Showing posts with the label AA

Xanax, Panic, and the Sober Human

Funny thing about life is we live in a addicted society, whether it be illegal drugs, prescription drugs, or alcohol. There is always a potential for abuse.I am one of these people that has had panic attacks for over 30 years and used alcohol and pills and other drugs to make me feel normal. The madness has not stopped, the illegal drug use and alcohol have stopped, but I continue with Xanax. I am coming out of the closet today for a reason. I have noticed that I am having more frequent panic episodes and Im on a high dosage of Xanax and have been for years. So if you read this blog I am a recovered alcoholic , but when I sober up nine years ago I was house bound. I could not go outside the house,fear of the marketplace or agoraphobia is what I had . I worked with dr.s on a solution beside Xanax and nothing worked as usual. I am monitored by a psychiatrist and I do not abuse my medication, yet the possibility is there to abuse these. I am fortunate that I am working still and able to …

Recovering Addict and Being Normal

What is normal? That is the million dollar question. Is anyone really normal? There are so many different types of people and they have so many beliefs. I would guess normality would be a sane person that abides by most of our laws and has a job, maybe a wife and a kid, but that statement is not true either. So I do know that to walk around drunk or high during the day or night, probably is not normal but in movies, they depict this as being normal.

I believe if you are doing right by Gods way that you must be somewhat normal. Don't hurt others on purpose and abide by the ten commandments the best as you can seem like you are trying to be a good citizen and good human. If you drink that does not make you a bad person if you drink because of problems then that is normal but not a good excuse. Complicated as it may seem, I think the most of us that respect others and treat them as we would like to be treated is the best idea of being a good human and reflects a normal attitude. We a…

Prayers for Recovering Addicts Do Good

I pray every day at sunrise and sunset. I pray in the work day and sometimes I forget to pray during the day. The world is full of love and hate. I think the media is to blame and the Internet. No matter who is to blame, prayers can calm a man down when anxious or depressed. God is with me all the time and checking up on you the rest of the time. He never leaves any one of us. He is always there. Sounds like a miracle, well God is the miracle that no one can really explain in a manner where realism is concerned. You either accept the fact that there is a God and enjoy his power that he holds as his spirit runs through your body, planning out the day for you one moment at a time. I must live in the moment because I have no idea where I will be in an hour from now. God is powerful and all I need to do is look at my dog or a tree and realize the imperfections are really perfections of life as God wants them to be. I rely on God to show me the strength and keep my head cool in hot situati…

Living For Today Sober

Sometimes I get my head all confused about what I am going to be doing a few days or months ahead of myself, and I get real nervous. This is not good for your health but living for the day you are in is a good way for living. You can take daily living for what it is. You wake up , start your day with questions or prayers and then if you work you go and do the work that is assigned to you. Sounds pretty cut and dry, but what about other people that are in your life at work and at home. You have to deal with traffic and your car, also Dr. appointments and other things that go along with plain old living. Then you have the occasional surprises the good and the bad, and you learn how to deal with these once they come up.

Living day to day is not easy, for anyone, if you think about it. However if you do just a little bit of pre planning it can be a fun and enthusiastic day for you. My days vary with work as a technician and I run into many mechanical problems that I have to guess the righ…

Darkness for the Alcoholic and Drug User

I have been very busy at work and loving my job. I am making good money, probably the best I have ever made. No problems with my boss or anything, able to afford to buy a new car. I have everything, sobriety, a new car , a life. What happened. I was tempted last night to start smoking pot .

So why would I start smoking pot when all is going good? I did not think about the negative or darkness that I might be putting myself into again, its has been almost 9 years now with no drinking or drugs, then on a Saturday night, I get the urge to smoke pot. I found a person on CL and i went to meet him with 140.00 in cash to buy some Hydro Pot. I meet with this guy I don't know and he jumps in my new car and I give him the money and he dispersal He fucking ran off with my cash. Was I mad , no. That was weird, this guy just took my cash and hauled ass. I actually thought that I was buying from a guy that needed to get rid of what he had and went to his car to get my drug. I waited only …

God Loves You, Just Have To Believe, and Believe Can be Hard

To live a sober life and be productive is a challenge in itself. I don't know when I have felt so good in my life these last four months, and pray I do. I have not changed my prayers but I live with my prayers and don't expect anything in return and I'll be damned if God throws me a curve ball and what seemed doomed turns out ok. I have mentioned this many times and I have lived this many times. I think what I am trying to say is , if you really want something you have to look in the mirror and tell yourself and God it is time for a change please be with me. That is what I did 4 weeks ago and one miracle after another keeps happening. I deal with problems in a calm way, I dont stress at night or sweat the small stuff. Life has been good for me the last eight years, but I have to be careful cause I start to think well a drink sure sounds good about now. I have to say to myself I would not be in this good of a situation if I started drinking. Drinking has a lot to do with ho…

All is Good in Sobriety

It has been some time since I have posted anything, I have been too busy with my new job and traveling almost every day. Yes I even travel by plane with my work. I have beat my fear of flying sober. That is one of several miracles that has happened to me in recent weeks. I truly believe that if you follow what you think Gods plan is for you and live this plan sober , that miracles will come true. I have talked about it and lived these miracles for about eight years ow, and because I am sober I am able to remember them and tell them to you.

My higher power is God and he listens to me and answers me when its his time not mine. I am very happy right now making a goood income and living a good life. Staying sober in the months I did not have a job I stayed busy doing things that led up to me getting my job. I woke up early and looked for work just like I had a job and several weeks later i landed a good paying and family business position that I am comfortable with finally. It is not easy…

Negativity and Living Life Sober

That thing is this: Not all things that people may say or think are really about you. If someone is pretty much always negative about what other people do or
someone sometimes make personal attacks and let the destructive words flow
then - when such things are aimed at you - remember that it isn't always about
you. Such words or negative habits can be a way for that person to release pent up
anger, frustration or jealousy about something in his or her own life.  Or a way to reinforce that his or her viewpoint or belief is the right one.  Or he or she may have a habit of getting others involved emotionally - baiting
them - to build a negative spiral, an argument or fight to get attention.  It's about him or her. Not about something you did or want to do.  You may just have been in the wrong place at the wrong time. I have found that it can have a calming effect to remember this. And to remember
that the other person is still human and might be having a bad day, month,
marriage or job. This doe…

The Sinclair Method VS Alcoholics Anonymous

I was searching for a topic today and I found the Sinclair method of approach to drinking too much alcohol. I think it is a good approach to the alternative of AA. You decide what you think. Here is a few words about what The Sinclair Method is:

The Sinclair Method (TSM) uses the nervous system’s own mechanism, called “extinction”, for gradually removing the interest in alcohol and the behaviors involved in alcohol drinking. Therefore, the technical term for TSM is “pharmacological extinction.”
The key scientific discovery underlying the treatment was that, contrary to earlier beliefs, detoxification and alcohol deprivation do not stop alcohol craving but in fact increase subsequent alcohol drinking[1],[2]. The old idea that alcoholism is caused by physiological dependence on alcohol, therefore, needed to be discarded, and a new understanding of alcoholism developed.
Subsequent research showed that alcohol drinking is a learned behavior [3]. Some individuals, partly for genetic reason…

Grateful For What God Has So Freely Given Me

It is easy for me to get lost in my problems with life and forget to be grateful for those things in which God has given me. It is easy to get lost in the confusion of the day and realize that I am sober from alcohol and drugs and should be grateful that God has given me the strength to carry forward in this life. I am grateful to be able to type this at 8:00 AM on Friday morning because eight years ago I sure would of not been doing this blog. I was always hung over and to combat the hangover I would smoke a joint upon waking then the cycle of the addiction would take over my day.

I believe we all have all sorts of issues we have to deal with on a daily basis. The best way I prepare for the next day is to not expect that I will have another next day, I give it to God in prayer at night and ask him to do for me what I can't do for myself and to guide me , that is about it. Upon waking the next morning , surprise phone calls or seeing my dog wag her tail at me in enthusiasm is a wo…

July 4th,2017 A Day to Stay Sober

What better thing to do today then to stop drinking alcohol than the 4th of July, 2017? Yeah, I know it is celebration time, however, is there not a day that is celebration time? A person who is not alcoholic does not think this the day to get hammered, but a day to spend with the family and kids . An alcoholic by this time of day has already possibly had the first drink to make it through the morning shakes and jitters. The alcoholic cannot control his drinking because it is a disease like cancer. Until the alcoholic gets true help he will keep up his drinking no matter what you say, because he cannot stop on his own will. You are not to blame for the alcoholic's ways, his brain is wired differently and he just wants you to shut up about his habit and let him live his day, even though deep inside he would like to quit.

So what do you do when you have a loved one that drinks and does not stop drinking. One answer is a treatment center and yes they are free in most cities in the US…

Building Self -Confidence

I found this in my email about building up self confidence and thought it was great. So I will share it with you. Have a blessed day. Chris July 3rd 2017

1. Focus on improving just one thing or habit at a time. Spreading yourself too thin pretty much always leads to failure because life tends
to get in the way. If you have a regular life then you'll probably not have the time and energy to
change three things at once even though you really hope and think you can. 2. Find one or a few supportive voices. Your environment at this point in time may contain people who are neutral,
uninterested or discouraging to the change you want to make. A simple thing you can do to counterbalance the influence of those people is
to spend time with people who are supportive and may even have made the
change you want to make. If you do not know any such people in real life or there is not a local club you can
join then add supportive voices from people elsewhere. You can find them in books written last year or 200…

Sobriety and Stress Toys

Ive noticed recently that the marketing media has pushed this year not the iphone versions and the types of television you need to have . Yet the idea that I need to buy a spinner or a Infinity stress cube is one of my answers to stress. Is the whole world just messed up on insanity items. It would seem like sobriety and giving your sobriety to God would be stressful to some I would imagine. These gimmicks give all the indications of how they will help you with your mood and feeling less ADD or give them to your kids and watch them turn them into just what they are, which are mindless toys. I know I had to buy a spinner because I wanted to feel less stress. In my opinion it just keeps my fingers busy. Kind of like typing on a laptop keyboard like I am doing now, keeps me from having idle hands.
I write about the "idle hand ", syndrome for alcoholics in one of my blogs. It basically means that when your hands are idle that you might be in for some trouble with wanting a drink…

"The Habit" Of Your Life and Mine

I found this in my email and I thought I would share it with those who struggle feeling good during the day at times. I hope you enjoy it. Chris 6/28/2017

The habit? To simply take 2 minutes at the end of your day to appreciate yourself. To think
back and to celebrate the small and bigger positive things you have done today. It could be that you listened to your friend when she really needed to vent today.

Or took the first small step with something you have been procrastinating on for
too long. Or that you got up from the comfy couch and went out for a run or into the gym to
get stronger. It could be that you were kind in a situation where it would have
been so easy to be judgmental and to derive pleasure from that. It could be things you may often take for granted in your everyday life. Like doing
the dishes. Or washing the dirty clothes. Or cooking a healthy and tasty dinner. A few questions that can help you to start finding things to appreciate about
yourself today are: What is one small thing…

Living Sober and "The act of normality"

What is a normal person? This question is one in which I think has several different possibilities. Is an alcoholic a normal person? Could be , depends how you look at society. Society has a lot of people who drink alcohol. If you ask me , I think most people drink alcohol, I just assume this as normal. Also in reality I think there are a lot of problems with these people who continue to drink and their everyday lives. Alcohol, can really taste good but can it really improve yourself? I think it can temporarily make a person think he is better than he is and possibly think he is on top of the world and or some type of God. However that is my perception of the world. Or should I say the USA. The United States probably has more alcoholics than any other country.
Normal is a word for people who appear to have their act together with family, wealth and finances and perfect marriages, which we know is not true. If we were all so called normal then we would have no problems and life would h…

Service Work For AA Chair a Meeting

I have been volunteered to chair meetings for my home group in Midland, Texas for Monday nights. I use to chair quite a bit back a few years ago, and I have time to do it now. It is always interesting to see who comes to my meetings and how a short topic can sometimes draw such a large response. There are some who come in that have never been to a AA meeting and you have to make them feel welcome, and I try to do this, but then their are the regular ones that show up every night we have meetings, and then there are the court appointed people that come because they have to..It is always a little strange taking the lead of a AA meeting because all eyes are on you. Some look up to you others judge you , and that is just life. I am not much of a talker except when it comes to the solution and I can't quote phrases from the Big Book, but I don't give a damn. I am not that hard core into memorizing something that I carry on me into meetings. It does give me something useful to do on…

Sobriety and The Family

Well, I celebrated with my AA friends and my family my eight years of sobriety the other night at my AA group. It was nice, and words when I spoke just seem to come from the spirit inside me out to those in attendance. It was a a good night as my mother came to this event. There was a older fellow there who had 22 years of sobriety , which made it even better. The family suffers from the turmoil and crap you or I put them through in the years when I was in my addiction. When they have seen you have some consistency with being sober, it just becomes normal for them, as they do not know how you might be struggling with living sober now. That is why I go to AA, is how to learn life on life's terms not mine. To live a life where God is the only way and direction to head. Follow what the spirit of God tells you to do and try to stay on track during the day and things will go better.

The family is grateful that you are sober when you get some time behind your belt. They laugh with you a…

Enjoy Your Kids Sober

I am very blessed with a fine young man that is my son. He does not live with myself , but he is 23 also. He is so very special even from day one. He was and is a quite young man and handsome , he does not smoke or drink , and never has done drugs or even said a cuss word for all I know. Almost incredible , I know. He is my Angel from God , and I do worry about him as he isolates himself because he has Autism or some form of this , and he is a happy guy at least. He lives with his mom and her husband , which I am glad he does, as I worry about his down time. They seem to keep a good eye out for him. He is one of the major reasons I got sober and it was to do with court and my ex wife. But time passes and he grew up with a dad that has always loved him. He never has let me down, which I cannot say about myself. I let my parents down all the time for over thirty years. I only cared about what Chris could get out of them. I was not responsible and even being a sober man of my age , stll …

2017 , A Year that Has Been Different

2017, started off on a whim of a year for me. I met a girl on the first day of this year and we dated and it ended as quickly as it started,. So life goes on, but I have had a hard time finding a job I am qualified for, with so many descriptions of what I do , it makes me wonder , how things will turn out. Being alcoholic and staying sober for eight years has been fairly easy , but my life gets a little more crazy at times. I do have a new job so I am thankful , and I plan to stick with it. I guess I feel I am better than the work that I find at times, but for almost 30 years of continuous drinking and smoking pot and then getting sober , what can I say.I celebrate my AA Birthday this week with my friends at the 12 Step group in Midland, Texas, and that is always good. The story pretty much stays the same but the years events always change just like if one was sober, so nothing really new here.

I guess you could say I am very blessed to have both of my parents alive. My brother and si…

Sober and What Becomes when We stay Sober

I have a lot on my plate lately, but it has been good and different. Lost my step father, however , I know he is with God. I am
not sad, just motivated to start my life on a new turn.I have been lookig for another job, as the one I have is not what I like to do. I have prayed about this daily and my prayers are coming true. I have had a few consultants call me on jobs that I like to do. Times in Midland are booming again with the oil field picking up and that brings in more business and retail shops, plus high prices.I will take advantage of the time I have and focus on the reality of being sober and alive. At times , I feel really lonely but then I get a glimpse of how lucky and fortunate I have in my life. I am thankful that I am not in a wheel chair , I am thankful I have some money, and food, plus a house that has musical instruments for me to pass the time, and hopefully get better.I have more than I deserve in material things, and yes most of it has been put o credit cards, so …