Saturday, December 31, 2016

The new Year 2017 Sober Living and Other Such Things

2016 was just another year for life to move forward. I had my ups and downs in 2016. I cannot say it was my best year nor can I say it was my worse year. I can say this much for 2016, that my family was very supportive of my sobriety more each year as I keep growing in sobriety. That is a great thing for Chris this last year. I have also grown up as a preson and made many mistakes and many mistakes were learned so I don't do them again. Sobriety is a growing lifestyle and the more involved one gets with the AA program and the people that are in AA the more you will grow as a person. I am living proof of this. Sure I sometimes do not want to go to meetings and yes I don't go some days, but it is when I go and learn from each time that I go what I missed from not showing up for the missed meetings. My group is small so we all know most every ones story, but there is a book to be made about the living aspects of each one's lives. We are there in fact to live sober and deal with crisis and learn how to react . That is what AA should be about is the newcomer who knows not which way to go in this new life of sobriety. We are there to give guidance , and help them, if they don't want it we don't force it as they sometimes come back for good to the meetings.

There is no quick conclusion to staying sober, just not taking the drink is most important. If you can conquer that aspect of the program then you are ready to grow. Once you start living the spiritual life then your whole world will turn around, and many good things will happen to your life. I know because I was homeless a few times and when I went to AA and did not like feeling dirty I was not pushed away but greeted to stay on with the group, that was many years ago, but it could happen with just one drink. So 2017 is here and we are all growing up in our bodies and our minds and who knows what is around the corner for us to help for our own sake of sobriety. Thuis should be the year you help one person at least . If all the readers from this blog just helped one alcoholic that would be over 30000 alcoholics that were justified as being exposed to the sober non drinker. Many AA groups grow upon the Holidays. I have to admit it is a hard time for myself, but I made it one more year, and this is my ninth year of sobriety I am going on. Good Luck and may God be with you today. Chris Hyer 2017

Saturday, December 17, 2016

Christmas and The Sober Individual

Christmas 2016 is almost here on the calendar. I can feel the mood in the people on the streets and in the stores. People buying what will probably be a return, and people driving crazy all over town , trying to get where they want in as little time it takes. Yes, to me this is Christmas madness, but it happens every sober year I have been around. That would be eight years of sobriety, and suring these last eight years, Christmas has been dfferent for myself. I usually end up having lunch with my mother and her husband and then go home like another day.
They say in AA that we should not isolate ourselves, but I do tend to do this quite often. I don't know what to do at times of joy and Holidays, except for to be closer with my family. They are all spread out over the USA, and rarely do we ever get together , unless there is a funeral. Thank God, no funerals this year, nor have we had one in my family so I assuming that people will show up for funerals. Gone are the days of handing out Christmas presents to children, however good gestures in helping out mankind have taken place with me. I have had a few extra dollars and I have given them to those in AA whom are in a bad spot, why? because I was one of them at one point in my life. That , now is the true meaning of Christmas and giving a hand out is a secret affair, and to be honest it makes me feel no different. I know the person is grateful , and I don't kow where that money may go to, I just trust in God and my judgement that it will go to something useful for that individual.

I was raised in a normal house hold, where we all gathered for Christmas and open toys up from packages and my dad getting pissed cause a toy would have to be put together. I guess you could say that was fun. We waited for Santa Claus when we were little and now at age 53 we are Santa Claus helpers. However it is just another day to me, as all days are to myself. If I make too big of deal of everyday then I get nervous and agitated. I have learned how to sit and read a book when times are isolating and to be comfortable doing this activity. I always want to buy something but I don't act on it.

I have even thought about taking a vacation to Vegas this year, but I chicken out cause I dont want to go by myself, and spend alll my money.Being sober over Christmas is a slight difficulty but , it is not that I think about drinking, it is just the normal thing I use to do during the season with my old school mates and brother. However we use to get high a lot because we had so much time to spend , and now I don't go to bars so that time is isolating time or AA time. Well, Merry Christmas to all whom read this article, and keep sober during the holidays , if you can , and if you can't God bless You!! Chris Hyer

Sunday, December 4, 2016

December AA Party and More music

I like to think of myself as a musician, and I think I am pretty versatile, here is my website where I keep some good music and some not so good music  https://soundcloud.com/christopher-hyer Go there and rate the songs if you don't mind.

My 12 step AA group had a glorious meeting last night . It was our December Christmas party with food catered by Odessa, Texas Country Club. You can't get much better than that and for a group of about 12 souls who usually go to these AA meetings, we had a crowd of well over a 100 people come to the PDAP place where we held this Christmas Party. The speaker was fantastic from SanAngelo, Texas. His name was Jim , I believe, and his son had just passed away that morning from Heroin overdose , which was very sad. However, like this man said, we have no control over addiction and the people who are addicted. His son celebrated his one year birthday at an AA club in San Angelo, then went out and celebrated with some Heroin, and it was his last celebration. It goes to show we are just one drug or drink away from losing our life. This addiction stuff is deadly and it needs to be taken seriously. Hollywood glamorizes the smoking of Pot and other drugs such as drinking, but hardly focuses on the families that have to deal with the true addict. God bless this man who came to speak as he did not have to come with his loss of his son the same day, but in reality it was probably good therapy to some and speak at a meeting then be at home and mourn your child's death. Sucha tragedy to be had, I cannot even think of this being me in his situation. The meeting was upbeat, however, and it was possibly the best I have been to.

God bless you all out there in cyberland who read this blog, and like I said this is just a journal of mine I keep to look back someday to see how far I have come. Stay clean and enjoy this thing we call life or get help and start enjoying life without drugs and alcohol. It can be done.

Saturday, December 3, 2016

Christmas is Almost Here How Do you feel about this?

Sobriety is a wonderful feeling in the morning , waking up to no headaches, and no remorse for what you may have done the night before. Well, Christmas is upon us in a few weeks, and I beg of you not to let that interfere with your sobriety. It can be easy to slip into old habits of drinking and smoking dope. The reason is that you might be going home to family and friends that do these things and they might expect you to do them with you. Run as fast as you can from this place. Find a hotel room and find a meeting if this is a strong connection to you starting back your old ways. I have had to do this once, and I am glad, and my family understood, and I still had the best Christmas ever.

I am like a little boy when Christmas comes around, there is a spiritual feeling I get in my stomach, and the only bummer is on Christmas day , I usually don't have a tree  and there are no presents, as I am 53 and my family lives in so many cities, that I end up with myself going for Christmas Lunch with my mother and her husband. We do exchange gifts but it is just not the same. Then after we eat , I go home to an empty house. SO my Christmas last for about an hour and maybe two hours. That is called growing older I guess. I still look forward to this day and dress up for lunch and try to make something out of this day. There is no reason to drink about it, because imagine what that would do? Fro me it would ruin my life. So take it easy and enjoy what relatives you may have and give thanks to God that you are alive one more year to celebrate Jesus Christ's Birthday!! That in itself should be enough for Christmas. Chris Hyer

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Thanksgiving and What it Means To Sober Alcoholics

Thanksgiving is a time spent with family to get together and enjoy each others company. My family is split , so it usually means having to drive to two towns and celebrating with my Mother and my Father. This is difficult and I spend most fo the day going between homes than I do actually staying there and relaxing. My family is always on the go , so relaxing is something that rarely happens for me, as I am always on my toes trying to pleasure whom I am with.
As an alcoholic , there is seldom any drinking going on at either house for fear that I might want to indulge, this has been going on for years. I really don't pay much attention to this but when I leave they pop open the liquor at my fathers house, SO am I in the way? I don't care really they should not invite me if they did not want me to come. Putting up the liquor is ridiculous as I have no desire to drink it any way. People do not understand an alcoholic can got o the store at anytime and buy the drink of their choice in the morning , afternoon or late at night. Just be cause it is a holiday does not mean I am going to drink or not drink. Relatives are only trying to help, I understand, but in a way, they hinder the relationship. Let them be what they are, and if stuck ina situation where liquor is being a part of Thanksgiving and it gets in your mind, just leave and make a excuse.

SO enjoy your family as we all need them in our lives, do not cause a problem at these gatherings and leave if you decide it is time. It is only one day and you have 364 other days to work with in your sobriety. Personally , I don't think of the Holidays as much anymore, and every holiday is not a drinking day, it was everyday when I was drinking some eight years ago.

So go out and eat with your family if you have one, if not find one at a free meal place and help out. That is doing 12 step work even if everybody is sober, you are helping others who cannot help themselves. I might as well do some volunteer
work myself at Thanksgiving, it would give me an excuse to get out of traveling to please everybody in my family. Chris Hyer


Monday, November 14, 2016

Life Goes On, Stay Sober and Peace will Come

I have hit a few ruff spots lately and if I was not sober right now, I don't think I would be handling them very well. How do you handle issues that come up where you have no control? You give it up to God. That is one lesson I have learned in AA. It is a good lesson because life goes on with or without my living body. This is true for most of us, if we were to die, the traffic would not stand still, well maybe for the funeral, but nothing would be said about me that would matter. I chose my direction in life when I was in my teens and some were smart. However now that I am in my fifties, I wish I would of made changes that would be a little bit more positive in my life today.

I have changed for the better since I have sobered up and I care for people that I use to not care about. It use to be all about myself that I was concerned with. Selfishness, and I find that I fall into this on some days even being sober. Life goes on, regardless of my mistakes I make now , but hopefully these mistakes will be learned by myself and cease to happen over and over again. Living in a sober world is not easy at times, we cannot breeze through it , or can we? Faith without works is death, so I would rather live in the now then worry about things that will change as time goes on and moves forward. I am on one of those days where I am confused about my life. I wish some things were better, and then I am blessed with the things that I have going for me . Confusion is casued when i don't attend AA meetings, and that is one thing I have not done for a week, so it is possibly time to get off my ass and go to a meeting or talk to a sponsor. These tools we have are valuable. Have a great day. Chris Hyer

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Family and Sobriety

My brother who lives in California came for a visit to see my parents and myself over the last few days. He was proud of how my life seemed to be going. He and I were drinking buddies and pot smoking friends as well as brothers. He is older and wiser than I was growing up. He knew when to quit and his little brother just kept drinking and smoking all day long. He is a Doctor and I am a struggling job chaser. If I could change one thing it would be that I would of finished up college, then I might not be chasing jobs on a yearly basis. I am never satisfied I figure. He has been to Paris and Austin and now California with the same corporation for over 30 years. I envy people like this now, and never thought about what I did, doing alcohol and stuff would creep up on myself and put me years behind everyone I loved, but there are possibilities that one day I will be proud of what I do for a living and more happy with my living situation and where I live. I am happy with my progress , but this is a disease that I have and I have a few mental issues, and I live the best God will let me live. Therfor I am not 100% dissapoited with my life, but a little bit.

I did like the fact that my brother is proud of my sobriety and he said he would of killed me if I did not sober up. I have to admit I was pretty bad to my parents when drinking and bad to him, stealing his money for drugs and drinking and all the hell I put everyone through. However the program of AA has taught me not to live in the past but look forward to the future, and that is how I try to live my life on a daily basis. It has been good my last 8 years of sobriety and I am a little more quite and a Introvert, but that is just me. I can change some of the things and some I cannot , as the story goes with most recovering alcoholics. Maybe a few of you can understand where I am coming from.

Donanld Trump , now President is a good thing for our country we hope. I hope one day we can unite as one party and just get along as Americans not separated by two parties but that might be impossible. A new President who has to live up to what he has said might make a difference to everyone in the world and I hope it helps everyone. Anyway have a good day and put a smile on your face, You are alive! Chris Hyer

Sunday, November 6, 2016

Proof that Sobriety is a Beautiful Idea to Achieve

My spnosor sent the following message to my email as he always shares very interesting things to me. I belive it is God placing two people who are recovered alcoholics together with the same thinking in mind . Sobriety is such a beautiful idea to conceive, if not sober today, I would not of found this as beautiful as I did this morning . I hope you enjoy this.

Wyman Meinzer, the Texas State Photographer, used to live in the old jail in Benjamin, TX. The photo of the coiled rattlesnake appeared on the cover of a wildlife magazine in the 80's. He said there were times he crawled a long way on his belly to get a good shot of a wild animal.

The music is by Doug Smith. Doug is from Petersburg, Texas and lives south of town. Doug plays by ear- He cannot read music, but has many CDs. A pickup accident left Doug paralyzed and he does not play anymore.

Most of the pictures were taken in the rolling plains (cap rock to Seymour, the Fork, 6666, and Waggoner Ranches). There are some scenes in Palo Duro Canyon.

Please take a moment to watch this....I don't know if I've ever come across such a skillful combination of music and amazing animal and landscape photography. The changes in the tempo perfectly compliment the scenery.

This is simply a beautiful portrayal of the unique part of our continent.


God Bless Chris Hyer 11/6/2016

Friday, October 28, 2016

Phone Interviews For the Recovering Alcoholic

It would seem as I get older and look for jobs that a phone interview for most people looking for work is normal.Where have the days of dressing nice and Resume in hand gone to? I remember having to drive quite a bit to go fill out an application , and I have to admit that I like the online idea of being hired. You fill out an application online, and everyone knows you are looking for jobs, some how? However , this is how I tend to get hired on to work for someone anymore. Nothing on the Internet is sacred. When I talk about my alcoholism that i went through , I am putting myself out there in never , never land and anyone can read about it. It does not bother me in the least as a alcoholic is suppose to help other alcoholics and the Internet makes this posible, even if you don't want people to find out about it.

It is like searching for a job, I was called from all over the USA this week and told about jobs in my little city of Midland , Texas. How did they know I was looking for work? Well, I know enough about computers that the cookies that are put into your browser, will stay up to 90 days and they sell information about what your looking at on the Internet and what your trying to do on the Internet. There is no secret to anything anymore.

I grew up as a "Baby Boomer", age group is what socialogist call my age, and lucky enough I am pretty savy about how to work the Internet and work on computers for that fact. Cell phones and andything that is connected to the Internet is pretty easy for me to understand. Hell, when I was drunk I use to try hacking sites and stuff and I got myself in trouble a few times. I'm not much into trying to hack anything at all cause big brother is watching and I really don't care about the inner world of the dark side of the Internet. Alcoholics are pretty smart individuals and I bet if you are reading this, you would agree with me on this statement. I drank because I was too smart and I celebrated my clever ideas and then I would get sick. Of course it took a while to take the cure, of not drinking, and then realizing how intelligent I really was back in my drinking days, I was also addicted to drinking to prove how smart I was and you were not. Vicious circle they call this attitude. It is a disease, they say and It is a mental illness. Well, it is what it was and I am glad today I don't have to drink. Have a good day. Chris Hyer

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Weight Loss With Sobriety, This is what I Did!!!

Hi , my name is Chris and I am a alcoholic that has recovered. I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes only 3-4 weeks ago. I am a 53 yr old male , that had let hamburgers and french fries rule my life. In fact anything I could get my hands on to eat and drink was making me fatter as the days went on. I really did not care until I was diagnosed with Diabetes. I have known many friends with Diabetes and thought not much about this disorder, but I was told I needed to lose weight by my Doctor.

That very day, I found a gym and threw out my chocolate cookie dough ice cream and all the junk food in my refrigerator and changed my life again. This is what I do on a daily basis and have lost 17 lbs in 3-4 weeks : This is not a diet plan I say works for every one but it does for me, so I thought as a fellow alcoholic I would share this simple plan that has made me lighter and more fulfilled as I continue to lose weight.

The first thing I did was enroll in a gym at 24.99 a month for 24 hr access. All I wanted to do was lose weight not gain muscles. I walk on the treadmill for 10 min. now and beef this up at least two minutes everyday. I also ride a bike inside and do this for 15 min. a day and beef this up as I feel like it, so in all I spend about 20 min to 25 min. in the gym. Then I drink a lot of water. Water every day in the morning at noon and at night, I over dose on water.

Breakfast , I eat Greek low-fat Yogurt and a Banana and then at lunch I drink a Boost chocolate drink and eat Almonds to fill me up. At night I have a Pork chop and Spinach with dressing or some type of fish like shrimp and vegetables and lots of fruit. I eat fruit all day long. I also eat Jerky when I get a craving and it fulfills me and I am satisfied . These are just different habits I have made in my life and I see the results each day as I weigh myself.

Changes have to happen when you want results from a job, or relationship or losing weight. Alcoholics have to change to cut out drinking and accept the way they live which is a different way in which they lived when they drank. Losing weight or having to change is quite normal for the recovering alcoholic because our lives change on a continuous circle of years.

If it is a positive change you will reap the rewards, I am figuring this out. Negative thinking has to go out the door with alcoholics and replaced with positive thinking when we want to accomplish our personal goals. Is this selfish, yes it can be , to make yourself a better person. That is why staying sober is so important to our everyday living and saying prayers to God to help us have the courage to change our ways for the better. I hope this might help someone, but like I say all the time this is my journal and I am just keeping track of my changes. Have a Great Day! Chris Hyer

Friday, October 21, 2016

Changes In Life with Sobriety

My life keeps foinf every day. Sometimes the changes are good and other times the changes are not that god. The 2 Steps of AA help me deal with change. I give this up to God. I have no other choice. I do my work in the program and he does his. If we really believe in God then changes work out pretty good. However they may not work out like we want them . I recently have been offered a couple of jobs then they were taken back. I never have experienced that type of change. I drive for Uber at times to make extra money and I like meeting other people who may not be as fortunate as I am in my life. It matters no how much money one has , but their character, is what is interesting. Uber is a humbling experience in Midland as most wealthy Oil and Gas business men use the service cause it is cheap for them and reliable. I have written a couple of children's books and put them on Amazon , and they are going nowhere, but the effort I put into these were not sufficient. Therefor you get what you put out.

I recently found out I had Diabetes and I have changed my lifestyle again. I read up on what foods I need to eat and went and bought these, and they are not so bad. I want to live, and I want to be healthy, so I do what I can to progress in my life. It took me a while to get my insurance to acept my medication for Diabetes which is ridiculous. I needed prior authorization before the Insurance would give me a break on this medication. It took me 2 weeks of fighting the Dr office, Pharmacy and Blue Cross before I got the price of a medication from 1300.00 to 10.00 but I did get it taken care of. God gives us tools to work with and when I mean fight, I don't mean that I was angry, I just had to follow a outline of what the Insurance was wanting, but it became a full time job. Ridiculous as it was , it saved me and my life is back to normal. Have a good day and please comment if you like and I will post thee. Have a Good Day! Chris Hyer

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

God Sometimes will Throw a Curve Ball

Good morning world, and it is  a beautiful day on Tuesday 10/4/2016. God throws me a curve ball at times and I don't know why? I do not question God as to why he does what he does for me. However , I get dissapoited at times. This job I have been hired for by a temporary agency, told me yesterday that it was no longer available. After waiting for the Territory manager for two weeks to start the job suddenly was not there for me. I had passed the background checks and the drug test and was offered the job but a start date was all I was suppose to be waiting for, and wham , no job. I was furious , but not surprised. I was calm and collective and just said , well God has something in store for me.
 In the meantime I was offered a interview as a sales rep for a company that I am not too sure sbout , if I am the right fit. However I leave this up to God to decide, so I am dressed for success the morning and ready to interview for this job today.

God has all this power and I have to follow what he throws at me. It could be for me to hone into my interview skills or to get a new job, I am not sure where this will lead me to, but I don't give in or up . I have learned this from AA and that is why I cannot stress the importance of going to these AA meetings if you are a recovering alcoholic, they can be very positive on your direction in life in general. You can use these 12 steps of AA to get somewhere in life and let go and let God work his miracles. His miracles for me are enormous, and unsuspecting at most times, and very glorious.

I have made it a little over eight years and God has held my hand and taken me places I woul not of known , that I was cabable of doing and so the chapter in my life keeps running with the clock and God's words to me are good. Have a blessed Day. Chris Hyer

PS. On a positive note a church I really love in Corpus Christy , Texas has ask me to help with thier online program, My friend Harry would be so happy that I volunteered for this position. I hope that I get this as well. Please go to http://chrchunltd.churchonline.org/ and check out Pastor Bill. Very good man with a plan for living and a plan for everyone.

Friday, September 30, 2016

Sobriety and What I have done in The last 4 weeks

I wanted to document for my own reasons what I have done in the last 4 weeks since I am waiting to start my new position with a new company. Like I said before this is for me , and anyone that wants to read this sobriety blog is more than welcome. This is a journal for me so I can look back and see my progress.
I changed jobs due to the craziness of my boss, and got a new job the next day, however the wait for the new job has been over three weeks for the start date, so I have had time to clean out my closet so to speak.
I have been diagnosed with Diabetes from my Doctor and decided it was time to start a weight training program and I have been going every day since I was diagnosed, I have lost 5 lbs in two weeks. I have changed what I eat in calories for the last three weeks , and have stuck with this up until the present. This has probably helped me lose the weight as I only work out 30 min. each day at the gym. I have tried to quit dipping snuff for only the last two days using vaping. I never have tried vaping but I am on the second day of this and I woke up not desiring a dip of snuff, which is unusual because for over 30 years I have dipped snuff and only quit one time , and it was really tough. Vaping seems like I am doing something wrong , but it is only nicotine I am replacing and I am not smoking , so we will see how this goes in the future. I am proud to say I did not reach out for the snuff this morning but to my vape machine in order to fulfill my need, so I see this as a plus. I have new teeth being put in and I don't want to lose them from dipping snuff.

I am a musician that never really knew the notes on the guitar or the scales , and I have studied this for 3 weeks and now able to play much smoother and sound ten times better than I was. I am doing this every day. I discovered coloring books for adults and have set time eeveryday to work on these as it calms my nerves and I enjoy seeing the colors brighten up the book. I write in this blog almost every other day and discuss what I am doing and hopefully it will help someone else get some ideas on life and sobriety. I go to AA every day to full fill my life and my sobriety. I also read about God through Rick Warren's book, and have gained some more insight about what God wants for us.

I have accomplished quite a bit in the last 3-4 weeks , but I am ready for my new job to start and I am suppose to hear pretty soon that my start date is about to happen.Staying busing and not having idle hands has helped me with the last few weeks of waiting to start this new position..I hope all who read this will comment on how their lives are progrsseing. God Bless Chris Hyer

Sunday, September 25, 2016

Changing Your Sobriety With Changing Yourself

It is Sunday 9/25/2016 and I woke up early as usual and in my mind, I knew that working out at the Gym this morning was going to start my day. I get confused do I want to take a shower and then sweat it out or get sweaty then take a shower. So many things run through my head on something this simple. Yes, I look forward to going to the gym now. I have only been there three days now and I feel really good about what I am doing for my body. I even feel a little bit of tightness in my stomach as if I am gaining  strength. I have not worked out in over 30 years, so this little feat of me going to the gym and working out is a new change in my sobriety and it is a good change. WHen you better yourself , it seems to pay off by making me feel like I have accomplished something that God wants in my life. When my new job starts , I am going to have to figure out how I am going to work in the workouts as I am committed to losing weight, mostly.

I am a big guy anyway and that is cool, but I don't want the belly of a big guy. So I mostly run and ride the cycle in the gym. I burn calories and two weeks ago I started eating right. I cheat on eating , a bit but I have cut back on chocolates and other junk that I know has caused me to gain so much weight. The good thing about change and sobriety is that I am not the only one trying to change. At first I did not want to go to the gym cause I have a phobia about all these buff men working out and her comes fatty, then I just made my mind up and went and realized I was smaller than most in the gym,. I psyche myself out at times and think I am the only one. I am wrong, as the re are several thousands of alcoholics that I am sure are working the program or at least trying to work it. That is what change is , it is trying and not talking yourself out of this change in which sobriety is all about is change for the better. Cod Bless. Chris Hyer

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Weight Loss With Sobriety

I went to a Dr. and got on the scales and realized that I weighed too much. I could tell I had gained some weight and knew I had. I have a sweet tooth and I also like chips and chocolate, so I was doomed when I went there and weighed in. The Doctor did not say I needed to lose weight but I know I did, so last week I started buying smart foods, is what I will call them. I bought only lettuce and weight watchers dinners and have cut cokes down to one a day and drink a lot of water. When I stopped drinking , I was prety fine with my weight, cause I did not eat much when I drank alcoholl.Now , that I have been sober for over eight years I have built a few bad habits and one was eating too much or while I was on the road , getting chocolate. I have lost 4 lbs since last Monday and I can feel the weight coming off. It is a good , healthy feeling to lose the weight. I plan on staying on this so called low calorie diet for as long as I can stan it. I feel one night or day of the week I will eat anything I want for dinner or lunch, so not to deprive myself. lol

One staep at a time is what we say in AA , but it applies to eating and drinking colos also. Take baby steps and once you get into the groove try to stay into eating fruits and veggies and you should notice a few pounds coming off also. The feeling is terrific to get ont he scales and notice a little loss, and loss is good. Maybe you have neglected this also and this note will help you. Stick to it for 90 days and see the results. Have a Blessed Day . CHris Hyer

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Life in Sobriety is a Merry Go Round

It would seem some day are better than others. I don't know why this is or if it's just the way our brains behave
. For me, life can be a merry go round type ride, some days I am motivated and singing and joyfully ready and others I am tired and sick of all the negative things I hear on the news. You would think there would be a positive news station , where they only talked about was positive information on our government, society, and children. However , there is no such news agency I am aware of to get up joyfully and listen to all the good that is happening in my life. God grant me the serenity , I guess is where this has all come down to living in the now, good and bad.

But this is a new day ,  a sober day for most of us, hopefully and if not your probably going , damn I wish this guy would shut up. I am very positive most of the time, but during the day my mood can change as I wait for my new job and my background check to clear. I just got word that all this company needs is my drug test results, well hell I submitted these last Tuesday, so are they lost? Shit, get your act together, and go ahead and find these results so I can go to work. Those people out in our community that have served jail time must have a hell of a wait to get past these background checks but my background is spotless. I thank God for not having to go to jail, and all the other miserable things that could of happen when I was drinking. I tend to forget how good I have it made in this life.
God prevails and I think I will go to the park and read a book for a few hours then color in my book,lol. God Bless Chris Hyer.

Monday, September 19, 2016

Sobriety and Mindfulness?

I have been going to Barnes and Nobles almost every day to read and I came across the Best Sellers on the table and they were coloring books? Confused and out of date I must be , but they are also on the top list of wanted books on the New York Times. So of course, I went and bought a Adult coloring book and crayon pencils for about 40.00USD. Why? well I don't know why except I thought , you know this might be a way of keeping my anxiety down. When I was a child my parents bought me crayons and coloring books and I was not very good at doing this as I was a action type kid that liked to play Baseball and sports. However being an adult now, and coloring these books is a different meaning. My mother use to buy these books for the kids to keep them quite and calm, so I suppose that is the Mindfulness that belongs to these books for adults.
All these new words in the new world, lol, but I have to say this, coloring these books are no small feet, and they do help pass time, instead of watching TV. I also get a sigh of relief in coloring a black and white confused diagram in this book. Hey, they look pretty with color, and it is a great time to not think about anything for a short period of time.

So , I thought it was stupid at first, but in thinking about these coloring books, it is great for shaky hands and for focusing on what you are doing. So , I can't rule out the posiblility that they may be a good form of therapy for some of us. Let's put it this way , the first copy of one coloring book sold over 1 million copies when it came out for adults , so were either really stresed or bored to death. I can't really put my thumb on it. I get a little bit of everything, anxious,stressed, mad, and even calm now thanks to the my coloring book.Sobriety is many things to a alcoholic who was out of it for nearly 30 years, so this coloring book is kind of a cool idea for meditation and watching the page come alive. Give it a chot. God Bless. Chris Hyer

Thursday, September 15, 2016

Why is AA so Important to Keep Sobriety

AA is a group of recovered or recovering alcoholics that meet usually on a daily basis or during the week at specific times. What we do in AA is talk about how to better our lives with the tools that we are given in AA. One tool is the use of the 12 Step Program which if followed in order can help one beat the use of alcohol and keep one sober for many months, and years. It is not a cult and is not a religious group. It is people who are looking for answers to thier questions that are usually found in th Big Book of AA that is a read for the purpose of staying sober and breaking down the 12 Step Program into a more understandable way for us former alcoholics.

Why is it a necessity to go to these groups? You make friends with some of these people in AA that may have drank for the same reasons you did. We share our experiences in these rooms and remember how insignificant they really were compared to our new life of sobriety.We change while we attend these meetings into citizens that people want to be around and do business with. It could be called a new awakening of of lives and even though most of us don't really see it , it is our families that usually see our positive changes and they tend to like the new face we have put on since going to these meetings and working the program steps. It's a spiritual congregation of love and understanding that binds most of these groups together.

There are a few that go back ut and drink some more and end up dead. These are terrible results from not staying with the program. Somehow , somewhere the program did not adhere to these people and since I have been going to AA , I do know if a few that have started drinking and ended up dead within a few days to a month. This is serious to keep attending or staying in touch with a Sponsor to keeping yourself sober and happy. Yes, it is not an easy program at times we all get tempted, but we who go to these meetings realize that it is up to us to stay sober and not someone else. You cannot blame another for your drinking addiction. Hopefully this provides a little bit of insight into what AA is and what it is not. Have a nice day.God Bless Chris Hyer

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Sobriety and Living with the Power of God

I live with the power of God every day. That does not mean every day is going to be perfect, and by far this is not true. It means for me to stay sober, I have to hand over a lot of what is on my mind to God.
So , just how does a person do this? Well, for me it takes asking a prayer for God to take a hold of the situation and guide me through it the best he can. Very simple step right? However, I doubt God at times but have all my faith in him to bring me out of myself and gain control over my life. This has been an ongoing process for the last 8 years, and it seems to work. I do not stress as much as when I try to run the show. When I let my higher power take over my day or moment, it usually turns out pretty good and I stay active in keeping my human body functioning doing the right thing in life.

I have been a musician for most of my life but have not perfected theory of music , so I am now working on this with my guitars. I feel that it will make me a better guitar player and more musically inclined to step out and play for people and let them enjoy the music I play. I have always played several instruments but never really stayed with just one. This time, I will take it one instrument at a time, just like the AA program, and master one at a time. This is now what I do in my spare time instead of watching TV and isolating myself from the world. It feels good to know I am progressing in my music and it brings joy and pain to my fingers as I practice for about 4- 5 hours a day while my paperwork is processed for my new position in work. This takes about two weeks I am told. There is nothing else I can think of to do. I am an
artist that oil paints and I have this to tackle also as I could be a better painter if I chose to learn more abut my art.

There are a lot of things God may put in your life that is just right in your home that you may want to be better at and this keeps your mind busy and occupied. I believe God wants us to be creative no matter what age we are. Have a Blessed Day..Chris Hyer

Monday, September 12, 2016

Sobriety Curve Balls In our Social Living

Its is Monday 9/12/2016 and a pretty day in Western Texas, I have almost 9 years of sobriety as of this time of year. I have just let go of one full- time job that has lasted almost a year. Why the curve ball has been thrown ? Well, the job was boring and not very interesting to myself. It Paid the bills but I have another job lined up that will do the same, pay the bills. God works in ways that I do not understand , nor or we suppose to understand why God works his miracles in the way he does with us. I have been wanting to leave this former company for months and when the opportunity came and I found another position in which I am interested , I changed like a normal person would.

Now that is not to say I am normal because to me a normal person is one who can drink normal and still hold a job and so the definition of normality is hard to be defined. I am normal in the fact that I pray to God , go to AA meetings and try to live the way God would want me to live. I am 53 and yes I am still stubborn in my ways. I am single with one child who is 24 and I am very proud to call him my son, and he loves me. These things I know because now, he can tell me and wants to be around me. We are not very close but close enough to understand that when I am sober he really takes a liking to me.A very fine young man that does not cuss, drink or smoke and works as a cashier for a grocery store in Midland, Texas. He has thrown me a curve ball in how he lives his life, very quite he is and loving and clean.That is all I can be thankful for is he does not have tattoos and not doing drugs and alcohol like his Daddy did. I am very blessed.

I am blessed also with a clear conscious mind that I am doing the right and legal things in my life and not having to look back to see if I have done wrong. That is a plus in sobriety is looking forward  and to the future no matter what age you may be. The Lord has my back all the time and he watches out for me , and when i feel I may be doing something wrong I feel it and retract. God either is or he is not, what is he to you. God Bless Chris Hyer 9/12/2016

Monday, August 29, 2016

God is a Driving Force in My Sobriety

What drives us to change and do better or worse. There is a power greater than myself in that drives my spirit up or down. Possibly the downward spiral of myself is from my own actions. I may not include God in everything that I do, while trying to keep in touch with God I lose touch. I have a spiritual connection with God and I have, to be honest, that I use this sometimes when things are rough and not when life is moving forward in my sobriety and just plain living. Living without a connection to God is self- imposed and it can be very easy to start playing God when you forget that you are not God. People say to me at times, have a Blessed Day! I think these people are more spiritual than I am because it comes so natural for these individuals to say this. I also find that when I am told this remark that I feel better about my day. I try to copy these people and say ,:Have a blessed Day", as I know what it feels to have a clerk at a convenience store say this to me, and when it feels good it must be good.

When it is right and feels good then it must be God working in my life. If I do something wrong and I question what I might be doing then I must be disobeying the spirit of God that resides in me. To stay sober one must believe in God to keep going through the day. I have to do this and I practice praying to my friend, " God" on an hourly basis. No one said this God thing would be easy , but at times it really can be to get yourself through the next hurdle of life. Have a great day Chris Hyer

Sunday, August 21, 2016

The Big Book and Sobriety

I don't make it a habit to read the Big Book of AA. I do read it in the mornings or evenings where I get bored. I usually see myself in some fashion or another in this book. This could be a present or past reflection on whom I have become as a sober individual. When reading the Big Book of AA , I find passages that are out of date. The meaning of some of the words can be quite confusing to me, so I look some of them up in a dictionary, and the word makes perfect sense to the context in which it is written. I find that reading the pages in the back of the book can be enlightening to myself, as when I go to AA meetings these back chapters are ignored.Most of the AA meetings are focused on the 12 steps of the book in the first 100 or so pages. This is good information and if lived with a spiritual connection do work for the alcoholic who is trying to understand what this whole book and program is about.

I also read the Bible on a daily basis and Rick Warren a Pastor out of California has a book called "The Spirit Driven Life", I believe that is the name of it. This book helps me to understand what God wants for me out of my relationship with him. I was hesitant to read a Pastor book , because of the church , but he has made the words make good sense to me in what my program is all about and that is a spiritual journey into God's life and how to please my God .

Years ago I could not care a less what these two books have to say. In sobriety, you need to believe in a spiritual life bigger than yourself  which can help you get over the first step in AA. How you do this can be confusing but in reality it just means you will give up drinking and or using for a power greater than yourself , the obsession will leave once you believe in this attitude. This sometimes will happen fast and other times it will be slow, I think it is how you believe in a power greater than you as to how fast this approach will transform your brain.The disease of alcoholics is really unfounded, it is a mental instability that causes most of us to drink until we pass out or otherwise get to the point in which we are comfortably numb. To stay sober  means that we will neglect alcohol and drugs and move on through the day and be as normal people do such as work and help others help themselves.

Helping others is key to living a spiritual life, but we first must focus on helping yourself get through the pain of so many years of self-abuse. This takes time and to each individual, this time also can be short to long term. You get what you put into your mind from reading and going to AA meetings and the people that you let yourself be around. I am amazed at the sober ones that have a boyfriend or girlfriend that still drinks and they are trying to stay in this sick relationship. Drinking is fine for those who do not abuse it. So I am not talking about the casual drinker , but the alcoholic who has to live with one whom is alcoholic , this must be a hard situation to cope with. I would have to get away from this person , or I could not of stayed sober for very long.

Well, it is Sunday 8/21/2016 amd I am still employed and paying bills, I go to the grocery store and run errands and do my paper work for work. I am a functioning recovered alcoholic. In the past I put off these things or they would not get done any of them. I seee my progression through these pages in my blog. I also see it and hear it from people in my AA program that say I have come a long way. That is pleasing but in reality I have a little more than 8 years of sobriety with about 20-30 years of drinking, and I am very glad that I do not crave anything like alcohol to make it through the day. I get bored and that just means I need to get busy. I call this idle hands syndrome. You have to be careful and not isolate yourself from the world and I know this at it's best. Have a great day and to feel God is to get knowledge about the spirit of God and I challenge you and myself to know more each day of our creator , so you can live one day at a time and live a whole new outlook on life. God Bles Christopher Hyer

Saturday, August 20, 2016

Saturday and Staying Sober

Saturday in the years of my drinking were days to re0couperate from Friday night highs and drinking. I would not wake up until noon or later and then go get food as I was hungry in which woke me up. It would be close to three or four in the afternoon before my head kicked in and I was truly awake. I am not sure how your Saturday was but for me it was quite and sleepy most of the day. Of course, I was preparing for Saturday night and what I was going to drink or smoke. If I was out of weed, I started to make phone calls to get some for the rest of the week. It was like a totally different lifestyle than it is now.
Eight years later in my present tense, I wake up about six AM and try to sleep in till 7 AM and then I let my puppy out the backdoor and let her do her stuff and fix breakfast and drink juice. That is my usual Saturday now. After breakfast, I look at my work phone to see if I have calls for the day I need to take care of , and then get ready to work them or if I don't I get ready for AA as I have a meeting at 10 AM I like to go to in Midland, Texas. I sometimes go grocery shopping in the morning but that habit has changed, and sometimes I just go and buy a few things cause I really just but what I can eat for a few days , but I buy a lot of sparling water. I like Swepps Sparkling water it is my beer for the day , and I like the fizz and taste of this drink. I have progressed to Gatorade also , for some odd reason, I like the taste.

So you now see the change of when I was using alcohol and drugs and to the now when I do not use these things. I really did not know the difference until I started writing this down on this blog. Maybe it is good to have a blog and write how your past was and what you are like now. It sure makes a difference in how far one has come to be sober and living with God. Yes, there is that God word again, he and I are best of friends on a daily basis. I have to have a higher power with me at all times. Call me co-dependent..lol However, it seems to work for me to have gone through these changes and end up not hung over and up and early like I am now. What a miracle once I read over what I just wrote. If you want what I have just take a few steps from AA and work them and then you become a better more productive human being, and you might help change someones life . I write this for me to loook back on and it is interesting to note that I have about 900 people that read this blog a month. So people are interested in how I live I guess. I hope it helps someone. Have a good Saturday, and God Bless. Christopher Hyer.

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Belief In a Higher Power For Social Sobriety

God, is a big spiritual relief for me. There are those that do not understand God, and I think that is God's intentions. He wants us to believe in a higher power that is stronger than yourself, therefore the word , God. I have for the last eight years have had a strong belief in God working wonders of miracles in my life. Like my previous post about Panic, God knows that I could have a problem with addiction with the medications but he knows what is up with my life at all times. So be it. I wake up in the early morning about 5 AM and begin to pray for the new day everyday, and this last during work and after work up until the evening. See , in my opinion, God wants to know how you feel about him and yourself on a daily basis. He wants us to rejoice in knowing him on a personal basis. Whether you want to call it a friendship, in which God is my best friend, or spirituality , God works so many miracles in my daily life, that I know no other person or thing could do for me. I am almost 9 years sober now, and it is the miracle of AA and my God spirituality that gets me through the good times and the rough times. This is just me, there are those of you who do not believe in God. I suggest you go outside and look at a leaf and wonder about the veins in which the leaf grows and how intricate the lines are, perfect. I don't think we are a mistake in this world, and yet to believe in something one cannot see is hard to explain until you have had situations that are miracles that only would be happen chance of going on in your life. For me , and my belief , I think every time something goes wrong a right seems to happen . It seems to follow a lesson from God that I either have done something he is not particular lily happy with and then I do something to help someone and I get this feeling that is good and wholesome. We all know when we sin. No one needs to tell us when we do something immoral or sinful. We all sin, but what I think God wants us to do is show to him and tell him we were wrong. It takes a spiritually guided look on life to do this particular action.

In the Big Book of AA there is a part that says either God is or he is not , what is your choice to be? I want to be on a winning team and God to me is a happy spirit and I am here for his entertainment, but he wants us all to succeed, maybe not get rich or have a Corvette, but whatever we can accomplish in our daily lives and give back to those who may not have what we have is the true trick to this God outlook. The feeling of helping a stranger out with groceries or helping a person with the door, is morally right and it shows we generally care about one another. That makes my God smile and it makes me smile when I know I have done something in my life that I make no money but provide just a little bit of help to those in need.

Of course, there are those who cut us off in traffic and we swear at them or shoot the finger, but if you are where I am at in my program you let it go and say:God Bles Them" I was taught that by a friend that has passed away. Everytime, something rude was done to this friend of mine he would say "God Bless Them "out loud. I use to really trip out to this , but it is like cussing but your not. Your asking for God's help in dealing with this person and your also praying that this person has a better day. It takes a strong person to admit a higher power such as God can help you. However, once you take a hold of prayer and really believe in God you will notice changes in your lifestyle, and they are good. This is a good reason to stay sober, to have a better relationship with God and yourself. It is selfish in a way but most who drink are very selfish people, and it stays with us . I really feel a need to write more on God, and I will throughout my life on this blog . As I said this is a journal for myself and you are welcome to read it. I am 53 now and plan to keep writing on this blog until the end of my time. God Bless Chris Hyer

Friday, August 5, 2016

Sobriety and Panic

I don't write very consistently but when I get a thought I usually have to write about it. Panic attacks are common in most people,, or anxiety. The higher the anxiety the more likely you will have a panic attack. I have had these off and on for all my life. Sobriety does not cause panic but an alcoholic drink surely calms panic down and anxiety,.So what do you do? I give it up to God plus I take medication for Panic attacks and prevention. There are a lot of people that would not agree with this action. When I first sobered up eight years ago, I was a full-blown agoraphobic, I would not leave the house or I would have massive panic attacks.This was horrible, I had this before I even started drinking at a very young age and I have seen hypnotherapist, and taken CBT therapy and many different medications over the years. You may be having the same issue as I have and are looking for answers and I really don't have them. You might take a chance and take medication , I would not take it lightly, however.

Panic medication can be addictive and I just might be addicted to my medication. I do know I take it as directed by a psychiatrist and my sponsor knows about this and God is aware of what I do. I do not think that it is a good idea, but there is no cure for anxiety that rages and ruins your life. I have sought after a cure for many years and the same old therapy is out there that does not work for me. I just thought I would throw this Panic idea out at you people and hopefully get some feedback. Thank You Chris Hyer

Sunday, July 31, 2016

Social Sobriety- Who I am and Will Become

This blog is for me as it is a journal through my life as a sober living man in Midland, Texas. I am 53 years old and grew up in Midland , Texas since age 8 . I have moved to several different cities around the country since then by myself, and have lived an adventurous and confusing life. This is not to say I am any different than most people my age as most will have moved at one point in thier lives and most will not drink themselves to complete oblivion like I use to . I sobered up many times since I was 18 years old but it was not until I was 45 did sobriety and treatment actually mean much to me. It took me getting so sick that I could barely walk, and talk. I started my sobriety in Kerrville , Texas at La Hacienda Treatment Center, One of the best programs in the USA. However It was not my first Rodeo , so to speak it has been my last . I have over eight years of continuous sobriety and I am grateful to AA and to God whom I talk to on a daily basis. He is my director for the day and the one I go to for problems and answers each and every morning and during the waking day. I also speak with Gos in the evening when I retire and ask for his blessings for many people including myself to make it through the night to face another day. This is how I live, I work a job and make my money and pay my bills on time. This is not how Chris use to be. I have come a long way to this point in my life and I am not looking to give up any time soon. In fact, I do not have another drunk left in me, I will surely die if I take another drink.

Christopher Hyer July 31 2016
I have a son who is 23 and loves me very much. I have a mother and a father that are getting up in age and soon God will throw more curve balls. I will hopefully have the knowledge to deal with whatever passes my way as he has been with me this last eight years by my side and many miracles have happened in my life. I have lived for a reason that in un- be known to myself. I have lived many different personalities in my life. The best one is the sober Chris, you ar reading right now. God bless you and have a good day. Christopher Hyer

Saturday, July 30, 2016

Sober up Today and Live for the Future

It's never too late to sober up from drugs or alcohol. If you are still breathing and I assume you are then you have the chance of being sober for today. If taken one step or moment at a time, you can be  free of alcohol and drug abuse if you really want to . You have to take this action, however, and one of the ways is to not buy the drug at all. Then the second thing you will have to do is tell your old friends that you have quit, like you might have told them a hundred times, but if honestly, you want the power of sobriety in your life. The friends will not longer be friends, cause they probably still drink or they are not the new crowd you want to be around anymore.

Yes, at times, changing your surroundings and people that you love is a necessity to keep sober. Stop blaming others for what you put in your stomach, cause it is a personal thing . You decided to inject alcohol and or drugs into your system, not anyone else. Like I have heard before when I was a baby I was not born with a beer in my hand. So step back and take the day off from those who want you to join them in an hour or so of alcoholic drinks, that is really all it takes. You might go through a little withdrawal and if it gets bad enough , go to the hospital and get help. That is step 1 of AA is admitting you have a problem and believe a power ( God, a Group of People, Whatever ) a power greater than yourself. I prefer to use God as he was easy to talk to and inside each and every one of us. There are those who do not believe in God and have a hard time with this belief, I suggest you get a AA Big Book from an AA group for free and read the first 48 pages. If by the end of this study you do not see yourself, then you may not have a problem with drinking or drugs.

I can't tell you what to do, but I can make suggestions, that have worked for me. You can go ahead and drink until you are so sick that you need a hopital to get help at. You could lose everything including your job and your self-respect then get help. I have done all of these and I still kept up my drinking. It took me wanting and I mean really wanting to quit something I truly liked.

Quit drinking for yourself is most important, or you will not stay sober. Some of us do not even have to go to AA to stay sober, I did not go for the first two years, but I wanted to be around others that were doing what I was doing and that was not drinking. I wondered what the hell these people did when they did not drink, and so I started going to AA and have made a bunch of new friends , and they are true friends that I can count on. It is a miracle and many miracles do happen when you stop drining and start living. It is not easy , at all, but after a while the obsession to even take the first drink goes away if you follow the program. Good luck and God Bless. Christopher Hyer

Monday, July 25, 2016

Changes in your Sober Thinking and Perception

When I was drinking my thinking was not right. I thought it was on the dot with what I was doing at the time. In reality , no one who is drinking is thinking right. Alcohol seems to distort what we think and , in myself, I thought all was ok and that I was this guy that could take on everything impossible.
Now that I am eight years sober, I realize that my drinking of water and cokes that I am no super power. I am just myself, but I do have images of a perception that good things will continue to happen if I stay sober. I know for over eight years that I wake up on time and make it to work and do the things I am supposed to do in real life. I have dreams of course of doing something else always. However, they are bigger and better things in my life. If only I stay sober one more day it will get better. Pretty simple self-persuasion I believe. Every day is not great but every day is unusual, in many ways.

I have productive days and it is not just work , it could be as simple as going to the post office when I don't really want to or grocery store . I know I need to get things done and they get done. When I was drinking I would think of these things but put them off till the next day or the next week. Just like my bills , I pay them on time now and have been for over eight years. I use to wait till I got a late notice before I made a payment. I had fees and it just made me madder when in my drinking years. I made a lot of little foolish mistakes,. It's funny cause I watch a lot of movies at night and most of them have someone drinking or smoking pot and they end up in bed with someone that they should not be with or missing work , that is the reality to just plain drinking. Drinking alcohol is really childish but a necessity for an alcoholic. Who are you today? Christopher Hyer

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Life is Complicated Drunk , When Sober Life Changes

Hello, and welcome to my personal journal. I was thinking this evening how complicated life is. However, it really does not have to be. I was watching a movie and it was disturbing , so I walked outside and watched my Labrador Retriever enjoy her back yard, and even myself.

When I was drinking I was always in the moment, and yes I remember seeing some pretty things that God gives us all, like the Ocean, beaches and fish where I use to live on N Padre Island, Texas. It was beautiful most of the time. I was high most of the time also. At night I was always high and beginning my drinking for the night. Therefor I did not do much after about 7 or 8 PM at night except for the photographs of surfing I use to take on a daily basis on the island. If there was no surf I would drive down the coast to take pictures of the birds, and Pelicans that were so spiritual to me and my friend Harry. I will discussm,"Harry" in another part of my journal. He was a big influence to me even during my drinking and pot smoking times over eight years ago. He is dead now , but I will never forget what he taught me about the bible and God. He was a gentle man and a really cool person that I could relate to and I deeply miss him, however like he said to me. You and I are partners in Christ, and I agreed and still agree . He is with me through the day and the night.

Back to why I wrote tonight , I was sitting there watching my puppy just run and hop like a bunny around the yard and sat there in my lawn chair and started looking at the trees and how green the leaves were, and my roses that I don't too good of care of, and they were blooming up a storm. God , I thought is speaking to me and showing me the beauty of life, in a new concept, that I am understanding. The relaxing warm air blew in my face and my puppy was running through the sprinkler system and playing with the water,. She was showing off to me how beautiful the backyard of my house really is and spiritually I was really enjoying the peace from all this. I have not been very stressed out lately , but I do get lonely, but that is my own choice.

Anyway it is good to be sober tonight and July 4th was just another day for me and my puppy. We Bbq a few hamburgers so it would feel like a holiday and I watched a lot of movies, which I do when I have nothing else to do. I also read about Anxieties and how to deal with them, as I am very much the Panic Disorder type of person. I am being treated for Panic and I am looking for other ways in which to cope with my panic. If you have this you know how it feels to not have some type of meditation or medication to go through life with ease. That is another story. So that is wbout it for this July 5th. I have to wake up early and start my work day off, and the good thing is I am not stressed . Pray my prayers and go to bed. Life is just a merry go round at times. I am learning how to love life. Christopher Hyer

Saturday, June 25, 2016

Christopher from Social Sobriety

Hello, and welcome to my blog, I am Christopher and the picture is me and my baby girl, Abbey. We live together in Midland, Texas and love eash other very much. I have been sober going on nine years now. My sobriety date is May 21st 2008. I am very happy to be sober this Saturday morning and thought I would write in my journal a little about myself. There are a few of you that follow this blog and I thought if I put a picture to match the words you might like this.

I will be chairperson at AA this morning in Midland , Texas at the 12 step group. It is always nice to be called on to lead a group of recovering alcoholics. I get nervous in a good way. Sometimes I talk too much and I will try not to let this get in the way of the meeting, but life has so many good things to offer the recovering alcoholic. It is nice to wake up without a hangover and tremors. I feel as good as I can feel, and I even played about 20 minutes of hardcore Tennis last night in 100 degree weather. I am way out of shape , but I am going to work Tennis into my program, I am 53 years young and I could feel my muscles aching when I moved while playing last night. I played against the backboard on the Tennis court cause I have not found me any players to hit with yet.

I write this blog for my own benefit, and it is for me to look back to see how I have grown or what I could of done better. To be honest with myself , I never really look back at the stuff I have written since I have started this back in 2011, I believe. I am writing this for when I am old and in my 90s , cause I have a feeling I will live that long at least.

I highly recommend that id you are sober and have no one to love to get a Labrador Retriever as I have in this picture. They are loving animals and very human like. My puppy is now 2 years old and she is my life. We do a lot of things together and she gets me out of the house for walks. She walks me , you see. SHe is a female and is so loving and giving, and so much fun to talk to every single day. I wake up to her in the morning as she has her own room in the laundry room. She is always wagging her tail and eager to see me. She waits while I take a shower to make sure I am alright and then loves on me to tell me how happy she is. ANyway I am mumbling, just thought you might like to se a picture of us..Christopher

Saturday, June 18, 2016

Single and Sober

I was traveling the other day and decided to place an ad on Match.com and see if I could find a nice young lady. I have used all the free sites and I keep running into girls that want money, or escorts, hookers, and you name it I have talked to them. I really am not looking for sex, I am looking for a friend to spend time with for a long while. Does she need to be an alcoholic, not really , I can accept about anyone, and if they drink so be it. If they drink too much then that is a closer. However I have not been on this site for more than a day I am glad to see there really is a few delightful women on this thing. Communication is one way , my way..lol..However, I am taking this last chance of finding that special girl online one more time and even spent money for this service. I must be serious, I am reading how to pick up a girl instead of just telling her she os pretty in a nice way. So I look on google and searched cute oneliners I could use and we will see if that helps. They are good and it has made me think about how to communicate with a women's intelligence.

I have been alone for about over 20 years and not really dated since I have been sober, the reason why is it is hard to find women when you don't go to the bar. I , even thought about making a night of it tonight to see if I could go to a bar and feel comfortable in finding a dancing partner, but I am pretty shy. I am not the Alpha male I claim I am . I get nervous and freak out. It's like when I ask a girl to dance I feel like she thinks I want to sleep with her, which are not my intentions. The alcoholic thinking , I have is this. Like I said I have not even tried the bar scene in so many years, I rememberer from experiences that is how I felt. I can't tell a girls age but I would probably go for the 20 year old cause she is cute and get a "Your as old as my father " look. I can't judge age, so maybe I should go for the older looking girls and not risk any rejection,because I don't like rejection.

It's a new thing I am into right now in finding one to love. I guess I must be really needing this , as it has been hitting my head lately. Wish Me luck. Christopher Hyer

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Alcoholic and Using Words To a Better Life

As a recovered alcoholic , I have read several books on self -help for everything I can to help me with anxieties to living life sober. I did have a book call Persuasion Techniques and Using Words. I found this very enlightening as the words we say make a negative and positive effect on whom we speak to and how someone might take the words we speak.

Its interesting to me that how negative words can be taken out of context and other findings I found on words. It is like when you say "How are you doing today?" That is very common, and the usual answer is doing fine. However we are really not communicating our true feelings we are just giving the answer that is easily out of our mouths. You might have just yelled at your spouse and your having a crappy day but you don't want to get into all that with a complete stranger. . Positive and negative words are very interesting to look up and read about. What is a word anyway? Got you on that one, I don't have a dictionary and I don't want to look it up right now. That would be negative in a sense
 that I just don't want to tell you cause I really don't care to do a search on google and then write a paragraph on this subject.

I just thought I would throw in my two cents on words today and if you find a book about words and what you tell yourself with these words , I think you will find yourself maybe saying words that either upset other people or make even yourself fel bad with the words that you use on a daily basis. Being positive in a recovering system is what life is all about is where I am going with this. Like I said I write this for me, and anyone that reads this blog , is fine with me. This is my journal and I think I will watch my words. lol Christopher Hyer

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Gambling and Alcohol Addiction " They go hand in hand"

I am perfect by no means. What I am going to point out to myself on here is that yes, I have addiction problems. I'm addicted to sex, gambling and was addicted to alcohol. I heard a speaker at my Treatment Center named Chris Raymer , and he goes on to say that we all have that little pleasure person inside us called the "Issue Man" The "Issue Man" Loves pleasure we get from drugs alcohol, sex, gambling anything that gives us a high. This part of our body craves our addiction and will tell us to get more of it. Controlling the :Issue Man " is near impossible for the recovering addict. However that is where the 12 steps come in to say , hey stop the insanity and let us get with the program; Chris. I do alright for a while then I fall back into gambling , I know the value of money, but I also know the rush I get from hitting a jackpot. They are almost the exact same except I don't get the same type of hangover with gambling as I did with alcohol. I do get a hangover from gambling especially if I have lost a lot of money. I feel terrible, and shameful , gutted, and stupid.

Yes, gambling produces a high like nonother I can think of. It is time-consuming and with the laughs and crowd, it can be most enjoyable to thiose of us who don't have anything else to do with our time. I drive 100 miles almost evry weekend to go gamble and I win at times , but lose more than win. Until I accept this for what it is, it might get worse, and I better watch out. I am on alert to this problem , and I thought I could control it, and I did but this last weekend I blew my whole paycheck, so out of control for me.

Beware of your addictions and how to manage them or do without them. Use the 12 steps to get out of something that may be ruining your life or taking your hard earned money. I know from experience that when I do wrong , I feel it. Nothing is worth going back to drinking for me , and I will have to deal with this addiction when I am serious about working it. It is just like an alcoholic, gambling is . You need to know when to stop or it will catch your ass when you are not looking. Hope this helps you as I hope it helps me. Christopher Hyer

Sunday, June 5, 2016

Time and the Alcoholic

Time, when we are awake and have a holiday or a weekend day off for an alcoholic can be a little unusual. In Midland, Texas there is no lakes for miles or mountains for miles and really not much in entertainment except for  eating out, or going to a movie. I have done both for the last 8 years and I have to say it gets boring. I might just be relaxed and with nothing to do, I get a little confused.I don't think about drinking or smoking but I do wonder what the hell to do. I drive  at least 1500 miles a week with the company I am with and the last thing I want to do is go for a ride. I use to paint a little bit here and there but I found this boring in itself. I am alone most of the time I am off, I don't date anymore. I have not found anyone I would even consider dating at my age of 53 in this town. I have looked, believe me I am on every singles sight there is that is free and no one appeals to me. A few ladies do appeal to me, but I have these chat sessions and they get boring really quick because I know where they are heading, to the next time I chat with them. lol

I'm not saying that life alone is boring , but at times, it can be. Maybe that means I need to change up my program a little bit. I go to enough AA meetings a week, and that is not the answer. To be honest with myself I don't want to hang out with a bunch of recovered drunks every day of my life. I like to break away from the social sobriety thing and just do my own thing. With so many years of drinking and being alone, I am glad I am sober at least for one more day and that is how I justify my boredom. I would sit at home with a hangover almost daily and have an excuse to be bored then. I now am sober and almost do the same thing as when I was drinking. I must find an activity that will give me a rush to do on days off. I will work on this possibly as I get tired of movies at home and yet I am 53 and most people my age, I am not sure what the hell they do except for rest on their day off. Hell, I only had one day off from work and I'm talking about boredom. Christopher Hyer

Friday, June 3, 2016

Sobriety and the Internet "huh"

Well, interesting enough, I started writing this blog about 7 years ago and I have about 400 readers monthly . So you are reading what was intended on being a personal journal abut my sobriety and living life. Thank you for finding an interest in this blog. I don't care if a thousand people read this a month, I am not making any money for it..Anyway, I had my AA Birthday night last week and 20 people turned out to listen to what I had to say. It really was a large crowd for my group as we are a small group of usually about 6- 10 people showing up to meetings. I was glad that there were people interested in what I had to say.
I wrote most of what I wanted to say down before going to the meeting as I was the only speaker. There was a fellow from the treatment center, called La Hacienda that was there, he was alright I guess. Treatment centers trip me out. They take all your money when you go into one and if you have no previous association with AA , it can really throw you for a loop. Especially if you don't stay sober when your 30 days are up. Then you lost about 60k from La Hacienda and then they beg you to come back. Shit, I understand that a lot of celebrities and musicians go to this treatment center, even more than the Betty Ford clinic in California. You would think there would be some type of warranty with your money. I guess what I am saying is that if you have not fallen off a cliff and lost everything , please get yourself some free help from the Salvation Army or something like this organization. It is no country club , but I have been there in Ft Worth and I did stay sober for about 4 years because the damn place scared the crap out of me. Scared straight!! Maybe that is the answer instead of expensive country club spa locations that cater to the rich and famous.

These are only my opinions but in real life when you get out of the country club setting , you might still have a job and a house and a spouse but nine times out of ten most have lost all. This is not true for everyone, granted we all hit our own bottom when we decide it or alcohol and drugs have taken our money and cars and caused relationships to dry up. There is hope for everyone, including myself. staying sober for eight years is the most I have ever been like this and I don't ever see myself going back to the old way of living because I was not living, I was dying..

Truth, is I am living a great life, now. Yes , there are some downfalls, but I am hitting them straight on with honesty and truthfulness.It is so much better than all the lies I use to tell people tomake myself feel good, and I did feel good when I was high or stoned. I feel good straight now also, and it takes a few months or years to feel like I do right now. I would be a fool to go back to the past and re-live my whole crushing living with booze and drugs. I think about it at times that I had fun parties, but in reality, I was not having that much fun. I was drunk or high and just existing in my body. We all have addiction traits , like to chocolate or ice cream. However , they do not change the way you think or communicate with the world. They are fun addictions that need control. I drink Swepps Soda Water all the time and I am addicted to the bubbles and frosty feel in my mouth. It is like a ber , if you know where I am coming from. I even get virgin Bloody Mary drinks at the bar sometimes because I like them. However , I don't go to the bar on a monthly basis. I am pretty much working at something everyday. I feel like I am excelling in every day and accomplishing something as stupid as washing my clothes or taking the dog for a walk. These are things I never did when I was using alcohol or drugs. in the past I just sat at home and painted some pretty far out pictures with oil paint and got high, I saw stuff and painted them. They were graphic and I can even do this sober, but it took a while for my artistic self to realize I did not need to smoke a joint to paint. I guess we never forget the past and remeber the good times more than the bad. I think that is where AA helps me out. I wish you al a good weekend and I hope you enjoy my blog. Keep coming back it just gets more and more interesting I think..lol  Christopher Hyer

Sunday, May 29, 2016

Non-Drunk Memorial Day and Socially Sober

It's been a while since I have written. I do this blog for my own journal anyway, so when I look back over the future, I can see how much I have grown or resisted growth. However you are welcome to review my blog post and make comments.

Its Sunday night in Midland, Texas and it is Memorial Day on Monday, in which we have so many Veterans that are young and old that have made the USA free with the work in our military. God bless them and hopefully we can bring home a few thousand more young people home with thier families. That is what life is about , is family living and not war. I think our political system seems to split this up especially during the election year. Let's bring our brothers and sisters home where they belong.

Staying sober today is no different than it was last week or eight years ago for me. I do stay sober for a reason. The main reason is I do not want to feel bad the next day. When drinking and smoking pot , at night usually , I was very happy and content I thought. However ,now that it has been 8 years of complete sobriety, it is just normal for me to be sober on any given day. That is a great obstacle I have overcome over the time of being sober, and I hope if you have a drinking problem you will realize that this can happen to you also. It takes a little bit of work on your part and a lot of spiritual work on God's part to stay sober, but once you have it, sobriety will stay with you as long as you will it to be.

I am not feeling like I am missing out on anything right now, I worked today and I have lots of hours in overtime, and this makes me happy. I have other problems besides worrying about drinking today , that the urge to have alcohol is not even a option. I will celebrate with the 12 step group at the PDAP building in Midland, Texas on Wed at 7:30 PM of this week. So if anyone is local , please say you saw my blog and I will be happy to know you.I have no idea of what I will say as my sobriety is due to so many things in my life. From AA Meetings to the spirit of god I pray to everyday to my family being happy I am alive and living without alcohol and pot. That should be enough, as some of the speaker meetings can go on and on. I will not talk about certain things in my life, but I am really an open book when I am at these meetings and I believe that most in my group know my circumstances.

Why do we talk about the past, I guess it is to remember where we came from and how the fight to keeping sober for so long is accomplished to those who cannot even think about being sober for a day. I know I was one of these people, and yet after several treatment centers and breaking so many hearts. I did stay sober this time for myself. It has paid off with love and material things that I have worked for. I live in a nice large house and have a loving puppy that loves me to pieces. I just hope that I can keep on staying sober for one day at a time like I have. That is all it really takes is AA Meetings and believing that you can make it one day at a time until the obsession goes away and it will. Well,thats about all I have to say, back to watching a movie and having a pizza. Goodnight. Christopher Hyer

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

I get Bored AT Times being Sober

AT times I get pretty bored in between work and at home. I like being home but , I have exhausted my old hobbies with music and art. I find that the time I kill now is laying on the couch and watching a movie with my eyes closed, cause I am tired. Funny thing is I use to do the same thing when I was drinking . Except now , I am not. I don't wake up with the room spinning and I don't feel bad. Maybe a little bit depressed and wondering if I should do something new with my living situation. Midland, Texas is a boring town. No Lakes or mountains to gaze at and the only place to go out at night is AA, a restaurant, or bar. Being single my choices are very limited, I use to look forward to going to work. Now this is getting boring. I have been to more AA meetings and I enjoy these, but while I work I can't really attend these and that would be a cruch in a way.

AA cannot rule my life just guide it. I would get bored from going to a meeting every hour on the hour or every day for that matter. So Chris has to come up with an alternative to keep busy when I am at home beside looking at porn on the internet. lol..Really I don't look at that much porn..but in reality I do have to find a book I guess and start reading something. I watched a movie with Robert Deniro last night called the Intern. See it if you have not , it is a new release, but it pretty much is about a guy who is 70 and gets a job with a Google type company run by 20 something kids. It is funny and it is reality. He stays busy with yoga and other things , but it was good for me to see this show. Oh well I will report on what happens to me , right now I am just trying to get through each day, seems to be getting a little tougher than before, not sure whats up. I think its the boredom.Chris

Sunday, May 15, 2016

Happiness With Staying Sober Socially

I have been in a rut the last few weeks, and I think I might of found a way around my glum. I work on call 7 days a week and I was getting burned out from my job. My attitude was changing , I really was not caring about myself or the job. I think people call this burnout.

Well for me I started to think about smoking pot again and then I knew I was in trouble, so I went to an AA meeting as soon as I could. Noticed that I was not making AA much during the week cause of my burnout period. SO I changed this and then I realized I was doing the best job I could and to make it a little more fun than I have been . I wake up early at 5 AM to start work and usually home by 3PM and I was getting slack in this area. I realize AA is a big deal but I was too bored and tired to go to AA meetings lately . I was slowly sinking and realized that my job is not my life, but it has to be a part of my daily living if I want money.

SO change again, I am now making sure I put some fun into my work and that I try to take different mind games so as to not dread waking up in the mornings. I hope I can stay positive, I am coming up on 8 years on May 21st of this month and i felt really down.

I guess I just have to understand that Im not that important but my well being is. I cannot drink nor will I . But that sick thinking comes into play at times when I am too bored or depresssed> maybe some of you out there have felt this way. There is a way out of the boredom and that is getting involved with projects like gardening or whatever. I will report later on what I have done, but to realize this and to take action now is most important..Chris