Showing posts with label Being Sober. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Being Sober. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Living Sober and "The act of normality"

What is a normal person? This question is one in which I think has several different possibilities. Is an alcoholic a normal person? Could be , depends how you look at society. Society has a lot of people who drink alcohol. If you ask me , I think most people drink alcohol, I just assume this as normal. Also in reality I think there are a lot of problems with these people who continue to drink and their everyday lives. Alcohol, can really taste good but can it really improve yourself? I think it can temporarily make a person think he is better than he is and possibly think he is on top of the world and or some type of God. However that is my perception of the world. Or should I say the USA. The United States probably has more alcoholics than any other country.
Normal is a word for people who appear to have their act together with family, wealth and finances and perfect marriages, which we know is not true. If we were all so called normal then we would have no problems and life would have a lot of rose colored cheeks on peoples faces with big smiles. I don't see that every where, but I do see it at times. To be normal is to be your self , the good and the bad, hopefully the bad will go away if you want it to or will it to.

In the dictionary "Normal" means, " conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.", so I guess I am normal and maybe you are also. We just have problems which are normal as well. 

Some people are above the normal state , in money and in their living habits, we all want something we don't have. Try to be happy with your normaily and being a recovering alcoholic is perfectly a normal state of being.Chris 

Monday, June 12, 2017

Service Work For AA Chair a Meeting

I have been volunteered to chair meetings for my home group in Midland, Texas for Monday nights. I use to chair quite a bit back a few years ago, and I have time to do it now. It is always interesting to see who comes to my meetings and how a short topic can sometimes draw such a large response. There are some who come in that have never been to a AA meeting and you have to make them feel welcome, and I try to do this, but then their are the regular ones that show up every night we have meetings, and then there are the court appointed people that come because they have to..It is always a little strange taking the lead of a AA meeting because all eyes are on you. Some look up to you others judge you , and that is just life. I am not much of a talker except when it comes to the solution and I can't quote phrases from the Big Book, but I don't give a damn. I am not that hard core into memorizing something that I carry on me into meetings. It does give me something useful to do on a Monday night so be it. I will run a discussion group talking about anything alcohol or drug related, and I will gritt my teeth and wish I was not there at times. It is all about being a par tof the solution so if you get a chance , chair a meeting every once in a while. I have changed a few people thoughts and they recognize me at other meetings and this is the big pay off for me. I actually help some people out , and that is what AA and staying sober , doing service work is all about. Chris

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Enjoy Your Kids Sober

I am very blessed with a fine young man that is my son. He does not live with myself , but he is 23 also. He is so very special even from day one. He was and is a quite young man and handsome , he does not smoke or drink , and never has done drugs or even said a cuss word for all I know. Almost incredible , I know. He is my Angel from God , and I do worry about him as he isolates himself because he has Autism or some form of this , and he is a happy guy at least. He lives with his mom and her husband , which I am glad he does, as I worry about his down time. They seem to keep a good eye out for him. He is one of the major reasons I got sober and it was to do with court and my ex wife. But time passes and he grew up with a dad that has always loved him. He never has let me down, which I cannot say about myself. I let my parents down all the time for over thirty years. I only cared about what Chris could get out of them. I was not responsible and even being a sober man of my age , stll have problems with responsibility issues, with a lot of issues in that fact.

AA has helped me get a grip on life, as I don't push AA on people, this is a very private thing , however I do make it known at times, because I want to. I live each day grateful that I have what I do , such as my son. If I had a son that was like me growing up , I could not afford to get him out of trouble like I was. I never hurt anyone on purpose, but that is what alcoholics do, and don't realize, is we hurt the ones we love the most. This thought never even hit my head until I sobered up. My son , thank God, never saw me in a state of being drunk , because I did not want him to see me this way. He was and still to an extent a little bit in awe about what alcohol and drugs have done to me. He ask questions and I tell him the truth. However he loves me and lately I see more of him because he wants to see me. This has recently been the case. He drives over and sometimes we just don't know what to do with each other. We sit in quite and peace and maybe that is what he likes when he comes over. I don't want to bore him, yet I isolate myself pretty good , and I am still working on this. In a town such as Midland , the number one thing to do is go to nightclubs for the single set. I have not even stepped into a bar in over eight years, as I know this is not for me. I stay home and watch TV or get on the computer and browse for sport cars I can't afford. I always stay busy doing something that is beneficial to my brain or just resting on occasion.It is hard to really know what the real normal people do in their lives. I seem to think I might be acting like one now. They don't sit around and drink theirs elves into oblivion like i use to and light up a joint and watch TV. I did this for so many years that eight years of not doing this has thrown me off. I am working at this however, slowly but surely I am regaining a little bit of sense to my life.
God makes sure that we live in the moment, and this is difficult at times and God loves you and me. The future I try to let God inform me, but this is difficult as I am the one who acts on my feelings. I pray and pray, but I am not struggling with a alcohol problem now, it is just a living problem. I guess this is just life.Have a good Night. Chris Hyer

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Sober and What Becomes when We stay Sober

I have a lot on my plate lately, but it has been good and different. Lost my step father, however , I know he is with God. I am
not sad, just motivated to start my life on a new turn.I have been lookig for another job, as the one I have is not what I like to do. I have prayed about this daily and my prayers are coming true. I have had a few consultants call me on jobs that I like to do. Times in Midland are booming again with the oil field picking up and that brings in more business and retail shops, plus high prices.I will take advantage of the time I have and focus on the reality of being sober and alive. At times , I feel really lonely but then I get a glimpse of how lucky and fortunate I have in my life. I am thankful that I am not in a wheel chair , I am thankful I have some money, and food, plus a house that has musical instruments for me to pass the time, and hopefully get better.I have more than I deserve in material things, and yes most of it has been put o credit cards, so work has to continue.I like work and meeting new people, and I like doing certain types of work. Now I have a choice and that makes life a bit easier. However I am sober,and if not for AA and my program I could not feel this way. When a person gets off the beer or whatever, they have plenty of free time, at first . Then after a few years you realize this free time is just not there for drinking. I look back and made my free time available for smoking pot and drinking beer. I did not get much out of it except for misery in the end.

 This misery has stopped eight years ago, however it does get replaced by something called isolation time. This isolation time is not too good either, a little bit is ok. To rest and pray and relax is all good and healthy, but not all day long...lol...I think my age of 54 is starting to slip it's ugly head in, as I know what I want but at times what I want is not what others want . I do miss having a girl to love, I have met one recently in AA and she was a sweetheart , so I thought, then she shut me down like I did not exist, so beware of other alcoholics that you might like to date. We are still sick in a fashion, just not sick from doing the wrong things. God Bless Chris Hit THE FOLLOW BUTTON FOR MORE

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Tuesday Sober and Working

Well I made it through my first day on Monday and it was all pretty good. My trainer is a good person and very easy to get along with. He has a great attitude. Today is the real test because I will be doing the job I was hired for and seeing how I like it. I must like it because there is nothing else to do. I think this will work out to be a good job ass I get to travel a little and the only bad part is the waking up at 4:30 AM to get ready to go. But that is a small price to pay in order to have a paying job. I have gotten a little relaxed in the waking up department but today was not bad. It is better to be sober and waking up and doing the things that normal people do. That is what sobriety is all about is waking up to a new day and doing Gods work and trying to do my best for God. I can only do so much but I am heaalthy and I am eager so with these qualities I shoulld be alright. God Bless..Chris

Friday, April 21, 2017

The Weekend and Sobriety

Well it is Friday 4/21/2017 and I lived another day. That is a miracle in itself. I take these days for granted now and expect them to come along every day, but the truth is we never know if we will wake up everyday.To make today and this weekend special, make sure you act as if this is your last day on earth, What would you do differently? How would you react to a future situation.We all have regrets about the past and how would we make up for them today? God has given us a new life to live everyday and what we do with it has meaning to God and to our friends.Being sober for over a while , means you possibly will not drink today unless something really bothers you and you decide its time to go back to hell.I chose to live in the moment today and see how it turns out,doing the right things in life.I am not perfect nor proclaim I am. I have problems and I have bills. I wish a lot for stuff that I do not need but want,Im a little greedy..lol..Its ok to be yourself just as long as you dont hurt someone else. Be kind today and smile...Chris

Thursday, April 20, 2017

The Sober Life Daily

I have had a pretty good week. I am waiting for my new job to start. I start on Monday and I will be traveling every week with this job. I like the idea of getting out of town, but there is not much social life to traveling unless I make it. I can hit AA meetings in other cities at night and take my guitars with me and practice in the room, so I will have most of the comforts of home. Living daily sober takes changes evry now and then. It seems like I am changing everything at times to stay sober and making a living. This is good as my life progresses into a middle aged man that was once a drunk with a hangover every day. I would have to say daily I am grateful for my life and the things I have aquired and people that I have met in the AA program that has changed my thought pattern and life.I have had ups and owns but have dealt with this with God and others who know where I am in my recovery. It is a full time job staying sober. However faith without works is death.

Life is complicaated as you might make it or it can be a fulfilling promise of all the good in the world. I would like to think I am seeing good right now. I have a girlfriend who cares about me, she is in the program. Of course this type of relationship is confusing at times.So enjoy the sober life today and rock on with God.Chris

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Everything happens, When nothing seems Possible Sober

Well, I have had a great weekend. I started off with getting hired for a job that requires a lot of traveling and this is fine. Followed by a girlfriend of mine who came back into my life and wanted to go out Friday night. When things look bleak in sobriety, beware because something big is probably about to happen for the good. I have been a little depressed over the last few weeks , and I still kept my head up high knowing that something good would become from all the resumes I have put out and staying busy with my program and AA. It never fails as God comes into my life daily even though I feel he has left me, and brings me big surprises. That is how sobreity works, not expecting anything really and when your down keep busy helping others and it will come back to help you. That is how eight years of living has been for me. I forget at times this rule of thumb. God never forgets me however, he just keeps me outside of myself and I get loaded up with ideas of what I can do to make life better for myself and my friends.

Don't give in or give up when you are sober and this is an easy thing to do when alll in life is not where you want to be at. In time God will listen and change your direction and guide you in a way that might not be your way but his way of getting you out of situations that use to baffle us. We use to drink when we could not find an answer or drink because we found an answer. However drinking did us no long term good, in the short term drinking let us forget the past, and future of our problems. Then you wake up and wonder why you feel like shit and the same roller coaster ride begins again and again. I can honestly say I don't miss that about drinking. Hope you have a good day. Chri

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Music and The Sober Musician

I am a musician and record my work in my home. I am fortunate enough to have almost every instrument I could need in order to play the music I like. My taste in music is mostly hardcore rock to mellow ballads. I am eight years sober and I remember when I stated playing
again after I got sober, and nothing came to my mind to play. Over the years my mind has opened up and I just play what I enjoy hearing and sometimes it actually sounds pretty decent. I am not a professional musician , however I have played in bands most of my life for fun and enjoyment. I prefer not to play in a band right now because I don't need to get wired up in a bar and start drinking and playing. It is tempting to do this but , my sobriety is not worth the headaches and pain of starting to drink for fun again. I would be back on the roller coaster of drinking every day. The big book of AA talks about the casual drinker and the thoughts of one day being able to drink like normal people, but I am far past normal.lol

I think it is good therapy to play music , even if you suck. The enjoyment of making a sound and enhancing this sound can bring a smile to your face. It does this for me, and even though I have to force myself at times to go into the recording studio at home and get the electric guitars out of their cases and hook them up and plug the computers up to perform and make adjustments to the sounds ,. It is a work in progress and a few of my friends really enjoy my tunes. When I play I go somewhere else in my head and I don't think much about anything but my sounds. So it is calming effect for a person to just set down and play these tunes and enjoy what he hears. I highly suggest you get an instrument you might like and learn to play. It is great for your health and mental well being. Have a great day Chris

Sunday, April 9, 2017

"The Shack" a Book about a conception of God

I have been reading a book called , "The Shack", I am not an avid reader but a member of AA was talking on night about the different conceptions of God that we all have. This book and movie is right on target with a person's conception of God and it is really an enjoyment to read. The movie has already come out and I was able to see this movie and it seemed to follow the book pretty well. I highly suggest this to those who have a problem with AA and the God conception in our lives. Yes, I know the book is fiction but in reality it could be the truth. It is a joyful book about a tragedy
that has happened to this man and his family, but ends on a good note. To stay sober means one has to believe in a power greater than himself. This is proven over and over in AA meetings and in my personal life. Sometimes we might feel that God has failed us, but if you look deeper , he may be teaching us a lesson that makes us better human beings. For those who do not believe in a God , if you stick around AA and hear the miracles of the different people speaking , you will have to believe in something that is more powerful than you are. Kepp your mind open and your heart full of love, and help others that may be trying to recover just like yourself. To stay outside of yourself can be hard to do , but once you do this activity , you will feel the goodness that becomes over your spirit and body.

I am not expert in AA and yes I have my problems in life, but they are part of living in a world full of obstacles that can set you apart from the creator. I am guilty of so many things in my life but I ask for forgiveness and I receive this at times. We all have reality in which we have to live in , and to isolate ourselves is a dangerous thing to do, but very easy to get into the habit of isolation. Try to do the things you want to do that wil help someone else and this isolation will go away for a while. I am guilty of this isolation in this smal town I live in as I say well ther is nothing to do. However there is plenty to do at my home and with other people that might make a difference in your life. Have a good Week. Chris

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Good Things About being Sober

Monday I went to San Antonio with my AA sponsor to a meeting in which my sponsor Eddie was to speech
. We had a good time talking on the trip down there and then we hit the meeting in town and he got a standing ovation. Very proud of him and he was proud that I went with him on the 5 hour trip. On the way back on Tuesday to Midland I was called for a second interview with a company I have been trying to get on with in employment. I returned home and this was a phone interview and I had passed my electronics test and personality test , so I was pretty happy. This is a miracle from god that we talk about in AA , and how God works in our lives when we least expect it. Anyway I was invited to my last interview to be held on Thursday morning over the phone again with the hiring manager, so I would assume I am pretty well hired, but I won't know until Thursday.

Sobriety and giving back was was freely given to me is what this AA program is all about. Working the steps and getting out of self is a major part of staying sober as well. Taking your medication as directed is part of the program. Put all these together and you will have a healthy lifestyle working for one day at a time. I am living proof of the miracles and the confusion I bring to the table of a recovering alcoholic. I have fought the system and things in my life just did not work out, even when I thought I was in the right. God has blessed me , even in the hard times of my life as written in this blog with a better life when I let go and do something for others than myself. God Bless and have a good day. Chris

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Treatment Center Bound For Prescription Medication Addiction

I have tried to get off Xanax and Adeerall for the last few weeks and I can't seem to get over the withdrawals. I wil check myself into a local alcoholism and drug addiction Treatment Center on Tuesday. I am not looking forward to another Treatment Center, but I want off these medication for a long time now. I am sober still and even thought what about drining before I go in, and I have decided that tat would be stupid. This is the first time I ever went into a treatment center for drugs that were prescribed for me. No, i took the dosage as told but the dosage is high and I want my life completly clean, regardless of the outcome of treatment. I am going to hold my head up high and go through the motions for 30 days and be grateful that I can even afford to go and get help.I knew early on that these pills could be a problem , but my Psychiatrist insist that I must be on them the rest of my life. I find that incredibly wrong, as I have read and studied the medication I take and it is for th short term not for over eight years. He said I was a special case, but I hardly believe him anymore.

The last job I had to fly many times, and usually the medicine would make me calm and I could fly anywhere, however the potency of this medication has gone down as I had real bad panic atacks and phobias before the flight and lost my job because I was unable to board this flight. This is when I knew I really had a problem. I also noted that my mind has been going up and down during the day  with possible withdrawal from this medication during the day . Its bad shit for the long term. I was told by two other Doctors that they would like to get me off this medication as the dosage was too high. They told e of the complications if I kept on using the medication at the level that I am. I did not want to hear this from anyone, and turned my head, but in reality a addictive perosn knows when he is addictive to something.

My AA friends , which some of them work at this treatment center are behind me, and that feels good. It is nice to be established in the AA world in my little town as this will make me proud that I am not only doing this for myself but others can see that yes, you can get addicted even when not trying to from Doctor prescriptions.So I won't be writing on this blog until I get out in 30 days. I could use your prayers for a speedy recovery, thank you. God Bless and Good Luck to you all. Chris Hyer
 

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

God gives you Special Treats when Sober

It is Wed 2/22/17 and all sorts of miracles have happen in my life. I was hired by a Nationwide corporation to work for them in my area of Texas. They say I start on March 1st but the HR department seems slow , so I doubt I start this soon. I have been unemployed for almost 6 months now, doing odd jobs to keep money in my pocket. It is by the grace of God that I got this position , because at my age it is hard to find a company that wil train you from the bottom up. I have some anxiety along with this job as I have to fly quite often to Springfield , Mo. for training, but I have been getting ready with buying slacks to seeing Dr.s so I am prepared for my plane trip on the 5th of March.
Since I have been sober all sorts of miracles have come true , just not on my time, but on God's time. I have had interviews and Skype interviews and nothing was panning out. There are a lot more people in Midland, Texas now since the oil field is picking up pace . However I do not work in the oil and gas industry and never will. It is dangerous work and have lost many friends and many friends have lost limbs to working out in the oil patch.

Sobriety and my belief in a higher power in which I call God has all the answers but are we willing to listen? I try to listen to God when he speaks buy he speaks indirectly to me , so I have to slow down and let the words come through to my brain or psychic before I understand them. Sometimes when I do something good for someone else then the answer lies right there for me to grab a hold of.
In AA we talk about God and the spirit of God in our lives, I think that is why we have such long term dobriety in my little group in Midland, texas. We all know one another and knwo each others family. We are relative to the other members and yet new members like this and so we have grown in the small group we use to have. Well have a nice Day it is to be 86 today in town..Chris Hyer

Friday, February 17, 2017

Sober Weekend and Yourself

Today I would like to share one of my favorite thoughts on self-improvement.
 
This short thought comes from Nathaniel Branden's book The Six Pillars of
Self-Esteem and it simply goes like this: 
 
"No one is coming".
 
Short. But it has been a powerful and sobering reminder for me.
 
Because yes, you can look for the next big thing that will fix you. 
 
Read more blog articles. Read more personal development books. Look for people
to help you. 
 
And yes, some articles, books, products or people will give you support and
insights that resonate deeply with you and that you can put into practice. 
 
But in the end, if you are an adult then no one is coming. No one is coming to save
you. You have to take responsibility for your own life and what happens in it.
Other things and people can certainly aid you quite a bit. But you are responsible.
 
You can go around blaming society or some people for your problems in your
social life. Or finances. Or health. You can always find scapegoats to judge to feel

better about yourself. You can look for people that will "fix you". You can do this
for the rest of your life if you like. It won't change much. Whatever has to be done,
it's you who have to take responsibility and do it.
 
Yeah, things might always not go your way. You'll fall and stumble and you will
probably have bad luck from time to time.
 
But you still have to focus on yourself and on doing what you can do with what you
have in whatever situation that may arise in your world.

In sobriety we are the one who is responsible for completing Step 1 completely or we fail over and over again.
To move onto the other 11 Steps , first you have to accomplish the first step on your own.

You can do this, however only by yourself. No one can keep you from drinking.
 
Have a wonderful weekend!

Sunday, February 12, 2017

Big Spring, Texas AA Group Celebrates 70 years of Sobriety

What a day Saturday turned out to be. Big Spring, Texas is about 40 miles east of Midland, Texas and I went to celebrate their anniversary of 70 years for this group. There was a meeting at 1:00PM followed by a Al anon Speaker who was really good , then lunch from kitchens of alcoholics comprised of southern fried chicken and you name it the food was there. My uncle from Bedford Texas was the key speaker for AA and his wife Vera. I never had heard his story and it was good , he has over 37 years of sobriety and his wife about the same. Friends from Odessa and other cities across Texas gathered at this meeting for the celebration.

My father who drinks hard at times even came which blew my mind. He came with his brother Pat H. to this whole event which might mean he is interested. You never know who will show up at these gatherings. I was really proud of my father attending this celebration, for he might be one of us. He is the only one that would know, however. It was 90 degrees in Big Springs, Texas this winter day of Saturday the 12th of 2017 and that was a mind blower as well. The meeting drew approx. 100 people from all over Texas and lasted about five hours. I was exhausted afterwards and went back home. It was a day in history to see my father in a AA meeting on his own will. He recently lost his wife to Lupus after fighting this disease most of her life. My father is 80 years old but surely does not look the age. He still works and is active, but I am sure a little bit depressed from losing his wife.

I decided I better get the one love in my life some chocolates for her Valentines, that would be my mother. She has helped me in so many ways and support my sobriety with no end. I am very blessed to have both parents still living and healthy. Days like Saturday humble ones self like me. It makes you think about the good times and the not so good, maybe that was why I was drained. I don't usually go to these type conferences, I usually stick to the one hour meetings and leave. I see now why it is important to come to these gatherings, I had nothing else to do , plus I never heard my Uncles' story but I experienced  his drinking when I was young, and those thoughts were in my head. What a better man he is now. If you get a chance go to a conference like this one, it can be long and you do need to take breaks. Chris Hyer , One Day at a time.

Friday, February 10, 2017

Sobriety and Living Life

Being sober is just the full time attitude we must have in order to enjoy this life. What do I mean by enjoying life sober? I had to ask myself this question, because I have been sober seven years now, and for some reason I get very isolated with myself. That is not what I mean by enjoying life. I percieve enjoying life as celebrating something every moment, but that is my sick thinking. Not every thing is exciting in life. It is good to wake up with no hangover , and it is good that family members like your sobriety as well. But what about me?

I enjoy going to AA meetings because there are others there just like my personality. They are also seeking out resolutions to their lives being sober and some whom are so high on the pink cloud that I envy those people. They are always cheerful and upbeat and I am not this way at times. I get lost in my sobriety at times. I just want to go back to bed and not have to deal with life and the headaches at times, but I don't I stick it out even in the rough times. When you get a lot of sobriety, people like your family must think it is normal now that you will not drink again,but we all now someone that has slipped even after a few years or 20 years, and why is that I wonder.

I guess that might be the disease part of alcoholism when one slips through the gap and goes out and drinks, but it must be hard as hell to come back into sobriety, in fact the thought scares me straight to even think about a slip. I try to enjoy my life sober on a daily basis, and then I think maybe it is the town I live in that keeps me somber and mellow sober. There is nothing to do but go to a movie theater or go out drinking in my town. No lakes or mountains to explore and nothing to photograph except for those having parties. I am confused today as I am still trying to acquire just a job, any job for that fact. I cannot seem to get hired, or I am not qualified for the position. I live in a oil and gas community and they also work 24/7 with weeks out at a time, and mentally I cannot handle this type of work. Have you been through what I am going through? Please give me feedback. Chris Hyer

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Accepting God Into Your Life Sober or Not

I know this is a strange heading I am writing about . However it is true that if we just acept Jesus into our lives , we will all go to heaven. Now some religions such as Mormons do not believe in this simple act, which is fine. I am not teaching religion on this blog, this blog is about saving lives through knowing a spirit greater than your self , named God. God and Jesus are the same. God is not man and Jesus is the spiritual advisory for God. If you are sober you have come to believe in a power greater than yourself, if your in AA, you know this spirit must be God or Jesus. Once you take the simple step and invite Jesus into your life, you will go to heaven. Period.

I don't know about you but when I die I want to go to heaven. I don't know what Hell is but I have a feeling I have visited Hell many times while I was in my addiction. Maybe you have felt this way also. It is enough to convince me that there is a loving God who can take away my sins and forgive me and help me to stay sober if I just ask for this act. Simple as it may sound , we find all the wrong answers to sobriety, maybe we think we can handle one more drink, maybe just one more pill. In some instances this may be true, but rare for us who have been diagnosed as alcoholic, and the AA book is a spiritual book with a chapter for Agnostics , so maybe some relief for those who have a hard time believing in a higher power such as God can come to rest with their alternative solution. I am here to say that God has blessed me with sobriety because I ask for it. I have not had a alcoholic drink in over 7 years which does not mean one thing except that the obsession to drink was taken away from a power greater than myself. That power is known to me as the spirit of God.

I hope who reads this understated the power of God in the steps of AA are not just writings on the wall or in the Big Book, we do have to take action and for go our old ways and develop new ways of living in the world as we are living. Understanding a God can be confusing with all the hate in the world, but I do know i sin every single day, and I ask for forgiveness in the day or evening for my sins. I have had miracles that have come true and spiritual experiences that would blow your mind. Is staying sober worth it? Yes, it is when I have so much going for me and sometimes I take this for granted. I forget God when things are going good and times, and when they are going bad I pray to God to make a wrong decision I have made into a right one to pleasure God.

To be honest I probably pray more now than ever. Maybe that is why when I am weak I do not think about alcohol, when I am strong and happy , I do not think about alcohol. There has to be a power that is informing me in some manner that drinking is not my answer. This is just a small part of living is the drinking. But it is big enough to kill a person who goes out and re-tries drinking . I have lost three people who are my age this month from drinking or drugs. They tried AA and they tried the program, but how much of a relationship did they have with their God? Happy Sunday. Chris Hyer

Monday, January 23, 2017

God, Living, Death, and Sobriety

Recently my father lost his wife to a disease and even though we all knew her time had come, reality sets in after a while. My father has not changed, in fact he may be even more bitter about things in life. He is too hard to read. He is alcoholic and it is hard for me to understand when he is down because he is not drinking or if he is always negative like when I grew up. Anyway , the death has not really affected me, as I loved this lady but she was in great pain. I would rather die than live in pain. However I have mental pain and I sure have been praying for God to take my life over and make it tolerable. I refuse to drink over my insecurities, and I refuse to do anything stupid. I think this giving it to God stuff actually works, or it has with me.

I am a loner in the seance that I go to AA meetings to live life, then I try to stay occupied by my Uber driving while I wait and see about future opportunities come. I have hit the computer hard with Resumes and I am getting feedback, but it has been almost 5 months without a steady job. This bothers me and I even have stooped down to convenience stores cause they are always hiring, well no the case with me. It seems the easier the job , the harder it is for me to get hired, yet a computer position or IT position is quite virtually easier for me to get into. Maybe because of my background, I just don't know. I have had a few bites on a couple of jobs I am waiting to hear back from and have gotten off the couch to drive as this keeps my mind occupied and I make a little money .

I have to have help with my bills from my family and I know they are tired of this. I feel like all I am is a job seeking fool. I am not being picky now, as the time has been rolling on. However if I look back seven years ago , I would of just drank my problems away and that is the only difference with me at this point in my life is that I have stayed sober. I hold onto every penny I have and do not waste money . Sobriety is the key with God on my side, and I do believe he is on my side or I could not keep my head high, as the night falls I get restless and anxious about bedtime and the worying I do before I sleep. I try to giv that to God also and it works if I think about it. God is doing for me what I cannot do for myself, He is telling me I am worth a damn in this world, even though I get depressed at times and try to watch comedies at night that are easy to swallow and maybe make me laugh. Laughing is hard, and my relationship with my family is all about work and money. I just pray that soon all will be ok, and the job crisis will end and the borrowing of money will stop , so I can live life as I expect it to be lived. Have a good day for we not know what the next will bring, and this is so true. Chris Hyer

Saturday, January 14, 2017

Living By God's Will Not Mine Sober

I have had a rough time lately, and the problem is I have not been living by God's will for me. I have taken control and forgot that I have to give things up to God in order to live a sober and meaningful life. So what do I mean by this? Well for me I am starting a new job on Monday and I have had nothing to do. I was quite isolated the last few days and was sick of going to AA every time I turned around. I was bored out of my skull. I was not thinking of drinking but all the options I may have as this job pays poorly but it trains me from the start, then the money rises. I should be grateful and I am but I don't pay attention to what God has given me in preparation to start this or any job. I have a roof over my head, I have money, I have food, I have a car. I was looking in my past and could not understnad what the meaning of life really is. I went to my home group this morning and discussed this and what I found is I have not been working the steps the best that I could have. It was all about me, self centered and all about myself. That is not a good sober living strategy, as you wil become more reliant of your pass and wish to change it,but that is not possible. I was looking back at the times when I could of gotten a better education or had a good job only to drink it away.

You have to live in the now. You can't look back and be thankful to God for helping me be sober today, and not look back in disgust over your life. I have a bad problem in doing this , looking back. I am 53 and honestly I did not expect to live this long when I was drinking but I have since I sobered up seven years ago. I was in my head going to die before I was forty so my future did not matter towards the end. However God makes the choices when you shall live or die, instead he saw a need to keep me around and I should not second guess why? As I lay on the couch watching movie after movie, I was restless and bored and not thinking about maybe this is what God is showing me how to just relax , because I have already gotten myself ready as far as food and clothing were needed for this new job. I ran out of things to do, and my old response to this was to go gambling in Hobbs. I need the cash I have now so the option really turned me off. Hell, Gambling is suppose to be fun but I do not have disposable money to do this right now and I am damn tired of the drive to Hobbs and back to Midland. So today after my meeting I was reading a educational bible that I got at treatment and kept reeding on it. I found all these cool things God has done such as healing the sick and , in a way I was sick. Then a miracle of sorts said to myself, get up and get doing some of the things that would make God happy and I have been doing these. Well time flies and I am at a stopping point.

It is very easy to let up on the program and on God even though I pray most all day for help. I lost that help prayer and was running my own show, but when I asked God for help, things started popping up that needed to be done. How cool is that. ANyway don't give up like I have on God and keep very close to him that heals us all from bad things when we are trying to do right. Have a good day and God Bless..Chris Hyer

Monday, January 9, 2017

Love in the New Year Sober

It has been some time since I have written in this blog. I have had ups and downs every single day. I had a up on December 30th a girl called me and express an interest. I have know her for a while but I always said the wrong things I guess and we never met. She is in the AA program and we went out for the last week, almost everyday. I really enjoy this woman and she seemed to enjoy me. I guess you could say I feel in love very quickly and when she did not feel the same it drove me fucking crazy. When a person text another person and then leaves them hanging you know you said something wrong. I got that twice and I don't understand all the crap she has gone through but it must of be devastating to her. She is 6 years sober and I am 7 years sober. We were going to AA meetings together and out to eat and even a kiss now and then. Love , is something I have not experienced in years with the opposite sex, and so my heart was broken when she had other plans the last few days.

I told her how I felt and she did not answer back on text. SO I waited then waited, and nothing. I have never felt like bursting into a rage or tears. I did not know what I did or said to piss her off. However , I realize we all have our own things to do in this life. When someone new comes in the door, you either make room for them or you don't. I guess I thought she felt the same and she might , She just has a hard time with men because she has ben shit on so many times. I don't do that to women, I never have except when I was drinking so I discovered I have new emotions that I have not felt since marriage. Strange as it is I love this girl , and no I have not had sex with her, she just fits perfectly with what I have been looking for. I am going to have to give her space and that drives me crazy. Anyway, I am gaining new experiences daily and some are good and some are just mind blowing.Chris Hyer