Well, interesting enough, I started writing this blog about 7 years ago and I have about 400 readers monthly . So you are reading what was intended on being a personal journal abut my sobriety and living life. Thank you for finding an interest in this blog. I don't care if a thousand people read this a month, I am not making any money for it..Anyway, I had my AA Birthday night last week and 20 people turned out to listen to what I had to say. It really was a large crowd for my group as we are a small group of usually about 6- 10 people showing up to meetings. I was glad that there were people interested in what I had to say.
I wrote most of what I wanted to say down before going to the meeting as I was the only speaker. There was a fellow from the treatment center, called La Hacienda that was there, he was alright I guess. Treatment centers trip me out. They take all your money when you go into one and if you have no previous association with AA , it can really throw you for a loop. Especially if you don't stay sober when your 30 days are up. Then you lost about 60k from La Hacienda and then they beg you to come back. Shit, I understand that a lot of celebrities and musicians go to this treatment center, even more than the Betty Ford clinic in California. You would think there would be some type of warranty with your money. I guess what I am saying is that if you have not fallen off a cliff and lost everything , please get yourself some free help from the Salvation Army or something like this organization. It is no country club , but I have been there in Ft Worth and I did stay sober for about 4 years because the damn place scared the crap out of me. Scared straight!! Maybe that is the answer instead of expensive country club spa locations that cater to the rich and famous.
These are only my opinions but in real life when you get out of the country club setting , you might still have a job and a house and a spouse but nine times out of ten most have lost all. This is not true for everyone, granted we all hit our own bottom when we decide it or alcohol and drugs have taken our money and cars and caused relationships to dry up. There is hope for everyone, including myself. staying sober for eight years is the most I have ever been like this and I don't ever see myself going back to the old way of living because I was not living, I was dying..
Truth, is I am living a great life, now. Yes , there are some downfalls, but I am hitting them straight on with honesty and truthfulness.It is so much better than all the lies I use to tell people tomake myself feel good, and I did feel good when I was high or stoned. I feel good straight now also, and it takes a few months or years to feel like I do right now. I would be a fool to go back to the past and re-live my whole crushing living with booze and drugs. I think about it at times that I had fun parties, but in reality, I was not having that much fun. I was drunk or high and just existing in my body. We all have addiction traits , like to chocolate or ice cream. However , they do not change the way you think or communicate with the world. They are fun addictions that need control. I drink Swepps Soda Water all the time and I am addicted to the bubbles and frosty feel in my mouth. It is like a ber , if you know where I am coming from. I even get virgin Bloody Mary drinks at the bar sometimes because I like them. However , I don't go to the bar on a monthly basis. I am pretty much working at something everyday. I feel like I am excelling in every day and accomplishing something as stupid as washing my clothes or taking the dog for a walk. These are things I never did when I was using alcohol or drugs. in the past I just sat at home and painted some pretty far out pictures with oil paint and got high, I saw stuff and painted them. They were graphic and I can even do this sober, but it took a while for my artistic self to realize I did not need to smoke a joint to paint. I guess we never forget the past and remeber the good times more than the bad. I think that is where AA helps me out. I wish you al a good weekend and I hope you enjoy my blog. Keep coming back it just gets more and more interesting I think..lol Christopher Hyer