My Name Is Chris and I am a Alcoholic

 Damn not use to this blogger interface. Hi , hope all is well with you today or tonight. My name is Chris Hyer an I write a diary on my drinking over the years of sobriety. That would be 11 going on 12 years  of no alcohol.One day at a time. Yes that is really true, they have been trying times. There have been problems along the way, but nothing that God could not heal.

Not a one thing in 11 years has God let me down. I have felt like I have let God down over the years . To quit drinking is where you start. That is the hardest part of this program. Is to quit doing something that makes you feel good , but then it kills your internal organs and we cannot drink as much as we would like. Given one might possibly have 20 drinks , that old saying has been going around AA for years and I do not agree totally with it. Just take it one Evening ,morning, whenever you drink try not to. IT will not work, unless you have done this many times then who knows.

 

I thought for sure that Covid would do it for me and my sobriety, but no I am confused about this virus and how it attacks, and it is a killer.This is time for high anxiety for me, and your damn right I take a Xanax for this trouble the China government gave to the World a deadly and scary ass show of power that we seem to not display at certain points in our government. Back to stopping that one drink, try not to go to the store you usaually buy beer or liquor and go by a Coke at another store. This is your safe zone, you just beat a beer. Now get your ass to a AA Meeting..lol             

Chinese Surprise Gift to The USA, The Virus

I am going to start out by saying I do not blame American Chinese citizens that have a corupt way of life. North China always had a love to rule over anyone they can, well it looks like they have succeeded in wiping out the 144 countries that now have the virus. The USA is and will be hit hard with death. So what about drinking to that for about 6- 12 months of sitting at home and drinking and partying and collect checks that wont last a month for most Americans. Not a good idea but  I wonder who or how many alcoholics have lost their sobriety over this war. I am afraid that there will be a few that give in, I know I thought about it. Go to Colorado and buy me some legal weed and drive it back to Texas and if lucky not get caught and sit at home with a few cases of beer and my smoke and block out the news and listen to The Def tones 24hrs a day. Isolation breeds frustration as yes the thought came to mind but reality check I might get thrown in jail and that would really suck at a time like this. I have ten years of sobriety and I have this plan because of the virus.This blog I write for myself so I can look back, and see when I get older than the 56 yrs I am.

Maybe you have thought of similar ways to really fuck up your sober life over the virus. Good reason and I dont blame a single one for falling off the wagon.It can be scary to know that at the minimum the news says 100k to 200k on 3/31/2020 will die  in the USA. My god, the devil is playing games and god is seeing how people will react, in my opinion. He is judging us and our actions as God loves everyone but we get spanked and this time God used a belt and its going to really hurt a lot of women , children and men that did nothing but work hard and lived life as God wants it, not as how we want life.

Hard to swallow why a God like ours would let the world fall apart but there is a reason. I do not know this reason nor do you. My opinion is this is Gods way of telling the people that we are not living right, or should I say the sinners, you and I ask for forgiveness and then we do it again what we did wrong. The world is full of Christian humans but maybe not enough to control the situation?

All I can say is if you are sober you must believe in God, period, not some damn pole like they say in AA, as to pick someone more powerful than you. Well God and the Devil are more powerful than any of us, so who you going to get on your knees for? The devil fucked up my life and God brought me back to my senses. It took a while as the devil was busy and still is with me. I damn this devil that is killing innocent lives, God loves us, he is not punishing us for being human he knew when Adam And Eve we were to be his sinners and to ask for Gods help in need. However how many used the God phone and use it daily? Im addicted to the spirit of the lord and I may not live through this year 2020, and thats ok. God will make this decision, not any President, but Trump has done and is doing a job no one could do, give him credit. Sure he is an asshole but he is a leader.Hillary Clinton can you imagine her in this mess. Shit Im not poised to any political party but I base it on the person. I am glad that Bozo the clown Obama is not involved that pussy of a president.

We have our fearless leader, God. I think and practice praying for everyone in the world and pray for yourself. I dont know why AA says do not ask for selfish presents, why not if you are hurting.I pray for you who reads this crap I wrote but I tend to be a little pissed we have not Nuked N China over this, might as well do it now also. Have a healthy life and dare to come back for more from me. I love everything and eeryone in the world, the problem is they who do harm to people should pay for this or we all will pay for this. There is no tomorrow for sure and even now that is even stronger to say. Try God    Chris

Sobriety in 2020, A New Year For 10 Years

Hello and welcome to my blog. My name is Chris and I am a recovering alcoholic for over ten years straight now as of 2020. The last year was a challenge as all years are with sobriety. Drinking alcohol is not even in my vocabulary or thoughts these days. It is just not a part of my life anymore. I hear people in AA talk about alcohol and re- read the Big Book so many times that I wonder if this is the only way some people can stay sober. Not a popular thing to say but the only time I think of alcohol and the past is when I go to AA. Now that is not a good thing for me however I still go because maybe it has helped me stay sober for this long but I attribute my sobriety to my spiritual beliefs and how I conduct my life on a daily basis. I do not have time to drink alcohol or even at that I cannot even conceive having a hangover. This is not acceptable to me, I cannot live in this manner and to slip and go back to drinking is not possible in my head.Its been one more year 2019 that I have lived without a drink and do I think of alcohol , not really. There is no place in my life for this luxury.

I believe one must reach a point in his sobriety where the mentality of drinking is just not there anymore. The thoughts of getting loaded are gone after an amount of time. I made my mind up the first year that no more alcohol was to be had with me. It had caused me too many problems with my life. Ruined relations and jobs in which I had many. AA is good for people that want to stop drinking but in the long term one must come to rely upon himself that this is the kind of life you will live one day at a time. The rewards for not drinking are abundant but not realized after a period of non drinking. Its just life without getting stoned drunk on a daily basis. Of course some will like what I am saying others will debate me on AA, as I think AA is a crutch for some alcoholics. They need the AA and Big Book read over and over day after day to stay sober. After a while it just sinks into my brain and remember what passages I liked and helps me and yes I read "How it works", almost daily to remind me of who I am.Therefor , I am not saying AA has not helped, it has but in the end I am the one with the money and hands to pick up a drink from the store and start the madness all over again and that is called insanity to me. I have enough mental problems to not throw in alcohol with the existing anxieties and depression I might have from time to time. I read on how to help myself in those situations or give it up to God and we work on the problem. Running is so easy to do yet facing the facts I have a problem and working through my issues have made me stronger and a better person than I was ten years ago.

So sobriety in 2020 will be no different unless I have to change in a manner to keep my sobriety intact. This is very important in all my affairs is to stay sober even when times are not going that well. Yes it is not an easy task at times but that is when I go to AA and my friends that do not drink will listen to me and I listen to them and every thing seems to go ok for that moment.I keep reading and praying all during the day is my secret to living a sober day. Hopefully others have learned the art of using a hgher power than themselves to go to and listen to problems that might arise on a daily basis.

I wish everyone a great new year and if your thinking about quitting alcohol , then that is just wonderful and I wish you the best!! Happy New Year Chris

Time Moves Forward with a Clear Head

Alcohol, and drugs can blur our minds, and make us believe in things that are not true. When I sobered up , reality was hard to handle . I battled reality through my sobriety and still wanted things to go my way for almost 10 years. We all want things to work out just like we intend them, however this is not happening. Believe in God and things or days will go with the flow and nothing will over whelm you that you cannot live with. It is a two way street , you must accept those things that use to baffle us and continue to baffle us, but do not try to control them. Life is a struggle and it is tough at times but if you stay close to the 12 steps of living life day to day then all will be better just not exactly the way you might have expected.
Change is something we alcoholics are pretty good at. If you think about it we changed where we lived in hopes of stop drinking when we were in a new place but continued to drink. Change when one is sober is good but can be strange and scary. This is when you pause take a deep breath of fresh air and let go and let God into life. The answer will come, your body will go into motion at times reluctantly but usually for a positive reason for you at this time of day. Hopefully you understand what I am saying. I have ten years of sobriety and live life one day at a time. I do not consciously do this but it has become habit. I don't think to far in the future , I stay in the moment and try to see what I can give all the day to others. Try this in your life and see how it goes. Take Care. Chris

Does Drinking Consume Your Life?

Does Drinking Consume Your Life?

By Chris

Does drinking alcohol consume most of your off time? Then you might be alcoholic, do You drink because you have to have the rush alcohol gives to you. Do you often black out from too much to drink? Well, these are examples of drinking too much but does it mean you cannot control your life because of these habits? These are things in life to consider if it takes up your lifetime. In other words, do you spend time with your wife drunk most of the time and around your family? You are the only one that can stop the insanity. Now you did not want to hear that but this is true. No one can make someone sober. You can encourage a person to get help, but don’t be rude about it. Try informing this drinker that maybe he or she should not drink because of this and that problem in your life.

Treatment centers surround themselves with the 12 step program, but is this outdated? It still works is what some would say and it is the only way. I do not subscribe to this theory as I have seen time and time again an alcoholic attends meetings right and left then went back to drinking so AA will not save you so who the fuck will save your drunk ass. You, and that is a hard concept to take hold of. You are in control and you know this deep down, but unable to admit it to your inner self or to God. Yes, God is the spirit that has made you and brought you into this world. If you don’t believe me on God I will surely debate you. No, you do not have to attend church, but it would not hurt going. I do not go to church but I feel good after I go for some reason. I guess for me I am blessed and maybe you are also that drinking is a blackout of my life substance I do not think of. So why the blog, well it is to document my progress through my ten years of sobriety, coming in May 2019. The trials and miracles that have happened to me. Nothing too far out but I have and still am growing up with sobriety. Social sobriety is the world and how I interact with life sober and conduct myself. Enjoy Life Today 3.30.2019

Sober and Making Mistakes

Just because I am sober does not mean I don't make big mistakes. I make mistakes every day and I pray that I stop but I am so bullheaded that I continue on making stupid mistakes. I sin, and therefore in God's book, I am normal to that extent. However I grow each day that I am sober, I step back two steps and forward one step. It would seem I lack self-discipline or dislike it. I am not sure what will come to me the next day, I change jobs like I change underwear because I don't like this or that and this has put me in a bind. I just cannot get comfortable with myself, maybe you experience these issues. I disappoint people still and I disappoint myself. How do I stay sober? I pray a lot and go to AA and I do not want to feel the alcoholic bad ever again, that is why I don't drink. Beside that I am honest to an extent, I cannot lie and get away with it.

Making mistakes that hurt people are not what I intend to do but at times this is what happens. It makes me sad to hurt a person especially a family member, but I get defensive at times and bow up over things I could have done differently. We all make mistakes if human, and some more often then others. I recognize this and that is why I am writing about mistakes and being sober. God knows when I was drinking I made huge mistakes and I paid for them dearly.

I probably need to hit more meetings and work my program, because I am coasting on the sober hiway right now, which does not feel

 right. Have a good day. Chris

Give Thanks To for Sobriety and just for Livng

The living is a given item that God has control over us all. You may not believe in God but you might think about this twice. Every day in every way God is in my life showing me the right thing to do and the wrong . I learn like you must be learning from reading this blog that I place a lot of spiritual influence into my life to keep going through one day to the next. I take chances that could land me in trouble, I lie at times which I hope I am forgiven by God. You do not have to go to church to know God, and it might be best if you do. I am not pushing you to church but just imagine if you pray to God and your dreams come true, they will. It will not happen when you want this to happen, the signs of a spirit are shown to us every day in all different ways. To stay sober you will need a higher power such as God. I don't believe there is any other higher power except for evil or the Devil. Do you believe the devil exists? I do and yes he has crept into my life on occasion but God usually takes care of the evil thoughts and sets me straight so I do the right thing, and believe in the right spirit. Think about it. What if God could fix all your problems? I have an answer, he can if you let him. So if you are drinking,

say a prayer to God to help you stop. Meditate on this in your own way not how someone may tell you. It is best to meet Godhead on then rely on other humans. The drinking will go away but you have to take action with prayer. Have a good Valentine Day and love one another. Chris

The Superbowl Sober

Well in our country the number one show last night was the Superbowl 53 which was quite a game. I remember past Superbowls for the last ten years but beyond that, I was always drunk. Yes, beer was to be had for sure at a Superbowl party, no excuses, however, that is not true. It took me a long time to realize that every occasion something special happens is not a drinking occasion. This was one of those nights, so what did I do? I don't watch football much at all anyway, but I did enjoy being safe at home and watching the colorful game by myself, without alcohol. That is how I live my life. I am sure there were a group of AA people watching the game but I really switch between channels when I watch football. Since being sober I spend a lot of my time alone anyway and this night was no different than any other night for Chris. I am not lonely, I just prefer to enjoy what I want to do and I enjoy being by myself for the most part. When I am in groups I talk and enjoy a group crowd for a little bit then I am ready for my time. There is a new book out on people like myself that just enjoys being alone and having to entertain me is not too hard. I have a recording studio with instruments and I can let my feelings come out in my music. It is very therapeutic and it calms me when stressed, it is my alcoholic memory that use to stifle my artistic creation of music. I listen to tracks I cut back when I was high or drunk and some are good and some are terrible. Being sober they are mostly good tunes that I create and share on a different program online and make money.

So you don't have to drink on these special occasions like a football game or Christmas or when it is Monday, lol. Once you can get a grip on the fact that alcohol does you no good, will you understand what I am talking about? Life has it's up and downs and right now I am neutral in how I feel. I was hit in the rear of my new vehicle last week and usually, that would have pissed me off, but now I am just waiting for the damage to be fixed and that's all I can do. Sure I could sue this fellow for a few things but that is not what this life is about, to get back at someone that made a mistake. God knows I make several mistakes every day. Have a good one,
Chris

Today Is A New Day and There May not Be a Next Day

We have all heard the saying, "live today as it was your last day". This is true in life as we really don't know what will happen tomorrow, or if we will live that long. I was hit in my car by a big pickup and shattered my life for just a few seconds, what happens when you are in shock of what just happened. The one thing about accidents is when they shock you, a thought in the back of my head is ok, am I alright? Am I dead? then all of a sudden you wake up, this takes only a few milliseconds after an accident. Then you realize that you are alive and now what is my next action to be. Reality comes into play and you think of what could have happened. Like when you use to drink too much, at times you might have done this with intentions of not waking up the next morning. Then when you inflict this type of drug or pain on your body you wake up hurting and feeling worse than ever. I am pretty sure we have all tried to make ourselves miserable but not on purpose usually. If I could only drink a case of beer and wake up feeling good and up early in the morning not thinking of how bad my head hurts and that nasty taste in my mouth from beer in the morning.

Life is unusual, we all test our limits or at least I have in most everything I do.I am sober almost 10 years and I have no desire to take one drink. I think that is a miracle from God as it was difficult to quit and also I stopped smoking cigs. So that is two habits that I stopped at a treatment center because I wanted to, and I pray about it daily and still read and go to AA meetings. I don't rely on anything but myself for not drinking. I do believe that AA is very important to go to, however, it can become old and addictive in itself. However, it is good for your soul when your tired and lonely, go to an AA meeting and get something good out of it. Usually, you will.

Living one day at a time is still difficult for me as I look toward the future. I do not think it is bad, to actually predict what I might do the next day if God lets me live for this day. We have to make plans but yes they do get altered, and sometimes a surprise will come about in a good way that we did not expect. So try to stay sober one day at a tie, go to AA when you need it, and pray to God for letting you live in the moment. Chris

CBD and Addiction

CBD which is from Hemp plants is being used on virtually everything we like. You can use it as a cream, smoke it, take it in liquid form, etc. Is it good for you? I would have to say that I tried it and might still be interested in this product for addiction. I have found I do not crave andy drug or alcohol with CBD. That does not mean anything except that I think there might be some popular ideas for this CBD in recovery for addicts. Who knows how far pharmacology and CBD will proceed. If you read the Internet on the benefits of CBD, you might think it is a miracle drug. Yet, when Prozac came out it was thought to be the intelligent pill to get from Dr.s and this turned out negative. There are not any real recent findings from The Mayo clinic or other recognized studies except a few you will find on Epilepsy cure for children that CBD seems to appear to help. Thousands of stories from people trying Hemp and CBD has made a few of us confused. They are making coffee with Hemp and cola is coming out with CBD soon. The 2014 Farm Bill was signed by Mr. Trump last week and that has made it legal to grow in the USA, and there are no miracle drug claims by the government.

My take is am I breaking my sobriety by using Hemp myself? I would say no because I do not get high from this product. What does it do for me? It is like the calm after a storm type of feeling. Not overly good feeling like Marijuana or alcohol., yet a relaxing break in your life while on CBD. How long does it last? It depends on how you take it. Smoking Hemp will make the CBD instantly come into your bloodstream and you feel a peaceful calm and that is about it. Some call this a body high, whatever the fuck that means. I never felt high, but relaxed and ready to just sit back and take it easy, without being high or any mind-altering way.

Can CBD help with addiction? Possibly those answers are in the internet and of course, people are going to say yes it is good and part will say it adds problems. I take chances but not with my sobriety, therefore
 beware of what you read from me.lol.....Chris

Find Your Inner Demon and Stop Addiction

All of us have a demon type disease that wants pleasure from activities that are or could be harmful to your health. Maybe you have no addictions, if not you would not understand where I am coming from. However, built-in addicted persons are this evil pleasure maker for addicts. We get off on feeding this evil being by drinking too much or any type of drug addiction. This applies to all addictions including gambling, that we want to feel different than we do right this second. Some of us are willing to hand this over to God and AA to get rid of the affection in alcohol. This also means you will probably have another addiction to take the pleasure point in your body to new highs. We, addicts, choose to smoke, drink to much coke, or ice cream and cake, and a good portion of us are overweight in eating to control our nerves. Try to discover those things that you might be doing that are probably not good for you and that you may be obsessed with what might be killing yourself such as snuff and cigarettes for example. We alcoholics can get addicted to most everything pleasurable in our lives. It can make for a big mess in your sober life. Trading addictions have bothered me from day one, and I still work on them. I am not trying to be perfect just sane and a member of the community, sober. Just a Thought. Chris

Slot Machines and Drinking, Are they the Same?

I am an avid gambler an addicted gambler, there I have admitted it in front of millions of people. I am not proud of this activity, but it is the truth. I am also an alcoholic with nine years of sobriety. The problem I run into in life in addition to most everything that I find appealing. I am not aware of my problem until I hit a bottom of some sort, and with casinos online and offline, I have hit a bottom. Damn, another problem to add to my list, but do most people have problems of the sort? I am not sure but I know I have addiction problems with most everything that gives me a rush of adrenaline. I came upon some money at Christmas that was not expected and what didi do with it. I gambled 70 percent of it and lost and won, but in the end, I was broke. Feeling stupid and guilty of what I have done I expressed what has happened to a couple of people and they just looked at me like whats new Chris?

SO once addicted to drugs, alcohol, and whatever, I am marked for life by my family. I am very lonely in my life and I try not to be. Should I change where I live, change jobs, I have no friends except for AA and they Fuck up also like I do and laugh. I find no humor in being addicted to things that please me, in fact, I get very depressed and feel isolated. I pray to God for answers and I might not be listening. Do you have other addictions in your life besides alcohol? Let me know so I don't feel like the only one out here living this life. Please comment on this topic or others if you will. This page gets about 50 hits a day so I know people are reading my personal journal that I have decided to post in a blog for myself.

Living sober is one day at a time, however living life is many days at a time for me. I have to think of the future and my past, as the past never really goes away. It is smeared by my brain but too old friends and family,
my past is well alive. They are grateful that I don't drink today but it is all the other things in my world I have to deal with that get so damn confusing at times. Have a good New Year! Please comment. Chris

Sober after The Holidays

It's been nine years since I have taken a drink of alcohol, and I have to say that a holiday without alcohol is ok with me. After the first few years, it was strange to not drink during the entire Holiday binge. I missed out a lot of Christmas's and was a mellow drunk back in the day anyway, so most did not know I was wasted. Thank God another year is about to come I guess. I can't stop it but I can make changes to my behavior that need fixed/ One thing is to find more to do with my spare time beside housework, get involved and socialize, I am very closet minded and comfortable in my little own world, which can be a hazard to my health, I get to thinking too much. This is called boredom I think, here it has been almost ten years and I love life, need to change my personal habits such as sitting on the couch and watching TV and resting. Maybe it is just a case that I am not used to knowing how to rest? I was always on the go when I was younger I am 55 and a man and I have been thinking about writing a book as a hobby and of course for the money. I also think my book can provide some people with insight into life. So it would be a positive thing to do, except my Internet Gambling gets in the way. Yeah, been playing for about 8 years and lost more than I made and this is another addiction I have to address this year.

Addiction is all around my body, whether it is chocolate cake or steaks, I can make an addiction that is hard to break out of anything I do. This is built in every addicted person's body I hear with alcoholism. How to treat it is by AA terms by going to meetings and reading the Big Book. I have to say they might be partly right but it is me who has to do the work on changing constantly and it is not a chore just an inconvenience to me. You may find that I am on a level with you and I am just telling the story of your own life in a fashion. I am sober and I can communicate, and I am smart. I just make a lot of mistakes, some on purpose to see the outcome and some I did not even know I was saying or doing. The holiday sober look for me was normal. I am very shy around my family, maybe it is guilt from the years of making an ass out of myself. I am just me and that is all we can be. The good, bad, and ugly. Enjoy the new year and I hope to be starting my book soon, once finished I will let you know. It is a self-help book for those who are looking for work but just don't know how to go about this.I have a lot of tips and advice that I have come around the last few years.See you in 2019!! Please comment if you like. Chris 12/29/2018

Midland, Texas Oil Boom and Sobriety, Is It a Joke

I was thinking of all the people that have moved back to the West Texas town in the Desert call Midland, Texas. Midland is halfway between El Paso and Dallas, Texas, therefore, the name Midland, the halfway point from the cities of DFW to the border of Mexico. Do we have a wide variety or folks? Yes, from the Cartels from El Paso that is making money off the locals with drugs to the bustling city of DFW that brings in Businessmen and women to cash in on the oil boom. To stay sober in a city like Midland is absolutely an incredible feat for anyone. No real entertainment except for the rich who drink away the days and nights and others from areas of the USA that want to cash in on the boom. However with Apartments, if you can find one, start at 1700 a month for a one bedroom. The unemployment rate is like 2.2 percent and people with houses here rent rooms out for 600 to 1200 a month for a room out of their houses. Go to Craigslist if you think I might be wrong and look up housing here plus jobs. There are more jobs than qualified people, so a lot of companies are training you for a position that only exists in the oil field. So beware because this is the third boom I have seen in Midland then it will bust like usual. Then all the people that came here will leave the deserted area of the country. Most are smart this time and bring RV's hooked up to massive pickup trucks for work in the fields. The problem is where to find land to park the RV.

In AA I've noticed people from all over the country filling up rooms at several AA clubs in town. That is good, but the worst thing I think I have noticed is the homeless sleeping in cars, nice cars, cause they can't find a place to spend 1100 a month to sleep in, that is fucking sad. But hey this is where the jobs are and if you are fortunate and have a roof over your head and paying the prices of living here, you really won't make more money due to the expenses you are having to shell out for this move to Midland or maybe some will.

The bars stay full and there are plenty of DWI people in AA trying to get off the charges from excessive drinking in town so I assume the city is making some good money from these alcoholics. So everyone benefits from a boom in Midland and Odessa, Texas. I can hardly blame most people for drinking while they stay in this city, as it is an activity that is popular and pushed by the local beer makers conventions here almost every other few months. That's entertainment, however, I forget to mention we do get top musical acts coming here to play because again the money is here.

There are churches here almost on every other block in the town and I am sure they benefit from all the people that arrive in this town, and God bless them. So if your spiritual or religious there are a few churches to entertain you as well. My advice to someone coming here is to research the options for where you are going to live, put a deposit down, and call today to schedule an Interview, because you will get hired, and some are on the spot interviews and that is why most are unprepared to live here, they are making 40k at Whataburger but no place to sleep. Now that is not an exaggeration, but the truth.

If you are a recovery person from a 12 step addiction, get yourself a home group as soon as you can and maybe make a friend or two, and maybe things will work out just fine. AA people who practice the program usually have a higher power that helps these people perform miracles and these are needed in this town in order to live a sober and good life in Midland, Texas.
Good Luck and God Bless.

Recovering Addict and Being Normal

What is normal? That is the million dollar question. Is anyone really normal? There are so many different types of people and they have so many beliefs. I would guess normality would be a sane person that abides by most of our laws and has a job, maybe a wife and a kid, but that statement is not true either. So I do know that to walk around drunk or high during the day or night, probably is not normal but in movies, they depict this as being normal.

I believe if you are doing right by Gods way that you must be somewhat normal. Don't hurt others on purpose and abide by the ten commandments the best as you can seem like you are trying to be a good citizen and good human. If you drink that does not make you a bad person if you drink because of problems then that is normal but not a good excuse. Complicated as it may seem, I think the most of us that respect others and treat them as we would like to be treated is the best idea of being a good human and reflects a normal attitude. We all have our sins that we commit to our bodies, whether it is eating too much or drinking too much, but we don't really hurt anyone but ourselves and it affects others who live around us.

Being a recovering alcoholic is normal and it is part of living for a good majority of us. There are some people that will never know what it is to have a year of sobriety, and that is a shame. However if one seeks to get away from the stuff and really believes in a higher power, I believe they can lead a normal way of life like the rest of our normal people in this world. Even after nine years of sobriety, I think it is normal for a person to have a glass of wine and smoke a joint and enjoy it. My problem is I never could accomplish this and would go overboard with the drink or find other drugs. Life is a trip and hopefully,
you read this and get something out of it. If not I enjoy entertaining myself with these words I write. Have a good day and God Bless You. Chris

Grateful For What God Has So Freely Given Me

It is easy for me to get lost in my problems with life and forget to be grateful for those things in which God has given me. It is easy to get lost in the confusion of the day and realize that I am sober from alcohol and drugs and should be grateful that God has given me the strength to carry forward in this life. I am grateful to be able to type this at 8:00 AM on Friday morning because eight years ago I sure would of not been doing this blog. I was always hung over and to combat the hangover I would smoke a joint upon waking then the cycle of the addiction would take over my day.

I believe we all have all sorts of issues we have to deal with on a daily basis. The best way I prepare for the next day is to not expect that I will have another next day, I give it to God in prayer at night and ask him to do for me what I can't do for myself and to guide me , that is about it. Upon waking the next morning , surprise phone calls or seeing my dog wag her tail at me in enthusiasm is a wonderful start to a new day. My days are not perfect, and I still have my faults but I am clear headed and make some sense of what I am doing for the most part of the day. I try to help another human being out as often as I can but I forget to do this also, and then it comes natural. Helping another person out takes me out of self and makes me feel useful to this life. I am ever so grateful for God in making me a sober individual that my family wants to be around, and my friends also. This is a blessing, even the computers I have to write this blog are miracles to have considering when I was in my addiction I had no car or anything of materials as I sold most all twice in my life to afford my addiction to alcohol and drugs. I hit bottom so many times , I have lost count, I don't think this will happen again, or i at least pray for this not to be the case for me. Have a grateful Day, Chris

Living Sober and "The act of normality"

What is a normal person? This question is one in which I think has several different possibilities. Is an alcoholic a normal person? Could be , depends how you look at society. Society has a lot of people who drink alcohol. If you ask me , I think most people drink alcohol, I just assume this as normal. Also in reality I think there are a lot of problems with these people who continue to drink and their everyday lives. Alcohol, can really taste good but can it really improve yourself? I think it can temporarily make a person think he is better than he is and possibly think he is on top of the world and or some type of God. However that is my perception of the world. Or should I say the USA. The United States probably has more alcoholics than any other country.
Normal is a word for people who appear to have their act together with family, wealth and finances and perfect marriages, which we know is not true. If we were all so called normal then we would have no problems and life would have a lot of rose colored cheeks on peoples faces with big smiles. I don't see that every where, but I do see it at times. To be normal is to be your self , the good and the bad, hopefully the bad will go away if you want it to or will it to.

In the dictionary "Normal" means, " conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.", so I guess I am normal and maybe you are also. We just have problems which are normal as well. 

Some people are above the normal state , in money and in their living habits, we all want something we don't have. Try to be happy with your normaily and being a recovering alcoholic is perfectly a normal state of being.Chris 

Enjoy Your Kids Sober

I am very blessed with a fine young man that is my son. He does not live with myself , but he is 23 also. He is so very special even from day one. He was and is a quite young man and handsome , he does not smoke or drink , and never has done drugs or even said a cuss word for all I know. Almost incredible , I know. He is my Angel from God , and I do worry about him as he isolates himself because he has Autism or some form of this , and he is a happy guy at least. He lives with his mom and her husband , which I am glad he does, as I worry about his down time. They seem to keep a good eye out for him. He is one of the major reasons I got sober and it was to do with court and my ex wife. But time passes and he grew up with a dad that has always loved him. He never has let me down, which I cannot say about myself. I let my parents down all the time for over thirty years. I only cared about what Chris could get out of them. I was not responsible and even being a sober man of my age , stll have problems with responsibility issues, with a lot of issues in that fact.

AA has helped me get a grip on life, as I don't push AA on people, this is a very private thing , however I do make it known at times, because I want to. I live each day grateful that I have what I do , such as my son. If I had a son that was like me growing up , I could not afford to get him out of trouble like I was. I never hurt anyone on purpose, but that is what alcoholics do, and don't realize, is we hurt the ones we love the most. This thought never even hit my head until I sobered up. My son , thank God, never saw me in a state of being drunk , because I did not want him to see me this way. He was and still to an extent a little bit in awe about what alcohol and drugs have done to me. He ask questions and I tell him the truth. However he loves me and lately I see more of him because he wants to see me. This has recently been the case. He drives over and sometimes we just don't know what to do with each other. We sit in quite and peace and maybe that is what he likes when he comes over. I don't want to bore him, yet I isolate myself pretty good , and I am still working on this. In a town such as Midland , the number one thing to do is go to nightclubs for the single set. I have not even stepped into a bar in over eight years, as I know this is not for me. I stay home and watch TV or get on the computer and browse for sport cars I can't afford. I always stay busy doing something that is beneficial to my brain or just resting on occasion.It is hard to really know what the real normal people do in their lives. I seem to think I might be acting like one now. They don't sit around and drink theirs elves into oblivion like i use to and light up a joint and watch TV. I did this for so many years that eight years of not doing this has thrown me off. I am working at this however, slowly but surely I am regaining a little bit of sense to my life.
God makes sure that we live in the moment, and this is difficult at times and God loves you and me. The future I try to let God inform me, but this is difficult as I am the one who acts on my feelings. I pray and pray, but I am not struggling with a alcohol problem now, it is just a living problem. I guess this is just life.Have a good Night. Chris Hyer

Sober and What Becomes when We stay Sober

I have a lot on my plate lately, but it has been good and different. Lost my step father, however , I know he is with God. I am
not sad, just motivated to start my life on a new turn.I have been lookig for another job, as the one I have is not what I like to do. I have prayed about this daily and my prayers are coming true. I have had a few consultants call me on jobs that I like to do. Times in Midland are booming again with the oil field picking up and that brings in more business and retail shops, plus high prices.I will take advantage of the time I have and focus on the reality of being sober and alive. At times , I feel really lonely but then I get a glimpse of how lucky and fortunate I have in my life. I am thankful that I am not in a wheel chair , I am thankful I have some money, and food, plus a house that has musical instruments for me to pass the time, and hopefully get better.I have more than I deserve in material things, and yes most of it has been put o credit cards, so work has to continue.I like work and meeting new people, and I like doing certain types of work. Now I have a choice and that makes life a bit easier. However I am sober,and if not for AA and my program I could not feel this way. When a person gets off the beer or whatever, they have plenty of free time, at first . Then after a few years you realize this free time is just not there for drinking. I look back and made my free time available for smoking pot and drinking beer. I did not get much out of it except for misery in the end.

 This misery has stopped eight years ago, however it does get replaced by something called isolation time. This isolation time is not too good either, a little bit is ok. To rest and pray and relax is all good and healthy, but not all day long...lol...I think my age of 54 is starting to slip it's ugly head in, as I know what I want but at times what I want is not what others want . I do miss having a girl to love, I have met one recently in AA and she was a sweetheart , so I thought, then she shut me down like I did not exist, so beware of other alcoholics that you might like to date. We are still sick in a fashion, just not sick from doing the wrong things. God Bless Chris Hit THE FOLLOW BUTTON FOR MORE

The Sober Life Daily

I have had a pretty good week. I am waiting for my new job to start. I start on Monday and I will be traveling every week with this job. I like the idea of getting out of town, but there is not much social life to traveling unless I make it. I can hit AA meetings in other cities at night and take my guitars with me and practice in the room, so I will have most of the comforts of home. Living daily sober takes changes evry now and then. It seems like I am changing everything at times to stay sober and making a living. This is good as my life progresses into a middle aged man that was once a drunk with a hangover every day. I would have to say daily I am grateful for my life and the things I have aquired and people that I have met in the AA program that has changed my thought pattern and life.I have had ups and owns but have dealt with this with God and others who know where I am in my recovery. It is a full time job staying sober. However faith without works is death.

Life is complicaated as you might make it or it can be a fulfilling promise of all the good in the world. I would like to think I am seeing good right now. I have a girlfriend who cares about me, she is in the program. Of course this type of relationship is confusing at times.So enjoy the sober life today and rock on with God.Chris