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Showing posts with the label Big Book.

Alcoholic ? Now How Can I be One if I Don't Drink Anymore

I have a problem with AA. How could I be an alcoholic if I freakin don't drink anymore? Good question I think and I am sure if you are a recovering or recovered alcoholic you had to ask this question to your self. Is it because we call ourselves alcoholics to impress others in AA. I would like to stand up and say "Hello I'm Chris and I am here to learn how to live life without drugs or alcohol, can you help me"?Maybe someone has said this in a meeting. I should because that is why I go to AA meetings and to learn how to live through the Big Book of AA is fine in the 1930s when it was written at least the initial book. I find a lot of biblical information on how I should live in this book, but does it need to be rewritten to the time we are now living in?

I listen to old timers say the same old shit day after day sometimes, and I can tell you what they are doing right now. They are at an AA meeting telling the same old shit again, sometimes three or four times a day a…

Music and The Sober Musician

I am a musician and record my work in my home. I am fortunate enough to have almost every instrument I could need in order to play the music I like. My taste in music is mostly hardcore rock to mellow ballads. I am eight years sober and I remember when I stated playing
again after I got sober, and nothing came to my mind to play. Over the years my mind has opened up and I just play what I enjoy hearing and sometimes it actually sounds pretty decent. I am not a professional musician , however I have played in bands most of my life for fun and enjoyment. I prefer not to play in a band right now because I don't need to get wired up in a bar and start drinking and playing. It is tempting to do this but , my sobriety is not worth the headaches and pain of starting to drink for fun again. I would be back on the roller coaster of drinking every day. The big book of AA talks about the casual drinker and the thoughts of one day being able to drink like normal people, but I am far past norm…

Accepting God Into Your Life Sober or Not

I know this is a strange heading I am writing about . However it is true that if we just acept Jesus into our lives , we will all go to heaven. Now some religions such as Mormons do not believe in this simple act, which is fine. I am not teaching religion on this blog, this blog is about saving lives through knowing a spirit greater than your self , named God. God and Jesus are the same. God is not man and Jesus is the spiritual advisory for God. If you are sober you have come to believe in a power greater than yourself, if your in AA, you know this spirit must be God or Jesus. Once you take the simple step and invite Jesus into your life, you will go to heaven. Period.

I don't know about you but when I die I want to go to heaven. I don't know what Hell is but I have a feeling I have visited Hell many times while I was in my addiction. Maybe you have felt this way also. It is enough to convince me that there is a loving God who can take away my sins and forgive me and help me …

Changes In Life with Sobriety

My life keeps foinf every day. Sometimes the changes are good and other times the changes are not that god. The 2 Steps of AA help me deal with change. I give this up to God. I have no other choice. I do my work in the program and he does his. If we really believe in God then changes work out pretty good. However they may not work out like we want them . I recently have been offered a couple of jobs then they were taken back. I never have experienced that type of change. I drive for Uber at times to make extra money and I like meeting other people who may not be as fortunate as I am in my life. It matters no how much money one has , but their character, is what is interesting. Uber is a humbling experience in Midland as most wealthy Oil and Gas business men use the service cause it is cheap for them and reliable. I have written a couple of children's books and put them on Amazon , and they are going nowhere, but the effort I put into these were not sufficient. Therefor you get wha…

Why is AA so Important to Keep Sobriety

AA is a group of recovered or recovering alcoholics that meet usually on a daily basis or during the week at specific times. What we do in AA is talk about how to better our lives with the tools that we are given in AA. One tool is the use of the 12 Step Program which if followed in order can help one beat the use of alcohol and keep one sober for many months, and years. It is not a cult and is not a religious group. It is people who are looking for answers to thier questions that are usually found in th Big Book of AA that is a read for the purpose of staying sober and breaking down the 12 Step Program into a more understandable way for us former alcoholics.

Why is it a necessity to go to these groups? You make friends with some of these people in AA that may have drank for the same reasons you did. We share our experiences in these rooms and remember how insignificant they really were compared to our new life of sobriety.We change while we attend these meetings into citizens that pe…

The Big Book and Sobriety

I don't make it a habit to read the Big Book of AA. I do read it in the mornings or evenings where I get bored. I usually see myself in some fashion or another in this book. This could be a present or past reflection on whom I have become as a sober individual. When reading the Big Book of AA , I find passages that are out of date. The meaning of some of the words can be quite confusing to me, so I look some of them up in a dictionary, and the word makes perfect sense to the context in which it is written. I find that reading the pages in the back of the book can be enlightening to myself, as when I go to AA meetings these back chapters are ignored.Most of the AA meetings are focused on the 12 steps of the book in the first 100 or so pages. This is good information and if lived with a spiritual connection do work for the alcoholic who is trying to understand what this whole book and program is about.

I also read the Bible on a daily basis and Rick Warren a Pastor out of California…

Social Sobriety- Who I am and Will Become

This blog is for me as it is a journal through my life as a sober living man in Midland, Texas. I am 53 years old and grew up in Midland , Texas since age 8 . I have moved to several different cities around the country since then by myself, and have lived an adventurous and confusing life. This is not to say I am any different than most people my age as most will have moved at one point in thier lives and most will not drink themselves to complete oblivion like I use to . I sobered up many times since I was 18 years old but it was not until I was 45 did sobriety and treatment actually mean much to me. It took me getting so sick that I could barely walk, and talk. I started my sobriety in Kerrville , Texas at La Hacienda Treatment Center, One of the best programs in the USA. However It was not my first Rodeo , so to speak it has been my last . I have over eight years of continuous sobriety and I am grateful to AA and to God whom I talk to on a daily basis. He is my director for the day…

Sober up Today and Live for the Future

It's never too late to sober up from drugs or alcohol. If you are still breathing and I assume you are then you have the chance of being sober for today. If taken one step or moment at a time, you can be  free of alcohol and drug abuse if you really want to . You have to take this action, however, and one of the ways is to not buy the drug at all. Then the second thing you will have to do is tell your old friends that you have quit, like you might have told them a hundred times, but if honestly, you want the power of sobriety in your life. The friends will not longer be friends, cause they probably still drink or they are not the new crowd you want to be around anymore.

Yes, at times, changing your surroundings and people that you love is a necessity to keep sober. Stop blaming others for what you put in your stomach, cause it is a personal thing . You decided to inject alcohol and or drugs into your system, not anyone else. Like I have heard before when I was a baby I was not bor…

2016 Sober Birthday Today

I turned 53 today on April 17th ,1963 and I tried to put together a trip , but just made a mess out of it. I am happy to be sober today and quite tired as I ended up going to Ruidoso, New Mexico on Saturday to celebrate my birthday by myself. I also played at the casino on my trip and did not win a thing. I went through ton of money and nothing hit on the one armed bandits. I usually do pretty good, but I have come to the conclusion that my hard earned money was not worth losing to a machine in a mattter of minutes. I had booked a hotel room as Ruidoso is about a 5-hour drive from Midland, Texas. When I was finished losing all my money, I checked in and then laid down for a moment, and checked out. I drove all the way back last night. Foolish as it was, because I was tired, I wanted to be home on Sunday. Addiction is always with the recovered alcoholic. whether it is sex addiction or gambling addiction , we have that personality that over comes us in some things we do. I can't see…

Its Been s Sober time lately

It is April of 2016, and I have had a great new month witha new position in life, and my sobriety is well in tact with myself. I had planned a trip[ on my birthday which is on April the 17th to Las Vegas, but I did not feel right going by myself, so I lost a few hundred on this trip. You sometimes have to lose a little to gain self-confidence in why you are sober. I did some soul searching and I decided that Vegas was not right for me in the long run. I love to gamble but the drinking that goes on there and being by myself did not settle with em right now. So I have canceled the trip and I am heading to the mountains of New Mexico , and staying at a lodge where it is beautiful. I plan to take my photography equipment and take some pretty shots of the area, with the weather being so warm in Texas, and cooler in New Mexico.

I have to slow down when things start going in a positive direction , because I have the disease of alcoholism. I know that sounds like a cop out but I have lived so…

The Sober Life Can Be Great!

I have been busy with my new position at work and have not had time to write. I have been getting overtime and I have to tell you it's nice to get, but it tires me out. Therefor , I have neglectrd to write in my blog. I have had many good things happen to me.

A member of my family had offered a loan to me to get myself out of debt. I could not believe it, I did not have to ask or anything. This person knew I was underneath a lot of debt from credit cards and it was taking forever to get them out of debt. Well a check showed up with more than enough to pay all my debt off and this person just wants the bare minimium  monthly to pay back over 4 years. What a deal staying sober others see you try and they give you miracles as this was. This is how my last sight years have been while sober. Miracles from God and my family and others whom I just knew from AA. This is a program of action though, cause I was told in the letter that followed the check " Chris because you have been an…

Sobriety and Enjoying it!!!

When you are sober you can stuill have fun. One of my hobbies is flying these quadcopters or Drones. They are a blast even for a man of 52 years old. There is something really fun about flying these Drones, maybe its a revert back into childhood, except that they are expensive toys. There are little ones that will fly just as goodd as the bigger expensive ones. They take your mind into another dimension. You just enjoy flying up and down without crashing and you are in control. Of course the wind plays a factor in which way the Drone will fly at times, It is a challenge to get it to video correctly and to fly stable when using video. I highly suggest you buy a few of these, Yes more than one, and first see if you enjoy it, then move on to better made Drones like  Blade model. These higher dollar Drones will not break so easily and they willl set you back about 200.00 but you will enjoy the fun.
God grant me the serentity to accept the changes. I have been going through a lot of change…

Miracles and Sobriety On a Monday

It is Monday again and the miracles keep happening. I was called on Saturday and told that I had my job. There is paperwork to get through now and that will take a day or two. I need to start making money so I am happy. It has taken 6 months for anything like a full time job. However God has given me the talent to make money through Uber, Online , eBay and a multitude of resources to accomplish my goals avery day. I have had low times during the last 6 months and I have had good times. This is life, I believe people would call it. Living life sober and through the tough times is part of the test.
Please don't give up on whatever you are trying to accomplish, as I never have given up hope that something good would happen to me job wise. It can look dark at times but it is no reason to ruin yourself over these dark times. That is what God has taught me through these last 6 months of unemployment. He told me not to give up. I did not, even at times I had to reach out for help with mon…

Sobriety and Waiting

Have you ever caught yourself witing for things to happen, like a phone call. An important date or a call from an employer. The waiting is drastic on a person, whom has not much in patience. As a former drinker, I never had any patience and I have had to learn patience from my sobriety and learn to occupy my time with other things while waiting for that call or person.
I paint sometimes and that is a good time killer and I like to fly drones, that is fun but waiting is still something I need to be working on. The awakening of being sober on a daily basis is a blessing from God. It is nice to wake up in the morning and not have a hangover or worry about blacking out from the night before. A plus for being sober, and if a hard drinker not having to wake up and take that drink means you really have come a long way.
Sobriety brings along with it things that are normal to most people. Those whom I talk about do not have a drinking problem. I watch TV and see all the drinking the actors are…

Sobriety and Confusion about Life

Lately , if you have read my post on this blog, you have noticed I have been confused about what to do with my life. I have been sober for almost eight years and going through a battle over what to do with my lifestyle and work. I am a very isolated person, and just like my drinking days , I was isolated back then as well. I never really ventured out to the bar scene in my drinking years. I was always drinking at homw trying to make money and friends over the Internet with Photography I had taken during the day , to making music , and I have a large selection of music I have produced on Soundlcoud.com I am very talented in music and other hobbies of interest. I was always trying to cash in on my hobbies and some times i did with my art work and sometime I did not.
I was heading to Austin this weekend for a possible new start but I can't swing the financial situation I am in right now to move to another city.

Confusion while sober is one of the problems I continue to have. I want t…

Social Sobriety Donations

I never thought I would get so low on my finances that I would ask for donations for this blog. The point is I have been unemployed for a while now , and if you find this material to be of substantial value to you, could you please make a donation to PayPal.com The email address associated with my account is chyervalue63@gmail.com. Anything would be appreciated and I will personally send a letter to each and every one of you who make a donation towards this blog and my life stance at it is. I have hit a bottom with income and the jobs I have lined up have not responded as of yet, so therefore my bank account is so low that I cannot grocery shop at this time. I am reaching out and praying to God that the people that visit this site will make a donation towards me and in the name of God as a good gesture of your fortune versus the predicament I am facing at this time.
I never thought it would get this bad for myself and my family. I have only this blog to reach out to other people for h…

Sober Thursday 02/18/2016

I have bitched and complained for about a week now, and it is over. I have done what I could about getting my job secured and have passed my test, so now I should be offered my job. That is how it oges right? Well these days it is hard to concieve that a future employee should have to spill out so much personal information to get a low paying job. This is the American way now. You have to prove you have no criminal background , pass drug test, prove that your a USA citizen, prove that you are mentally stable. Does this sounf more communistic than anything?

Well after a few days of putting my whole life out there in cyber space for a job, I am now awaiting an answer to if and when I start. I will post of course when I get this phone call, in which I expect ina  day or so. I have spent about 100.00 of my own money in getting a low paying job. The expense were for Dr. leters and gas to and from each place I had to visit, and the time it toook for a physuical and one more Dr letter tsayin…

Got a Job - But!!!

Well I have passed a pre-employment background for a company in Midland Texas. However , now after taking a drug test that should be illegal to have to take. Meaning they were unsantiary where I went to and they found out that I possibly might have Diabetes. I have been checked and I am borderline Diabetic , but the dr. that did my physical wanted further information on my glucose level from my own Dr. So this puts me in a time situation with this company and also I thought it was really no ones business about being a Bi -Polar or Diabetic. However it seems like all information is to be released to this company I willl be working for. The Americans With Disability site says it is no ones business, but my own. So where do you draw the line at. You cannot tell a Dr. they are wrong, you could take them to court but I dont have the money , and it would be tied up in litigation for years.
We have no privacy , I have a clean background but now my health is being questioned. If iits not one …

Sobriety Even in The Hardest Times

Letly, I have been searching for that perfect job. I have a few money making platforms I am using right now. However, I need the Insurance and Benefits of a good company to work for.I have been unemployed, so to speak for about six months, and where I live in West Texas its is hard to find any job. The jobs that are left in the area , do not even pay you enough to pay bills or eat with. These are hard times for everyone. The cutbacks from the oil industry suprise me how many people in my town are still out driving around and making ends meet. There have been thousands of people who have left this town due to the non-drilling activity. There are apartments that a re cheap again, groceries are still high and Doctors are very high.

I guess what I am trying to say is even if I wanted to start drinking again , it would be foolish as most of my money would go to beer. I don't even know what a 6 pack cost but I am sure I could eat on this money for a few days. When you quit drinking you …

Social Sobriety - Get a Hobby!!

There is nothing worse than sitting on your ass passing the time away hoping for something to heppen. Belive me, I have been doing this for a while and getting fat and out of shape. I do things, but they all involve no exercise. I found out today just cleaning out my garage that i was winded and sore and tired out really quickly. I decided I was not going to quit , so I finished a project that was long over due.
It is easy to sit and get on a pity potty , cause like I said I have been there and hopefully this new experience has taught me to at least walk my dog every day
, and go a little more further each day. It is good to get sore and lose weight. A hobby of mine is painting and photography and flying drones. I noticed I was getting winded from just being in my living room flying these little drones in the main living room and this is not good.
Staying sober and healthy go hand in hand, I know this might sound stupid but activity does make you feel better after you have done it. I …