When I first set out to do this blog. I did it for myself to see how I either grew with AA and being sober or whatever. It was not really set up to sell things to people that come to my blog and I really was not trying to make any money off of this. I have not made money on this site anyway, even though I get like 300 hits a month, so someone is curious about me. Why? I have no idea. Maybe it is friends out there, or maybe I am helping someone that I dont know. But let me be honest with you on this blog post.
I get bored and that is why I write so much on this blog at times. I get inspired to write so I don't get boredom form being sober. Yep, I have the poor me syndrome today and for the last few months. I can't seeem to find a job in Midland, Texas and I am stuck at home most of the time, or going to AA meetings. I do not suggest that I am doing whats right. Maybe I am missing something out there. I use to drink alone and now would be the right time to start drinking cause I have nothing in my life to gain. I am really down right now, but the econopmy is down where I live also.What I am saying is I go online to look for work to send resumes out and nothing happens 70 percent of the time. It gets me down. I want to be productive, so I guess that means flipping burgers at Mcdonalds casue they are about the only p[eople in this ton that is hiring.
I dont know what to do, but drinking is not an answer..I do know that much, but the boredom I am experincing is overwhelming to me at this point in my life. I have a little money left in my savings and I can borrow , but for how long do I have to wait Lord? This is truly a shame that I am healthy and ready to do something. I made a few mistakes and did not take a couple of jobs, cause I did not want to do them. Now I regret this and paying the price. My own fault, but in reality I have never been this long out of work. It bothers the hell out of me, and my self esteem is shot..I wake up early in the morning to nothing. I am alive but for what?Damn life is just not easy.Thats all I have to say today..Chris