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Showing posts with the label Grateful

Sobriety and Being Alone

You are never alone. You might think so since there is no one in the house with you. But really, God is with you or your higher power is near you if you are sober right now. I thought about this since I am usually alone at night. However, I have a Labrador that I love and treat her like a human. plus the almighty spirit I call God, to whom sees my actions and keeps me from loneliness every single day. It takes a little bit of time to accept this. However, with myself and what I do for work, I know God is with me during the day and the night. He never runs away, he is in me. I'm not God but I believe the spiritual God I worship is inside me. That is how he can tell me when the oven is hot don't touch it with my hand. If I start thinking stupid drinking thoughts, he rids these almost immediately. I never thank him enough. I don't think a person could love his God as I do mine. You have to love yourself a little bit for God to come into your soul and speak to you. Maybe not w…

Saying Thank You for Sobriety

I get caught up in myself and I need to remember to say Thank You, to those who have to listen to my bullshit and even read my blog. This blog makes no money, and I never set out to make any money from it. This is just a way I can get matters off my chest and remember what I have done stupid and smart. I have a lot of problems in my sobriety but I am sober. That was my main goal, right. I still dabble in stuff I should keep my nose out of, but I am not perfect and I am interested in the health as Americans are of the age of CBD and Marijuana Legalization. Pretty darn confusing, and maybe it is meant to be this way. I am in my mid-50s and I knew that Marijuana would be legalized when I reached this age, I really did but it seems like our country is split on politics and now states are separate from the Federal government. Just crazy shit like this could make a person want to get loaded. However AA is still around and my feelings towards alcohol are yes, it is there, so fucking what. I …

Mothers Day Stay Sober Today May 13th 2018

It's Mothers Day and one thing I can do is stay sober 24 hours for my self and my Mother who has put up
 with me and my crap for so long. My mother is still living and age 81 and she is in good spirits and health and looks much younger, however, I can see the age starting to change in her. I am 55 myself, so I am very blessed to have my mom around and living and she is still wanting to love me and be around me. What a woman I can say that no one compares to my mom, and you can probably say the same about your mom. If you drink, just for today try not to drink around your mother, 24 hours, just one day. I know how hard it can be, but it might be a start for you to have eternal life granted back into your soul.

God grants us the serenity to move on with our lives and even when we make mistakes he grants those mistakes and if you ask for forgiveness, that will be granted also. How do I know, because I am a sinner and I make bad choices every day, I try not to make decisions that will…

Alcoholic ? Now How Can I be One if I Don't Drink Anymore

I have a problem with AA. How could I be an alcoholic if I freakin don't drink anymore? Good question I think and I am sure if you are a recovering or recovered alcoholic you had to ask this question to your self. Is it because we call ourselves alcoholics to impress others in AA. I would like to stand up and say "Hello I'm Chris and I am here to learn how to live life without drugs or alcohol, can you help me"?Maybe someone has said this in a meeting. I should because that is why I go to AA meetings and to learn how to live through the Big Book of AA is fine in the 1930s when it was written at least the initial book. I find a lot of biblical information on how I should live in this book, but does it need to be rewritten to the time we are now living in?

I listen to old timers say the same old shit day after day sometimes, and I can tell you what they are doing right now. They are at an AA meeting telling the same old shit again, sometimes three or four times a day a…

Living For Today Sober

Sometimes I get my head all confused about what I am going to be doing a few days or months ahead of myself, and I get real nervous. This is not good for your health but living for the day you are in is a good way for living. You can take daily living for what it is. You wake up , start your day with questions or prayers and then if you work you go and do the work that is assigned to you. Sounds pretty cut and dry, but what about other people that are in your life at work and at home. You have to deal with traffic and your car, also Dr. appointments and other things that go along with plain old living. Then you have the occasional surprises the good and the bad, and you learn how to deal with these once they come up.

Living day to day is not easy, for anyone, if you think about it. However if you do just a little bit of pre planning it can be a fun and enthusiastic day for you. My days vary with work as a technician and I run into many mechanical problems that I have to guess the righ…

Darkness for the Alcoholic and Drug User

I have been very busy at work and loving my job. I am making good money, probably the best I have ever made. No problems with my boss or anything, able to afford to buy a new car. I have everything, sobriety, a new car , a life. What happened. I was tempted last night to start smoking pot .

So why would I start smoking pot when all is going good? I did not think about the negative or darkness that I might be putting myself into again, its has been almost 9 years now with no drinking or drugs, then on a Saturday night, I get the urge to smoke pot. I found a person on CL and i went to meet him with 140.00 in cash to buy some Hydro Pot. I meet with this guy I don't know and he jumps in my new car and I give him the money and he dispersal
..lol He fucking ran off with my cash. Was I mad , no. That was weird, this guy just took my cash and hauled ass. I actually thought that I was buying from a guy that needed to get rid of what he had and went to his car to get my drug. I waited only …

Grateful For What God Has So Freely Given Me

It is easy for me to get lost in my problems with life and forget to be grateful for those things in which God has given me. It is easy to get lost in the confusion of the day and realize that I am sober from alcohol and drugs and should be grateful that God has given me the strength to carry forward in this life. I am grateful to be able to type this at 8:00 AM on Friday morning because eight years ago I sure would of not been doing this blog. I was always hung over and to combat the hangover I would smoke a joint upon waking then the cycle of the addiction would take over my day.

I believe we all have all sorts of issues we have to deal with on a daily basis. The best way I prepare for the next day is to not expect that I will have another next day, I give it to God in prayer at night and ask him to do for me what I can't do for myself and to guide me , that is about it. Upon waking the next morning , surprise phone calls or seeing my dog wag her tail at me in enthusiasm is a wo…