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Showing posts with the label Pray

Sobriety and Being Alone

You are never alone. You might think so since there is no one in the house with you. But really, God is with you or your higher power is near you if you are sober right now. I thought about this since I am usually alone at night. However, I have a Labrador that I love and treat her like a human. plus the almighty spirit I call God, to whom sees my actions and keeps me from loneliness every single day. It takes a little bit of time to accept this. However, with myself and what I do for work, I know God is with me during the day and the night. He never runs away, he is in me. I'm not God but I believe the spiritual God I worship is inside me. That is how he can tell me when the oven is hot don't touch it with my hand. If I start thinking stupid drinking thoughts, he rids these almost immediately. I never thank him enough. I don't think a person could love his God as I do mine. You have to love yourself a little bit for God to come into your soul and speak to you. Maybe not w…

Treatment Center Bound For Prescription Medication Addiction

I have tried to get off Xanax and Adeerall for the last few weeks and I can't seem to get over the withdrawals. I wil check myself into a local alcoholism and drug addiction Treatment Center on Tuesday. I am not looking forward to another Treatment Center, but I want off these medication for a long time now. I am sober still and even thought what about drining before I go in, and I have decided that tat would be stupid. This is the first time I ever went into a treatment center for drugs that were prescribed for me. No, i took the dosage as told but the dosage is high and I want my life completly clean, regardless of the outcome of treatment. I am going to hold my head up high and go through the motions for 30 days and be grateful that I can even afford to go and get help.I knew early on that these pills could be a problem , but my Psychiatrist insist that I must be on them the rest of my life. I find that incredibly wrong, as I have read and studied the medication I take and it i…

Sober Weekend and Yourself

Today I would like to share one of my favorite thoughts on self-improvement. This short thought comes from Nathaniel Branden's book The Six Pillars of
Self-Esteem and it simply goes like this:  "No one is coming". Short. But it has been a powerful and sobering reminder for me. Because yes, you can look for the next big thing that will fix you.  Read more blog articles. Read more personal development books. Look for people
to help you.  And yes, some articles, books, products or people will give you support and
insights that resonate deeply with you and that you can put into practice.  But in the end, if you are an adult then no one is coming. No one is coming to save
you. You have to take responsibility for your own life and what happens in it.
Other things and people can certainly aid you quite a bit. But you are responsible. You can go around blaming society or some people for your problems in your
social life. Or finances. Or health. You can always find scapegoats to judge to feel
b…

Phone Interviews For the Recovering Alcoholic

It would seem as I get older and look for jobs that a phone interview for most people looking for work is normal.Where have the days of dressing nice and Resume in hand gone to? I remember having to drive quite a bit to go fill out an application , and I have to admit that I like the online idea of being hired. You fill out an application online, and everyone knows you are looking for jobs, some how? However , this is how I tend to get hired on to work for someone anymore. Nothing on the Internet is sacred. When I talk about my alcoholism that i went through , I am putting myself out there in never , never land and anyone can read about it. It does not bother me in the least as a alcoholic is suppose to help other alcoholics and the Internet makes this posible, even if you don't want people to find out about it.

It is like searching for a job, I was called from all over the USA this week and told about jobs in my little city of Midland , Texas. How did they know I was looking for …

Gambling and Alcohol Addiction " They go hand in hand"

I am perfect by no means. What I am going to point out to myself on here is that yes, I have addiction problems. I'm addicted to sex, gambling and was addicted to alcohol. I heard a speaker at my Treatment Center named Chris Raymer , and he goes on to say that we all have that little pleasure person inside us called the "Issue Man" The "Issue Man" Loves pleasure we get from drugs alcohol, sex, gambling anything that gives us a high. This part of our body craves our addiction and will tell us to get more of it. Controlling the :Issue Man " is near impossible for the recovering addict. However that is where the 12 steps come in to say , hey stop the insanity and let us get with the program; Chris. I do alright for a while then I fall back into gambling , I know the value of money, but I also know the rush I get from hitting a jackpot. They are almost the exact same except I don't get the same type of hangover with gambling as I did with alcohol. I do get…

Sobriety and the Internet "huh"

Well, interesting enough, I started writing this blog about 7 years ago and I have about 400 readers monthly . So you are reading what was intended on being a personal journal abut my sobriety and living life. Thank you for finding an interest in this blog. I don't care if a thousand people read this a month, I am not making any money for it..Anyway, I had my AA Birthday night last week and 20 people turned out to listen to what I had to say. It really was a large crowd for my group as we are a small group of usually about 6- 10 people showing up to meetings. I was glad that there were people interested in what I had to say.
I wrote most of what I wanted to say down before going to the meeting as I was the only speaker. There was a fellow from the treatment center, called La Hacienda that was there, he was alright I guess. Treatment centers trip me out. They take all your money when you go into one and if you have no previous association with AA , it can really throw you for a loo…

Sobriety and Boredom

When I first set out to do this blog. I did it for myself to see how I either grew with AA and being sober or whatever. It was not really set up to sell things to people that come to my blog and I really was not trying to make any money off of this. I have not made money on this site anyway, even though I get like 300 hits a month, so someone is curious about me. Why? I have no idea. Maybe it is friends out there, or maybe I am helping someone that I dont know. But let me be honest with you on this blog post.
I get bored and that is why I write so much on this blog at times. I get inspired to write so I don't get boredom form being sober. Yep, I have the poor me syndrome today and for the last few months. I can't seeem to find a job in Midland, Texas and I am stuck at home most of the time, or going to AA meetings. I do not suggest that I am doing whats right. Maybe I am missing something out there. I use to drink alone and now would be the right time to start drinking cause I…

A Dog in Sobriety

Funny thing about being sober and not having a wife is you sometimes can get lonely. I finally have a house now with a large backyard and I decided to get a puppy. Never had my own puppy before, and now I have had her for over one month and she is keen. Great for my company when I need her, which is all the time now. She has grown into knowing what is wrong and right at my house, well she is learning. I get frustrated with her, but I am kind to her and treat her as if she were human. She is my love of life!! I highly recommend you get a puppy if you can while going through this life of sobriety. It can be great to get out of yourself and help a dof and train her into being a fine animal.

It takes patience and sometimes I run short of this. It takes love and I am full of love for my dog. I have to be in California for a week this month and I dread having to take her to the kennel, I love her so much and don't want her to think I just left her. However, I give her up to God and I l…

Higher Power AT Work

God has blessed me with an understanding that I am not in control over my life!!He is in control over the way my day will turn out to be. He is with me and I am with him. Sometimes I imagine that God is sitting in the passenger side of my car and I talk to him and he just listens. This is great for me, as I am not alone ever. God is with me when I almost get in an accident and narrowly escape somehow. He is with me all times during the day. Letting go and letting him work inside me can be difficult also. I want to run the show at times, yet I really do not. God is forever arranging where I will be at and why.

Yes , I am sane and this is very true with my life. Any will run on self is not good. I pray in the mornings for God to be with me through the day and night and to make my judgements sane. I pray that all whom believe in God have a great day today. I pray for the world, indeed. I think this is powerful in my life and has lead to me being sober for so long. As I know that God is …

God This Morning and Sobriety

It is July 24th 2014 and a Thursday where I live. It will be Thursday alll day long. What does God have in store for me today? I started my day as usual with reading the Bible and then the Big Book of AA. I had my coffee and Coke and now I am ready to conquer my day.

This is the usual way I wake up with prayer in the shower and reading when I have time. I always wake up earlier then I need to now for a reason. I am not sure what that reason is? I feel drowsie early in the morning and it's hard to wke my ass out of bed, but once I get going it seems to just flow. I have a schedule I adhere to everyday. When I was drinking I had no schedule.

In the morning when I drank beer the night before I would be trying to think of excuses for not going to work and lost many jobs this way.I have had several jobs and so be it. Now, sober and clear headed these feelings of trying to get out of work do not hit my mind, it is how to get going and get ready for the day..It's a 360 degree way of li…

Why Am I Alive

There is a reason why you are alive today. God planned it this way. Yes, you may have had bad habits and still have them. However, God planned you in the beginning. He has plans for you ever since the day you were conceived. He loves you. He loves me. There is a reason why you are breathing today, it is God's will that we breathe and some do not. He knows when we will die and when we will fail, but is it really a failure to live at times, or are these just lessons. We did not create ourselves, so we do not know how we were created . God created you in his image and Rick Warren , "Purpose Driven Life" is a great example of why we live. Set goals, aim high, break bad habits and live. Live today and be successful.

God loves alcoholics and he planned you to be this way, not you. He did this possibly for you to concieve your purpose in life. Life as a spiritual person who now understands God's powers and strengths in your life. I really believe we are meant to be the way w…

Worth Living For

There are times when I wish I knew what the hell I am living for. Is it to please someone or myself? I wake up say my prayers and hope that each day will be a great day and not all are. They are not bad days , as I try to pay my bills and be responsible. This is called living in itself. I had never really been responsible for my own stuff. I would put it off and wait on this or that bill. I got that taken care of this weekend , and I payed all my bills that I owe right now. I feel good about this and maybe this is just life.

I incur bills from credit cards, car payments, insurance IRS, and everything imaginable. I am trying to cut back some of these bills and doing good at this. Being responsible is part of living sober and the AA way of taking control of oneself.It has taken me almost 5 years of sobriety to understand this . I am now realizing how irresponsible I was. My finances were always in debt. I was living a life of lies and deception. I was drunk or hung over and just did not …

There is Good in This World

I had a thought the other day. Why was I living and what do I contribute to society. I don't really know the answers. I live for day to day for my work . I have a son that counts on me to be here. I have a Mother and a Father that enjoy me when it is convenient for them. I guess these are good enough reasons to show up and suit up for work each day and make a living and be sober. These people rely upon me even though I barely see them every day. even at age 50 , I am still single but by my choice and I cannot blame God for this.This town I live in was to blame for my drinking years, I thought. However when I look back and think it matter none where I lived. I drank to oblivion wherever I lived. Always blaming the city and my loneliness, and that was why I drank. Loneliness is a good reason to drink. It is not a valid reason for destroying your body and others lives though. 
That is why I stay sober and get up everyday and say my prayers. I don't go to AA much anymore. I had a f…

Chicago, Illinois and Sobriety ( Making it happen)

For those of you whom read this blog I have been in Chicago for a week now. I have successfully flown up here sober and with God's help enjoyed the airplane trip. I , however prepared with Hypnosis and praying to God. One phrase keeps hitting my head.. Happy , Joyous and Free, I am not sure where I picked up this phrase but it helped me with my anxieties. I am by far not a normal person , but I did not coward from this trip, Thank God.

So I am here in the windy city and have enjoyed most of my work and stay here. I am looking forward to coming back home and have no anxiety about flying anymore. It is a true miracle, how breahing deep and breathing out slowly can calm ones self in a stressful environment. I have practice this and still use this when I have to deal with fear...It works this program of AA and the Big Book and God. You must have God , of course to get your life together. I still have issues about life, but I am dealing with them head on. I am not being fearful. Thank G…

Friday the 13th, ( Actually Chris Raymer Day in Midland, Texas)

As we head into the week of September 2013 , Midland , Texas and PDAP are welcoming Chris Raymer back into the Permian Basin area to speak. This man is a god given talent to all whom are able to attend this meeting on Friday September the 13th at 6 pm at PDAP in Midland, Texas.

I am curious as to how large or small the crowd will be, the announcement has been around the AA meetings in Odessa and Midland for about two months. He has affected those of us who went to La Hacienda , and where he use to work as a clerk, ( I believe), and a speaker about the issue man or spiritual malady that is inside each and every one of us. During his circuit speeches he does not talk about the spiritual malady , as he did at the Hunt alcohol and drug treatment center and I would like it if he would. It is a great topic, yet he has his own speech already prepared I am sure.

Chris R. is a spiritual person that is passionate about human beings . He is concerned about topics that are not touched on in AA gro…

Chris Raymer and AA Speakers

There are a lot of circuit AA speakers who fly all around the world, helping those that need guidance with the disease of alcoholism. Chris Raymer of Hunt, Texas is one of these guys. He is sometimes called the "One eyed bandit" joyfully so. He is on a mission, and his mission includes all those affected with alcohol in one way or another. When I was in treatment at La Hacienda this man spoke to us everyday. I was in such a daze that I only was able to conceive some of his message. He is very out there and out spoken , he gets his point across. He has the idea that we are not doing enough as a whole in helping the newcomer beat his addiction. He will tell you that AA in some cities will not even crack open a Big Book in their meetings, and he is right. The AA and the group as a whole should use this material , because it works. He has been to so many places and witness too many deaths in his lifetime of sobriety.

Chris R. story is not the typical one. His indeed is different …

Starting out Your Day Sober

It is a Monday and starting your day out sober is a good thing. No hangover, and fully functional is the best way to feel, even if a bit drowsy from sleep. I have to admit there were too many Monday's where I was hung over and I called in sick to work, I am sure some of you can relate. We don't have to do this anymore, and our employer thinks the world of this or they should. Monday seems to be the starting point for the week for me. All things new and unknown, and I pray first thing in the morning for strength to make it through the day and to let God do his thing with me.

It is ok to ask God for help when you are in a position for his guidance. I am waiting on an answer from a corporation to see if I can be employed by this company. I should know today is what I was told on Friday. It is out of my hands now, and I have to pray about a positive outcome from this employer. What is positive though, to me it would mean employment in an area in which I excell in. However this may …

Running With The Lord

Its funny how life just keeps throwing us curve balls in life. We make life what it is today. God provides us with a brain and activities to work our brain with. With so many of us with years of drinking and drugs , we are all miracles. It is a miracle that one can get sober and still function in this world as a productive and empowering human being. We have great insight as to what not to do , and what to do. By working the steps in the AA program, How could you go wrong? You really can't , you give your life over to God and he takes control. You have to be willing and able to do this. He makes this possible , by giving us the strength of sobriety , and prayer, all things can be accomplished , big and small. I am living proof of this.

I quit a job where there was verbal abuse and it brought me into another job , in only one days time. It is amazing how this life works when we let go and give effort. Prayer does it for me, and constantly not giving up. I am a fighter , more than I …

Good Monday Morning

Well the sun is out and the birds are chirping and , we are all alive. This is a good deal , right? God grant us the serenity to do the things we need to do. I have a lot of things to acomplish toda
y. I had a rough week last week and this week will be ok starting with today. I was lucky enough to have an interview inperson and over the phone with a large corporation last friday. I am looking at a very good position with a manufacturer this afternoon. I have the qualifications and I will be working mostly by myself. I will have to travel to Chicago, Huntington Beach, and Atlanta on occasion. SO this would be nice . When things get tough, and you hang in there like I have been, good things seem to happen. I call them miracles. God miracles.

I am feeling pretty secure with what this fellow has to offer me in the way of work today. I hope he decides to take me on. I will pray about it, and hopefully it will come true. I will not know until this afternoon. I met a girl from Silsbee, Texas …

God I offer Myself To Thee

I tried and tried to get along with my new manager at work and he is either racist or has a dry sense of humor. I left my job this morning , and reluctantly so. I was asked to put together a machine that I have no idea of what I was doing. I was verbally abused by this man , in a way that was wrong in my mind. He asked if I was a Technician and he was curious as to how good I really was. Hell I only was with them for three days. I am a good technician, and have worked on copiers for over 2 years. The product was different than what I was use to , but I figured they would give me a while to learn theirs. Maybe I took everything the wrong way, but it was like I could not do anything as good as this fellow wanted.

I prayed and prayed about this every morning noon, and night and on the job. I finally this morning had my fill of it and left my key and a note , and my damn screwdriver that He called Richard. He had fired a guy who did not have his tools with him on a job , and just because h…