Sunday, November 29, 2015

After a Sober Thanksgiving Day in 2015

Thanksgiving in my family is very widespread. My brother and siter live in two different cities in Texas and California. My mother and Father both are re-married live close by . This year I was sick on Thanks giving day and being 52 and on a holiday  day, I would guess being sick is ok. When I was a youger person I always thought families should get together and celebrate the Holidays. When you get my age life sure does change. My family does get together in spurts over the year, it's like no one single time of the year, but it does happen. I am thankful for so many things in life, but most of all, that I am sober again for the seventh year of my life in a row.

It has not been hard staying sober for over seven years, but there have been challenges , and of course I am being challenged right now. Therefor , I was thinking about this blog that I have been writing for some time. It really is not mean't to be for everyone in the world to know about me. It is for me to look back every once in a while to see how I have grown or not grown.

I have had employment problems all my life, as I must be an entrepreneur , cause I have so many ideas and I usually go for them, and try them out. Many failures, so many I could not list them all. However it makes me know what is do able and what is not. I am very good at internet SEO work and I have proven it in many ways. I sell on eBay and I am am very good at this. I sell through retail arbitrage and drop-shipping, I just got back into this cause the money is pretty good, and I need more money to suffice my bills. I also drive for Uber, but the money in this little city is not very good with the driving job as there are more drivers than riders at this point in time, but when I turn the app on , ready to take calls, I get a sense of I am trying to at least get that one rider. I don't give up anymore.

When I drank I would start something and end it before I knew if it would pay off, so I probably have missed many opportunities, but I don't look back. I keep moving forward in my mind and with the help of the spirit of the Lord to keep my head up and face life, in truth . Yes, truth, and honesty seem to be one answer to the sober man that is living the sober life. I have nothing to lie about nor can I. Just like that Jim carry movie,"Liar,Liar" , I just can't tell a lie. I bullshit a lot when I drive and have a rider with me, but those are not lies, just ideas I have on my mind. I like Uber for that fact when it gets lonely, God seems to put a rider call in for me and I converse with the person no matter whom it is. I am a glorified Taxi driver at times. lol

Like is good and it could be better, and I am still making music in my recording studio. I post on Soundcloud.com and I do not have any followers , but it's like this blog . I am not trying to impress anyone but myself. I was thinking a few minutes ago, that when I am about 70 years old , I will put this blog in a book and have it for my son. He does not read my blog I don't think and I don't tell anyone about it. The blog your reading gets about 20 hits a day, so someone out there is reading my stuff. I probably am boring the hell out of you.

Sobriety affects the family and in a positive manner after the frst few years, because they ( the family) trust you now. They don't think you have any problems anymore. They tend to forget the past , but it could just be me. I am trusted and that feels awesome to know they love me for what I am not doing which is drinking or drugs.They mention this sometimes or I'll have a friend ask me when I quit and I don't make a big deal out of it, but it is a big deal to me. I go to AA every week and maybe two or three times, and I go for the fellowship more than anything else. It is like going to Bible school, for me. We talk about God and what he has done for us today and where we have been, so in reality we still hold on to the past in many ways, but not letting it effect our future. There are those in AA that just cannot grasp the idea of letting God into their lives and they keep drinking and then come back into the meetings and try again. I cannot do anything like this. I made a commitment to myself and God to stop ths crazy behavior seven years ago. I do not want to re-live the past nor do I want to forget where I was , that is what keeps me sober on a daily basis. I wish you well, whoever is reading my blog and hope you are getting something out of this in a good way..Christopher 11/29/2015

Friday, November 13, 2015

One Day At A Time

Personally one day at a time in sobriety is not that bad. It's living one day at a time not knowing if I am going to ever get another job. I have been about 2 months now doing this and that trying to get hired on with someone I can make ends meet with a decent salary and it just has not showed up yet.
Faith without works is dead. Well this goes the same with finding a job in Midland, Texas . When the economy waas booming not very long ago, I could find a job at Whata burger paying 15.00 an hour, those days are far gone. The worst part of the job finding game is that even when a company wants you it takes weeks of finding out if your a criminal and then drug test and make sure you are not an alien to the USA. All fucking bullshit , the employment game is not fair to a US citizen, but I can't change this nor can anyone else. The government
has put stipulations so high on employment yet they complain about unemployment rates. It  is a game of can we hire him do we meet the standards of hiring this man. It gets frustrating to a person like myself who is anxious just to get a commision only job now.

I do work Part time as a Uber driver but in Midland , Texas the only time you make money are drinking nights. Usually Thursday till Sunday early morning and I have a hard time staying up this late anymore. My system has gotten use to going to bed at ten PM and not 3 AM like when I was out drinking over seven years ago. My whole lifestyle has changed and it does not conform with the money making hours of Uber in West Texas.Granted if I was drinking and smoking pot like I use to , I sure would be up and high, and thinking I was doing something good for myself, but what a lie that was.

So the truth of living one day at a time is very correct. God will make things happen if I just keep working at getting a job,He has never failed me, in fact this week I made enough money off the Oil and Gas conference on Monday and Tuesday to make it a little bit longer. Yes, Uber saved the day on this week. That is why I keep myself on call even during the day , to just possibly makae that 20 or 30 dollar ride that willl hopefully add up to more money. How much is enough, well I would have to say for me it has to be enough to pay my bills and give me grocery money. Uber has helped in this area, so this is one way God is working in my life. I am not totally broke, and I plan my money in a manner where I dont go broke. How long can I keep this up? For as long as God is willing to help me, and this is forever if I just follow him and listen to my inner voice and keep pushing forward. Have a nioce Day!!Christopher 11.13.2015

Friday, November 6, 2015

Sober Living in a Drunk Society

In Midland, Texas the highlights for most drinkers are the nights of Wednesday through Sunday morning. How do I associate these days with drunks? As a Uber part time driver that is when we get the most calls at night. The majority of the drinkers are alcoholics rather than occasional drinkers. How am I to determine this, by the repeat customers on these daily nights, and the way they act. Take and pick them up to go from one bar to the next and each time more wasted than the 1st stop I had picked them up from which is usually their house.

Society in this West Texas town is tolerant of excessive drinking, I am not sure if the oilfield has anything to do with the heavy drinking this town seems to have. I know other cities are just as bad especially those with universities. Alcoholism is a disease that is spreading among the younger crowd into their older years. Unfortunately , most would not consider themselves alcoholics until they lose a wife or husband, or some dramatic event in their life made them become locked up or homeless.

This is a destructive disease that just blows my mind as to society just accepts it. You may talk to your friends and they will most surely know of an alcoholic and it may be themselves , but hardly would one consider themselves an alcoholic, for they just drink too much. They laugh it off and don't realize the destruction they are doing to their families and themselves and society just accepts this. What is society to do about this? Nothing.Alcohol has been around for so many years that it is chic to drink and have those fancy glasses and as you look in magazines these actors have just a little bit of alcohol in their drinks and this is shown in most advertisements. Do they think we are all stupid. I mean, you buy a bottle of your favorite liquor , you damn sure are not going to put it in a little glass and sip it. I sure would not, open that sucker up and drink from the bottle and pass it around or not.

That is the thinking of a true alcoholic, and go to your nearest Restaurant and sit at the bar during lunch at 11 AM someday and watch as the bar tender is mixing several drinks together and working every minute service liquor, society accepts this as part of some peoples habits and I don't care who the Fuck you are , if Your drinking a mix drink at 11 Am you are possibly a drunk. Especially if you don't just stop at one drink and continue on through your meal and afterwards maybe put some liquor on ice cream and wash all this down with two cups of coffee so you think you are fooling the cops if you get pulled over.

Nope, that's when you call Uber in to rescue your drunk ass and take you to work!!lol...That is what Uber is all about shuffling drunks back and forth and the occasional traveler. Don't get me wrong there are sober ones that use Uber but I would have to say in where I live 75% of Uber business is from being intoxicated and now people have an excuse for getting wasted at lunch and getting back to work. This goes hand in hand with the alcoholic and the nights I pick up these fucking idiots. Yes, I use to be one of these Idiots but I grew up and realized how stupid it all was. Maybe these smart business people , with their degrees and high profile jobs that get drunk think they are above the law, and they are very sarcastic drunks. Its deplorably and disgusting to myself. However society accepts this and now they have transportation to inhibit their abusive behavior.