My Name Is Chris and I am a Alcoholic

 Damn not use to this blogger interface. Hi , hope all is well with you today or tonight. My name is Chris Hyer an I write a diary on my drinking over the years of sobriety. That would be 11 going on 12 years  of no alcohol.One day at a time. Yes that is really true, they have been trying times. There have been problems along the way, but nothing that God could not heal.

Not a one thing in 11 years has God let me down. I have felt like I have let God down over the years . To quit drinking is where you start. That is the hardest part of this program. Is to quit doing something that makes you feel good , but then it kills your internal organs and we cannot drink as much as we would like. Given one might possibly have 20 drinks , that old saying has been going around AA for years and I do not agree totally with it. Just take it one Evening ,morning, whenever you drink try not to. IT will not work, unless you have done this many times then who knows.

 

I thought for sure that Covid would do it for me and my sobriety, but no I am confused about this virus and how it attacks, and it is a killer.This is time for high anxiety for me, and your damn right I take a Xanax for this trouble the China government gave to the World a deadly and scary ass show of power that we seem to not display at certain points in our government. Back to stopping that one drink, try not to go to the store you usaually buy beer or liquor and go by a Coke at another store. This is your safe zone, you just beat a beer. Now get your ass to a AA Meeting..lol             

Casino Closed & Virus Drinking

Ok this is going to really piss a few people off, maybe not. Im alcoholic and sick minded anyway however sober and grateful. The Virus, man, we are going to have to listen about this for the rest of our lives. Very hard hitting virus this is,I have been blessed healthy during this time. I take pre cautions at times then at other times I for get this whole thing is going on.

So is there anything about drinking when a fucking vrus that wipes out thousands of people who are just like you and I. Young and old, hell I think this is a great reason to drink and then I feel honestly if I started drinking again I would have to quit again or I die. So I only have one option. That is to not drink and I have suffered a little bit and I just got 11 years as of this month, and I feel a little uncomfy about my sobriety right now. That is why I am writing, just to get this out of my mind.

I bet a lot of people went back to drinking in AA because there are a few that use the AA group as thier way of staying sober. I find I like the meetings but not all the time, but it does feel good to go. Oh well I will check back and send me your thoughts. Smile God is?

Nine years of Sobriety and 5 Months of CBD Buds

Like I have said before I write this journal or blog for myself. I am not trying to impress anyone or tell my whole life story. Recently for the past five or six months, I have been trying CBD , which if you do not know what it is let me explain.
CBD from Hemp is what I was smoking, it does not get a person high but it does have healing properties for much medical use. Now, what medical use did I use it for was anxiety or panic? I will say that I tried Vaping CBD, and I thought it did nothing. Then I found out you could buy this like Marijuana flowers or buds. I purchased the Buds legally at a Vape store in my city. I rolled up Hemp cigarettes and smoked a few hits over the span of the last few months. The funny thing is I felt like it was helping me with Panic and possibly was, or was it just that I missed the taste of real pot and the smell and buds were beautiful. The only problem is CBD is not regulated nor is specified what type of Nutrient, Hemp can be, plus the negative bonus of having .03% THC in Hemp plants can cause a false positive on a drug test.

Well, how the hell can they sell stuff like CBD and my city law is not doing anything about it, yet a federal law says it is legal but also illegal at the same time. I decided to completely stop smoking Hemp Buds the other day. They were not bothering me , however I did not want to start another addiction to a Nutrient, Drug, or whatever it is that is being sold all over the USA in disguise and too many questions of the legal authority to use or not use this CBD is not clear yet in Texas and many other states.

I will say I did not drink with my use but I am not sure where this may fit into my sobriety for nine years. Did I blow it by smoking Hemp? I am not sure, but I am thinking, No. It is my life and I got no high but I was curious and tried this as a medicine for my panic attacks.I do not think I can judge others for trying CBD as I have read everything good about it except for the .03% THC that might cause you to fail a drug test. Very confusing, any answers to this would be appreciated. Have a good day. Chris

Saying Thank You for Sobriety

I get caught up in myself and I need to remember to say Thank You, to those who have to listen to my bullshit and even read my blog. This blog makes no money, and I never set out to make any money from it. This is just a way I can get matters off my chest and remember what I have done stupid and smart. I have a lot of problems in my sobriety but I am sober. That was my main goal, right. I still dabble in stuff I should keep my nose out of, but I am not perfect and I am interested in the health as Americans are of the age of CBD and Marijuana Legalization. Pretty darn confusing, and maybe it is meant to be this way. I am in my mid-50s and I knew that Marijuana would be legalized when I reached this age, I really did but it seems like our country is split on politics and now states are separate from the Federal government. Just crazy shit like this could make a person want to get loaded. However AA is still around and my feelings towards alcohol are yes, it is there, so fucking what. I do not participate in alcohol drinking and I have my reasons as I am sure you have yours. My life has been better without it, my social life still sucks but maybe that is just me.

I have not written in a while and I am going through another job change, and getting kind of old at that..lol However I am still able to walk and talk and my family loves me, which is what matters. I am sure if you are sober or even a drunk someone loves you very much, hell I love you and I don't even know you, but you're
on my blog so you must care about what is within these notes. So Thank You. Chris

Mothers Day Stay Sober Today May 13th 2018

It's Mothers Day and one thing I can do is stay sober 24 hours for my self and my Mother who has put up

 with me and my crap for so long. My mother is still living and age 81 and she is in good spirits and health and looks much younger, however, I can see the age starting to change in her. I am 55 myself, so I am very blessed to have my mom around and living and she is still wanting to love me and be around me. What a woman I can say that no one compares to my mom, and you can probably say the same about your mom. If you drink, just for today try not to drink around your mother, 24 hours, just one day. I know how hard it can be, but it might be a start for you to have eternal life granted back into your soul.

God grants us the serenity to move on with our lives and even when we make mistakes he grants those mistakes and if you ask for forgiveness, that will be granted also. How do I know, because I am a sinner and I make bad choices every day, I try not to make decisions that will blow up in my face, but I do. Then a miracle of some sort comes into my life whether it be a job or a person I love, and that is the reward for asking for forgiveness. Please check this site out,   http://chrchunltd.churchonline.org/

I think you will be surprised at what you find. God Bless the Moms out in the world. Chris

Moving on with a Sober Life

Well, I have hit a few hurdles in my last few post on this blog. I am back on my medication, as it works and I can function. Be careful what others say to you and about your life. You are the only one living in your own body and you know what works and what does not. Alcohol does not seem to work in any one soul out there that can drink to oblivion. Treatment is a must for the first time alcoholic who suffers and it is usually a good thing for those who are not familiar with the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. If you drink and you are out of control, please seek help, and try to stick with meetings and work the 12 steps of AA as fast as you can in recovery. This will get you feeling better in the long run and will get you familiar with the steps in your life and how they will change your life. By the grace of God , I am still sober even after putting myself through hell, on getting off the medication I am taking, but I am taking it as prescribed and feel like it must be the correct medication as I feel normal now. We all have some emotional or depression in our lives when we sober up. There is a reason why we drank, and although drinking is a disease there are underlying reasons why we drank. Talk to a Doctor and find out these reasons or maybe working the 12 steps you will find a little part of yourself that you can work on to make you happier and not so gloom.

Panic runs deep into my family, my father has it and he still drinks and my son has it and he takes medication as I do for to control the panic. It is a mental disorder that I have and my son has, and it must run in the genes. I cannot control this as I have tried ever since I was a 16 year old boy. I drank alcohol because of my panic attacks, as it was a sedative and kept me calm. I was not a rowdy drunk but I drank on a daily basis so I could get out of my house and try to be normal. I had to come to terms with my Panic Disorder and realize that I needed outside help from a Doctor and I sought this help. Many people in AA frown upon what I am doing but let them frown as I need to socialize and be as normal as most people out there in the world and function . If you have panic disorder, please send me a note and tell me about it. I would appreciate this very much. Thank You Chris Hyer 4/2/2017

Sober Weekend and Yourself

Today I would like to share one of my favorite thoughts on self-improvement.

 

This short thought comes from Nathaniel Branden's book The Six Pillars of
Self-Esteem and it simply goes like this: 

 

"No one is coming".

 

Short. But it has been a powerful and sobering reminder for me.

 

Because yes, you can look for the next big thing that will fix you. 

 

Read more blog articles. Read more personal development books. Look for people
to help you. 

 

And yes, some articles, books, products or people will give you support and
insights that resonate deeply with you and that you can put into practice. 

 

But in the end, if you are an adult then no one is coming. No one is coming to save
you. You have to take responsibility for your own life and what happens in it.
Other things and people can certainly aid you quite a bit. But you are responsible.

 

You can go around blaming society or some people for your problems in your
social life. Or finances. Or health. You can always find scapegoats to judge to feel
better about yourself. You can look for people that will "fix you". You can do this
for the rest of your life if you like. It won't change much. Whatever has to be done,
it's you who have to take responsibility and do it.

 

Yeah, things might always not go your way. You'll fall and stumble and you will

probably have bad luck from time to time.

 

But you still have to focus on yourself and on doing what you can do with what you
have in whatever situation that may arise in your world.

In sobriety we are the one who is responsible for completing Step 1 completely or we fail over and over again.

To move onto the other 11 Steps , first you have to accomplish the first step on your own.

You can do this, however only by yourself. No one can keep you from drinking.

 

Have a wonderful weekend!

Accepting God Into Your Life Sober or Not

I know this is a strange heading I am writing about . However it is true that if we just acept Jesus into our lives , we will all go to heaven. Now some religions such as Mormons do not believe in this simple act, which is fine. I am not teaching religion on this blog, this blog is about saving lives through knowing a spirit greater than your self , named God. God and Jesus are the same. God is not man and Jesus is the spiritual advisory for God. If you are sober you have come to believe in a power greater than yourself, if your in AA, you know this spirit must be God or Jesus. Once you take the simple step and invite Jesus into your life, you will go to heaven. Period.

I don't know about you but when I die I want to go to heaven. I don't know what Hell is but I have a feeling I have visited Hell many times while I was in my addiction. Maybe you have felt this way also. It is enough to convince me that there is a loving God who can take away my sins and forgive me and help me to stay sober if I just ask for this act. Simple as it may sound , we find all the wrong answers to sobriety, maybe we think we can handle one more drink, maybe just one more pill. In some instances this may be true, but rare for us who have been diagnosed as alcoholic, and the AA book is a spiritual book with a chapter for Agnostics , so maybe some relief for those who have a hard time believing in a higher power such as God can come to rest with their alternative solution. I am here to say that God has blessed me with sobriety because I ask for it. I have not had a alcoholic drink in over 7 years which does not mean one thing except that the obsession to drink was taken away from a power greater than myself. That power is known to me as the spirit of God.

I hope who reads this understated the power of God in the steps of AA are not just writings on the wall or in the Big Book, we do have to take action and for go our old ways and develop new ways of living in the world as we are living. Understanding a God can be confusing with all the hate in the world, but I do know i sin every single day, and I ask for forgiveness in the day or evening for my sins. I have had miracles that have come true and spiritual experiences that would blow your mind. Is staying sober worth it? Yes, it is when I have so much going for me and sometimes I take this for granted. I forget God when things are going good and times, and when they are going bad I pray to God to make a wrong decision I have made into a right one to pleasure God.

To be honest I probably pray more now than ever. Maybe that is why when I am weak I do not think about alcohol, when I am strong and happy , I do not think about alcohol. There has to be a power that is informing me in some manner that drinking is not my answer. This is just a small part of living is the drinking. But it is big enough to kill a person who goes out and re-tries drinking . I have lost three people who are my age this month from drinking or drugs. They tried AA and they tried the program, but how much of a relationship did they have with their God? Happy Sunday. Chris Hyer

Positive Affirmations with sober Living and Life

Living a positive outlook on life can be a challenge for myself. There is so much negativity around me and in the world. Staying positive in a daily living situation as most alcoholics have to live from day to day is not easy. Waking up , is when I start to look into the mirror
and be blessed that I am not crippled and I am semi-good looking and that I smell clean is a positive role for me on most mornings. I read the bible for positive information to help with my day. I don't do this everyday, and beware of people wanting you to get negative with them. They are in AA and everywhere that you might work, ready to bring you down, not on purpose but so they may feel good about themselves.

If your sober you have taken steps to make sure you can get by the day without a drink. That is very positive in sober living. Therefor , pat yourself on the back that you have made it to this point. There are so many that can not get past this point in thier lives and end up you know where.

Today is a sun shiny day with squirrels running the fence and my puppy chasing the varmets from one end of a tree to the other end of the fence. They are playing and enjoying life as God had intended for us to be. Happy , joyous , and free. We only have today for 24 hours, do a kind deed for another, buy them lunch or a stranger lunch, and see what happens. It is a miracle how this person will react and it shows Gods faith in God above. God watches every move we make, in fact he knows what we will do next. God knows what is going to happen in the next 24 hours ahead so don't over think this as I have, it will add confusion. You only can live one day at a time. Live today as it was your last and think if it was your last day how you would want to behave.God is working a miracle with me , and sometimes I refuse to see it. Please don't be as stubborn as I am .. Chris Hyer

God, Living, Death, and Sobriety

Recently my father lost his wife to a disease and even though we all knew her time had come, reality sets in after a while. My father has not changed, in fact he may be even more bitter about things in life. He is too hard to read. He is alcoholic and it is hard for me to understand when he is down because he is not drinking or if he is always negative like when I grew up. Anyway , the death has not really affected me, as I loved this lady but she was in great pain. I would rather die than live in pain. However I have mental pain and I sure have been praying for God to take my life over and make it tolerable. I refuse to drink over my insecurities, and I refuse to do anything stupid. I think this giving it to God stuff actually works, or it has with me.

I am a loner in the seance that I go to AA meetings to live life, then I try to stay occupied by my Uber driving while I wait and see about future opportunities come. I have hit the computer hard with Resumes and I am getting feedback, but it has been almost 5 months without a steady job. This bothers me and I even have stooped down to convenience stores cause they are always hiring, well no the case with me. It seems the easier the job , the harder it is for me to get hired, yet a computer position or IT position is quite virtually easier for me to get into. Maybe because of my background, I just don't know. I have had a few bites on a couple of jobs I am waiting to hear back from and have gotten off the couch to drive as this keeps my mind occupied and I make a little money .

I have to have help with my bills from my family and I know they are tired of this. I feel like all I am is a job seeking fool. I am not being picky now, as the time has been rolling on. However if I look back seven years ago , I would of just drank my problems away and that is the only difference with me at this point in my life is that I have stayed sober. I hold onto every penny I have and do not waste money . Sobriety is the key with God on my side, and I do believe he is on my side or I could not keep my head high, as the night falls I get restless and anxious about bedtime and the worying I do before I sleep. I try to giv that to God also and it works if I think about it. God is doing for me what I cannot do for myself, He is telling me I am worth a damn in this world, even though I get depressed at times and try to watch comedies at night that are easy to swallow and maybe make me laugh. Laughing is hard, and my relationship with my family is all about work and money. I just pray that soon all will be ok, and the job crisis will end and the borrowing of money will stop , so I can live life as I expect it to be lived. Have a good day for we not know what the next will bring, and this is so true. Chris Hyer

Thanksgiving and What it Means To Sober Alcoholics

Thanksgiving is a time spent with family to get together and enjoy each others company. My family is split , so it usually means having to drive to two towns and celebrating with my Mother and my Father. This is difficult and I spend most fo the day going between homes than I do actually staying there and relaxing. My family is always on the go , so relaxing is something that rarely happens for me, as I am always on my toes trying to pleasure whom I am with.
As an alcoholic , there is seldom any drinking going on at either house for fear that I might want to indulge, this has been going on for years. I really don't pay much attention to this but when I leave they pop open the liquor at my fathers house, SO am I in the way? I don't care really they should not invite me if they did not want me to come. Putting up the liquor is ridiculous as I have no desire to drink it any way. People do not understand an alcoholic can got o the store at anytime and buy the drink of their choice in the morning , afternoon or late at night. Just be cause it is a holiday does not mean I am going to drink or not drink. Relatives are only trying to help, I understand, but in a way, they hinder the relationship. Let them be what they are, and if stuck ina situation where liquor is being a part of Thanksgiving and it gets in your mind, just leave and make a excuse.

SO enjoy your family as we all need them in our lives, do not cause a problem at these gatherings and leave if you decide it is time. It is only one day and you have 364 other days to work with in your sobriety. Personally , I don't think of the Holidays as much anymore, and every holiday is not a drinking day, it was everyday when I was drinking some eight years ago.

So go out and eat with your family if you have one, if not find one at a free meal place and help out. That is doing 12 step work even if everybody is sober, you are helping others who cannot help themselves. I might as well do some volunteer
work myself at Thanksgiving, it would give me an excuse to get out of traveling to please everybody in my family. Chris Hyer

Weight Loss With Sobriety, This is what I Did!!!

Hi , my name is Chris and I am a alcoholic that has recovered. I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes only 3-4 weeks ago. I am a 53 yr old male , that had let hamburgers and french fries rule my life. In fact anything I could get my hands on to eat and drink was making me fatter as the days went on. I really did not care until I was diagnosed with Diabetes. I have known many friends with Diabetes and thought not much about this disorder, but I was told I needed to lose weight by my Doctor.

That very day, I found a gym and threw out my chocolate cookie dough ice cream and all the junk food in my refrigerator and changed my life again. This is what I do on a daily basis and have lost 17 lbs in 3-4 weeks : This is not a diet plan I say works for every one but it does for me, so I thought as a fellow alcoholic I would share this simple plan that has made me lighter and more fulfilled as I continue to lose weight.

The first thing I did was enroll in a gym at 24.99 a month for 24 hr access. All I wanted to do was lose weight not gain muscles. I walk on the treadmill for 10 min. now and beef this up at least two minutes everyday. I also ride a bike inside and do this for 15 min. a day and beef this up as I feel like it, so in all I spend about 20 min to 25 min. in the gym. Then I drink a lot of water. Water every day in the morning at noon and at night, I over dose on water.

Breakfast , I eat Greek low-fat Yogurt and a Banana and then at lunch I drink a Boost chocolate drink and eat Almonds to fill me up. At night I have a Pork chop and Spinach with dressing or some type of fish like shrimp and vegetables and lots of fruit. I eat fruit all day long. I also eat Jerky when I get a craving and it fulfills me and I am satisfied . These are just different habits I have made in my life and I see the results each day as I weigh myself.

Changes have to happen when you want results from a job, or relationship or losing weight. Alcoholics have to change to cut out drinking and accept the way they live which is a different way in which they lived when they drank. Losing weight or having to change is quite normal for the recovering alcoholic because our lives change on a continuous circle of years.

If it is a positive change you will reap the rewards, I am figuring this out. Negative thinking has to go out the door with alcoholics and replaced with positive thinking when we want to accomplish our personal goals. Is this selfish, yes it can be , to make yourself a better person. That is why staying sober is so important to our everyday living and saying prayers to God to help us have the courage to change our ways for the better. I hope this might help someone, but like I say all the time this is my journal and I am just keeping track of my changes. Have a Great Day! Chris Hyer

Changing Your Sobriety With Changing Yourself

It is Sunday 9/25/2016 and I woke up early as usual and in my mind, I knew that working out at the Gym this morning was going to start my day. I get confused do I want to take a shower and then sweat it out or get sweaty then take a shower. So many things run through my head on something this simple. Yes, I look forward to going to the gym now. I have only been there three days now and I feel really good about what I am doing for my body. I even feel a little bit of tightness in my stomach as if I am gaining  strength. I have not worked out in over 30 years, so this little feat of me going to the gym and working out is a new change in my sobriety and it is a good change. WHen you better yourself , it seems to pay off by making me feel like I have accomplished something that God wants in my life. When my new job starts , I am going to have to figure out how I am going to work in the workouts as I am committed to losing weight, mostly.

I am a big guy anyway and that is cool, but I don't want the belly of a big guy. So I mostly run and ride the cycle in the gym. I burn calories and two weeks ago I started eating right. I cheat on eating , a bit but I have cut back on chocolates and other junk that I know has caused me to gain so much weight. The good thing about change and sobriety is that I am not the only one trying to change. At first I did not want to go to the gym cause I have a phobia about all these buff men working out and her comes fatty, then I just made my mind up and went and realized I was smaller than most in the gym,. I psyche myself out at times and think I am the only one. I am wrong, as the re are several thousands of alcoholics that I am sure are working the program or at least trying to work it. That is what change is , it is trying and not talking yourself out of this change in which sobriety is all about is change for the better. Cod Bless. Chris Hyer

Sobriety and Living with the Power of God

I live with the power of God every day. That does not mean every day is going to be perfect, and by far this is not true. It means for me to stay sober, I have to hand over a lot of what is on my mind to God.
So , just how does a person do this? Well, for me it takes asking a prayer for God to take a hold of the situation and guide me through it the best he can. Very simple step right? However, I doubt God at times but have all my faith in him to bring me out of myself and gain control over my life. This has been an ongoing process for the last 8 years, and it seems to work. I do not stress as much as when I try to run the show. When I let my higher power take over my day or moment, it usually turns out pretty good and I stay active in keeping my human body functioning doing the right thing in life.

I have been a musician for most of my life but have not perfected theory of music , so I am now working on this with my guitars. I feel that it will make me a better guitar player and more musically inclined to step out and play for people and let them enjoy the music I play. I have always played several instruments but never really stayed with just one. This time, I will take it one instrument at a time, just like the AA program, and master one at a time. This is now what I do in my spare time instead of watching TV and isolating myself from the world. It feels good to know I am progressing in my music and it brings joy and pain to my fingers as I practice for about 4- 5 hours a day while my paperwork is processed for my new position in work. This takes about two weeks I am told. There is nothing else I can think of to do. I am an
artist that oil paints and I have this to tackle also as I could be a better painter if I chose to learn more abut my art.

There are a lot of things God may put in your life that is just right in your home that you may want to be better at and this keeps your mind busy and occupied. I believe God wants us to be creative no matter what age we are. Have a Blessed Day..Chris Hyer

Sobriety Curve Balls In our Social Living

Its is Monday 9/12/2016 and a pretty day in Western Texas, I have almost 9 years of sobriety as of this time of year. I have just let go of one full- time job that has lasted almost a year. Why the curve ball has been thrown ? Well, the job was boring and not very interesting to myself. It Paid the bills but I have another job lined up that will do the same, pay the bills. God works in ways that I do not understand , nor or we suppose to understand why God works his miracles in the way he does with us. I have been wanting to leave this former company for months and when the opportunity came and I found another position in which I am interested , I changed like a normal person would.

Now that is not to say I am normal because to me a normal person is one who can drink normal and still hold a job and so the definition of normality is hard to be defined. I am normal in the fact that I pray to God , go to AA meetings and try to live the way God would want me to live. I am 53 and yes I am still stubborn in my ways. I am single with one child who is 24 and I am very proud to call him my son, and he loves me. These things I know because now, he can tell me and wants to be around me. We are not very close but close enough to understand that when I am sober he really takes a liking to me.A very fine young man that does not cuss, drink or smoke and works as a cashier for a grocery store in Midland, Texas. He has thrown me a curve ball in how he lives his life, very quite he is and loving and clean.That is all I can be thankful for is he does not have tattoos and not doing drugs and alcohol like his Daddy did. I am very blessed.

I am blessed also with a clear conscious mind that I am doing the right and legal things in my life and not having to look back to see if I have done wrong. That is a plus in sobriety is looking forward  and to the future no matter what age you may be. The Lord has my back all the time and he watches out for me , and when i feel I may be doing something wrong I feel it and retract. God either is or he is not, what is he to you. God Bless Chris Hyer 9/12/2016

Saturday and Staying Sober

Saturday in the years of my drinking were days to re0couperate from Friday night highs and drinking. I would not wake up until noon or later and then go get food as I was hungry in which woke me up. It would be close to three or four in the afternoon before my head kicked in and I was truly awake. I am not sure how your Saturday was but for me it was quite and sleepy most of the day. Of course, I was preparing for Saturday night and what I was going to drink or smoke. If I was out of weed, I started to make phone calls to get some for the rest of the week. It was like a totally different lifestyle than it is now.
Eight years later in my present tense, I wake up about six AM and try to sleep in till 7 AM and then I let my puppy out the backdoor and let her do her stuff and fix breakfast and drink juice. That is my usual Saturday now. After breakfast, I look at my work phone to see if I have calls for the day I need to take care of , and then get ready to work them or if I don't I get ready for AA as I have a meeting at 10 AM I like to go to in Midland, Texas. I sometimes go grocery shopping in the morning but that habit has changed, and sometimes I just go and buy a few things cause I really just but what I can eat for a few days , but I buy a lot of sparling water. I like Swepps Sparkling water it is my beer for the day , and I like the fizz and taste of this drink. I have progressed to Gatorade also , for some odd reason, I like the taste.

So you now see the change of when I was using alcohol and drugs and to the now when I do not use these things. I really did not know the difference until I started writing this down on this blog. Maybe it is good to have a blog and write how your past was and what you are like now. It sure makes a difference in how far one has come to be sober and living with God. Yes, there is that God word again, he and I are best of friends on a daily basis. I have to have a higher power with me at all times. Call me co-dependent..lol However, it seems to work for me to have gone through these changes and end up not hung over and up and early like I am now. What a miracle once I read over what I just wrote. If you want what I have just take a few steps from AA and work them and then you become a better more productive human being, and you might help change someones life . I write this for me to loook back on and it is interesting to note that I have about 900 people that read this blog a month. So people are interested in how I live I guess. I hope it helps someone. Have a good Saturday, and God Bless. Christopher Hyer.

When you Sponsor a Crazy Person

I have had the luck of sponsoring a few men in my AA group and one stands out as just plain insane. My job as a sponsor is to help those in need of staying away from drinking and to help them with the steps. That is all. I don't try to get involved with their personal lives nor do I want to get involved with them in their personal lives.Help is what a sponsor does, but there is a point where you have to shut people up that are not even trying to work the AA program and text you every 5 minutes and they  talk about their life and work, and really I don't give a shit about the bullshit.Maybe I am being a little harsh but there are those that use sponsors as a means of a counselor and that I am not.
SO when you sponsor a crazy person that phones you all the time or text you about stufff that has no bearing on AA. You have to let them go. I have held on to this one person, and finally said I can't help you. He was driving me crazy with texting 20-30 text a day.I stopped answering them,a dn felt guilty until I finally put my foot down and said ,"Hey if you want help with the steps and AA, Call me and do not text me".

It is needed to be stern on occasions and you and i are only human. We are not guidance counselors, we are just people with a little bit of knowledge of how to stay sober. Do not use a cponsor for things that are ordinary day to day talking. Sure if you have a problem then use a cponsor, but we don't have all the answers. Ask them to get another sponsor to help. You can only do so much to help someone that is not even interested in practicing the 12 steps of AA. In fact you should stop if the conversation is not directly related to AA. Just my opinion on sponsoring certain people. Chris

Sunday and Waking Up Sober

There was a time in my life where Sunday mornings were when I got to sleep in until around 2:00pm to 3:00pm and it was almost every Sunday. Sunday , (As I thought was) a time to sleep off my hangover from the previous Friday and Saturday binges of late night partying and Sunday was my re-cooperation day . This was a time for cuddling up to a warm body who was as sick as I was , and just literally sleeping the day away.

Those times are gone and have been for about eight years now, as on  a Sunday , I get up about 8:00 AM and start my day on a Sunday. There is no hangover and I have time to fill up with gas , go to a store and buy food for the next week, and Church on occasion.

When a person sobers up his entire schedule changes in his life. Sleeping in would be impossible for me now, as when the day sunlight breaks , it is time for me to put into action whatever God's plan is for me today. I don't set my alarm for a Saturday or Sunday, hoping I can get a few hours of rest in. The problem is now I am on a schedule that I did not make up. It must be God's will for me to be awake and running a few errands, because around after lunch , I do rest for the rest fo the day . I watch Movies, Football, you name it. I am also a musician and I play my instruments or Paint a picture with the remaining hours of my day.

I do laundry also on the weekends, but even not having a steady job I wake up and dress for the say which is appropriate , and get out of the house and take care of what needs to be done. It is Tax season now and I have some work in this area as I am sure some of you also do, therefor there is always something to stay busy with on a day I use to totally blow away with sleep and hangovers.

I also for got to mention that when I was drinking , I sometimes did not want to go out to my car and see if I might of hit something when I went out on those Friday and Saturday nights.. Those were the scary times on a Sunday morning that I am glad are gone and I don't have to worry about. I use to wonder if I hit a dog or even a person while I was intoxicated back in those years. Of course, I did find dings at times from my anger when drinking and this would add fuel to my flame on a Sunday. I was also dreading going to work on a Monday and trying to figure out if I could take off that Monday so I could rest even more.

There must be something in alcohol, that depletes the energy in some people after a hard night of drinking  due to the fact of laziness the next day and the sarcassm I use to portray toward anyone that spoke to me in a way I did not like.Maybe some of youu cna relate to what I have said on Sunday mornings, possibly you are experiencing the same thing I use to on Sundays. If so, get your self some help before it is too late.

Sundays are a beautiful day to spend in a park with a loved one, or just being lazy and getting chores done. It is a day to live again and again.Don't let your Sundays get you down, Get sober and start living. Have a good Day..Chris

Chair Person For an AA Meeting

It's Saturday and I am the chairperson for my group . The 12 Step group of Midland, Texas/ Come out if you are from here or visiting the area. It is at 207 N. Midkiff Dr. and it is a small group. Usually have about 4 to 10 people show up. It is good to be a chair person for the Saturday morning group . It brings a beginning to the day of staying on track with what life is all about. I really like the first three steps and I practice them daily in my life, but we work on these on Saturday morning. I always learn more each Saturday than the last.

It is good to do service work at an AA group , it makes you seem worthwhile , while maybe helping out one or two new people also. I highly recommend that you do this type of service work if invoved in AA. It will bring out the shyness in you and concentrate on why you really are there. To help yourself and others that wake up early on Saturday morning to get thier dose of words.The Saturday meeting is at 10 am to 11 am so try to come if able..God Bless..Chris

Traveling and Being Sober

I will embark on a business trip this next week and I am looking forward to it however it has it's downfalls. I have a new puppy and she and I have really bonded, she is a Labrador and I feel like I am abandoning her to the Kennel . It actually feels like I have a child I have to take somewhere and leave cause Daddy is leaving her . The only thing is the dog does not know this. I tell her of course and I have discussed this in AA last night, but I can't help but feel sorry for my puppy and myself.
Being sober and having a companion like I have has made my life so much better. I highly suggest if your by yourself and have no puppy , you get one. It gives new meaning to life.

I now how someone to have responsibility for , even though it's just a dog. She is mine and we both play together and love each other. God knows this and some may think this is silly . But I can't stop thinking how lonely it is going to be not having her lick me when the alarm goes off in the morning , or how she is at night, sneaking underneath my bead to sleep. Me providing her comfort is what this is. It is nice to know that I can love another and be sober at the same time, even though it's just a dog.

I spoke enopugh on this subject now and it is time I take her, I just had to write this in my journal so I could get it it off my mind for  a little while. God Bless you all!!