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Showing posts with the label feel better

Alcoholic ? Now How Can I be One if I Don't Drink Anymore

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I have a problem with AA. How could I be an alcoholic if I freakin don't drink anymore? Good question I think and I am sure if you are a recovering or recovered alcoholic you had to ask this question to your self. Is it because we call ourselves alcoholics to impress others in AA. I would like to stand up and say "Hello I'm Chris and I am here to learn how to live life without drugs or alcohol, can you help me"?Maybe someone has said this in a meeting. I should because that is why I go to AA meetings and to learn how to live through the Big Book of AA is fine in the 1930s when it was written at least the initial book. I find a lot of biblical information on how I should live in this book, but does it need to be rewritten to the time we are now living in?

I listen to old timers say the same old shit day after day sometimes, and I can tell you what they are doing right now. They are at an AA meeting telling the same old shit again, sometimes three or four times a day a…

Thy Will be Done Social Sobriety

On Page 86 of the Big Book of AA there is a couple of paragraphs in this that say when we go through the day we see where we could help others not be self-centered and such. I read this every morning and then it says on page 89 I think that during the day we should say "Thou will be done", and keep saying this when we no longer have control over a problem or instance where we may be confused as to what we need to be doing during the working day and night. I find this quite useful and have begun using this phrase when I want to lie about something or just want something to go my way. "Thou will be done", Not my will be done..lol. However, it is very easy and comforting when done at the right time, because you know at this point in your day you have done everything in this world to ignore a situation or put something off. When saying this little phrase, I have noticed I seem to turn my car around and take care of something I did not want to or made me pull over and s…

Watch out For CBD if you are Sober

I wanted to touch on information about CBD products that some may have a concern. I know I did and did something about it. I tested and tried Vaping CBD and there was supposedly no THC in the CBD I had bought in Texas in my hometown of Midland, Texas as THC is illegal. Granted the Hemp plant and Marijuana plant are one in the same, certain extraction takes place and I was told and read that THC would not be in the product I had consumed. I never felt high when taking the products sold in Midland, however, is concerned when I quit Vaping this crap a few weeks ago, I decided to take a drug test just to make sure I was clean. The result is I tested positive for THC. Never smoked Pot in over ten years and I just Vaped the products that were sold legally at this store for anxiety and the CBD benefits. The store clerks said I could smoke all the CBD they had and not ever test positive for THC, but they evidently smoke weed and or have not had any complaints from people like myself about the…

Recovering Addict and Being Normal

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What is normal? That is the million dollar question. Is anyone really normal? There are so many different types of people and they have so many beliefs. I would guess normality would be a sane person that abides by most of our laws and has a job, maybe a wife and a kid, but that statement is not true either. So I do know that to walk around drunk or high during the day or night, probably is not normal but in movies, they depict this as being normal.

I believe if you are doing right by Gods way that you must be somewhat normal. Don't hurt others on purpose and abide by the ten commandments the best as you can seem like you are trying to be a good citizen and good human. If you drink that does not make you a bad person if you drink because of problems then that is normal but not a good excuse. Complicated as it may seem, I think the most of us that respect others and treat them as we would like to be treated is the best idea of being a good human and reflects a normal attitude. We a…

Prayers for Recovering Addicts Do Good

I pray every day at sunrise and sunset. I pray in the work day and sometimes I forget to pray during the day. The world is full of love and hate. I think the media is to blame and the Internet. No matter who is to blame, prayers can calm a man down when anxious or depressed. God is with me all the time and checking up on you the rest of the time. He never leaves any one of us. He is always there. Sounds like a miracle, well God is the miracle that no one can really explain in a manner where realism is concerned. You either accept the fact that there is a God and enjoy his power that he holds as his spirit runs through your body, planning out the day for you one moment at a time. I must live in the moment because I have no idea where I will be in an hour from now. God is powerful and all I need to do is look at my dog or a tree and realize the imperfections are really perfections of life as God wants them to be. I rely on God to show me the strength and keep my head cool in hot situati…

God Loves You, Just Have To Believe, and Believe Can be Hard

To live a sober life and be productive is a challenge in itself. I don't know when I have felt so good in my life these last four months, and pray I do. I have not changed my prayers but I live with my prayers and don't expect anything in return and I'll be damned if God throws me a curve ball and what seemed doomed turns out ok. I have mentioned this many times and I have lived this many times. I think what I am trying to say is , if you really want something you have to look in the mirror and tell yourself and God it is time for a change please be with me. That is what I did 4 weeks ago and one miracle after another keeps happening. I deal with problems in a calm way, I dont stress at night or sweat the small stuff. Life has been good for me the last eight years, but I have to be careful cause I start to think well a drink sure sounds good about now. I have to say to myself I would not be in this good of a situation if I started drinking. Drinking has a lot to do with ho…

I get Bored AT Times being Sober

AT times I get pretty bored in between work and at home. I like being home but , I have exhausted my old hobbies with music and art. I find that the time I kill now is laying on the couch and watching a movie with my eyes closed, cause I am tired. Funny thing is I use to do the same thing when I was drinking . Except now , I am not. I don't wake up with the room spinning and I don't feel bad. Maybe a little bit depressed and wondering if I should do something new with my living situation. Midland, Texas is a boring town. No Lakes or mountains to gaze at and the only place to go out at night is AA, a restaurant, or bar. Being single my choices are very limited, I use to look forward to going to work. Now this is getting boring. I have been to more AA meetings and I enjoy these, but while I work I can't really attend these and that would be a cruch in a way.

AA cannot rule my life just guide it. I would get bored from going to a meeting every hour on the hour or every day fo…

Its Been s Sober time lately

It is April of 2016, and I have had a great new month witha new position in life, and my sobriety is well in tact with myself. I had planned a trip[ on my birthday which is on April the 17th to Las Vegas, but I did not feel right going by myself, so I lost a few hundred on this trip. You sometimes have to lose a little to gain self-confidence in why you are sober. I did some soul searching and I decided that Vegas was not right for me in the long run. I love to gamble but the drinking that goes on there and being by myself did not settle with em right now. So I have canceled the trip and I am heading to the mountains of New Mexico , and staying at a lodge where it is beautiful. I plan to take my photography equipment and take some pretty shots of the area, with the weather being so warm in Texas, and cooler in New Mexico.

I have to slow down when things start going in a positive direction , because I have the disease of alcoholism. I know that sounds like a cop out but I have lived so…

Sobriety, The Reason to Get Sober Today in 2016

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There are a multitude of reasons that starting a new year , in that starting a new life can be obtained today. Sobriety is the key focus of what you have set out to achieve and ready to start with a fresh attitude towards the world and yourself. Make a determined effort to go to a AA meeting today and meet one person, even if it is to say ,"Hello". This will start your journey into a new world where all things are possible . A new beginning to a hopeless end with drinking.

Go to just one AA meeting today, and they have these meetings all over your city if you live in a large metropolitan area. You just might make a difference in someone else life. You might see a co-worker or an attorney that you have known, but do not feeel ashamed, as they are there for the same reason you are there, to stay sober for just today and find materials to help you stay sober. Find a sponsor in this meeting, they will usually point people out that can sponsor a recovering alcoholic. Yes, that wou…

Sobriety in 2016 - Is it Possible?

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Sobriety in the past few years have been a positive influence in my family and my new friends towards myself. It has been a dream come true in areas of finacial situations and the many job changes I have gone through. Usually , I would not of made it this far, which is about 8 years of sobriety up to this date on January 21st, 2016. You never know how long you may stay sober, hoever with the tools from AA, such as the steps in the Big Book of Alcohollics Anonymous all things are truly possible.

The third step prayer in the Big Book  is very keen to how I live my life. For those not familiar with the third step prayer please look this up as I believe it is on page 60 right after ,"How it Works".
In starting a sober lifestyle I would have to recommend that you evaluate your situation and time in life to determine if this is in fact you. An alcoholic that desires to stay sober.

The only advice I can give to a person that is not sure if they have a drinking problem, is if you go …

After a Sober Thanksgiving Day in 2015

Thanksgiving in my family is very widespread. My brother and siter live in two different cities in Texas and California. My mother and Father both are re-married live close by . This year I was sick on Thanks giving day and being 52 and on a holiday  day, I would guess being sick is ok. When I was a youger person I always thought families should get together and celebrate the Holidays. When you get my age life sure does change. My family does get together in spurts over the year, it's like no one single time of the year, but it does happen. I am thankful for so many things in life, but most of all, that I am sober again for the seventh year of my life in a row.

It has not been hard staying sober for over seven years, but there have been challenges , and of course I am being challenged right now. Therefor , I was thinking about this blog that I have been writing for some time. It really is not mean't to be for everyone in the world to know about me. It is for me to look back ev…

Sober Living in a Drunk Society

In Midland, Texas the highlights for most drinkers are the nights of Wednesday through Sunday morning. How do I associate these days with drunks? As a Uber part time driver that is when we get the most calls at night. The majority of the drinkers are alcoholics rather than occasional drinkers. How am I to determine this, by the repeat customers on these daily nights, and the way they act. Take and pick them up to go from one bar to the next and each time more wasted than the 1st stop I had picked them up from which is usually their house.

Society in this West Texas town is tolerant of excessive drinking, I am not sure if the oilfield has anything to do with the heavy drinking this town seems to have. I know other cities are just as bad especially those with universities. Alcoholism is a disease that is spreading among the younger crowd into their older years. Unfortunately , most would not consider themselves alcoholics until they lose a wife or husband, or some dramatic event in thei…

Sober The Tough Times

I have not written for a while now and I guess things were going to good. I have lost my job with 2 years behind my belt. Was I being unreasonable , I don't think so. I was up for a pay raise and the company wanted me to go into Production Printing . I had no problem with moving up but not with the salary they were paying me or not willing to pay me. The company found a minute issue with my job performance and decided I did not deserve a raise this year. I informed them through email I did in fact deserve a raise and I was professional in asking for this raise. Anyway I am now a official Uber driver in Midland, Texas with hardly any rides this week.

Staying sober through all this has been a challenge but the obsession to drink has been taken away for many years now, In fact I have seven years sobriety , so going out and getting drunk was not an option this time. I got on my high horse and stated selling on eBay and making quite a bit of money drop-shipping products form other reta…

Staying Sober Through The Day

Work seems to help me and keeping my attitude towards God , and prayer keeps my mind offf of the drink thing. During the day I listen to music while I drive to different accounts around the area I live. I enjoy my music and my car, so most of the time I am occupied by work and driving during the day. I have been known to do a little bit of gambling online when I am not working a full day and I don't think this is positive for anyone. Like , I said from the beginning I am only human and I write this blog to keep track of my progress through the years of sobriety.
I attend AA meetings twice a week and sometimes more and sometimes not at all. I do find a spiritual connection when I go and I am glad when I go . The problem during the week is when I get home from a long day, I cook and feed and play with my Labrador and then relax playing my music and eat and then go to bed. Its been a good habit , yet sometimes a break in my habits are good also.I don't usually break my haits of p…

Faith Is Big With God and Sobriety

To have faith in the Lord God is to have a type of humility for life. You have to humble oneself to get faith . Faith in God is trusting him to help us in our every day lives. By faith all things are possible in life. The good and the bad can be controlled by faith in God. Do you have the faith to walk with the Lord and stay sober today? It is not an easy thing to be humble and let go of the things we use to control in your lives. To give it to the spiritual God is not easy until you have done it several times, then it comes naturally. I have faith in that I will do the best job I can today and everyday that I ask the Lord to help me in my work and life. God knows what is going to happen to me today already , it is how I deal with this faith is what determines the outcome of my day. I can walk with God by my side or not. It is up to me, however the control is in God's hands as I go out and stay sober and try to contribute to life and my work in life.

To have a spiritual awakening y…

Dear God," Sorry To Disturb You Now" But,

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Do you feel like you are disturbing God . I do at times, and hope I am not getting in his way. I pray every day for him to watch over the world and me. I am selfish by the way. I try not to be , but when it comes to praying I am. I wish for my whole family to be safe and free from evil or darkness. Darkness, is evil when it rears its ugly head. We have all experienced it, yet to ask for it to go away, it does. You only have to ask God remove the evils from your life and fill yourself full of goodness. That is what I pray for as well. I am a fanatic that prayer in the morning will help you through the day. I seldom pray during the day unless I am  in a complicated situation with work, then small prayer will take care of my issue or give me an alternative answer to my problem.

It's all good to give and receive this Christmas, however there are some that do not have much. It is hard to tell which people need help or which will take advantage of you. I guess you just pray about it and …

Monday and Being Humble

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To be humble, what does this exactly mean? I think I know a little bit about this. Correct me if I am wrong. I am looking for another job , and there are plenty of fast food places to work at. They pay good money , because no one wants to work there. When I say good money , I mean about 14 to 16 dollars and hour. I am having trouble getting a job in IT or any computer related field. SO I was thinking , why not do fast food? I never thought this would be my destiny nor do I want this. The money is there though. I am not qualified for most jobs in my area in oil and gas. I never have worked in a restaurant atmosphere, and don't desire this. I would think this a humbling experience, and I do not want to do this. I may have to though, if nothing alse comes my way.

Why, oh lord does it have to be this way? I have so much experience in other areas, and I would rather move away from here than work in fast food. Maybe that is a idea? I am confused as to what to do, so I pray about this and…

William James and Sobriety

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William James was a was an American philosopher and psychologistwho had trained as a physician. He lived in the late 1800s to 1910. He also was the first person to start a Psychology class in America. He is mentioned in Bill W.'s video I saw on an AA site on the Internet. Bill W. said after reading "The Varieties of Religious Experiences" by William James he had a spiritual awakening. He had no desire after this episode to take another drink.

Interested as I am about this subject, Alcoholism, I decided to buy this book and wow, it is over my head. William is a Philosopher that blows me away with his words in this book. It is over 400 pages on religious beliefs and material concerning religion as a whole and spiritual beliefs that manifest itself. It is hard reading to a guy like myself.

After doing some research and putting down this book. I find out how brilliant this man is, or was and how he added to oour society of AA and the world at large. These are a few quotes f…

Selective Reasoning with a Sober Human

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How Long Should You Take To Work The 12 Steps

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The twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous are meant to help you stay sober. The faster you work these twelve steps the chances of having a relapse dwindles.Yes, work these within a month if possible , then start working with other alcoholics to help them get sober, this is a plan of action. A plan that needs no hesitation. You will find those of us t
hat say you should work step 4 for a few months, that's crap. You can work this step in a few days if not in a couple of days. AA has been known in the past for making newcomers go through hell in these simple steps. No more, as Chris Raymer suggest , take these steps and work them with a sponsor as quickly as possible. You will need to do this in order to not have a relapse of alcoholism.

I'm guilty of not doing this, as of today I am going into warp speed and working through my fourth step and onward, I will meet with my sponsor as soon as possible and go  over my 4th and 5th step. I have heard this over and over again and I need …