Monday, February 29, 2016

Miracles and Sobriety On a Monday

It is Monday again and the miracles keep happening. I was called on Saturday and told that I had my job. There is paperwork to get through now and that will take a day or two. I need to start making money so I am happy. It has taken 6 months for anything like a full time job. However God has given me the talent to make money through Uber, Online , eBay and a multitude of resources to accomplish my goals avery day. I have had low times during the last 6 months and I have had good times. This is life, I believe people would call it. Living life sober and through the tough times is part of the test.


Please don't give up on whatever you are trying to accomplish, as I never have given up hope that something good would happen to me job wise. It can look dark at times but it is no reason to ruin yourself over these dark times. That is what God has taught me through these last 6 months of unemployment. He told me not to give up. I did not, even at times I had to reach out for help with money from my family and such. I felt guilty but they were more than willing to help me cause they knew I was trying to help myself. I had to battle a lot of fears in this conquest but a hundred fears and a bit of lonelyness will not get me down. I keep my head up high and my thoughts and prayers to God that what I have gone through might help someone else on this blog see that miracles do come through if you want them to. 


I had a hard time with being unemployed and it bothered me but just don't let it get you down and attend AA meetings when youc an during the day it helps. Chris

Saturday, February 27, 2016

Sobriety On Saturday

It is glorious that I awoke sober and wide eyed and ready to go to an AAA meeting to see my friends and to make small talk about how the day is going. That is what I do on a Saturday morning. I think I will fly a kite today as well. I have the idea that my drones are not flying well in the wind. I kept crashing the damn things yesterday. Funny , I just got a call asking me if i could pick up a former Uber rider. I cant do this cause Uber is not in Midland anymore. Weird. But back on the subject, I have to stay busy on the weekends, cause I am thinking of the weekdays sometimes, and right now, I still have no job. The job market had dried up in Midland and Odessa, Texas. There is harsdly anything one can get . Maybe a 7-11 job, but I have asked a few of them and they were not hiring.
So staying mentally busy is important to my sobriety so my mind does not wonder around during the day. I just got hired!! have a good day..chris

Friday, February 26, 2016

Social Sobriety and Friday Nights

It is Friday the 26th of February and the weekend is upon us again. This just goes round and round with me. One day just leads into another and since I am not Full time working yet, it really makes no difference what day this is.
I remember when I was drinking and smoking , that Friday was the start of a new party for the weekend, like the whole world was partying like I was because I had a few days off on the weekend and did not have to answer to anyone. When you sober up , it just becomes a holiday of sorts. You get to get out of the house and freshen up , buy groceries for the following week, clean house and vaccum carpets and play with the dog. I do a little bit of art painting sometimes on the however I write a lot more on the weekends and still am glued to the computer screen most of the time.
weekends ,
I enjoy these little flying drones I have picked up online for minimal money, and fly these when the weather is calm. They are fun for some reason, I guess to see if your going to crash or get it up high like a kite. In fact flying a kite would be cheaper and if you damage a kite , its pretty easy to replace a kite. That gives me another idea, go sly a kite.
I guess I do whatever I can to get out of myself. I have been know to go to Hobbs NM and go gambling on some weekends but I don't recommend this as a hobby to practice on every weekend. It canbecome another addiction and I have been addicted to this activity also. So whatever your plans are go to a meeting of AA if you can find the time. Meet with others and discuss your plans for the future or get some help with a problem. Then start the weeek on Monday being productive once again for the weekday...God Bless Chris

Thursday, February 25, 2016

Sobriety and Waiting

Have you ever caught yourself witing for things to happen, like a phone call. An important date or a call from an employer. The waiting is drastic on a person, whom has not much in patience. As a former drinker, I never had any patience and I have had to learn patience from my sobriety and learn to occupy my time with other things while waiting for that call or person.
I paint sometimes and that is a good time killer and I like to fly drones, that is fun but waiting is still something I need to be working on. The awakening of being sober on a daily basis is a blessing from God. It is nice to wake up in the morning and not have a hangover or worry about blacking out from the night before. A plus for being sober, and if a hard drinker not having to wake up and take that drink means you really have come a long way.
Sobriety brings along with it things that are normal to most people. Those whom I talk about do not have a drinking problem. I watch TV and see all the drinking the actors are doing in a movie and makes me wonder if they are drinking for real or just drinking lemonade. I tend to think they are really drinking alcohol, and what does it matter. I would say I get a little bit thirsty when I see these movies but it last for just a few seconds, then my mind reflects back to myself and my drinking and sobering up. I am very grateful I do not drink , do I miss it. Yes and no . I think you know what I mean, I miss the taste at times, but I don't miss what a fool I made of myself when drinking. I was very lonely drinker. ANyway have a good day, mine is on an even keel right now. God Bless.

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Amazing God and Sobriety

I think I had given up on God a little bit and now that I see this my life has more of a fulfilling purpose everyday lately. I went to AA last night and spiritually bound with a few people. I work the steps every day without even noticing this activity. I have a job lined up and I am just waiting on them to tell me when I can start. I feel good , the sunis shinning and the summer weather in Midland is noce. It gets cold and dark at night and then heats up during the day. This has made my mood a lot better as well.
I have not given up is the point I am making. I am trying everything I can to keep my head up high and smile everyday. I got in a slump for a few days and this happens when you have nothing to really do.
Just believe in God and stay sober today and remeber all the good things you may have going in your life, and maybe you will not get down like I have recently. Its very easy to get caught up in yourself, and now I think I know this. Sobriety is an ongoing living item in a Drunks life. We have ups and downs. I am feeling good today and I hope you are also..Chris

Sunday, February 21, 2016

Sobriety and Confusion about Life

Lately , if you have read my post on this blog, you have noticed I have been confused about what to do with my life. I have been sober for almost eight years and going through a battle over what to do with my lifestyle and work. I am a very isolated person, and just like my drinking days , I was isolated back then as well. I never really ventured out to the bar scene in my drinking years. I was always drinking at homw trying to make money and friends over the Internet with Photography I had taken during the day , to making music , and I have a large selection of music I have produced on Soundlcoud.com I am very talented in music and other hobbies of interest. I was always trying to cash in on my hobbies and some times i did with my art work and sometime I did not.
I was heading to Austin this weekend for a possible new start but I can't swing the financial situation I am in right now to move to another city.

Confusion while sober is one of the problems I continue to have. I want this and that and my direction is scattered at times in which way to go. My head is on straight but my soul desires other things. I am not in a relationship nor have I been in over 20 years. This may be a problem, I need a woman around me to keep me comfortable and to have company. Maybe I am running from myself agian by choosing to leave where I have a house and no job right now. The job will come sooner or later. I have been working at puttting out Resumes and had a few interviews m, so surekly God will provide me with what I need. God has always been there for me, even in the rough of times and I am in those times now.

I guess praying for the confusion to stop and help me settle down and be proud of what I have . Being sober isnot all that is required to staying productive and living life. It is a good start and things can only get better not worse. I have to remeber that I have been through some hell back in my drinking days and I am having to pay for the lack of education and work experience because of what I have done in my drinking days. I have learned a lot from people in my last eight years of sbriety and one important item is just staying sober and relying upon God to help me out with my living conditions. I live very well and I am not looking at going homeless or anything drastic like that and years back I had been homeless and I very well know how hard it is to get a job from being homeless. I am blessed that God has held on to me and made me powerful to understand that it is not me that is causing the non-working consition I am in. It is the times in the county I live in . Oil prices are very low and it is hurting the economy in Midlnad , Texas and therfore the work is just not there.

Life can only get better if I leave it up to God to help me find my direction. Confusion and sobriety can go hand in hand but it does not have to. I think for today I will focus on my music and play for God and on Monday , the new day will be better than the the last day. Chris

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Sober and Heading To Austin, Texas

I have decided to head for Austin, Texas to Interview for a job that pays well and has great benifits. Only God knows how this will turn out.The move from Midland to Austin will be costly but God will find a way if this is meant to happen. I have one job in limbo in Midland, they have not gotten back with me , and I need to puch forward as I cannot wait for thier HR department in California to decide if I am hired or not. I have to get the ball rolling. I can't just sit here and pray the phone will ring or an email will come in. Some companies take forever and this is and injustice to people that are needind a paycheck.
Austin is not new to me , as I lived there during my drinking years, however I have no family down in Austin and this will be confusing if I decide to move to Austin. Im 52 and a little nervous about another move. I used to move constantly when I drank, I dont know how I did it. Now with more resposibility a new move is harded for me. The cost of the move the mentality of living away from my parents, but the number one thing is I need a good paying job and I guess most people who are single like myself , do move when they can to acceopt a new job in a new city. The boss or owner of this Austin job seems like a nice fellow, but I also want to make sure its the right career choice. Maybe a choice is not what I have , I just have to go for it. I am praying for the right answers...Chris

Friday, February 19, 2016

Social Sobriety Donations

I never thought I would get so low on my finances that I would ask for donations for this blog. The point is I have been unemployed for a while now , and if you find this material to be of substantial value to you, could you please make a donation to PayPal.com The email address associated with my account is chyervalue63@gmail.com. Anything would be appreciated and I will personally send a letter to each and every one of you who make a donation towards this blog and my life stance at it is. I have hit a bottom with income and the jobs I have lined up have not responded as of yet, so therefore my bank account is so low that I cannot grocery shop at this time. I am reaching out and praying to God that the people that visit this site will make a donation towards me and in the name of God as a good gesture of your fortune versus the predicament I am facing at this time.
I never thought it would get this bad for myself and my family. I have only this blog to reach out to other people for help that I do not know , but you know me, as I have been writing since 2011 I believe.
I will somehow pay you back in a way that may be a prayer for you or your money back in future time.This is a reach for hope that I have helped someone stay off drugs or alcohol with this blog and if I have please pay it forward to a person who is in need.I know nothing about oil and gas business and they are not even hiring right now, so I beg of you to give what you can so I may continue to bring you the words on this blog.
I am very aware that the entire country needs money in order to survive and I am just one person who is sober and living by the 12 steps of recovery asking for help. Maybe I am wrong in asking but too much time has passed and the good lord has asked me to reach out to my readers for help.
If you have extra to send to me by PayPal please send a note with the donation and I will return a Thank You letter with hope that you also will be blessed in a way that you might not find yourself as I am right now. God is working through me to work with you. Thank You and Life Is Good. Chris

Thursday, February 18, 2016

Sober Thursday 02/18/2016

I have bitched and complained for about a week now, and it is over. I have done what I could about getting my job secured and have passed my test, so now I should be offered my job. That is how it oges right? Well these days it is hard to concieve that a future employee should have to spill out so much personal information to get a low paying job. This is the American way now. You have to prove you have no criminal background , pass drug test, prove that your a USA citizen, prove that you are mentally stable. Does this sounf more communistic than anything?

Well after a few days of putting my whole life out there in cyber space for a job, I am now awaiting an answer to if and when I start. I will post of course when I get this phone call, in which I expect ina  day or so. I have spent about 100.00 of my own money in getting a low paying job. The expense were for Dr. leters and gas to and from each place I had to visit, and the time it toook for a physuical and one more Dr letter tsaying I am fit. Ridiculous is what I say. But these are the tims in America. The home of the free, once they know for sure you are a USA citizen. I am white and have Indian in my blood, and I am sober from illlegal drugs and alcohol that should be enough. However, the insurance companies and goverment want to make sure you are really allowed to work here.

I heard on the news about several thousand immigrant workers in the USA are getting refunds this year? How? I know they have families and they are illegal to work here so how do they get SOcial Security numbers to file taxes. There is something wrong with our system of course we all know this.

Well, staying sober through the last few months has not been hard but I have been bored. I have learned to keep a blog up so I can look back when Im 60 or so and say Hey I made it through this and that. That is what this blog is. It is an autobiography of my life and being sober through the easy and tough times. I am not going through as tough a time as most might be. If you decide to get sober just remeber that your problems will still be out there , it is how you handle yourslef during these problems is what will make you or break you. Keep the faith and GOd will come through , just not on your time..

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Got a Job - But!!!

Well I have passed a pre-employment background for a company in Midland Texas. However , now after taking a drug test that should be illegal to have to take. Meaning they were unsantiary where I went to and they found out that I possibly might have Diabetes. I have been checked and I am borderline Diabetic , but the dr. that did my physical wanted further information on my glucose level from my own Dr. So this puts me in a time situation with this company and also I thought it was really no ones business about being a Bi -Polar or Diabetic. However it seems like all information is to be released to this company I willl be working for. The Americans With Disability site says it is no ones business, but my own. So where do you draw the line at. You cannot tell a Dr. they are wrong, you could take them to court but I dont have the money , and it would be tied up in litigation for years.
We have no privacy , I have a clean background but now my health is being questioned. If iits not one thing it is another. I be damn I beeen sober almost 8 years and the companies you work for these days think they need all this information on your life, that is really none of thier business. It seems like the American with Disablitlies article is non-existent for some of us. I eveen had to fill out with my application if I thought I was Mentally stabel and not Bi-Polar or had some other impairment. None of us are perfect and this job is far from perfect. It is a low balling job but it pays well, with not good reviews. I guess I will have to play the game, but I am watering down my urine just like faking a drug test so I have no Glucose in my system if it is checked again. I need the work. I know my Dr will probably do a Glucose check and I am watching my foods and drinking a ton of water. I know how to fake a drug test and this is no different. I just got a call from this comapny wanting to know what is taking so long. Shit , this life we live in is a whirlwind..Chris

Monday, February 15, 2016

Sobriety and Boredom

When I first set out to do this blog. I did it for myself to see how I either grew with AA and being sober or whatever. It was not really set up to sell things to people that come to my blog and I really was not trying to make any money off of this. I have not made money on this site anyway, even though I get like 300 hits a month, so someone is curious about me. Why? I have no idea. Maybe it is friends out there, or maybe I am helping someone that I dont know. But let me be honest with you on this blog post.
I get bored and that is why I write so much on this blog at times. I get inspired to write so I don't get boredom form being sober. Yep, I have the poor me syndrome today and for the last few months. I can't seeem to find a job in Midland, Texas and I am stuck at home most of the time, or going to AA meetings. I do not suggest that I am doing whats right. Maybe I am missing something out there. I use to drink alone and now would be the right time to start drinking cause I have nothing in my life to gain. I am really down right now, but the econopmy is down where I live also.What I am saying is I go online to look for work to send resumes out and nothing happens 70 percent of the time. It gets me down. I want to be productive, so I guess that means flipping burgers at Mcdonalds casue they are about the only p[eople in this ton that is hiring.
I dont know what to do, but drinking is not an answer..I do know that much, but the boredom I am experincing is overwhelming to me at this point in my life. I have a little money left in my savings and I can borrow , but for how long do I have to wait Lord? This is truly a shame that I am healthy and ready to do something. I made a few mistakes and did not take a couple of jobs, cause I did not want to do them. Now I regret this and paying the price. My own fault, but in reality I have never been this long out of work. It bothers the hell out of me, and my self esteem is shot..I wake up early in the morning to nothing. I am alive but for what?Damn life is just not easy.Thats all I have to say today..Chris

Friday, February 12, 2016

Being Positive when Feeling Negative in Sobriety

Sometimes it is hard to be positive with so much negativity in this world. When you get sober, and start to see the light. The world can be a positive one or it can look awfully negative. That is where the steps really come into play , is how to accept the good with the bad. You might of lost your spouse since you sobered up and are going through court. It is a difficult time for most people getting sober. You sometimes have to find a new job and this ads stress to your already existing problem of staying sober. Do not get overwhelmed, and take  it slow and one step at a time. If you let all these things hit your head at once, problems could began to unfold. Talk to your sponsor to see how you can weed this and that out. Staying sober is still number one, if you can stay sober these other obstacles will come into place sooner or later with Gods help.


Take positive steps in solving these mysteries you could not solve when you were drinking. It is very important to let the courts know that you have sobered up and intend on staying this way. Tell the courts you go to AA and please go to AA, just in case they check up on you. In  my AA group there is always a bunch that have to have court ordered papers to hand in to thier probation officer, keep these up and be honest about these. These papers are a test from the court to see if you can stay sober through a program for alcoholics. Even if you cannot relate to an alcoholic and have papers from the court I suggest you keep these up to date as they are checked.

Keep a smile on your face cause you are sober today, and any problem that comes before you can be solved through God and this program. You just have to believe this. Myself I get caught up into negative thinking all the time, so even seasoned alcoholics that are sober must remember where they came from in order to keep a positive outlook on the day.Life is not easy , even sober. However it is tolerable and things can be chaged to make your life positivve if you want them this way. You are the only one besides God that knows how to change your situation. Pray about this and the answer will come.Chris

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Sobriety Even in The Hardest Times

Letly, I have been searching for that perfect job. I have a few money making platforms I am using right now. However, I need the Insurance and Benefits of a good company to work for.I have been unemployed, so to speak for about six months, and where I live in West Texas its is hard to find any job. The jobs that are left in the area , do not even pay you enough to pay bills or eat with. These are hard times for everyone. The cutbacks from the oil industry suprise me how many people in my town are still out driving around and making ends meet. There have been thousands of people who have left this town due to the non-drilling activity. There are apartments that a re cheap again, groceries are still high and Doctors are very high.

I guess what I am trying to say is even if I wanted to start drinking again , it would be foolish as most of my money would go to beer. I don't even know what a 6 pack cost but I am sure I could eat on this money for a few days. When you quit drinking you think of these normal things, on how you can stretch your money out. God knowa I am trying and he has not given up on me. He pushes me out of bed daily to go through the jobs and send out resumes  so I can further escalate my non- working condition. I pray everyday for something to come through. For every one resume I send out there are hundreds like me. Some with further education than I have and aftere talking to some of the managers hiring in the area, most people are wanting oil field type money for these jobs. This is not happening though and the hiring managers will not hire someone at 20..00 and hour when they know they can get someone to work for 9 or 10 and hour. How do you live on that kind of money without going bankrupt?

Welll , i hope i don't have to find this out. Right now I am staying sober and working the program on a daily basis, and trying to figure clues as to get around this town with the money I have.It is a game that is no fun. Moving may be the answer , but being at the age I am , may not provide an answer to my job situation. I wonder how many people are going through the job task I am. I am luckily , siingle and have a house that is paid for and , I have a sober life with money in the bank, just not that much. So I very well may be doing better than those out seeking employment than I think.

Oh well, this is a blog about how my life is progressing , and even with the low times as right now with employment, it could be worse. It makes a man feel less than a man when he is unemployed. Hopefully things are about to change. Chris

Saturday, February 6, 2016

Social Sobriety - Get a Hobby!!

There is nothing worse than sitting on your ass passing the time away hoping for something to heppen. Belive me, I have been doing this for a while and getting fat and out of shape. I do things, but they all involve no exercise. I found out today just cleaning out my garage that i was winded and sore and tired out really quickly. I decided I was not going to quit , so I finished a project that was long over due.
It is easy to sit and get on a pity potty , cause like I said I have been there and hopefully this new experience has taught me to at least walk my dog every day
, and go a little more further each day. It is good to get sore and lose weight. A hobby of mine is painting and photography and flying drones. I noticed I was getting winded from just being in my living room flying these little drones in the main living room and this is not good.
Staying sober and healthy go hand in hand, I know this might sound stupid but activity does make you feel better after you have done it. I feel 100 % better now and I am tired enough to rest on the couch. I feel no guilt and I feel revived just from doing an activity one time.
I am going to practice this everyday to see how I lose weight and if my mood improves. I have a feeling this will help maybe one or two of you also.. Have a great weekend..Chris

Friday, February 5, 2016

When you Sponsor a Crazy Person

I have had the luck of sponsoring a few men in my AA group and one stands out as just plain insane. My job as a sponsor is to help those in need of staying away from drinking and to help them with the steps. That is all. I don't try to get involved with their personal lives nor do I want to get involved with them in their personal lives.Help is what a sponsor does, but there is a point where you have to shut people up that are not even trying to work the AA program and text you every 5 minutes and they  talk about their life and work, and really I don't give a shit about the bullshit.Maybe I am being a little harsh but there are those that use sponsors as a means of a counselor and that I am not.
SO when you sponsor a crazy person that phones you all the time or text you about stufff that has no bearing on AA. You have to let them go. I have held on to this one person, and finally said I can't help you. He was driving me crazy with texting 20-30 text a day.I stopped answering them,a dn felt guilty until I finally put my foot down and said ,"Hey if you want help with the steps and AA, Call me and do not text me".

It is needed to be stern on occasions and you and i are only human. We are not guidance counselors, we are just people with a little bit of knowledge of how to stay sober. Do not use a cponsor for things that are ordinary day to day talking. Sure if you have a problem then use a cponsor, but we don't have all the answers. Ask them to get another sponsor to help. You can only do so much to help someone that is not even interested in practicing the 12 steps of AA. In fact you should stop if the conversation is not directly related to AA. Just my opinion on sponsoring certain people. Chris

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Uber gone in Midland, Texas- a Danger for Midlanders

As a Uber driver in Midland, Texas I can inform you that we kept quite a bit of drunks off the road in this county.On February 2, 2016 , Uber pulled out of Midland, Texas due to the way Midland City Council had tried to arrange an ordinance to fit Midland, Texas. This evidently did not work , and who is to blame? Seeing that Uber had established a agreement with most of the citizens of Midland County , I would have to say it was both the City of Midland City Council and Uber. Midland City Council wanted their way and Uber already had their way of running this service in many of the places of the world.It's a shame cause now their will be more DWI accidents and deaths due to not having Uber in town.

Why does the public drink themselves into oblivion? Well, partially there are a lot of drugs in this town and drinking is a pastime with a majority of locals.Yes , we have treatment centers in the area and they are packed.We have several AA groups and they are packed also with people that are court ordered and those whom want sobriety from their own experience of drinking too much.

Remember alcoholics have a disease and it is alcohol that is the drink that makes us want more. The more we drink the more satisfied we are.

Honestly Uber leaving , does not bother me. They kept cutting wages for drivers and I was getting sick and tired of the drunks I picked up nightly, and sometimes during the day. However it laid off about 100 drivers in a area where there is no work .People needed their Uber driving jobs and the goverment stepped in and made it impossible for Uber to operate under these conditions.What a shame, please be careful driving in this town, even more cautoius than before, because these people will still go out and get drunk but they have no alternative now for a sober driver to get them home.

Monday, February 1, 2016

Living Sober through The Rough Times

We all have times in our lives that are tough to get by. It could be a money situation that we may need, or added expenses that we did not plan on. There are a multitude of reasons to take another drink, we can think of these all the time if our head is not straight on. However , we know drinking will not solve our problems, as we have already learned this the hard way. Drinking just makes us feel sorry for ourselves, and makes others rude towards us. This is not acceptable nor is it a good idea to get out of place when your life is out of line.
What to do? Pray the third step prayer and go through the day and someone will realize that you are having a difficult time, if not , talk to an AA member about your situation and how its just eating at you and your sobriety. This always seems to help. Then think about the obsession and what it means to stay sober even through the rough of times. Prayer goes a long way but action has to take place also. So putting a plan of action and doing the unpleasant task that you may have to do, regardless of the outcome, it will usually be positive, when you think negative about the rough times you may be going through.

Believe me, I have had rough times and still going through them, day by day. I just try to not think about them and keep pushing onward , and forward thinking is good. Do not think about the past as it is gone, nor of the future, think of today what you can do to get thee negative feelings out of your system.Put a smile on your face this morning and go forward toward the day, you are alive an the only thing you crave is oxygen and there is plenty of this, thanks to God. So we have what we need , just maybe not what we want right now. But persistence will prevail if you work on this within yourself and with working with others. God Bless..