Sunday, June 30, 2013

Living One Day At A Time

The thought of living one day at a time, is not a new one. It is done by not worrying about the next day as you can not predict if you will even be around this earth the next day. In reality we would guess that we will live to the next day. How are we suppose to plan for tomorrow then. I beleive you should plan ior have a plan of action for the following days and try to stick with it. Have realistic goals in mind. To say your not going to drink today is fine, about the next day , maybe your not sure? If you have a few months or days sober, it is possible this thought hits your head.

Taken at Ingram, Texas Christopherhyer2013
The best thing to do one hour at a time is pray for strength to not drink because of problems or issues you may have. Drinking just makes them go away for a while, and continued drinking will cause problems with issues that could of been taken care of the first day. I was guilty of this and would put off important things and let them build up until I was in trouble with finances of whatever.

 It is Sunday and this day the banks are closed and many bushiness are closed Living one day at a time , means to take it easy. there are only a few things that can be done as far as today is concerned. Take a extended vacation, if able to . This is a great way to get a breath of fresh air, and somewhere that is serene. We all need this type of stress reducer. I have been meditating lately and this has worked really good when I can't take a vacation.

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Back in the Saddle Again, Sober

I had to get away from AA for a few days and refresh myself from the war stories. I am feeling better that I took a break and ready to go to a 10am Meeting this morning. I think making a few meetings in a week is going to be where I will not burn out so much. We will see, it really is noce to go to meetings and see some good folks and say hi to them.

I made some decisions that are based on how I feel about going to meetings everyday and to my 4 year chip that I could care less. It really means nothing to me, maybe when I reach 5 years increments, that will be a celebration of sorts. What matters is staying sober and living life to the best I can. I write a lot and this gets my feelings out, and I suggest for you to do this. It is good for your soul and read about positive affirmations and meditate. Meditation is good, and these are a lot of you tube videos for self-hypnosis that really can calm down a mind that races .

You still have to enjoy every day and if something bothers you change it. Like the prayer goes"God grant me the serenity to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference"I have taken this prayer to another level and discovered it really works when you work with yourself. This is a selfish program that does reflect positively on other people when you work it. Here is a video on meditation I pulled from You Tube and hope this helps you like it has helped me , even for 5 minutes of relief, it is worth it. Have a great weekend. God Bless.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Burning out in AA

I have to speak for myself, I think I am getting burned out at AA. I have been going to at least one meeting a day and I have to say this. AA does not keep me sober!! Shocked, don't be , I realized last night that my spiritual relationship with God is what keeps me sober. It has kept me sober for over 4 years, not AA. I am not downplaying AA , I am stating a fact. Where did I get this spiritual relationship? From prayer in the morning and all during the day and at night. The craving for beer or pot has gone, and has been for a long time. In AA each person recounts their drinking and what they drank , it makes me thirsty for a drink. No shit, it is crazy to me, that war stories are told and I am sick of them. Let's talk about living today and not" Hi I am Tom and I am glad to be at AA and I have been sober for 60 years and by the grace of this program I have been sober for this long, and the guy begins to recite every chapter in the Big Book". So fucking what, is he not "self seeking, and worried about his next chapter in the Big Book" or is he headed for a fall. Maybe he just likes to talk to anyone that will listen.. I am not sure.

So why go to AA? I went to meet people that shared the same experience as I , but found out that the only thing I have in common with these good folks is a desire to not drink and I was unable to control my drinking at  a few points in my life. Does AA keep me sober, No. I know this may shock AA people but once I looked at this program, I personally get tired of the same old shit everyday at the meetings. Maybe I am burned out, but all the talking about liquor has made my craving a little bit more observant. What I am trying to say is I dont think about taking a drink every time something good or bad happens to me. I think about how to deal with it, the problem. Not drink it away. I already know I can't drink my problems away, and knew this before I went to AA. Am I at the wrong place? I was never locked up in prison or believe in DWI. I have no sympathy for those who drink and drive, they are idiots. Do what I did if your drunk , hire a limousine to pick you up and help you spend your money so you don't have enough to drink the next night. There is no common sense to driving and drinking. If you do this , you should be put in jail and pay for it. You could of killed me or a child while drinking and driving, dumb ass.

I have no empathy for those who beat up people from drinking or doing stupid shit . That just means they are mentally not ready to drink. I am not saying that one should drink and sit at home like I did. That is bad also. But I commit no crimes when I did this. I just fucked my self up when I did this and I have learned my lesson. Is AA for people that are just plain stupid? I am not sure, most seem pretty smart, but a re-hash of the program night after night has shown me a few things, and why people do not go. I really will have to examine this a bit further and see if a 12 step program for Christians in recovery is possibly where I need to go. Right now, I think I am just fed up with the whole idea that I just don't seem to fit in with the present group I am with, yet I have been to about 7 different places in 4 towns. Same AA ore-amble and a new comer comes in and people are nice to them, but what kind of help are they getting, none. I have given my business cards to a few of these fellows and no one cals, so there is a flaw in this system that was set up to help alcoholics.

Working the steps is still a vital part of staying sober, I believe you can do this with a close friend or stranger and be done with it, and possibly go back to it when needed. Always help out your fellow human beings as step 12 suggest, do we all help others we see in need, no , but sometimes we do. That is human nature, and if you have a blown out tire on the freeway , usually that would be considered a 12 step , you are helping out a unfortunate one that has a problem. I beleieve AA works for some people, and some have no other choice as they can't believe in a higher power and possibly AA is their higher power. Confused today, sorry if I offend you. Chris

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

William James and Sobriety

William James was a was an American philosopher and psychologist who had trained as a physician. He lived in the late 1800s to 1910. He also was the first person to start a Psychology class in America. He is mentioned in Bill W.'s video I saw on an AA site on the Internet. Bill W. said after reading "The Varieties of Religious Experiences" by William James he had a spiritual awakening. He had no desire after this episode to take another drink.

Interested as I am about this subject, Alcoholism, I decided to buy this book and wow, it is over my head. William is a Philosopher that blows me away with his words in this book. It is over 400 pages on religious beliefs and material concerning religion as a whole and spiritual beliefs that manifest itself. It is hard reading to a guy like myself.

After doing some research and putting down this book. I find out how brilliant this man is, or was and how he added to oour society of AA and the world at large. These are a few quotes from him"Act as if  what you do makes a difference. It Does"

"Belief creates the actual fact"

"The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another"

"Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing."

"The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook"

Powerful stuff, huh.....This fellow was very precise in this book, and the meaning of living is installed in this book, it would seem. The simplicity of his quotes are elegant and straight forward compared to his book, which is a back and forth pragmatic genius that eludes a reader.

Have a great day and check out the book if you can read this type of information, its very complex. God Bless. 06/26/2013

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Sober Past Time Projects

I like to fool around with music and videos, this is an example of what I like to do in my spare time, I hope you enjoy this I composed the music and the Video was shot of the West Texas Skyline from several photographs.  Christopher

Selective Reasoning with a Sober Human

Being sober does not mean all your problems will go away. In fact, quite the opposite happens, you tend to have more problems. How you handle these problems is called living. Selective reasoning is a sober human being is what I call a person who drinks no more, and has decisions to make in life. We all have bills and some of us still have a family that cares for us or relies upon us for financial means. How do we selectively go about deciding on the correct thing to do today?

One thing is to attend AA somewhere, and move about to other AA meetings to select a place where you feel more comfortable. This is a good idea to do and I am still going to different groups every day to se how they are run and scope out the longevity of sobriety. I think the longer the sobriety in the group , the more I will get out of the talking that goes on in AA. There are some groups where people talk consistently while another is talking and these can be annoying. There are AA groups that cater to certain people that have either been to court or ordered to go to AA, I steer past these, yet it is good to attend these, so as to know what an outcome this tragedy would be.

Selective reasoning with a sober human may not be easy to do . Some of us have scatter brains from years of use and abuse, and we are not at fault. We just need more time in the program of AA to get our heads cleared out and stay focused. There are still groups that all invite the occasional drinker that is drunk into the group, and this is an interesting thing when happens. It c
an make you rejoice that one is not drinking again. In Fact this is encouraged in AA to come to meetings even if drunk. This rarely happens but does. You have to have an open mind in AA, there are some sore heads also and great people that have a plethora of information for you and I.

I hope you have a great Tuesday and Hello Russia, we are glad to have you on this blog. I hope you can translate this page with no problems. I have noticed that 50 percent of the readers to this blog is Russian. That is great, and I want you to keep coming back for new information, daily. God Bless and have a great Day….Christopher  

Monday, June 24, 2013

How Long Should You Take To Work The 12 Steps

The twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous are meant to help you stay sober. The faster you work these twelve steps the chances of having a relapse dwindles.Yes, work these within a month if possible , then start working with other alcoholics to help them get sober, this is a plan of action. A plan that needs no hesitation. You will find those of us t
The Park In Midland, Texas by Christopher Hyer
hat say you should work step 4 for a few months, that's crap. You can work this step in a few days if not in a couple of days. AA has been known in the past for making newcomers go through hell in these simple steps. No more, as Chris Raymer suggest , take these steps and work them with a sponsor as quickly as possible. You will need to do this in order to not have a relapse of alcoholism.

I'm guilty of not doing this, as of today I am going into warp speed and working through my fourth step and onward, I will meet with my sponsor as soon as possible and go  over my 4th and 5th step. I have heard this over and over again and I need to take action. I have put off doing the steps in order to go to meetings.I am right now not working full time so I should have the time to work these steps in a few weeks if not this week. I beg you please to work through these and finish these steps so you also can stay dry and sober. We have to or we die. There is no two ways about it , we are only one drink away from going back to where we began. God Bless and Let's get started now!!

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Sunday The Day of Rest

Take it easy today, is the slogan of this Sunday 06/21/2013. Sometimes our dreams are not God's dream for us, yet how do we know? I have a dream of shooting surfing on North Padre Island Texas and I have lived this dream, but not on my time. God decides when your dreams are to happen and how to prepare for these dreams, give your heart and soul and prayer to God and let him make that decision. Is this an easy task, of course not. It is something we have to do everytday, is ask for his forgiveness in our own selfish ways. Then pray for the things in your life to change. They will in time. The spiritual malady that exists in each and every one of us, is to have what we want now.

It is too unrealistic to get what we want on our own time, Thy will be done , not ours. It's hard to swallow that line, yet when we do all sorts of wonderful things in our lives start to happen. When I surrender myself to God to do with me as he sees fit, I get an answer but maybe not the answer to a question I originally asked for. Hardly , I can remember what I asked for in the beginning because as time passes through each day we strive for something new. If its materialistic, I don't know how God answers this prayer, if it is to keep us from thinking about drinking the obsession wears away after some time, and the thought will creep into my head on occasion, but to act on this would be devastating . I know this from experience or learning from my prayers. We have to walk spiritually with God all through the day and hope the decisions we make , will impress God. He runs the show, we are mere puppets that should follow His lead. Taking control out of your hands and giving this to a higher power such as God is not even conceived by most church goers. If you have mastered this effort, then you know what I talk about.

To master the effort of letting go and let God is a learned behavior. It can come easily by prayer to God for his guidance in our days. It is proven that this is the only way to stay sober is the steps of AA mixed with a spiritual guidance of God. It does work and you have to work at it. Faith without works is dead, comes to mind. This is a keen example of how one can come to grip with his higher power. Let go today and let God into your life, and see how tonight you have made progress as a person throughout the day, and pray to God before you go to sleeep for not only yourself to have a spiritual relationship , yet show you the way to the devine presence of his way of thinking. It works, if you  let go and Take It easy. Chris Hyer  

Friday, June 21, 2013

Friday 06/21/2013 Big Book Series

The "Big Book" of AA says this,"half measures availed us nothing.We stood at the turning point.We asked his protection and care with complete abandon." What does this mean to you? 

Chris Raymer in New York City Speaks in this video, He is from Ingram , Texas and is excellent!!
I think it means that we tried to do things half ass and they were not good enough. We still fell on our own habits and forgot about God and now is the time to fully understand him and how he works. Here are the steps to recovery is the next sentence.

SO we tried and we fell, unless we changed our attitudes, we are destined for more misery. I don't want that in my life, do you? So we took on the twelve steps of recovery and tried to work these into our daily lives. This is all try to work these steps to the best we could is all God ask from us. Say your morning prayers and ask for God to lift you up and prepare you for the day ahead.

This is a program for living life sober and just wanting a new plan of action for ourselves. Not much to ask for and if prayed for , all would happen. belief in a spirit greater than yourself , because it is true, stop trying to run the show, or you will fail. Thi is a tough act to follow with our stubborn heads running the show, try today to let God run the show. Forgive those that cut you off when driving, Say " God Bless them", Yell it at them.. It feels god instead of cussing anyway.

Have a sober day today and go hit a AA meeting at noon if possible, they are a great refresher for me. Then look forward to tonight when you will be around your AA friends and live a little. Life is fun, and even in its weakest moment, you can laugh at yourself, and go on... God Bless....

Thursday, June 20, 2013

The Spiritual Malady Inside Alcoholics

The days go by so fast that we have to slow ourselves down. As an alcoholic that is in recovery, I know too much about the ins and outs of a normal day. What is normal? No one can define this except to live life on a daily basis, and abide by all laws. The laws of society and your place in this world must be ideal for one to live. The spiritual malady exists in each and every person on this earth. When one has an addiction, the spiritual malady can go insane inside of a person whom is alcoholic. I will explain this further in this book. We, as a society shun alcoholics that are on the street pushing baskets from one place to another. They are searching for their soul and drinking for these few unfortunates is a way of living. The spiritual malady inside these people is the same as most recovering alcoholics. The difference is controlling this through a spiritual connection to a higher power, or God. This sounds very easy to the normal drinker who m can put down one drink and be finished. There are those of us that cannot do this though. We drink into oblivion and this makes us feel good when doing the action of drinking. The next day our desire to quit comes for only a few moments and then the insanity of the spiritual malady kicks in and makes us take another drink to start the day out. This is a never ending cycle until one gets help from a detoxification system of some sort.
Too many people go to treatment centers, to stop drinking entirely. However, upon leaving a facility as a drug and alcohol treatment center the urge to drink comes about from being away from the confines of a facility. There is big money to be made by treatment centers and they are growing as this story is written. The thousands of dollars for a thirty day treatment center can range from the forty thousand dollar range all the way up to one hundred thousand dollar range. Insurance companies are paying only a small portion of this tab, because the relapse rate is high among first time recovering alcoholics. Why is this so?

Let’s look at the situation, you just were confined to this beautiful treatment center and every day you have meetings all day long, and are surrounded by people that you can relate to on a mental, and physical basis. The recovering alcoholic goes through many psychological changes in treatment centers. They are finding out who they really are, and some are afraid of leaving the confinement of this place. There is controlled non-drinking activities for the patient. People get use to this and realize once they have gone their usual thirty day treatment that they will face reality. There are several who have excellent insurance and will treatment hop. This is the action of going to one treatment center to another in a matter of months, because of the confinement they are relaxed and want to remain sober and this is the only way they can. A community of these people exists and go through thousands of dollars to remain in this active group of alcoholics. This in itself is a sickness, then the insurance money is gone, they are left with being homeless, if not staying sober and pushing a basket full of clothes around the neighborhood, as the old drunk who can’t stay sober. This is a reality in our world. Most human’s frown upon these few unfortunate people that are destined to die if life does not change for them. Can these “bums” change?

Yes, that is the good part, can you change him? No, there is no way a person can change anybody that is sick spiritually, and most will end up dead or in mental institutions. The worst case scenario is this person ends up in jail, and confined for life of prison. They can be lawyers, doctors and your everyday person that just cannot handle drinking. There is hope and that hope lies in the principles in AA. Yes, may of men and women have lost everything materialistic and even part of their pride? Their spiritual malady is dead and they are physically and internally sick. They can survive if given a hand of help, and driven to a place where hope still exists. AA in itself has helped people sober up in spare rooms set aside for those whom cannot afford treatment, and have the necessary tools to aid a victim of alcoholism and gain his pride back for twenty four hours, then a spiritual program outlined in the Big Book of AA can be shown to the newcomer and a new person can emerge as if a child is reborn. Many of us have been this direction and thank God for programs that cost no money, and offered by such agencies, like the Salvation Army and others. These agencies care about the alcoholic that has lost everything including their personal lives. One can become a new and active member in his community, if strong and willing to follow a few steps on a daily, or hourly basis. The spiritual malady can be re-shaped to accept this new way of living.

There is hope and even recovery if this person will dedicate his life to a higher power, or God as he understands him. You must have a spiritual revelation in your heart and head and want what AA has to offer. This is the only way to stay sober. Many of us have tried to drink only a few beers, or mix drinks where they are not as strong, and ended up flat on the street passed out again. We get up and try again, and again. Sometimes there is no hope for those who keep falling because they get involved in illegal activities and are helpless. There are many more of us that have been beaten up enough and give into the twelve steps of AA and live normal lives, as do our neighbors, and become respected, born again humans. We love, and are loved by our fellow friends and help others to quit drinking with our experiences, strength, and hopes.  
There is a re-birth of character through following the outline in AA and one can laugh for once in his or her life and lead an employed, enjoyable life, with the understanding that one drink will lead to another embedded into their head they will never forget where they are and where they came from. That is what AA is all about, fellowship and helping the alcoholic deal with living life on life’s terms. It’s a new way of living and you will be thrilled of how you are perceived from others who may have known you during the bad times and respect your new self as a person who has beat the disease of alcoholism. Though, do not fool yourself, you are one drink away from disaster. This has to be remembered and never forgotten or you will relapse and it could be your last one.

Working The Steps on Thurday

Working the twelve steps in AA can help with a multitude of addictions you may have. It could be alcoholic, eating disorders, gambling, and anything you have an addiction to. These steps have been successful in daily living for millions of people. Why do they work? The only answer I can come up with is that you let go and help others to obtain their destination, whether alcoholic, or a person with an addiction to eating too much or eating too little. You let God take over and let him rule your spirit. It sounds complicated, but if it were easy we would have more sober and less problems in life.

You must work with other alcoholics or you die. That's the truth, Alcohol will kill you eventually if you keep getting sober then slip often enough, this is a proven fact. The twelve steps of alcoholics anonymous was written with you in mind. To help you with daily living without a drink. It works if you work it. Take it easy on your self and make the best of it you can.

Did you know AA is online in chat. Yes, there are AA meetings online and that is wonderful for anyone. It cannot take advantage of the getting out of the house and meeting people though. This is a good way to begin and get your feet wet though with the program itself. You can attend these meetings all day long, and specific times are on these web sites that sponsor such programs.

Do yourself a favor today and attend an AA meeting and go away with something new from someone. It is a program of relief to most of us, and you will not have to suffer alone. God Bless....Christopher Hyer

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Wed and a New Beginning

This is a great day to start a new project. What can you do? Well , I will let you in on what I am doing. I write articles for several different magazines online. I am pretty sloppy on this blog site, yet when it comes to work I am as precise on my grammar as I can be. Spelling has to be exact, and word usage has to be perfect. We strive for perfection anyway, right. Well none of us are perfect , and I get rejected almost 50 percent of the time with my articles. If your starting out, I would suggest you study up on grammar and make an outline on the topic you will write about.
My Old C5 2004 Corvette,

When I write for this blog I do it my way, its a free for all for me. So my sentence structure and words just come from my brain onto this page without any order. Therefor the misconception of a good writer is at hand. I suggest also that you write for the best. Yahoo Voices is a great place to make good money, yet the Editors are strict. If you get an article on this site , you can make big money. I have made about 400.00 per article, so take your time in writing for them and have patience. They will pay off big only if you have the quality they are looking for. There is also a writing Academy with Yahoo Voices and this will help you get your artic
les published by this group. I have not even finished this Academy yet, and I have been lucky on a few articles.

Staying sober means you have to put action to your prayers. Faith without works is dead. You have to help other alcoholics every day to stay sober in this world. Go to an AA meeting at noon or at 8pm. They are universal in time usually in every city in the USA. My friends from Russia who visit this site, I am curious to your input please make a comment if able to.  Today is the beginning of a new day and make it count, help someone out if you can, alcoholic or not. Maybe a child needs help with life, help.God bless and keep your head up high to the sky, your special and God knows this. Christopher Hyer 06/19/2013

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Tuesday and Living It

Christopherhyer Art Oil 2013
Well my fellow friends, its Tuesday again and what a day. Went to AA at noon and I was smoked out. I smell like a big lit cigarette. The meeting was good, yet I won't be going back due to all the smoke in this place. I was told, hey man you must of been to a bar that was filled with smoke, so why does it matter.  Well it does, I have quit for four years and I hate the smell of it on me. I can handle some smoke, but shit I smell. I will change and take a shower soon. You see we just can't have things our way. I have been working for a company that paid me by the job. Well I was paid peanuts for the work I do. I had enough and quit that today. I will find something else. I am experienced in many facets so not that worried about it.

So as, you can tell, I have had a trying day and God the spirit that guides me, knows what all I have done today. I believe he is ok with my decisions. The work was getting to me, not being paid what I deserved. I thought I could hold on and get more certificates in training, however I still have a few on my own I have to get. I do so much to make money to live that I will not go broke.That is what is so col about being a writer and photographer, with IT experience. I collect art also and make films. No big deal to lose one th
ing that took up too much of my time. I do need benefits, my insurance is high.

Let's look at this , I lost my job and I went to AA I am still sober, I was flipped off twice this morning for doing the speed limit, and I can live with all this. See how AA works in my life and God. There is no worry , I know God has something in store for me and I am excited for it. It will not happen when I want it to, but I have a film that I want to make in Corpus Christi, Texas, that I never finished. I may be able to complete this in the next couple of months and market this and make enough for a couple of years. Who knows, really God is the only one that knows, and I am confident that something good will happen, it always do if you do something about it.

Have a blessed day and move on like I am , and you will be ok. God Bless.  

Monday, June 17, 2013

Monday and Sober Today

I have been writing my journal on this blog and a few of you have been reading it, so I will continue my journey into this AA world. It is ok to just jump right up and leave a meeting. I did it again last night. No reason to be rude when you do this, I was interrupted by the host and got up set the book on the desk in front of this man, looked him in the eyes, and shook my head. I then left. It is ok, do I have resentments, evidently so. I do not like to be interrupted in a rude way when I am at a meeting stating my ten cents worth of knowledge. Dammit!!

Christopherhyer2013 Man Hanging from Helicopter....Wow
But I am cooled down and was last night, I plan to go back tonight to the same group, just because there is a guy who possibly had a bad night, or didn't get to see his kids on Sunday might have made him this way. I forgive him, and move onward toward reality. AA is not perfect, but when it comes to managing your life, you can't get much better than AA. There are some really good folks in AA and then there are the ones who linger and speak the word and if spiritually driven, you can tell if they are for real.

I have a sponsor now, and he is the real deal, he has not asked me to kneel down in cow shit and pray to the heavens for my redemption. He is a genuine good man. I  know this from the day I met Eddie, I was picky and wanted a fellow, that has empathy, good humor and this man is well versed in life, I know this.In my heart and in my few conversations with a person I can tell a true gentlemen or lady. It is easy if you just listen and see how they converse with you. That is the spirit of God within a person!!You either have it or you don't, there is no other questioning in your mind. I have this attribute and I am blessed with good people in my life. The evil and devilish works seem to follow people that do not do things in accordance to rules and laws. These people do not want anything to do with a guy like me, because they sense I might be be God driven, and run at the mere thought of having to talk to me. Some wolfs in sheep clothing will appear before me, but once you look them in the eyes, You can tell if they are good or bad. This is a scientific fact, if you are conscious of this.

God Bless Monday and let the week go on its course and I hope this has made a difference in your life, if not go surf the web for what your looking for. Good night..God Bless...

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Sunday Bloody Sunday and Fathers Day Sober

Well, just got back from my refreshing trip to the Hill Country in Texas. I did not do all I set out to do, but I did get to say Happy birthday to Harry,. He is my friend of many years that turned 90 today, and he was doing just fine, a little dementia but ok. I had a great photographic experience as you see in these photos. It rained most of Saturday then I headed home this morning so I could get ready for Monday.

I did not pick up my four year chip from La Hacienda, and I have my reasons, I shall pick it up here in my home town where I know some people. It really matters not where I get it, just need to recieve it I guess. I went to 2211 AA club in Kerrville last night and it was good. That's the thing about AA you can go to other towns and be welcome there. Its like you have friends all over the world. It is a great thing. Had a good steak dinner and went to bed last night and woke up , said my pryers and went to see Harry before I left for Midland, Texas.

Not much to talk about , I am tired, enjoy the pictures. Have a great fathers day and hopefully you will see your kids. This is my first year to see mine in 19 years for Fathers day..God Bless.

Friday, June 14, 2013

Friday night , the beginning to a weekend and before you know it , a past tense. Monday will be here. We just go round and round for some odd reason. Have you ever thought of this? One day just leads into another day and for what? I don't know what God's meaning on earth is for us, and neither do you. Some of us have girlfriends,and maybe that is why we have weekends, to spend with our wives and girlfriends. I don't have either one, and I am still interested in what life has to bring me, or what is it I can offer life!

Maybe that is what daily living is about, as an alcoholic, I lived for the weekends, and staying up all night smoking a joint and having a few beers. Watching TV and "Fast Times At Ridgemont High", That was a typical Friday night activity, of course we watched other things I just don't remember what? When sober , and sobriety kick in we are to go to AA meetings at 8pm every night possible. I find this interesting , and do I like it? I am not sure, but I am not alone for that one hour. I am with people that have the same Friday nights I used to have. Drinking and drugging, and being irresponsible, as an adult, is not living life on God's terms, I suppose. I do not miss the hangovers or the expense of the narcotics or beer. Cigarettes to add to the bill. So one thing is for sure, I still spend money and can't figure out where the extra is from not doing the party lifestyle..hmmm

I will travel to Kerville , Texas Saturday morning to see a friend of mine that is on his death bed,he is 90 years old and a remarkable man.I am sad to say I think this will be my last time to spend with him as Alzheimers and other heart problems are just now coming to a close. When I met him he had problems , but always got around, he does not get around anymore. He has not given up nor will he, but I feel it tonight and all day that I best go see my old friend, and bid him goodbye, till I see him upstairs. He use to show cars with his deceased wife, and travel in a Lucy mobile home all over the United States, he has a good story to tell, and I remeber most of it when I lived in Corpus Christi, Texas . That is where I met Harry, and he was driving a brand new Mustang at 80 years old. A hot rod new one, with all the bells and whistles. He lost his license recently ina one vehicle wreck on his ranch. That did him in , when you take a drivers license away from a man that loved cars.

I will go read to him at this Rehab, he is at, about God , because he taught me all I know about God. I love this guy and he is broken now, and wishes to go on to see his wife and friends. There is a time in life, I recently noticed that when all your friends die and you are left alone, things happen to you. You develop memory loss and a loss to live . Harry loves life , don't get me wrong, he will only talk about the good in li
fe, never negative, a very brilliant young man, he is.God will be blessed with his presence when he comes home.

So Friday nights is not so bad, I have trip to look forward to and I pick up  my 4 year sobriety chip at the Treatment center in Hunt Texas. Yes, I am excited for some reason, I get to sit with the alumni of La Hacienda ,instead of the patient area. I get to talk my talk, and I will be ready. This blog has helped me get things out in the open. It has been good for many of you I can see the numbers rise.
I will write everyday for as long as I think is needed, that may be a lifetime. So come back and visit and maybee you will get something out of this site. God Bless and be careful.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Beautiful Day In Wonderland, Sober Again

Its a sunny, and hot morning in West Texas, I had a great evening with a young lady that is just superb. I met her at AA and she is quite the spiritual one. I need this in my life, we closed down the Outback Steakhouse last night, and she was a colorful person. Very pretty and soft spoken, but funny. She will radiate in my mind today. However I have a tough day ahead of me like I guessed I would.

I will let God into my system and let him work miracles in me today. I need him every hour to be with me. I rely upon God to help you and me. He does miracles , when I can't do my work right. I fix computers and I have a All in One to fix and totally break down and rebuild this morning and another PC after that one. Can I do them all, we will see.  I am going to Fed ex to pick up parts and then off to my first account this am.

I have a great weekend to look forward to , I get my four year chip from the treatment center, La Hacienda on Sunday in  Ingram , Texas. God's country and I get to relax a bit. My friend Harry is 90 and is being moved into Rehab and I hope he can hold on to let me say Hello and possibly goodbye to him. God Bless and have a sober and fun day...

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Mid Noon On Wed 06/12/2013

Work has slowed for me today and I am piling up for Thursday to get some work accomplished in IT. I have had a good day , ecept that I met a girl in AA and she didn't call me yet. I was a bit bummed out cause she is really special to me. She is beautiful , smart, and funny. All wrapped up into one cool package. She is even my age. Go figure and she has not called me back from this morning. I know that there are people in AA that do not call, or feel like shit and just don't want to be bothered. I , on the other hand am consistent and if I say I will be there I am. She made me no promises, though, so I should shut up.

In AA relationships can be gruesome, and overwhelming. Two people that meet in AA may not be that compatable with each other. You seee them every night at meetings and they know your inner most secrets as you speak in AA at closed and open meetings. You get to know their weakness and their strengths. For a relationship to work in AA , one must be careful not to step on another's face. We will see how this will go or not go. It is a miracle to find that one girl whom you know is right for you though. It has been 16 years since I have had a relationship and maybe I am acting too fast. I willl pray about it and see what happens. Pray , pray , pray and more prayer is what this program calls for in all instances it seems. I dont get tired of it, it comes naturally. So be it. I should of hit a 1200pm meeting today as I wonder what to do as I have no real work right now but some writing to do for cash. I guess I just answered my question, so have a good day and we will talk to you soon. God Bless.

Wed "The Age Of Anxiety" Sober Again

Historians will probably call our time on earth" the age of anxiety"anxieties are caused by the natural result when our hopes are centered in anything short of God. When we make anything alse our goal, frustration, and defeat are inevitable.Though we have less to worry about than previous generations, we have more worry.We have it easier than our forefathers, we have more uneasiness. We should have less real cause for anxiety, as we believe more in God and practice our spiritual beliefs. It is not easy to do. Try to pray for God to lift your anxieties, some grow into full panic attcks. If this happens go see a doctor and possibly seek medication for this. One must take medication for heart problems and if you have diabetes you have to take medicine. Panic is no different when it controls your life.

There is many problems that God can control, but if there is a chemical imbalance to a person , they need medicine. Do not be afraid to accept this help and be aware of the problems associated with panic disorder medications. Most can be addictive , and help. So it can be a double edged sword to a person taking such medicines. If drinking or a recovering alcoholic , you must make that decision based on your experiences with other medicines. Some frown upon people in AA that take anti-anxiety medicines , yet this should not be an issue unless mixed with alcohol. If you take the medicine as directed and not throw a beer or any other substance in your body , you should be able to take what you need for panic disorder.

Talk any medicines over with your doctor before taking them. If he thinks there is a problem with you and any medications that he is offering you to help reduce panic disorder, he should inform you. Ask an AA member and they may say just give it to God and let him take over. Remember though , if you have
uncontrollable panic that keeps you from meetings , personally I think the choice is up to you. Remember, also that possibly you will not need medication for the long term of panic disorder. If that is so, you will experience some sort of withdrawal. If you drink stay away from any type of panic disorder medicines. This will only add to your problems.

There will be those who disagree with me from AA on this subject, yet in reality it is those that may need anti-depressants. The people in AA are not doctors and they have no medical experience, so keep this in mind. A doctor is familiar with alcoholics and you must inform them of your addiction , if any, so they may provide any information pertaining to you as a person in the AA program. I hope this helps anybody that has panic disorder as I do. Have a great day and God bless you on this mid week part of your life.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Tuesday Afternoon and Sober

I dreaded and shook when I went to work this morning, it was a casual mistake I did to this computer, and all was fine. I asked for God's help and did it happen. Yes, and not when I wanted it to either. That is how the spiritual God works in my world,. If you look back at what I wrote this morning you will tell that I am in a wreck of emotions. I did not let it get to me , though. I kept my head on straight and went to get the part I needed and had a few problems and noticed this PC was not attached by brackets in the right manner, solved my ordeal.
Photogrphy by Christopher Hyer2013

It is the little things like what I went through that can cause a person to think stupid thoughts. I did not think about drinking, but if I had only a few days sobriety , I would of thought about it. This shows how crazy your inner self reacts to things you have no control over. The spiritual malady was being tugged at within my soul and I knew if I just prayed about it all would come out alright.

This is what AA is all about is believing in a power greater than ourselves and did I second guess it, No, I was prepared for anything. I think negative thoughts sometimes and I have to pray for positive thoughts. I have been negative thanks to my upbringing, and how I use to react to situations I have no control over. AA is the same way , it gives you insight on how to let go of the
se negative thoughts, and practice makes perfect. Thy will be done ( Not Mine). If I can keep this in my head daily , I will be ok. You also will be ok if you believe in a spirit greater than yourself. God does not give us anymore than what we can handle. Read Job in the bible.

Job was knocked down and delivered from God and he went through Hell on his way back to God. He never lost sight of God and kept his promise, what a strong man Job was. The devil wanted Job , but God would not let him take Job. This part in the bible is crucial for our sobriety, read it and weep , and know you do not have it as bad as Job did.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the courage to change the things I can"  Say this over and over and over again ....This prayer does work and you have to work insside the prayer. For "Faith without works is dead" Thank You for paying attention to my words. I hope it helps someone out there. God Bless.

Tuesday, What A Day

Tuesday and what a day this will be for me. I have an easy day but this morning I have a hard project. I will not discuss it. I might as well. There is a bezel that goes on a LCD screen on a laptop and I could not get this on yesterday so I ordered a new one and it comes in this morning. I hope this will fit and I can complete my job. I get nervous thinking about this because it it so easy to install. Yet for some reason I could not . It has me baffled, and I need to give this to God to give me answers, because I feel like a fool. I might have wires behind it binding this up. I will just have to bite the bullet and find out. Please God let this part go on and let me feel conscious that I am doing the best job I can. Let me not be nervous and take it easy on myself. I am a nervous wreck in thinking of this project this morning, the customer is ok with it. I will need to be calm , cool and collective. I can get this piece on this morning with no problem, it might take a little more effort than I have applied.

You see we all go through periods of un sureness in our lives, if there is such a word. To give things up to God is hard sometimes when its materialistic. I believe God will help me work this out as he has before. I will be calm and collective throughout this day and pray while I work on this project for you and me.  God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the courage to change those things I can ,Amen..

Have a blessed day and remember as I need to God will be with us even if we shake all day and keep him in  our hearts  and in our minds. I am like a rusty nail this morning and I over slept. I should of been more awakened. I will do just fine, please pray for me to do fine. Thank You.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Monday Morning and Sober

Monday morning and being sober today. It is sunny and bright in West Texas this morning , that only means hot heat and hot heads. Well, if I let the hot heads get to me, as I thought , the work load is light for me today.. I never know until I reach for my keynoard and punch in. Technology today makes it possible for me to get my work assignments over the PC and then do the work. I can shose not to do it. However it will just stack up on me through the weeek and I would hate that.

I like my job, I work in IT break fix, and fix computers and printers for a company out of Dallas. I don't make that much money yet, as I have not gotten all my Certifications for working on all the different computers out. I am taking it slowly to try to understand the platforms I am working on.

Have a great day and know God will help you when you ask for his help, even at work pray a little prayer like( Thy will be done, not mine) and it works. You will see that you will complete task that use to baffle you. Have
a good day.

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Sobriety and Monday 06/10/2013

Well Monday is coming and a new week is ahead for us all. Hopefully you had a good weekend and your ready for the real world again on Monday. I went to AA step study on Sunday night, and it was good as usual. Step 4 is what we discussed. I have not done this the AA way, I have done it my way, and do it everyday. To do it right though , Is coming soon. I have a sponsor and I will start working on step 4 like most do.

I am not going to run AA like I want to. Selfish and self centerd , is what you could call this. I am going to run this program the AA way. I hold no resentments toward anyone I can think of. Well, hold on there are some customers I do have resentments about, so maybe I have to dig a little to find out what my issues are. I guess that is the true meaning of working the 4th step.

However , Monday is a new day and my workload will be light , possibly. It usually is, and I am grateful for this. I need the extra money , but I am still in training and I like to take it slow and consistent. How are you tonight?

Well I am going to listen to a little bit of Chris R. from Ingram and go to bed. I like listening to him, it makes for a full day. Search out Chris Raymer and listen to his MP3s he is all over the internet and a great speaker. Have a good night and good morning.

My Name Is Chris and I am a Alcoholic

 Damn not use to this blogger interface. Hi , hope all is well with you today or tonight. My name is Chris Hyer an I write a diary on my dri...