Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts

Thursday, February 14, 2019

Give Thanks To for Sobriety and just for Livng

The living is a given item that God has control over us all. You may not believe in God but you might think about this twice. Every day in every way God is in my life showing me the right thing to do and the wrong . I learn like you must be learning from reading this blog that I place a lot of spiritual influence into my life to keep going through one day to the next. I take chances that could land me in trouble, I lie at times which I hope I am forgiven by God. You do not have to go to church to know God, and it might be best if you do. I am not pushing you to church but just imagine if you pray to God and your dreams come true, they will. It will not happen when you want this to happen, the signs of a spirit are shown to us every day in all different ways. To stay sober you will need a higher power such as God. I don't believe there is any other higher power except for evil or the Devil. Do you believe the devil exists? I do and yes he has crept into my life on occasion but God usually takes care of the evil thoughts and sets me straight so I do the right thing, and believe in the right spirit. Think about it. What if God could fix all your problems? I have an answer, he can if you let him. So if you are drinking,
say a prayer to God to help you stop. Meditate on this in your own way not how someone may tell you. It is best to meet Godhead on then rely on other humans. The drinking will go away but you have to take action with prayer. Have a good Valentine Day and love one another. Chris

Monday, February 4, 2019

The Superbowl Sober

Well in our country the number one show last night was the Superbowl 53 which was quite a game. I remember past Superbowls for the last ten years but beyond that, I was always drunk. Yes, beer was to be had for sure at a Superbowl party, no excuses, however, that is not true. It took me a long time to realize that every occasion something special happens is not a drinking occasion. This was one of those nights, so what did I do? I don't watch football much at all anyway, but I did enjoy being safe at home and watching the colorful game by myself, without alcohol. That is how I live my life. I am sure there were a group of AA people watching the game but I really switch between channels when I watch football. Since being sober I spend a lot of my time alone anyway and this night was no different than any other night for Chris. I am not lonely, I just prefer to enjoy what I want to do and I enjoy being by myself for the most part. When I am in groups I talk and enjoy a group crowd for a little bit then I am ready for my time. There is a new book out on people like myself that just enjoys being alone and having to entertain me is not too hard. I have a recording studio with instruments and I can let my feelings come out in my music. It is very therapeutic and it calms me when stressed, it is my alcoholic memory that use to stifle my artistic creation of music. I listen to tracks I cut back when I was high or drunk and some are good and some are terrible. Being sober they are mostly good tunes that I create and share on a different program online and make money.

So you don't have to drink on these special occasions like a football game or Christmas or when it is Monday, lol. Once you can get a grip on the fact that alcohol does you no good, will you understand what I am talking about? Life has it's up and downs and right now I am neutral in how I feel. I was hit in the rear of my new vehicle last week and usually, that would have pissed me off, but now I am just waiting for the damage to be fixed and that's all I can do. Sure I could sue this fellow for a few things but that is not what this life is about, to get back at someone that made a mistake. God knows I make several mistakes every day. Have a good one,
Chris

Wednesday, January 30, 2019

Today Is A New Day and There May not Be a Next Day

We have all heard the saying, "live today as it was your last day". This is true in life as we really don't know what will happen tomorrow, or if we will live that long. I was hit in my car by a big pickup and shattered my life for just a few seconds, what happens when you are in shock of what just happened. The one thing about accidents is when they shock you, a thought in the back of my head is ok, am I alright? Am I dead? then all of a sudden you wake up, this takes only a few milliseconds after an accident. Then you realize that you are alive and now what is my next action to be. Reality comes into play and you think of what could have happened. Like when you use to drink too much, at times you might have done this with intentions of not waking up the next morning. Then when you inflict this type of drug or pain on your body you wake up hurting and feeling worse than ever. I am pretty sure we have all tried to make ourselves miserable but not on purpose usually. If I could only drink a case of beer and wake up feeling good and up early in the morning not thinking of how bad my head hurts and that nasty taste in my mouth from beer in the morning.

Life is unusual, we all test our limits or at least I have in most everything I do.I am sober almost 10 years and I have no desire to take one drink. I think that is a miracle from God as it was difficult to quit and also I stopped smoking cigs. So that is two habits that I stopped at a treatment center because I wanted to, and I pray about it daily and still read and go to AA meetings. I don't rely on anything but myself for not drinking. I do believe that AA is very important to go to, however, it can become old and addictive in itself. However, it is good for your soul when your tired and lonely, go to an AA meeting and get something good out of it. Usually, you will.

Living one day at a time is still difficult for me as I look toward the future. I do not think it is bad, to actually predict what I might do the next day if God lets me live for this day. We have to make plans but yes they do get altered, and sometimes a surprise will come about in a good way that we did not expect. So try to stay sober one day at a tie, go to AA when you need it, and pray to God for letting you live in the moment. Chris

Saturday, January 5, 2019

Addictions, Addictions and Addictions for Sober People

One addiction to another addiction. That is how my life seems to be right now. I have fought off the alcohol addiction then it leads me into the gambling addiction. I have a chocolate addiction, and I have obsessive thought addiction and the list goes on and on. My sister in town for the holidays said Chris, just take one problem at a time. Well, she is right but I have so many problems at a time which one to start with. People that are sober and in the AA program talk of how happy they are right now sober. I have to admit I am happier sober than when I drank all the time. I wonder if this is the happiness recovering alcoholics are talking about. My daily living is a struggle at times, however, and it takes control over my mind and body. I get worn out from the stress I put on myself, therefore, I start another addiction to something. I don't even try but it seems as though I cannot get enough done in one day or do this or that right. I am a perfectionist and it bums me out to make mistakes as I do. I have tried talking to God about my problems and even read a "Prayer for Today", website daily to keep my spirit in shape.

That was a mouthful, but true. I have so many things running in my mind that I get anxiety thinking sometimes. I have to learn to control my thought pattern and refocus on God the spirit that leads my every day. Maybe, God is testing my sobriety. My mom was in the hospital over Christmas and I was worried that we were going to lose her. I was stressed but I was ready to accept what every person has to go through called death. She pulled out of her sickness and is now at home. I am very grateful to God for letting me have more time with my Mother. She is my world, I am the youngest of the kids at 55 and I love her dearly. Life throws me curve balls and I have to bat them out the baseball park, the devil is trying to grab at me I guess but I will not have it. Have
 a good day. Chris

Tuesday, December 4, 2018

Nine years of Sobriety and 5 Months of CBD Buds

Like I have said before I write this journal or blog for myself. I am not trying to impress anyone or tell my whole life story. Recently for the past five or six months, I have been trying CBD , which if you do not know what it is let me explain.
CBD from Hemp is what I was smoking, it does not get a person high but it does have healing properties for much medical use. Now, what medical use did I use it for was anxiety or panic? I will say that I tried Vaping CBD, and I thought it did nothing. Then I found out you could buy this like Marijuana flowers or buds. I purchased the Buds legally at a Vape store in my city. I rolled up Hemp cigarettes and smoked a few hits over the span of the last few months. The funny thing is I felt like it was helping me with Panic and possibly was, or was it just that I missed the taste of real pot and the smell and buds were beautiful. The only problem is CBD is not regulated nor is specified what type of Nutrient, Hemp can be, plus the negative bonus of having .03% THC in Hemp plants can cause a false positive on a drug test.

Well, how the hell can they sell stuff like CBD and my city law is not doing anything about it, yet a federal law says it is legal but also illegal at the same time. I decided to completely stop smoking Hemp Buds the other day. They were not bothering me , however I did not want to start another addiction to a Nutrient, Drug, or whatever it is that is being sold all over the USA in disguise and too many questions of the legal authority to use or not use this CBD is not clear yet in Texas and many other states.

I will say I did not drink with my use but I am not sure where this may fit into my sobriety for nine years. Did I blow it by smoking Hemp? I am not sure, but I am thinking, No. It is my life and I got no high but I was curious and tried this as a medicine for my panic attacks.I do not think I can judge others for trying CBD as I have read everything good about it except for the .03% THC that might cause you to fail a drug test. Very confusing, any answers to this would be appreciated. Have a good day. Chris

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Darkness for the Alcoholic and Drug User

I have been very busy at work and loving my job. I am making good money, probably the best I have ever made. No problems with my boss or anything, able to afford to buy a new car. I have everything, sobriety, a new car , a life. What happened. I was tempted last night to start smoking pot .

So why would I start smoking pot when all is going good? I did not think about the negative or darkness that I might be putting myself into again, its has been almost 9 years now with no drinking or drugs, then on a Saturday night, I get the urge to smoke pot. I found a person on CL and i went to meet him with 140.00 in cash to buy some Hydro Pot. I meet with this guy I don't know and he jumps in my new car and I give him the money and he dispersal
..lol He fucking ran off with my cash. Was I mad , no. That was weird, this guy just took my cash and hauled ass. I actually thought that I was buying from a guy that needed to get rid of what he had and went to his car to get my drug. I waited only 20 minutes and texted him and never heard back. I told him I guess you borrowed my money, No answer..I am glad he stole from me last night, I am not mad at what he did or mad at myself, I am just glad he needed this cash more than I needed the pot. God was watching out for me and the darkness.

Sounds stupid I know but I awoke feeling like I got high last night, but it was guilt that I actually was going to go through the hell I put myself through 9 years ago, not even thinking about ifI got caught by the police. I would of lost my job, my family would of been crushed, and the darkness would become real.

The lesson for me here, is I want the light that I live right now, AA will not keep you sober but it might help. Only I can keep Chris sober, and my relationship to God. I was blessed that I got spanked for trying to buy pot last night by having a piece of me , my money taken from me. The story of when things get going good you better watch out, is so very true. That is what happened, my life is going good and i wanted to taste the bud again in my mouth and nose. I love the smell of pot , always will, but it casued me problems and I don't need the problems. The kid did me a favor by taking my money and not returning. I feel stupid of course, but I have enough money that it did not hurt me that bad, which is good so in the long run, I did not go to jail , for having drugs and i did not screw up my sobriety. I have to be careful. I need to find a NA group maybe today. Oh well thought I would mention this for my blog. Have a God Filled sober day! Chris

Friday, July 7, 2017

Grateful For What God Has So Freely Given Me

It is easy for me to get lost in my problems with life and forget to be grateful for those things in which God has given me. It is easy to get lost in the confusion of the day and realize that I am sober from alcohol and drugs and should be grateful that God has given me the strength to carry forward in this life. I am grateful to be able to type this at 8:00 AM on Friday morning because eight years ago I sure would of not been doing this blog. I was always hung over and to combat the hangover I would smoke a joint upon waking then the cycle of the addiction would take over my day.

I believe we all have all sorts of issues we have to deal with on a daily basis. The best way I prepare for the next day is to not expect that I will have another next day, I give it to God in prayer at night and ask him to do for me what I can't do for myself and to guide me , that is about it. Upon waking the next morning , surprise phone calls or seeing my dog wag her tail at me in enthusiasm is a wonderful start to a new day. My days are not perfect, and I still have my faults but I am clear headed and make some sense of what I am doing for the most part of the day. I try to help another human being out as often as I can but I forget to do this also, and then it comes natural. Helping another person out takes me out of self and makes me feel useful to this life. I am ever so grateful for God in making me a sober individual that my family wants to be around, and my friends also. This is a blessing, even the computers I have to write this blog are miracles to have considering when I was in my addiction I had no car or anything of materials as I sold most all twice in my life to afford my addiction to alcohol and drugs. I hit bottom so many times , I have lost count, I don't think this will happen again, or i at least pray for this not to be the case for me. Have a grateful Day, Chris

Friday, June 9, 2017

Sobriety and The Family

Well, I celebrated with my AA friends and my family my eight years of sobriety the other night at my AA group. It was nice, and words when I spoke just seem to come from the spirit inside me out to those in attendance. It was a a good night as my mother came to this event. There was a older fellow there who had 22 years of sobriety , which made it even better. The family suffers from the turmoil and crap you or I put them through in the years when I was in my addiction. When they have seen you have some consistency with being sober, it just becomes normal for them, as they do not know how you might be struggling with living sober now. That is why I go to AA, is how to learn life on life's terms not mine. To live a life where God is the only way and direction to head. Follow what the spirit of God tells you to do and try to stay on track during the day and things will go better.

The family is grateful that you are sober when you get some time behind your belt. They laugh with you and most of the time the past will stay in the past. However , this is not always true. The reason for going to AA is for dealing with these issues in which we cannot get away from in our past and to live in the now, or present.The family will become more and more trusting as time goes by day from day, it does take a while for them to come around, but eventually they see my changes and then treat me accordingly to these positive new mental attitudes I may now have in life. I get a little bit crazy sometimes and lonely because I am a recovering alcoholic, but that just means I am not doing something constructive with my time or I need a meeting or to talk with my sponsor about what is bothering me. Use your sponsor , that is what he is there for. Have a great Day. Chris

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Enjoy Your Kids Sober

I am very blessed with a fine young man that is my son. He does not live with myself , but he is 23 also. He is so very special even from day one. He was and is a quite young man and handsome , he does not smoke or drink , and never has done drugs or even said a cuss word for all I know. Almost incredible , I know. He is my Angel from God , and I do worry about him as he isolates himself because he has Autism or some form of this , and he is a happy guy at least. He lives with his mom and her husband , which I am glad he does, as I worry about his down time. They seem to keep a good eye out for him. He is one of the major reasons I got sober and it was to do with court and my ex wife. But time passes and he grew up with a dad that has always loved him. He never has let me down, which I cannot say about myself. I let my parents down all the time for over thirty years. I only cared about what Chris could get out of them. I was not responsible and even being a sober man of my age , stll have problems with responsibility issues, with a lot of issues in that fact.

AA has helped me get a grip on life, as I don't push AA on people, this is a very private thing , however I do make it known at times, because I want to. I live each day grateful that I have what I do , such as my son. If I had a son that was like me growing up , I could not afford to get him out of trouble like I was. I never hurt anyone on purpose, but that is what alcoholics do, and don't realize, is we hurt the ones we love the most. This thought never even hit my head until I sobered up. My son , thank God, never saw me in a state of being drunk , because I did not want him to see me this way. He was and still to an extent a little bit in awe about what alcohol and drugs have done to me. He ask questions and I tell him the truth. However he loves me and lately I see more of him because he wants to see me. This has recently been the case. He drives over and sometimes we just don't know what to do with each other. We sit in quite and peace and maybe that is what he likes when he comes over. I don't want to bore him, yet I isolate myself pretty good , and I am still working on this. In a town such as Midland , the number one thing to do is go to nightclubs for the single set. I have not even stepped into a bar in over eight years, as I know this is not for me. I stay home and watch TV or get on the computer and browse for sport cars I can't afford. I always stay busy doing something that is beneficial to my brain or just resting on occasion.It is hard to really know what the real normal people do in their lives. I seem to think I might be acting like one now. They don't sit around and drink theirs elves into oblivion like i use to and light up a joint and watch TV. I did this for so many years that eight years of not doing this has thrown me off. I am working at this however, slowly but surely I am regaining a little bit of sense to my life.
God makes sure that we live in the moment, and this is difficult at times and God loves you and me. The future I try to let God inform me, but this is difficult as I am the one who acts on my feelings. I pray and pray, but I am not struggling with a alcohol problem now, it is just a living problem. I guess this is just life.Have a good Night. Chris Hyer

Monday, June 5, 2017

2017 , A Year that Has Been Different

2017, started off on a whim of a year for me. I met a girl on the first day of this year and we dated and it ended as quickly as it started,. So life goes on, but I have had a hard time finding a job I am qualified for, with so many descriptions of what I do , it makes me wonder , how things will turn out. Being alcoholic and staying sober for eight years has been fairly easy , but my life gets a little more crazy at times. I do have a new job so I am thankful , and I plan to stick with it. I guess I feel I am better than the work that I find at times, but for almost 30 years of continuous drinking and smoking pot and then getting sober , what can I say.I celebrate my AA Birthday this week with my friends at the 12 Step group in Midland, Texas, and that is always good. The story pretty much stays the same but the years events always change just like if one was sober, so nothing really new here.

I guess you could say I am very blessed to have both of my parents alive. My brother and sister and I do have a son that I love very much. I have to think of all the good that has happened in my life, and try to forget most of the past or at least know what not to do , so I don't ever have to start over in AA again. This is the longest I have stayed sober ever. I should pat myself on the back. The daily life problems are there , but it is learning how to deal with them which is the trick to staying sober.I hear about all the addictions out on the news and I am glad that I am not dealing with this right now, and very much thank God for what he has given me a second or third chance to make my life better. Have a good day. Chris

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Sober and What Becomes when We stay Sober

I have a lot on my plate lately, but it has been good and different. Lost my step father, however , I know he is with God. I am
not sad, just motivated to start my life on a new turn.I have been lookig for another job, as the one I have is not what I like to do. I have prayed about this daily and my prayers are coming true. I have had a few consultants call me on jobs that I like to do. Times in Midland are booming again with the oil field picking up and that brings in more business and retail shops, plus high prices.I will take advantage of the time I have and focus on the reality of being sober and alive. At times , I feel really lonely but then I get a glimpse of how lucky and fortunate I have in my life. I am thankful that I am not in a wheel chair , I am thankful I have some money, and food, plus a house that has musical instruments for me to pass the time, and hopefully get better.I have more than I deserve in material things, and yes most of it has been put o credit cards, so work has to continue.I like work and meeting new people, and I like doing certain types of work. Now I have a choice and that makes life a bit easier. However I am sober,and if not for AA and my program I could not feel this way. When a person gets off the beer or whatever, they have plenty of free time, at first . Then after a few years you realize this free time is just not there for drinking. I look back and made my free time available for smoking pot and drinking beer. I did not get much out of it except for misery in the end.

 This misery has stopped eight years ago, however it does get replaced by something called isolation time. This isolation time is not too good either, a little bit is ok. To rest and pray and relax is all good and healthy, but not all day long...lol...I think my age of 54 is starting to slip it's ugly head in, as I know what I want but at times what I want is not what others want . I do miss having a girl to love, I have met one recently in AA and she was a sweetheart , so I thought, then she shut me down like I did not exist, so beware of other alcoholics that you might like to date. We are still sick in a fashion, just not sick from doing the wrong things. God Bless Chris Hit THE FOLLOW BUTTON FOR MORE

Thursday, May 4, 2017

Death In the Family and Sober Living

Well, I have lost my step father yesterday to what I will call old age. He was 81 and a bit over weight and had complications for years. It was not sudden, he had struggled in and out of hospitals for the past year. He was a jolly guy that was a sharp dresser and smart and funny. A real good hearted man that was always nice to my family and very kind.It is hard to find people like this in the world, he was always a giving nature person. He will be missed and for some reason I am not sad of his death, maybe it has not hit me yet. I am happy that his suffering is over , is how I feel. He liked recovering alcoholics,he thought we were good people, and he was pleased with my struggles in life. Like I said he had no mean bone in his body, just a big Teddy Bear and a heart as big as Texas.

How do we deal with death as a sober person? I guess just like we deal with daily living. We pray and remember the good times, and go about our day. Living one day at a time. We don't try to look back in our past and we treasure every moment we are  alive as this is a short life we are given. If staying sober is your thing , you will get more out of life than you bargain for. Sometimes good and sometimes bad, but most of the bad turns good at some point. When drinking it was always bad except when we were drinking and even then reflecting on being drunk it was bad at many times trying to forget the present. God works with each and every one of us in his own way. I pray that you have found your way as I think I am living my way God had intended. God Bless Chris

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Tuesday Sober and Working

Well I made it through my first day on Monday and it was all pretty good. My trainer is a good person and very easy to get along with. He has a great attitude. Today is the real test because I will be doing the job I was hired for and seeing how I like it. I must like it because there is nothing else to do. I think this will work out to be a good job ass I get to travel a little and the only bad part is the waking up at 4:30 AM to get ready to go. But that is a small price to pay in order to have a paying job. I have gotten a little relaxed in the waking up department but today was not bad. It is better to be sober and waking up and doing the things that normal people do. That is what sobriety is all about is waking up to a new day and doing Gods work and trying to do my best for God. I can only do so much but I am heaalthy and I am eager so with these qualities I shoulld be alright. God Bless..Chris

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Everything happens, When nothing seems Possible Sober

Well, I have had a great weekend. I started off with getting hired for a job that requires a lot of traveling and this is fine. Followed by a girlfriend of mine who came back into my life and wanted to go out Friday night. When things look bleak in sobriety, beware because something big is probably about to happen for the good. I have been a little depressed over the last few weeks , and I still kept my head up high knowing that something good would become from all the resumes I have put out and staying busy with my program and AA. It never fails as God comes into my life daily even though I feel he has left me, and brings me big surprises. That is how sobreity works, not expecting anything really and when your down keep busy helping others and it will come back to help you. That is how eight years of living has been for me. I forget at times this rule of thumb. God never forgets me however, he just keeps me outside of myself and I get loaded up with ideas of what I can do to make life better for myself and my friends.

Don't give in or give up when you are sober and this is an easy thing to do when alll in life is not where you want to be at. In time God will listen and change your direction and guide you in a way that might not be your way but his way of getting you out of situations that use to baffle us. We use to drink when we could not find an answer or drink because we found an answer. However drinking did us no long term good, in the short term drinking let us forget the past, and future of our problems. Then you wake up and wonder why you feel like shit and the same roller coaster ride begins again and again. I can honestly say I don't miss that about drinking. Hope you have a good day. Chri

Sunday, April 9, 2017

"The Shack" a Book about a conception of God

I have been reading a book called , "The Shack", I am not an avid reader but a member of AA was talking on night about the different conceptions of God that we all have. This book and movie is right on target with a person's conception of God and it is really an enjoyment to read. The movie has already come out and I was able to see this movie and it seemed to follow the book pretty well. I highly suggest this to those who have a problem with AA and the God conception in our lives. Yes, I know the book is fiction but in reality it could be the truth. It is a joyful book about a tragedy
that has happened to this man and his family, but ends on a good note. To stay sober means one has to believe in a power greater than himself. This is proven over and over in AA meetings and in my personal life. Sometimes we might feel that God has failed us, but if you look deeper , he may be teaching us a lesson that makes us better human beings. For those who do not believe in a God , if you stick around AA and hear the miracles of the different people speaking , you will have to believe in something that is more powerful than you are. Kepp your mind open and your heart full of love, and help others that may be trying to recover just like yourself. To stay outside of yourself can be hard to do , but once you do this activity , you will feel the goodness that becomes over your spirit and body.

I am not expert in AA and yes I have my problems in life, but they are part of living in a world full of obstacles that can set you apart from the creator. I am guilty of so many things in my life but I ask for forgiveness and I receive this at times. We all have reality in which we have to live in , and to isolate ourselves is a dangerous thing to do, but very easy to get into the habit of isolation. Try to do the things you want to do that wil help someone else and this isolation will go away for a while. I am guilty of this isolation in this smal town I live in as I say well ther is nothing to do. However there is plenty to do at my home and with other people that might make a difference in your life. Have a good Week. Chris

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Good Things About being Sober

Monday I went to San Antonio with my AA sponsor to a meeting in which my sponsor Eddie was to speech
. We had a good time talking on the trip down there and then we hit the meeting in town and he got a standing ovation. Very proud of him and he was proud that I went with him on the 5 hour trip. On the way back on Tuesday to Midland I was called for a second interview with a company I have been trying to get on with in employment. I returned home and this was a phone interview and I had passed my electronics test and personality test , so I was pretty happy. This is a miracle from god that we talk about in AA , and how God works in our lives when we least expect it. Anyway I was invited to my last interview to be held on Thursday morning over the phone again with the hiring manager, so I would assume I am pretty well hired, but I won't know until Thursday.

Sobriety and giving back was was freely given to me is what this AA program is all about. Working the steps and getting out of self is a major part of staying sober as well. Taking your medication as directed is part of the program. Put all these together and you will have a healthy lifestyle working for one day at a time. I am living proof of the miracles and the confusion I bring to the table of a recovering alcoholic. I have fought the system and things in my life just did not work out, even when I thought I was in the right. God has blessed me , even in the hard times of my life as written in this blog with a better life when I let go and do something for others than myself. God Bless and have a good day. Chris

Sunday, April 2, 2017

Moving on with a Sober Life

Well, I have hit a few hurdles in my last few post on this blog. I am back on my medication, as it works and I can function. Be careful what others say to you and about your life. You are the only one living in your own body and you know what works and what does not. Alcohol does not seem to work in any one soul out there that can drink to oblivion. Treatment is a must for the first time alcoholic who suffers and it is usually a good thing for those who are not familiar with the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. If you drink and you are out of control, please seek help, and try to stick with meetings and work the 12 steps of AA as fast as you can in recovery. This will get you feeling better in the long run and will get you familiar with the steps in your life and how they will change your life. By the grace of God , I am still sober even after putting myself through hell, on getting off the medication I am taking, but I am taking it as prescribed and feel like it must be the correct medication as I feel normal now. We all have some emotional or depression in our lives when we sober up. There is a reason why we drank, and although drinking is a disease there are underlying reasons why we drank. Talk to a Doctor and find out these reasons or maybe working the 12 steps you will find a little part of yourself that you can work on to make you happier and not so gloom.

Panic runs deep into my family, my father has it and he still drinks and my son has it and he takes medication as I do for to control the panic. It is a mental disorder that I have and my son has, and it must run in the genes. I cannot control this as I have tried ever since I was a 16 year old boy. I drank alcohol because of my panic attacks, as it was a sedative and kept me calm. I was not a rowdy drunk but I drank on a daily basis so I could get out of my house and try to be normal. I had to come to terms with my Panic Disorder and realize that I needed outside help from a Doctor and I sought this help. Many people in AA frown upon what I am doing but let them frown as I need to socialize and be as normal as most people out there in the world and function . If you have panic disorder, please send me a note and tell me about it. I would appreciate this very much. Thank You Chris Hyer 4/2/2017

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Sobriety and Living with the Power of God

I live with the power of God every day. That does not mean every day is going to be perfect, and by far this is not true. It means for me to stay sober, I have to hand over a lot of what is on my mind to God.
So , just how does a person do this? Well, for me it takes asking a prayer for God to take a hold of the situation and guide me through it the best he can. Very simple step right? However, I doubt God at times but have all my faith in him to bring me out of myself and gain control over my life. This has been an ongoing process for the last 8 years, and it seems to work. I do not stress as much as when I try to run the show. When I let my higher power take over my day or moment, it usually turns out pretty good and I stay active in keeping my human body functioning doing the right thing in life.

I have been a musician for most of my life but have not perfected theory of music , so I am now working on this with my guitars. I feel that it will make me a better guitar player and more musically inclined to step out and play for people and let them enjoy the music I play. I have always played several instruments but never really stayed with just one. This time, I will take it one instrument at a time, just like the AA program, and master one at a time. This is now what I do in my spare time instead of watching TV and isolating myself from the world. It feels good to know I am progressing in my music and it brings joy and pain to my fingers as I practice for about 4- 5 hours a day while my paperwork is processed for my new position in work. This takes about two weeks I am told. There is nothing else I can think of to do. I am an
artist that oil paints and I have this to tackle also as I could be a better painter if I chose to learn more abut my art.

There are a lot of things God may put in your life that is just right in your home that you may want to be better at and this keeps your mind busy and occupied. I believe God wants us to be creative no matter what age we are. Have a Blessed Day..Chris Hyer

Monday, September 12, 2016

Sobriety Curve Balls In our Social Living

Its is Monday 9/12/2016 and a pretty day in Western Texas, I have almost 9 years of sobriety as of this time of year. I have just let go of one full- time job that has lasted almost a year. Why the curve ball has been thrown ? Well, the job was boring and not very interesting to myself. It Paid the bills but I have another job lined up that will do the same, pay the bills. God works in ways that I do not understand , nor or we suppose to understand why God works his miracles in the way he does with us. I have been wanting to leave this former company for months and when the opportunity came and I found another position in which I am interested , I changed like a normal person would.

Now that is not to say I am normal because to me a normal person is one who can drink normal and still hold a job and so the definition of normality is hard to be defined. I am normal in the fact that I pray to God , go to AA meetings and try to live the way God would want me to live. I am 53 and yes I am still stubborn in my ways. I am single with one child who is 24 and I am very proud to call him my son, and he loves me. These things I know because now, he can tell me and wants to be around me. We are not very close but close enough to understand that when I am sober he really takes a liking to me.A very fine young man that does not cuss, drink or smoke and works as a cashier for a grocery store in Midland, Texas. He has thrown me a curve ball in how he lives his life, very quite he is and loving and clean.That is all I can be thankful for is he does not have tattoos and not doing drugs and alcohol like his Daddy did. I am very blessed.

I am blessed also with a clear conscious mind that I am doing the right and legal things in my life and not having to look back to see if I have done wrong. That is a plus in sobriety is looking forward  and to the future no matter what age you may be. The Lord has my back all the time and he watches out for me , and when i feel I may be doing something wrong I feel it and retract. God either is or he is not, what is he to you. God Bless Chris Hyer 9/12/2016

Monday, August 29, 2016

God is a Driving Force in My Sobriety

What drives us to change and do better or worse. There is a power greater than myself in that drives my spirit up or down. Possibly the downward spiral of myself is from my own actions. I may not include God in everything that I do, while trying to keep in touch with God I lose touch. I have a spiritual connection with God and I have, to be honest, that I use this sometimes when things are rough and not when life is moving forward in my sobriety and just plain living. Living without a connection to God is self- imposed and it can be very easy to start playing God when you forget that you are not God. People say to me at times, have a Blessed Day! I think these people are more spiritual than I am because it comes so natural for these individuals to say this. I also find that when I am told this remark that I feel better about my day. I try to copy these people and say ,:Have a blessed Day", as I know what it feels to have a clerk at a convenience store say this to me, and when it feels good it must be good.

When it is right and feels good then it must be God working in my life. If I do something wrong and I question what I might be doing then I must be disobeying the spirit of God that resides in me. To stay sober one must believe in God to keep going through the day. I have to do this and I practice praying to my friend, " God" on an hourly basis. No one said this God thing would be easy , but at times it really can be to get yourself through the next hurdle of life. Have a great day Chris Hyer

Time Moves Forward with a Clear Head

Alcohol, and drugs can blur our minds, and make us believe in things that are not true. When I sobered up , reality was hard to handle . I b...