Is Alcohol a Disease?

Is Alcohol a Disease? The final conclusion I found is that it is an addiction for the brain, and destroys the liver and affects the lives around us. The AMA does not conclude that this is a disease but a mental illness. One that can be controlled only by quitting and stopping the obsession to desire for a alcoholic drink. The only way for me was God and AA.

Why am I here tonight? I gave up drinking and smoking 10 years ago because the two chemicals I was using were keeping me awake and therefore I was having delusions. My brain was deteriorating. I was speaking so fast that I could not keep my words up to my thoughts, I knew I was dying, but I accepted this as a part of me. I liked being a speed talker and not listening, I was right you were wrong. I was really just plain sick!!

Why AA? Three years of being dry, I wanted to be around others that were not drinking. I started coming to AA weekly. I got a sponsor this time around and God bless him as he is my friend also who is a pilot, one occupation I always wanted to be.

What is the future for me? I cannot predict the future but I can say I will not go back to drinking. How can I say this, I just look back to the last time I hit bottom, and the distress I did to myself and my Mother.

The Steps of AA Why? This is a way of living for anyone wanting to quit anything, eating to much ice cream, drinking too much, quitting a habit is what the 12 step program is. It is spiritual and connects one to God and God is either everything or he is nothing. I chose that God is everything to me.

How I made it 10 years? One day at a time and praying each and every morning and night for God to be with me and my family and to please keep me sober one more day. This is so easy but I had to believe and I do. God exist in each and every one of us, even the agnostic person who hates God, God is with you. Just look around and see the plants and animals, these are not scientific these are God given gifts.

My mother—She has stuck with me over 53 years and never let up on me, Yes she and I do not agree on some things but in recent years, I have learned that she is smarter than I gave her credit for. I have so much to learn from her. God blessed me a good life and I shall keep it as good as I can.

The End- God created us to be friendly and loving towards each other, this can be difficult. We run to alcohol and drugs to make life easier, but it is temporary until we want to feel good again, then we indulge even more alcohol and more stronger drugs. Until we reach a point our bodies can’t take it. Then we crash or hit our bottom. You either die or get help and help yourself. No one can do this program for you.

I have A Online Store Go Help an AA Guy out!

Hello, it is a beautiful cloudy day in the sober land today and I was thinking, Hey I got an online store that I need to plug into this blog of mine. I have about 2k readers a month on here. I never intended on getting people to read my alcoholic writing but it seems some have an interest in my life. So here is another part of it. Go to 925silverring.com and support your fellow alcoholic in trying to make a living online. They are ladies rings. Anyway, it is a nice day here and to wake up not hungover is an everyday blessing for almost 10 years now. It gets normal after a few years that is just how I am, clear-headed and ready to accomplish something every day.

I am sponsoring a guy right now, but I am not really good at it. I let the person take their time and get used to being around recovering alcoholics and then work the Big Book with them if we get a chance. I am no better than the man that just came out of treatment and a drink away from being the person I refuse to go back to. After time in AA you realize this new life is just how it is, the good and the negative. There really is not a negative, there is I don't drink time. The times when you use to drink you just do not do those things anymore and day by day it becomes a challenge and then easier. It takes time, Hell I was a wreck my first year, so my heart pours out for those starting a road to recovery, as it seems like time can go by slow in the start. I am blessed by God in so many ways that I get used to the blessings of my family and how valuable time spent with those you love is so important.

I wish all alcoholics and druggies to have a special week and try to enjoy the small things in life. Love your family and wife as never before because
 the next day may not come for all of us. God Bless Today

Alcoholic ? Now How Can I be One if I Don't Drink Anymore

I have a problem with AA. How could I be an alcoholic if I freakin don't drink anymore? Good question I think and I am sure if you are a recovering or recovered alcoholic you had to ask this question to your self. Is it because we call ourselves alcoholics to impress others in AA. I would like to stand up and say "Hello I'm Chris and I am here to learn how to live life without drugs or alcohol, can you help me"?Maybe someone has said this in a meeting. I should because that is why I go to AA meetings and to learn how to live through the Big Book of AA is fine in the 1930s when it was written at least the initial book. I find a lot of biblical information on how I should live in this book, but does it need to be rewritten to the time we are now living in?

I listen to old timers say the same old shit day after day sometimes, and I can tell you what they are doing right now. They are at an AA meeting telling the same old shit again, sometimes three or four times a day at different clubs. I am not mad but AA to myself needs to deal with the present day, not back in the drinking day,cause for some of us, and only a few of us, do not have to drink today nor have even thought about it, but we have thought of what am I to do now that I don't party on a Friday or Saturday night, and I get back the same answers, go to an AA meeting.

I don't know about people in AA, they are strangers at meetings I do not attend regularly, How do you trust these newcomers coming in than going back out then coming back in and so forth. I never give out my address to a sponsee and rarely give my number to a stranger, because if they go back and get drunk, they might call me at 2AM in the morning and I go to bed at 9PM cause I have had it with the day and I get lots of sleep and wake up at 630AM almost every day. This is a habit that I got into just like not drinking or buying beer or pot. I have a habit of not looking at beer and not hanging around and body that smokes dope. I think that is the key to sobriety and it is hard for a guy to not want to go to the bars and have a drink, I can do it but just for so long, then I have to go cause these people are having too much fun and my thinking is or you poor bastard your going to hurt like I use to.I plan to be pretty old when I can't type anymore. God Bless and Have a Good Night. Chris
and wake up drinking like I use to do, .However, that may not be true it is what goes through my head. See, I think people that go to bars go to get fucked up, but I am wrong because I have seen a small percentage have a half beer and leave or keep sitting there talking with that half beer, drink that bitch is what I am thinking. Hurt like your supposes to. I know they are not me and I am glad I am not trying to be them, cause I mess up badly when I drink. Nine years sober this month I have and I have AA and the spirit of my God for this. Sure I have tried a few things that might cut through my sobriety but it was not alcohol, and or drugs. Remeber I write this as a journal of how I feel and not for your pleasure but for mine. Someday I will look back at all the stupid and not so stupid things I have written

Sobriety and The Family

Well, I celebrated with my AA friends and my family my eight years of sobriety the other night at my AA group. It was nice, and words when I spoke just seem to come from the spirit inside me out to those in attendance. It was a a good night as my mother came to this event. There was a older fellow there who had 22 years of sobriety , which made it even better. The family suffers from the turmoil and crap you or I put them through in the years when I was in my addiction. When they have seen you have some consistency with being sober, it just becomes normal for them, as they do not know how you might be struggling with living sober now. That is why I go to AA, is how to learn life on life's terms not mine. To live a life where God is the only way and direction to head. Follow what the spirit of God tells you to do and try to stay on track during the day and things will go better.

The family is grateful that you are sober when you get some time behind your belt. They laugh with you and most of the time the past will stay in the past. However , this is not always true. The reason for going to AA is for dealing with these issues in which we cannot get away from in our past and to live in the now, or present.The family will become more and more trusting as time goes by day from day, it does take a while for them to come around, but eventually they see my changes and then treat me accordingly to these positive new mental attitudes I may now have in life. I get a little bit crazy sometimes and lonely because I am a recovering alcoholic, but that just means I am not doing something constructive with my time or I need a meeting or to talk with my sponsor about what is bothering me. Use your sponsor , that is what he is there for. Have a great Day. Chris

Good Things About being Sober

Monday I went to San Antonio with my AA sponsor to a meeting in which my sponsor Eddie was to speech
. We had a good time talking on the trip down there and then we hit the meeting in town and he got a standing ovation. Very proud of him and he was proud that I went with him on the 5 hour trip. On the way back on Tuesday to Midland I was called for a second interview with a company I have been trying to get on with in employment. I returned home and this was a phone interview and I had passed my electronics test and personality test , so I was pretty happy. This is a miracle from god that we talk about in AA , and how God works in our lives when we least expect it. Anyway I was invited to my last interview to be held on Thursday morning over the phone again with the hiring manager, so I would assume I am pretty well hired, but I won't know until Thursday.

Sobriety and giving back was was freely given to me is what this AA program is all about. Working the steps and getting out of self is a major part of staying sober as well. Taking your medication as directed is part of the program. Put all these together and you will have a healthy lifestyle working for one day at a time. I am living proof of the miracles and the confusion I bring to the table of a recovering alcoholic. I have fought the system and things in my life just did not work out, even when I thought I was in the right. God has blessed me , even in the hard times of my life as written in this blog with a better life when I let go and do something for others than myself. God Bless and have a good day. Chris

Being Positive in a Negative Thought in Sobriety or Life Itself

Say stop in situations where you know you cannot think straight.

Sometimes when I am hungry or when I am lying in bed and are about to go to
sleep negative thoughts start buzzing around in my mind.

In the past they could do quite a bit of damage. Nowadays I have become good at
catching them quickly and to say to myself:

No, no, we are not going to think about this now.

I know that when I am hungry or sleepy then my mind sometimes tend to be
vulnerable to not thinking clearly and to negativity.

So I follow up my “no, no…” phrase and I say to myself that I will think this
situation or issue through when I know that my mind will work much better.

For example, after I have eaten something or in the morning after I have gotten
my hours of sleep.

I know from experience that when I revisit a situation with some level-headed
thinking then in 80% of the cases the issue is very small to nonexistent.

And if there is a real issue then my mind is prepared to deal with it in a much
better and more constructive way.

Say stop to getting lost in vague fears.

Another trap that I have fallen into many times that have spurred on
overthinking is that I have gotten lost in vague fears about a situation in my life.
And so my mind running wild has created disaster scenarios about what could
happen if I do something.

So I have learned to ask myself: honestly, what is the worst that could happen?

And when I have figured out what the worst that could happen actually is then I
can also spend a little time to think about what I can do if that often pretty
unlikely thing happens.

I have found that the worst that could realistically happen is usually something
that is not as scary as what my mind running wild with vague fear could produce. 

Finding clarity in this way usually only takes a few minutes and bit of energy and
it can save you a lot of time and suffering.

The new Year 2017 Sober Living and Other Such Things

2016 was just another year for life to move forward. I had my ups and downs in 2016. I cannot say it was my best year nor can I say it was my worse year. I can say this much for 2016, that my family was very supportive of my sobriety more each year as I keep growing in sobriety. That is a great thing for Chris this last year. I have also grown up as a preson and made many mistakes and many mistakes were learned so I don't do them again. Sobriety is a growing lifestyle and the more involved one gets with the AA program and the people that are in AA the more you will grow as a person. I am living proof of this. Sure I sometimes do not want to go to meetings and yes I don't go some days, but it is when I go and learn from each time that I go what I missed from not showing up for the missed meetings. My group is small so we all know most every ones story, but there is a book to be made about the living aspects of each one's lives. We are there in fact to live sober and deal with crisis and learn how to react . That is what AA should be about is the newcomer who knows not which way to go in this new life of sobriety. We are there to give guidance , and help them, if they don't want it we don't force it as they sometimes come back for good to the meetings.

There is no quick conclusion to staying sober, just not taking the drink is most important. If you can conquer that aspect of the program then you are ready to grow. Once you start living the spiritual life then your whole world will turn around, and many good things will happen to your life. I know because I was homeless a few times and when I went to AA and did not like feeling dirty I was not pushed away but greeted to stay on with the group, that was many years ago, but it could happen with just one drink. So 2017 is here and we are all growing up in our bodies and our minds and who knows what is around the corner for us to help for our own sake of sobriety. Thuis should be the year you help one person at least . If all the readers from this blog just helped one alcoholic that would be over 30000 alcoholics that were justified as being exposed to the sober non drinker. Many AA groups grow upon the Holidays. I have to admit it is a hard time for myself, but I made it one more year, and this is my ninth year of sobriety I am going on. Good Luck and may God be with you today. Chris Hyer 2017

Christmas and The Sober Individual

Christmas 2016 is almost here on the calendar. I can feel the mood in the people on the streets and in the stores. People buying what will probably be a return, and people driving crazy all over town , trying to get where they want in as little time it takes. Yes, to me this is Christmas madness, but it happens every sober year I have been around. That would be eight years of sobriety, and suring these last eight years, Christmas has been dfferent for myself. I usually end up having lunch with my mother and her husband and then go home like another day.
They say in AA that we should not isolate ourselves, but I do tend to do this quite often. I don't know what to do at times of joy and Holidays, except for to be closer with my family. They are all spread out over the USA, and rarely do we ever get together , unless there is a funeral. Thank God, no funerals this year, nor have we had one in my family so I assuming that people will show up for funerals. Gone are the days of handing out Christmas presents to children, however good gestures in helping out mankind have taken place with me. I have had a few extra dollars and I have given them to those in AA whom are in a bad spot, why? because I was one of them at one point in my life. That , now is the true meaning of Christmas and giving a hand out is a secret affair, and to be honest it makes me feel no different. I know the person is grateful , and I don't kow where that money may go to, I just trust in God and my judgement that it will go to something useful for that individual.

I was raised in a normal house hold, where we all gathered for Christmas and open toys up from packages and my dad getting pissed cause a toy would have to be put together. I guess you could say that was fun. We waited for Santa Claus when we were little and now at age 53 we are Santa Claus helpers. However it is just another day to me, as all days are to myself. If I make too big of deal of everyday then I get nervous and agitated. I have learned how to sit and read a book when times are isolating and to be comfortable doing this activity. I always want to buy something but I don't act on it.

I have even thought about taking a vacation to Vegas this year, but I chicken out cause I dont want to go by myself, and spend alll my money.Being sober over Christmas is a slight difficulty but , it is not that I think about drinking, it is just the normal thing I use to do during the season with my old school mates and brother. However we use to get high a lot because we had so much time to spend , and now I don't go to bars so that time is isolating time or AA time. Well, Merry Christmas to all whom read this article, and keep sober during the holidays , if you can , and if you can't God bless You!! Chris Hyer

December AA Party and More music

I like to think of myself as a musician, and I think I am pretty versatile, here is my website where I keep some good music and some not so good music  https://soundcloud.com/christopher-hyer Go there and rate the songs if you don't mind.

My 12 step AA group had a glorious meeting last night . It was our December Christmas party with food catered by Odessa, Texas Country Club. You can't get much better than that and for a group of about 12 souls who usually go to these AA meetings, we had a crowd of well over a 100 people come to the PDAP place where we held this Christmas Party. The speaker was fantastic from SanAngelo, Texas. His name was Jim , I believe, and his son had just passed away that morning from Heroin overdose , which was very sad. However, like this man said, we have no control over addiction and the people who are addicted. His son celebrated his one year birthday at an AA club in San Angelo, then went out and celebrated with some Heroin, and it was his last celebration. It goes to show we are just one drug or drink away from losing our life. This addiction stuff is deadly and it needs to be taken seriously. Hollywood glamorizes the smoking of Pot and other drugs such as drinking, but hardly focuses on the families that have to deal with the true addict. God bless this man who came to speak as he did not have to come with his loss of his son the same day, but in reality it was probably good therapy to some and speak at a meeting then be at home and mourn your child's death. Sucha tragedy to be had, I cannot even think of this being me in his situation. The meeting was upbeat, however, and it was possibly the best I have been to.

God bless you all out there in cyberland who read this blog, and like I said this is just a journal of mine I keep to look back someday to see how far I have come. Stay clean and enjoy this thing we call life or get help and start enjoying life without drugs and alcohol. It can be done.

Life Goes On, Stay Sober and Peace will Come

I have hit a few ruff spots lately and if I was not sober right now, I don't think I would be handling them very well. How do you handle issues that come up where you have no control? You give it up to God. That is one lesson I have learned in AA. It is a good lesson because life goes on with or without my living body. This is true for most of us, if we were to die, the traffic would not stand still, well maybe for the funeral, but nothing would be said about me that would matter. I chose my direction in life when I was in my teens and some were smart. However now that I am in my fifties, I wish I would of made changes that would be a little bit more positive in my life today.

I have changed for the better since I have sobered up and I care for people that I use to not care about. It use to be all about myself that I was concerned with. Selfishness, and I find that I fall into this on some days even being sober. Life goes on, regardless of my mistakes I make now , but hopefully these mistakes will be learned by myself and cease to happen over and over again. Living in a sober world is not easy at times, we cannot breeze through it , or can we? Faith without works is death, so I would rather live in the now then worry about things that will change as time goes on and moves forward. I am on one of those days where I am confused about my life. I wish some things were better, and then I am blessed with the things that I have going for me . Confusion is casued when i don't attend AA meetings, and that is one thing I have not done for a week, so it is possibly time to get off my ass and go to a meeting or talk to a sponsor. These tools we have are valuable. Have a great day. Chris Hyer

Proof that Sobriety is a Beautiful Idea to Achieve

My spnosor sent the following message to my email as he always shares very interesting things to me. I belive it is God placing two people who are recovered alcoholics together with the same thinking in mind . Sobriety is such a beautiful idea to conceive, if not sober today, I would not of found this as beautiful as I did this morning . I hope you enjoy this.

Wyman Meinzer, the Texas State Photographer, used to live in the old jail in Benjamin, TX. The photo of the coiled rattlesnake appeared on the cover of a wildlife magazine in the 80's. He said there were times he crawled a long way on his belly to get a good shot of a wild animal.

The music is by Doug Smith. Doug is from Petersburg, Texas and lives south of town. Doug plays by ear- He cannot read music, but has many CDs. A pickup accident left Doug paralyzed and he does not play anymore.

Most of the pictures were taken in the rolling plains (cap rock to Seymour, the Fork, 6666, and Waggoner Ranches). There are some scenes in Palo Duro Canyon.

Please take a moment to watch this....I don't know if I've ever come across such a skillful combination of music and amazing animal and landscape photography. The changes in the tempo perfectly compliment the scenery.

This is simply a beautiful portrayal of the unique part of our continent.

Press this link to open up the video!!

God Bless Chris Hyer 11/6/2016

Life in Sobriety is a Merry Go Round

It would seem some day are better than others. I don't know why this is or if it's just the way our brains behave
. For me, life can be a merry go round type ride, some days I am motivated and singing and joyfully ready and others I am tired and sick of all the negative things I hear on the news. You would think there would be a positive news station , where they only talked about was positive information on our government, society, and children. However , there is no such news agency I am aware of to get up joyfully and listen to all the good that is happening in my life. God grant me the serenity , I guess is where this has all come down to living in the now, good and bad.

But this is a new day ,  a sober day for most of us, hopefully and if not your probably going , damn I wish this guy would shut up. I am very positive most of the time, but during the day my mood can change as I wait for my new job and my background check to clear. I just got word that all this company needs is my drug test results, well hell I submitted these last Tuesday, so are they lost? Shit, get your act together, and go ahead and find these results so I can go to work. Those people out in our community that have served jail time must have a hell of a wait to get past these background checks but my background is spotless. I thank God for not having to go to jail, and all the other miserable things that could of happen when I was drinking. I tend to forget how good I have it made in this life.
God prevails and I think I will go to the park and read a book for a few hours then color in my book,lol. God Bless Chris Hyer.

Why is AA so Important to Keep Sobriety

AA is a group of recovered or recovering alcoholics that meet usually on a daily basis or during the week at specific times. What we do in AA is talk about how to better our lives with the tools that we are given in AA. One tool is the use of the 12 Step Program which if followed in order can help one beat the use of alcohol and keep one sober for many months, and years. It is not a cult and is not a religious group. It is people who are looking for answers to thier questions that are usually found in th Big Book of AA that is a read for the purpose of staying sober and breaking down the 12 Step Program into a more understandable way for us former alcoholics.

Why is it a necessity to go to these groups? You make friends with some of these people in AA that may have drank for the same reasons you did. We share our experiences in these rooms and remember how insignificant they really were compared to our new life of sobriety.We change while we attend these meetings into citizens that people want to be around and do business with. It could be called a new awakening of of lives and even though most of us don't really see it , it is our families that usually see our positive changes and they tend to like the new face we have put on since going to these meetings and working the program steps. It's a spiritual congregation of love and understanding that binds most of these groups together.

There are a few that go back ut and drink some more and end up dead. These are terrible results from not staying with the program. Somehow , somewhere the program did not adhere to these people and since I have been going to AA , I do know if a few that have started drinking and ended up dead within a few days to a month. This is serious to keep attending or staying in touch with a Sponsor to keeping yourself sober and happy. Yes, it is not an easy program at times we all get tempted, but we who go to these meetings realize that it is up to us to stay sober and not someone else. You cannot blame another for your drinking addiction. Hopefully this provides a little bit of insight into what AA is and what it is not. Have a nice day.God Bless Chris Hyer

Sobriety and Panic

I don't write very consistently but when I get a thought I usually have to write about it. Panic attacks are common in most people,, or anxiety. The higher the anxiety the more likely you will have a panic attack. I have had these off and on for all my life. Sobriety does not cause panic but an alcoholic drink surely calms panic down and anxiety,.So what do you do? I give it up to God plus I take medication for Panic attacks and prevention. There are a lot of people that would not agree with this action. When I first sobered up eight years ago, I was a full-blown agoraphobic, I would not leave the house or I would have massive panic attacks.This was horrible, I had this before I even started drinking at a very young age and I have seen hypnotherapist, and taken CBT therapy and many different medications over the years. You may be having the same issue as I have and are looking for answers and I really don't have them. You might take a chance and take medication , I would not take it lightly, however.

Panic medication can be addictive and I just might be addicted to my medication. I do know I take it as directed by a psychiatrist and my sponsor knows about this and God is aware of what I do. I do not think that it is a good idea, but there is no cure for anxiety that rages and ruins your life. I have sought after a cure for many years and the same old therapy is out there that does not work for me. I just thought I would throw this Panic idea out at you people and hopefully get some feedback. Thank You Chris Hyer

Non-Drunk Memorial Day and Socially Sober

It's been a while since I have written. I do this blog for my own journal anyway, so when I look back over the future, I can see how much I have grown or resisted growth. However you are welcome to review my blog post and make comments.

Its Sunday night in Midland, Texas and it is Memorial Day on Monday, in which we have so many Veterans that are young and old that have made the USA free with the work in our military. God bless them and hopefully we can bring home a few thousand more young people home with thier families. That is what life is about , is family living and not war. I think our political system seems to split this up especially during the election year. Let's bring our brothers and sisters home where they belong.

Staying sober today is no different than it was last week or eight years ago for me. I do stay sober for a reason. The main reason is I do not want to feel bad the next day. When drinking and smoking pot , at night usually , I was very happy and content I thought. However ,now that it has been 8 years of complete sobriety, it is just normal for me to be sober on any given day. That is a great obstacle I have overcome over the time of being sober, and I hope if you have a drinking problem you will realize that this can happen to you also. It takes a little bit of work on your part and a lot of spiritual work on God's part to stay sober, but once you have it, sobriety will stay with you as long as you will it to be.

I am not feeling like I am missing out on anything right now, I worked today and I have lots of hours in overtime, and this makes me happy. I have other problems besides worrying about drinking today , that the urge to have alcohol is not even a option. I will celebrate with the 12 step group at the PDAP building in Midland, Texas on Wed at 7:30 PM of this week. So if anyone is local , please say you saw my blog and I will be happy to know you.I have no idea of what I will say as my sobriety is due to so many things in my life. From AA Meetings to the spirit of god I pray to everyday to my family being happy I am alive and living without alcohol and pot. That should be enough, as some of the speaker meetings can go on and on. I will not talk about certain things in my life, but I am really an open book when I am at these meetings and I believe that most in my group know my circumstances.

Why do we talk about the past, I guess it is to remember where we came from and how the fight to keeping sober for so long is accomplished to those who cannot even think about being sober for a day. I know I was one of these people, and yet after several treatment centers and breaking so many hearts. I did stay sober this time for myself. It has paid off with love and material things that I have worked for. I live in a nice large house and have a loving puppy that loves me to pieces. I just hope that I can keep on staying sober for one day at a time like I have. That is all it really takes is AA Meetings and believing that you can make it one day at a time until the obsession goes away and it will. Well,thats about all I have to say, back to watching a movie and having a pizza. Goodnight. Christopher Hyer

I get Bored AT Times being Sober

AT times I get pretty bored in between work and at home. I like being home but , I have exhausted my old hobbies with music and art. I find that the time I kill now is laying on the couch and watching a movie with my eyes closed, cause I am tired. Funny thing is I use to do the same thing when I was drinking . Except now , I am not. I don't wake up with the room spinning and I don't feel bad. Maybe a little bit depressed and wondering if I should do something new with my living situation. Midland, Texas is a boring town. No Lakes or mountains to gaze at and the only place to go out at night is AA, a restaurant, or bar. Being single my choices are very limited, I use to look forward to going to work. Now this is getting boring. I have been to more AA meetings and I enjoy these, but while I work I can't really attend these and that would be a cruch in a way.

AA cannot rule my life just guide it. I would get bored from going to a meeting every hour on the hour or every day for that matter. So Chris has to come up with an alternative to keep busy when I am at home beside looking at porn on the internet. lol..Really I don't look at that much porn..but in reality I do have to find a book I guess and start reading something. I watched a movie with Robert Deniro last night called the Intern. See it if you have not , it is a new release, but it pretty much is about a guy who is 70 and gets a job with a Google type company run by 20 something kids. It is funny and it is reality. He stays busy with yoga and other things , but it was good for me to see this show. Oh well I will report on what happens to me , right now I am just trying to get through each day, seems to be getting a little tougher than before, not sure whats up. I think its the boredom.Chris

Sobriety and Having a Dog?

There is something to be said about having my Labrador Retriever as my friend and companion . I highly recommend getting an animal such as a dog that you can love when going through sobriety. The animal unconditionally loves you all the time. I have had Abbey my puppy for over threee years and she is always there for me . In the tough times I can hug her and even when I feel like loving her I can, she loves being loved. I am single so this puppy has been my girlfriend and friend in life. I treat her like a human and she loves me for it.

Someone to love and love you back is important in sobriety. I still have not found Mrs. right for me, so the dog just does fine in my case. She does not complain ever or get sad, or tell me any lies. Love her to the moon. I have been doing ok recently , my new job has its moments but I finally got off this weekend and decided to write in my journal. I will have eight years sobriety in May 21st of this month. That is a long time for me. However if your reading this and only have one day , that also is a long time , as I remember this as it was yesterday.

I basically was talking to my puppy and figured this would be good information to put on my blog since I love my pupy so much and has brought me company when I had none. So run out and get yourself a pet and learn how to give and love giving to this animal. Chris 5/1/16

2016 Sober Birthday Today

I turned 53 today on April 17th ,1963 and I tried to put together a trip , but just made a mess out of it. I am happy to be sober today and quite tired as I ended up going to Ruidoso, New Mexico on Saturday to celebrate my birthday by myself. I also played at the casino on my trip and did not win a thing. I went through ton of money and nothing hit on the one armed bandits. I usually do pretty good, but I have come to the conclusion that my hard earned money was not worth losing to a machine in a mattter of minutes. I had booked a hotel room as Ruidoso is about a 5-hour drive from Midland, Texas. When I was finished losing all my money, I checked in and then laid down for a moment, and checked out. I drove all the way back last night. Foolish as it was, because I was tired, I wanted to be home on Sunday. Addiction is always with the recovered alcoholic. whether it is sex addiction or gambling addiction , we have that personality that over comes us in some things we do. I can't seem to do things in moderation. This has been a ongoing problem since I have been sober.

Money problems have plagued me. It is no different than the alcoholic who has a drinking addiction, and if I don't stop gambling then I will have another problem as I already have this issue. I am blessed in that I am not completely broke from my escapade, but I hit myself hard and my credit cards are getting maxed out. I really want what I want when I want it. Obsessive Compulsive disorder to an extent. I am not sad , however, cause thing swill work out with the help of God and a little more control over my spending habits. It is simple just do not spend on stuff I cannot afford. The alcoholic who has to have everything , is a crazy person. I am a little crazy in this aspect.

I met a woman online from years back from High School and I was meaning to go visit her in Bryan < Texas. Decisions on not meeting her were maybe not sound. I thought after talking to her that she drank every night. She seemed quite drunk every time I spoke to her, so I decided not to go and see her because I did not want to deal with her issues. However, her issues may be unfounded, and maybe she was just tired, I don't or should not question a person if they are a drunk until I have met them. I could of been wrong, and I made up the excuse not to come and see her. I hope I don't live to regret this decision.I am lonely for sex, and love and a relationship, could she be the one? I don't really know yet. Life is very confusing when you know someone but from a long time ago.

Well life goes on today, and one more day for God to direct me in the right direction. I paused this part of the blog to run a few errands, and to go see my mother , and it was good. Sobriety has it's advantages and there a lot of people that would dis agree with me, and a few that would agree with me. When you run your life God driven like I have or have tried, the perspective on your future is good and relations with people are better than when I drank. Ask your self, would you be better off sober socially or not? Would it make a change in you and would it be positive. It has been for me, even though I question sobriety at points in my life, am I missing out on drining parties and going out to the bars? I am not going to test this theory out. God Bless

Its Been s Sober time lately

It is April of 2016, and I have had a great new month witha new position in life, and my sobriety is well in tact with myself. I had planned a trip[ on my birthday which is on April the 17th to Las Vegas, but I did not feel right going by myself, so I lost a few hundred on this trip. You sometimes have to lose a little to gain self-confidence in why you are sober. I did some soul searching and I decided that Vegas was not right for me in the long run. I love to gamble but the drinking that goes on there and being by myself did not settle with em right now. So I have canceled the trip and I am heading to the mountains of New Mexico , and staying at a lodge where it is beautiful. I plan to take my photography equipment and take some pretty shots of the area, with the weather being so warm in Texas, and cooler in New Mexico.

I have to slow down when things start going in a positive direction , because I have the disease of alcoholism. I know that sounds like a cop out but I have lived sober for eight years in a row now on May of this year. I will do nothing that will provoke my sober state of mind. God has seen me through some tough times and I feel he test us at times to see what we will do next.

My job is not stressful, which is what I needed, it does require me to work weekends at times and I have to accept this , however I am single and I have nothing else to do but watch TV and I make overtime. That is why I have not written in so long. I have been pulling 60 hour weeks and to me that is a lot of driving with work and trouble shooting. I wish all who are struggling with drugs or alcohol that they can see that you can have a good and fullfilling life but you do have to take action and not put it off. You have to go to meetings of AA and you have to believe in God the spirit. If not you may be doomed. I know for me I have to do these things , and practice these steps in all I do in life to manage who I am and whom I will turn out to be in my older years. I will be 53 this month. I grew a beard so I would fit in with work and fellow employees, however no one really enticed me to do this, It is just different for me, and I like change to an extent. So please listen here, God will make your dreams come true. I am a witness to this, but you can shoot yourself down. Try to stay positive and stop drinking or stay sober and enjoy the world for what it is , and not for what it is not..Have a Blessed Day ...Christopher 4.4.2016

The Sober Life Can Be Great!

I have been busy with my new position at work and have not had time to write. I have been getting overtime and I have to tell you it's nice to get, but it tires me out. Therefor , I have neglectrd to write in my blog. I have had many good things happen to me.

A member of my family had offered a loan to me to get myself out of debt. I could not believe it, I did not have to ask or anything. This person knew I was underneath a lot of debt from credit cards and it was taking forever to get them out of debt. Well a check showed up with more than enough to pay all my debt off and this person just wants the bare minimium  monthly to pay back over 4 years. What a deal staying sober others see you try and they give you miracles as this was. This is how my last sight years have been while sober. Miracles from God and my family and others whom I just knew from AA. This is a program of action though, cause I was told in the letter that followed the check " Chris because you have been an outstanding , sober , human being is why I am bailing you out of this mess. If you were drinking I would not of helped you in this manner." The words were not exact but what a deal in life. These miracles can happen to anyone out there who truly tries , and I have to admit I have tried hard lately to be a good person and a good citizen.

Wow, my life has really changed again and there will be the ups and downs but I would have to say cause I am sober today I have a job and a family that loves me. God Bless.