Chinese Surprise Gift to The USA, The Virus

I am going to start out by saying I do not blame American Chinese citizens that have a corupt way of life. North China always had a love to rule over anyone they can, well it looks like they have succeeded in wiping out the 144 countries that now have the virus. The USA is and will be hit hard with death. So what about drinking to that for about 6- 12 months of sitting at home and drinking and partying and collect checks that wont last a month for most Americans. Not a good idea but  I wonder who or how many alcoholics have lost their sobriety over this war. I am afraid that there will be a few that give in, I know I thought about it. Go to Colorado and buy me some legal weed and drive it back to Texas and if lucky not get caught and sit at home with a few cases of beer and my smoke and block out the news and listen to The Def tones 24hrs a day. Isolation breeds frustration as yes the thought came to mind but reality check I might get thrown in jail and that would really suck at a time like this. I have ten years of sobriety and I have this plan because of the virus.This blog I write for myself so I can look back, and see when I get older than the 56 yrs I am.

Maybe you have thought of similar ways to really fuck up your sober life over the virus. Good reason and I dont blame a single one for falling off the wagon.It can be scary to know that at the minimum the news says 100k to 200k on 3/31/2020 will die  in the USA. My god, the devil is playing games and god is seeing how people will react, in my opinion. He is judging us and our actions as God loves everyone but we get spanked and this time God used a belt and its going to really hurt a lot of women , children and men that did nothing but work hard and lived life as God wants it, not as how we want life.

Hard to swallow why a God like ours would let the world fall apart but there is a reason. I do not know this reason nor do you. My opinion is this is Gods way of telling the people that we are not living right, or should I say the sinners, you and I ask for forgiveness and then we do it again what we did wrong. The world is full of Christian humans but maybe not enough to control the situation?

All I can say is if you are sober you must believe in God, period, not some damn pole like they say in AA, as to pick someone more powerful than you. Well God and the Devil are more powerful than any of us, so who you going to get on your knees for? The devil fucked up my life and God brought me back to my senses. It took a while as the devil was busy and still is with me. I damn this devil that is killing innocent lives, God loves us, he is not punishing us for being human he knew when Adam And Eve we were to be his sinners and to ask for Gods help in need. However how many used the God phone and use it daily? Im addicted to the spirit of the lord and I may not live through this year 2020, and thats ok. God will make this decision, not any President, but Trump has done and is doing a job no one could do, give him credit. Sure he is an asshole but he is a leader.Hillary Clinton can you imagine her in this mess. Shit Im not poised to any political party but I base it on the person. I am glad that Bozo the clown Obama is not involved that pussy of a president.

We have our fearless leader, God. I think and practice praying for everyone in the world and pray for yourself. I dont know why AA says do not ask for selfish presents, why not if you are hurting.I pray for you who reads this crap I wrote but I tend to be a little pissed we have not Nuked N China over this, might as well do it now also. Have a healthy life and dare to come back for more from me. I love everything and eeryone in the world, the problem is they who do harm to people should pay for this or we all will pay for this. There is no tomorrow for sure and even now that is even stronger to say. Try God    Chris

Today Is A New Day and There May not Be a Next Day

We have all heard the saying, "live today as it was your last day". This is true in life as we really don't know what will happen tomorrow, or if we will live that long. I was hit in my car by a big pickup and shattered my life for just a few seconds, what happens when you are in shock of what just happened. The one thing about accidents is when they shock you, a thought in the back of my head is ok, am I alright? Am I dead? then all of a sudden you wake up, this takes only a few milliseconds after an accident. Then you realize that you are alive and now what is my next action to be. Reality comes into play and you think of what could have happened. Like when you use to drink too much, at times you might have done this with intentions of not waking up the next morning. Then when you inflict this type of drug or pain on your body you wake up hurting and feeling worse than ever. I am pretty sure we have all tried to make ourselves miserable but not on purpose usually. If I could only drink a case of beer and wake up feeling good and up early in the morning not thinking of how bad my head hurts and that nasty taste in my mouth from beer in the morning.

Life is unusual, we all test our limits or at least I have in most everything I do.I am sober almost 10 years and I have no desire to take one drink. I think that is a miracle from God as it was difficult to quit and also I stopped smoking cigs. So that is two habits that I stopped at a treatment center because I wanted to, and I pray about it daily and still read and go to AA meetings. I don't rely on anything but myself for not drinking. I do believe that AA is very important to go to, however, it can become old and addictive in itself. However, it is good for your soul when your tired and lonely, go to an AA meeting and get something good out of it. Usually, you will.

Living one day at a time is still difficult for me as I look toward the future. I do not think it is bad, to actually predict what I might do the next day if God lets me live for this day. We have to make plans but yes they do get altered, and sometimes a surprise will come about in a good way that we did not expect. So try to stay sober one day at a tie, go to AA when you need it, and pray to God for letting you live in the moment. Chris

Do you know God? Sobriety and Living

I am at a hotel room in Arlington, Texas and I have work to do here for 5 days. I really do not like going on trips where I am not home. I guess I have gotten older plus I don't drink so some of the other workers are out getting drunk as usual. I started to think about God and do I really know him. I assume I have a grasp on the spiritual outlet called God and the spirit but I seem to need him ore than ever at certain times for my sobriety and my sanity. I have nine years of no drinking and I don't think about drinking, but I do think and pray a lot more than ever. I seem to think I am unusual in that I have really no friends and a good job, but at my age, that is all I want. I want my family healthy and happy and when I am working I see they are very grateful for my sobriety because I never stayed with too many jobs before calling in sick from a night worth of beer. Now I sit in a hotel room all alone wondering what it would be like to be out drinking and then feeling like shit the next morning seems like a dreadful idea. My whole world would change and I cannot handle that, so I am writing to speak my mind. The Dallas Cowboys won today I think and that is wonderful cause they have not been that good, but do I really care, nope. Men are supposed to care about football, I like to play when I was younger but really have the slightest interest in Football now. I am in a good place just thought I would post on my blog, who knows maybe 5 nights in a row of blogging will keep my idle hands busy. Goodnight Chris

Sobriety and Being Alone

You are never alone. You might think so since there is no one in the house with you. But really, God is with you or your higher power is near you if you are sober right now. I thought about this since I am usually alone at night. However, I have a Labrador that I love and treat her like a human. plus the almighty spirit I call God, to whom sees my actions and keeps me from loneliness every single day. It takes a little bit of time to accept this. However, with myself and what I do for work, I know God is with me during the day and the night. He never runs away, he is in me. I'm not God but I believe the spiritual God I worship is inside me. That is how he can tell me when the oven is hot don't touch it with my hand. If I start thinking stupid drinking thoughts, he rids these almost immediately. I never thank him enough. I don't think a person could love his God as I do mine. You have to love yourself a little bit for God to come into your soul and speak to you. Maybe not words as much as actions from the spirit I pray to all the time. I am not ashamed of prayer or for whom I am praying for.

Yes, I pray for myself, just as long as it helps others. I pray for the world that believes in a higher power and for them to have what they desire. We all want to feel needed and loved. If you learn how to accept yourself for whom you are, the love shines inside out of your body. You turn into a good human to be around. Even if it's with your animal that loves you unconditionally, I believe they have a spirit that is a miracle from God that enables us to love animals. They are comforting and loving no matter how most people act. Ok, since this is my site I am going to plug my Website , I could use a sale or two. The prices are quite cheap, and free shipping. Ok,
I will stop at that, but please help a recovering alcoholic that is trying to spread the word of love with my prayers and my words. Have a nice day.

Saying Thank You for Sobriety

I get caught up in myself and I need to remember to say Thank You, to those who have to listen to my bullshit and even read my blog. This blog makes no money, and I never set out to make any money from it. This is just a way I can get matters off my chest and remember what I have done stupid and smart. I have a lot of problems in my sobriety but I am sober. That was my main goal, right. I still dabble in stuff I should keep my nose out of, but I am not perfect and I am interested in the health as Americans are of the age of CBD and Marijuana Legalization. Pretty darn confusing, and maybe it is meant to be this way. I am in my mid-50s and I knew that Marijuana would be legalized when I reached this age, I really did but it seems like our country is split on politics and now states are separate from the Federal government. Just crazy shit like this could make a person want to get loaded. However AA is still around and my feelings towards alcohol are yes, it is there, so fucking what. I do not participate in alcohol drinking and I have my reasons as I am sure you have yours. My life has been better without it, my social life still sucks but maybe that is just me.

I have not written in a while and I am going through another job change, and getting kind of old at that..lol However I am still able to walk and talk and my family loves me, which is what matters. I am sure if you are sober or even a drunk someone loves you very much, hell I love you and I don't even know you, but you're
on my blog so you must care about what is within these notes. So Thank You. Chris

Alcoholic ? Now How Can I be One if I Don't Drink Anymore

I have a problem with AA. How could I be an alcoholic if I freakin don't drink anymore? Good question I think and I am sure if you are a recovering or recovered alcoholic you had to ask this question to your self. Is it because we call ourselves alcoholics to impress others in AA. I would like to stand up and say "Hello I'm Chris and I am here to learn how to live life without drugs or alcohol, can you help me"?Maybe someone has said this in a meeting. I should because that is why I go to AA meetings and to learn how to live through the Big Book of AA is fine in the 1930s when it was written at least the initial book. I find a lot of biblical information on how I should live in this book, but does it need to be rewritten to the time we are now living in?

I listen to old timers say the same old shit day after day sometimes, and I can tell you what they are doing right now. They are at an AA meeting telling the same old shit again, sometimes three or four times a day at different clubs. I am not mad but AA to myself needs to deal with the present day, not back in the drinking day,cause for some of us, and only a few of us, do not have to drink today nor have even thought about it, but we have thought of what am I to do now that I don't party on a Friday or Saturday night, and I get back the same answers, go to an AA meeting.

I don't know about people in AA, they are strangers at meetings I do not attend regularly, How do you trust these newcomers coming in than going back out then coming back in and so forth. I never give out my address to a sponsee and rarely give my number to a stranger, because if they go back and get drunk, they might call me at 2AM in the morning and I go to bed at 9PM cause I have had it with the day and I get lots of sleep and wake up at 630AM almost every day. This is a habit that I got into just like not drinking or buying beer or pot. I have a habit of not looking at beer and not hanging around and body that smokes dope. I think that is the key to sobriety and it is hard for a guy to not want to go to the bars and have a drink, I can do it but just for so long, then I have to go cause these people are having too much fun and my thinking is or you poor bastard your going to hurt like I use to.I plan to be pretty old when I can't type anymore. God Bless and Have a Good Night. Chris
and wake up drinking like I use to do, .However, that may not be true it is what goes through my head. See, I think people that go to bars go to get fucked up, but I am wrong because I have seen a small percentage have a half beer and leave or keep sitting there talking with that half beer, drink that bitch is what I am thinking. Hurt like your supposes to. I know they are not me and I am glad I am not trying to be them, cause I mess up badly when I drink. Nine years sober this month I have and I have AA and the spirit of my God for this. Sure I have tried a few things that might cut through my sobriety but it was not alcohol, and or drugs. Remeber I write this as a journal of how I feel and not for your pleasure but for mine. Someday I will look back at all the stupid and not so stupid things I have written

July 4th,2017 A Day to Stay Sober

What better thing to do today then to stop drinking alcohol than the 4th of July, 2017? Yeah, I know it is celebration time, however, is there not a day that is celebration time? A person who is not alcoholic does not think this the day to get hammered, but a day to spend with the family and kids . An alcoholic by this time of day has already possibly had the first drink to make it through the morning shakes and jitters. The alcoholic cannot control his drinking because it is a disease like cancer. Until the alcoholic gets true help he will keep up his drinking no matter what you say, because he cannot stop on his own will. You are not to blame for the alcoholic's ways, his brain is wired differently and he just wants you to shut up about his habit and let him live his day, even though deep inside he would like to quit.

So what do you do when you have a loved one that drinks and does not stop drinking. One answer is a treatment center and yes they are free in most cities in the USA. They are not nice like the Betty Ford Clinics, but all treatment centers are the same, they get the alcoholic off the drink for at least a short period of time. The other option is to make the alcoholic leave and not come back, which is hard to do for any one's family but a necessity is to make sure that the alcoholic knows you will not put up with his drinking. If drunk he will complain and leave because he is tired of hearing you bitch about his drinking, but then as most drunks will do , they will call you back sober and tell you they have a plan for not drinking. Beware of this plan , and if does not involve some type of counseling or AA , do not let the alcoholic come home. We alcoholics are quite manipulative and know how to get what we need and want. Most alcoholics are very smart and intelligent working citizens, they are not the bums that you see underneath a bridge in a dark long coat. They will be this person if they do not quit and lose all and get locked up in prison or jail. I have met them all.

Sometimes jail really helps an alcoholic or drug abuser, I don't recommend this but I have seen it work in other cases. It is a drastic way to sober up , and the treatment center is not usually there to help with withdrawals. Many people get busted for DUI and DWI on this weekend, and other weekends as well. You see an alcoholic hass many holidays even though he would not call them this. Drinking socially is not drinking beer after beer for a 12 pack in a couple of hours. Your not drinking for the taste but for the effect it has on you and you enjoy this effect or addicted to the feel good effect.
Today is a great day to start drinking water or soda's and not pick up a beer for just today, then when work comes in the morning you might think of doing the same thing, and if you have a problem with not drinking on the next day call AA and discuss this with someone. You can do this and there is help 24 hours a day with so many of us recovering alcoholics with phones you can talk to. We have lived this life of lies and hurting our families, we know where you have been, don't feel ashamed as you will not surprise us that use to drink. Good Luck Today and have a Happy 4th of July this year 2017. Chris Hyer

Sober and What Becomes when We stay Sober

I have a lot on my plate lately, but it has been good and different. Lost my step father, however , I know he is with God. I am
not sad, just motivated to start my life on a new turn.I have been lookig for another job, as the one I have is not what I like to do. I have prayed about this daily and my prayers are coming true. I have had a few consultants call me on jobs that I like to do. Times in Midland are booming again with the oil field picking up and that brings in more business and retail shops, plus high prices.I will take advantage of the time I have and focus on the reality of being sober and alive. At times , I feel really lonely but then I get a glimpse of how lucky and fortunate I have in my life. I am thankful that I am not in a wheel chair , I am thankful I have some money, and food, plus a house that has musical instruments for me to pass the time, and hopefully get better.I have more than I deserve in material things, and yes most of it has been put o credit cards, so work has to continue.I like work and meeting new people, and I like doing certain types of work. Now I have a choice and that makes life a bit easier. However I am sober,and if not for AA and my program I could not feel this way. When a person gets off the beer or whatever, they have plenty of free time, at first . Then after a few years you realize this free time is just not there for drinking. I look back and made my free time available for smoking pot and drinking beer. I did not get much out of it except for misery in the end.

 This misery has stopped eight years ago, however it does get replaced by something called isolation time. This isolation time is not too good either, a little bit is ok. To rest and pray and relax is all good and healthy, but not all day long...lol...I think my age of 54 is starting to slip it's ugly head in, as I know what I want but at times what I want is not what others want . I do miss having a girl to love, I have met one recently in AA and she was a sweetheart , so I thought, then she shut me down like I did not exist, so beware of other alcoholics that you might like to date. We are still sick in a fashion, just not sick from doing the wrong things. God Bless Chris Hit THE FOLLOW BUTTON FOR MORE

Being Positive in a Negative Thought in Sobriety or Life Itself

Say stop in situations where you know you cannot think straight.

Sometimes when I am hungry or when I am lying in bed and are about to go to
sleep negative thoughts start buzzing around in my mind.

In the past they could do quite a bit of damage. Nowadays I have become good at
catching them quickly and to say to myself:

No, no, we are not going to think about this now.

I know that when I am hungry or sleepy then my mind sometimes tend to be
vulnerable to not thinking clearly and to negativity.

So I follow up my “no, no…” phrase and I say to myself that I will think this
situation or issue through when I know that my mind will work much better.

For example, after I have eaten something or in the morning after I have gotten
my hours of sleep.

I know from experience that when I revisit a situation with some level-headed
thinking then in 80% of the cases the issue is very small to nonexistent.

And if there is a real issue then my mind is prepared to deal with it in a much
better and more constructive way.

Say stop to getting lost in vague fears.

Another trap that I have fallen into many times that have spurred on
overthinking is that I have gotten lost in vague fears about a situation in my life.
And so my mind running wild has created disaster scenarios about what could
happen if I do something.

So I have learned to ask myself: honestly, what is the worst that could happen?

And when I have figured out what the worst that could happen actually is then I
can also spend a little time to think about what I can do if that often pretty
unlikely thing happens.

I have found that the worst that could realistically happen is usually something
that is not as scary as what my mind running wild with vague fear could produce. 

Finding clarity in this way usually only takes a few minutes and bit of energy and
it can save you a lot of time and suffering.

Big Spring, Texas AA Group Celebrates 70 years of Sobriety

What a day Saturday turned out to be. Big Spring, Texas is about 40 miles east of Midland, Texas and I went to celebrate their anniversary of 70 years for this group. There was a meeting at 1:00PM followed by a Al anon Speaker who was really good , then lunch from kitchens of alcoholics comprised of southern fried chicken and you name it the food was there. My uncle from Bedford Texas was the key speaker for AA and his wife Vera. I never had heard his story and it was good , he has over 37 years of sobriety and his wife about the same. Friends from Odessa and other cities across Texas gathered at this meeting for the celebration.

My father who drinks hard at times even came which blew my mind. He came with his brother Pat H. to this whole event which might mean he is interested. You never know who will show up at these gatherings. I was really proud of my father attending this celebration, for he might be one of us. He is the only one that would know, however. It was 90 degrees in Big Springs, Texas this winter day of Saturday the 12th of 2017 and that was a mind blower as well. The meeting drew approx. 100 people from all over Texas and lasted about five hours. I was exhausted afterwards and went back home. It was a day in history to see my father in a AA meeting on his own will. He recently lost his wife to Lupus after fighting this disease most of her life. My father is 80 years old but surely does not look the age. He still works and is active, but I am sure a little bit depressed from losing his wife.

I decided I better get the one love in my life some chocolates for her Valentines, that would be my mother. She has helped me in so many ways and support my sobriety with no end. I am very blessed to have both parents still living and healthy. Days like Saturday humble ones self like me. It makes you think about the good times and the not so good, maybe that was why I was drained. I don't usually go to these type conferences, I usually stick to the one hour meetings and leave. I see now why it is important to come to these gatherings, I had nothing else to do , plus I never heard my Uncles' story but I experienced  his drinking when I was young, and those thoughts were in my head. What a better man he is now. If you get a chance go to a conference like this one, it can be long and you do need to take breaks. Chris Hyer , One Day at a time.

God, Living, Death, and Sobriety

Recently my father lost his wife to a disease and even though we all knew her time had come, reality sets in after a while. My father has not changed, in fact he may be even more bitter about things in life. He is too hard to read. He is alcoholic and it is hard for me to understand when he is down because he is not drinking or if he is always negative like when I grew up. Anyway , the death has not really affected me, as I loved this lady but she was in great pain. I would rather die than live in pain. However I have mental pain and I sure have been praying for God to take my life over and make it tolerable. I refuse to drink over my insecurities, and I refuse to do anything stupid. I think this giving it to God stuff actually works, or it has with me.

I am a loner in the seance that I go to AA meetings to live life, then I try to stay occupied by my Uber driving while I wait and see about future opportunities come. I have hit the computer hard with Resumes and I am getting feedback, but it has been almost 5 months without a steady job. This bothers me and I even have stooped down to convenience stores cause they are always hiring, well no the case with me. It seems the easier the job , the harder it is for me to get hired, yet a computer position or IT position is quite virtually easier for me to get into. Maybe because of my background, I just don't know. I have had a few bites on a couple of jobs I am waiting to hear back from and have gotten off the couch to drive as this keeps my mind occupied and I make a little money .

I have to have help with my bills from my family and I know they are tired of this. I feel like all I am is a job seeking fool. I am not being picky now, as the time has been rolling on. However if I look back seven years ago , I would of just drank my problems away and that is the only difference with me at this point in my life is that I have stayed sober. I hold onto every penny I have and do not waste money . Sobriety is the key with God on my side, and I do believe he is on my side or I could not keep my head high, as the night falls I get restless and anxious about bedtime and the worying I do before I sleep. I try to giv that to God also and it works if I think about it. God is doing for me what I cannot do for myself, He is telling me I am worth a damn in this world, even though I get depressed at times and try to watch comedies at night that are easy to swallow and maybe make me laugh. Laughing is hard, and my relationship with my family is all about work and money. I just pray that soon all will be ok, and the job crisis will end and the borrowing of money will stop , so I can live life as I expect it to be lived. Have a good day for we not know what the next will bring, and this is so true. Chris Hyer

Christmas and The Sober Individual

Christmas 2016 is almost here on the calendar. I can feel the mood in the people on the streets and in the stores. People buying what will probably be a return, and people driving crazy all over town , trying to get where they want in as little time it takes. Yes, to me this is Christmas madness, but it happens every sober year I have been around. That would be eight years of sobriety, and suring these last eight years, Christmas has been dfferent for myself. I usually end up having lunch with my mother and her husband and then go home like another day.
They say in AA that we should not isolate ourselves, but I do tend to do this quite often. I don't know what to do at times of joy and Holidays, except for to be closer with my family. They are all spread out over the USA, and rarely do we ever get together , unless there is a funeral. Thank God, no funerals this year, nor have we had one in my family so I assuming that people will show up for funerals. Gone are the days of handing out Christmas presents to children, however good gestures in helping out mankind have taken place with me. I have had a few extra dollars and I have given them to those in AA whom are in a bad spot, why? because I was one of them at one point in my life. That , now is the true meaning of Christmas and giving a hand out is a secret affair, and to be honest it makes me feel no different. I know the person is grateful , and I don't kow where that money may go to, I just trust in God and my judgement that it will go to something useful for that individual.

I was raised in a normal house hold, where we all gathered for Christmas and open toys up from packages and my dad getting pissed cause a toy would have to be put together. I guess you could say that was fun. We waited for Santa Claus when we were little and now at age 53 we are Santa Claus helpers. However it is just another day to me, as all days are to myself. If I make too big of deal of everyday then I get nervous and agitated. I have learned how to sit and read a book when times are isolating and to be comfortable doing this activity. I always want to buy something but I don't act on it.

I have even thought about taking a vacation to Vegas this year, but I chicken out cause I dont want to go by myself, and spend alll my money.Being sober over Christmas is a slight difficulty but , it is not that I think about drinking, it is just the normal thing I use to do during the season with my old school mates and brother. However we use to get high a lot because we had so much time to spend , and now I don't go to bars so that time is isolating time or AA time. Well, Merry Christmas to all whom read this article, and keep sober during the holidays , if you can , and if you can't God bless You!! Chris Hyer

Christmas is Almost Here How Do you feel about this?

Sobriety is a wonderful feeling in the morning , waking up to no headaches, and no remorse for what you may have done the night before. Well, Christmas is upon us in a few weeks, and I beg of you not to let that interfere with your sobriety. It can be easy to slip into old habits of drinking and smoking dope. The reason is that you might be going home to family and friends that do these things and they might expect you to do them with you. Run as fast as you can from this place. Find a hotel room and find a meeting if this is a strong connection to you starting back your old ways. I have had to do this once, and I am glad, and my family understood, and I still had the best Christmas ever.

I am like a little boy when Christmas comes around, there is a spiritual feeling I get in my stomach, and the only bummer is on Christmas day , I usually don't have a tree  and there are no presents, as I am 53 and my family lives in so many cities, that I end up with myself going for Christmas Lunch with my mother and her husband. We do exchange gifts but it is just not the same. Then after we eat , I go home to an empty house. SO my Christmas last for about an hour and maybe two hours. That is called growing older I guess. I still look forward to this day and dress up for lunch and try to make something out of this day. There is no reason to drink about it, because imagine what that would do? Fro me it would ruin my life. So take it easy and enjoy what relatives you may have and give thanks to God that you are alive one more year to celebrate Jesus Christ's Birthday!! That in itself should be enough for Christmas. Chris Hyer

Changes in your Sober Thinking and Perception

When I was drinking my thinking was not right. I thought it was on the dot with what I was doing at the time. In reality , no one who is drinking is thinking right. Alcohol seems to distort what we think and , in myself, I thought all was ok and that I was this guy that could take on everything impossible.
Now that I am eight years sober, I realize that my drinking of water and cokes that I am no super power. I am just myself, but I do have images of a perception that good things will continue to happen if I stay sober. I know for over eight years that I wake up on time and make it to work and do the things I am supposed to do in real life. I have dreams of course of doing something else always. However, they are bigger and better things in my life. If only I stay sober one more day it will get better. Pretty simple self-persuasion I believe. Every day is not great but every day is unusual, in many ways.

I have productive days and it is not just work , it could be as simple as going to the post office when I don't really want to or grocery store . I know I need to get things done and they get done. When I was drinking I would think of these things but put them off till the next day or the next week. Just like my bills , I pay them on time now and have been for over eight years. I use to wait till I got a late notice before I made a payment. I had fees and it just made me madder when in my drinking years. I made a lot of little foolish mistakes,. It's funny cause I watch a lot of movies at night and most of them have someone drinking or smoking pot and they end up in bed with someone that they should not be with or missing work , that is the reality to just plain drinking. Drinking alcohol is really childish but a necessity for an alcoholic. Who are you today? Christopher Hyer

Non-Drunk Memorial Day and Socially Sober

It's been a while since I have written. I do this blog for my own journal anyway, so when I look back over the future, I can see how much I have grown or resisted growth. However you are welcome to review my blog post and make comments.

Its Sunday night in Midland, Texas and it is Memorial Day on Monday, in which we have so many Veterans that are young and old that have made the USA free with the work in our military. God bless them and hopefully we can bring home a few thousand more young people home with thier families. That is what life is about , is family living and not war. I think our political system seems to split this up especially during the election year. Let's bring our brothers and sisters home where they belong.

Staying sober today is no different than it was last week or eight years ago for me. I do stay sober for a reason. The main reason is I do not want to feel bad the next day. When drinking and smoking pot , at night usually , I was very happy and content I thought. However ,now that it has been 8 years of complete sobriety, it is just normal for me to be sober on any given day. That is a great obstacle I have overcome over the time of being sober, and I hope if you have a drinking problem you will realize that this can happen to you also. It takes a little bit of work on your part and a lot of spiritual work on God's part to stay sober, but once you have it, sobriety will stay with you as long as you will it to be.

I am not feeling like I am missing out on anything right now, I worked today and I have lots of hours in overtime, and this makes me happy. I have other problems besides worrying about drinking today , that the urge to have alcohol is not even a option. I will celebrate with the 12 step group at the PDAP building in Midland, Texas on Wed at 7:30 PM of this week. So if anyone is local , please say you saw my blog and I will be happy to know you.I have no idea of what I will say as my sobriety is due to so many things in my life. From AA Meetings to the spirit of god I pray to everyday to my family being happy I am alive and living without alcohol and pot. That should be enough, as some of the speaker meetings can go on and on. I will not talk about certain things in my life, but I am really an open book when I am at these meetings and I believe that most in my group know my circumstances.

Why do we talk about the past, I guess it is to remember where we came from and how the fight to keeping sober for so long is accomplished to those who cannot even think about being sober for a day. I know I was one of these people, and yet after several treatment centers and breaking so many hearts. I did stay sober this time for myself. It has paid off with love and material things that I have worked for. I live in a nice large house and have a loving puppy that loves me to pieces. I just hope that I can keep on staying sober for one day at a time like I have. That is all it really takes is AA Meetings and believing that you can make it one day at a time until the obsession goes away and it will. Well,thats about all I have to say, back to watching a movie and having a pizza. Goodnight. Christopher Hyer

Miracles and Sobriety On a Monday

It is Monday again and the miracles keep happening. I was called on Saturday and told that I had my job. There is paperwork to get through now and that will take a day or two. I need to start making money so I am happy. It has taken 6 months for anything like a full time job. However God has given me the talent to make money through Uber, Online , eBay and a multitude of resources to accomplish my goals avery day. I have had low times during the last 6 months and I have had good times. This is life, I believe people would call it. Living life sober and through the tough times is part of the test.

Please don't give up on whatever you are trying to accomplish, as I never have given up hope that something good would happen to me job wise. It can look dark at times but it is no reason to ruin yourself over these dark times. That is what God has taught me through these last 6 months of unemployment. He told me not to give up. I did not, even at times I had to reach out for help with money from my family and such. I felt guilty but they were more than willing to help me cause they knew I was trying to help myself. I had to battle a lot of fears in this conquest but a hundred fears and a bit of lonelyness will not get me down. I keep my head up high and my thoughts and prayers to God that what I have gone through might help someone else on this blog see that miracles do come through if you want them to. 

I had a hard time with being unemployed and it bothered me but just don't let it get you down and attend AA meetings when youc an during the day it helps. Chris

Got a Job - But!!!

Well I have passed a pre-employment background for a company in Midland Texas. However , now after taking a drug test that should be illegal to have to take. Meaning they were unsantiary where I went to and they found out that I possibly might have Diabetes. I have been checked and I am borderline Diabetic , but the dr. that did my physical wanted further information on my glucose level from my own Dr. So this puts me in a time situation with this company and also I thought it was really no ones business about being a Bi -Polar or Diabetic. However it seems like all information is to be released to this company I willl be working for. The Americans With Disability site says it is no ones business, but my own. So where do you draw the line at. You cannot tell a Dr. they are wrong, you could take them to court but I dont have the money , and it would be tied up in litigation for years.
We have no privacy , I have a clean background but now my health is being questioned. If iits not one thing it is another. I be damn I beeen sober almost 8 years and the companies you work for these days think they need all this information on your life, that is really none of thier business. It seems like the American with Disablitlies article is non-existent for some of us. I eveen had to fill out with my application if I thought I was Mentally stabel and not Bi-Polar or had some other impairment. None of us are perfect and this job is far from perfect. It is a low balling job but it pays well, with not good reviews. I guess I will have to play the game, but I am watering down my urine just like faking a drug test so I have no Glucose in my system if it is checked again. I need the work. I know my Dr will probably do a Glucose check and I am watching my foods and drinking a ton of water. I know how to fake a drug test and this is no different. I just got a call from this comapny wanting to know what is taking so long. Shit , this life we live in is a whirlwind..Chris

Sobriety Even in The Hardest Times

Letly, I have been searching for that perfect job. I have a few money making platforms I am using right now. However, I need the Insurance and Benefits of a good company to work for.I have been unemployed, so to speak for about six months, and where I live in West Texas its is hard to find any job. The jobs that are left in the area , do not even pay you enough to pay bills or eat with. These are hard times for everyone. The cutbacks from the oil industry suprise me how many people in my town are still out driving around and making ends meet. There have been thousands of people who have left this town due to the non-drilling activity. There are apartments that a re cheap again, groceries are still high and Doctors are very high.

I guess what I am trying to say is even if I wanted to start drinking again , it would be foolish as most of my money would go to beer. I don't even know what a 6 pack cost but I am sure I could eat on this money for a few days. When you quit drinking you think of these normal things, on how you can stretch your money out. God knowa I am trying and he has not given up on me. He pushes me out of bed daily to go through the jobs and send out resumes  so I can further escalate my non- working condition. I pray everyday for something to come through. For every one resume I send out there are hundreds like me. Some with further education than I have and aftere talking to some of the managers hiring in the area, most people are wanting oil field type money for these jobs. This is not happening though and the hiring managers will not hire someone at 20..00 and hour when they know they can get someone to work for 9 or 10 and hour. How do you live on that kind of money without going bankrupt?

Welll , i hope i don't have to find this out. Right now I am staying sober and working the program on a daily basis, and trying to figure clues as to get around this town with the money I have.It is a game that is no fun. Moving may be the answer , but being at the age I am , may not provide an answer to my job situation. I wonder how many people are going through the job task I am. I am luckily , siingle and have a house that is paid for and , I have a sober life with money in the bank, just not that much. So I very well may be doing better than those out seeking employment than I think.

Oh well, this is a blog about how my life is progressing , and even with the low times as right now with employment, it could be worse. It makes a man feel less than a man when he is unemployed. Hopefully things are about to change. Chris

Social Sobriety - Get a Hobby!!

There is nothing worse than sitting on your ass passing the time away hoping for something to heppen. Belive me, I have been doing this for a while and getting fat and out of shape. I do things, but they all involve no exercise. I found out today just cleaning out my garage that i was winded and sore and tired out really quickly. I decided I was not going to quit , so I finished a project that was long over due.
It is easy to sit and get on a pity potty , cause like I said I have been there and hopefully this new experience has taught me to at least walk my dog every day

, and go a little more further each day. It is good to get sore and lose weight. A hobby of mine is painting and photography and flying drones. I noticed I was getting winded from just being in my living room flying these little drones in the main living room and this is not good.
Staying sober and healthy go hand in hand, I know this might sound stupid but activity does make you feel better after you have done it. I feel 100 % better now and I am tired enough to rest on the couch. I feel no guilt and I feel revived just from doing an activity one time.
I am going to practice this everyday to see how I lose weight and if my mood improves. I have a feeling this will help maybe one or two of you also.. Have a great weekend..Chris

When you Sponsor a Crazy Person

I have had the luck of sponsoring a few men in my AA group and one stands out as just plain insane. My job as a sponsor is to help those in need of staying away from drinking and to help them with the steps. That is all. I don't try to get involved with their personal lives nor do I want to get involved with them in their personal lives.Help is what a sponsor does, but there is a point where you have to shut people up that are not even trying to work the AA program and text you every 5 minutes and they  talk about their life and work, and really I don't give a shit about the bullshit.Maybe I am being a little harsh but there are those that use sponsors as a means of a counselor and that I am not.
SO when you sponsor a crazy person that phones you all the time or text you about stufff that has no bearing on AA. You have to let them go. I have held on to this one person, and finally said I can't help you. He was driving me crazy with texting 20-30 text a day.I stopped answering them,a dn felt guilty until I finally put my foot down and said ,"Hey if you want help with the steps and AA, Call me and do not text me".

It is needed to be stern on occasions and you and i are only human. We are not guidance counselors, we are just people with a little bit of knowledge of how to stay sober. Do not use a cponsor for things that are ordinary day to day talking. Sure if you have a problem then use a cponsor, but we don't have all the answers. Ask them to get another sponsor to help. You can only do so much to help someone that is not even interested in practicing the 12 steps of AA. In fact you should stop if the conversation is not directly related to AA. Just my opinion on sponsoring certain people. Chris