I am an avid gambler an addicted gambler, there I have admitted it in front of millions of people. I am not proud of this activity, but it is the truth. I am also an alcoholic with nine years of sobriety. The problem I run into in life in addition to most everything that I find appealing. I am not aware of my problem until I hit a bottom of some sort, and with casinos online and offline, I have hit a bottom. Damn, another problem to add to my list, but do most people have problems of the sort? I am not sure but I know I have addiction problems with most everything that gives me a rush of adrenaline. I came upon some money at Christmas that was not expected and what didi do with it. I gambled 70 percent of it and lost and won, but in the end, I was broke. Feeling stupid and guilty of what I have done I expressed what has happened to a couple of people and they just looked at me like whats new Chris?
SO once addicted to drugs, alcohol, and whatever, I am marked for life by my family. I am very lonely in my life and I try not to be. Should I change where I live, change jobs, I have no friends except for AA and they Fuck up also like I do and laugh. I find no humor in being addicted to things that please me, in fact, I get very depressed and feel isolated. I pray to God for answers and I might not be listening. Do you have other addictions in your life besides alcohol? Let me know so I don't feel like the only one out here living this life. Please comment on this topic or others if you will. This page gets about 50 hits a day so I know people are reading my personal journal that I have decided to post in a blog for myself.
Living sober is one day at a time, however living life is many days at a time for me. I have to think of the future and my past, as the past never really goes away. It is smeared by my brain but too old friends and family,
my past is well alive. They are grateful that I don't drink today but it is all the other things in my world I have to deal with that get so damn confusing at times. Have a good New Year! Please comment. Chris
