Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Living Sober and "The act of normality"

What is a normal person? This question is one in which I think has several different possibilities. Is an alcoholic a normal person? Could be , depends how you look at society. Society has a lot of people who drink alcohol. If you ask me , I think most people drink alcohol, I just assume this as normal. Also in reality I think there are a lot of problems with these people who continue to drink and their everyday lives. Alcohol, can really taste good but can it really improve yourself? I think it can temporarily make a person think he is better than he is and possibly think he is on top of the world and or some type of God. However that is my perception of the world. Or should I say the USA. The United States probably has more alcoholics than any other country.
Normal is a word for people who appear to have their act together with family, wealth and finances and perfect marriages, which we know is not true. If we were all so called normal then we would have no problems and life would have a lot of rose colored cheeks on peoples faces with big smiles. I don't see that every where, but I do see it at times. To be normal is to be your self , the good and the bad, hopefully the bad will go away if you want it to or will it to.

In the dictionary "Normal" means, " conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.", so I guess I am normal and maybe you are also. We just have problems which are normal as well. 

Some people are above the normal state , in money and in their living habits, we all want something we don't have. Try to be happy with your normaily and being a recovering alcoholic is perfectly a normal state of being.Chris 

Monday, June 12, 2017

Service Work For AA Chair a Meeting

I have been volunteered to chair meetings for my home group in Midland, Texas for Monday nights. I use to chair quite a bit back a few years ago, and I have time to do it now. It is always interesting to see who comes to my meetings and how a short topic can sometimes draw such a large response. There are some who come in that have never been to a AA meeting and you have to make them feel welcome, and I try to do this, but then their are the regular ones that show up every night we have meetings, and then there are the court appointed people that come because they have to..It is always a little strange taking the lead of a AA meeting because all eyes are on you. Some look up to you others judge you , and that is just life. I am not much of a talker except when it comes to the solution and I can't quote phrases from the Big Book, but I don't give a damn. I am not that hard core into memorizing something that I carry on me into meetings. It does give me something useful to do on a Monday night so be it. I will run a discussion group talking about anything alcohol or drug related, and I will gritt my teeth and wish I was not there at times. It is all about being a par tof the solution so if you get a chance , chair a meeting every once in a while. I have changed a few people thoughts and they recognize me at other meetings and this is the big pay off for me. I actually help some people out , and that is what AA and staying sober , doing service work is all about. Chris

Friday, June 9, 2017

Sobriety and The Family

Well, I celebrated with my AA friends and my family my eight years of sobriety the other night at my AA group. It was nice, and words when I spoke just seem to come from the spirit inside me out to those in attendance. It was a a good night as my mother came to this event. There was a older fellow there who had 22 years of sobriety , which made it even better. The family suffers from the turmoil and crap you or I put them through in the years when I was in my addiction. When they have seen you have some consistency with being sober, it just becomes normal for them, as they do not know how you might be struggling with living sober now. That is why I go to AA, is how to learn life on life's terms not mine. To live a life where God is the only way and direction to head. Follow what the spirit of God tells you to do and try to stay on track during the day and things will go better.

The family is grateful that you are sober when you get some time behind your belt. They laugh with you and most of the time the past will stay in the past. However , this is not always true. The reason for going to AA is for dealing with these issues in which we cannot get away from in our past and to live in the now, or present.The family will become more and more trusting as time goes by day from day, it does take a while for them to come around, but eventually they see my changes and then treat me accordingly to these positive new mental attitudes I may now have in life. I get a little bit crazy sometimes and lonely because I am a recovering alcoholic, but that just means I am not doing something constructive with my time or I need a meeting or to talk with my sponsor about what is bothering me. Use your sponsor , that is what he is there for. Have a great Day. Chris

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Eight Years Sober Birthday Party Tonight

Well I have eight years as of last month and my AA group will be celebrating this tonight at the 12 Step group in Midland Texas at 7:30PM. Please feel free to come if you like, free cake afterwards by my sponsor who always takes care of everything when birthdays are celebrated at the club. I try to think of something different every year to talk about,. Last year i even made notes but I kept repeating myself, so this year I think I will just speak from my heart and will not take more than about 15 minutes, because the way I look at it is it's just one more year without drinking. A no brainer, no struggle with alcohol, just living life is hard enough without the alcohol.

My Mother who will turn 80 this year is showing up minus her husband whom passed away a few weeks ago. I am very proud to have her come see me get this medallion of sobriety. She and I were always at each others throats when I was drinking, I was always disrespectful, and she was right in my face, because i deserved it. Somehow over all these 54 years she has maintained her love and dignity towards me and I must say she is very proud of me for the length of my sobriety and the person I have become. She is one strong and beautiful woman for 80 years old, you would not even think she was this old in looking at her, she is still very youthful.
Back to the basis for this blog , this is my diary and I make no money off this blog, I hope to look
back when I get older and see where I grew and where i did not. Therefor , I write this to myself and you are more than welcome to offer your opinions and ad me to your reading list if you like. Have a Good Day. Chris

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Enjoy Your Kids Sober

I am very blessed with a fine young man that is my son. He does not live with myself , but he is 23 also. He is so very special even from day one. He was and is a quite young man and handsome , he does not smoke or drink , and never has done drugs or even said a cuss word for all I know. Almost incredible , I know. He is my Angel from God , and I do worry about him as he isolates himself because he has Autism or some form of this , and he is a happy guy at least. He lives with his mom and her husband , which I am glad he does, as I worry about his down time. They seem to keep a good eye out for him. He is one of the major reasons I got sober and it was to do with court and my ex wife. But time passes and he grew up with a dad that has always loved him. He never has let me down, which I cannot say about myself. I let my parents down all the time for over thirty years. I only cared about what Chris could get out of them. I was not responsible and even being a sober man of my age , stll have problems with responsibility issues, with a lot of issues in that fact.

AA has helped me get a grip on life, as I don't push AA on people, this is a very private thing , however I do make it known at times, because I want to. I live each day grateful that I have what I do , such as my son. If I had a son that was like me growing up , I could not afford to get him out of trouble like I was. I never hurt anyone on purpose, but that is what alcoholics do, and don't realize, is we hurt the ones we love the most. This thought never even hit my head until I sobered up. My son , thank God, never saw me in a state of being drunk , because I did not want him to see me this way. He was and still to an extent a little bit in awe about what alcohol and drugs have done to me. He ask questions and I tell him the truth. However he loves me and lately I see more of him because he wants to see me. This has recently been the case. He drives over and sometimes we just don't know what to do with each other. We sit in quite and peace and maybe that is what he likes when he comes over. I don't want to bore him, yet I isolate myself pretty good , and I am still working on this. In a town such as Midland , the number one thing to do is go to nightclubs for the single set. I have not even stepped into a bar in over eight years, as I know this is not for me. I stay home and watch TV or get on the computer and browse for sport cars I can't afford. I always stay busy doing something that is beneficial to my brain or just resting on occasion.It is hard to really know what the real normal people do in their lives. I seem to think I might be acting like one now. They don't sit around and drink theirs elves into oblivion like i use to and light up a joint and watch TV. I did this for so many years that eight years of not doing this has thrown me off. I am working at this however, slowly but surely I am regaining a little bit of sense to my life.
God makes sure that we live in the moment, and this is difficult at times and God loves you and me. The future I try to let God inform me, but this is difficult as I am the one who acts on my feelings. I pray and pray, but I am not struggling with a alcohol problem now, it is just a living problem. I guess this is just life.Have a good Night. Chris Hyer

Monday, June 5, 2017

2017 , A Year that Has Been Different

2017, started off on a whim of a year for me. I met a girl on the first day of this year and we dated and it ended as quickly as it started,. So life goes on, but I have had a hard time finding a job I am qualified for, with so many descriptions of what I do , it makes me wonder , how things will turn out. Being alcoholic and staying sober for eight years has been fairly easy , but my life gets a little more crazy at times. I do have a new job so I am thankful , and I plan to stick with it. I guess I feel I am better than the work that I find at times, but for almost 30 years of continuous drinking and smoking pot and then getting sober , what can I say.I celebrate my AA Birthday this week with my friends at the 12 Step group in Midland, Texas, and that is always good. The story pretty much stays the same but the years events always change just like if one was sober, so nothing really new here.

I guess you could say I am very blessed to have both of my parents alive. My brother and sister and I do have a son that I love very much. I have to think of all the good that has happened in my life, and try to forget most of the past or at least know what not to do , so I don't ever have to start over in AA again. This is the longest I have stayed sober ever. I should pat myself on the back. The daily life problems are there , but it is learning how to deal with them which is the trick to staying sober.I hear about all the addictions out on the news and I am glad that I am not dealing with this right now, and very much thank God for what he has given me a second or third chance to make my life better. Have a good day. Chris

Friday, May 19, 2017

Social Anxiety and staying Sober

I found this article in my email and I found it o be true about anxiety and people's perception and reality about anxiety. I hope you enjoy this article. Chris

The Three Steps to Dealing with Social Anxiety

At this point we established that trying to avoid or get rid of the feeling of social anxiety usually backfires. It leads to more social anxiety in the long run and you end up restricting your life and ridding it of all meaning and fun.
So here are three steps (backed up by decades of studies) that actually work:

STEP 1: ACCEPT YOUR ANXIETY

Social anxiety is not the enemy. It’s a feeling. A primal “warning” signal from your body to keep you from danger. Problem is, it was designed to keep you safe from wild animals and falling rocks, not strangers and pretty girls.
So when you notice anxiety coming up, together with all the negative thoughts, feelings, and sensations, sit with it. Don’t push it away, or change it in any way. Instead, let it be there, and really experience what it’s like to feel the fear.
Observe it like a curious scientist, without putting any judgment on it. You don’t have to like the fear, but you can learn to accept and embrace it as it is.
Notice where in your body you can feel it the most. What happens when you take a deep breath? When you hold eye contact with a stranger, does the fear get stronger? Stand up straight and lift your head up. What happens then?
Don’t try to change what you feel. Simply notice what happens. Instead of pushing the anxiety away, observe what’s going on. This trains your mind that anxiety in social situations is not something that needs to be avoided.

STEP 2: DO WHAT YOU DEEPLY CARE ABOUT

We usually feel the most vulnerable and the most anxious in the areas we value most in life.
I’ve never met a socially anxious person who didn’t care about having friends or connecting with people.
Instead of fighting anxiety, let anxiety be your guide towards what you care about most. There’s a good chance that situations where you get the most nervous, are the ones that matter most to you.
Being aware of this makes it easier to face your fears. One question we often ask our coaching clients is:
What are the things that are so important to you that you’re willing to feel anxious or nervous to experience them?
Think about it like this. When you are on your deathbed, do you want to look back on a life where you haven’t felt any anxiety, you never felt awkward, and you were always comfortable — but you also never really went all in, you missed out on parties, and never talked to the attractive stranger on your way home?
The other option is to look back on a life where you often felt nervous, anxious, and insecure — but it was a life filled with adventures, parties, random encounters with strangers, and deep connections.
So take a minute and really reflect on this:
What is so important to experience that you’re willing to feel a little anxious?

STEP 3: CONFRONT YOUR FEAR

This is the hardest part, but it’s also the most important one.
It might mean walking up to a pretty girl. It might mean talking to people you don’t know at a party. Or it might mean smiling at the cashier, asking your boss for a raise, or speaking up at a meeting.
There’s no easy way around it, and there are definitively no shortcuts. Be willing to feel the fear and do what matters most to you.
However, know that you don’t have to start with the scariest scenario. You can create a fear hierarchy, jotting down what scares you, and then start tackling the least scary item (e.g., saying “Hi” to a stranger) and working your way up to scarier tasks (e.g., asking a girl for her number).
The more often you face your fears, the better you’ll get at it.