Sober and Making Mistakes

Just because I am sober does not mean I don't make big mistakes. I make mistakes every day and I pray that I stop but I am so bullheaded that I continue on making stupid mistakes. I sin, and therefore in God's book, I am normal to that extent. However I grow each day that I am sober, I step back two steps and forward one step. It would seem I lack self-discipline or dislike it. I am not sure what will come to me the next day, I change jobs like I change underwear because I don't like this or that and this has put me in a bind. I just cannot get comfortable with myself, maybe you experience these issues. I disappoint people still and I disappoint myself. How do I stay sober? I pray a lot and go to AA and I do not want to feel the alcoholic bad ever again, that is why I don't drink. Beside that I am honest to an extent, I cannot lie and get away with it.

Making mistakes that hurt people are not what I intend to do but at times this is what happens. It makes me sad to hurt a person especially a family member, but I get defensive at times and bow up over things I could have done differently. We all make mistakes if human, and some more often then others. I recognize this and that is why I am writing about mistakes and being sober. God knows when I was drinking I made huge mistakes and I paid for them dearly.

I probably need to hit more meetings and work my program, because I am coasting on the sober hiway right now, which does not feel

 right. Have a good day. Chris

Stupidity and Sobriety

I have been sober for nine years this May 21st and I also have done a bunch of stupid things in my sobriety. I also witness others in AA that are sober but stupidity seems to follow them as they talk about their experiences. The definition of stupidity is behavior that shows a lack of good sense or judgment.

"I can't believe my own stupidity"

So Who is to judge one's stupidity is it me or you or is there an organization out there that says, "Yes he is the stupid one". He goes sober for 30 days then comes back in and preaches the AA word from the Big Book verbatim without having to open it, then leaves and proceeds to drink again. I have met several of these stupid people. However, this is just my opinion on stupidity. One who says they are practicing the twelve steps with a beer can in his right hand instead of his left hand, therefore limiting his drinking ability.lol

I guess it goes without saying if you read my articles and the stupid things I did. One was trying out CBD from a marijuana Hemp plant could be a cause to call me stupid. I was not thinking and wanted to experiment with CBD as I have anxiety still but on CBD, my anxiety seemed to diminish. I was not smoking pot and I was not ingesting THC as far as I knew and read, that was stupid. Wanting to feel different than I normally do is not a safe way to live in alcoholics anonymous. It can lead me right back to drinking a beer cause that made me feel good also, however, the consequences of alcohol were devastating to me and my family.

Well, I saw a car driver do several stupid things this morning and it brought out the stupidity thoughts I had. Like I said I write this blog to journal my life as I try to progress through the social sobriety lifestyle that I have chosen. I make mistakes but one is I have not had a drop to drink in 9 years. I am no better than the guy who has 24 hours of sobriety but I am smarter than ever on what stupid is. Have a good day. Chris

Alcoholic? The Sinclair Method may be for You

I have to admit that The Sinclair Method has a very high percentage of sober alcoholics using thier system of taking  Naltraxone and then an hour later going out to drink. My viewpoint is I have learned the old fashioned  way of AA and I am brain washed into the teachings and what I know about AA, that I am not sure about The Sinclair Method for me. Like so many people who come to detox at a treatment center , there is a underlying problem with each and every one of us. Whether  this be depression or anxiety or some type of family issue such as divorce and these are reasons we drink at times. Not too many alcoholics drink for the taste after having several drinks in one sit down. Yes, the first drink of a beer was good, but to be honest , I got to the point I liked the feeling of what the alcohol was doing for me, not the taste of the beer. I would usually light up a joint and smoke that and enjoy the high off of that for a while then drink some more.

So where in this Sinclair Method are they going to combine a guy like me that liked pills and , pot , and drinking? That is the mystery and trouble with this method. Now if I was to relapse I would consider The Sinclair Method , if I got out of control, but I would still go back to smoking grass also and I am not sure how Naltrexone will help with the weed I smoked. Granted I have taken Naltrexone for recovery and it was taken at night and I slept like a baby, and woke up feeling pretty good, so I am sure the medicine does what it is intended. If you have multiple addictions is where I see the problem with this form of treatment, but I also see hope for those who use to drink , so it is a double edged sword.

Treatment centers are now putting disclaimers on their  websites as to why they are not using ,"The Sinclair Method", and I think that is fucking funny. They don't want to lose the thousands of dollars they get for a 30 day program from each drunk that passes the doors , that usually does not work the first time. How would it be to lose all these treatment centers and their  coverage  from insurance companies , it would be a blow to their   financial loss.

Therefor  , could it be that AA and the Treatment centers want to discount the theory and facts that The Sinclair Method might just be the answer to most alcoholics  problems? The Big Book of AA was written and has four or five revisions since it's first writing. Could this book become dust on the book shelves? Don't jump too fast because the program does work for some of us, as we were brain washed into this is how best to live life. I have to admit , life with AA is a good life, but is it the only way with so few getting sober from AA and the treatment centers that charge you a Ferrari  to enter their 30 day intensive program that may not work for you? I have heard numbers like 7- 10 % of people that go to these 30 day programs ever stay sober and that is a high percentage rate, but very disgusting and financially  hard on the patient and the family.

If I were not sober right now, I would want the Sinclair Method and this is because of the high success rates they have and the non-obtrusive  alternative that I now live. I live a good life but granted AA may just become a thing of the past and the 12 steps are a good program for anyone, that is living, whether addicted  or not. It is spiritual program.I have only one complaint on Dr. Bob and his first reaction to noticing a spiritual light that came into his life known as a God insight. He was on Belladonna at a nut house when he made the statement that he saw the light and the light changed his thinking about drinking and a God concept. Belladonna, fo those who do not know is a hallucinogen and man you can see  lots of things on this bad ass drug. Just saying...Chris 7/19/17

Negativity and Living Life Sober

That thing is this:

 

Not all things that people may say or think are really about you.

 

If someone is pretty much always negative about what other people do or
someone sometimes make personal attacks and let the destructive words flow
then - when such things are aimed at you - remember that it isn't always about
you.

 

Such words or negative habits can be a way for that person to release pent up
anger, frustration or jealousy about something in his or her own life. 

 

Or a way to reinforce that his or her viewpoint or belief is the right one. 

 

Or he or she may have a habit of getting others involved emotionally - baiting
them - to build a negative spiral, an argument or fight to get attention. 

 

It's about him or her. Not about something you did or want to do. 

 

You may just have been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

 

I have found that it can have a calming effect to remember this. And to remember
that the other person is still human and might be having a bad day, month,
marriage or job.

 

This doesn't mean that all criticism you may get is about the other person. Think
about what people tell you and ask yourself if there is something in what they say
that you can take to heart and perhaps work on.

 

Just don't make the mistake of thinking that all criticism or verbal attacks you get
is always about you. That will only tear you and your days apart and create
misery in your life. Taken from a positive email I got today. Chris

 

Everything happens, When nothing seems Possible Sober

Well, I have had a great weekend. I started off with getting hired for a job that requires a lot of traveling and this is fine. Followed by a girlfriend of mine who came back into my life and wanted to go out Friday night. When things look bleak in sobriety, beware because something big is probably about to happen for the good. I have been a little depressed over the last few weeks , and I still kept my head up high knowing that something good would become from all the resumes I have put out and staying busy with my program and AA. It never fails as God comes into my life daily even though I feel he has left me, and brings me big surprises. That is how sobreity works, not expecting anything really and when your down keep busy helping others and it will come back to help you. That is how eight years of living has been for me. I forget at times this rule of thumb. God never forgets me however, he just keeps me outside of myself and I get loaded up with ideas of what I can do to make life better for myself and my friends.

Don't give in or give up when you are sober and this is an easy thing to do when alll in life is not where you want to be at. In time God will listen and change your direction and guide you in a way that might not be your way but his way of getting you out of situations that use to baffle us. We use to drink when we could not find an answer or drink because we found an answer. However drinking did us no long term good, in the short term drinking let us forget the past, and future of our problems. Then you wake up and wonder why you feel like shit and the same roller coaster ride begins again and again. I can honestly say I don't miss that about drinking. Hope you have a good day. Chri

Why is AA so Important to Keep Sobriety

AA is a group of recovered or recovering alcoholics that meet usually on a daily basis or during the week at specific times. What we do in AA is talk about how to better our lives with the tools that we are given in AA. One tool is the use of the 12 Step Program which if followed in order can help one beat the use of alcohol and keep one sober for many months, and years. It is not a cult and is not a religious group. It is people who are looking for answers to thier questions that are usually found in th Big Book of AA that is a read for the purpose of staying sober and breaking down the 12 Step Program into a more understandable way for us former alcoholics.

Why is it a necessity to go to these groups? You make friends with some of these people in AA that may have drank for the same reasons you did. We share our experiences in these rooms and remember how insignificant they really were compared to our new life of sobriety.We change while we attend these meetings into citizens that people want to be around and do business with. It could be called a new awakening of of lives and even though most of us don't really see it , it is our families that usually see our positive changes and they tend to like the new face we have put on since going to these meetings and working the program steps. It's a spiritual congregation of love and understanding that binds most of these groups together.

There are a few that go back ut and drink some more and end up dead. These are terrible results from not staying with the program. Somehow , somewhere the program did not adhere to these people and since I have been going to AA , I do know if a few that have started drinking and ended up dead within a few days to a month. This is serious to keep attending or staying in touch with a Sponsor to keeping yourself sober and happy. Yes, it is not an easy program at times we all get tempted, but we who go to these meetings realize that it is up to us to stay sober and not someone else. You cannot blame another for your drinking addiction. Hopefully this provides a little bit of insight into what AA is and what it is not. Have a nice day.God Bless Chris Hyer

Sobriety and Living with the Power of God

I live with the power of God every day. That does not mean every day is going to be perfect, and by far this is not true. It means for me to stay sober, I have to hand over a lot of what is on my mind to God.
So , just how does a person do this? Well, for me it takes asking a prayer for God to take a hold of the situation and guide me through it the best he can. Very simple step right? However, I doubt God at times but have all my faith in him to bring me out of myself and gain control over my life. This has been an ongoing process for the last 8 years, and it seems to work. I do not stress as much as when I try to run the show. When I let my higher power take over my day or moment, it usually turns out pretty good and I stay active in keeping my human body functioning doing the right thing in life.

I have been a musician for most of my life but have not perfected theory of music , so I am now working on this with my guitars. I feel that it will make me a better guitar player and more musically inclined to step out and play for people and let them enjoy the music I play. I have always played several instruments but never really stayed with just one. This time, I will take it one instrument at a time, just like the AA program, and master one at a time. This is now what I do in my spare time instead of watching TV and isolating myself from the world. It feels good to know I am progressing in my music and it brings joy and pain to my fingers as I practice for about 4- 5 hours a day while my paperwork is processed for my new position in work. This takes about two weeks I am told. There is nothing else I can think of to do. I am an
artist that oil paints and I have this to tackle also as I could be a better painter if I chose to learn more abut my art.

There are a lot of things God may put in your life that is just right in your home that you may want to be better at and this keeps your mind busy and occupied. I believe God wants us to be creative no matter what age we are. Have a Blessed Day..Chris Hyer

Sobriety Curve Balls In our Social Living

Its is Monday 9/12/2016 and a pretty day in Western Texas, I have almost 9 years of sobriety as of this time of year. I have just let go of one full- time job that has lasted almost a year. Why the curve ball has been thrown ? Well, the job was boring and not very interesting to myself. It Paid the bills but I have another job lined up that will do the same, pay the bills. God works in ways that I do not understand , nor or we suppose to understand why God works his miracles in the way he does with us. I have been wanting to leave this former company for months and when the opportunity came and I found another position in which I am interested , I changed like a normal person would.

Now that is not to say I am normal because to me a normal person is one who can drink normal and still hold a job and so the definition of normality is hard to be defined. I am normal in the fact that I pray to God , go to AA meetings and try to live the way God would want me to live. I am 53 and yes I am still stubborn in my ways. I am single with one child who is 24 and I am very proud to call him my son, and he loves me. These things I know because now, he can tell me and wants to be around me. We are not very close but close enough to understand that when I am sober he really takes a liking to me.A very fine young man that does not cuss, drink or smoke and works as a cashier for a grocery store in Midland, Texas. He has thrown me a curve ball in how he lives his life, very quite he is and loving and clean.That is all I can be thankful for is he does not have tattoos and not doing drugs and alcohol like his Daddy did. I am very blessed.

I am blessed also with a clear conscious mind that I am doing the right and legal things in my life and not having to look back to see if I have done wrong. That is a plus in sobriety is looking forward  and to the future no matter what age you may be. The Lord has my back all the time and he watches out for me , and when i feel I may be doing something wrong I feel it and retract. God either is or he is not, what is he to you. God Bless Chris Hyer 9/12/2016

Life is Complicated Drunk , When Sober Life Changes

Hello, and welcome to my personal journal. I was thinking this evening how complicated life is. However, it really does not have to be. I was watching a movie and it was disturbing , so I walked outside and watched my Labrador Retriever enjoy her back yard, and even myself.

When I was drinking I was always in the moment, and yes I remember seeing some pretty things that God gives us all, like the Ocean, beaches and fish where I use to live on N Padre Island, Texas. It was beautiful most of the time. I was high most of the time also. At night I was always high and beginning my drinking for the night. Therefor I did not do much after about 7 or 8 PM at night except for the photographs of surfing I use to take on a daily basis on the island. If there was no surf I would drive down the coast to take pictures of the birds, and Pelicans that were so spiritual to me and my friend Harry. I will discussm,"Harry" in another part of my journal. He was a big influence to me even during my drinking and pot smoking times over eight years ago. He is dead now , but I will never forget what he taught me about the bible and God. He was a gentle man and a really cool person that I could relate to and I deeply miss him, however like he said to me. You and I are partners in Christ, and I agreed and still agree . He is with me through the day and the night.

Back to why I wrote tonight , I was sitting there watching my puppy just run and hop like a bunny around the yard and sat there in my lawn chair and started looking at the trees and how green the leaves were, and my roses that I don't too good of care of, and they were blooming up a storm. God , I thought is speaking to me and showing me the beauty of life, in a new concept, that I am understanding. The relaxing warm air blew in my face and my puppy was running through the sprinkler system and playing with the water,. She was showing off to me how beautiful the backyard of my house really is and spiritually I was really enjoying the peace from all this. I have not been very stressed out lately , but I do get lonely, but that is my own choice.

Anyway it is good to be sober tonight and July 4th was just another day for me and my puppy. We Bbq a few hamburgers so it would feel like a holiday and I watched a lot of movies, which I do when I have nothing else to do. I also read about Anxieties and how to deal with them, as I am very much the Panic Disorder type of person. I am being treated for Panic and I am looking for other ways in which to cope with my panic. If you have this you know how it feels to not have some type of meditation or medication to go through life with ease. That is another story. So that is wbout it for this July 5th. I have to wake up early and start my work day off, and the good thing is I am not stressed . Pray my prayers and go to bed. Life is just a merry go round at times. I am learning how to love life. Christopher Hyer

Alcoholic and Using Words To a Better Life

As a recovered alcoholic , I have read several books on self -help for everything I can to help me with anxieties to living life sober. I did have a book call Persuasion Techniques and Using Words. I found this very enlightening as the words we say make a negative and positive effect on whom we speak to and how someone might take the words we speak.

Its interesting to me that how negative words can be taken out of context and other findings I found on words. It is like when you say "How are you doing today?" That is very common, and the usual answer is doing fine. However we are really not communicating our true feelings we are just giving the answer that is easily out of our mouths. You might have just yelled at your spouse and your having a crappy day but you don't want to get into all that with a complete stranger. . Positive and negative words are very interesting to look up and read about. What is a word anyway? Got you on that one, I don't have a dictionary and I don't want to look it up right now. That would be negative in a sense

 that I just don't want to tell you cause I really don't care to do a search on google and then write a paragraph on this subject.

I just thought I would throw in my two cents on words today and if you find a book about words and what you tell yourself with these words , I think you will find yourself maybe saying words that either upset other people or make even yourself fel bad with the words that you use on a daily basis. Being positive in a recovering system is what life is all about is where I am going with this. Like I said I write this for me, and anyone that reads this blog , is fine with me. This is my journal and I think I will watch my words. lol Christopher Hyer

Sobriety and the Internet "huh"

Well, interesting enough, I started writing this blog about 7 years ago and I have about 400 readers monthly . So you are reading what was intended on being a personal journal abut my sobriety and living life. Thank you for finding an interest in this blog. I don't care if a thousand people read this a month, I am not making any money for it..Anyway, I had my AA Birthday night last week and 20 people turned out to listen to what I had to say. It really was a large crowd for my group as we are a small group of usually about 6- 10 people showing up to meetings. I was glad that there were people interested in what I had to say.
I wrote most of what I wanted to say down before going to the meeting as I was the only speaker. There was a fellow from the treatment center, called La Hacienda that was there, he was alright I guess. Treatment centers trip me out. They take all your money when you go into one and if you have no previous association with AA , it can really throw you for a loop. Especially if you don't stay sober when your 30 days are up. Then you lost about 60k from La Hacienda and then they beg you to come back. Shit, I understand that a lot of celebrities and musicians go to this treatment center, even more than the Betty Ford clinic in California. You would think there would be some type of warranty with your money. I guess what I am saying is that if you have not fallen off a cliff and lost everything , please get yourself some free help from the Salvation Army or something like this organization. It is no country club , but I have been there in Ft Worth and I did stay sober for about 4 years because the damn place scared the crap out of me. Scared straight!! Maybe that is the answer instead of expensive country club spa locations that cater to the rich and famous.

These are only my opinions but in real life when you get out of the country club setting , you might still have a job and a house and a spouse but nine times out of ten most have lost all. This is not true for everyone, granted we all hit our own bottom when we decide it or alcohol and drugs have taken our money and cars and caused relationships to dry up. There is hope for everyone, including myself. staying sober for eight years is the most I have ever been like this and I don't ever see myself going back to the old way of living because I was not living, I was dying..

Truth, is I am living a great life, now. Yes , there are some downfalls, but I am hitting them straight on with honesty and truthfulness.It is so much better than all the lies I use to tell people tomake myself feel good, and I did feel good when I was high or stoned. I feel good straight now also, and it takes a few months or years to feel like I do right now. I would be a fool to go back to the past and re-live my whole crushing living with booze and drugs. I think about it at times that I had fun parties, but in reality, I was not having that much fun. I was drunk or high and just existing in my body. We all have addiction traits , like to chocolate or ice cream. However , they do not change the way you think or communicate with the world. They are fun addictions that need control. I drink Swepps Soda Water all the time and I am addicted to the bubbles and frosty feel in my mouth. It is like a ber , if you know where I am coming from. I even get virgin Bloody Mary drinks at the bar sometimes because I like them. However , I don't go to the bar on a monthly basis. I am pretty much working at something everyday. I feel like I am excelling in every day and accomplishing something as stupid as washing my clothes or taking the dog for a walk. These are things I never did when I was using alcohol or drugs. in the past I just sat at home and painted some pretty far out pictures with oil paint and got high, I saw stuff and painted them. They were graphic and I can even do this sober, but it took a while for my artistic self to realize I did not need to smoke a joint to paint. I guess we never forget the past and remeber the good times more than the bad. I think that is where AA helps me out. I wish you al a good weekend and I hope you enjoy my blog. Keep coming back it just gets more and more interesting I think..lol  Christopher Hyer

Sunday and Waking Up Sober

There was a time in my life where Sunday mornings were when I got to sleep in until around 2:00pm to 3:00pm and it was almost every Sunday. Sunday , (As I thought was) a time to sleep off my hangover from the previous Friday and Saturday binges of late night partying and Sunday was my re-cooperation day . This was a time for cuddling up to a warm body who was as sick as I was , and just literally sleeping the day away.

Those times are gone and have been for about eight years now, as on  a Sunday , I get up about 8:00 AM and start my day on a Sunday. There is no hangover and I have time to fill up with gas , go to a store and buy food for the next week, and Church on occasion.

When a person sobers up his entire schedule changes in his life. Sleeping in would be impossible for me now, as when the day sunlight breaks , it is time for me to put into action whatever God's plan is for me today. I don't set my alarm for a Saturday or Sunday, hoping I can get a few hours of rest in. The problem is now I am on a schedule that I did not make up. It must be God's will for me to be awake and running a few errands, because around after lunch , I do rest for the rest fo the day . I watch Movies, Football, you name it. I am also a musician and I play my instruments or Paint a picture with the remaining hours of my day.

I do laundry also on the weekends, but even not having a steady job I wake up and dress for the say which is appropriate , and get out of the house and take care of what needs to be done. It is Tax season now and I have some work in this area as I am sure some of you also do, therefor there is always something to stay busy with on a day I use to totally blow away with sleep and hangovers.

I also for got to mention that when I was drinking , I sometimes did not want to go out to my car and see if I might of hit something when I went out on those Friday and Saturday nights.. Those were the scary times on a Sunday morning that I am glad are gone and I don't have to worry about. I use to wonder if I hit a dog or even a person while I was intoxicated back in those years. Of course, I did find dings at times from my anger when drinking and this would add fuel to my flame on a Sunday. I was also dreading going to work on a Monday and trying to figure out if I could take off that Monday so I could rest even more.

There must be something in alcohol, that depletes the energy in some people after a hard night of drinking  due to the fact of laziness the next day and the sarcassm I use to portray toward anyone that spoke to me in a way I did not like.Maybe some of youu cna relate to what I have said on Sunday mornings, possibly you are experiencing the same thing I use to on Sundays. If so, get your self some help before it is too late.

Sundays are a beautiful day to spend in a park with a loved one, or just being lazy and getting chores done. It is a day to live again and again.Don't let your Sundays get you down, Get sober and start living. Have a good Day..Chris

Sober Living in a Drunk Society

In Midland, Texas the highlights for most drinkers are the nights of Wednesday through Sunday morning. How do I associate these days with drunks? As a Uber part time driver that is when we get the most calls at night. The majority of the drinkers are alcoholics rather than occasional drinkers. How am I to determine this, by the repeat customers on these daily nights, and the way they act. Take and pick them up to go from one bar to the next and each time more wasted than the 1st stop I had picked them up from which is usually their house.

Society in this West Texas town is tolerant of excessive drinking, I am not sure if the oilfield has anything to do with the heavy drinking this town seems to have. I know other cities are just as bad especially those with universities. Alcoholism is a disease that is spreading among the younger crowd into their older years. Unfortunately , most would not consider themselves alcoholics until they lose a wife or husband, or some dramatic event in their life made them become locked up or homeless.

This is a destructive disease that just blows my mind as to society just accepts it. You may talk to your friends and they will most surely know of an alcoholic and it may be themselves , but hardly would one consider themselves an alcoholic, for they just drink too much. They laugh it off and don't realize the destruction they are doing to their families and themselves and society just accepts this. What is society to do about this? Nothing.Alcohol has been around for so many years that it is chic to drink and have those fancy glasses and as you look in magazines these actors have just a little bit of alcohol in their drinks and this is shown in most advertisements. Do they think we are all stupid. I mean, you buy a bottle of your favorite liquor , you damn sure are not going to put it in a little glass and sip it. I sure would not, open that sucker up and drink from the bottle and pass it around or not.

That is the thinking of a true alcoholic, and go to your nearest Restaurant and sit at the bar during lunch at 11 AM someday and watch as the bar tender is mixing several drinks together and working every minute service liquor, society accepts this as part of some peoples habits and I don't care who the Fuck you are , if Your drinking a mix drink at 11 Am you are possibly a drunk. Especially if you don't just stop at one drink and continue on through your meal and afterwards maybe put some liquor on ice cream and wash all this down with two cups of coffee so you think you are fooling the cops if you get pulled over.

Nope, that's when you call Uber in to rescue your drunk ass and take you to work!!lol...That is what Uber is all about shuffling drunks back and forth and the occasional traveler. Don't get me wrong there are sober ones that use Uber but I would have to say in where I live 75% of Uber business is from being intoxicated and now people have an excuse for getting wasted at lunch and getting back to work. This goes hand in hand with the alcoholic and the nights I pick up these fucking idiots. Yes, I use to be one of these Idiots but I grew up and realized how stupid it all was. Maybe these smart business people , with their degrees and high profile jobs that get drunk think they are above the law, and they are very sarcastic drunks. Its deplorably and disgusting to myself. However society accepts this and now they have transportation to inhibit their abusive behavior.  

Staying Sober Through The Day

Work seems to help me and keeping my attitude towards God , and prayer keeps my mind offf of the drink thing. During the day I listen to music while I drive to different accounts around the area I live. I enjoy my music and my car, so most of the time I am occupied by work and driving during the day. I have been known to do a little bit of gambling online when I am not working a full day and I don't think this is positive for anyone. Like , I said from the beginning I am only human and I write this blog to keep track of my progress through the years of sobriety.
I attend AA meetings twice a week and sometimes more and sometimes not at all. I do find a spiritual connection when I go and I am glad when I go . The problem during the week is when I get home from a long day, I cook and feed and play with my Labrador and then relax playing my music and eat and then go to bed. Its been a good habit , yet sometimes a break in my habits are good also.I don't usually break my haits of prayer in the morning or in the day then evening. This has become a ritual of mine daily and seems to also keep myself sane and sober at the same time. 
I think the worst part of sobriety is to have idle hands where you don't have anything to do but search the web and just see whats going on. It can be depressing and it can be enlightening. For me, I do a little of both each day.
I have seven years of sobriety in a few days and it seems long yet it was short. The growing up I have done is remarkable thanks be to God. I attribute my sobriety to the spiritual side of the AA program and to the many friends I have in AA. The Big Book also has been a great way for me to understand myself as well. I hope this helps other people in their trek for staying sober as we all live different lives and situations. I still have money issues even with a good paying job, that is my fault but they are slowly getting better by the month as I pay down bills. Nobody said being sober and a good citizen of the world is easy but it can be if you let it be..Chris

The Changing Sober Times In April 2015

Every day is a new day, we have to accept things we do not want to accept at times. Changes in and around us, affect us and we have to let go. If not , we get caught up in the hoop of poor me syndrome!! I , personally have been having the blues a bit lately, maybe because my birthday just past and i am now 52 and the world is moving strangely in a direction not familiar with most people.

 I live in Midland, Texas and you know about the Walmarts that have been closing in and sround the Midland, Texas area and other areas of the country. It is none of my business what the reason is and it does seem a little bit unreal, with all the conspiracy theories surrounding this and the military exercises that are taking place just around the corner from this city and possibly in the city.

We live one day at a time, and if we stay close to God miracles will happen just like staying sober. There is nothing to fear but fear itself!!! If you have a reason to be fearful it is normal, in a since. However to stress out and wonder about the future is not a correct assessment of what sober humans do. We are just a drink away from knocking ourselves into oblivion and possible death. The disease of Alcoholism is a punishment we all have lived with and yet if you are like me, it has been a wonderful enlightening way of life.

Yes, it is different to stay sober during times where we have no control. I have to speak for myself, I want control even being sober at times and yet I have to re- learn that I have no control over people, places and events. I believe in a loving God and no one can take that from me. No one will take this from me!!I pray for good health and for my family and friends and I have done this for over seven years of sobriety. May 2015 will be my seventh year without any substance to alter my mind. Therfor this is a milestone I have not ever past before.

I have grown up as a man and learned new ways of living without close codependency upon my family and learned to pay my bills on time and keep healthy by visiting a Dr. when needed. What else can a person do but hit AA meetings when you feel the need or at least for me it is about twice a week if not more at times when I am a little bit out of whack with the universe. I get a little bit paranoid some days , and then I have to remember that God is with me and he understands why I am who I am..I pray every single hour at times even while I drive during work and this helps me in a way that only a true recovered Alcoholic can understand or some religious person that believes in a spirit that is bigger then him or her. That is one point I have to remember is God is Huge!!!He is spirit , He is in me, He is my father.He either is everything or nothing , it says in the Big book. He is everything to me. 

My baby Lab watching me eat in the kitchen!!!

I have to know that I am OK with me!!In writing about these things I am OK with whom I am and have become. I am only a man living in a society that is messed up and I let God carry me at times to point A to connect with point B , because I do not have the will at times. It's easy to forget God is in our lives, with so much crap in this world. However I have learned to take a meditation break and just lay down on the couch and talk with God and ask questions to him for 30 minutes, and I sem to be good to move on day by day!!God Bless The USA....Christopher...

Re-building Credit after Hitting Bottom Due to Drugs and Alcohol

Most of us have hit a bottom in our life leaving behind unpaid bills and bad credit. It is not unusual to be in such a situation after drinking and drugging. So I decided to tell you how I got my credit back after being below a 500 score on FICO. It is very easy to do, and it does take time. Here are a few tips that worked for me, and I actually have driven my credit rating up to 710 and have new credit cards.

The first thing is all those letters you get for being behind, forget them. Do not pay them. Find a credit company online that will work with you in deleting these negative remarks. Even if you owe on these they can be destroyed. It cost money but only about 45 a month, I don't want to endorse anyone, but hunt around for anyone that charges about that much. They usually dispute up to 5 items on your credit report and it actually works.

After that is done, your credit score will start to rise after a month or two, and you will be eligible for credit cards at the following companies. The score you will need to have is about a 600, Wallmart, Target, and Barclay Visa, JC Penny, Exxon, and others. These are the cards I was able to obtain. However be careful and do not max them out ..They all give pretty good credit to you even at a poor score of 600. They help you build credit if you let them sit and don't spend on them. Conns is a easy credit card store to get credit from. Besst Buy is another one that I found to be easy to get...

Too many cards can drive you stir crazy also if you start using them, pay them on time..Pay the full balance or more than the minimum payment..I made the mistake of maxing out my Visa cards and it has hurt my score again, so be careful.

If you need to take out a loan and have a credit score of 600 chose Springleaf Financial, they are reasonable, and they will loan on about 4k in money at 30 percent interest..Sometimes that is better on your higher interest  cards.

I just thought I would mention this because I have been working on my credit for only 10 months now and I am fine as long as I can pay my bills..Good luck and God Bless..Chris Hyer10.30.2014

A Dog in Sobriety

My New Puppy,"Abbey"09/04/2014

Funny thing about being sober and not having a wife is you sometimes can get lonely. I finally have a house now with a large backyard and I decided to get a puppy. Never had my own puppy before, and now I have had her for over one month and she is keen. Great for my company when I need her, which is all the time now. She has grown into knowing what is wrong and right at my house, well she is learning. I get frustrated with her, but I am kind to her and treat her as if she were human. She is my love of life!! I highly recommend you get a puppy if you can while going through this life of sobriety. It can be great to get out of yourself and help a dof and train her into being a fine animal.

It takes patience and sometimes I run short of this. It takes love and I am full of love for my dog. I have to be in California for a week this month and I dread having to take her to the kennel, I love her so much and don't want her to think I just left her. However, I give her up to God and I let life keep on happening and I will be ok as she will.It is a humbling experience to own a dog and make sure she is fed and is kept healthy and trained. Responsibility is the utmost importance with my puppy.I would not of taken care of a dog years ago. This puppy folows me everywhere and is so smart, I am grateful for my girl. Sobriety brings about many different avenues in our lives and this is one of those times where it really pays off in loving one another.

Have a good day and God bless you on your journey as it can get rocky , yet trust in God and your day will be ok. I know this as I live this way every day. Pray for his forgiveness and you will be forgiven. Sins are always there for us to initiate and God willing he will forgive these sins if we ask. Living sober has its benefits and having a puppy is one of them.  

Higher Power AT Work

Just some Girl...

God has blessed me with an understanding that I am not in control over my life!!He is in control over the way my day will turn out to be. He is with me and I am with him. Sometimes I imagine that God is sitting in the passenger side of my car and I talk to him and he just listens. This is great for me, as I am not alone ever. God is with me when I almost get in an accident and narrowly escape somehow. He is with me all times during the day. Letting go and letting him work inside me can be difficult also. I want to run the show at times, yet I really do not. God is forever arranging where I will be at and why.

Yes , I am sane and this is very true with my life. Any will run on self is not good. I pray in the mornings for God to be with me through the day and night and to make my judgements sane. I pray that all whom believe in God have a great day today. I pray for the world, indeed. I think this is powerful in my life and has lead to me being sober for so long. As I know that God is in control of my thoughts and my ways of dealing with other people. The rude , and the nice people of this world, is handled with care by me. I am a miracle of God and so are you!!

May God be with you today and tonight and ask for his direction in your day. Take a pause during stressful times and ask for his help in dealing with a situation you have no control over. He will help, this is a guarantee. Live this way of life and live sober and you will have a new beginning and a better ending. Have a Blessed Day and come back...Chris

God This Morning and Sobriety

It is July 24th 2014 and a Thursday where I live. It will be Thursday alll day long. What does God have in store for me today? I started my day as usual with reading the Bible and then the Big Book of AA. I had my coffee and Coke and now I am ready to conquer my day.

This is the usual way I wake up with prayer in the shower and reading when I have time. I always wake up earlier then I need to now for a reason. I am not sure what that reason is? I feel drowsie early in the morning and it's hard to wke my ass out of bed, but once I get going it seems to just flow. I have a schedule I adhere to everyday. When I was drinking I had no schedule.

In the morning when I drank beer the night before I would be trying to think of excuses for not going to work and lost many jobs this way.I have had several jobs and so be it. Now, sober and clear headed these feelings of trying to get out of work do not hit my mind, it is how to get going and get ready for the day..It's a 360 degree way of living for me.

There is an AA meeting at 7 am and I think I will try to hit that sometime, that means waking up even earlier and being ready to be at work on time. So , this is an idea. You see, AA is spiritual and these meetings are spiritual. SO It is like going to church without a bunch of
hypocrites. I know that does not sound correct, but i suppose church is just not for me. The sprirt of God is what I live for on a daily basis, not the Church. The meaning that the church coveys is good I am sure, but the spirituality is not there for me.God is fine with that in my mind, a church is where a group of people get together and worship God , well I do this in AA. So what is the difference, except the Holiness of stained glass windows and an expensive organ that anyone can play in my eyes. I am a musician so I see the organ most churches have and if you hit one note on the thing it sounds magnificent.

There are those of you who do not agree with me and that is fine, this blog is for me not you. I write down how I feel right now this minute and if you care to read than fine. Maybe it will give someone an insight of an recovered alcoholic and how sick he is and has been. I am fine and spirituality wise I am sane and in God's prayer.Have a good Thursday as I am sure I will learn some lessons today as I always do everyday in my new life...God Bless You all...Chris

God Got Me Sober Then God Got Me Drunk!!

Welcome to my blog and I will post your email to me as I just did with "God got me sober then God got me drunk"..This was in my blog email, and it struck me good. It either is from a person that is trying to heal through his alcoholism and is failing, or this person really means what he says.

My Oil Painting Christopher Hyer

Let's think about the statement this person sent me.Okay, I thought about it, and this person can say what he wants , this is a free USA and I am damn glad it is for now. He can say anything he pleases and believe in what he says.The "God got me drunk, I just don't buy unless God had a purpose for me to drink myself into a drunk state , so I would lean
how to recover and be a better person ,then I accept this. If this person is spiritual, and believes this he might have a hard time staying sober. I don't know, and really do not care.

This blog is about myself , and not the other alcoholics out there. I write because I like to see how far I have progressed in my disease against alcoholism.Everyday , I have to fight off the demons of doing wrong from right, it seems. I know drinking is not right for me ,so I do not drink. Period. God took this obsession away from me five years ago, and I don't think he intended my life to be a drunk.I used my will to drink not God's will to take the first drink.

I have to work at a funeral home on Thursday and I am dreading every minute I have to be in this place. Why? I don't know, exactly. This is a good reason to drink though, right..Wrong, I have learned to not drink when I have no control over my life, and all has turned out ok. I can find every thing, person, or situation to drink about , but now I chose to not drink it away and face my fears. I do ask from help from God to enter each and every day. I will do the same with this place full of death. However I have to remember that all these dead people in this place I am going to are actually going somewhere better. That is what the bible says, and I try to live up to the bible and it's words. Everlasting life is what we get for choosing to be the best we can in our human world. The spiritual self lives on. So I wonder how many thousands of spirits will run through this place when I work there. I am looking at this situation as a good thing, and that these spirits that are in this place will be willing to accept me...lol...I just hate that I have to go.However this to shall pass, and I live on to my next account.

Any more people want to comment , go right ahead, it gives me a reason to write about how I am feeling about life, today. God Bless You All!!!