Sober Thursday 02/18/2016

I have bitched and complained for about a week now, and it is over. I have done what I could about getting my job secured and have passed my test, so now I should be offered my job. That is how it oges right? Well these days it is hard to concieve that a future employee should have to spill out so much personal information to get a low paying job. This is the American way now. You have to prove you have no criminal background , pass drug test, prove that your a USA citizen, prove that you are mentally stable. Does this sounf more communistic than anything?

Well after a few days of putting my whole life out there in cyber space for a job, I am now awaiting an answer to if and when I start. I will post of course when I get this phone call, in which I expect ina  day or so. I have spent about 100.00 of my own money in getting a low paying job. The expense were for Dr. leters and gas to and from each place I had to visit, and the time it toook for a physuical and one more Dr letter tsaying I am fit. Ridiculous is what I say. But these are the tims in America. The home of the free, once they know for sure you are a USA citizen. I am white and have Indian in my blood, and I am sober from illlegal drugs and alcohol that should be enough. However, the insurance companies and goverment want to make sure you are really allowed to work here.

I heard on the news about several thousand immigrant workers in the USA are getting refunds this year? How? I know they have families and they are illegal to work here so how do they get SOcial Security numbers to file taxes. There is something wrong with our system of course we all know this.

Well, staying sober through the last few months has not been hard but I have been bored. I have learned to keep a blog up so I can look back when Im 60 or so and say Hey I made it through this and that. That is what this blog is. It is an autobiography of my life and being sober through the easy and tough times. I am not going through as tough a time as most might be. If you decide to get sober just remeber that your problems will still be out there , it is how you handle yourslef during these problems is what will make you or break you. Keep the faith and GOd will come through , just not on your time..

Got a Job - But!!!

Well I have passed a pre-employment background for a company in Midland Texas. However , now after taking a drug test that should be illegal to have to take. Meaning they were unsantiary where I went to and they found out that I possibly might have Diabetes. I have been checked and I am borderline Diabetic , but the dr. that did my physical wanted further information on my glucose level from my own Dr. So this puts me in a time situation with this company and also I thought it was really no ones business about being a Bi -Polar or Diabetic. However it seems like all information is to be released to this company I willl be working for. The Americans With Disability site says it is no ones business, but my own. So where do you draw the line at. You cannot tell a Dr. they are wrong, you could take them to court but I dont have the money , and it would be tied up in litigation for years.
We have no privacy , I have a clean background but now my health is being questioned. If iits not one thing it is another. I be damn I beeen sober almost 8 years and the companies you work for these days think they need all this information on your life, that is really none of thier business. It seems like the American with Disablitlies article is non-existent for some of us. I eveen had to fill out with my application if I thought I was Mentally stabel and not Bi-Polar or had some other impairment. None of us are perfect and this job is far from perfect. It is a low balling job but it pays well, with not good reviews. I guess I will have to play the game, but I am watering down my urine just like faking a drug test so I have no Glucose in my system if it is checked again. I need the work. I know my Dr will probably do a Glucose check and I am watching my foods and drinking a ton of water. I know how to fake a drug test and this is no different. I just got a call from this comapny wanting to know what is taking so long. Shit , this life we live in is a whirlwind..Chris

Sobriety and Boredom

When I first set out to do this blog. I did it for myself to see how I either grew with AA and being sober or whatever. It was not really set up to sell things to people that come to my blog and I really was not trying to make any money off of this. I have not made money on this site anyway, even though I get like 300 hits a month, so someone is curious about me. Why? I have no idea. Maybe it is friends out there, or maybe I am helping someone that I dont know. But let me be honest with you on this blog post.
I get bored and that is why I write so much on this blog at times. I get inspired to write so I don't get boredom form being sober. Yep, I have the poor me syndrome today and for the last few months. I can't seeem to find a job in Midland, Texas and I am stuck at home most of the time, or going to AA meetings. I do not suggest that I am doing whats right. Maybe I am missing something out there. I use to drink alone and now would be the right time to start drinking cause I have nothing in my life to gain. I am really down right now, but the econopmy is down where I live also.What I am saying is I go online to look for work to send resumes out and nothing happens 70 percent of the time. It gets me down. I want to be productive, so I guess that means flipping burgers at Mcdonalds casue they are about the only p[eople in this ton that is hiring.
I dont know what to do, but drinking is not an answer..I do know that much, but the boredom I am experincing is overwhelming to me at this point in my life. I have a little money left in my savings and I can borrow , but for how long do I have to wait Lord? This is truly a shame that I am healthy and ready to do something. I made a few mistakes and did not take a couple of jobs, cause I did not want to do them. Now I regret this and paying the price. My own fault, but in reality I have never been this long out of work. It bothers the hell out of me, and my self esteem is shot..I wake up early in the morning to nothing. I am alive but for what?Damn life is just not easy.Thats all I have to say today..Chris

Being Positive when Feeling Negative in Sobriety

Sometimes it is hard to be positive with so much negativity in this world. When you get sober, and start to see the light. The world can be a positive one or it can look awfully negative. That is where the steps really come into play , is how to accept the good with the bad. You might of lost your spouse since you sobered up and are going through court. It is a difficult time for most people getting sober. You sometimes have to find a new job and this ads stress to your already existing problem of staying sober. Do not get overwhelmed, and take  it slow and one step at a time. If you let all these things hit your head at once, problems could began to unfold. Talk to your sponsor to see how you can weed this and that out. Staying sober is still number one, if you can stay sober these other obstacles will come into place sooner or later with Gods help.

Take positive steps in solving these mysteries you could not solve when you were drinking. It is very important to let the courts know that you have sobered up and intend on staying this way. Tell the courts you go to AA and please go to AA, just in case they check up on you. In  my AA group there is always a bunch that have to have court ordered papers to hand in to thier probation officer, keep these up and be honest about these. These papers are a test from the court to see if you can stay sober through a program for alcoholics. Even if you cannot relate to an alcoholic and have papers from the court I suggest you keep these up to date as they are checked.

Keep a smile on your face cause you are sober today, and any problem that comes before you can be solved through God and this program. You just have to believe this. Myself I get caught up into negative thinking all the time, so even seasoned alcoholics that are sober must remember where they came from in order to keep a positive outlook on the day.Life is not easy , even sober. However it is tolerable and things can be chaged to make your life positivve if you want them this way. You are the only one besides God that knows how to change your situation. Pray about this and the answer will come.Chris

Sobriety Even in The Hardest Times

Letly, I have been searching for that perfect job. I have a few money making platforms I am using right now. However, I need the Insurance and Benefits of a good company to work for.I have been unemployed, so to speak for about six months, and where I live in West Texas its is hard to find any job. The jobs that are left in the area , do not even pay you enough to pay bills or eat with. These are hard times for everyone. The cutbacks from the oil industry suprise me how many people in my town are still out driving around and making ends meet. There have been thousands of people who have left this town due to the non-drilling activity. There are apartments that a re cheap again, groceries are still high and Doctors are very high.

I guess what I am trying to say is even if I wanted to start drinking again , it would be foolish as most of my money would go to beer. I don't even know what a 6 pack cost but I am sure I could eat on this money for a few days. When you quit drinking you think of these normal things, on how you can stretch your money out. God knowa I am trying and he has not given up on me. He pushes me out of bed daily to go through the jobs and send out resumes  so I can further escalate my non- working condition. I pray everyday for something to come through. For every one resume I send out there are hundreds like me. Some with further education than I have and aftere talking to some of the managers hiring in the area, most people are wanting oil field type money for these jobs. This is not happening though and the hiring managers will not hire someone at 20..00 and hour when they know they can get someone to work for 9 or 10 and hour. How do you live on that kind of money without going bankrupt?

Welll , i hope i don't have to find this out. Right now I am staying sober and working the program on a daily basis, and trying to figure clues as to get around this town with the money I have.It is a game that is no fun. Moving may be the answer , but being at the age I am , may not provide an answer to my job situation. I wonder how many people are going through the job task I am. I am luckily , siingle and have a house that is paid for and , I have a sober life with money in the bank, just not that much. So I very well may be doing better than those out seeking employment than I think.

Oh well, this is a blog about how my life is progressing , and even with the low times as right now with employment, it could be worse. It makes a man feel less than a man when he is unemployed. Hopefully things are about to change. Chris

Social Sobriety - Get a Hobby!!

There is nothing worse than sitting on your ass passing the time away hoping for something to heppen. Belive me, I have been doing this for a while and getting fat and out of shape. I do things, but they all involve no exercise. I found out today just cleaning out my garage that i was winded and sore and tired out really quickly. I decided I was not going to quit , so I finished a project that was long over due.
It is easy to sit and get on a pity potty , cause like I said I have been there and hopefully this new experience has taught me to at least walk my dog every day

, and go a little more further each day. It is good to get sore and lose weight. A hobby of mine is painting and photography and flying drones. I noticed I was getting winded from just being in my living room flying these little drones in the main living room and this is not good.
Staying sober and healthy go hand in hand, I know this might sound stupid but activity does make you feel better after you have done it. I feel 100 % better now and I am tired enough to rest on the couch. I feel no guilt and I feel revived just from doing an activity one time.
I am going to practice this everyday to see how I lose weight and if my mood improves. I have a feeling this will help maybe one or two of you also.. Have a great weekend..Chris

When you Sponsor a Crazy Person

I have had the luck of sponsoring a few men in my AA group and one stands out as just plain insane. My job as a sponsor is to help those in need of staying away from drinking and to help them with the steps. That is all. I don't try to get involved with their personal lives nor do I want to get involved with them in their personal lives.Help is what a sponsor does, but there is a point where you have to shut people up that are not even trying to work the AA program and text you every 5 minutes and they  talk about their life and work, and really I don't give a shit about the bullshit.Maybe I am being a little harsh but there are those that use sponsors as a means of a counselor and that I am not.
SO when you sponsor a crazy person that phones you all the time or text you about stufff that has no bearing on AA. You have to let them go. I have held on to this one person, and finally said I can't help you. He was driving me crazy with texting 20-30 text a day.I stopped answering them,a dn felt guilty until I finally put my foot down and said ,"Hey if you want help with the steps and AA, Call me and do not text me".

It is needed to be stern on occasions and you and i are only human. We are not guidance counselors, we are just people with a little bit of knowledge of how to stay sober. Do not use a cponsor for things that are ordinary day to day talking. Sure if you have a problem then use a cponsor, but we don't have all the answers. Ask them to get another sponsor to help. You can only do so much to help someone that is not even interested in practicing the 12 steps of AA. In fact you should stop if the conversation is not directly related to AA. Just my opinion on sponsoring certain people. Chris