Showing posts with label Being Sober. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Being Sober. Show all posts

Thursday, August 15, 2019

Time Moves Forward with a Clear Head

Alcohol, and drugs can blur our minds, and make us believe in things that are not true. When I sobered up , reality was hard to handle . I battled reality through my sobriety and still wanted things to go my way for almost 10 years. We all want things to work out just like we intend them, however this is not happening. Believe in God and things or days will go with the flow and nothing will over whelm you that you cannot live with. It is a two way street , you must accept those things that use to baffle us and continue to baffle us, but do not try to control them. Life is a struggle and it is tough at times but if you stay close to the 12 steps of living life day to day then all will be better just not exactly the way you might have expected.
Change is something we alcoholics are pretty good at. If you think about it we changed where we lived in hopes of stop drinking when we were in a new place but continued to drink. Change when one is sober is good but can be strange and scary. This is when you pause take a deep breath of fresh air and let go and let God into life. The answer will come, your body will go into motion at times reluctantly but usually for a positive reason for you at this time of day. Hopefully you understand what I am saying. I have ten years of sobriety and live life one day at a time. I do not consciously do this but it has become habit. I don't think to far in the future , I stay in the moment and try to see what I can give all the day to others. Try this in your life and see how it goes. Take Care. Chris

Wednesday, January 30, 2019

Today Is A New Day and There May not Be a Next Day

We have all heard the saying, "live today as it was your last day". This is true in life as we really don't know what will happen tomorrow, or if we will live that long. I was hit in my car by a big pickup and shattered my life for just a few seconds, what happens when you are in shock of what just happened. The one thing about accidents is when they shock you, a thought in the back of my head is ok, am I alright? Am I dead? then all of a sudden you wake up, this takes only a few milliseconds after an accident. Then you realize that you are alive and now what is my next action to be. Reality comes into play and you think of what could have happened. Like when you use to drink too much, at times you might have done this with intentions of not waking up the next morning. Then when you inflict this type of drug or pain on your body you wake up hurting and feeling worse than ever. I am pretty sure we have all tried to make ourselves miserable but not on purpose usually. If I could only drink a case of beer and wake up feeling good and up early in the morning not thinking of how bad my head hurts and that nasty taste in my mouth from beer in the morning.

Life is unusual, we all test our limits or at least I have in most everything I do.I am sober almost 10 years and I have no desire to take one drink. I think that is a miracle from God as it was difficult to quit and also I stopped smoking cigs. So that is two habits that I stopped at a treatment center because I wanted to, and I pray about it daily and still read and go to AA meetings. I don't rely on anything but myself for not drinking. I do believe that AA is very important to go to, however, it can become old and addictive in itself. However, it is good for your soul when your tired and lonely, go to an AA meeting and get something good out of it. Usually, you will.

Living one day at a time is still difficult for me as I look toward the future. I do not think it is bad, to actually predict what I might do the next day if God lets me live for this day. We have to make plans but yes they do get altered, and sometimes a surprise will come about in a good way that we did not expect. So try to stay sober one day at a tie, go to AA when you need it, and pray to God for letting you live in the moment. Chris

Monday, January 14, 2019

CBD and Addiction

CBD which is from Hemp plants is being used on virtually everything we like. You can use it as a cream, smoke it, take it in liquid form, etc. Is it good for you? I would have to say that I tried it and might still be interested in this product for addiction. I have found I do not crave andy drug or alcohol with CBD. That does not mean anything except that I think there might be some popular ideas for this CBD in recovery for addicts. Who knows how far pharmacology and CBD will proceed. If you read the Internet on the benefits of CBD, you might think it is a miracle drug. Yet, when Prozac came out it was thought to be the intelligent pill to get from Dr.s and this turned out negative. There are not any real recent findings from The Mayo clinic or other recognized studies except a few you will find on Epilepsy cure for children that CBD seems to appear to help. Thousands of stories from people trying Hemp and CBD has made a few of us confused. They are making coffee with Hemp and cola is coming out with CBD soon. The 2014 Farm Bill was signed by Mr. Trump last week and that has made it legal to grow in the USA, and there are no miracle drug claims by the government.

My take is am I breaking my sobriety by using Hemp myself? I would say no because I do not get high from this product. What does it do for me? It is like the calm after a storm type of feeling. Not overly good feeling like Marijuana or alcohol., yet a relaxing break in your life while on CBD. How long does it last? It depends on how you take it. Smoking Hemp will make the CBD instantly come into your bloodstream and you feel a peaceful calm and that is about it. Some call this a body high, whatever the fuck that means. I never felt high, but relaxed and ready to just sit back and take it easy, without being high or any mind-altering way.

Can CBD help with addiction? Possibly those answers are in the internet and of course, people are going to say yes it is good and part will say it adds problems. I take chances but not with my sobriety, therefore
 beware of what you read from me.lol.....Chris

Saturday, December 29, 2018

Sober after The Holidays

It's been nine years since I have taken a drink of alcohol, and I have to say that a holiday without alcohol is ok with me. After the first few years, it was strange to not drink during the entire Holiday binge. I missed out a lot of Christmas's and was a mellow drunk back in the day anyway, so most did not know I was wasted. Thank God another year is about to come I guess. I can't stop it but I can make changes to my behavior that need fixed/ One thing is to find more to do with my spare time beside housework, get involved and socialize, I am very closet minded and comfortable in my little own world, which can be a hazard to my health, I get to thinking too much. This is called boredom I think, here it has been almost ten years and I love life, need to change my personal habits such as sitting on the couch and watching TV and resting. Maybe it is just a case that I am not used to knowing how to rest? I was always on the go when I was younger I am 55 and a man and I have been thinking about writing a book as a hobby and of course for the money. I also think my book can provide some people with insight into life. So it would be a positive thing to do, except my Internet Gambling gets in the way. Yeah, been playing for about 8 years and lost more than I made and this is another addiction I have to address this year.

Addiction is all around my body, whether it is chocolate cake or steaks, I can make an addiction that is hard to break out of anything I do. This is built in every addicted person's body I hear with alcoholism. How to treat it is by AA terms by going to meetings and reading the Big Book. I have to say they might be partly right but it is me who has to do the work on changing constantly and it is not a chore just an inconvenience to me. You may find that I am on a level with you and I am just telling the story of your own life in a fashion. I am sober and I can communicate, and I am smart. I just make a lot of mistakes, some on purpose to see the outcome and some I did not even know I was saying or doing. The holiday sober look for me was normal. I am very shy around my family, maybe it is guilt from the years of making an ass out of myself. I am just me and that is all we can be. The good, bad, and ugly. Enjoy the new year and I hope to be starting my book soon, once finished I will let you know. It is a self-help book for those who are looking for work but just don't know how to go about this.I have a lot of tips and advice that I have come around the last few years.See you in 2019!! Please comment if you like. Chris 12/29/2018

Sunday, October 14, 2018

Sobriety How important is it?

I have been sober now over nine years, and I thought of this question this morning. Since I quit alcohol that many years ago, it really is not a part of my living life. I focus on other things like chores and work and knowledge about future events. I don't look back and regret my situation as much. Yes, I would have changed a few things in my last but maybe that is how my life was to be lived so I might live the future in a sober place and sober mind. I am not saying that sobriety is not important as it is the most important part of my life for me to be able to do my work and other things in life. Once you get a hold of living this way and understand that going back to living with alcohol is not going to he help in a positive manner with items that are depressing or negative then you have reached a cure. Yes, I said a cure for alcoholism is possible when you do not reach for the bottle in times of happiness and or sorrow, or either thinking of drinking. There have been thoughts of drinking but they are destructive thoughts and they go away very quickly. I never want to go back nine years from now and have to re-live what I have learned in these nine years.

I wish a part of my life was different and if I had not been alcoholic what would be the outcome. However, I do not think of this very much. You cannot go back in time only move forward with the power of god and the training and learning from AA that will teach you to stay away from dangers of drinking. Staying away from crowds that drink or old friends that drink is the best medicine I can offer. Yes, it can be lonely at times of celebration or when there is a loss of family life, however, if you believe in God you realize we will all die at some point in life that is a given. If we die sober that means we have done our best in the present to be the good law-abiding citizens for our lives. I think God is proud of us that take measures to lose weight if that is what we chose to stay healthy and then there are times where we do not have control such as the many cancers that kill so many good people and they did not bring about this problem as most alcoholics do have control over if they drink or drug. I don't buy it that we do not have control over our intake of certain substances we consume. I eat too many donuts in the morning at times than I back off cause I know it is not healthy for me. You learn a lot when you are sober even when you feel boredom come across, its how you deal with God and being lonely or hurting that will build you up as it has done for me and so many others. God Bless and Be Free from alcohol and start living a life that will make you smile.
Chris

Sunday, September 30, 2018

Do you know God? Sobriety and Living

I am at a hotel room in Arlington, Texas and I have work to do here for 5 days. I really do not like going on trips where I am not home. I guess I have gotten older plus I don't drink so some of the other workers are out getting drunk as usual. I started to think about God and do I really know him. I assume I have a grasp on the spiritual outlet called God and the spirit but I seem to need him ore than ever at certain times for my sobriety and my sanity. I have nine years of no drinking and I don't think about drinking, but I do think and pray a lot more than ever. I seem to think I am unusual in that I have really no friends and a good job, but at my age, that is all I want. I want my family healthy and happy and when I am working I see they are very grateful for my sobriety because I never stayed with too many jobs before calling in sick from a night worth of beer. Now I sit in a hotel room all alone wondering what it would be like to be out drinking and then feeling like shit the next morning seems like a dreadful idea. My whole world would change and I cannot handle that, so I am writing to speak my mind. The Dallas Cowboys won today I think and that is wonderful cause they have not been that good, but do I really care, nope. Men are supposed to care about football, I like to play when I was younger but really have the slightest interest in Football now. I am in a good place just thought I would post on my blog, who knows maybe 5 nights in a row of blogging will keep my idle hands busy. Goodnight Chris

Sunday, August 19, 2018

The Police and Sobriety Checkpoints

I read this article this morning and I said for all the people that went through this check point , they only found two people intoxicated. Please read below.

Sobriety Checkpoint In Diamond Bar Nets Two Arrests

DIAMOND BAR, CA -- An overnight driver's license/sobriety checkpoint in Diamond Bar netted two arrests, the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department reported Saturday. One person was arrested on suspicion of drunk driving and another motorist was arrested on suspicion of operating a vehicle with a suspended or revoked license, the Sheriff's Information Bureau reported. Deputies also issued one citation.
The checkpoint at Diamond Bar Boulevard and Highland Valley Road began at 6 p.m. Friday and ended at 2 a.m. Saturday.
The Sheriff's Department reported that 838 vehicles were screened at the checkpoint.
--City News Service/Shutterstock image
Get the Diamond Bar-Walnut 

I know one this if this was done in my hometown of Midland about half of the 800 people these officers pulled in would have DWI or DUI. This little city I live in of 130K or more people is full of drunks at this time of night. I don't even go out this late at night. Have a good day. Chris

Monday, August 6, 2018

Midland, Texas Oil Boom and Sobriety, Is It a Joke

I was thinking of all the people that have moved back to the West Texas town in the Desert call Midland, Texas. Midland is halfway between El Paso and Dallas, Texas, therefore, the name Midland, the halfway point from the cities of DFW to the border of Mexico. Do we have a wide variety or folks? Yes, from the Cartels from El Paso that is making money off the locals with drugs to the bustling city of DFW that brings in Businessmen and women to cash in on the oil boom. To stay sober in a city like Midland is absolutely an incredible feat for anyone. No real entertainment except for the rich who drink away the days and nights and others from areas of the USA that want to cash in on the boom. However with Apartments, if you can find one, start at 1700 a month for a one bedroom. The unemployment rate is like 2.2 percent and people with houses here rent rooms out for 600 to 1200 a month for a room out of their houses. Go to Craigslist if you think I might be wrong and look up housing here plus jobs. There are more jobs than qualified people, so a lot of companies are training you for a position that only exists in the oil field. So beware because this is the third boom I have seen in Midland then it will bust like usual. Then all the people that came here will leave the deserted area of the country. Most are smart this time and bring RV's hooked up to massive pickup trucks for work in the fields. The problem is where to find land to park the RV.

In AA I've noticed people from all over the country filling up rooms at several AA clubs in town. That is good, but the worst thing I think I have noticed is the homeless sleeping in cars, nice cars, cause they can't find a place to spend 1100 a month to sleep in, that is fucking sad. But hey this is where the jobs are and if you are fortunate and have a roof over your head and paying the prices of living here, you really won't make more money due to the expenses you are having to shell out for this move to Midland or maybe some will.

The bars stay full and there are plenty of DWI people in AA trying to get off the charges from excessive drinking in town so I assume the city is making some good money from these alcoholics. So everyone benefits from a boom in Midland and Odessa, Texas. I can hardly blame most people for drinking while they stay in this city, as it is an activity that is popular and pushed by the local beer makers conventions here almost every other few months. That's entertainment, however, I forget to mention we do get top musical acts coming here to play because again the money is here.

There are churches here almost on every other block in the town and I am sure they benefit from all the people that arrive in this town, and God bless them. So if your spiritual or religious there are a few churches to entertain you as well. My advice to someone coming here is to research the options for where you are going to live, put a deposit down, and call today to schedule an Interview, because you will get hired, and some are on the spot interviews and that is why most are unprepared to live here, they are making 40k at Whataburger but no place to sleep. Now that is not an exaggeration, but the truth.

If you are a recovery person from a 12 step addiction, get yourself a home group as soon as you can and maybe make a friend or two, and maybe things will work out just fine. AA people who practice the program usually have a higher power that helps these people perform miracles and these are needed in this town in order to live a sober and good life in Midland, Texas.
Good Luck and God Bless.

Thursday, July 26, 2018

Saying Thank You for Sobriety

I get caught up in myself and I need to remember to say Thank You, to those who have to listen to my bullshit and even read my blog. This blog makes no money, and I never set out to make any money from it. This is just a way I can get matters off my chest and remember what I have done stupid and smart. I have a lot of problems in my sobriety but I am sober. That was my main goal, right. I still dabble in stuff I should keep my nose out of, but I am not perfect and I am interested in the health as Americans are of the age of CBD and Marijuana Legalization. Pretty darn confusing, and maybe it is meant to be this way. I am in my mid-50s and I knew that Marijuana would be legalized when I reached this age, I really did but it seems like our country is split on politics and now states are separate from the Federal government. Just crazy shit like this could make a person want to get loaded. However AA is still around and my feelings towards alcohol are yes, it is there, so fucking what. I do not participate in alcohol drinking and I have my reasons as I am sure you have yours. My life has been better without it, my social life still sucks but maybe that is just me.

I have not written in a while and I am going through another job change, and getting kind of old at that..lol However I am still able to walk and talk and my family loves me, which is what matters. I am sure if you are sober or even a drunk someone loves you very much, hell I love you and I don't even know you, but you're
on my blog so you must care about what is within these notes. So Thank You. Chris

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Stupidity and Sobriety

I have been sober for nine years this May 21st and I also have done a bunch of stupid things in my sobriety. I also witness others in AA that are sober but stupidity seems to follow them as they talk about their experiences. The definition of stupidity is behavior that shows a lack of good sense or judgment.
"I can't believe my own stupidity"

So Who is to judge one's stupidity is it me or you or is there an organization out there that says, "Yes he is the stupid one". He goes sober for 30 days then comes back in and preaches the AA word from the Big Book verbatim without having to open it, then leaves and proceeds to drink again. I have met several of these stupid people. However, this is just my opinion on stupidity. One who says they are practicing the twelve steps with a beer can in his right hand instead of his left hand, therefore limiting his drinking ability.lol

I guess it goes without saying if you read my articles and the stupid things I did. One was trying out CBD from a marijuana Hemp plant could be a cause to call me stupid. I was not thinking and wanted to experiment with CBD as I have anxiety still but on CBD, my anxiety seemed to diminish. I was not smoking pot and I was not ingesting THC as far as I knew and read, that was stupid. Wanting to feel different than I normally do is not a safe way to live in alcoholics anonymous. It can lead me right back to drinking a beer cause that made me feel good also, however, the consequences of alcohol were devastating to me and my family.

Well, I saw a car driver do several stupid things this morning and it brought out the stupidity thoughts I had. Like I said I write this blog to journal my life as I try to progress through the social sobriety lifestyle that I have chosen. I make mistakes but one is I have not had a drop to drink in 9 years. I am no better than the guy who has 24 hours of sobriety but I am smarter than ever on what stupid is. Have a good day. Chris

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Mothers Day Stay Sober Today May 13th 2018

It's Mothers Day and one thing I can do is stay sober 24 hours for my self and my Mother who has put up
 with me and my crap for so long. My mother is still living and age 81 and she is in good spirits and health and looks much younger, however, I can see the age starting to change in her. I am 55 myself, so I am very blessed to have my mom around and living and she is still wanting to love me and be around me. What a woman I can say that no one compares to my mom, and you can probably say the same about your mom. If you drink, just for today try not to drink around your mother, 24 hours, just one day. I know how hard it can be, but it might be a start for you to have eternal life granted back into your soul.

God grants us the serenity to move on with our lives and even when we make mistakes he grants those mistakes and if you ask for forgiveness, that will be granted also. How do I know, because I am a sinner and I make bad choices every day, I try not to make decisions that will blow up in my face, but I do. Then a miracle of some sort comes into my life whether it be a job or a person I love, and that is the reward for asking for forgiveness. Please check this site out,   http://chrchunltd.churchonline.org/

I think you will be surprised at what you find. God Bless the Moms out in the world. Chris

Wednesday, May 9, 2018

Alcoholic ? Now How Can I be One if I Don't Drink Anymore

I have a problem with AA. How could I be an alcoholic if I freakin don't drink anymore? Good question I think and I am sure if you are a recovering or recovered alcoholic you had to ask this question to your self. Is it because we call ourselves alcoholics to impress others in AA. I would like to stand up and say "Hello I'm Chris and I am here to learn how to live life without drugs or alcohol, can you help me"?Maybe someone has said this in a meeting. I should because that is why I go to AA meetings and to learn how to live through the Big Book of AA is fine in the 1930s when it was written at least the initial book. I find a lot of biblical information on how I should live in this book, but does it need to be rewritten to the time we are now living in?

I listen to old timers say the same old shit day after day sometimes, and I can tell you what they are doing right now. They are at an AA meeting telling the same old shit again, sometimes three or four times a day at different clubs. I am not mad but AA to myself needs to deal with the present day, not back in the drinking day,cause for some of us, and only a few of us, do not have to drink today nor have even thought about it, but we have thought of what am I to do now that I don't party on a Friday or Saturday night, and I get back the same answers, go to an AA meeting.

I don't know about people in AA, they are strangers at meetings I do not attend regularly, How do you trust these newcomers coming in than going back out then coming back in and so forth. I never give out my address to a sponsee and rarely give my number to a stranger, because if they go back and get drunk, they might call me at 2AM in the morning and I go to bed at 9PM cause I have had it with the day and I get lots of sleep and wake up at 630AM almost every day. This is a habit that I got into just like not drinking or buying beer or pot. I have a habit of not looking at beer and not hanging around and body that smokes dope. I think that is the key to sobriety and it is hard for a guy to not want to go to the bars and have a drink, I can do it but just for so long, then I have to go cause these people are having too much fun and my thinking is or you poor bastard your going to hurt like I use to.I plan to be pretty old when I can't type anymore. God Bless and Have a Good Night. Chris
and wake up drinking like I use to do, .However, that may not be true it is what goes through my head. See, I think people that go to bars go to get fucked up, but I am wrong because I have seen a small percentage have a half beer and leave or keep sitting there talking with that half beer, drink that bitch is what I am thinking. Hurt like your supposes to. I know they are not me and I am glad I am not trying to be them, cause I mess up badly when I drink. Nine years sober this month I have and I have AA and the spirit of my God for this. Sure I have tried a few things that might cut through my sobriety but it was not alcohol, and or drugs. Remeber I write this as a journal of how I feel and not for your pleasure but for mine. Someday I will look back at all the stupid and not so stupid things I have written

Sunday, May 6, 2018

Thy Will be Done Social Sobriety

On Page 86 of the Big Book of AA there is a couple of paragraphs in this that say when we go through the day we see where we could help others not be self-centered and such. I read this every morning and then it says on page 89 I think that during the day we should say "Thou will be done", and keep saying this when we no longer have control over a problem or instance where we may be confused as to what we need to be doing during the working day and night. I find this quite useful and have begun using this phrase when I want to lie about something or just want something to go my way. "Thou will be done", Not my will be done..lol. However, it is very easy and comforting when done at the right time, because you know at this point in your day you have done everything in this world to ignore a situation or put something off. When saying this little phrase, I have noticed I seem to turn my car around and take care of something I did not want to or made me pull over and say I am sorry over the phone to someone I might have hurt earlier with my words.

We are not perfect but we seek perfection in our daily life trying to live sober and live life on life's terms. I am striving for perfection at all times and I get let down when things don't go my way. So, therefore, I remember this is my will and not God's will for me. It sometimes hits me later on, but then I make amends to what I have done and said and it is not easy but easier if you just say the phrase Thy will be done. Hopefully, this will help you in dealing with daily bumps and grinds in the road. I know it has helped me, and don't worry telling the truth pisses some people off, but you will feel free and better in the long run. Have a good day. I beg of you to Check out Churchunlimited.com and watch it, Even if you don't like a church you will get a good message

Monday, April 23, 2018

All Things Tried and True with Alcoholism

The title just sounded good this morning. I have tried to find interesting things to do while staying sober and yet my mind wonders into other areas. That was a long sentence. However, I get bored, when I drank I was too busy wondering and enjoying what I was doing. Coming up on 9 years next month of no alcohol, and yet the boredom is still here. I grew up with alcohol and now it is taken away, what a guy to do? Well, I try new things like the Vape thing and end up almost hurting myself with this trial. I take chances to see what the results will be like in real time. I am curious about those things I did drunk and now am sober, what are they really like? I take chances with my jobs because I get bored of them and get tired of traveling with work. All my life I have worked alone and traveled the West Texas area and it is not a pretty sight to travel in. I have aspirations of moving to Colorado for the weather and the weed. However I find out the drug test up there just like in Texas, so weed is out of the question. What can I do? It's like what can Chris do to get fucked up and enjoy his life, I believe that is my question. I know it sounds bad but is good for nine years has had too many good benefits and I sometimes cannot handle the good. I want stimulation and energy from something and I can't place what that may be. I find the town I live in the worst place in the world to be, but at least there is not any type of war going on except in my head.

Sobriety is important to me and the only reason why is I hate doing stupid things that could eventually put me in jail. The stupid things I do right now just hurt me personally no one else, Alcohol hurts everyone involved with me.I am self-destructive and I have been most of my life.I am not sad nor am I happy, I am just here. I need a form of action that will make me laugh and enjoy this God-given life and AA does not do this for me either, it just reminds me of what not to do. Please comment , Have a good Day Chris

Sunday, March 18, 2018

CBD an excuse to smoke Hemp?

As I go through my trial phase with CBD oil from Hemp plants, I discovered a new product. This is called Dabbing Wax, that is CBD concentrate because I wanted the real CBD and this is the strongest you can get. I bought the needed supplies and wax on Saturday and was in a hurry to see how this made me feel. You put the wax, little slivers into a heating, pipe and smoke it, only one hit and boom. I felt high as a kite a rush like never before since quitting Pot. It was just the initial first hit off the pipe that the rush was there, I thought I was going to fall down, what a rush I thought. Then a calm after effect, but is this really an excuse to get high off CBD? I am not sure how I feel about smoking wax this way to get rid of panic, I think it might be an excuse to get high for a short breathe of the initial rush. I have to be careful because this is all legal but so is alcohol. SO for those who really want to feel what true CBD does to you try the wax. I am laying off of this until I know more about this shit. Don't wantto trade one habit for another. Just Saying!!!

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Recovering Addict and Being Normal

What is normal? That is the million dollar question. Is anyone really normal? There are so many different types of people and they have so many beliefs. I would guess normality would be a sane person that abides by most of our laws and has a job, maybe a wife and a kid, but that statement is not true either. So I do know that to walk around drunk or high during the day or night, probably is not normal but in movies, they depict this as being normal.

I believe if you are doing right by Gods way that you must be somewhat normal. Don't hurt others on purpose and abide by the ten commandments the best as you can seem like you are trying to be a good citizen and good human. If you drink that does not make you a bad person if you drink because of problems then that is normal but not a good excuse. Complicated as it may seem, I think the most of us that respect others and treat them as we would like to be treated is the best idea of being a good human and reflects a normal attitude. We all have our sins that we commit to our bodies, whether it is eating too much or drinking too much, but we don't really hurt anyone but ourselves and it affects others who live around us.

Being a recovering alcoholic is normal and it is part of living for a good majority of us. There are some people that will never know what it is to have a year of sobriety, and that is a shame. However if one seeks to get away from the stuff and really believes in a higher power, I believe they can lead a normal way of life like the rest of our normal people in this world. Even after nine years of sobriety, I think it is normal for a person to have a glass of wine and smoke a joint and enjoy it. My problem is I never could accomplish this and would go overboard with the drink or find other drugs. Life is a trip and hopefully,
you read this and get something out of it. If not I enjoy entertaining myself with these words I write. Have a good day and God Bless You. Chris

Sunday, February 18, 2018

Prayers for Recovering Addicts Do Good

I pray every day at sunrise and sunset. I pray in the work day and sometimes I forget to pray during the day. The world is full of love and hate. I think the media is to blame and the Internet. No matter who is to blame, prayers can calm a man down when anxious or depressed. God is with me all the time and checking up on you the rest of the time. He never leaves any one of us. He is always there. Sounds like a miracle, well God is the miracle that no one can really explain in a manner where realism is concerned. You either accept the fact that there is a God and enjoy his power that he holds as his spirit runs through your body, planning out the day for you one moment at a time. I must live in the moment because I have no idea where I will be in an hour from now. God is powerful and all I need to do is look at my dog or a tree and realize the imperfections are really perfections of life as God wants them to be. I rely on God to show me the strength and keep my head cool in hot situations and to bless the world. What does this have to do with addiction, very simple, pray for God to remove your illness and do the right thing and stop and get help from one of God's people that care for us?


I rely on God more than anything to stay sober. It has been almost 9 years now and my way seems to work. AA is also a good place to hang out, but I don't rely on AA to keep me sober. I have heard the stories and I still hear them and I know I do not want the hurt from these stories. I like being free from drugs and alcohol, there are no problems with people when I do stay sober. Granted life throws at us certain people we don't want to be around and he gives us the strength to deal with these others.


Whether religious or not, prayers or mantras can become a valuable source of positive affirmation in your life when battling drug addiction. One of the most common prayers repeated in recovery is known as the Serenity Prayer. It was created by Reinhold Niebuhr and reflects the attitude that not everything in life may be controlled. It acknowledges the struggle we all face in seeking out a path toward serenity and recovery in a world that often feels chaotic and beyond our control.
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”
A mantra, or prayer like the one above, may be repeated daily to help reinforce positive thinking when cravings are creating distractions on your path toward recovery. The Recovery Prayer by Abby Willowroot, is designed to reaffirm your awareness of the strengths it takes to recover from addiction:



Monday, September 18, 2017

Living For Today Sober

Sometimes I get my head all confused about what I am going to be doing a few days or months ahead of myself, and I get real nervous. This is not good for your health but living for the day you are in is a good way for living. You can take daily living for what it is. You wake up , start your day with questions or prayers and then if you work you go and do the work that is assigned to you. Sounds pretty cut and dry, but what about other people that are in your life at work and at home. You have to deal with traffic and your car, also Dr. appointments and other things that go along with plain old living. Then you have the occasional surprises the good and the bad, and you learn how to deal with these once they come up.

Living day to day is not easy, for anyone, if you think about it. However if you do just a little bit of pre planning it can be a fun and enthusiastic day for you. My days vary with work as a technician and I run into many mechanical problems that I have to guess the right answer, and hopefully the product will function, it is stressful as I make it . I try to make a game of it and I have kept this job for over 2 months with no problems from my boss or others. So I must be doing something right? I work by myself with the aid of a computer in hand to tell me what to do for the day. The computer is my boss and it keeps track of me and my times, I have done well with this job and that bothers me at times. I have stayed sober for almost 9 years now, and that has been easy but the drink thinking does come to my mind at times when things go wrong. I go to AA however , this does not keep me sober. What keeps me sober is remembering my last drunk and how bad I felt. That was very bad and I was very sick. I never want to be that way again in my living life. So day to day living can be hell sometimes, but the alternative is not an answer to my living a full day of ups and downs. God Bless Chris

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Darkness for the Alcoholic and Drug User

I have been very busy at work and loving my job. I am making good money, probably the best I have ever made. No problems with my boss or anything, able to afford to buy a new car. I have everything, sobriety, a new car , a life. What happened. I was tempted last night to start smoking pot .

So why would I start smoking pot when all is going good? I did not think about the negative or darkness that I might be putting myself into again, its has been almost 9 years now with no drinking or drugs, then on a Saturday night, I get the urge to smoke pot. I found a person on CL and i went to meet him with 140.00 in cash to buy some Hydro Pot. I meet with this guy I don't know and he jumps in my new car and I give him the money and he dispersal
..lol He fucking ran off with my cash. Was I mad , no. That was weird, this guy just took my cash and hauled ass. I actually thought that I was buying from a guy that needed to get rid of what he had and went to his car to get my drug. I waited only 20 minutes and texted him and never heard back. I told him I guess you borrowed my money, No answer..I am glad he stole from me last night, I am not mad at what he did or mad at myself, I am just glad he needed this cash more than I needed the pot. God was watching out for me and the darkness.

Sounds stupid I know but I awoke feeling like I got high last night, but it was guilt that I actually was going to go through the hell I put myself through 9 years ago, not even thinking about ifI got caught by the police. I would of lost my job, my family would of been crushed, and the darkness would become real.

The lesson for me here, is I want the light that I live right now, AA will not keep you sober but it might help. Only I can keep Chris sober, and my relationship to God. I was blessed that I got spanked for trying to buy pot last night by having a piece of me , my money taken from me. The story of when things get going good you better watch out, is so very true. That is what happened, my life is going good and i wanted to taste the bud again in my mouth and nose. I love the smell of pot , always will, but it casued me problems and I don't need the problems. The kid did me a favor by taking my money and not returning. I feel stupid of course, but I have enough money that it did not hurt me that bad, which is good so in the long run, I did not go to jail , for having drugs and i did not screw up my sobriety. I have to be careful. I need to find a NA group maybe today. Oh well thought I would mention this for my blog. Have a God Filled sober day! Chris

Thursday, August 17, 2017

All is Good in Sobriety

It has been some time since I have posted anything, I have been too busy with my new job and traveling almost every day. Yes I even travel by plane with my work. I have beat my fear of flying sober. That is one of several miracles that has happened to me in recent weeks. I truly believe that if you follow what you think Gods plan is for you and live this plan sober , that miracles will come true. I have talked about it and lived these miracles for about eight years ow, and because I am sober I am able to remember them and tell them to you.

My higher power is God and he listens to me and answers me when its his time not mine. I am very happy right now making a goood income and living a good life. Staying sober in the months I did not have a job I stayed busy doing things that led up to me getting my job. I woke up early and looked for work just like I had a job and several weeks later i landed a good paying and family business position that I am comfortable with finally. It is not easy but it is a challenge and God challeges me every day. You have to keep an open mind and say Yes I can do this. Even when in doubt, the fear goes away when you hand this over to God. Have a blessed day. Chris

Time Moves Forward with a Clear Head

Alcohol, and drugs can blur our minds, and make us believe in things that are not true. When I sobered up , reality was hard to handle . I b...