Showing posts with label Pray. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pray. Show all posts

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Treatment Center Bound For Prescription Medication Addiction

I have tried to get off Xanax and Adeerall for the last few weeks and I can't seem to get over the withdrawals. I wil check myself into a local alcoholism and drug addiction Treatment Center on Tuesday. I am not looking forward to another Treatment Center, but I want off these medication for a long time now. I am sober still and even thought what about drining before I go in, and I have decided that tat would be stupid. This is the first time I ever went into a treatment center for drugs that were prescribed for me. No, i took the dosage as told but the dosage is high and I want my life completly clean, regardless of the outcome of treatment. I am going to hold my head up high and go through the motions for 30 days and be grateful that I can even afford to go and get help.I knew early on that these pills could be a problem , but my Psychiatrist insist that I must be on them the rest of my life. I find that incredibly wrong, as I have read and studied the medication I take and it is for th short term not for over eight years. He said I was a special case, but I hardly believe him anymore.

The last job I had to fly many times, and usually the medicine would make me calm and I could fly anywhere, however the potency of this medication has gone down as I had real bad panic atacks and phobias before the flight and lost my job because I was unable to board this flight. This is when I knew I really had a problem. I also noted that my mind has been going up and down during the day  with possible withdrawal from this medication during the day . Its bad shit for the long term. I was told by two other Doctors that they would like to get me off this medication as the dosage was too high. They told e of the complications if I kept on using the medication at the level that I am. I did not want to hear this from anyone, and turned my head, but in reality a addictive perosn knows when he is addictive to something.

My AA friends , which some of them work at this treatment center are behind me, and that feels good. It is nice to be established in the AA world in my little town as this will make me proud that I am not only doing this for myself but others can see that yes, you can get addicted even when not trying to from Doctor prescriptions.So I won't be writing on this blog until I get out in 30 days. I could use your prayers for a speedy recovery, thank you. God Bless and Good Luck to you all. Chris Hyer
 

Friday, February 17, 2017

Sober Weekend and Yourself

Today I would like to share one of my favorite thoughts on self-improvement.
 
This short thought comes from Nathaniel Branden's book The Six Pillars of
Self-Esteem and it simply goes like this: 
 
"No one is coming".
 
Short. But it has been a powerful and sobering reminder for me.
 
Because yes, you can look for the next big thing that will fix you. 
 
Read more blog articles. Read more personal development books. Look for people
to help you. 
 
And yes, some articles, books, products or people will give you support and
insights that resonate deeply with you and that you can put into practice. 
 
But in the end, if you are an adult then no one is coming. No one is coming to save
you. You have to take responsibility for your own life and what happens in it.
Other things and people can certainly aid you quite a bit. But you are responsible.
 
You can go around blaming society or some people for your problems in your
social life. Or finances. Or health. You can always find scapegoats to judge to feel

better about yourself. You can look for people that will "fix you". You can do this
for the rest of your life if you like. It won't change much. Whatever has to be done,
it's you who have to take responsibility and do it.
 
Yeah, things might always not go your way. You'll fall and stumble and you will
probably have bad luck from time to time.
 
But you still have to focus on yourself and on doing what you can do with what you
have in whatever situation that may arise in your world.

In sobriety we are the one who is responsible for completing Step 1 completely or we fail over and over again.
To move onto the other 11 Steps , first you have to accomplish the first step on your own.

You can do this, however only by yourself. No one can keep you from drinking.
 
Have a wonderful weekend!

Friday, October 28, 2016

Phone Interviews For the Recovering Alcoholic

It would seem as I get older and look for jobs that a phone interview for most people looking for work is normal.Where have the days of dressing nice and Resume in hand gone to? I remember having to drive quite a bit to go fill out an application , and I have to admit that I like the online idea of being hired. You fill out an application online, and everyone knows you are looking for jobs, some how? However , this is how I tend to get hired on to work for someone anymore. Nothing on the Internet is sacred. When I talk about my alcoholism that i went through , I am putting myself out there in never , never land and anyone can read about it. It does not bother me in the least as a alcoholic is suppose to help other alcoholics and the Internet makes this posible, even if you don't want people to find out about it.

It is like searching for a job, I was called from all over the USA this week and told about jobs in my little city of Midland , Texas. How did they know I was looking for work? Well, I know enough about computers that the cookies that are put into your browser, will stay up to 90 days and they sell information about what your looking at on the Internet and what your trying to do on the Internet. There is no secret to anything anymore.

I grew up as a "Baby Boomer", age group is what socialogist call my age, and lucky enough I am pretty savy about how to work the Internet and work on computers for that fact. Cell phones and andything that is connected to the Internet is pretty easy for me to understand. Hell, when I was drunk I use to try hacking sites and stuff and I got myself in trouble a few times. I'm not much into trying to hack anything at all cause big brother is watching and I really don't care about the inner world of the dark side of the Internet. Alcoholics are pretty smart individuals and I bet if you are reading this, you would agree with me on this statement. I drank because I was too smart and I celebrated my clever ideas and then I would get sick. Of course it took a while to take the cure, of not drinking, and then realizing how intelligent I really was back in my drinking days, I was also addicted to drinking to prove how smart I was and you were not. Vicious circle they call this attitude. It is a disease, they say and It is a mental illness. Well, it is what it was and I am glad today I don't have to drink. Have a good day. Chris Hyer

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Gambling and Alcohol Addiction " They go hand in hand"

I am perfect by no means. What I am going to point out to myself on here is that yes, I have addiction problems. I'm addicted to sex, gambling and was addicted to alcohol. I heard a speaker at my Treatment Center named Chris Raymer , and he goes on to say that we all have that little pleasure person inside us called the "Issue Man" The "Issue Man" Loves pleasure we get from drugs alcohol, sex, gambling anything that gives us a high. This part of our body craves our addiction and will tell us to get more of it. Controlling the :Issue Man " is near impossible for the recovering addict. However that is where the 12 steps come in to say , hey stop the insanity and let us get with the program; Chris. I do alright for a while then I fall back into gambling , I know the value of money, but I also know the rush I get from hitting a jackpot. They are almost the exact same except I don't get the same type of hangover with gambling as I did with alcohol. I do get a hangover from gambling especially if I have lost a lot of money. I feel terrible, and shameful , gutted, and stupid.

Yes, gambling produces a high like nonother I can think of. It is time-consuming and with the laughs and crowd, it can be most enjoyable to thiose of us who don't have anything else to do with our time. I drive 100 miles almost evry weekend to go gamble and I win at times , but lose more than win. Until I accept this for what it is, it might get worse, and I better watch out. I am on alert to this problem , and I thought I could control it, and I did but this last weekend I blew my whole paycheck, so out of control for me.

Beware of your addictions and how to manage them or do without them. Use the 12 steps to get out of something that may be ruining your life or taking your hard earned money. I know from experience that when I do wrong , I feel it. Nothing is worth going back to drinking for me , and I will have to deal with this addiction when I am serious about working it. It is just like an alcoholic, gambling is . You need to know when to stop or it will catch your ass when you are not looking. Hope this helps you as I hope it helps me. Christopher Hyer

Friday, June 3, 2016

Sobriety and the Internet "huh"

Well, interesting enough, I started writing this blog about 7 years ago and I have about 400 readers monthly . So you are reading what was intended on being a personal journal abut my sobriety and living life. Thank you for finding an interest in this blog. I don't care if a thousand people read this a month, I am not making any money for it..Anyway, I had my AA Birthday night last week and 20 people turned out to listen to what I had to say. It really was a large crowd for my group as we are a small group of usually about 6- 10 people showing up to meetings. I was glad that there were people interested in what I had to say.
I wrote most of what I wanted to say down before going to the meeting as I was the only speaker. There was a fellow from the treatment center, called La Hacienda that was there, he was alright I guess. Treatment centers trip me out. They take all your money when you go into one and if you have no previous association with AA , it can really throw you for a loop. Especially if you don't stay sober when your 30 days are up. Then you lost about 60k from La Hacienda and then they beg you to come back. Shit, I understand that a lot of celebrities and musicians go to this treatment center, even more than the Betty Ford clinic in California. You would think there would be some type of warranty with your money. I guess what I am saying is that if you have not fallen off a cliff and lost everything , please get yourself some free help from the Salvation Army or something like this organization. It is no country club , but I have been there in Ft Worth and I did stay sober for about 4 years because the damn place scared the crap out of me. Scared straight!! Maybe that is the answer instead of expensive country club spa locations that cater to the rich and famous.

These are only my opinions but in real life when you get out of the country club setting , you might still have a job and a house and a spouse but nine times out of ten most have lost all. This is not true for everyone, granted we all hit our own bottom when we decide it or alcohol and drugs have taken our money and cars and caused relationships to dry up. There is hope for everyone, including myself. staying sober for eight years is the most I have ever been like this and I don't ever see myself going back to the old way of living because I was not living, I was dying..

Truth, is I am living a great life, now. Yes , there are some downfalls, but I am hitting them straight on with honesty and truthfulness.It is so much better than all the lies I use to tell people tomake myself feel good, and I did feel good when I was high or stoned. I feel good straight now also, and it takes a few months or years to feel like I do right now. I would be a fool to go back to the past and re-live my whole crushing living with booze and drugs. I think about it at times that I had fun parties, but in reality, I was not having that much fun. I was drunk or high and just existing in my body. We all have addiction traits , like to chocolate or ice cream. However , they do not change the way you think or communicate with the world. They are fun addictions that need control. I drink Swepps Soda Water all the time and I am addicted to the bubbles and frosty feel in my mouth. It is like a ber , if you know where I am coming from. I even get virgin Bloody Mary drinks at the bar sometimes because I like them. However , I don't go to the bar on a monthly basis. I am pretty much working at something everyday. I feel like I am excelling in every day and accomplishing something as stupid as washing my clothes or taking the dog for a walk. These are things I never did when I was using alcohol or drugs. in the past I just sat at home and painted some pretty far out pictures with oil paint and got high, I saw stuff and painted them. They were graphic and I can even do this sober, but it took a while for my artistic self to realize I did not need to smoke a joint to paint. I guess we never forget the past and remeber the good times more than the bad. I think that is where AA helps me out. I wish you al a good weekend and I hope you enjoy my blog. Keep coming back it just gets more and more interesting I think..lol  Christopher Hyer

Monday, February 15, 2016

Sobriety and Boredom

When I first set out to do this blog. I did it for myself to see how I either grew with AA and being sober or whatever. It was not really set up to sell things to people that come to my blog and I really was not trying to make any money off of this. I have not made money on this site anyway, even though I get like 300 hits a month, so someone is curious about me. Why? I have no idea. Maybe it is friends out there, or maybe I am helping someone that I dont know. But let me be honest with you on this blog post.
I get bored and that is why I write so much on this blog at times. I get inspired to write so I don't get boredom form being sober. Yep, I have the poor me syndrome today and for the last few months. I can't seeem to find a job in Midland, Texas and I am stuck at home most of the time, or going to AA meetings. I do not suggest that I am doing whats right. Maybe I am missing something out there. I use to drink alone and now would be the right time to start drinking cause I have nothing in my life to gain. I am really down right now, but the econopmy is down where I live also.What I am saying is I go online to look for work to send resumes out and nothing happens 70 percent of the time. It gets me down. I want to be productive, so I guess that means flipping burgers at Mcdonalds casue they are about the only p[eople in this ton that is hiring.
I dont know what to do, but drinking is not an answer..I do know that much, but the boredom I am experincing is overwhelming to me at this point in my life. I have a little money left in my savings and I can borrow , but for how long do I have to wait Lord? This is truly a shame that I am healthy and ready to do something. I made a few mistakes and did not take a couple of jobs, cause I did not want to do them. Now I regret this and paying the price. My own fault, but in reality I have never been this long out of work. It bothers the hell out of me, and my self esteem is shot..I wake up early in the morning to nothing. I am alive but for what?Damn life is just not easy.Thats all I have to say today..Chris

Thursday, September 4, 2014

A Dog in Sobriety

My New Puppy,"Abbey"09/04/2014
Funny thing about being sober and not having a wife is you sometimes can get lonely. I finally have a house now with a large backyard and I decided to get a puppy. Never had my own puppy before, and now I have had her for over one month and she is keen. Great for my company when I need her, which is all the time now. She has grown into knowing what is wrong and right at my house, well she is learning. I get frustrated with her, but I am kind to her and treat her as if she were human. She is my love of life!! I highly recommend you get a puppy if you can while going through this life of sobriety. It can be great to get out of yourself and help a dof and train her into being a fine animal.

It takes patience and sometimes I run short of this. It takes love and I am full of love for my dog. I have to be in California for a week this month and I dread having to take her to the kennel, I love her so much and don't want her to think I just left her. However, I give her up to God and I let life keep on happening and I will be ok as she will.It is a humbling experience to own a dog and make sure she is fed and is kept healthy and trained. Responsibility is the utmost importance with my puppy.I would not of taken care of a dog years ago. This puppy folows me everywhere and is so smart, I am grateful for my girl. Sobriety brings about many different avenues in our lives and this is one of those times where it really pays off in loving one another.

Have a good day and God bless you on your journey as it can get rocky , yet trust in God and your day will be ok. I know this as I live this way every day. Pray for his forgiveness and you will be forgiven. Sins are always there for us to initiate and God willing he will forgive these sins if we ask. Living sober has its benefits and having a puppy is one of them.  

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Higher Power AT Work

Just some Girl...
God has blessed me with an understanding that I am not in control over my life!!He is in control over the way my day will turn out to be. He is with me and I am with him. Sometimes I imagine that God is sitting in the passenger side of my car and I talk to him and he just listens. This is great for me, as I am not alone ever. God is with me when I almost get in an accident and narrowly escape somehow. He is with me all times during the day. Letting go and letting him work inside me can be difficult also. I want to run the show at times, yet I really do not. God is forever arranging where I will be at and why.

Yes , I am sane and this is very true with my life. Any will run on self is not good. I pray in the mornings for God to be with me through the day and night and to make my judgements sane. I pray that all whom believe in God have a great day today. I pray for the world, indeed. I think this is powerful in my life and has lead to me being sober for so long. As I know that God is in control of my thoughts and my ways of dealing with other people. The rude , and the nice people of this world, is handled with care by me. I am a miracle of God and so are you!!

May God be with you today and tonight and ask for his direction in your day. Take a pause during stressful times and ask for his help in dealing with a situation you have no control over. He will help, this is a guarantee. Live this way of life and live sober and you will have a new beginning and a better ending. Have a Blessed Day and come back...Chris

Thursday, July 24, 2014

God This Morning and Sobriety

It is July 24th 2014 and a Thursday where I live. It will be Thursday alll day long. What does God have in store for me today? I started my day as usual with reading the Bible and then the Big Book of AA. I had my coffee and Coke and now I am ready to conquer my day.

This is the usual way I wake up with prayer in the shower and reading when I have time. I always wake up earlier then I need to now for a reason. I am not sure what that reason is? I feel drowsie early in the morning and it's hard to wke my ass out of bed, but once I get going it seems to just flow. I have a schedule I adhere to everyday. When I was drinking I had no schedule.

In the morning when I drank beer the night before I would be trying to think of excuses for not going to work and lost many jobs this way.I have had several jobs and so be it. Now, sober and clear headed these feelings of trying to get out of work do not hit my mind, it is how to get going and get ready for the day..It's a 360 degree way of living for me.

There is an AA meeting at 7 am and I think I will try to hit that sometime, that means waking up even earlier and being ready to be at work on time. So , this is an idea. You see, AA is spiritual and these meetings are spiritual. SO It is like going to church without a bunch of
hypocrites. I know that does not sound correct, but i suppose church is just not for me. The sprirt of God is what I live for on a daily basis, not the Church. The meaning that the church coveys is good I am sure, but the spirituality is not there for me.God is fine with that in my mind, a church is where a group of people get together and worship God , well I do this in AA. So what is the difference, except the Holiness of stained glass windows and an expensive organ that anyone can play in my eyes. I am a musician so I see the organ most churches have and if you hit one note on the thing it sounds magnificent.

There are those of you who do not agree with me and that is fine, this blog is for me not you. I write down how I feel right now this minute and if you care to read than fine. Maybe it will give someone an insight of an recovered alcoholic and how sick he is and has been. I am fine and spirituality wise I am sane and in God's prayer.Have a good Thursday as I am sure I will learn some lessons today as I always do everyday in my new life...God Bless You all...Chris

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Why Am I Alive

There is a reason why you are alive today. God planned it this way. Yes, you may have had bad habits and still have them. However, God planned you in the beginning. He has plans for you ever since the day you were conceived. He loves you. He loves me. There is a reason why you are breathing today, it is God's will that we breathe and some do not. He knows when we will die and when we will fail, but is it really a failure to live at times, or are these just lessons. We did not create ourselves, so we do not know how we were created . God created you in his image and Rick Warren , "Purpose Driven Life" is a great example of why we live. Set goals, aim high, break bad habits and live. Live today and be successful.

God loves alcoholics and he planned you to be this way, not you. He did this possibly for you to concieve your purpose in life. Life as a spiritual person who now understands God's powers and strengths in your life. I really believe we are meant to be the way we are. If you  treat others with the same respect that you would like, that is what God would like us to do. God Bless. Christopher

Monday, January 6, 2014

Worth Living For

There are times when I wish I knew what the hell I am living for. Is it to please someone or myself? I wake up say my prayers and hope that each day will be a great day and not all are. They are not bad days , as I try to pay my bills and be responsible. This is called living in itself. I had never really been responsible for my own stuff. I would put it off and wait on this or that bill. I got that taken care of this weekend , and I payed all my bills that I owe right now. I feel good about this and maybe this is just life.

I incur bills from credit cards, car payments, insurance IRS, and everything imaginable. I am trying to cut back some of these bills and doing good at this. Being responsible is part of living sober and the AA way of taking control of oneself.It has taken me almost 5 years of sobriety to understand this . I am now realizing how irresponsible I was. My finances were always in debt. I was living a life of lies and deception. I was drunk or hung over and just did not want to pay my bills. Maybe I am the only one that was this way, I don't know. I do know it feels good to know they are paid now and I do not get harassing phone calls anymore. Growing up is what this is called.God Bless and have a great day...Christopher  

Friday, January 3, 2014

There is Good in This World

I had a thought the other day. Why was I living and what do I contribute to society. I don't really know the answers. I live for day to day for my work . I have a son that counts on me to be here. I have a Mother and a Father that enjoy me when it is convenient for them. I guess these are good enough reasons to show up and suit up for work each day and make a living and be sober. These people rely upon me even though I barely see them every day. even at age 50 , I am still single but by my choice and I cannot blame God for this.This town I live in was to blame for my drinking years, I thought. However when I look back and think it matter none where I lived. I drank to oblivion wherever I lived. Always blaming the city and my loneliness, and that was why I drank. Loneliness is a good reason to drink. It is not a valid reason for destroying your body and others lives though. 


That is why I stay sober and get up everyday and say my prayers. I don't go to AA much anymore. I had a friend die and for some reason it has kept me away from AA. I have been enjoying coming home after work and just lying down and watching TV and sleeping. I hope this is normal, I am not sure, just kind of tired from work I guess lately. I need to get up and start going to AA again so I do not slip back into a recluse. I can do this very easy.

I have gotten rid of my Corvette and my SUV for a smaller car that gets better gas mileage and this is responsible. I hate being responsible. This is what sober living does to me. I traded off my toys for a car that makes sense for my work and life. I , also had to cut back on bills as they were high in car cost. Responsibility is discipline where you may not be use to like myself.God bless and I am glad I wrote this today so I know now why I am here. Have a good day..Christopher  

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Chicago, Illinois and Sobriety ( Making it happen)

For those of you whom read this blog I have been in Chicago for a week now. I have successfully flown up here sober and with God's help enjoyed the airplane trip. I , however prepared with Hypnosis and praying to God. One phrase keeps hitting my head.. Happy , Joyous and Free, I am not sure where I picked up this phrase but it helped me with my anxieties. I am by far not a normal person , but I did not coward from this trip, Thank God.

So I am here in the windy city and have enjoyed most of my work and stay here. I am looking forward to coming back home and have no anxiety about flying anymore. It is a true miracle, how breahing deep and breathing out slowly can calm ones self in a stressful environment. I have practice this and still use this when I have to deal with fear...It works this program of AA and the Big Book and God. You must have God , of course to get your life together. I still have issues about life, but I am dealing with them head on. I am not being fearful. Thank God for my sponsor who called me minutes before my flight. He egged me on to continue, and I have and am doing fine. I hope this helps those of you who have issues with fear. There is no fear... It is the devil, fear is. Do not let the devil get a part of you. Pray to God to let the devil leave your soul and you will be fine as long as you pray for what you need and want. God Bless....Sunday 10.20.2013

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Friday the 13th, ( Actually Chris Raymer Day in Midland, Texas)

As we head into the week of September 2013 , Midland , Texas and PDAP are welcoming Chris Raymer back into the Permian Basin area to speak. This man is a god given talent to all whom are able to attend this meeting on Friday September the 13th at 6 pm at PDAP in Midland, Texas.

I am curious as to how large or small the crowd will be, the announcement has been around the AA meetings in Odessa and Midland for about two months. He has affected those of us who went to La Hacienda , and where he use to work as a clerk, ( I believe), and a speaker about the issue man or spiritual malady that is inside each and every one of us. During his circuit speeches he does not talk about the spiritual malady , as he did at the Hunt alcohol and drug treatment center and I would like it if he would. It is a great topic, yet he has his own speech already prepared I am sure.

Chris R. is a spiritual person that is passionate about human beings . He is concerned about topics that are not touched on in AA groups and is sometimes frowned upon by the AA circuit gurus. As it may be , his message is real , and he is the real McCoy in this alcohol battle we all have and his presence will be felt once you meet him. Please make a point to come and hear this man speak , and you will have a new outlook on life. God Bless. Christopher

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Chris Raymer and AA Speakers

There are a lot of circuit AA speakers who fly all around the world, helping those that need guidance with the disease of alcoholism. Chris Raymer of Hunt, Texas is one of these guys. He is sometimes called the "One eyed bandit" joyfully so. He is on a mission, and his mission includes all those affected with alcohol in one way or another. When I was in treatment at La Hacienda this man spoke to us everyday. I was in such a daze that I only was able to conceive some of his message. He is very out there and out spoken , he gets his point across. He has the idea that we are not doing enough as a whole in helping the newcomer beat his addiction. He will tell you that AA in some cities will not even crack open a Big Book in their meetings, and he is right. The AA and the group as a whole should use this material , because it works. He has been to so many places and witness too many deaths in his lifetime of sobriety.

Chris R. story is not the typical one. His indeed is different as we all are. He did not recover from this disease this last time at a alcohol and drug treatment facility. He went to an AA meeting in Lewisville, Texas on his last draw with drugs and drinking. He really wanted what these people in AA had, and made the effort. He was taken in by some old timers at the AA club and put to work on the steps immediately. Those who wanted Chris to stay sober knew just what to do to give him a chance in sobriety, because all had failed in what Chris tried. He was willing to do what it took, reluctantly at first, yet building a foundation that he lives by today.

Focusing on the 12th step and helping other alcoholics maintain their sobriety is a passion for this man. It should be the passion of all of us. However, we have fallin short and expect the newcomer to take for his own. This is not how AA was intended and Chris will speak about this. There are some in AA whom disagree with Chris on several issues, and this is true with anyone that has knowledge of his sorroundings. Chris is hyper and full of passion for the recovered AA person and those coming new into the program. Here is a sound clip of one of his recent speaches he has given. You can find these by searching out his name in google.com. Christopher

Monday, August 5, 2013

Starting out Your Day Sober

It is a Monday and starting your day out sober is a good thing. No hangover, and fully functional is the best way to feel, even if a bit drowsy from sleep. I have to admit there were too many Monday's where I was hung over and I called in sick to work, I am sure some of you can relate. We don't have to do this anymore, and our employer thinks the world of this or they should. Monday seems to be the starting point for the week for me. All things new and unknown, and I pray first thing in the morning for strength to make it through the day and to let God do his thing with me.

Trees by Chris Hyer 2013
It is ok to ask God for help when you are in a position for his guidance. I am waiting on an answer from a corporation to see if I can be employed by this company. I should know today is what I was told on Friday. It is out of my hands now, and I have to pray about a positive outcome from this employer. What is positive though, to me it would mean employment in an area in which I excell in. However this may not be the route in which God wants me to ta
ke. We will have to see and wait for the outcome from this meeting. I have learned how to let GOd work and to let go of situations which use to baffle me, I have no control over certain aspects of my life. This has made me a better person and a more patient one.

Starting your day sober is a such a great feeling and I hope if you are sober you have learned how to give control over to God in situations that use to baffle you. It really is all you can do. You have to take action and try to make things happen. Faith without works is dead. Once you have exhausted all avenues to make the needed changes in your life, sit back and relax and let God take over. He will guide you the rest of the way in his time, not yours. This is easy to say but hard to learn. I hope you have a good Monday and keep your head up high, and pray your day comes off just as goood as you want it to. Christopher...

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Running With The Lord

Its funny how life just keeps throwing us curve balls in life. We make life what it is today. God provides us with a brain and activities to work our brain with. With so many of us with years of drinking and drugs , we are all miracles. It is a miracle that one can get sober and still function in this world as a productive and empowering human being. We have great insight as to what not to do , and what to do. By working the steps in the AA program, How could you go wrong? You really can't , you give your life over to God and he takes control. You have to be willing and able to do this. He makes this possible , by giving us the strength of sobriety , and prayer, all things can be accomplished , big and small. I am living proof of this.

I quit a job where there was verbal abuse and it brought me into another job , in only one days time. It is amazing how this life works when we let go and give effort. Prayer does it for me, and constantly not giving up. I am a fighter , more than I thought I was. Maybe you are also this way, and you also know what I speak of. The miracle of another job , better in money and befits and a better boss. God wants the best for us, and I am not saying what I did was right or wrong, last week. I did what I felt I had to do , and just in time for another opportunity to knock on my door. God is with us even when we are not consciously knowing it.

I was dreading work last week after only a few days , but the verbal abuse was too much. No one should have to put up with this and God knew this. He provided me with an out. I have not actually started the new job , but it looks hopeful. through God all things are possible, this is a major company that was closely related to the other job. Very close, and it blew me away when I had my interview. I have been going to AA a little more often, and prayer is still a large part of my day, and night. I think al is alright and when you run with the lord, you can not go wrong.

Just a Guy
Maybe its the good living practices I am doing that is making the difference in my life. Being over 4 years sober is key to using God as a way to deal with the daily stresses in my life. I have not given up on this blog because I have so many readers now. Why is this? Maybe I am helping out those that need a little bit of guidance from a guy who at one time was in a trash can getting his daily meal. Of course, this is true and now , I don't have to dive in this direction, because I
am sober. Without sobriety I would be dead. there is no two ways about this disease and I shake thinking of this alternative. I was close to death this time I cleaned up. That is what helps me stay sober is the remembrance of how bad it really got in my drinking. Please get help if you can't seem to stop, your life will take a turn. It takes time, but overnight you will feel the benefits of sobriety.

You may be asking how do I stop Chris? The first thing to do is put the bottle down and call AA or a treatment facility and know that you really want to stop. You have to really want to stop ,, or you will go back just as fast as you sober up. This does not work where you can drink again, it must not, or you will never grow up and out of the drink. It will kill you sooner than later if you have been drinking  for a long term situation. If you slip and drink, get your ass to a meeting and tell the group that you fucked up, and they will help you. You have to humble yourself all the way through the program of AA and take steps that may seem embarrassing to you. This is called growth. Your family and loved ones will be affected also , and they will see a new you. It takes time though, and strength from God . There is no other solution. Death or a Drink. Period.  Christopher

Monday, July 29, 2013

Good Monday Morning

Well the sun is out and the birds are chirping and , we are all alive. This is a good deal , right? God grant us the serenity to do the things we need to do. I have a lot of things to acomplish toda
y. I had a rough week last week and this week will be ok starting with today. I was lucky enough to have an interview inperson and over the phone with a large corporation last friday. I am looking at a very good position with a manufacturer this afternoon. I have the qualifications and I will be working mostly by myself. I will have to travel to Chicago, Huntington Beach, and Atlanta on occasion. SO this would be nice . When things get tough, and you hang in there like I have been, good things seem to happen. I call them miracles. God miracles.

I am feeling pretty secure with what this fellow has to offer me in the way of work today. I hope he decides to take me on. I will pray about it, and hopefully it will come true. I will not know until this afternoon. I met a girl from Silsbee, Texas online and she is a doll. I don't know what to think about her, though. She is quite young and beautiful, and she and I talked all weekend. There is a part of me that just wants to marry this girl and go from there, but I need a job first and then we will see about a relationship.

In a way I am tired of being alone, I am not really lonely but to have a special girl with me at all times, is not heard of. It has been over 16 years since I have been married. This girl I speak of is half my age and mature, but this could be an issue. I like them young, and spunky as this keeps me feeling young. If I still attract this type of women , why not go for it. Go ahead and make her a part of my life. I don't care what people would say, I would love her anyway. We will see how this week goes I guess, sorry for the rambling. Have a good day..Christopher

Thursday, July 25, 2013

God I offer Myself To Thee

I tried and tried to get along with my new manager at work and he is either racist or has a dry sense of humor. I left my job this morning , and reluctantly so. I was asked to put together a machine that I have no idea of what I was doing. I was verbally abused by this man , in a way that was wrong in my mind. He asked if I was a Technician and he was curious as to how good I really was. Hell I only was with them for three days. I am a good technician, and have worked on copiers for over 2 years. The product was different than what I was use to , but I figured they would give me a while to learn theirs. Maybe I took everything the wrong way, but it was like I could not do anything as good as this fellow wanted.

The Worlds a Stage
I prayed and prayed about this every morning noon, and night and on the job. I finally this morning had my fill of it and left my key and a note , and my damn screwdriver that He called Richard. He had fired a guy who did not have his tools with him on a job , and just because he did not bring in his tools the boss of mine fired this fellow. He might have had other issues, but I had to walk around with a 20" screwdriver all the time. I thought this was kind of weird and stupid. Yet I did it and was willing to do most anything to keep this job.

I don't think this guy knows he was verbally abusing me , I think it may just be his attitude towards certain people. I forgive as much as I can but can only put up with so much abuse, whether intended or if it was for his enjoyment.I did , however call the owner and explained to him why I left to his answering machine. I am not trying to get anyone fired and I am sure I will not. This fellow will probably just say I was no good for this company. He will make it look like I was not of value to this company. I know people that are this way, they think they know everything and then sit their intentions on other people. He knew I was going to take his verbal assaults and he continued this, as an affirmation to me that I was not worth being there. I would of blown up if he confronted me again, so I did what I thought was correct and left.

No one should be questioned if they are qualified for a job after being hired for said job. No one should be mentally tainted with the notion that you are not good enough to be there working. Especially a manager until sufficient time to learn how they operate their business.

I called my sponsor and told him after I got home, and was upset about this whole ordeal. He listened and that is what a sponsor does. He does not judge and he did not agree or disagree with what I had to say. I did what I did for my own sanity. I was sweating bricks this morning , trying to do the work I was asked to do. I did finish this , and I did a good job. After thinking about what other words would come out o
f this fellows mouth , I made my decision to leave. No one was around anyway, and I am not good at quitting a job.

Well onto other things I suppose, and I don't have to drink over this . I have thought about taking a long drive, but this may be what I will do. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. That is all I have to say on this matter today. Have a good day...Christopher

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Good Day- Thy Will Be Done, Not Mine

In a perfect world, my life would go like I see it. I am wrong , in a perfect world my life will go according to how God sees it. What does he see? I look in the mirror and he sees a sober, handsome , individual, that is sober and has his will of God in his mind. Thy will be done, not mine. This is the motto of this day. As I seek employment from different sources, God makes this all possible, where I had no leads a few days ago to having to pick which job best suits me.

Midland Park after rain Christopherhyer2013
God has his ways of telling me what to do. I don't listen at times, and be quite and shut up. I need peacefulness to hear his word to me, and sometimes his word is written in this blog. I read back a few days back and I can't believe I wrote such articles. Some good , others spiritual, and without provocation I adhere to every word I write.

My goal is for the Alcoholic to see what happens when you sober up and live life day to day. 90 days in the program and 90 meetings is great at first , but don't adhere to these if y
ou cannot, you will let yourself down. Meetings will not make you sober, its your oneness with God, that will keep you  straight and in line with the program of AA. I believe this to this day. If not for my spiritual connection with God I would not be writing these everyday.

This is my journal and I highly believe you write one for yourself. A blog is an easy idea, but a notebook with paper will do just fine. In fact this should be a part of your everyday ritual. It will help you see where you are with the steps and how you feel day to day. Today is a new day and tomorrow is the future, what happens today is god send, and the future is known by God and only him. I have to stay in check with this attitude myself, as I try to skip ahead a few days at a time.

We are not a glum lot, we are happy individuals, that God has given us a daily reprieve contigant upon how we manifest ones self with our spiritual being. God is good and he is forever watching over us and giving direction. Try to catch him working in your life today and see the miracles he performs daily in your life as I try. God Bless and have a Good Day! Christopher