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Showing posts with the label panic disorder

CBD an excuse to smoke Hemp?

As I go through my trial phase with CBD oil from Hemp plants, I discovered a new product. This is called Dabbing Wax, that is CBD concentrate because I wanted the real CBD and this is the strongest you can get. I bought the needed supplies and wax on Saturday and was in a hurry to see how this made me feel. You put the wax, little slivers into a heating, pipe and smoke it, only one hit and boom. I felt high as a kite a rush like never before since quitting Pot. It was just the initial first hit off the pipe that the rush was there, I thought I was going to fall down, what a rush I thought. Then a calm after effect, but is this really an excuse to get high off CBD? I am not sure how I feel about smoking wax this way to get rid of panic, I think it might be an excuse to get high for a short breathe of the initial rush. I have to be careful because this is all legal but so is alcohol. SO for those who really want to feel what true CBD does to you try the wax. I am laying off of this unt…

CBD and Panic No More

I am fascinated by what I have experienced and learned about CBD daily, and so much more is waiting to be learned. I am on week two of testing the vaping of 1000mg. Vape with CBD and I can tell that I have no preconceived anticipatory anxiety anymore with the panic attacks. I just go and do what I need to do without second thinking it. Amazing as it sounds, this stuff does not get you high or change you in any way except if you have a few issues with mood disorders or anxiety and pain. If you have these issues, please look into CBD. I have found relief in this and not Xanax. This is the kicker, I have been able to almost quit Xanax without withdrawal from Xanax in this short period of time. That is fucking amazing for anyone. No sweats or nervousness and I feel more like myself. I can only tell you this is my results but from reading online as the below information, this is one of the studies for panic.

CBD And Panic AttacksAnyone who experiences anxiety knows about the incessant backg…

Social Anxiety and staying Sober

I found this article in my email and I found it o be true about anxiety and people's perception and reality about anxiety. I hope you enjoy this article. Chris

The Three Steps to Dealing with Social Anxiety At this point we established that trying to avoid or get rid of the feeling of social anxiety usually backfires. It leads to more social anxiety in the long run and you end up restricting your life and ridding it of all meaning and fun. So here are three steps (backed up by decades of studies) that actually work: STEP 1: ACCEPT YOUR ANXIETY Social anxiety is not the enemy. It’s a feeling. A primal “warning” signal from your body to keep you from danger. Problem is, it was designed to keep you safe from wild animals and falling rocks, not strangers and pretty girls. So when you notice anxiety coming up, together with all the negative thoughts, feelings, and sensations, sit with it. Don’t push it away, or change it in any way. Instead, let it be there, and really experience what …

Moving on with a Sober Life

Well, I have hit a few hurdles in my last few post on this blog. I am back on my medication, as it works and I can function. Be careful what others say to you and about your life. You are the only one living in your own body and you know what works and what does not. Alcohol does not seem to work in any one soul out there that can drink to oblivion. Treatment is a must for the first time alcoholic who suffers and it is usually a good thing for those who are not familiar with the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. If you drink and you are out of control, please seek help, and try to stick with meetings and work the 12 steps of AA as fast as you can in recovery. This will get you feeling better in the long run and will get you familiar with the steps in your life and how they will change your life. By the grace of God , I am still sober even after putting myself through hell, on getting off the medication I am taking, but I am taking it as prescribed and feel like it must be the correct …

Treatment Center Bound For Prescription Medication Addiction

I have tried to get off Xanax and Adeerall for the last few weeks and I can't seem to get over the withdrawals. I wil check myself into a local alcoholism and drug addiction Treatment Center on Tuesday. I am not looking forward to another Treatment Center, but I want off these medication for a long time now. I am sober still and even thought what about drining before I go in, and I have decided that tat would be stupid. This is the first time I ever went into a treatment center for drugs that were prescribed for me. No, i took the dosage as told but the dosage is high and I want my life completly clean, regardless of the outcome of treatment. I am going to hold my head up high and go through the motions for 30 days and be grateful that I can even afford to go and get help.I knew early on that these pills could be a problem , but my Psychiatrist insist that I must be on them the rest of my life. I find that incredibly wrong, as I have read and studied the medication I take and it i…

Lost Job Due to Panic Attacks and Flying

Well, I have been obsessive for the last week for a flight for my new job. I was to fly out Monday early morning, However, I could not stand the anxiety the thought of flying was driving me crazy. I could not relax, and I emailed my boss tonight and told him the truth that I have Panic Disorder. His response was "Cancelled" referring to the flight. I have a feeling that also means you have no job with us. This really bothers me and is testing my sobriety right now. I need help dealing with Panic Disorder, I take medication but I knew if I got ont the plane and felt the panic I might take more than prescreibed. So I chicken out and said I just can't take this anymore. I'm upset of course, but this is not the first job I have lost to not flying. However it is time for an end to these attacks as they are taking control of my life. I feel so lonely, no one understands what I am going through. Have a good night. Chris

Sobriety and Mindfulness?

I have been going to Barnes and Nobles almost every day to read and I came across the Best Sellers on the table and they were coloring books? Confused and out of date I must be , but they are also on the top list of wanted books on the New York Times. So of course, I went and bought a Adult coloring book and crayon pencils for about 40.00USD. Why? well I don't know why except I thought , you know this might be a way of keeping my anxiety down. When I was a child my parents bought me crayons and coloring books and I was not very good at doing this as I was a action type kid that liked to play Baseball and sports. However being an adult now, and coloring these books is a different meaning. My mother use to buy these books for the kids to keep them quite and calm, so I suppose that is the Mindfulness that belongs to these books for adults.
All these new words in the new world, lol, but I have to say this, coloring these books are no small feet, and they do help pass time, instead of …

Belief In a Higher Power For Social Sobriety

God, is a big spiritual relief for me. There are those that do not understand God, and I think that is God's intentions. He wants us to believe in a higher power that is stronger than yourself, therefore the word , God. I have for the last eight years have had a strong belief in God working wonders of miracles in my life. Like my previous post about Panic, God knows that I could have a problem with addiction with the medications but he knows what is up with my life at all times. So be it. I wake up in the early morning about 5 AM and begin to pray for the new day everyday, and this last during work and after work up until the evening. See , in my opinion, God wants to know how you feel about him and yourself on a daily basis. He wants us to rejoice in knowing him on a personal basis. Whether you want to call it a friendship, in which God is my best friend, or spirituality , God works so many miracles in my daily life, that I know no other person or thing could do for me. I am almo…

Sobriety and Panic

I don't write very consistently but when I get a thought I usually have to write about it. Panic attacks are common in most people,, or anxiety. The higher the anxiety the more likely you will have a panic attack. I have had these off and on for all my life. Sobriety does not cause panic but an alcoholic drink surely calms panic down and anxiety,.So what do you do? I give it up to God plus I take medication for Panic attacks and prevention. There are a lot of people that would not agree with this action. When I first sobered up eight years ago, I was a full-blown agoraphobic, I would not leave the house or I would have massive panic attacks.This was horrible, I had this before I even started drinking at a very young age and I have seen hypnotherapist, and taken CBT therapy and many different medications over the years. You may be having the same issue as I have and are looking for answers and I really don't have them. You might take a chance and take medication , I would not t…

Sobriety and Confusion about Life

Lately , if you have read my post on this blog, you have noticed I have been confused about what to do with my life. I have been sober for almost eight years and going through a battle over what to do with my lifestyle and work. I am a very isolated person, and just like my drinking days , I was isolated back then as well. I never really ventured out to the bar scene in my drinking years. I was always drinking at homw trying to make money and friends over the Internet with Photography I had taken during the day , to making music , and I have a large selection of music I have produced on Soundlcoud.com I am very talented in music and other hobbies of interest. I was always trying to cash in on my hobbies and some times i did with my art work and sometime I did not.
I was heading to Austin this weekend for a possible new start but I can't swing the financial situation I am in right now to move to another city.

Confusion while sober is one of the problems I continue to have. I want t…

Sober in 2016 , Take the 1st Step

The only action , one must take , is to quit drinking. That is the first and most important step in becoming a drug free and alcoholic free person. Is to not smoke a joint or have a drink for 24 hours. See if you can do this today. I know you can, even if you have no long term goal of stopping, just stop for today. If you cannot stop for one day and your addiction has you out of control, get help today from a clinic or a doctor. They will find you help. You just have to be willing to stop, thats about it.

Why today, because it is Monday and it is almost the start of a new month, that seems to be a good reason. However the better reason is you might not be here tomorrow if you don't stop drinking or drugging today. Start reading
the bible if you don't have a AA Big Book. Go to AA even if you feel miserably, there is always one other person there that feels the same as you. Get you a 24 hour chip while at this meeting and let it mean something to you. This is a chip for wanting …

Uber Time For this Fellow Alcoholic

I have a little more spare time with losing my job or do I? I have been driving for Uber and making decent money to pay my bills in the West Texas area. Where there is a will and a way you can find your answers by praying for God and to him. As a recovering alcoholic I find that my work with Uber has been humbling from the start. It is really a cool job  , except for all the down time that I have no calls. However if you work it or stay on the App for long enough each and every day , I am making a little more money than I was with my last company.
 Is this  wonderful that I can leave my former job and find money driving my car, and actuallly make my bills? I think miracles from God come in many shapes and sizes. For my case I get to attend more AA meetings and have more free time, and yet I am working probably harder now then ever. How do I mean by this?
 I have started to think of ways to make a living where I am in control..Hahah..Sounds familiar to the alcoholic that has recovered,…

Sober The Tough Times

I have not written for a while now and I guess things were going to good. I have lost my job with 2 years behind my belt. Was I being unreasonable , I don't think so. I was up for a pay raise and the company wanted me to go into Production Printing . I had no problem with moving up but not with the salary they were paying me or not willing to pay me. The company found a minute issue with my job performance and decided I did not deserve a raise this year. I informed them through email I did in fact deserve a raise and I was professional in asking for this raise. Anyway I am now a official Uber driver in Midland, Texas with hardly any rides this week.

Staying sober through all this has been a challenge but the obsession to drink has been taken away for many years now, In fact I have seven years sobriety , so going out and getting drunk was not an option this time. I got on my high horse and stated selling on eBay and making quite a bit of money drop-shipping products form other reta…

Running With The Lord

Its funny how life just keeps throwing us curve balls in life. We make life what it is today. God provides us with a brain and activities to work our brain with. With so many of us with years of drinking and drugs , we are all miracles. It is a miracle that one can get sober and still function in this world as a productive and empowering human being. We have great insight as to what not to do , and what to do. By working the steps in the AA program, How could you go wrong? You really can't , you give your life over to God and he takes control. You have to be willing and able to do this. He makes this possible , by giving us the strength of sobriety , and prayer, all things can be accomplished , big and small. I am living proof of this.

I quit a job where there was verbal abuse and it brought me into another job , in only one days time. It is amazing how this life works when we let go and give effort. Prayer does it for me, and constantly not giving up. I am a fighter , more than I …

Chris Raymer and AA

When I met Chris R. , he was a speaker at La Hacienda treatment facility in Hunt, Texas. I was foggy when he spoke and in my Big Book , I have diagrams trying to follow him. He is controversial to some members of AA , although are we not all. He is straight to the point on the program of AA. This was taken from You Tube and if you like it search this one eyed bandit that discusses the "Issue Man", that for some reason is hard to find on the Internet , if not impossible. He talks of the "Issue man " as our spiritual malady and for some reason, not much is found on the Internet on this speech. I will try once more to find his discussion of this. Enjoy listening to this program of Chris R. He is a sircuit speaker and pretty upfront about his passion for recovery and people.

Living One Day At A Time

The thought of living one day at a time, is not a new one. It is done by not worrying about the next day as you can not predict if you will even be around this earth the next day. In reality we would guess that we will live to the next day. How are we suppose to plan for tomorrow then. I beleive you should plan ior have a plan of action for the following days and try to stick with it. Have realistic goals in mind. To say your not going to drink today is fine, about the next day , maybe your not sure? If you have a few months or days sober, it is possible this thought hits your head.

The best thing to do one hour at a time is pray for strength to not drink because of problems or issues you may have. Drinking just makes them go away for a while, and continued drinking will cause problems with issues that could of been taken care of the first day. I was guilty of this and would put off important things and let them build up until I was in trouble with finances of whatever.

 It is Sunday a…

Sunday The Day of Rest

Take it easy today, is the slogan of this Sunday 06/21/2013. Sometimes our dreams are not God's dream for us, yet how do we know? I have a dream of shooting surfing on North Padre Island Texas and I have lived this dream, but not on my time. God decides when your dreams are to happen and how to prepare for these dreams, give your heart and soul and prayer to God and let him make that decision. Is this an easy task, of course not. It is something we have to do everytday, is ask for his forgiveness in our own selfish ways. Then pray for the things in your life to change. They will in time. The spiritual malady that exists in each and every one of us, is to have what we want now.

It is too unrealistic to get what we want on our own time, Thy will be done , not ours. It's hard to swallow that line, yet when we do all sorts of wonderful things in our lives start to happen. When I surrender myself to God to do with me as he sees fit, I get an answer but maybe not the answer to a ques…

Working The Steps on Thurday

Working the twelve steps in AA can help with a multitude of addictions you may have. It could be alcoholic, eating disorders, gambling, and anything you have an addiction to. These steps have been successful in daily living for millions of people. Why do they work? The only answer I can come up with is that you let go and help others to obtain their destination, whether alcoholic, or a person with an addiction to eating too much or eating too little. You let God take over and let him rule your spirit. It sounds complicated, but if it were easy we would have more sober and less problems in life.

You must work with other alcoholics or you die. That's the truth, Alcohol will kill you eventually if you keep getting sober then slip often enough, this is a proven fact. The twelve steps of alcoholics anonymous was written with you in mind. To help you with daily living without a drink. It works if you work it. Take it easy on your self and make the best of it you can.

Did you know AA is on…

Wed and a New Beginning

This is a great day to start a new project. What can you do? Well , I will let you in on what I am doing. I write articles for several different magazines online. I am pretty sloppy on this blog site, yet when it comes to work I am as precise on my grammar as I can be. Spelling has to be exact, and word usage has to be perfect. We strive for perfection anyway, right. Well none of us are perfect , and I get rejected almost 50 percent of the time with my articles. If your starting out, I would suggest you study up on grammar and make an outline on the topic you will write about.

When I write for this blog I do it my way, its a free for all for me. So my sentence structure and words just come from my brain onto this page without any order. Therefor the misconception of a good writer is at hand. I suggest also that you write for the best. Yahoo Voices is a great place to make good money, yet the Editors are strict. If you get an article on this site , you can make big money. I have made ab…

Tuesday and Living It

Well my fellow friends, its Tuesday again and what a day. Went to AA at noon and I was smoked out. I smell like a big lit cigarette. The meeting was good, yet I won't be going back due to all the smoke in this place. I was told, hey man you must of been to a bar that was filled with smoke, so why does it matter.  Well it does, I have quit for four years and I hate the smell of it on me. I can handle some smoke, but shit I smell. I will change and take a shower soon. You see we just can't have things our way. I have been working for a company that paid me by the job. Well I was paid peanuts for the work I do. I had enough and quit that today. I will find something else. I am experienced in many facets so not that worried about it.

So as, you can tell, I have had a trying day and God the spirit that guides me, knows what all I have done today. I believe he is ok with my decisions. The work was getting to me, not being paid what I deserved. I thought I could hold on and get more c…