My Name Is Chris and I am a Alcoholic

 Damn not use to this blogger interface. Hi , hope all is well with you today or tonight. My name is Chris Hyer an I write a diary on my drinking over the years of sobriety. That would be 11 going on 12 years  of no alcohol.One day at a time. Yes that is really true, they have been trying times. There have been problems along the way, but nothing that God could not heal.

Not a one thing in 11 years has God let me down. I have felt like I have let God down over the years . To quit drinking is where you start. That is the hardest part of this program. Is to quit doing something that makes you feel good , but then it kills your internal organs and we cannot drink as much as we would like. Given one might possibly have 20 drinks , that old saying has been going around AA for years and I do not agree totally with it. Just take it one Evening ,morning, whenever you drink try not to. IT will not work, unless you have done this many times then who knows.

 

I thought for sure that Covid would do it for me and my sobriety, but no I am confused about this virus and how it attacks, and it is a killer.This is time for high anxiety for me, and your damn right I take a Xanax for this trouble the China government gave to the World a deadly and scary ass show of power that we seem to not display at certain points in our government. Back to stopping that one drink, try not to go to the store you usaually buy beer or liquor and go by a Coke at another store. This is your safe zone, you just beat a beer. Now get your ass to a AA Meeting..lol             

Sober after The Holidays

It's been nine years since I have taken a drink of alcohol, and I have to say that a holiday without alcohol is ok with me. After the first few years, it was strange to not drink during the entire Holiday binge. I missed out a lot of Christmas's and was a mellow drunk back in the day anyway, so most did not know I was wasted. Thank God another year is about to come I guess. I can't stop it but I can make changes to my behavior that need fixed/ One thing is to find more to do with my spare time beside housework, get involved and socialize, I am very closet minded and comfortable in my little own world, which can be a hazard to my health, I get to thinking too much. This is called boredom I think, here it has been almost ten years and I love life, need to change my personal habits such as sitting on the couch and watching TV and resting. Maybe it is just a case that I am not used to knowing how to rest? I was always on the go when I was younger I am 55 and a man and I have been thinking about writing a book as a hobby and of course for the money. I also think my book can provide some people with insight into life. So it would be a positive thing to do, except my Internet Gambling gets in the way. Yeah, been playing for about 8 years and lost more than I made and this is another addiction I have to address this year.

Addiction is all around my body, whether it is chocolate cake or steaks, I can make an addiction that is hard to break out of anything I do. This is built in every addicted person's body I hear with alcoholism. How to treat it is by AA terms by going to meetings and reading the Big Book. I have to say they might be partly right but it is me who has to do the work on changing constantly and it is not a chore just an inconvenience to me. You may find that I am on a level with you and I am just telling the story of your own life in a fashion. I am sober and I can communicate, and I am smart. I just make a lot of mistakes, some on purpose to see the outcome and some I did not even know I was saying or doing. The holiday sober look for me was normal. I am very shy around my family, maybe it is guilt from the years of making an ass out of myself. I am just me and that is all we can be. The good, bad, and ugly. Enjoy the new year and I hope to be starting my book soon, once finished I will let you know. It is a self-help book for those who are looking for work but just don't know how to go about this.I have a lot of tips and advice that I have come around the last few years.See you in 2019!! Please comment if you like. Chris 12/29/2018

Feelings and Sobriety, They do Exist

Feelings are very prevalent in our lives. There is nothing I do that does not involve a feeling of the sort. I use to try to block out my feelings with alcohol and drugs, but now being sober for almost 10 years, I have to deal with every single one ( Feelings). It's funny but I run from myself I believe so I don't have to face a feeling at certain times. This could be laying down on the couch with the TV running and not feeling a thing but comfort that I am not working and I am blessed to have a roof over my head. However, I talk a lot about being blessed when I write but when in reality I do not think about the spiritual experiences that have happened until I have usually done the task. Life is a trip and hopefully, you can follow my crazy mind, but this is my blog so I can be as crazy as I want.

I just got off a work trip and It is Saturday and I have been taking care of chores and errands that I did not get to do when I was out of town. I guess this is normal but I hate not being organized and when I came back home last night from work, I got busy and washed my clothes for the following week and did a few other things that need to be done in the future. I guess the feeling of living out of control does not appeal to me in my sobriety. I am obsessed with a clean house and a clean vehicle. I take good care of the..Chris
things I have, in the past I did not. Life changes so much when you sober up and when you take that one moment to think how good life really is now that your feelings get put into place, life gets better

Sobriety How important is it?

I have been sober now over nine years, and I thought of this question this morning. Since I quit alcohol that many years ago, it really is not a part of my living life. I focus on other things like chores and work and knowledge about future events. I don't look back and regret my situation as much. Yes, I would have changed a few things in my last but maybe that is how my life was to be lived so I might live the future in a sober place and sober mind. I am not saying that sobriety is not important as it is the most important part of my life for me to be able to do my work and other things in life. Once you get a hold of living this way and understand that going back to living with alcohol is not going to he help in a positive manner with items that are depressing or negative then you have reached a cure. Yes, I said a cure for alcoholism is possible when you do not reach for the bottle in times of happiness and or sorrow, or either thinking of drinking. There have been thoughts of drinking but they are destructive thoughts and they go away very quickly. I never want to go back nine years from now and have to re-live what I have learned in these nine years.

I wish a part of my life was different and if I had not been alcoholic what would be the outcome. However, I do not think of this very much. You cannot go back in time only move forward with the power of god and the training and learning from AA that will teach you to stay away from dangers of drinking. Staying away from crowds that drink or old friends that drink is the best medicine I can offer. Yes, it can be lonely at times of celebration or when there is a loss of family life, however, if you believe in God you realize we will all die at some point in life that is a given. If we die sober that means we have done our best in the present to be the good law-abiding citizens for our lives. I think God is proud of us that take measures to lose weight if that is what we chose to stay healthy and then there are times where we do not have control such as the many cancers that kill so many good people and they did not bring about this problem as most alcoholics do have control over if they drink or drug. I don't buy it that we do not have control over our intake of certain substances we consume. I eat too many donuts in the morning at times than I back off cause I know it is not healthy for me. You learn a lot when you are sober even when you feel boredom come across, its how you deal with God and being lonely or hurting that will build you up as it has done for me and so many others. God Bless and Be Free from alcohol and start living a life that will make you smile.
Chris

Do you know God? Sobriety and Living

I am at a hotel room in Arlington, Texas and I have work to do here for 5 days. I really do not like going on trips where I am not home. I guess I have gotten older plus I don't drink so some of the other workers are out getting drunk as usual. I started to think about God and do I really know him. I assume I have a grasp on the spiritual outlet called God and the spirit but I seem to need him ore than ever at certain times for my sobriety and my sanity. I have nine years of no drinking and I don't think about drinking, but I do think and pray a lot more than ever. I seem to think I am unusual in that I have really no friends and a good job, but at my age, that is all I want. I want my family healthy and happy and when I am working I see they are very grateful for my sobriety because I never stayed with too many jobs before calling in sick from a night worth of beer. Now I sit in a hotel room all alone wondering what it would be like to be out drinking and then feeling like shit the next morning seems like a dreadful idea. My whole world would change and I cannot handle that, so I am writing to speak my mind. The Dallas Cowboys won today I think and that is wonderful cause they have not been that good, but do I really care, nope. Men are supposed to care about football, I like to play when I was younger but really have the slightest interest in Football now. I am in a good place just thought I would post on my blog, who knows maybe 5 nights in a row of blogging will keep my idle hands busy. Goodnight Chris

Grateful For What God Has So Freely Given Me

It is easy for me to get lost in my problems with life and forget to be grateful for those things in which God has given me. It is easy to get lost in the confusion of the day and realize that I am sober from alcohol and drugs and should be grateful that God has given me the strength to carry forward in this life. I am grateful to be able to type this at 8:00 AM on Friday morning because eight years ago I sure would of not been doing this blog. I was always hung over and to combat the hangover I would smoke a joint upon waking then the cycle of the addiction would take over my day.

I believe we all have all sorts of issues we have to deal with on a daily basis. The best way I prepare for the next day is to not expect that I will have another next day, I give it to God in prayer at night and ask him to do for me what I can't do for myself and to guide me , that is about it. Upon waking the next morning , surprise phone calls or seeing my dog wag her tail at me in enthusiasm is a wonderful start to a new day. My days are not perfect, and I still have my faults but I am clear headed and make some sense of what I am doing for the most part of the day. I try to help another human being out as often as I can but I forget to do this also, and then it comes natural. Helping another person out takes me out of self and makes me feel useful to this life. I am ever so grateful for God in making me a sober individual that my family wants to be around, and my friends also. This is a blessing, even the computers I have to write this blog are miracles to have considering when I was in my addiction I had no car or anything of materials as I sold most all twice in my life to afford my addiction to alcohol and drugs. I hit bottom so many times , I have lost count, I don't think this will happen again, or i at least pray for this not to be the case for me. Have a grateful Day, Chris

July 4th,2017 A Day to Stay Sober

What better thing to do today then to stop drinking alcohol than the 4th of July, 2017? Yeah, I know it is celebration time, however, is there not a day that is celebration time? A person who is not alcoholic does not think this the day to get hammered, but a day to spend with the family and kids . An alcoholic by this time of day has already possibly had the first drink to make it through the morning shakes and jitters. The alcoholic cannot control his drinking because it is a disease like cancer. Until the alcoholic gets true help he will keep up his drinking no matter what you say, because he cannot stop on his own will. You are not to blame for the alcoholic's ways, his brain is wired differently and he just wants you to shut up about his habit and let him live his day, even though deep inside he would like to quit.

So what do you do when you have a loved one that drinks and does not stop drinking. One answer is a treatment center and yes they are free in most cities in the USA. They are not nice like the Betty Ford Clinics, but all treatment centers are the same, they get the alcoholic off the drink for at least a short period of time. The other option is to make the alcoholic leave and not come back, which is hard to do for any one's family but a necessity is to make sure that the alcoholic knows you will not put up with his drinking. If drunk he will complain and leave because he is tired of hearing you bitch about his drinking, but then as most drunks will do , they will call you back sober and tell you they have a plan for not drinking. Beware of this plan , and if does not involve some type of counseling or AA , do not let the alcoholic come home. We alcoholics are quite manipulative and know how to get what we need and want. Most alcoholics are very smart and intelligent working citizens, they are not the bums that you see underneath a bridge in a dark long coat. They will be this person if they do not quit and lose all and get locked up in prison or jail. I have met them all.

Sometimes jail really helps an alcoholic or drug abuser, I don't recommend this but I have seen it work in other cases. It is a drastic way to sober up , and the treatment center is not usually there to help with withdrawals. Many people get busted for DUI and DWI on this weekend, and other weekends as well. You see an alcoholic hass many holidays even though he would not call them this. Drinking socially is not drinking beer after beer for a 12 pack in a couple of hours. Your not drinking for the taste but for the effect it has on you and you enjoy this effect or addicted to the feel good effect.
Today is a great day to start drinking water or soda's and not pick up a beer for just today, then when work comes in the morning you might think of doing the same thing, and if you have a problem with not drinking on the next day call AA and discuss this with someone. You can do this and there is help 24 hours a day with so many of us recovering alcoholics with phones you can talk to. We have lived this life of lies and hurting our families, we know where you have been, don't feel ashamed as you will not surprise us that use to drink. Good Luck Today and have a Happy 4th of July this year 2017. Chris Hyer

Death In the Family and Sober Living

Well, I have lost my step father yesterday to what I will call old age. He was 81 and a bit over weight and had complications for years. It was not sudden, he had struggled in and out of hospitals for the past year. He was a jolly guy that was a sharp dresser and smart and funny. A real good hearted man that was always nice to my family and very kind.It is hard to find people like this in the world, he was always a giving nature person. He will be missed and for some reason I am not sad of his death, maybe it has not hit me yet. I am happy that his suffering is over , is how I feel. He liked recovering alcoholics,he thought we were good people, and he was pleased with my struggles in life. Like I said he had no mean bone in his body, just a big Teddy Bear and a heart as big as Texas.

How do we deal with death as a sober person? I guess just like we deal with daily living. We pray and remember the good times, and go about our day. Living one day at a time. We don't try to look back in our past and we treasure every moment we are  alive as this is a short life we are given. If staying sober is your thing , you will get more out of life than you bargain for. Sometimes good and sometimes bad, but most of the bad turns good at some point. When drinking it was always bad except when we were drinking and even then reflecting on being drunk it was bad at many times trying to forget the present. God works with each and every one of us in his own way. I pray that you have found your way as I think I am living my way God had intended. God Bless Chris

Treatment Center Bound For Prescription Medication Addiction

I have tried to get off Xanax and Adeerall for the last few weeks and I can't seem to get over the withdrawals. I wil check myself into a local alcoholism and drug addiction Treatment Center on Tuesday. I am not looking forward to another Treatment Center, but I want off these medication for a long time now. I am sober still and even thought what about drining before I go in, and I have decided that tat would be stupid. This is the first time I ever went into a treatment center for drugs that were prescribed for me. No, i took the dosage as told but the dosage is high and I want my life completly clean, regardless of the outcome of treatment. I am going to hold my head up high and go through the motions for 30 days and be grateful that I can even afford to go and get help.I knew early on that these pills could be a problem , but my Psychiatrist insist that I must be on them the rest of my life. I find that incredibly wrong, as I have read and studied the medication I take and it is for th short term not for over eight years. He said I was a special case, but I hardly believe him anymore.

The last job I had to fly many times, and usually the medicine would make me calm and I could fly anywhere, however the potency of this medication has gone down as I had real bad panic atacks and phobias before the flight and lost my job because I was unable to board this flight. This is when I knew I really had a problem. I also noted that my mind has been going up and down during the day  with possible withdrawal from this medication during the day . Its bad shit for the long term. I was told by two other Doctors that they would like to get me off this medication as the dosage was too high. They told e of the complications if I kept on using the medication at the level that I am. I did not want to hear this from anyone, and turned my head, but in reality a addictive perosn knows when he is addictive to something.

My AA friends , which some of them work at this treatment center are behind me, and that feels good. It is nice to be established in the AA world in my little town as this will make me proud that I am not only doing this for myself but others can see that yes, you can get addicted even when not trying to from Doctor prescriptions.So I won't be writing on this blog until I get out in 30 days. I could use your prayers for a speedy recovery, thank you. God Bless and Good Luck to you all. Chris Hyer
 

Being Positive in a Negative Thought in Sobriety or Life Itself

Say stop in situations where you know you cannot think straight.

Sometimes when I am hungry or when I am lying in bed and are about to go to
sleep negative thoughts start buzzing around in my mind.

In the past they could do quite a bit of damage. Nowadays I have become good at
catching them quickly and to say to myself:

No, no, we are not going to think about this now.

I know that when I am hungry or sleepy then my mind sometimes tend to be
vulnerable to not thinking clearly and to negativity.

So I follow up my “no, no…” phrase and I say to myself that I will think this
situation or issue through when I know that my mind will work much better.

For example, after I have eaten something or in the morning after I have gotten
my hours of sleep.

I know from experience that when I revisit a situation with some level-headed
thinking then in 80% of the cases the issue is very small to nonexistent.

And if there is a real issue then my mind is prepared to deal with it in a much
better and more constructive way.

Say stop to getting lost in vague fears.

Another trap that I have fallen into many times that have spurred on
overthinking is that I have gotten lost in vague fears about a situation in my life.
And so my mind running wild has created disaster scenarios about what could
happen if I do something.

So I have learned to ask myself: honestly, what is the worst that could happen?

And when I have figured out what the worst that could happen actually is then I
can also spend a little time to think about what I can do if that often pretty
unlikely thing happens.

I have found that the worst that could realistically happen is usually something
that is not as scary as what my mind running wild with vague fear could produce. 

Finding clarity in this way usually only takes a few minutes and bit of energy and
it can save you a lot of time and suffering.

Getting Hired When Your Sober

If your in a position like myself, getting hired is tough when there is literally no positions available. I live in Midland , Texas and this is oil field country. If you are a truck driver or have what is called fracing experience, you can have a job right away. If you are sober and looking to stay sober then you have to find a job that will not stress you out so much. When I sobered up I had very few skills and it hurts you when you get older and want to work, as companies will look the other way if you had no experience with the job in which is offered. My biggest problem is I am getting the interviews but I am competing with about 200 people for this one job. It is a statistical nightmare when I think I have the job only to find out they have found someone else better qualified. I am going on 6 months now and I do do part time work in fixing computers on my own. I work half my day driving for Uber and fixing personal computers and half the day searching online for jobs and applying.

There is no reason to drink about my situation , as it will not help me get a job. I also attend quite a few AA meetings as this is good for networking for work. However, in the oil patch things are starting to pick up and when this happens all industry picks up in this small city. I have thought about moving and that thought is still in the air, as I have a home that is paid for and family in this area. I will give it a few more months before I make a city move but not much longer. Health insurance is expensive but I have been able to keep on with my provider, and staying busy writing has helped when I get bored . Try to stay busy because idle hands gets us into trouble , but surely there is  a job out there for me. God willing and I do have a strong conviction to my Lord that he will help me in finding my next career move. Don't let up on the program of AA as you will need it even more right now to keep yourself sane.

If your in my place with not a full time job you know what I am going through. Part of this has been my fault for letting go of jobs that I should of held onto. I will admit I made a few mistakes and I am paying for this move right now. Please have a job before you leave one, as I did not do this a few times, I just quit and that will piss off the employer and make your resume stink, but there are ways around this mess, you just have to be creative. Stay sober and work through your life and consider all posibilities you can and God will help. Have a great day. Chris Hyer

Big Spring, Texas AA Group Celebrates 70 years of Sobriety

What a day Saturday turned out to be. Big Spring, Texas is about 40 miles east of Midland, Texas and I went to celebrate their anniversary of 70 years for this group. There was a meeting at 1:00PM followed by a Al anon Speaker who was really good , then lunch from kitchens of alcoholics comprised of southern fried chicken and you name it the food was there. My uncle from Bedford Texas was the key speaker for AA and his wife Vera. I never had heard his story and it was good , he has over 37 years of sobriety and his wife about the same. Friends from Odessa and other cities across Texas gathered at this meeting for the celebration.

My father who drinks hard at times even came which blew my mind. He came with his brother Pat H. to this whole event which might mean he is interested. You never know who will show up at these gatherings. I was really proud of my father attending this celebration, for he might be one of us. He is the only one that would know, however. It was 90 degrees in Big Springs, Texas this winter day of Saturday the 12th of 2017 and that was a mind blower as well. The meeting drew approx. 100 people from all over Texas and lasted about five hours. I was exhausted afterwards and went back home. It was a day in history to see my father in a AA meeting on his own will. He recently lost his wife to Lupus after fighting this disease most of her life. My father is 80 years old but surely does not look the age. He still works and is active, but I am sure a little bit depressed from losing his wife.

I decided I better get the one love in my life some chocolates for her Valentines, that would be my mother. She has helped me in so many ways and support my sobriety with no end. I am very blessed to have both parents still living and healthy. Days like Saturday humble ones self like me. It makes you think about the good times and the not so good, maybe that was why I was drained. I don't usually go to these type conferences, I usually stick to the one hour meetings and leave. I see now why it is important to come to these gatherings, I had nothing else to do , plus I never heard my Uncles' story but I experienced  his drinking when I was young, and those thoughts were in my head. What a better man he is now. If you get a chance go to a conference like this one, it can be long and you do need to take breaks. Chris Hyer , One Day at a time.

God, Living, Death, and Sobriety

Recently my father lost his wife to a disease and even though we all knew her time had come, reality sets in after a while. My father has not changed, in fact he may be even more bitter about things in life. He is too hard to read. He is alcoholic and it is hard for me to understand when he is down because he is not drinking or if he is always negative like when I grew up. Anyway , the death has not really affected me, as I loved this lady but she was in great pain. I would rather die than live in pain. However I have mental pain and I sure have been praying for God to take my life over and make it tolerable. I refuse to drink over my insecurities, and I refuse to do anything stupid. I think this giving it to God stuff actually works, or it has with me.

I am a loner in the seance that I go to AA meetings to live life, then I try to stay occupied by my Uber driving while I wait and see about future opportunities come. I have hit the computer hard with Resumes and I am getting feedback, but it has been almost 5 months without a steady job. This bothers me and I even have stooped down to convenience stores cause they are always hiring, well no the case with me. It seems the easier the job , the harder it is for me to get hired, yet a computer position or IT position is quite virtually easier for me to get into. Maybe because of my background, I just don't know. I have had a few bites on a couple of jobs I am waiting to hear back from and have gotten off the couch to drive as this keeps my mind occupied and I make a little money .

I have to have help with my bills from my family and I know they are tired of this. I feel like all I am is a job seeking fool. I am not being picky now, as the time has been rolling on. However if I look back seven years ago , I would of just drank my problems away and that is the only difference with me at this point in my life is that I have stayed sober. I hold onto every penny I have and do not waste money . Sobriety is the key with God on my side, and I do believe he is on my side or I could not keep my head high, as the night falls I get restless and anxious about bedtime and the worying I do before I sleep. I try to giv that to God also and it works if I think about it. God is doing for me what I cannot do for myself, He is telling me I am worth a damn in this world, even though I get depressed at times and try to watch comedies at night that are easy to swallow and maybe make me laugh. Laughing is hard, and my relationship with my family is all about work and money. I just pray that soon all will be ok, and the job crisis will end and the borrowing of money will stop , so I can live life as I expect it to be lived. Have a good day for we not know what the next will bring, and this is so true. Chris Hyer

Living By God's Will Not Mine Sober

I have had a rough time lately, and the problem is I have not been living by God's will for me. I have taken control and forgot that I have to give things up to God in order to live a sober and meaningful life. So what do I mean by this? Well for me I am starting a new job on Monday and I have had nothing to do. I was quite isolated the last few days and was sick of going to AA every time I turned around. I was bored out of my skull. I was not thinking of drinking but all the options I may have as this job pays poorly but it trains me from the start, then the money rises. I should be grateful and I am but I don't pay attention to what God has given me in preparation to start this or any job. I have a roof over my head, I have money, I have food, I have a car. I was looking in my past and could not understnad what the meaning of life really is. I went to my home group this morning and discussed this and what I found is I have not been working the steps the best that I could have. It was all about me, self centered and all about myself. That is not a good sober living strategy, as you wil become more reliant of your pass and wish to change it,but that is not possible. I was looking back at the times when I could of gotten a better education or had a good job only to drink it away.

You have to live in the now. You can't look back and be thankful to God for helping me be sober today, and not look back in disgust over your life. I have a bad problem in doing this , looking back. I am 53 and honestly I did not expect to live this long when I was drinking but I have since I sobered up seven years ago. I was in my head going to die before I was forty so my future did not matter towards the end. However God makes the choices when you shall live or die, instead he saw a need to keep me around and I should not second guess why? As I lay on the couch watching movie after movie, I was restless and bored and not thinking about maybe this is what God is showing me how to just relax , because I have already gotten myself ready as far as food and clothing were needed for this new job. I ran out of things to do, and my old response to this was to go gambling in Hobbs. I need the cash I have now so the option really turned me off. Hell, Gambling is suppose to be fun but I do not have disposable money to do this right now and I am damn tired of the drive to Hobbs and back to Midland. So today after my meeting I was reading a educational bible that I got at treatment and kept reeding on it. I found all these cool things God has done such as healing the sick and , in a way I was sick. Then a miracle of sorts said to myself, get up and get doing some of the things that would make God happy and I have been doing these. Well time flies and I am at a stopping point.

It is very easy to let up on the program and on God even though I pray most all day for help. I lost that help prayer and was running my own show, but when I asked God for help, things started popping up that needed to be done. How cool is that. ANyway don't give up like I have on God and keep very close to him that heals us all from bad things when we are trying to do right. Have a good day and God Bless..Chris Hyer

Love in the New Year Sober

It has been some time since I have written in this blog. I have had ups and downs every single day. I had a up on December 30th a girl called me and express an interest. I have know her for a while but I always said the wrong things I guess and we never met. She is in the AA program and we went out for the last week, almost everyday. I really enjoy this woman and she seemed to enjoy me. I guess you could say I feel in love very quickly and when she did not feel the same it drove me fucking crazy. When a person text another person and then leaves them hanging you know you said something wrong. I got that twice and I don't understand all the crap she has gone through but it must of be devastating to her. She is 6 years sober and I am 7 years sober. We were going to AA meetings together and out to eat and even a kiss now and then. Love , is something I have not experienced in years with the opposite sex, and so my heart was broken when she had other plans the last few days.

I told her how I felt and she did not answer back on text. SO I waited then waited, and nothing. I have never felt like bursting into a rage or tears. I did not know what I did or said to piss her off. However , I realize we all have our own things to do in this life. When someone new comes in the door, you either make room for them or you don't. I guess I thought she felt the same and she might , She just has a hard time with men because she has ben shit on so many times. I don't do that to women, I never have except when I was drinking so I discovered I have new emotions that I have not felt since marriage. Strange as it is I love this girl , and no I have not had sex with her, she just fits perfectly with what I have been looking for. I am going to have to give her space and that drives me crazy. Anyway, I am gaining new experiences daily and some are good and some are just mind blowing.Chris Hyer

Christmas is Almost Here How Do you feel about this?

Sobriety is a wonderful feeling in the morning , waking up to no headaches, and no remorse for what you may have done the night before. Well, Christmas is upon us in a few weeks, and I beg of you not to let that interfere with your sobriety. It can be easy to slip into old habits of drinking and smoking dope. The reason is that you might be going home to family and friends that do these things and they might expect you to do them with you. Run as fast as you can from this place. Find a hotel room and find a meeting if this is a strong connection to you starting back your old ways. I have had to do this once, and I am glad, and my family understood, and I still had the best Christmas ever.

I am like a little boy when Christmas comes around, there is a spiritual feeling I get in my stomach, and the only bummer is on Christmas day , I usually don't have a tree  and there are no presents, as I am 53 and my family lives in so many cities, that I end up with myself going for Christmas Lunch with my mother and her husband. We do exchange gifts but it is just not the same. Then after we eat , I go home to an empty house. SO my Christmas last for about an hour and maybe two hours. That is called growing older I guess. I still look forward to this day and dress up for lunch and try to make something out of this day. There is no reason to drink about it, because imagine what that would do? Fro me it would ruin my life. So take it easy and enjoy what relatives you may have and give thanks to God that you are alive one more year to celebrate Jesus Christ's Birthday!! That in itself should be enough for Christmas. Chris Hyer

Thanksgiving and What it Means To Sober Alcoholics

Thanksgiving is a time spent with family to get together and enjoy each others company. My family is split , so it usually means having to drive to two towns and celebrating with my Mother and my Father. This is difficult and I spend most fo the day going between homes than I do actually staying there and relaxing. My family is always on the go , so relaxing is something that rarely happens for me, as I am always on my toes trying to pleasure whom I am with.
As an alcoholic , there is seldom any drinking going on at either house for fear that I might want to indulge, this has been going on for years. I really don't pay much attention to this but when I leave they pop open the liquor at my fathers house, SO am I in the way? I don't care really they should not invite me if they did not want me to come. Putting up the liquor is ridiculous as I have no desire to drink it any way. People do not understand an alcoholic can got o the store at anytime and buy the drink of their choice in the morning , afternoon or late at night. Just be cause it is a holiday does not mean I am going to drink or not drink. Relatives are only trying to help, I understand, but in a way, they hinder the relationship. Let them be what they are, and if stuck ina situation where liquor is being a part of Thanksgiving and it gets in your mind, just leave and make a excuse.

SO enjoy your family as we all need them in our lives, do not cause a problem at these gatherings and leave if you decide it is time. It is only one day and you have 364 other days to work with in your sobriety. Personally , I don't think of the Holidays as much anymore, and every holiday is not a drinking day, it was everyday when I was drinking some eight years ago.

So go out and eat with your family if you have one, if not find one at a free meal place and help out. That is doing 12 step work even if everybody is sober, you are helping others who cannot help themselves. I might as well do some volunteer
work myself at Thanksgiving, it would give me an excuse to get out of traveling to please everybody in my family. Chris Hyer

Life Goes On, Stay Sober and Peace will Come

I have hit a few ruff spots lately and if I was not sober right now, I don't think I would be handling them very well. How do you handle issues that come up where you have no control? You give it up to God. That is one lesson I have learned in AA. It is a good lesson because life goes on with or without my living body. This is true for most of us, if we were to die, the traffic would not stand still, well maybe for the funeral, but nothing would be said about me that would matter. I chose my direction in life when I was in my teens and some were smart. However now that I am in my fifties, I wish I would of made changes that would be a little bit more positive in my life today.

I have changed for the better since I have sobered up and I care for people that I use to not care about. It use to be all about myself that I was concerned with. Selfishness, and I find that I fall into this on some days even being sober. Life goes on, regardless of my mistakes I make now , but hopefully these mistakes will be learned by myself and cease to happen over and over again. Living in a sober world is not easy at times, we cannot breeze through it , or can we? Faith without works is death, so I would rather live in the now then worry about things that will change as time goes on and moves forward. I am on one of those days where I am confused about my life. I wish some things were better, and then I am blessed with the things that I have going for me . Confusion is casued when i don't attend AA meetings, and that is one thing I have not done for a week, so it is possibly time to get off my ass and go to a meeting or talk to a sponsor. These tools we have are valuable. Have a great day. Chris Hyer

Non-Drunk Memorial Day and Socially Sober

It's been a while since I have written. I do this blog for my own journal anyway, so when I look back over the future, I can see how much I have grown or resisted growth. However you are welcome to review my blog post and make comments.

Its Sunday night in Midland, Texas and it is Memorial Day on Monday, in which we have so many Veterans that are young and old that have made the USA free with the work in our military. God bless them and hopefully we can bring home a few thousand more young people home with thier families. That is what life is about , is family living and not war. I think our political system seems to split this up especially during the election year. Let's bring our brothers and sisters home where they belong.

Staying sober today is no different than it was last week or eight years ago for me. I do stay sober for a reason. The main reason is I do not want to feel bad the next day. When drinking and smoking pot , at night usually , I was very happy and content I thought. However ,now that it has been 8 years of complete sobriety, it is just normal for me to be sober on any given day. That is a great obstacle I have overcome over the time of being sober, and I hope if you have a drinking problem you will realize that this can happen to you also. It takes a little bit of work on your part and a lot of spiritual work on God's part to stay sober, but once you have it, sobriety will stay with you as long as you will it to be.

I am not feeling like I am missing out on anything right now, I worked today and I have lots of hours in overtime, and this makes me happy. I have other problems besides worrying about drinking today , that the urge to have alcohol is not even a option. I will celebrate with the 12 step group at the PDAP building in Midland, Texas on Wed at 7:30 PM of this week. So if anyone is local , please say you saw my blog and I will be happy to know you.I have no idea of what I will say as my sobriety is due to so many things in my life. From AA Meetings to the spirit of god I pray to everyday to my family being happy I am alive and living without alcohol and pot. That should be enough, as some of the speaker meetings can go on and on. I will not talk about certain things in my life, but I am really an open book when I am at these meetings and I believe that most in my group know my circumstances.

Why do we talk about the past, I guess it is to remember where we came from and how the fight to keeping sober for so long is accomplished to those who cannot even think about being sober for a day. I know I was one of these people, and yet after several treatment centers and breaking so many hearts. I did stay sober this time for myself. It has paid off with love and material things that I have worked for. I live in a nice large house and have a loving puppy that loves me to pieces. I just hope that I can keep on staying sober for one day at a time like I have. That is all it really takes is AA Meetings and believing that you can make it one day at a time until the obsession goes away and it will. Well,thats about all I have to say, back to watching a movie and having a pizza. Goodnight. Christopher Hyer

Social Sobriety Donations

I never thought I would get so low on my finances that I would ask for donations for this blog. The point is I have been unemployed for a while now , and if you find this material to be of substantial value to you, could you please make a donation to PayPal.com The email address associated with my account is chyervalue63@gmail.com. Anything would be appreciated and I will personally send a letter to each and every one of you who make a donation towards this blog and my life stance at it is. I have hit a bottom with income and the jobs I have lined up have not responded as of yet, so therefore my bank account is so low that I cannot grocery shop at this time. I am reaching out and praying to God that the people that visit this site will make a donation towards me and in the name of God as a good gesture of your fortune versus the predicament I am facing at this time.

I never thought it would get this bad for myself and my family. I have only this blog to reach out to other people for help that I do not know , but you know me, as I have been writing since 2011 I believe.
I will somehow pay you back in a way that may be a prayer for you or your money back in future time.This is a reach for hope that I have helped someone stay off drugs or alcohol with this blog and if I have please pay it forward to a person who is in need.I know nothing about oil and gas business and they are not even hiring right now, so I beg of you to give what you can so I may continue to bring you the words on this blog.
I am very aware that the entire country needs money in order to survive and I am just one person who is sober and living by the 12 steps of recovery asking for help. Maybe I am wrong in asking but too much time has passed and the good lord has asked me to reach out to my readers for help.

If you have extra to send to me by PayPal please send a note with the donation and I will return a Thank You letter with hope that you also will be blessed in a way that you might not find yourself as I am right now. God is working through me to work with you. Thank You and Life Is Good. Chris