There are times when I wish I knew what the hell I am living for. Is it to please someone or myself? I wake up say my prayers and hope that each day will be a great day and not all are. They are not bad days , as I try to pay my bills and be responsible. This is called living in itself. I had never really been responsible for my own stuff. I would put it off and wait on this or that bill. I got that taken care of this weekend , and I payed all my bills that I owe right now. I feel good about this and maybe this is just life.
I incur bills from credit cards, car payments, insurance IRS, and everything imaginable. I am trying to cut back some of these bills and doing good at this. Being responsible is part of living sober and the AA way of taking control of oneself.It has taken me almost 5 years of sobriety to understand this . I am now realizing how irresponsible I was. My finances were always in debt. I was living a life of lies and deception. I was drunk or hung over and just did not want to pay my bills. Maybe I am the only one that was this way, I don't know. I do know it feels good to know they are paid now and I do not get harassing phone calls anymore. Growing up is what this is called.God Bless and have a great day...Christopher