Showing posts with label Big Book.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Big Book.. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Music and The Sober Musician

I am a musician and record my work in my home. I am fortunate enough to have almost every instrument I could need in order to play the music I like. My taste in music is mostly hardcore rock to mellow ballads. I am eight years sober and I remember when I stated playing
again after I got sober, and nothing came to my mind to play. Over the years my mind has opened up and I just play what I enjoy hearing and sometimes it actually sounds pretty decent. I am not a professional musician , however I have played in bands most of my life for fun and enjoyment. I prefer not to play in a band right now because I don't need to get wired up in a bar and start drinking and playing. It is tempting to do this but , my sobriety is not worth the headaches and pain of starting to drink for fun again. I would be back on the roller coaster of drinking every day. The big book of AA talks about the casual drinker and the thoughts of one day being able to drink like normal people, but I am far past normal.lol

I think it is good therapy to play music , even if you suck. The enjoyment of making a sound and enhancing this sound can bring a smile to your face. It does this for me, and even though I have to force myself at times to go into the recording studio at home and get the electric guitars out of their cases and hook them up and plug the computers up to perform and make adjustments to the sounds ,. It is a work in progress and a few of my friends really enjoy my tunes. When I play I go somewhere else in my head and I don't think much about anything but my sounds. So it is calming effect for a person to just set down and play these tunes and enjoy what he hears. I highly suggest you get an instrument you might like and learn to play. It is great for your health and mental well being. Have a great day Chris

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Accepting God Into Your Life Sober or Not

I know this is a strange heading I am writing about . However it is true that if we just acept Jesus into our lives , we will all go to heaven. Now some religions such as Mormons do not believe in this simple act, which is fine. I am not teaching religion on this blog, this blog is about saving lives through knowing a spirit greater than your self , named God. God and Jesus are the same. God is not man and Jesus is the spiritual advisory for God. If you are sober you have come to believe in a power greater than yourself, if your in AA, you know this spirit must be God or Jesus. Once you take the simple step and invite Jesus into your life, you will go to heaven. Period.

I don't know about you but when I die I want to go to heaven. I don't know what Hell is but I have a feeling I have visited Hell many times while I was in my addiction. Maybe you have felt this way also. It is enough to convince me that there is a loving God who can take away my sins and forgive me and help me to stay sober if I just ask for this act. Simple as it may sound , we find all the wrong answers to sobriety, maybe we think we can handle one more drink, maybe just one more pill. In some instances this may be true, but rare for us who have been diagnosed as alcoholic, and the AA book is a spiritual book with a chapter for Agnostics , so maybe some relief for those who have a hard time believing in a higher power such as God can come to rest with their alternative solution. I am here to say that God has blessed me with sobriety because I ask for it. I have not had a alcoholic drink in over 7 years which does not mean one thing except that the obsession to drink was taken away from a power greater than myself. That power is known to me as the spirit of God.

I hope who reads this understated the power of God in the steps of AA are not just writings on the wall or in the Big Book, we do have to take action and for go our old ways and develop new ways of living in the world as we are living. Understanding a God can be confusing with all the hate in the world, but I do know i sin every single day, and I ask for forgiveness in the day or evening for my sins. I have had miracles that have come true and spiritual experiences that would blow your mind. Is staying sober worth it? Yes, it is when I have so much going for me and sometimes I take this for granted. I forget God when things are going good and times, and when they are going bad I pray to God to make a wrong decision I have made into a right one to pleasure God.

To be honest I probably pray more now than ever. Maybe that is why when I am weak I do not think about alcohol, when I am strong and happy , I do not think about alcohol. There has to be a power that is informing me in some manner that drinking is not my answer. This is just a small part of living is the drinking. But it is big enough to kill a person who goes out and re-tries drinking . I have lost three people who are my age this month from drinking or drugs. They tried AA and they tried the program, but how much of a relationship did they have with their God? Happy Sunday. Chris Hyer

Friday, October 21, 2016

Changes In Life with Sobriety

My life keeps foinf every day. Sometimes the changes are good and other times the changes are not that god. The 2 Steps of AA help me deal with change. I give this up to God. I have no other choice. I do my work in the program and he does his. If we really believe in God then changes work out pretty good. However they may not work out like we want them . I recently have been offered a couple of jobs then they were taken back. I never have experienced that type of change. I drive for Uber at times to make extra money and I like meeting other people who may not be as fortunate as I am in my life. It matters no how much money one has , but their character, is what is interesting. Uber is a humbling experience in Midland as most wealthy Oil and Gas business men use the service cause it is cheap for them and reliable. I have written a couple of children's books and put them on Amazon , and they are going nowhere, but the effort I put into these were not sufficient. Therefor you get what you put out.

I recently found out I had Diabetes and I have changed my lifestyle again. I read up on what foods I need to eat and went and bought these, and they are not so bad. I want to live, and I want to be healthy, so I do what I can to progress in my life. It took me a while to get my insurance to acept my medication for Diabetes which is ridiculous. I needed prior authorization before the Insurance would give me a break on this medication. It took me 2 weeks of fighting the Dr office, Pharmacy and Blue Cross before I got the price of a medication from 1300.00 to 10.00 but I did get it taken care of. God gives us tools to work with and when I mean fight, I don't mean that I was angry, I just had to follow a outline of what the Insurance was wanting, but it became a full time job. Ridiculous as it was , it saved me and my life is back to normal. Have a good day and please comment if you like and I will post thee. Have a Good Day! Chris Hyer

Thursday, September 15, 2016

Why is AA so Important to Keep Sobriety

AA is a group of recovered or recovering alcoholics that meet usually on a daily basis or during the week at specific times. What we do in AA is talk about how to better our lives with the tools that we are given in AA. One tool is the use of the 12 Step Program which if followed in order can help one beat the use of alcohol and keep one sober for many months, and years. It is not a cult and is not a religious group. It is people who are looking for answers to thier questions that are usually found in th Big Book of AA that is a read for the purpose of staying sober and breaking down the 12 Step Program into a more understandable way for us former alcoholics.

Why is it a necessity to go to these groups? You make friends with some of these people in AA that may have drank for the same reasons you did. We share our experiences in these rooms and remember how insignificant they really were compared to our new life of sobriety.We change while we attend these meetings into citizens that people want to be around and do business with. It could be called a new awakening of of lives and even though most of us don't really see it , it is our families that usually see our positive changes and they tend to like the new face we have put on since going to these meetings and working the program steps. It's a spiritual congregation of love and understanding that binds most of these groups together.

There are a few that go back ut and drink some more and end up dead. These are terrible results from not staying with the program. Somehow , somewhere the program did not adhere to these people and since I have been going to AA , I do know if a few that have started drinking and ended up dead within a few days to a month. This is serious to keep attending or staying in touch with a Sponsor to keeping yourself sober and happy. Yes, it is not an easy program at times we all get tempted, but we who go to these meetings realize that it is up to us to stay sober and not someone else. You cannot blame another for your drinking addiction. Hopefully this provides a little bit of insight into what AA is and what it is not. Have a nice day.God Bless Chris Hyer

Sunday, August 21, 2016

The Big Book and Sobriety

I don't make it a habit to read the Big Book of AA. I do read it in the mornings or evenings where I get bored. I usually see myself in some fashion or another in this book. This could be a present or past reflection on whom I have become as a sober individual. When reading the Big Book of AA , I find passages that are out of date. The meaning of some of the words can be quite confusing to me, so I look some of them up in a dictionary, and the word makes perfect sense to the context in which it is written. I find that reading the pages in the back of the book can be enlightening to myself, as when I go to AA meetings these back chapters are ignored.Most of the AA meetings are focused on the 12 steps of the book in the first 100 or so pages. This is good information and if lived with a spiritual connection do work for the alcoholic who is trying to understand what this whole book and program is about.

I also read the Bible on a daily basis and Rick Warren a Pastor out of California has a book called "The Spirit Driven Life", I believe that is the name of it. This book helps me to understand what God wants for me out of my relationship with him. I was hesitant to read a Pastor book , because of the church , but he has made the words make good sense to me in what my program is all about and that is a spiritual journey into God's life and how to please my God .

Years ago I could not care a less what these two books have to say. In sobriety, you need to believe in a spiritual life bigger than yourself  which can help you get over the first step in AA. How you do this can be confusing but in reality it just means you will give up drinking and or using for a power greater than yourself , the obsession will leave once you believe in this attitude. This sometimes will happen fast and other times it will be slow, I think it is how you believe in a power greater than you as to how fast this approach will transform your brain.The disease of alcoholics is really unfounded, it is a mental instability that causes most of us to drink until we pass out or otherwise get to the point in which we are comfortably numb. To stay sober  means that we will neglect alcohol and drugs and move on through the day and be as normal people do such as work and help others help themselves.

Helping others is key to living a spiritual life, but we first must focus on helping yourself get through the pain of so many years of self-abuse. This takes time and to each individual, this time also can be short to long term. You get what you put into your mind from reading and going to AA meetings and the people that you let yourself be around. I am amazed at the sober ones that have a boyfriend or girlfriend that still drinks and they are trying to stay in this sick relationship. Drinking is fine for those who do not abuse it. So I am not talking about the casual drinker , but the alcoholic who has to live with one whom is alcoholic , this must be a hard situation to cope with. I would have to get away from this person , or I could not of stayed sober for very long.

Well, it is Sunday 8/21/2016 amd I am still employed and paying bills, I go to the grocery store and run errands and do my paper work for work. I am a functioning recovered alcoholic. In the past I put off these things or they would not get done any of them. I seee my progression through these pages in my blog. I also see it and hear it from people in my AA program that say I have come a long way. That is pleasing but in reality I have a little more than 8 years of sobriety with about 20-30 years of drinking, and I am very glad that I do not crave anything like alcohol to make it through the day. I get bored and that just means I need to get busy. I call this idle hands syndrome. You have to be careful and not isolate yourself from the world and I know this at it's best. Have a great day and to feel God is to get knowledge about the spirit of God and I challenge you and myself to know more each day of our creator , so you can live one day at a time and live a whole new outlook on life. God Bles Christopher Hyer

Sunday, July 31, 2016

Social Sobriety- Who I am and Will Become

This blog is for me as it is a journal through my life as a sober living man in Midland, Texas. I am 53 years old and grew up in Midland , Texas since age 8 . I have moved to several different cities around the country since then by myself, and have lived an adventurous and confusing life. This is not to say I am any different than most people my age as most will have moved at one point in thier lives and most will not drink themselves to complete oblivion like I use to . I sobered up many times since I was 18 years old but it was not until I was 45 did sobriety and treatment actually mean much to me. It took me getting so sick that I could barely walk, and talk. I started my sobriety in Kerrville , Texas at La Hacienda Treatment Center, One of the best programs in the USA. However It was not my first Rodeo , so to speak it has been my last . I have over eight years of continuous sobriety and I am grateful to AA and to God whom I talk to on a daily basis. He is my director for the day and the one I go to for problems and answers each and every morning and during the waking day. I also speak with Gos in the evening when I retire and ask for his blessings for many people including myself to make it through the night to face another day. This is how I live, I work a job and make my money and pay my bills on time. This is not how Chris use to be. I have come a long way to this point in my life and I am not looking to give up any time soon. In fact, I do not have another drunk left in me, I will surely die if I take another drink.

Christopher Hyer July 31 2016
I have a son who is 23 and loves me very much. I have a mother and a father that are getting up in age and soon God will throw more curve balls. I will hopefully have the knowledge to deal with whatever passes my way as he has been with me this last eight years by my side and many miracles have happened in my life. I have lived for a reason that in un- be known to myself. I have lived many different personalities in my life. The best one is the sober Chris, you ar reading right now. God bless you and have a good day. Christopher Hyer

Saturday, July 30, 2016

Sober up Today and Live for the Future

It's never too late to sober up from drugs or alcohol. If you are still breathing and I assume you are then you have the chance of being sober for today. If taken one step or moment at a time, you can be  free of alcohol and drug abuse if you really want to . You have to take this action, however, and one of the ways is to not buy the drug at all. Then the second thing you will have to do is tell your old friends that you have quit, like you might have told them a hundred times, but if honestly, you want the power of sobriety in your life. The friends will not longer be friends, cause they probably still drink or they are not the new crowd you want to be around anymore.

Yes, at times, changing your surroundings and people that you love is a necessity to keep sober. Stop blaming others for what you put in your stomach, cause it is a personal thing . You decided to inject alcohol and or drugs into your system, not anyone else. Like I have heard before when I was a baby I was not born with a beer in my hand. So step back and take the day off from those who want you to join them in an hour or so of alcoholic drinks, that is really all it takes. You might go through a little withdrawal and if it gets bad enough , go to the hospital and get help. That is step 1 of AA is admitting you have a problem and believe a power ( God, a Group of People, Whatever ) a power greater than yourself. I prefer to use God as he was easy to talk to and inside each and every one of us. There are those who do not believe in God and have a hard time with this belief, I suggest you get a AA Big Book from an AA group for free and read the first 48 pages. If by the end of this study you do not see yourself, then you may not have a problem with drinking or drugs.

I can't tell you what to do, but I can make suggestions, that have worked for me. You can go ahead and drink until you are so sick that you need a hopital to get help at. You could lose everything including your job and your self-respect then get help. I have done all of these and I still kept up my drinking. It took me wanting and I mean really wanting to quit something I truly liked.

Quit drinking for yourself is most important, or you will not stay sober. Some of us do not even have to go to AA to stay sober, I did not go for the first two years, but I wanted to be around others that were doing what I was doing and that was not drinking. I wondered what the hell these people did when they did not drink, and so I started going to AA and have made a bunch of new friends , and they are true friends that I can count on. It is a miracle and many miracles do happen when you stop drining and start living. It is not easy , at all, but after a while the obsession to even take the first drink goes away if you follow the program. Good luck and God Bless. Christopher Hyer

Sunday, April 17, 2016

2016 Sober Birthday Today

I turned 53 today on April 17th ,1963 and I tried to put together a trip , but just made a mess out of it. I am happy to be sober today and quite tired as I ended up going to Ruidoso, New Mexico on Saturday to celebrate my birthday by myself. I also played at the casino on my trip and did not win a thing. I went through ton of money and nothing hit on the one armed bandits. I usually do pretty good, but I have come to the conclusion that my hard earned money was not worth losing to a machine in a mattter of minutes. I had booked a hotel room as Ruidoso is about a 5-hour drive from Midland, Texas. When I was finished losing all my money, I checked in and then laid down for a moment, and checked out. I drove all the way back last night. Foolish as it was, because I was tired, I wanted to be home on Sunday. Addiction is always with the recovered alcoholic. whether it is sex addiction or gambling addiction , we have that personality that over comes us in some things we do. I can't seem to do things in moderation. This has been a ongoing problem since I have been sober.

Money problems have plagued me. It is no different than the alcoholic who has a drinking addiction, and if I don't stop gambling then I will have another problem as I already have this issue. I am blessed in that I am not completely broke from my escapade, but I hit myself hard and my credit cards are getting maxed out. I really want what I want when I want it. Obsessive Compulsive disorder to an extent. I am not sad , however, cause thing swill work out with the help of God and a little more control over my spending habits. It is simple just do not spend on stuff I cannot afford. The alcoholic who has to have everything , is a crazy person. I am a little crazy in this aspect.

I met a woman online from years back from High School and I was meaning to go visit her in Bryan < Texas. Decisions on not meeting her were maybe not sound. I thought after talking to her that she drank every night. She seemed quite drunk every time I spoke to her, so I decided not to go and see her because I did not want to deal with her issues. However, her issues may be unfounded, and maybe she was just tired, I don't or should not question a person if they are a drunk until I have met them. I could of been wrong, and I made up the excuse not to come and see her. I hope I don't live to regret this decision.I am lonely for sex, and love and a relationship, could she be the one? I don't really know yet. Life is very confusing when you know someone but from a long time ago.

Well life goes on today, and one more day for God to direct me in the right direction. I paused this part of the blog to run a few errands, and to go see my mother , and it was good. Sobriety has it's advantages and there a lot of people that would dis agree with me, and a few that would agree with me. When you run your life God driven like I have or have tried, the perspective on your future is good and relations with people are better than when I drank. Ask your self, would you be better off sober socially or not? Would it make a change in you and would it be positive. It has been for me, even though I question sobriety at points in my life, am I missing out on drining parties and going out to the bars? I am not going to test this theory out. God Bless

Monday, April 4, 2016

Its Been s Sober time lately

It is April of 2016, and I have had a great new month witha new position in life, and my sobriety is well in tact with myself. I had planned a trip[ on my birthday which is on April the 17th to Las Vegas, but I did not feel right going by myself, so I lost a few hundred on this trip. You sometimes have to lose a little to gain self-confidence in why you are sober. I did some soul searching and I decided that Vegas was not right for me in the long run. I love to gamble but the drinking that goes on there and being by myself did not settle with em right now. So I have canceled the trip and I am heading to the mountains of New Mexico , and staying at a lodge where it is beautiful. I plan to take my photography equipment and take some pretty shots of the area, with the weather being so warm in Texas, and cooler in New Mexico.

I have to slow down when things start going in a positive direction , because I have the disease of alcoholism. I know that sounds like a cop out but I have lived sober for eight years in a row now on May of this year. I will do nothing that will provoke my sober state of mind. God has seen me through some tough times and I feel he test us at times to see what we will do next.

My job is not stressful, which is what I needed, it does require me to work weekends at times and I have to accept this , however I am single and I have nothing else to do but watch TV and I make overtime. That is why I have not written in so long. I have been pulling 60 hour weeks and to me that is a lot of driving with work and trouble shooting. I wish all who are struggling with drugs or alcohol that they can see that you can have a good and fullfilling life but you do have to take action and not put it off. You have to go to meetings of AA and you have to believe in God the spirit. If not you may be doomed. I know for me I have to do these things , and practice these steps in all I do in life to manage who I am and whom I will turn out to be in my older years. I will be 53 this month. I grew a beard so I would fit in with work and fellow employees, however no one really enticed me to do this, It is just different for me, and I like change to an extent. So please listen here, God will make your dreams come true. I am a witness to this, but you can shoot yourself down. Try to stay positive and stop drinking or stay sober and enjoy the world for what it is , and not for what it is not..Have a Blessed Day ...Christopher 4.4.2016

Friday, March 18, 2016

The Sober Life Can Be Great!

I have been busy with my new position at work and have not had time to write. I have been getting overtime and I have to tell you it's nice to get, but it tires me out. Therefor , I have neglectrd to write in my blog. I have had many good things happen to me.

A member of my family had offered a loan to me to get myself out of debt. I could not believe it, I did not have to ask or anything. This person knew I was underneath a lot of debt from credit cards and it was taking forever to get them out of debt. Well a check showed up with more than enough to pay all my debt off and this person just wants the bare minimium  monthly to pay back over 4 years. What a deal staying sober others see you try and they give you miracles as this was. This is how my last sight years have been while sober. Miracles from God and my family and others whom I just knew from AA. This is a program of action though, cause I was told in the letter that followed the check " Chris because you have been an outstanding , sober , human being is why I am bailing you out of this mess. If you were drinking I would not of helped you in this manner." The words were not exact but what a deal in life. These miracles can happen to anyone out there who truly tries , and I have to admit I have tried hard lately to be a good person and a good citizen.

Wow, my life has really changed again and there will be the ups and downs but I would have to say cause I am sober today I have a job and a family that loves me. God Bless.

Saturday, March 12, 2016

Sobriety and Enjoying it!!!

When you are sober you can stuill have fun. One of my hobbies is flying these quadcopters or Drones. They are a blast even for a man of 52 years old. There is something really fun about flying these Drones, maybe its a revert back into childhood, except that they are expensive toys. There are little ones that will fly just as goodd as the bigger expensive ones. They take your mind into another dimension. You just enjoy flying up and down without crashing and you are in control. Of course the wind plays a factor in which way the Drone will fly at times, It is a challenge to get it to video correctly and to fly stable when using video. I highly suggest you buy a few of these, Yes more than one, and first see if you enjoy it, then move on to better made Drones like  Blade model. These higher dollar Drones will not break so easily and they willl set you back about 200.00 but you will enjoy the fun.
God grant me the serentity to accept the changes. I have been going through a lot of changes in my job and my sobriety and they have been good. I am making good money now, and its only been a 2 weeks on my new job. There are days when getting out of bed is hard but worth it once I know when I get into my work vehcle that my hourse start to accumulate. Its a hard job but it is also an easy job at the same time. I guess all jobs are like this once I look back. Most of my co-workers know I am alcoholic cause I tell them. I am not ashamed of this, just want them to know I can't drink, and they seem to respect for this. Have a good day Im rampling..Chris

Monday, February 29, 2016

Miracles and Sobriety On a Monday

It is Monday again and the miracles keep happening. I was called on Saturday and told that I had my job. There is paperwork to get through now and that will take a day or two. I need to start making money so I am happy. It has taken 6 months for anything like a full time job. However God has given me the talent to make money through Uber, Online , eBay and a multitude of resources to accomplish my goals avery day. I have had low times during the last 6 months and I have had good times. This is life, I believe people would call it. Living life sober and through the tough times is part of the test.


Please don't give up on whatever you are trying to accomplish, as I never have given up hope that something good would happen to me job wise. It can look dark at times but it is no reason to ruin yourself over these dark times. That is what God has taught me through these last 6 months of unemployment. He told me not to give up. I did not, even at times I had to reach out for help with money from my family and such. I felt guilty but they were more than willing to help me cause they knew I was trying to help myself. I had to battle a lot of fears in this conquest but a hundred fears and a bit of lonelyness will not get me down. I keep my head up high and my thoughts and prayers to God that what I have gone through might help someone else on this blog see that miracles do come through if you want them to. 


I had a hard time with being unemployed and it bothered me but just don't let it get you down and attend AA meetings when youc an during the day it helps. Chris

Thursday, February 25, 2016

Sobriety and Waiting

Have you ever caught yourself witing for things to happen, like a phone call. An important date or a call from an employer. The waiting is drastic on a person, whom has not much in patience. As a former drinker, I never had any patience and I have had to learn patience from my sobriety and learn to occupy my time with other things while waiting for that call or person.
I paint sometimes and that is a good time killer and I like to fly drones, that is fun but waiting is still something I need to be working on. The awakening of being sober on a daily basis is a blessing from God. It is nice to wake up in the morning and not have a hangover or worry about blacking out from the night before. A plus for being sober, and if a hard drinker not having to wake up and take that drink means you really have come a long way.
Sobriety brings along with it things that are normal to most people. Those whom I talk about do not have a drinking problem. I watch TV and see all the drinking the actors are doing in a movie and makes me wonder if they are drinking for real or just drinking lemonade. I tend to think they are really drinking alcohol, and what does it matter. I would say I get a little bit thirsty when I see these movies but it last for just a few seconds, then my mind reflects back to myself and my drinking and sobering up. I am very grateful I do not drink , do I miss it. Yes and no . I think you know what I mean, I miss the taste at times, but I don't miss what a fool I made of myself when drinking. I was very lonely drinker. ANyway have a good day, mine is on an even keel right now. God Bless.

Sunday, February 21, 2016

Sobriety and Confusion about Life

Lately , if you have read my post on this blog, you have noticed I have been confused about what to do with my life. I have been sober for almost eight years and going through a battle over what to do with my lifestyle and work. I am a very isolated person, and just like my drinking days , I was isolated back then as well. I never really ventured out to the bar scene in my drinking years. I was always drinking at homw trying to make money and friends over the Internet with Photography I had taken during the day , to making music , and I have a large selection of music I have produced on Soundlcoud.com I am very talented in music and other hobbies of interest. I was always trying to cash in on my hobbies and some times i did with my art work and sometime I did not.
I was heading to Austin this weekend for a possible new start but I can't swing the financial situation I am in right now to move to another city.

Confusion while sober is one of the problems I continue to have. I want this and that and my direction is scattered at times in which way to go. My head is on straight but my soul desires other things. I am not in a relationship nor have I been in over 20 years. This may be a problem, I need a woman around me to keep me comfortable and to have company. Maybe I am running from myself agian by choosing to leave where I have a house and no job right now. The job will come sooner or later. I have been working at puttting out Resumes and had a few interviews m, so surekly God will provide me with what I need. God has always been there for me, even in the rough of times and I am in those times now.

I guess praying for the confusion to stop and help me settle down and be proud of what I have . Being sober isnot all that is required to staying productive and living life. It is a good start and things can only get better not worse. I have to remeber that I have been through some hell back in my drinking days and I am having to pay for the lack of education and work experience because of what I have done in my drinking days. I have learned a lot from people in my last eight years of sbriety and one important item is just staying sober and relying upon God to help me out with my living conditions. I live very well and I am not looking at going homeless or anything drastic like that and years back I had been homeless and I very well know how hard it is to get a job from being homeless. I am blessed that God has held on to me and made me powerful to understand that it is not me that is causing the non-working consition I am in. It is the times in the county I live in . Oil prices are very low and it is hurting the economy in Midlnad , Texas and therfore the work is just not there.

Life can only get better if I leave it up to God to help me find my direction. Confusion and sobriety can go hand in hand but it does not have to. I think for today I will focus on my music and play for God and on Monday , the new day will be better than the the last day. Chris

Friday, February 19, 2016

Social Sobriety Donations

I never thought I would get so low on my finances that I would ask for donations for this blog. The point is I have been unemployed for a while now , and if you find this material to be of substantial value to you, could you please make a donation to PayPal.com The email address associated with my account is chyervalue63@gmail.com. Anything would be appreciated and I will personally send a letter to each and every one of you who make a donation towards this blog and my life stance at it is. I have hit a bottom with income and the jobs I have lined up have not responded as of yet, so therefore my bank account is so low that I cannot grocery shop at this time. I am reaching out and praying to God that the people that visit this site will make a donation towards me and in the name of God as a good gesture of your fortune versus the predicament I am facing at this time.
I never thought it would get this bad for myself and my family. I have only this blog to reach out to other people for help that I do not know , but you know me, as I have been writing since 2011 I believe.
I will somehow pay you back in a way that may be a prayer for you or your money back in future time.This is a reach for hope that I have helped someone stay off drugs or alcohol with this blog and if I have please pay it forward to a person who is in need.I know nothing about oil and gas business and they are not even hiring right now, so I beg of you to give what you can so I may continue to bring you the words on this blog.
I am very aware that the entire country needs money in order to survive and I am just one person who is sober and living by the 12 steps of recovery asking for help. Maybe I am wrong in asking but too much time has passed and the good lord has asked me to reach out to my readers for help.
If you have extra to send to me by PayPal please send a note with the donation and I will return a Thank You letter with hope that you also will be blessed in a way that you might not find yourself as I am right now. God is working through me to work with you. Thank You and Life Is Good. Chris

Thursday, February 18, 2016

Sober Thursday 02/18/2016

I have bitched and complained for about a week now, and it is over. I have done what I could about getting my job secured and have passed my test, so now I should be offered my job. That is how it oges right? Well these days it is hard to concieve that a future employee should have to spill out so much personal information to get a low paying job. This is the American way now. You have to prove you have no criminal background , pass drug test, prove that your a USA citizen, prove that you are mentally stable. Does this sounf more communistic than anything?

Well after a few days of putting my whole life out there in cyber space for a job, I am now awaiting an answer to if and when I start. I will post of course when I get this phone call, in which I expect ina  day or so. I have spent about 100.00 of my own money in getting a low paying job. The expense were for Dr. leters and gas to and from each place I had to visit, and the time it toook for a physuical and one more Dr letter tsaying I am fit. Ridiculous is what I say. But these are the tims in America. The home of the free, once they know for sure you are a USA citizen. I am white and have Indian in my blood, and I am sober from illlegal drugs and alcohol that should be enough. However, the insurance companies and goverment want to make sure you are really allowed to work here.

I heard on the news about several thousand immigrant workers in the USA are getting refunds this year? How? I know they have families and they are illegal to work here so how do they get SOcial Security numbers to file taxes. There is something wrong with our system of course we all know this.

Well, staying sober through the last few months has not been hard but I have been bored. I have learned to keep a blog up so I can look back when Im 60 or so and say Hey I made it through this and that. That is what this blog is. It is an autobiography of my life and being sober through the easy and tough times. I am not going through as tough a time as most might be. If you decide to get sober just remeber that your problems will still be out there , it is how you handle yourslef during these problems is what will make you or break you. Keep the faith and GOd will come through , just not on your time..

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Got a Job - But!!!

Well I have passed a pre-employment background for a company in Midland Texas. However , now after taking a drug test that should be illegal to have to take. Meaning they were unsantiary where I went to and they found out that I possibly might have Diabetes. I have been checked and I am borderline Diabetic , but the dr. that did my physical wanted further information on my glucose level from my own Dr. So this puts me in a time situation with this company and also I thought it was really no ones business about being a Bi -Polar or Diabetic. However it seems like all information is to be released to this company I willl be working for. The Americans With Disability site says it is no ones business, but my own. So where do you draw the line at. You cannot tell a Dr. they are wrong, you could take them to court but I dont have the money , and it would be tied up in litigation for years.
We have no privacy , I have a clean background but now my health is being questioned. If iits not one thing it is another. I be damn I beeen sober almost 8 years and the companies you work for these days think they need all this information on your life, that is really none of thier business. It seems like the American with Disablitlies article is non-existent for some of us. I eveen had to fill out with my application if I thought I was Mentally stabel and not Bi-Polar or had some other impairment. None of us are perfect and this job is far from perfect. It is a low balling job but it pays well, with not good reviews. I guess I will have to play the game, but I am watering down my urine just like faking a drug test so I have no Glucose in my system if it is checked again. I need the work. I know my Dr will probably do a Glucose check and I am watching my foods and drinking a ton of water. I know how to fake a drug test and this is no different. I just got a call from this comapny wanting to know what is taking so long. Shit , this life we live in is a whirlwind..Chris

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Sobriety Even in The Hardest Times

Letly, I have been searching for that perfect job. I have a few money making platforms I am using right now. However, I need the Insurance and Benefits of a good company to work for.I have been unemployed, so to speak for about six months, and where I live in West Texas its is hard to find any job. The jobs that are left in the area , do not even pay you enough to pay bills or eat with. These are hard times for everyone. The cutbacks from the oil industry suprise me how many people in my town are still out driving around and making ends meet. There have been thousands of people who have left this town due to the non-drilling activity. There are apartments that a re cheap again, groceries are still high and Doctors are very high.

I guess what I am trying to say is even if I wanted to start drinking again , it would be foolish as most of my money would go to beer. I don't even know what a 6 pack cost but I am sure I could eat on this money for a few days. When you quit drinking you think of these normal things, on how you can stretch your money out. God knowa I am trying and he has not given up on me. He pushes me out of bed daily to go through the jobs and send out resumes  so I can further escalate my non- working condition. I pray everyday for something to come through. For every one resume I send out there are hundreds like me. Some with further education than I have and aftere talking to some of the managers hiring in the area, most people are wanting oil field type money for these jobs. This is not happening though and the hiring managers will not hire someone at 20..00 and hour when they know they can get someone to work for 9 or 10 and hour. How do you live on that kind of money without going bankrupt?

Welll , i hope i don't have to find this out. Right now I am staying sober and working the program on a daily basis, and trying to figure clues as to get around this town with the money I have.It is a game that is no fun. Moving may be the answer , but being at the age I am , may not provide an answer to my job situation. I wonder how many people are going through the job task I am. I am luckily , siingle and have a house that is paid for and , I have a sober life with money in the bank, just not that much. So I very well may be doing better than those out seeking employment than I think.

Oh well, this is a blog about how my life is progressing , and even with the low times as right now with employment, it could be worse. It makes a man feel less than a man when he is unemployed. Hopefully things are about to change. Chris

Saturday, February 6, 2016

Social Sobriety - Get a Hobby!!

There is nothing worse than sitting on your ass passing the time away hoping for something to heppen. Belive me, I have been doing this for a while and getting fat and out of shape. I do things, but they all involve no exercise. I found out today just cleaning out my garage that i was winded and sore and tired out really quickly. I decided I was not going to quit , so I finished a project that was long over due.
It is easy to sit and get on a pity potty , cause like I said I have been there and hopefully this new experience has taught me to at least walk my dog every day
, and go a little more further each day. It is good to get sore and lose weight. A hobby of mine is painting and photography and flying drones. I noticed I was getting winded from just being in my living room flying these little drones in the main living room and this is not good.
Staying sober and healthy go hand in hand, I know this might sound stupid but activity does make you feel better after you have done it. I feel 100 % better now and I am tired enough to rest on the couch. I feel no guilt and I feel revived just from doing an activity one time.
I am going to practice this everyday to see how I lose weight and if my mood improves. I have a feeling this will help maybe one or two of you also.. Have a great weekend..Chris

Friday, February 5, 2016

When you Sponsor a Crazy Person

I have had the luck of sponsoring a few men in my AA group and one stands out as just plain insane. My job as a sponsor is to help those in need of staying away from drinking and to help them with the steps. That is all. I don't try to get involved with their personal lives nor do I want to get involved with them in their personal lives.Help is what a sponsor does, but there is a point where you have to shut people up that are not even trying to work the AA program and text you every 5 minutes and they  talk about their life and work, and really I don't give a shit about the bullshit.Maybe I am being a little harsh but there are those that use sponsors as a means of a counselor and that I am not.
SO when you sponsor a crazy person that phones you all the time or text you about stufff that has no bearing on AA. You have to let them go. I have held on to this one person, and finally said I can't help you. He was driving me crazy with texting 20-30 text a day.I stopped answering them,a dn felt guilty until I finally put my foot down and said ,"Hey if you want help with the steps and AA, Call me and do not text me".

It is needed to be stern on occasions and you and i are only human. We are not guidance counselors, we are just people with a little bit of knowledge of how to stay sober. Do not use a cponsor for things that are ordinary day to day talking. Sure if you have a problem then use a cponsor, but we don't have all the answers. Ask them to get another sponsor to help. You can only do so much to help someone that is not even interested in practicing the 12 steps of AA. In fact you should stop if the conversation is not directly related to AA. Just my opinion on sponsoring certain people. Chris