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Showing posts with the label Issue Ma

Love in the New Year Sober

It has been some time since I have written in this blog. I have had ups and downs every single day. I had a up on December 30th a girl called me and express an interest. I have know her for a while but I always said the wrong things I guess and we never met. She is in the AA program and we went out for the last week, almost everyday. I really enjoy this woman and she seemed to enjoy me. I guess you could say I feel in love very quickly and when she did not feel the same it drove me fucking crazy. When a person text another person and then leaves them hanging you know you said something wrong. I got that twice and I don't understand all the crap she has gone through but it must of be devastating to her. She is 6 years sober and I am 7 years sober. We were going to AA meetings together and out to eat and even a kiss now and then. Love , is something I have not experienced in years with the opposite sex, and so my heart was broken when she had other plans the last few days.

I told he…

Sobriety and Confusion about Life

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Lately , if you have read my post on this blog, you have noticed I have been confused about what to do with my life. I have been sober for almost eight years and going through a battle over what to do with my lifestyle and work. I am a very isolated person, and just like my drinking days , I was isolated back then as well. I never really ventured out to the bar scene in my drinking years. I was always drinking at homw trying to make money and friends over the Internet with Photography I had taken during the day , to making music , and I have a large selection of music I have produced on Soundlcoud.com I am very talented in music and other hobbies of interest. I was always trying to cash in on my hobbies and some times i did with my art work and sometime I did not.
I was heading to Austin this weekend for a possible new start but I can't swing the financial situation I am in right now to move to another city.

Confusion while sober is one of the problems I continue to have. I want t…

Sober Thursday 02/18/2016

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I have bitched and complained for about a week now, and it is over. I have done what I could about getting my job secured and have passed my test, so now I should be offered my job. That is how it oges right? Well these days it is hard to concieve that a future employee should have to spill out so much personal information to get a low paying job. This is the American way now. You have to prove you have no criminal background , pass drug test, prove that your a USA citizen, prove that you are mentally stable. Does this sounf more communistic than anything?

Well after a few days of putting my whole life out there in cyber space for a job, I am now awaiting an answer to if and when I start. I will post of course when I get this phone call, in which I expect ina  day or so. I have spent about 100.00 of my own money in getting a low paying job. The expense were for Dr. leters and gas to and from each place I had to visit, and the time it toook for a physuical and one more Dr letter tsayin…

Social Sobriety and what AA is Not!

AA is a word for alcoholics anonymous, which is  a group of people from all walks of life. There are homeless, lawyers, executives, fast food workers,and everyday people. They come to AA to learn how to live life sober. Most are sober when they come, but there are times when one is not sober and they are welcome to come in as well. Our mission is not of a cult  or religious one. We strive to help the other alcoholic who still surfers from the disease of alcoholism. Yes, it is a disease that some people with a chemical makeup cannot control , even the first drink. They continue drinking until they pass out or black out. That is the extreme , there are also people that just cannot control thier drinking and need help , moral help in stopping. This is what AA is. A place to stop and get your senses straight just for one hour at a time. The goal is to treat the drinking alcoholic for 24 hours of sobriety if they come into a meeting and really want the help.
However , one must ask for help…

Saturday 07/06/2013 ---1 Timothy of the Bible

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"May God our Father and Christ Jesus our Lord give you grace,mercy,and peace" Chapter 1 in Timothy in the bible. 

Wow, what a strong phrase we have been given. Paul in the bible was given control by the command of Jesus, "It is written to Timothy,my true child in the faith".....What a concept, to have the Lord Jesus Christ give one such an honor. To be loved by Jesus , so much that God had appoited Paul to spread the word of God and to trust and have faith in him to do his deed.

Is that what we all seek in reality , is a commitment from others to understand that through faith and love that God has made us into human beings to carry on this message to other human beings. A twelve step for sure, I would imagine."Live a life of Faith " is what Paul says in Timothy and do not stray away into any false promises.

This would hold true for alcoholics," please oh lord help us keep the faith and do not let us go a stray with our own ides" and "Thy will …

God Grant Me!! Sobriety

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In the mornings , I say prayers for the day to begin with and ask for guidance and courage to face the world. It has become habbit, and without prayer in the morning , I would not be complete for the day. It is so much of a habit that I even recite the Serenty prayer a few times to get me going. Do you do this?

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Sucha strong prayer for living . The short prayer is good for everything in this world. You cannot change the things you can't. It is so true. Love for other animals and human beings seem to take place with the serenity prayer. I don't think about drinking in the morning, that obsession has been removed. I have days where I am not so up . This is true with all of us, though I have not had a bad day since being sober. No hangovers, no headaches, or alcohol on my breath to get off. There is so much to be thankful for this morning.

July 4th was a bit hard to take, yet I woke up this F…

Burning out in AA

I have to speak for myself, I think I am getting burned out at AA. I have been going to at least one meeting a day and I have to say this. AA does not keep me sober!! Shocked, don't be , I realized last night that my spiritual relationship with God is what keeps me sober. It has kept me sober for over 4 years, not AA. I am not downplaying AA , I am stating a fact. Where did I get this spiritual relationship? From prayer in the morning and all during the day and at night. The craving for beer or pot has gone, and has been for a long time. In AA each person recounts their drinking and what they drank , it makes me thirsty for a drink. No shit, it is crazy to me, that war stories are told and I am sick of them. Let's talk about living today and not" Hi I am Tom and I am glad to be at AA and I have been sober for 60 years and by the grace of this program I have been sober for this long, and the guy begins to recite every chapter in the Big Book". So fucking what, is he n…