The title just sounded good this morning. I have tried to find interesting things to do while staying sober and yet my mind wonders into other areas. That was a long sentence. However, I get bored, when I drank I was too busy wondering and enjoying what I was doing. Coming up on 9 years next month of no alcohol, and yet the boredom is still here. I grew up with alcohol and now it is taken away, what a guy to do? Well, I try new things like the Vape thing and end up almost hurting myself with this trial. I take chances to see what the results will be like in real time. I am curious about those things I did drunk and now am sober, what are they really like? I take chances with my jobs because I get bored of them and get tired of traveling with work. All my life I have worked alone and traveled the West Texas area and it is not a pretty sight to travel in. I have aspirations of moving to Colorado for the weather and the weed. However I find out the drug test up there just like in Texas, so weed is out of the question. What can I do? It's like what can Chris do to get fucked up and enjoy his life, I believe that is my question. I know it sounds bad but is good for nine years has had too many good benefits and I sometimes cannot handle the good. I want stimulation and energy from something and I can't place what that may be. I find the town I live in the worst place in the world to be, but at least there is not any type of war going on except in my head.
Sobriety is important to me and the only reason why is I hate doing stupid things that could eventually put me in jail. The stupid things I do right now just hurt me personally no one else, Alcohol hurts everyone involved with me.I am self-destructive and I have been most of my life.I am not sad nor am I happy, I am just here. I need a form of action that will make me laugh and enjoy this God-given life and AA does not do this for me either, it just reminds me of what not to do. Please comment , Have a good Day Chris
No comments:
Post a Comment