Monday, February 26, 2018

Xanax, Panic, and the Sober Human

Funny thing about life is we live in a addicted society, whether it be illegal drugs, prescription drugs, or alcohol. There is always a potential for abuse.I am one of these people that has had panic attacks for over 30 years and used alcohol and pills and other drugs to make me feel normal. The madness has not stopped, the illegal drug use and alcohol have stopped, but I continue with Xanax. I am coming out of the closet today for a reason. I have noticed that I am having more frequent panic episodes and Im on a high dosage of Xanax and have been for years. So if you read this blog I am a recovered alcoholic , but when I sober up nine years ago I was house bound. I could not go outside the house,fear of the marketplace or agoraphobia is what I had . I worked with dr.s on a solution beside Xanax and nothing worked as usual. I am monitored by a psychiatrist and I do not abuse my medication, yet the possibility is there to abuse these. I am fortunate that I am working still and able to get out of the house and do what normal people do.

There is no cure for panic attacks, I have searched for many years and if you don't know what they are , I am not going to explain this to you. Google this because I am sick and tired of having to explain to some people what it is like.To live in constant fear of if I am going to have a attack is stressful, finding help online at a treatment center is rare and most that I have found are trials with other drugs.The few clinics in the USA that help people with anxiety and panic are for the very rich as they don't take insurance and are very costly. However I have not really found one that is long term, just like alcoholism, you can go to treatment but a very low percentage of people ever sober up past treatment. So what do I do? Keep living my life one day at a time and still searching for an answer to my addiction and how to treat panic once I get off the medication. There is no answers to this.

Therefor, if you suffer like I do with these panic attacks and anxiety constantly, please leave me information if useful. a 12 step program for this medication is great but then I need to be able to function in the real world.Just like an alcoholic you might say, but it is not.I have sober up many times with the panic coming right back into my life and making me more miserable than being a alcoholic. This disorder of panic is really a bad deal, and needs attention. There are millions of people in my situation and from what I have read not a one has truly gotten totally off medication for panic.
God bless and please send me information. Thank You Chris

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Recovering Addict and Being Normal

What is normal? That is the million dollar question. Is anyone really normal? There are so many different types of people and they have so many beliefs. I would guess normality would be a sane person that abides by most of our laws and has a job, maybe a wife and a kid, but that statement is not true either. So I do know that to walk around drunk or high during the day or night, probably is not normal but in movies, they depict this as being normal.

I believe if you are doing right by Gods way that you must be somewhat normal. Don't hurt others on purpose and abide by the ten commandments the best as you can seem like you are trying to be a good citizen and good human. If you drink that does not make you a bad person if you drink because of problems then that is normal but not a good excuse. Complicated as it may seem, I think the most of us that respect others and treat them as we would like to be treated is the best idea of being a good human and reflects a normal attitude. We all have our sins that we commit to our bodies, whether it is eating too much or drinking too much, but we don't really hurt anyone but ourselves and it affects others who live around us.

Being a recovering alcoholic is normal and it is part of living for a good majority of us. There are some people that will never know what it is to have a year of sobriety, and that is a shame. However if one seeks to get away from the stuff and really believes in a higher power, I believe they can lead a normal way of life like the rest of our normal people in this world. Even after nine years of sobriety, I think it is normal for a person to have a glass of wine and smoke a joint and enjoy it. My problem is I never could accomplish this and would go overboard with the drink or find other drugs. Life is a trip and hopefully,
you read this and get something out of it. If not I enjoy entertaining myself with these words I write. Have a good day and God Bless You. Chris

Sunday, February 18, 2018

Prayers for Recovering Addicts Do Good

I pray every day at sunrise and sunset. I pray in the work day and sometimes I forget to pray during the day. The world is full of love and hate. I think the media is to blame and the Internet. No matter who is to blame, prayers can calm a man down when anxious or depressed. God is with me all the time and checking up on you the rest of the time. He never leaves any one of us. He is always there. Sounds like a miracle, well God is the miracle that no one can really explain in a manner where realism is concerned. You either accept the fact that there is a God and enjoy his power that he holds as his spirit runs through your body, planning out the day for you one moment at a time. I must live in the moment because I have no idea where I will be in an hour from now. God is powerful and all I need to do is look at my dog or a tree and realize the imperfections are really perfections of life as God wants them to be. I rely on God to show me the strength and keep my head cool in hot situations and to bless the world. What does this have to do with addiction, very simple, pray for God to remove your illness and do the right thing and stop and get help from one of God's people that care for us?


I rely on God more than anything to stay sober. It has been almost 9 years now and my way seems to work. AA is also a good place to hang out, but I don't rely on AA to keep me sober. I have heard the stories and I still hear them and I know I do not want the hurt from these stories. I like being free from drugs and alcohol, there are no problems with people when I do stay sober. Granted life throws at us certain people we don't want to be around and he gives us the strength to deal with these others.


Whether religious or not, prayers or mantras can become a valuable source of positive affirmation in your life when battling drug addiction. One of the most common prayers repeated in recovery is known as the Serenity Prayer. It was created by Reinhold Niebuhr and reflects the attitude that not everything in life may be controlled. It acknowledges the struggle we all face in seeking out a path toward serenity and recovery in a world that often feels chaotic and beyond our control.
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”
A mantra, or prayer like the one above, may be repeated daily to help reinforce positive thinking when cravings are creating distractions on your path toward recovery. The Recovery Prayer by Abby Willowroot, is designed to reaffirm your awareness of the strengths it takes to recover from addiction:



Time Moves Forward with a Clear Head

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