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Recovering Addict and Being Normal

What is normal? That is the million dollar question. Is anyone really normal? There are so many different types of people and they have so many beliefs. I would guess normality would be a sane person that abides by most of our laws and has a job, maybe a wife and a kid, but that statement is not true either. So I do know that to walk around drunk or high during the day or night, probably is not normal but in movies, they depict this as being normal.

I believe if you are doing right by Gods way that you must be somewhat normal. Don't hurt others on purpose and abide by the ten commandments the best as you can seem like you are trying to be a good citizen and good human. If you drink that does not make you a bad person if you drink because of problems then that is normal but not a good excuse. Complicated as it may seem, I think the most of us that respect others and treat them as we would like to be treated is the best idea of being a good human and reflects a normal attitude. We a…

Prayers for Recovering Addicts Do Good

I pray every day at sunrise and sunset. I pray in the work day and sometimes I forget to pray during the day. The world is full of love and hate. I think the media is to blame and the Internet. No matter who is to blame, prayers can calm a man down when anxious or depressed. God is with me all the time and checking up on you the rest of the time. He never leaves any one of us. He is always there. Sounds like a miracle, well God is the miracle that no one can really explain in a manner where realism is concerned. You either accept the fact that there is a God and enjoy his power that he holds as his spirit runs through your body, planning out the day for you one moment at a time. I must live in the moment because I have no idea where I will be in an hour from now. God is powerful and all I need to do is look at my dog or a tree and realize the imperfections are really perfections of life as God wants them to be. I rely on God to show me the strength and keep my head cool in hot situati…

Darkness for the Alcoholic and Drug User

I have been very busy at work and loving my job. I am making good money, probably the best I have ever made. No problems with my boss or anything, able to afford to buy a new car. I have everything, sobriety, a new car , a life. What happened. I was tempted last night to start smoking pot .

So why would I start smoking pot when all is going good? I did not think about the negative or darkness that I might be putting myself into again, its has been almost 9 years now with no drinking or drugs, then on a Saturday night, I get the urge to smoke pot. I found a person on CL and i went to meet him with 140.00 in cash to buy some Hydro Pot. I meet with this guy I don't know and he jumps in my new car and I give him the money and he dispersal
..lol He fucking ran off with my cash. Was I mad , no. That was weird, this guy just took my cash and hauled ass. I actually thought that I was buying from a guy that needed to get rid of what he had and went to his car to get my drug. I waited only …

Negativity and Living Life Sober

That thing is this: Not all things that people may say or think are really about you. If someone is pretty much always negative about what other people do or
someone sometimes make personal attacks and let the destructive words flow
then - when such things are aimed at you - remember that it isn't always about
you. Such words or negative habits can be a way for that person to release pent up
anger, frustration or jealousy about something in his or her own life.  Or a way to reinforce that his or her viewpoint or belief is the right one.  Or he or she may have a habit of getting others involved emotionally - baiting
them - to build a negative spiral, an argument or fight to get attention.  It's about him or her. Not about something you did or want to do.  You may just have been in the wrong place at the wrong time. I have found that it can have a calming effect to remember this. And to remember
that the other person is still human and might be having a bad day, month,
marriage or job. This doe…

The Sinclair Method VS Alcoholics Anonymous

I was searching for a topic today and I found the Sinclair method of approach to drinking too much alcohol. I think it is a good approach to the alternative of AA. You decide what you think. Here is a few words about what The Sinclair Method is:

The Sinclair Method (TSM) uses the nervous system’s own mechanism, called “extinction”, for gradually removing the interest in alcohol and the behaviors involved in alcohol drinking. Therefore, the technical term for TSM is “pharmacological extinction.”
The key scientific discovery underlying the treatment was that, contrary to earlier beliefs, detoxification and alcohol deprivation do not stop alcohol craving but in fact increase subsequent alcohol drinking[1],[2]. The old idea that alcoholism is caused by physiological dependence on alcohol, therefore, needed to be discarded, and a new understanding of alcoholism developed.
Subsequent research showed that alcohol drinking is a learned behavior [3]. Some individuals, partly for genetic reason…

Social Anxiety and staying Sober

I found this article in my email and I found it o be true about anxiety and people's perception and reality about anxiety. I hope you enjoy this article. Chris

The Three Steps to Dealing with Social Anxiety At this point we established that trying to avoid or get rid of the feeling of social anxiety usually backfires. It leads to more social anxiety in the long run and you end up restricting your life and ridding it of all meaning and fun. So here are three steps (backed up by decades of studies) that actually work: STEP 1: ACCEPT YOUR ANXIETY Social anxiety is not the enemy. It’s a feeling. A primal “warning” signal from your body to keep you from danger. Problem is, it was designed to keep you safe from wild animals and falling rocks, not strangers and pretty girls. So when you notice anxiety coming up, together with all the negative thoughts, feelings, and sensations, sit with it. Don’t push it away, or change it in any way. Instead, let it be there, and really experience what …

Sober and What Becomes when We stay Sober

I have a lot on my plate lately, but it has been good and different. Lost my step father, however , I know he is with God. I am
not sad, just motivated to start my life on a new turn.I have been lookig for another job, as the one I have is not what I like to do. I have prayed about this daily and my prayers are coming true. I have had a few consultants call me on jobs that I like to do. Times in Midland are booming again with the oil field picking up and that brings in more business and retail shops, plus high prices.I will take advantage of the time I have and focus on the reality of being sober and alive. At times , I feel really lonely but then I get a glimpse of how lucky and fortunate I have in my life. I am thankful that I am not in a wheel chair , I am thankful I have some money, and food, plus a house that has musical instruments for me to pass the time, and hopefully get better.I have more than I deserve in material things, and yes most of it has been put o credit cards, so …

Everything happens, When nothing seems Possible Sober

Well, I have had a great weekend. I started off with getting hired for a job that requires a lot of traveling and this is fine. Followed by a girlfriend of mine who came back into my life and wanted to go out Friday night. When things look bleak in sobriety, beware because something big is probably about to happen for the good. I have been a little depressed over the last few weeks , and I still kept my head up high knowing that something good would become from all the resumes I have put out and staying busy with my program and AA. It never fails as God comes into my life daily even though I feel he has left me, and brings me big surprises. That is how sobreity works, not expecting anything really and when your down keep busy helping others and it will come back to help you. That is how eight years of living has been for me. I forget at times this rule of thumb. God never forgets me however, he just keeps me outside of myself and I get loaded up with ideas of what I can do to make lif…

Good Things About being Sober

Monday I went to San Antonio with my AA sponsor to a meeting in which my sponsor Eddie was to speech
. We had a good time talking on the trip down there and then we hit the meeting in town and he got a standing ovation. Very proud of him and he was proud that I went with him on the 5 hour trip. On the way back on Tuesday to Midland I was called for a second interview with a company I have been trying to get on with in employment. I returned home and this was a phone interview and I had passed my electronics test and personality test , so I was pretty happy. This is a miracle from god that we talk about in AA , and how God works in our lives when we least expect it. Anyway I was invited to my last interview to be held on Thursday morning over the phone again with the hiring manager, so I would assume I am pretty well hired, but I won't know until Thursday.

Sobriety and giving back was was freely given to me is what this AA program is all about. Working the steps and getting out of …

Moving on with a Sober Life

Well, I have hit a few hurdles in my last few post on this blog. I am back on my medication, as it works and I can function. Be careful what others say to you and about your life. You are the only one living in your own body and you know what works and what does not. Alcohol does not seem to work in any one soul out there that can drink to oblivion. Treatment is a must for the first time alcoholic who suffers and it is usually a good thing for those who are not familiar with the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. If you drink and you are out of control, please seek help, and try to stick with meetings and work the 12 steps of AA as fast as you can in recovery. This will get you feeling better in the long run and will get you familiar with the steps in your life and how they will change your life. By the grace of God , I am still sober even after putting myself through hell, on getting off the medication I am taking, but I am taking it as prescribed and feel like it must be the correct …

Positive Affirmations with sober Living and Life

Living a positive outlook on life can be a challenge for myself. There is so much negativity around me and in the world. Staying positive in a daily living situation as most alcoholics have to live from day to day is not easy. Waking up , is when I start to look into the mirror
and be blessed that I am not crippled and I am semi-good looking and that I smell clean is a positive role for me on most mornings. I read the bible for positive information to help with my day. I don't do this everyday, and beware of people wanting you to get negative with them. They are in AA and everywhere that you might work, ready to bring you down, not on purpose but so they may feel good about themselves.

If your sober you have taken steps to make sure you can get by the day without a drink. That is very positive in sober living. Therefor , pat yourself on the back that you have made it to this point. There are so many that can not get past this point in thier lives and end up you know where.

Today …

Family and Sobriety

My brother who lives in California came for a visit to see my parents and myself over the last few days. He was proud of how my life seemed to be going. He and I were drinking buddies and pot smoking friends as well as brothers. He is older and wiser than I was growing up. He knew when to quit and his little brother just kept drinking and smoking all day long. He is a Doctor and I am a struggling job chaser. If I could change one thing it would be that I would of finished up college, then I might not be chasing jobs on a yearly basis. I am never satisfied I figure. He has been to Paris and Austin and now California with the same corporation for over 30 years. I envy people like this now, and never thought about what I did, doing alcohol and stuff would creep up on myself and put me years behind everyone I loved, but there are possibilities that one day I will be proud of what I do for a living and more happy with my living situation and where I live. I am happy with my progress , but …

God Sometimes will Throw a Curve Ball

Good morning world, and it is  a beautiful day on Tuesday 10/4/2016. God throws me a curve ball at times and I don't know why? I do not question God as to why he does what he does for me. However , I get dissapoited at times. This job I have been hired for by a temporary agency, told me yesterday that it was no longer available. After waiting for the Territory manager for two weeks to start the job suddenly was not there for me. I had passed the background checks and the drug test and was offered the job but a start date was all I was suppose to be waiting for, and wham , no job. I was furious , but not surprised. I was calm and collective and just said , well God has something in store for me.
 In the meantime I was offered a interview as a sales rep for a company that I am not too sure sbout , if I am the right fit. However I leave this up to God to decide, so I am dressed for success the morning and ready to interview for this job today.

God has all this power and I have to fol…

Changing Your Sobriety With Changing Yourself

It is Sunday 9/25/2016 and I woke up early as usual and in my mind, I knew that working out at the Gym this morning was going to start my day. I get confused do I want to take a shower and then sweat it out or get sweaty then take a shower. So many things run through my head on something this simple. Yes, I look forward to going to the gym now. I have only been there three days now and I feel really good about what I am doing for my body. I even feel a little bit of tightness in my stomach as if I am gaining  strength. I have not worked out in over 30 years, so this little feat of me going to the gym and working out is a new change in my sobriety and it is a good change. WHen you better yourself , it seems to pay off by making me feel like I have accomplished something that God wants in my life. When my new job starts , I am going to have to figure out how I am going to work in the workouts as I am committed to losing weight, mostly.

I am a big guy anyway and that is cool, but I don&#…

Sobriety Curve Balls In our Social Living

Its is Monday 9/12/2016 and a pretty day in Western Texas, I have almost 9 years of sobriety as of this time of year. I have just let go of one full- time job that has lasted almost a year. Why the curve ball has been thrown ? Well, the job was boring and not very interesting to myself. It Paid the bills but I have another job lined up that will do the same, pay the bills. God works in ways that I do not understand , nor or we suppose to understand why God works his miracles in the way he does with us. I have been wanting to leave this former company for months and when the opportunity came and I found another position in which I am interested , I changed like a normal person would.

Now that is not to say I am normal because to me a normal person is one who can drink normal and still hold a job and so the definition of normality is hard to be defined. I am normal in the fact that I pray to God , go to AA meetings and try to live the way God would want me to live. I am 53 and yes I am …

The Big Book and Sobriety

I don't make it a habit to read the Big Book of AA. I do read it in the mornings or evenings where I get bored. I usually see myself in some fashion or another in this book. This could be a present or past reflection on whom I have become as a sober individual. When reading the Big Book of AA , I find passages that are out of date. The meaning of some of the words can be quite confusing to me, so I look some of them up in a dictionary, and the word makes perfect sense to the context in which it is written. I find that reading the pages in the back of the book can be enlightening to myself, as when I go to AA meetings these back chapters are ignored.Most of the AA meetings are focused on the 12 steps of the book in the first 100 or so pages. This is good information and if lived with a spiritual connection do work for the alcoholic who is trying to understand what this whole book and program is about.

I also read the Bible on a daily basis and Rick Warren a Pastor out of California…

Saturday and Staying Sober

Saturday in the years of my drinking were days to re0couperate from Friday night highs and drinking. I would not wake up until noon or later and then go get food as I was hungry in which woke me up. It would be close to three or four in the afternoon before my head kicked in and I was truly awake. I am not sure how your Saturday was but for me it was quite and sleepy most of the day. Of course, I was preparing for Saturday night and what I was going to drink or smoke. If I was out of weed, I started to make phone calls to get some for the rest of the week. It was like a totally different lifestyle than it is now.
Eight years later in my present tense, I wake up about six AM and try to sleep in till 7 AM and then I let my puppy out the backdoor and let her do her stuff and fix breakfast and drink juice. That is my usual Saturday now. After breakfast, I look at my work phone to see if I have calls for the day I need to take care of , and then get ready to work them or if I don't I g…

Life is Complicated Drunk , When Sober Life Changes

Hello, and welcome to my personal journal. I was thinking this evening how complicated life is. However, it really does not have to be. I was watching a movie and it was disturbing , so I walked outside and watched my Labrador Retriever enjoy her back yard, and even myself.

When I was drinking I was always in the moment, and yes I remember seeing some pretty things that God gives us all, like the Ocean, beaches and fish where I use to live on N Padre Island, Texas. It was beautiful most of the time. I was high most of the time also. At night I was always high and beginning my drinking for the night. Therefor I did not do much after about 7 or 8 PM at night except for the photographs of surfing I use to take on a daily basis on the island. If there was no surf I would drive down the coast to take pictures of the birds, and Pelicans that were so spiritual to me and my friend Harry. I will discussm,"Harry" in another part of my journal. He was a big influence to me even during …

Sobriety and the Internet "huh"

Well, interesting enough, I started writing this blog about 7 years ago and I have about 400 readers monthly . So you are reading what was intended on being a personal journal abut my sobriety and living life. Thank you for finding an interest in this blog. I don't care if a thousand people read this a month, I am not making any money for it..Anyway, I had my AA Birthday night last week and 20 people turned out to listen to what I had to say. It really was a large crowd for my group as we are a small group of usually about 6- 10 people showing up to meetings. I was glad that there were people interested in what I had to say.
I wrote most of what I wanted to say down before going to the meeting as I was the only speaker. There was a fellow from the treatment center, called La Hacienda that was there, he was alright I guess. Treatment centers trip me out. They take all your money when you go into one and if you have no previous association with AA , it can really throw you for a loo…

How To Be a Sponsor in Social Sobeirty

In AA there are people with lengths of sobriety, it could be 6 months or longer , and if you work the steps you should of gotten to twelve on the list. Now I say you should of, meaning that you thoroughly worked each and every step and have a concept of the program and how sponsoring works . You should have a sponsor already also before sponsoring, but these are not rules, just suggestions.
What does a sponsor do? They are a person that you can call on during the day and night when you have problems or just feel uneasy with a living situation. They are not your last answe, they will give answers that are AA driven , and for your sobriety. Most sponsors turn into lifelong friends, but there are a few new comers out there, that abuse the policy. A good sponsor will sit down and go over the Big Book with you and help you understand what you son't understand in the books of AA. If they don't have the answer, they will find it. They are not saints or anyone that is higher up in a A…