Treatment Center Bound For Prescription Medication Addiction

I have tried to get off Xanax and Adeerall for the last few weeks and I can't seem to get over the withdrawals. I wil check myself into a local alcoholism and drug addiction Treatment Center on Tuesday. I am not looking forward to another Treatment Center, but I want off these medication for a long time now. I am sober still and even thought what about drining before I go in, and I have decided that tat would be stupid. This is the first time I ever went into a treatment center for drugs that were prescribed for me. No, i took the dosage as told but the dosage is high and I want my life completly clean, regardless of the outcome of treatment. I am going to hold my head up high and go through the motions for 30 days and be grateful that I can even afford to go and get help.I knew early on that these pills could be a problem , but my Psychiatrist insist that I must be on them the rest of my life. I find that incredibly wrong, as I have read and studied the medication I take and it is for th short term not for over eight years. He said I was a special case, but I hardly believe him anymore.

The last job I had to fly many times, and usually the medicine would make me calm and I could fly anywhere, however the potency of this medication has gone down as I had real bad panic atacks and phobias before the flight and lost my job because I was unable to board this flight. This is when I knew I really had a problem. I also noted that my mind has been going up and down during the day  with possible withdrawal from this medication during the day . Its bad shit for the long term. I was told by two other Doctors that they would like to get me off this medication as the dosage was too high. They told e of the complications if I kept on using the medication at the level that I am. I did not want to hear this from anyone, and turned my head, but in reality a addictive perosn knows when he is addictive to something.

My AA friends , which some of them work at this treatment center are behind me, and that feels good. It is nice to be established in the AA world in my little town as this will make me proud that I am not only doing this for myself but others can see that yes, you can get addicted even when not trying to from Doctor prescriptions.So I won't be writing on this blog until I get out in 30 days. I could use your prayers for a speedy recovery, thank you. God Bless and Good Luck to you all. Chris Hyer
 

Doctors are Very Busy in Sobriety

Well, I have tapered off a couple of meds and I tried to call my psychiatrist to only find out he has left town. Lets say it appears this way, no answer on the phones, went by his office and lights were out and door was locked. Crazy shit I thought, so I got a hold of my Therapist and asked him, since he suggested this fellow, and he knew nothing about where this Psychiatrist went. So , now I guess I will just deal with this through a medical Doctor of mine who is Chinese. He is a good guy but he is very fast in talking and I will have to slow him down and make sure he understands what I am trying to accomplish. Each Doctor wants to do things their way, and these drugs are very strong that I am getting off of. So a bit frustrating today as I search for more answers, like a possible treatment center may be the only answer, staying sober through all this is not hard but I have been going to meetings every time I can every day. I don't know if the meetings help at times, but they keep me occupied. Addiction is just that , plain addiction. Chris

No More Medication for Panic

I take Xanax and Adderall for panic attacks but I have recently squired two Dr.'s to help me wean off these medications. These are addictive meds and should not be taken for long periods of time like I have taken them. My former Doctor said I could take them forever, however I noticed that they were losing their kick. I sought out help and as of Monday have started getting off these pills one by one. I don't know what to expect except the worse, but I don't feel that bad so I might be wrong. I took these because I could not stand the panic when I got out of treatment 8 years ago. My Doctor assured me that there would be no complications, so beware of what your Doctor may tell you when prescribing medication. The withdrawals can be very bad, if not done right like I am with a counselor and a different psychiatrist. I should be totally off in eight weeks.This will be a relief to me as I knew they were addictive but followed my Doctors advise and took these anyway.When your sober or getting sober life is different. Your whole entire outlook on life has changed. Learn how to accept this starnge new feeling before you go stomping off to a doctor like I did. This is day 2 of getting off of these medications and I am ok, and feel a little more better than I expected. I pray to the lord that this will continue to happen. In the meantime I am going to do volunteer work someplace to kill them time while I withdraw and spend a lot of time at Barnes and Nobles.I want to be normal again. Chris

Seek Help When it All Gets Too Much

Recently with not flying because of fear and losing another job. I have decided to get off the medications which can be addicting for anxiety. This is a feat in which I am going to have to accomplish because the pills just do not work. Sure I could take more of them and all would be fine for a while, but that is addiction, and I don't want to go further into my addiction so I have decided to get off Xanax and work through my problems with a LPC couselor and a new Psychiatrist, starting Monday. This will not be easy , as the panic will get worse but hopefully if I understand why I have panic attacks in the first place, that I will learn how to control them, without drugs. This is going to be a long term situation and since I am sober it should not be a s bad as when I was drinking and trying to get off medicine. Its a start in a new direction for Chris and a much needed one. Id rather fear and shake then have to take medicine every day. I am taking a large step in my mind and I have support from my family. I am sure I will kepp this site updated as I go through the process. God Bless. Chris Hyer

Am I A Failure in Life?

SO many things have backfired in my life. I am a alcoholic recovering and a former drug addict. Is that all I am? That does not look god on a resume. I am good man and I push forward in bad times, but I have to ask myself what am I really good at? We all have setbacks in life and maybe my recent flying routine is my setback. I lost another job , so that means Ill have to start all over . Sometimes this is too damn much. It is not that I am going to drink again, I don't have another drunk in me. I just get confused as to where to start off again to get my life in order. Here is a 53 year old man who cannot hold on to a job , but he can stay off the liquor, so I guess that is one thing in my favor. Very confused as to what to do next. A part of me just wants to get in my car and travel to the beach and get away. However when I get there what do I do? I can't run from myself but I would like to. I have reached a low point in my life right now. I hope all who read this will not be down, but can see that you can stay sober ina crazy world. Chris Hyer

Lost Job Due to Panic Attacks and Flying

Well, I have been obsessive for the last week for a flight for my new job. I was to fly out Monday early morning, However, I could not stand the anxiety the thought of flying was driving me crazy. I could not relax, and I emailed my boss tonight and told him the truth that I have Panic Disorder. His response was "Cancelled" referring to the flight. I have a feeling that also means you have no job with us. This really bothers me and is testing my sobriety right now. I need help dealing with Panic Disorder, I take medication but I knew if I got ont the plane and felt the panic I might take more than prescreibed. So I chicken out and said I just can't take this anymore. I'm upset of course, but this is not the first job I have lost to not flying. However it is time for an end to these attacks as they are taking control of my life. I feel so lonely, no one understands what I am going through. Have a good night. Chris

Day 3 New Job Sober

Well it has been a good three days , I wake up early and listen to meditation music for about an hour and then I am ready to ride with one of my co workers. They seem to be pleasant and helpful. I am not as nervous as I was in the beginning. I am very lucky to be with a top rated company and all the benefits I will acquire from within this company. I fly out Monday early morning about 6 am and this is ok. I am ready to face fear and if I have anxiety then that is ok. I cannot give this up becasue of being nervous. I have to remember that god will take these fears away from me if I ask. I got on my knees and prayed last night for him to take care of my fears and I woke up this morning feeling a lot more in control, though I know it is God working in me where I don't know how. God the spirit is all I need and a couple of AA meetings for medicine to get me through a great time in Springfield. The thought of getting out of town sounds good as I have not even left Midland in a few years. The unknown is an exploration and a wonderful part of my life that baffles my mind. Have a good Day. Chris Hyer