Showing posts with label midland. Show all posts
Showing posts with label midland. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 4, 2017

July 4th,2017 A Day to Stay Sober

What better thing to do today then to stop drinking alcohol than the 4th of July, 2017? Yeah, I know it is celebration time, however, is there not a day that is celebration time? A person who is not alcoholic does not think this the day to get hammered, but a day to spend with the family and kids . An alcoholic by this time of day has already possibly had the first drink to make it through the morning shakes and jitters. The alcoholic cannot control his drinking because it is a disease like cancer. Until the alcoholic gets true help he will keep up his drinking no matter what you say, because he cannot stop on his own will. You are not to blame for the alcoholic's ways, his brain is wired differently and he just wants you to shut up about his habit and let him live his day, even though deep inside he would like to quit.

So what do you do when you have a loved one that drinks and does not stop drinking. One answer is a treatment center and yes they are free in most cities in the USA. They are not nice like the Betty Ford Clinics, but all treatment centers are the same, they get the alcoholic off the drink for at least a short period of time. The other option is to make the alcoholic leave and not come back, which is hard to do for any one's family but a necessity is to make sure that the alcoholic knows you will not put up with his drinking. If drunk he will complain and leave because he is tired of hearing you bitch about his drinking, but then as most drunks will do , they will call you back sober and tell you they have a plan for not drinking. Beware of this plan , and if does not involve some type of counseling or AA , do not let the alcoholic come home. We alcoholics are quite manipulative and know how to get what we need and want. Most alcoholics are very smart and intelligent working citizens, they are not the bums that you see underneath a bridge in a dark long coat. They will be this person if they do not quit and lose all and get locked up in prison or jail. I have met them all.

Sometimes jail really helps an alcoholic or drug abuser, I don't recommend this but I have seen it work in other cases. It is a drastic way to sober up , and the treatment center is not usually there to help with withdrawals. Many people get busted for DUI and DWI on this weekend, and other weekends as well. You see an alcoholic hass many holidays even though he would not call them this. Drinking socially is not drinking beer after beer for a 12 pack in a couple of hours. Your not drinking for the taste but for the effect it has on you and you enjoy this effect or addicted to the feel good effect.
Today is a great day to start drinking water or soda's and not pick up a beer for just today, then when work comes in the morning you might think of doing the same thing, and if you have a problem with not drinking on the next day call AA and discuss this with someone. You can do this and there is help 24 hours a day with so many of us recovering alcoholics with phones you can talk to. We have lived this life of lies and hurting our families, we know where you have been, don't feel ashamed as you will not surprise us that use to drink. Good Luck Today and have a Happy 4th of July this year 2017. Chris Hyer

Friday, March 3, 2017

Day 3 New Job Sober

Well it has been a good three days , I wake up early and listen to meditation music for about an hour and then I am ready to ride with one of my co workers. They seem to be pleasant and helpful. I am not as nervous as I was in the beginning. I am very lucky to be with a top rated company and all the benefits I will acquire from within this company. I fly out Monday early morning about 6 am and this is ok. I am ready to face fear and if I have anxiety then that is ok. I cannot give this up becasue of being nervous. I have to remember that god will take these fears away from me if I ask. I got on my knees and prayed last night for him to take care of my fears and I woke up this morning feeling a lot more in control, though I know it is God working in me where I don't know how. God the spirit is all I need and a couple of AA meetings for medicine to get me through a great time in Springfield. The thought of getting out of town sounds good as I have not even left Midland in a few years. The unknown is an exploration and a wonderful part of my life that baffles my mind. Have a good Day. Chris Hyer

Friday, February 17, 2017

Sober Weekend and Yourself

Today I would like to share one of my favorite thoughts on self-improvement.
 
This short thought comes from Nathaniel Branden's book The Six Pillars of
Self-Esteem and it simply goes like this: 
 
"No one is coming".
 
Short. But it has been a powerful and sobering reminder for me.
 
Because yes, you can look for the next big thing that will fix you. 
 
Read more blog articles. Read more personal development books. Look for people
to help you. 
 
And yes, some articles, books, products or people will give you support and
insights that resonate deeply with you and that you can put into practice. 
 
But in the end, if you are an adult then no one is coming. No one is coming to save
you. You have to take responsibility for your own life and what happens in it.
Other things and people can certainly aid you quite a bit. But you are responsible.
 
You can go around blaming society or some people for your problems in your
social life. Or finances. Or health. You can always find scapegoats to judge to feel

better about yourself. You can look for people that will "fix you". You can do this
for the rest of your life if you like. It won't change much. Whatever has to be done,
it's you who have to take responsibility and do it.
 
Yeah, things might always not go your way. You'll fall and stumble and you will
probably have bad luck from time to time.
 
But you still have to focus on yourself and on doing what you can do with what you
have in whatever situation that may arise in your world.

In sobriety we are the one who is responsible for completing Step 1 completely or we fail over and over again.
To move onto the other 11 Steps , first you have to accomplish the first step on your own.

You can do this, however only by yourself. No one can keep you from drinking.
 
Have a wonderful weekend!

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Getting Hired When Your Sober

If your in a position like myself, getting hired is tough when there is literally no positions available. I live in Midland , Texas and this is oil field country. If you are a truck driver or have what is called fracing experience, you can have a job right away. If you are sober and looking to stay sober then you have to find a job that will not stress you out so much. When I sobered up I had very few skills and it hurts you when you get older and want to work, as companies will look the other way if you had no experience with the job in which is offered. My biggest problem is I am getting the interviews but I am competing with about 200 people for this one job. It is a statistical nightmare when I think I have the job only to find out they have found someone else better qualified. I am going on 6 months now and I do do part time work in fixing computers on my own. I work half my day driving for Uber and fixing personal computers and half the day searching online for jobs and applying.

There is no reason to drink about my situation , as it will not help me get a job. I also attend quite a few AA meetings as this is good for networking for work. However, in the oil patch things are starting to pick up and when this happens all industry picks up in this small city. I have thought about moving and that thought is still in the air, as I have a home that is paid for and family in this area. I will give it a few more months before I make a city move but not much longer. Health insurance is expensive but I have been able to keep on with my provider, and staying busy writing has helped when I get bored . Try to stay busy because idle hands gets us into trouble , but surely there is  a job out there for me. God willing and I do have a strong conviction to my Lord that he will help me in finding my next career move. Don't let up on the program of AA as you will need it even more right now to keep yourself sane.

If your in my place with not a full time job you know what I am going through. Part of this has been my fault for letting go of jobs that I should of held onto. I will admit I made a few mistakes and I am paying for this move right now. Please have a job before you leave one, as I did not do this a few times, I just quit and that will piss off the employer and make your resume stink, but there are ways around this mess, you just have to be creative. Stay sober and work through your life and consider all posibilities you can and God will help. Have a great day. Chris Hyer

Monday, January 9, 2017

Love in the New Year Sober

It has been some time since I have written in this blog. I have had ups and downs every single day. I had a up on December 30th a girl called me and express an interest. I have know her for a while but I always said the wrong things I guess and we never met. She is in the AA program and we went out for the last week, almost everyday. I really enjoy this woman and she seemed to enjoy me. I guess you could say I feel in love very quickly and when she did not feel the same it drove me fucking crazy. When a person text another person and then leaves them hanging you know you said something wrong. I got that twice and I don't understand all the crap she has gone through but it must of be devastating to her. She is 6 years sober and I am 7 years sober. We were going to AA meetings together and out to eat and even a kiss now and then. Love , is something I have not experienced in years with the opposite sex, and so my heart was broken when she had other plans the last few days.

I told her how I felt and she did not answer back on text. SO I waited then waited, and nothing. I have never felt like bursting into a rage or tears. I did not know what I did or said to piss her off. However , I realize we all have our own things to do in this life. When someone new comes in the door, you either make room for them or you don't. I guess I thought she felt the same and she might , She just has a hard time with men because she has ben shit on so many times. I don't do that to women, I never have except when I was drinking so I discovered I have new emotions that I have not felt since marriage. Strange as it is I love this girl , and no I have not had sex with her, she just fits perfectly with what I have been looking for. I am going to have to give her space and that drives me crazy. Anyway, I am gaining new experiences daily and some are good and some are just mind blowing.Chris Hyer

Friday, June 3, 2016

Sobriety and the Internet "huh"

Well, interesting enough, I started writing this blog about 7 years ago and I have about 400 readers monthly . So you are reading what was intended on being a personal journal abut my sobriety and living life. Thank you for finding an interest in this blog. I don't care if a thousand people read this a month, I am not making any money for it..Anyway, I had my AA Birthday night last week and 20 people turned out to listen to what I had to say. It really was a large crowd for my group as we are a small group of usually about 6- 10 people showing up to meetings. I was glad that there were people interested in what I had to say.
I wrote most of what I wanted to say down before going to the meeting as I was the only speaker. There was a fellow from the treatment center, called La Hacienda that was there, he was alright I guess. Treatment centers trip me out. They take all your money when you go into one and if you have no previous association with AA , it can really throw you for a loop. Especially if you don't stay sober when your 30 days are up. Then you lost about 60k from La Hacienda and then they beg you to come back. Shit, I understand that a lot of celebrities and musicians go to this treatment center, even more than the Betty Ford clinic in California. You would think there would be some type of warranty with your money. I guess what I am saying is that if you have not fallen off a cliff and lost everything , please get yourself some free help from the Salvation Army or something like this organization. It is no country club , but I have been there in Ft Worth and I did stay sober for about 4 years because the damn place scared the crap out of me. Scared straight!! Maybe that is the answer instead of expensive country club spa locations that cater to the rich and famous.

These are only my opinions but in real life when you get out of the country club setting , you might still have a job and a house and a spouse but nine times out of ten most have lost all. This is not true for everyone, granted we all hit our own bottom when we decide it or alcohol and drugs have taken our money and cars and caused relationships to dry up. There is hope for everyone, including myself. staying sober for eight years is the most I have ever been like this and I don't ever see myself going back to the old way of living because I was not living, I was dying..

Truth, is I am living a great life, now. Yes , there are some downfalls, but I am hitting them straight on with honesty and truthfulness.It is so much better than all the lies I use to tell people tomake myself feel good, and I did feel good when I was high or stoned. I feel good straight now also, and it takes a few months or years to feel like I do right now. I would be a fool to go back to the past and re-live my whole crushing living with booze and drugs. I think about it at times that I had fun parties, but in reality, I was not having that much fun. I was drunk or high and just existing in my body. We all have addiction traits , like to chocolate or ice cream. However , they do not change the way you think or communicate with the world. They are fun addictions that need control. I drink Swepps Soda Water all the time and I am addicted to the bubbles and frosty feel in my mouth. It is like a ber , if you know where I am coming from. I even get virgin Bloody Mary drinks at the bar sometimes because I like them. However , I don't go to the bar on a monthly basis. I am pretty much working at something everyday. I feel like I am excelling in every day and accomplishing something as stupid as washing my clothes or taking the dog for a walk. These are things I never did when I was using alcohol or drugs. in the past I just sat at home and painted some pretty far out pictures with oil paint and got high, I saw stuff and painted them. They were graphic and I can even do this sober, but it took a while for my artistic self to realize I did not need to smoke a joint to paint. I guess we never forget the past and remeber the good times more than the bad. I think that is where AA helps me out. I wish you al a good weekend and I hope you enjoy my blog. Keep coming back it just gets more and more interesting I think..lol  Christopher Hyer

Sunday, November 29, 2015

After a Sober Thanksgiving Day in 2015

Thanksgiving in my family is very widespread. My brother and siter live in two different cities in Texas and California. My mother and Father both are re-married live close by . This year I was sick on Thanks giving day and being 52 and on a holiday  day, I would guess being sick is ok. When I was a youger person I always thought families should get together and celebrate the Holidays. When you get my age life sure does change. My family does get together in spurts over the year, it's like no one single time of the year, but it does happen. I am thankful for so many things in life, but most of all, that I am sober again for the seventh year of my life in a row.

It has not been hard staying sober for over seven years, but there have been challenges , and of course I am being challenged right now. Therefor , I was thinking about this blog that I have been writing for some time. It really is not mean't to be for everyone in the world to know about me. It is for me to look back every once in a while to see how I have grown or not grown.

I have had employment problems all my life, as I must be an entrepreneur , cause I have so many ideas and I usually go for them, and try them out. Many failures, so many I could not list them all. However it makes me know what is do able and what is not. I am very good at internet SEO work and I have proven it in many ways. I sell on eBay and I am am very good at this. I sell through retail arbitrage and drop-shipping, I just got back into this cause the money is pretty good, and I need more money to suffice my bills. I also drive for Uber, but the money in this little city is not very good with the driving job as there are more drivers than riders at this point in time, but when I turn the app on , ready to take calls, I get a sense of I am trying to at least get that one rider. I don't give up anymore.

When I drank I would start something and end it before I knew if it would pay off, so I probably have missed many opportunities, but I don't look back. I keep moving forward in my mind and with the help of the spirit of the Lord to keep my head up and face life, in truth . Yes, truth, and honesty seem to be one answer to the sober man that is living the sober life. I have nothing to lie about nor can I. Just like that Jim carry movie,"Liar,Liar" , I just can't tell a lie. I bullshit a lot when I drive and have a rider with me, but those are not lies, just ideas I have on my mind. I like Uber for that fact when it gets lonely, God seems to put a rider call in for me and I converse with the person no matter whom it is. I am a glorified Taxi driver at times. lol

Like is good and it could be better, and I am still making music in my recording studio. I post on Soundcloud.com and I do not have any followers , but it's like this blog . I am not trying to impress anyone but myself. I was thinking a few minutes ago, that when I am about 70 years old , I will put this blog in a book and have it for my son. He does not read my blog I don't think and I don't tell anyone about it. The blog your reading gets about 20 hits a day, so someone out there is reading my stuff. I probably am boring the hell out of you.

Sobriety affects the family and in a positive manner after the frst few years, because they ( the family) trust you now. They don't think you have any problems anymore. They tend to forget the past , but it could just be me. I am trusted and that feels awesome to know they love me for what I am not doing which is drinking or drugs.They mention this sometimes or I'll have a friend ask me when I quit and I don't make a big deal out of it, but it is a big deal to me. I go to AA every week and maybe two or three times, and I go for the fellowship more than anything else. It is like going to Bible school, for me. We talk about God and what he has done for us today and where we have been, so in reality we still hold on to the past in many ways, but not letting it effect our future. There are those in AA that just cannot grasp the idea of letting God into their lives and they keep drinking and then come back into the meetings and try again. I cannot do anything like this. I made a commitment to myself and God to stop ths crazy behavior seven years ago. I do not want to re-live the past nor do I want to forget where I was , that is what keeps me sober on a daily basis. I wish you well, whoever is reading my blog and hope you are getting something out of this in a good way..Christopher 11/29/2015

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Uber Time For this Fellow Alcoholic

I have a little more spare time with losing my job or do I? I have been driving for Uber and making decent money to pay my bills in the West Texas area. Where there is a will and a way you can find your answers by praying for God and to him. As a recovering alcoholic I find that my work with Uber has been humbling from the start. It is really a cool job  , except for all the down time that I have no calls. However if you work it or stay on the App for long enough each and every day , I am making a little more money than I was with my last company.
 Is this  wonderful that I can leave my former job and find money driving my car, and actuallly make my bills? I think miracles from God come in many shapes and sizes. For my case I get to attend more AA meetings and have more free time, and yet I am working probably harder now then ever. How do I mean by this?
 I have started to think of ways to make a living where I am in control..Hahah..Sounds familiar to the alcoholic that has recovered, but in reality God is in control of my thoughts of self-employment. I have decided to start a need for a shopping service in Midland , Texas and there is no compitition in this market. I have found a template to work with and have made a business plan, ( which I would of never done if drinking), and things seem to add up just right. Will it be easy, no .However anything that is easy reaps no benefits and I am aware of this with my seven years of sobriety. I am not really counting the years of being sober, but brought that up to show those of you how one's mind can be straighten up and clear as to seing new objectives coming my way.
 With Uber I do 12 step work in helping people that have drank too much get home safe and no in trouble with the law and get paid for this, What a deal this is and it bothers me not one bit at all. Of course this is temporary but the money and people are all good. This is a God send for people out of work with a newer vehicle to use this platform in a way to make money. You also meet some reallly nice people in the world this way. Sober ones and not so sober ones.
 Do I preach Aa? Yes and no, I explain I am a recovered alcoholic and some wonder how to stop. I explain how I did, and answer any questions someone may have. It is a great feeling to be a rescue of sorts to others whom are strangers...
 In the long run if I was not sober right this minute I would be a wreck!! No doubt about this, however I have learned how to forgive and forget the bad. I have learned how to ove those that my or may not like me. I seem to shine when I have a new rider with me and I always have something to ask them. I am curious as to what they do and why they do what they do. I try not to ask to many questions and the drunks are some of the nicest people I have met. Most just slur thier words but I have to give them credit for not being stupid and driving. It's funny how I can not relate to most of them, cause I would of driven my car where these smart social drinkers take Uber instead cause they know the consequences of driving while having too much to drink, I give them dredit for responsibility to thier selves and others.
 I am no saint I just try to live by the 12 steps in AA and I try to adhere to most of them throughout my daily grind of driving and waiting. I am treated with respect and did not know that would happen. Maybe I bring something to these people that ride with me. I know when they smile they are comfortable with me as a driver and friend for just a few minutes and this is rewarding. Humbling oneself is very good for the soul and I am doing just that. I am not at home complaining that things are not going my way they are going in a direction I would of not picked if I were stilll using. Only those with sobrioty can understand what I must be talking about. Sober life is a good life and even though there are trials and situations I do not agree with they flutter off my shoulder and I rest in peace while I go through the day. Remeber this is not for you, this is for my self, I am selfish but I am loveable and a great man. I have become this though the program of AA and those that love me , yes even my family see I am doing something with my life and loving Chris for what he is doing. This would not be true if I was to start drinking again. So onward with sobriety and through the fog I see the light and it is good..God Bless Christopher Hyer

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Sober The Tough Times

I have not written for a while now and I guess things were going to good. I have lost my job with 2 years behind my belt. Was I being unreasonable , I don't think so. I was up for a pay raise and the company wanted me to go into Production Printing . I had no problem with moving up but not with the salary they were paying me or not willing to pay me. The company found a minute issue with my job performance and decided I did not deserve a raise this year. I informed them through email I did in fact deserve a raise and I was professional in asking for this raise. Anyway I am now a official Uber driver in Midland, Texas with hardly any rides this week.

Staying sober through all this has been a challenge but the obsession to drink has been taken away for many years now, In fact I have seven years sobriety , so going out and getting drunk was not an option this time. I got on my high horse and stated selling on eBay and making quite a bit of money drop-shipping products form other retail outlets, until eBay caught on and put a hold on my account, for drop-shipping, I worked hard on this website listing more than 300 items to sell and then a complete stop by eBay and I was not in violation of anything wrong. They wanted me to verify who I was and where I got my products from. I told them the truth and sent the required documents then they wanted them again. I said Hell no, I am not going to provide any more information as I already have done this twice. I can't figure eBay out I was making about 4000 per week in net income from doing this and it was a headache, but God must have other things in mind for me.

Living life on life's terms is a hard thing to do at times, but God has brought me through many difficult times and I am sending out Resumes to everyone. In Midland , Texas it was booming with oil prices in the 80 to 100 a barrel prices but now that it is down to 4-0 dollars its dead out here. The bust has set in and the jobs are not there like they were a year ago. Like I said I am writing this journal so I can look back at my life as it progressess. It would appear that I am degressing at this point in my life, but I am not.

It is called change, and God knows I have changed for the better and he will choose what is best for me next. It is the waiting game that kind of throws me off. You see I am wanting results now, and I am working at anything I can to lessen the burden of having to borrow from anyone to pay my bills right now. I have sources that are willing to help me, and I am putting them off the best I can because I can make it. I might have to borrow from someone to get through this stage but not for long and the good thing about being sober, is the trust factor that people have with me now. In the past no one would of been willing to help me out in the situation I am in now. So staying off of drugs and drinking does pqay off in more than a few ways for me.

God , I hope whoever reads this realize I am not perfect in any way. I am just sober trying to live by God's will not mine, but I do have to put things into action as I am doing. I don't sit around watching Television or anything like that. I am not depressed as I know something better is headed my way, cause that has been the case through seven years of believeing in a higher power , which is God whom love you and me, and ask for his help in our time of needs. God Bless..Christopher

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

The Changing Sober Times In April 2015

Every day is a new day, we have to accept things we do not want to accept at times. Changes in and around us, affect us and we have to let go. If not , we get caught up in the hoop of poor me syndrome!! I , personally have been having the blues a bit lately, maybe because my birthday just past and i am now 52 and the world is moving strangely in a direction not familiar with most people.

 I live in Midland, Texas and you know about the Walmarts that have been closing in and sround the Midland, Texas area and other areas of the country. It is none of my business what the reason is and it does seem a little bit unreal, with all the conspiracy theories surrounding this and the military exercises that are taking place just around the corner from this city and possibly in the city.

We live one day at a time, and if we stay close to God miracles will happen just like staying sober. There is nothing to fear but fear itself!!! If you have a reason to be fearful it is normal, in a since. However to stress out and wonder about the future is not a correct assessment of what sober humans do. We are just a drink away from knocking ourselves into oblivion and possible death. The disease of Alcoholism is a punishment we all have lived with and yet if you are like me, it has been a wonderful enlightening way of life.

Yes, it is different to stay sober during times where we have no control. I have to speak for myself, I want control even being sober at times and yet I have to re- learn that I have no control over people, places and events. I believe in a loving God and no one can take that from me. No one will take this from me!!I pray for good health and for my family and friends and I have done this for over seven years of sobriety. May 2015 will be my seventh year without any substance to alter my mind. Therfor this is a milestone I have not ever past before.

I have grown up as a man and learned new ways of living without close codependency upon my family and learned to pay my bills on time and keep healthy by visiting a Dr. when needed. What else can a person do but hit AA meetings when you feel the need or at least for me it is about twice a week if not more at times when I am a little bit out of whack with the universe. I get a little bit paranoid some days , and then I have to remember that God is with me and he understands why I am who I am..I pray every single hour at times even while I drive during work and this helps me in a way that only a true recovered Alcoholic can understand or some religious person that believes in a spirit that is bigger then him or her. That is one point I have to remember is God is Huge!!!He is spirit , He is in me, He is my father.He either is everything or nothing , it says in the Big book. He is everything to me. 

My baby Lab watching me eat in the kitchen!!!
I have to know that I am OK with me!!In writing about these things I am OK with whom I am and have become. I am only a man living in a society that is messed up and I let God carry me at times to point A to connect with point B , because I do not have the will at times. It's easy to forget God is in our lives, with so much crap in this world. However I have learned to take a meditation break and just lay down on the couch and talk with God and ask questions to him for 30 minutes, and I sem to be good to move on day by day!!God Bless The USA....Christopher...

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

New Year 2015 And Sober Ice Storms

It is about to be the new year 2015, Wow, how could it be!! I never really partied with anyone on New Years, I was always at home drinking and smoking. I didn't want to get a DWI or anything.I was a smart drinker in some ways, and that was one of them. If I knew I was going to drink more than one beer, I stayed at home..There was a DWI I got when I was a kid at 17 and that reflected back to what not to do. Driving and drinking do not mix with me. I could drive better is what  I thought, and to this day I still think that I drove better when I had a few beers, but those days are long gone.

In Midland, we are having a Ice storm of sorts. The roads are closed and no traffic is in sight. It is in the teens in temperature, and I am stuck at home with my dog. I am still working though. I have training on different machines always, so I get paid for being at home training. Not too bad of a deal. It is lunch time and I felt like writing a bit so here it is.

When you are cabin bound like I am now, it brings back some old memories of what I use to do. I am glad I do not drink anymore, but if not sober I sure would go and buy a 12 pack and sit here andd play my guitar with a Cig hanging out my mouth and slopping the beer down..My neighbors would probably call the police cause I like to play loud rock, and that would be no good, I might get a PI. SO I think since I have almost 6 years of sobriety that writing is the best bet and doing my work online is even better, I can keep my job..

There is always two sides to a coin and which side you chose will make your day..I chose today to keep on living sober and I have..Being homebound because of Ice on the roads is ok..I just have to be creative in what I do so I don't get bored.In this town I live in each day I must be creative even after work or I might go gambling , online or at the casino, and this is not good either. One habit to another..It seems like I get addicted to most anything I touch or do that gives me a rush..Do you feel this way? It could be almost anything that gets my adrenaline going...I call it idle hands syndrome, and I have it bad sometimes.

That is why I write this blog is for no other reason thatn to communicate with you and myself. It is more of a diary than anything else. I look over the years and see where I progressed and where I did not.I have come a long way since I was 45 and drinking, and nothing can stop me now..I hope this has helped someone out there, but I am selfish and if this does not help anyone, so be it..I have to grab some lunch and do some work so I will leave you with this. Do not drive and drink..Period...Christopher