Nine years of Sobriety and 5 Months of CBD Buds

Like I have said before I write this journal or blog for myself. I am not trying to impress anyone or tell my whole life story. Recently for the past five or six months, I have been trying CBD , which if you do not know what it is let me explain.
CBD from Hemp is what I was smoking, it does not get a person high but it does have healing properties for much medical use. Now, what medical use did I use it for was anxiety or panic? I will say that I tried Vaping CBD, and I thought it did nothing. Then I found out you could buy this like Marijuana flowers or buds. I purchased the Buds legally at a Vape store in my city. I rolled up Hemp cigarettes and smoked a few hits over the span of the last few months. The funny thing is I felt like it was helping me with Panic and possibly was, or was it just that I missed the taste of real pot and the smell and buds were beautiful. The only problem is CBD is not regulated nor is specified what type of Nutrient, Hemp can be, plus the negative bonus of having .03% THC in Hemp plants can cause a false positive on a drug test.

Well, how the hell can they sell stuff like CBD and my city law is not doing anything about it, yet a federal law says it is legal but also illegal at the same time. I decided to completely stop smoking Hemp Buds the other day. They were not bothering me , however I did not want to start another addiction to a Nutrient, Drug, or whatever it is that is being sold all over the USA in disguise and too many questions of the legal authority to use or not use this CBD is not clear yet in Texas and many other states.

I will say I did not drink with my use but I am not sure where this may fit into my sobriety for nine years. Did I blow it by smoking Hemp? I am not sure, but I am thinking, No. It is my life and I got no high but I was curious and tried this as a medicine for my panic attacks.I do not think I can judge others for trying CBD as I have read everything good about it except for the .03% THC that might cause you to fail a drug test. Very confusing, any answers to this would be appreciated. Have a good day. Chris

Saying Thank You for Sobriety

I get caught up in myself and I need to remember to say Thank You, to those who have to listen to my bullshit and even read my blog. This blog makes no money, and I never set out to make any money from it. This is just a way I can get matters off my chest and remember what I have done stupid and smart. I have a lot of problems in my sobriety but I am sober. That was my main goal, right. I still dabble in stuff I should keep my nose out of, but I am not perfect and I am interested in the health as Americans are of the age of CBD and Marijuana Legalization. Pretty darn confusing, and maybe it is meant to be this way. I am in my mid-50s and I knew that Marijuana would be legalized when I reached this age, I really did but it seems like our country is split on politics and now states are separate from the Federal government. Just crazy shit like this could make a person want to get loaded. However AA is still around and my feelings towards alcohol are yes, it is there, so fucking what. I do not participate in alcohol drinking and I have my reasons as I am sure you have yours. My life has been better without it, my social life still sucks but maybe that is just me.

I have not written in a while and I am going through another job change, and getting kind of old at that..lol However I am still able to walk and talk and my family loves me, which is what matters. I am sure if you are sober or even a drunk someone loves you very much, hell I love you and I don't even know you, but you're
on my blog so you must care about what is within these notes. So Thank You. Chris

Stupidity and Sobriety

I have been sober for nine years this May 21st and I also have done a bunch of stupid things in my sobriety. I also witness others in AA that are sober but stupidity seems to follow them as they talk about their experiences. The definition of stupidity is behavior that shows a lack of good sense or judgment.

"I can't believe my own stupidity"

So Who is to judge one's stupidity is it me or you or is there an organization out there that says, "Yes he is the stupid one". He goes sober for 30 days then comes back in and preaches the AA word from the Big Book verbatim without having to open it, then leaves and proceeds to drink again. I have met several of these stupid people. However, this is just my opinion on stupidity. One who says they are practicing the twelve steps with a beer can in his right hand instead of his left hand, therefore limiting his drinking ability.lol

I guess it goes without saying if you read my articles and the stupid things I did. One was trying out CBD from a marijuana Hemp plant could be a cause to call me stupid. I was not thinking and wanted to experiment with CBD as I have anxiety still but on CBD, my anxiety seemed to diminish. I was not smoking pot and I was not ingesting THC as far as I knew and read, that was stupid. Wanting to feel different than I normally do is not a safe way to live in alcoholics anonymous. It can lead me right back to drinking a beer cause that made me feel good also, however, the consequences of alcohol were devastating to me and my family.

Well, I saw a car driver do several stupid things this morning and it brought out the stupidity thoughts I had. Like I said I write this blog to journal my life as I try to progress through the social sobriety lifestyle that I have chosen. I make mistakes but one is I have not had a drop to drink in 9 years. I am no better than the guy who has 24 hours of sobriety but I am smarter than ever on what stupid is. Have a good day. Chris

Watch out For CBD if you are Sober

I wanted to touch on information about CBD products that some may have a concern. I know I did and did something about it. I tested and tried Vaping CBD and there was supposedly no THC in the CBD I had bought in Texas in my hometown of Midland, Texas as THC is illegal. Granted the Hemp plant and Marijuana plant are one in the same, certain extraction takes place and I was told and read that THC would not be in the product I had consumed. I never felt high when taking the products sold in Midland, however, is concerned when I quit Vaping this crap a few weeks ago, I decided to take a drug test just to make sure I was clean. The result is I tested positive for THC. Never smoked Pot in over ten years and I just Vaped the products that were sold legally at this store for anxiety and the CBD benefits. The store clerks said I could smoke all the CBD they had and not ever test positive for THC, but they evidently smoke weed and or have not had any complaints from people like myself about there being THC in my urine after I had used the products. I was very upset with myself for being stupid t trusting what I read and heard from the store clerks, and it just shows how crazy the legalities are being swept under a mat and local officials are doing nothing about this. I have not confronted anyone on my findings and I know how to flush THC out of my system, but it pisses me off that I had ingested THC when I was told and I read on the product that no THC would be involved.

Be careful out there and watch what you drink and or vape, it could cause you problems you did not think existed. Have a good day. Chris

CBD an excuse to smoke Hemp?

As I go through my trial phase with CBD oil from Hemp plants, I discovered a new product. This is called Dabbing Wax, that is CBD concentrate because I wanted the real CBD and this is the strongest you can get. I bought the needed supplies and wax on Saturday and was in a hurry to see how this made me feel. You put the wax, little slivers into a heating, pipe and smoke it, only one hit and boom. I felt high as a kite a rush like never before since quitting Pot. It was just the initial first hit off the pipe that the rush was there, I thought I was going to fall down, what a rush I thought. Then a calm after effect, but is this really an excuse to get high off CBD? I am not sure how I feel about smoking wax this way to get rid of panic, I think it might be an excuse to get high for a short breathe of the initial rush. I have to be careful because this is all legal but so is alcohol. SO for those who really want to feel what true CBD does to you try the wax. I am laying off of this until I know more about this shit. Don't wantto trade one habit for another. Just Saying!!!

CBD and Panic No More

I am fascinated by what I have experienced and learned about CBD daily, and so much more is waiting to be learned. I am on week two of testing the vaping of 1000mg. Vape with CBD and I can tell that I have no preconceived anticipatory anxiety anymore with the panic attacks. I just go and do what I need to do without second thinking it. Amazing as it sounds, this stuff does not get you high or change you in any way except if you have a few issues with mood disorders or anxiety and pain. If you have these issues, please look into CBD. I have found relief in this and not Xanax. This is the kicker, I have been able to almost quit Xanax without withdrawal from Xanax in this short period of time. That is fucking amazing for anyone. No sweats or nervousness and I feel more like myself. I can only tell you this is my results but from reading online as the below information, this is one of the studies for panic.

CBD And Panic Attacks

Anyone who experiences anxiety knows about the incessant background noise that seeks to undo their very being. If that wasn’t enough, sometimes it goes a step further when a tidal wave of anxiety suddenly hits at once.

Coming out of the blue, this rogue wave takes hold and unfolds into a full-blown panic – unpleasant to say the least. Thankfully, CBD has a helping hand to play in riding this wave out.

Moderated once again through the activation of the 5-HT1A receptor, CBD impairs escape like behavior, which suggests that it packs an anti-panic punch. This was found by a study conducted on rats subjected to electrical stimulation whilst housed in a circular arena. Panic was defined as the threshold which prompted the rats to run around the arena in an attempt to escape.When injected with CBD, the rats showed reduced defensive responses (associated with anxiety and panic) when electrical stimulation was administered.

A similar study also showed inhibition of anxiety and panic in mice, whose fear was induced by the presence of a wild snake! 

These animal studies are encouraging, and can likely be supported by the anecdotal evidence of human CBD users who experience panic attacks.

Taking This Into Consideration

These studies may have a certain degree of internal validity, but when using CBD oil for yourself, doses and effects may vary. In addition, many studies showing a potentially efficacious effect of CBD are on animals, and may vary for humans. 

Due to your highly personalised genetic make – up and biochemical individuality, an effective dose for you may be different from others. In addition, the tone of your endocannabinoid system may vary, which could affect your response to CBD (and cannabinoids in general).

A good starting point is to try low doses of CBD and work your way up. Anywhere from 10mg allows you space to experiment. Doses used in studies (400 & 600mg) are considered fairly high, so before you dive into the unknown or potentially waste your CBD oil (isolated CBD may have a bell shaped curve effect compared to full spectrum extract), dip your toe in.

 According to the National Institute of Mental Health, about 18 percent of Americans experienced the symptoms of an anxiety disorder at some point over the past 12 months, making it the most common form of mental illness in the United States. Even for the rest of us, our chaotic world can still often leave us feeling overwhelmed.Regular users of psychoactive cannabis, also commonly known as marijuana, frequently report using the substance to relax after a hard day. For many people, hemp-based CBD oil can offer similar benefits, but with few side effects and without making them feel “high”.

Just as with our recent article on using CBD for pain relief, we’ve examined both the scientific evidence and anecdotal reports from regular CBD consumers online. Though there is still a lot of research to be done into CBD and anxiety, the preliminary results looks extremely promising.