Showing posts with label panic disorder. Show all posts
Showing posts with label panic disorder. Show all posts

Sunday, March 18, 2018

CBD an excuse to smoke Hemp?

As I go through my trial phase with CBD oil from Hemp plants, I discovered a new product. This is called Dabbing Wax, that is CBD concentrate because I wanted the real CBD and this is the strongest you can get. I bought the needed supplies and wax on Saturday and was in a hurry to see how this made me feel. You put the wax, little slivers into a heating, pipe and smoke it, only one hit and boom. I felt high as a kite a rush like never before since quitting Pot. It was just the initial first hit off the pipe that the rush was there, I thought I was going to fall down, what a rush I thought. Then a calm after effect, but is this really an excuse to get high off CBD? I am not sure how I feel about smoking wax this way to get rid of panic, I think it might be an excuse to get high for a short breathe of the initial rush. I have to be careful because this is all legal but so is alcohol. SO for those who really want to feel what true CBD does to you try the wax. I am laying off of this until I know more about this shit. Don't wantto trade one habit for another. Just Saying!!!

Saturday, March 17, 2018

CBD and Panic No More

I am fascinated by what I have experienced and learned about CBD daily, and so much more is waiting to be learned. I am on week two of testing the vaping of 1000mg. Vape with CBD and I can tell that I have no preconceived anticipatory anxiety anymore with the panic attacks. I just go and do what I need to do without second thinking it. Amazing as it sounds, this stuff does not get you high or change you in any way except if you have a few issues with mood disorders or anxiety and pain. If you have these issues, please look into CBD. I have found relief in this and not Xanax. This is the kicker, I have been able to almost quit Xanax without withdrawal from Xanax in this short period of time. That is fucking amazing for anyone. No sweats or nervousness and I feel more like myself. I can only tell you this is my results but from reading online as the below information, this is one of the studies for panic.

CBD And Panic Attacks

Anyone who experiences anxiety knows about the incessant background noise that seeks to undo their very being. If that wasn’t enough, sometimes it goes a step further when a tidal wave of anxiety suddenly hits at once.
Coming out of the blue, this rogue wave takes hold and unfolds into a full-blown panic – unpleasant to say the least. Thankfully, CBD has a helping hand to play in riding this wave out.
Moderated once again through the activation of the 5-HT1A receptor, CBD impairs escape like behavior, which suggests that it packs an anti-panic punch. This was found by a study conducted on rats subjected to electrical stimulation whilst housed in a circular arena. Panic was defined as the threshold which prompted the rats to run around the arena in an attempt to escape.When injected with CBD, the rats showed reduced defensive responses (associated with anxiety and panic) when electrical stimulation was administered.
A similar study also showed inhibition of anxiety and panic in mice, whose fear was induced by the presence of a wild snake! 
These animal studies are encouraging, and can likely be supported by the anecdotal evidence of human CBD users who experience panic attacks.

Taking This Into Consideration

These studies may have a certain degree of internal validity, but when using CBD oil for yourself, doses and effects may vary. In addition, many studies showing a potentially efficacious effect of CBD are on animals, and may vary for humans. 
Due to your highly personalised genetic make – up and biochemical individuality, an effective dose for you may be different from others. In addition, the tone of your endocannabinoid system may vary, which could affect your response to CBD (and cannabinoids in general).
A good starting point is to try low doses of CBD and work your way up. Anywhere from 10mg allows you space to experiment. Doses used in studies (400 & 600mg) are considered fairly high, so before you dive into the unknown or potentially waste your CBD oil (isolated CBD may have a bell shaped curve effect compared to full spectrum extract), dip your toe in.
 According to the National Institute of Mental Health, about 18 percent of Americans experienced the symptoms of an anxiety disorder at some point over the past 12 months, making it the most common form of mental illness in the United States. Even for the rest of us, our chaotic world can still often leave us feeling overwhelmed.Regular users of psychoactive cannabis, also commonly known as marijuana, frequently report using the substance to relax after a hard day. For many people, hemp-based CBD oil can offer similar benefits, but with few side effects and without making them feel “high”.
Just as with our recent article on using CBD for pain relief, we’ve examined both the scientific evidence and anecdotal reports from regular CBD consumers online. Though there is still a lot of research to be done into CBD and anxiety, the preliminary results looks extremely promising.

Friday, May 19, 2017

Social Anxiety and staying Sober

I found this article in my email and I found it o be true about anxiety and people's perception and reality about anxiety. I hope you enjoy this article. Chris

The Three Steps to Dealing with Social Anxiety

At this point we established that trying to avoid or get rid of the feeling of social anxiety usually backfires. It leads to more social anxiety in the long run and you end up restricting your life and ridding it of all meaning and fun.
So here are three steps (backed up by decades of studies) that actually work:

STEP 1: ACCEPT YOUR ANXIETY

Social anxiety is not the enemy. It’s a feeling. A primal “warning” signal from your body to keep you from danger. Problem is, it was designed to keep you safe from wild animals and falling rocks, not strangers and pretty girls.
So when you notice anxiety coming up, together with all the negative thoughts, feelings, and sensations, sit with it. Don’t push it away, or change it in any way. Instead, let it be there, and really experience what it’s like to feel the fear.
Observe it like a curious scientist, without putting any judgment on it. You don’t have to like the fear, but you can learn to accept and embrace it as it is.
Notice where in your body you can feel it the most. What happens when you take a deep breath? When you hold eye contact with a stranger, does the fear get stronger? Stand up straight and lift your head up. What happens then?
Don’t try to change what you feel. Simply notice what happens. Instead of pushing the anxiety away, observe what’s going on. This trains your mind that anxiety in social situations is not something that needs to be avoided.

STEP 2: DO WHAT YOU DEEPLY CARE ABOUT

We usually feel the most vulnerable and the most anxious in the areas we value most in life.
I’ve never met a socially anxious person who didn’t care about having friends or connecting with people.
Instead of fighting anxiety, let anxiety be your guide towards what you care about most. There’s a good chance that situations where you get the most nervous, are the ones that matter most to you.
Being aware of this makes it easier to face your fears. One question we often ask our coaching clients is:
What are the things that are so important to you that you’re willing to feel anxious or nervous to experience them?
Think about it like this. When you are on your deathbed, do you want to look back on a life where you haven’t felt any anxiety, you never felt awkward, and you were always comfortable — but you also never really went all in, you missed out on parties, and never talked to the attractive stranger on your way home?
The other option is to look back on a life where you often felt nervous, anxious, and insecure — but it was a life filled with adventures, parties, random encounters with strangers, and deep connections.
So take a minute and really reflect on this:
What is so important to experience that you’re willing to feel a little anxious?

STEP 3: CONFRONT YOUR FEAR

This is the hardest part, but it’s also the most important one.
It might mean walking up to a pretty girl. It might mean talking to people you don’t know at a party. Or it might mean smiling at the cashier, asking your boss for a raise, or speaking up at a meeting.
There’s no easy way around it, and there are definitively no shortcuts. Be willing to feel the fear and do what matters most to you.
However, know that you don’t have to start with the scariest scenario. You can create a fear hierarchy, jotting down what scares you, and then start tackling the least scary item (e.g., saying “Hi” to a stranger) and working your way up to scarier tasks (e.g., asking a girl for her number).
The more often you face your fears, the better you’ll get at it.


Sunday, April 2, 2017

Moving on with a Sober Life

Well, I have hit a few hurdles in my last few post on this blog. I am back on my medication, as it works and I can function. Be careful what others say to you and about your life. You are the only one living in your own body and you know what works and what does not. Alcohol does not seem to work in any one soul out there that can drink to oblivion. Treatment is a must for the first time alcoholic who suffers and it is usually a good thing for those who are not familiar with the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. If you drink and you are out of control, please seek help, and try to stick with meetings and work the 12 steps of AA as fast as you can in recovery. This will get you feeling better in the long run and will get you familiar with the steps in your life and how they will change your life. By the grace of God , I am still sober even after putting myself through hell, on getting off the medication I am taking, but I am taking it as prescribed and feel like it must be the correct medication as I feel normal now. We all have some emotional or depression in our lives when we sober up. There is a reason why we drank, and although drinking is a disease there are underlying reasons why we drank. Talk to a Doctor and find out these reasons or maybe working the 12 steps you will find a little part of yourself that you can work on to make you happier and not so gloom.

Panic runs deep into my family, my father has it and he still drinks and my son has it and he takes medication as I do for to control the panic. It is a mental disorder that I have and my son has, and it must run in the genes. I cannot control this as I have tried ever since I was a 16 year old boy. I drank alcohol because of my panic attacks, as it was a sedative and kept me calm. I was not a rowdy drunk but I drank on a daily basis so I could get out of my house and try to be normal. I had to come to terms with my Panic Disorder and realize that I needed outside help from a Doctor and I sought this help. Many people in AA frown upon what I am doing but let them frown as I need to socialize and be as normal as most people out there in the world and function . If you have panic disorder, please send me a note and tell me about it. I would appreciate this very much. Thank You Chris Hyer 4/2/2017

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Treatment Center Bound For Prescription Medication Addiction

I have tried to get off Xanax and Adeerall for the last few weeks and I can't seem to get over the withdrawals. I wil check myself into a local alcoholism and drug addiction Treatment Center on Tuesday. I am not looking forward to another Treatment Center, but I want off these medication for a long time now. I am sober still and even thought what about drining before I go in, and I have decided that tat would be stupid. This is the first time I ever went into a treatment center for drugs that were prescribed for me. No, i took the dosage as told but the dosage is high and I want my life completly clean, regardless of the outcome of treatment. I am going to hold my head up high and go through the motions for 30 days and be grateful that I can even afford to go and get help.I knew early on that these pills could be a problem , but my Psychiatrist insist that I must be on them the rest of my life. I find that incredibly wrong, as I have read and studied the medication I take and it is for th short term not for over eight years. He said I was a special case, but I hardly believe him anymore.

The last job I had to fly many times, and usually the medicine would make me calm and I could fly anywhere, however the potency of this medication has gone down as I had real bad panic atacks and phobias before the flight and lost my job because I was unable to board this flight. This is when I knew I really had a problem. I also noted that my mind has been going up and down during the day  with possible withdrawal from this medication during the day . Its bad shit for the long term. I was told by two other Doctors that they would like to get me off this medication as the dosage was too high. They told e of the complications if I kept on using the medication at the level that I am. I did not want to hear this from anyone, and turned my head, but in reality a addictive perosn knows when he is addictive to something.

My AA friends , which some of them work at this treatment center are behind me, and that feels good. It is nice to be established in the AA world in my little town as this will make me proud that I am not only doing this for myself but others can see that yes, you can get addicted even when not trying to from Doctor prescriptions.So I won't be writing on this blog until I get out in 30 days. I could use your prayers for a speedy recovery, thank you. God Bless and Good Luck to you all. Chris Hyer
 

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Lost Job Due to Panic Attacks and Flying

Well, I have been obsessive for the last week for a flight for my new job. I was to fly out Monday early morning, However, I could not stand the anxiety the thought of flying was driving me crazy. I could not relax, and I emailed my boss tonight and told him the truth that I have Panic Disorder. His response was "Cancelled" referring to the flight. I have a feeling that also means you have no job with us. This really bothers me and is testing my sobriety right now. I need help dealing with Panic Disorder, I take medication but I knew if I got ont the plane and felt the panic I might take more than prescreibed. So I chicken out and said I just can't take this anymore. I'm upset of course, but this is not the first job I have lost to not flying. However it is time for an end to these attacks as they are taking control of my life. I feel so lonely, no one understands what I am going through. Have a good night. Chris

Monday, September 19, 2016

Sobriety and Mindfulness?

I have been going to Barnes and Nobles almost every day to read and I came across the Best Sellers on the table and they were coloring books? Confused and out of date I must be , but they are also on the top list of wanted books on the New York Times. So of course, I went and bought a Adult coloring book and crayon pencils for about 40.00USD. Why? well I don't know why except I thought , you know this might be a way of keeping my anxiety down. When I was a child my parents bought me crayons and coloring books and I was not very good at doing this as I was a action type kid that liked to play Baseball and sports. However being an adult now, and coloring these books is a different meaning. My mother use to buy these books for the kids to keep them quite and calm, so I suppose that is the Mindfulness that belongs to these books for adults.
All these new words in the new world, lol, but I have to say this, coloring these books are no small feet, and they do help pass time, instead of watching TV. I also get a sigh of relief in coloring a black and white confused diagram in this book. Hey, they look pretty with color, and it is a great time to not think about anything for a short period of time.

So , I thought it was stupid at first, but in thinking about these coloring books, it is great for shaky hands and for focusing on what you are doing. So , I can't rule out the posiblility that they may be a good form of therapy for some of us. Let's put it this way , the first copy of one coloring book sold over 1 million copies when it came out for adults , so were either really stresed or bored to death. I can't really put my thumb on it. I get a little bit of everything, anxious,stressed, mad, and even calm now thanks to the my coloring book.Sobriety is many things to a alcoholic who was out of it for nearly 30 years, so this coloring book is kind of a cool idea for meditation and watching the page come alive. Give it a chot. God Bless. Chris Hyer

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Belief In a Higher Power For Social Sobriety

God, is a big spiritual relief for me. There are those that do not understand God, and I think that is God's intentions. He wants us to believe in a higher power that is stronger than yourself, therefore the word , God. I have for the last eight years have had a strong belief in God working wonders of miracles in my life. Like my previous post about Panic, God knows that I could have a problem with addiction with the medications but he knows what is up with my life at all times. So be it. I wake up in the early morning about 5 AM and begin to pray for the new day everyday, and this last during work and after work up until the evening. See , in my opinion, God wants to know how you feel about him and yourself on a daily basis. He wants us to rejoice in knowing him on a personal basis. Whether you want to call it a friendship, in which God is my best friend, or spirituality , God works so many miracles in my daily life, that I know no other person or thing could do for me. I am almost 9 years sober now, and it is the miracle of AA and my God spirituality that gets me through the good times and the rough times. This is just me, there are those of you who do not believe in God. I suggest you go outside and look at a leaf and wonder about the veins in which the leaf grows and how intricate the lines are, perfect. I don't think we are a mistake in this world, and yet to believe in something one cannot see is hard to explain until you have had situations that are miracles that only would be happen chance of going on in your life. For me , and my belief , I think every time something goes wrong a right seems to happen . It seems to follow a lesson from God that I either have done something he is not particular lily happy with and then I do something to help someone and I get this feeling that is good and wholesome. We all know when we sin. No one needs to tell us when we do something immoral or sinful. We all sin, but what I think God wants us to do is show to him and tell him we were wrong. It takes a spiritually guided look on life to do this particular action.

In the Big Book of AA there is a part that says either God is or he is not , what is your choice to be? I want to be on a winning team and God to me is a happy spirit and I am here for his entertainment, but he wants us all to succeed, maybe not get rich or have a Corvette, but whatever we can accomplish in our daily lives and give back to those who may not have what we have is the true trick to this God outlook. The feeling of helping a stranger out with groceries or helping a person with the door, is morally right and it shows we generally care about one another. That makes my God smile and it makes me smile when I know I have done something in my life that I make no money but provide just a little bit of help to those in need.

Of course, there are those who cut us off in traffic and we swear at them or shoot the finger, but if you are where I am at in my program you let it go and say:God Bles Them" I was taught that by a friend that has passed away. Everytime, something rude was done to this friend of mine he would say "God Bless Them "out loud. I use to really trip out to this , but it is like cussing but your not. Your asking for God's help in dealing with this person and your also praying that this person has a better day. It takes a strong person to admit a higher power such as God can help you. However, once you take a hold of prayer and really believe in God you will notice changes in your lifestyle, and they are good. This is a good reason to stay sober, to have a better relationship with God and yourself. It is selfish in a way but most who drink are very selfish people, and it stays with us . I really feel a need to write more on God, and I will throughout my life on this blog . As I said this is a journal for myself and you are welcome to read it. I am 53 now and plan to keep writing on this blog until the end of my time. God Bless Chris Hyer

Friday, August 5, 2016

Sobriety and Panic

I don't write very consistently but when I get a thought I usually have to write about it. Panic attacks are common in most people,, or anxiety. The higher the anxiety the more likely you will have a panic attack. I have had these off and on for all my life. Sobriety does not cause panic but an alcoholic drink surely calms panic down and anxiety,.So what do you do? I give it up to God plus I take medication for Panic attacks and prevention. There are a lot of people that would not agree with this action. When I first sobered up eight years ago, I was a full-blown agoraphobic, I would not leave the house or I would have massive panic attacks.This was horrible, I had this before I even started drinking at a very young age and I have seen hypnotherapist, and taken CBT therapy and many different medications over the years. You may be having the same issue as I have and are looking for answers and I really don't have them. You might take a chance and take medication , I would not take it lightly, however.

Panic medication can be addictive and I just might be addicted to my medication. I do know I take it as directed by a psychiatrist and my sponsor knows about this and God is aware of what I do. I do not think that it is a good idea, but there is no cure for anxiety that rages and ruins your life. I have sought after a cure for many years and the same old therapy is out there that does not work for me. I just thought I would throw this Panic idea out at you people and hopefully get some feedback. Thank You Chris Hyer

Sunday, February 21, 2016

Sobriety and Confusion about Life

Lately , if you have read my post on this blog, you have noticed I have been confused about what to do with my life. I have been sober for almost eight years and going through a battle over what to do with my lifestyle and work. I am a very isolated person, and just like my drinking days , I was isolated back then as well. I never really ventured out to the bar scene in my drinking years. I was always drinking at homw trying to make money and friends over the Internet with Photography I had taken during the day , to making music , and I have a large selection of music I have produced on Soundlcoud.com I am very talented in music and other hobbies of interest. I was always trying to cash in on my hobbies and some times i did with my art work and sometime I did not.
I was heading to Austin this weekend for a possible new start but I can't swing the financial situation I am in right now to move to another city.

Confusion while sober is one of the problems I continue to have. I want this and that and my direction is scattered at times in which way to go. My head is on straight but my soul desires other things. I am not in a relationship nor have I been in over 20 years. This may be a problem, I need a woman around me to keep me comfortable and to have company. Maybe I am running from myself agian by choosing to leave where I have a house and no job right now. The job will come sooner or later. I have been working at puttting out Resumes and had a few interviews m, so surekly God will provide me with what I need. God has always been there for me, even in the rough of times and I am in those times now.

I guess praying for the confusion to stop and help me settle down and be proud of what I have . Being sober isnot all that is required to staying productive and living life. It is a good start and things can only get better not worse. I have to remeber that I have been through some hell back in my drinking days and I am having to pay for the lack of education and work experience because of what I have done in my drinking days. I have learned a lot from people in my last eight years of sbriety and one important item is just staying sober and relying upon God to help me out with my living conditions. I live very well and I am not looking at going homeless or anything drastic like that and years back I had been homeless and I very well know how hard it is to get a job from being homeless. I am blessed that God has held on to me and made me powerful to understand that it is not me that is causing the non-working consition I am in. It is the times in the county I live in . Oil prices are very low and it is hurting the economy in Midlnad , Texas and therfore the work is just not there.

Life can only get better if I leave it up to God to help me find my direction. Confusion and sobriety can go hand in hand but it does not have to. I think for today I will focus on my music and play for God and on Monday , the new day will be better than the the last day. Chris

Monday, January 25, 2016

Sober in 2016 , Take the 1st Step

The only action , one must take , is to quit drinking. That is the first and most important step in becoming a drug free and alcoholic free person. Is to not smoke a joint or have a drink for 24 hours. See if you can do this today. I know you can, even if you have no long term goal of stopping, just stop for today. If you cannot stop for one day and your addiction has you out of control, get help today from a clinic or a doctor. They will find you help. You just have to be willing to stop, thats about it.

Why today, because it is Monday and it is almost the start of a new month, that seems to be a good reason. However the better reason is you might not be here tomorrow if you don't stop drinking or drugging today. Start reading
the bible if you don't have a AA Big Book. Go to AA even if you feel miserably, there is always one other person there that feels the same as you. Get you a 24 hour chip while at this meeting and let it mean something to you. This is a chip for wanting to stop for just 24 hours. It will prove to you that indeed you can quit.

Why do I care f you quit? There are sevral reasons, you could be crossing my path today and if drunk you could hit me and not know exactly what you have done, I don't want this to happen in your life or mine. You could die overnight if still drinking because of a liver problem. Yes these things happen even to sober alcoholics that have relapse and come back into the program. I , personally want you to quit to maybe see that it is possible to feel like yourself for once in a day. Some of us drank daily from the time we woke up to the time the sun goes down or until we passed out. To pass out might mean death, and I don't want your family to experience this and believe me your family does care about you.

Don't give up hope and you can make it happen this Monday just for one day! I promise you can.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Uber Time For this Fellow Alcoholic

I have a little more spare time with losing my job or do I? I have been driving for Uber and making decent money to pay my bills in the West Texas area. Where there is a will and a way you can find your answers by praying for God and to him. As a recovering alcoholic I find that my work with Uber has been humbling from the start. It is really a cool job  , except for all the down time that I have no calls. However if you work it or stay on the App for long enough each and every day , I am making a little more money than I was with my last company.
 Is this  wonderful that I can leave my former job and find money driving my car, and actuallly make my bills? I think miracles from God come in many shapes and sizes. For my case I get to attend more AA meetings and have more free time, and yet I am working probably harder now then ever. How do I mean by this?
 I have started to think of ways to make a living where I am in control..Hahah..Sounds familiar to the alcoholic that has recovered, but in reality God is in control of my thoughts of self-employment. I have decided to start a need for a shopping service in Midland , Texas and there is no compitition in this market. I have found a template to work with and have made a business plan, ( which I would of never done if drinking), and things seem to add up just right. Will it be easy, no .However anything that is easy reaps no benefits and I am aware of this with my seven years of sobriety. I am not really counting the years of being sober, but brought that up to show those of you how one's mind can be straighten up and clear as to seing new objectives coming my way.
 With Uber I do 12 step work in helping people that have drank too much get home safe and no in trouble with the law and get paid for this, What a deal this is and it bothers me not one bit at all. Of course this is temporary but the money and people are all good. This is a God send for people out of work with a newer vehicle to use this platform in a way to make money. You also meet some reallly nice people in the world this way. Sober ones and not so sober ones.
 Do I preach Aa? Yes and no, I explain I am a recovered alcoholic and some wonder how to stop. I explain how I did, and answer any questions someone may have. It is a great feeling to be a rescue of sorts to others whom are strangers...
 In the long run if I was not sober right this minute I would be a wreck!! No doubt about this, however I have learned how to forgive and forget the bad. I have learned how to ove those that my or may not like me. I seem to shine when I have a new rider with me and I always have something to ask them. I am curious as to what they do and why they do what they do. I try not to ask to many questions and the drunks are some of the nicest people I have met. Most just slur thier words but I have to give them credit for not being stupid and driving. It's funny how I can not relate to most of them, cause I would of driven my car where these smart social drinkers take Uber instead cause they know the consequences of driving while having too much to drink, I give them dredit for responsibility to thier selves and others.
 I am no saint I just try to live by the 12 steps in AA and I try to adhere to most of them throughout my daily grind of driving and waiting. I am treated with respect and did not know that would happen. Maybe I bring something to these people that ride with me. I know when they smile they are comfortable with me as a driver and friend for just a few minutes and this is rewarding. Humbling oneself is very good for the soul and I am doing just that. I am not at home complaining that things are not going my way they are going in a direction I would of not picked if I were stilll using. Only those with sobrioty can understand what I must be talking about. Sober life is a good life and even though there are trials and situations I do not agree with they flutter off my shoulder and I rest in peace while I go through the day. Remeber this is not for you, this is for my self, I am selfish but I am loveable and a great man. I have become this though the program of AA and those that love me , yes even my family see I am doing something with my life and loving Chris for what he is doing. This would not be true if I was to start drinking again. So onward with sobriety and through the fog I see the light and it is good..God Bless Christopher Hyer

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Sober The Tough Times

I have not written for a while now and I guess things were going to good. I have lost my job with 2 years behind my belt. Was I being unreasonable , I don't think so. I was up for a pay raise and the company wanted me to go into Production Printing . I had no problem with moving up but not with the salary they were paying me or not willing to pay me. The company found a minute issue with my job performance and decided I did not deserve a raise this year. I informed them through email I did in fact deserve a raise and I was professional in asking for this raise. Anyway I am now a official Uber driver in Midland, Texas with hardly any rides this week.

Staying sober through all this has been a challenge but the obsession to drink has been taken away for many years now, In fact I have seven years sobriety , so going out and getting drunk was not an option this time. I got on my high horse and stated selling on eBay and making quite a bit of money drop-shipping products form other retail outlets, until eBay caught on and put a hold on my account, for drop-shipping, I worked hard on this website listing more than 300 items to sell and then a complete stop by eBay and I was not in violation of anything wrong. They wanted me to verify who I was and where I got my products from. I told them the truth and sent the required documents then they wanted them again. I said Hell no, I am not going to provide any more information as I already have done this twice. I can't figure eBay out I was making about 4000 per week in net income from doing this and it was a headache, but God must have other things in mind for me.

Living life on life's terms is a hard thing to do at times, but God has brought me through many difficult times and I am sending out Resumes to everyone. In Midland , Texas it was booming with oil prices in the 80 to 100 a barrel prices but now that it is down to 4-0 dollars its dead out here. The bust has set in and the jobs are not there like they were a year ago. Like I said I am writing this journal so I can look back at my life as it progressess. It would appear that I am degressing at this point in my life, but I am not.

It is called change, and God knows I have changed for the better and he will choose what is best for me next. It is the waiting game that kind of throws me off. You see I am wanting results now, and I am working at anything I can to lessen the burden of having to borrow from anyone to pay my bills right now. I have sources that are willing to help me, and I am putting them off the best I can because I can make it. I might have to borrow from someone to get through this stage but not for long and the good thing about being sober, is the trust factor that people have with me now. In the past no one would of been willing to help me out in the situation I am in now. So staying off of drugs and drinking does pqay off in more than a few ways for me.

God , I hope whoever reads this realize I am not perfect in any way. I am just sober trying to live by God's will not mine, but I do have to put things into action as I am doing. I don't sit around watching Television or anything like that. I am not depressed as I know something better is headed my way, cause that has been the case through seven years of believeing in a higher power , which is God whom love you and me, and ask for his help in our time of needs. God Bless..Christopher

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Running With The Lord

Its funny how life just keeps throwing us curve balls in life. We make life what it is today. God provides us with a brain and activities to work our brain with. With so many of us with years of drinking and drugs , we are all miracles. It is a miracle that one can get sober and still function in this world as a productive and empowering human being. We have great insight as to what not to do , and what to do. By working the steps in the AA program, How could you go wrong? You really can't , you give your life over to God and he takes control. You have to be willing and able to do this. He makes this possible , by giving us the strength of sobriety , and prayer, all things can be accomplished , big and small. I am living proof of this.

I quit a job where there was verbal abuse and it brought me into another job , in only one days time. It is amazing how this life works when we let go and give effort. Prayer does it for me, and constantly not giving up. I am a fighter , more than I thought I was. Maybe you are also this way, and you also know what I speak of. The miracle of another job , better in money and befits and a better boss. God wants the best for us, and I am not saying what I did was right or wrong, last week. I did what I felt I had to do , and just in time for another opportunity to knock on my door. God is with us even when we are not consciously knowing it.

I was dreading work last week after only a few days , but the verbal abuse was too much. No one should have to put up with this and God knew this. He provided me with an out. I have not actually started the new job , but it looks hopeful. through God all things are possible, this is a major company that was closely related to the other job. Very close, and it blew me away when I had my interview. I have been going to AA a little more often, and prayer is still a large part of my day, and night. I think al is alright and when you run with the lord, you can not go wrong.

Just a Guy
Maybe its the good living practices I am doing that is making the difference in my life. Being over 4 years sober is key to using God as a way to deal with the daily stresses in my life. I have not given up on this blog because I have so many readers now. Why is this? Maybe I am helping out those that need a little bit of guidance from a guy who at one time was in a trash can getting his daily meal. Of course, this is true and now , I don't have to dive in this direction, because I
am sober. Without sobriety I would be dead. there is no two ways about this disease and I shake thinking of this alternative. I was close to death this time I cleaned up. That is what helps me stay sober is the remembrance of how bad it really got in my drinking. Please get help if you can't seem to stop, your life will take a turn. It takes time, but overnight you will feel the benefits of sobriety.

You may be asking how do I stop Chris? The first thing to do is put the bottle down and call AA or a treatment facility and know that you really want to stop. You have to really want to stop ,, or you will go back just as fast as you sober up. This does not work where you can drink again, it must not, or you will never grow up and out of the drink. It will kill you sooner than later if you have been drinking  for a long term situation. If you slip and drink, get your ass to a meeting and tell the group that you fucked up, and they will help you. You have to humble yourself all the way through the program of AA and take steps that may seem embarrassing to you. This is called growth. Your family and loved ones will be affected also , and they will see a new you. It takes time though, and strength from God . There is no other solution. Death or a Drink. Period.  Christopher

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Chris Raymer and AA

When I met Chris R. , he was a speaker at La Hacienda treatment facility in Hunt, Texas. I was foggy when he spoke and in my Big Book , I have diagrams trying to follow him. He is controversial to some members of AA , although are we not all. He is straight to the point on the program of AA. This was taken from You Tube and if you like it search this one eyed bandit that discusses the "Issue Man", that for some reason is hard to find on the Internet , if not impossible. He talks of the "Issue man " as our spiritual malady and for some reason, not much is found on the Internet on this speech. I will try once more to find his discussion of this. Enjoy listening to this program of Chris R. He is a sircuit speaker and pretty upfront about his passion for recovery and people.

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Living One Day At A Time

The thought of living one day at a time, is not a new one. It is done by not worrying about the next day as you can not predict if you will even be around this earth the next day. In reality we would guess that we will live to the next day. How are we suppose to plan for tomorrow then. I beleive you should plan ior have a plan of action for the following days and try to stick with it. Have realistic goals in mind. To say your not going to drink today is fine, about the next day , maybe your not sure? If you have a few months or days sober, it is possible this thought hits your head.

Taken at Ingram, Texas Christopherhyer2013
The best thing to do one hour at a time is pray for strength to not drink because of problems or issues you may have. Drinking just makes them go away for a while, and continued drinking will cause problems with issues that could of been taken care of the first day. I was guilty of this and would put off important things and let them build up until I was in trouble with finances of whatever.

 It is Sunday and this day the banks are closed and many bushiness are closed Living one day at a time , means to take it easy. there are only a few things that can be done as far as today is concerned. Take a extended vacation, if able to . This is a great way to get a breath of fresh air, and somewhere that is serene. We all need this type of stress reducer. I have been meditating lately and this has worked really good when I can't take a vacation.

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Sunday The Day of Rest

Take it easy today, is the slogan of this Sunday 06/21/2013. Sometimes our dreams are not God's dream for us, yet how do we know? I have a dream of shooting surfing on North Padre Island Texas and I have lived this dream, but not on my time. God decides when your dreams are to happen and how to prepare for these dreams, give your heart and soul and prayer to God and let him make that decision. Is this an easy task, of course not. It is something we have to do everytday, is ask for his forgiveness in our own selfish ways. Then pray for the things in your life to change. They will in time. The spiritual malady that exists in each and every one of us, is to have what we want now.

It is too unrealistic to get what we want on our own time, Thy will be done , not ours. It's hard to swallow that line, yet when we do all sorts of wonderful things in our lives start to happen. When I surrender myself to God to do with me as he sees fit, I get an answer but maybe not the answer to a question I originally asked for. Hardly , I can remember what I asked for in the beginning because as time passes through each day we strive for something new. If its materialistic, I don't know how God answers this prayer, if it is to keep us from thinking about drinking the obsession wears away after some time, and the thought will creep into my head on occasion, but to act on this would be devastating . I know this from experience or learning from my prayers. We have to walk spiritually with God all through the day and hope the decisions we make , will impress God. He runs the show, we are mere puppets that should follow His lead. Taking control out of your hands and giving this to a higher power such as God is not even conceived by most church goers. If you have mastered this effort, then you know what I talk about.

To master the effort of letting go and let God is a learned behavior. It can come easily by prayer to God for his guidance in our days. It is proven that this is the only way to stay sober is the steps of AA mixed with a spiritual guidance of God. It does work and you have to work at it. Faith without works is dead, comes to mind. This is a keen example of how one can come to grip with his higher power. Let go today and let God into your life, and see how tonight you have made progress as a person throughout the day, and pray to God before you go to sleeep for not only yourself to have a spiritual relationship , yet show you the way to the devine presence of his way of thinking. It works, if you  let go and Take It easy. Chris Hyer  

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Working The Steps on Thurday

Working the twelve steps in AA can help with a multitude of addictions you may have. It could be alcoholic, eating disorders, gambling, and anything you have an addiction to. These steps have been successful in daily living for millions of people. Why do they work? The only answer I can come up with is that you let go and help others to obtain their destination, whether alcoholic, or a person with an addiction to eating too much or eating too little. You let God take over and let him rule your spirit. It sounds complicated, but if it were easy we would have more sober and less problems in life.

You must work with other alcoholics or you die. That's the truth, Alcohol will kill you eventually if you keep getting sober then slip often enough, this is a proven fact. The twelve steps of alcoholics anonymous was written with you in mind. To help you with daily living without a drink. It works if you work it. Take it easy on your self and make the best of it you can.

Did you know AA is online in chat. Yes, there are AA meetings online and that is wonderful for anyone. It cannot take advantage of the getting out of the house and meeting people though. This is a good way to begin and get your feet wet though with the program itself. You can attend these meetings all day long, and specific times are on these web sites that sponsor such programs.

Do yourself a favor today and attend an AA meeting and go away with something new from someone. It is a program of relief to most of us, and you will not have to suffer alone. God Bless....Christopher Hyer

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Wed and a New Beginning

This is a great day to start a new project. What can you do? Well , I will let you in on what I am doing. I write articles for several different magazines online. I am pretty sloppy on this blog site, yet when it comes to work I am as precise on my grammar as I can be. Spelling has to be exact, and word usage has to be perfect. We strive for perfection anyway, right. Well none of us are perfect , and I get rejected almost 50 percent of the time with my articles. If your starting out, I would suggest you study up on grammar and make an outline on the topic you will write about.
My Old C5 2004 Corvette, Dangerous...cpy@christopherhyer.com

When I write for this blog I do it my way, its a free for all for me. So my sentence structure and words just come from my brain onto this page without any order. Therefor the misconception of a good writer is at hand. I suggest also that you write for the best. Yahoo Voices is a great place to make good money, yet the Editors are strict. If you get an article on this site , you can make big money. I have made about 400.00 per article, so take your time in writing for them and have patience. They will pay off big only if you have the quality they are looking for. There is also a writing Academy with Yahoo Voices and this will help you get your artic
les published by this group. I have not even finished this Academy yet, and I have been lucky on a few articles.

Staying sober means you have to put action to your prayers. Faith without works is dead. You have to help other alcoholics every day to stay sober in this world. Go to an AA meeting at noon or at 8pm. They are universal in time usually in every city in the USA. My friends from Russia who visit this site, I am curious to your input please make a comment if able to.  Today is the beginning of a new day and make it count, help someone out if you can, alcoholic or not. Maybe a child needs help with life, help.God bless and keep your head up high to the sky, your special and God knows this. Christopher Hyer 06/19/2013

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Tuesday and Living It

Christopherhyer Art Oil 2013
Well my fellow friends, its Tuesday again and what a day. Went to AA at noon and I was smoked out. I smell like a big lit cigarette. The meeting was good, yet I won't be going back due to all the smoke in this place. I was told, hey man you must of been to a bar that was filled with smoke, so why does it matter.  Well it does, I have quit for four years and I hate the smell of it on me. I can handle some smoke, but shit I smell. I will change and take a shower soon. You see we just can't have things our way. I have been working for a company that paid me by the job. Well I was paid peanuts for the work I do. I had enough and quit that today. I will find something else. I am experienced in many facets so not that worried about it.

So as, you can tell, I have had a trying day and God the spirit that guides me, knows what all I have done today. I believe he is ok with my decisions. The work was getting to me, not being paid what I deserved. I thought I could hold on and get more certificates in training, however I still have a few on my own I have to get. I do so much to make money to live that I will not go broke.That is what is so col about being a writer and photographer, with IT experience. I collect art also and make films. No big deal to lose one th
ing that took up too much of my time. I do need benefits, my insurance is high.

Let's look at this , I lost my job and I went to AA I am still sober, I was flipped off twice this morning for doing the speed limit, and I can live with all this. See how AA works in my life and God. There is no worry , I know God has something in store for me and I am excited for it. It will not happen when I want it to, but I have a film that I want to make in Corpus Christi, Texas, that I never finished. I may be able to complete this in the next couple of months and market this and make enough for a couple of years. Who knows, really God is the only one that knows, and I am confident that something good will happen, it always do if you do something about it.

Have a blessed day and move on like I am , and you will be ok. God Bless.  

Sobriety and Covid and Living Normal

I have had this blog for ober 8 years and made nothing off of this blog. I write to talk about daily things and living without alcohol and I...