Male , Female Relationships in AA- Are they Possible

I went and picked up my four year chip last night with my friend, I met in AA. She was beautiful and I helped her out with a place to stay for a couple of nights. She needed to get away from her home and figure out something, what she needs, I am not sure, but I could not provide it for her. I knew I would fall for her when I first met her, and I did. Having her in my house made it difficult to not watn to hold her and cuddle with her. I tried nothing with this sperson , though, because I knew the feeling was not mutual. She liked me, for me, but she wants no relationship, damn I thought.

Cocoa by Christopherhyer2013

However, can one have a relationship with another in AA.? I would say this would be difficult , and near impossible. You both may have physical attraction going on, then possibly sex. The bottom line is two people in the program are not the ideal mates to marry. That is of course my opinion again, and a lot of flirting goes on in AA. It's obvious in almost every meeting that has a young lady in the group, men are always hitting on her. I see this everywhere I go. This girl may be sick as hell, and yet men hit on her consistently, making AA even a hard place for this single women to be involved with. This needs to be addressed and taken care of from meeting to meeting.

Relationships are problems for us in AA and those of us that have drank a lot of years. It was a reason why we drank at times, and to deal with a spouse in the program of AA is true honesty. If you are honest with this women in A
A that you like and she can be that way back to you, then mutually you have made an agreement. This is a good deal, because if for some reason the relationship does not work out, you can still be friends. This is my case at hand. I had to let the young lady leave my place, because I told her of my intentions and how I felt, we spent the morning analizing this and she packed and wanted no relationship. That is ok with me , now and I did not hurt her and she did not hurt me. We were honest about our feelings and able to communicate our desires and our likes.

Living sober is what AA teaches you even if you are not trying to learn this, or is this God working in our lives? I would say a little bit of both. She escorted me to a meeting to receive my four year chip and I was honest when I spoke at AA last night about my past and present. This living sober is about being honest with yourself , and living through the spiritual aspect of God. It works, really works when you don't try to analize at like I tend to do . God bless and come back ....Happy 4th to those that will have the day off, and to those working . Christopher

Mid Noon On Wed 06/12/2013

Work has slowed for me today and I am piling up for Thursday to get some work accomplished in IT. I have had a good day , ecept that I met a girl in AA and she didn't call me yet. I was a bit bummed out cause she is really special to me. She is beautiful , smart, and funny. All wrapped up into one cool package. She is even my age. Go figure and she has not called me back from this morning. I know that there are people in AA that do not call, or feel like shit and just don't want to be bothered. I , on the other hand am consistent and if I say I will be there I am. She made me no promises, though, so I should shut up.

cpy@christopherhyer2008

In AA relationships can be gruesome, and overwhelming. Two people that meet in AA may not be that compatable with each other. You seee them every night at meetings and they know your inner most secrets as you speak in AA at closed and open meetings. You get to know their weakness and their strengths. For a relationship to work in AA , one must be careful not to step on another's face. We will see how this will go or not go. It is a miracle to find that one girl whom you know is right for you though. It has been 16 years since I have had a relationship and maybe I am acting too fast. I willl pray about it and see what happens. Pray , pray , pray and more prayer is what this program calls for in all instances it seems. I dont get tired of it, it comes naturally. So be it. I should of hit a 1200pm meeting today as I wonder what to do as I have no real work right now but some writing to do for cash. I guess I just answered my question, so have a good day and we will talk to you soon. God Bless.

Spiritual Blessings

Everyday I have spiritual blessings that come upon me. I don't realize this until I stop. Yet I have God in my head all day long. He sometimes seems to disapear, and that is when I am not consciously thinking about his will. I don't think any of us think all the time about God. I wish I could be better at being spiritual, I am working on it. This is hard for a guy who drank his spirits. Now we have to learn to live with  a spiritual principle or we die.

A true believer in alcoholics anonymous, is one who believes in God as his savior. If not all odds are off and your off to the race. The spiritual malady inside each and every one of us has to be realized and accepted to really take on such a mission with God. You have to give up your soul for good , even to those who do bad to you. It is a tough order and no one among us is perfect in our spirituality. We can try to make it better by reading and attending AA meetings though.

Just a thought, what have you done today to help someone? Have a good night talk to you in the morning. 06/03/2013

Wed and Sober With You

Well its Wednesday, hard to spell that word? I wonder why? Oh well, just my mind boggling , idiosyncrasy, that plunders on a work week.  I think that makes sence..Its  a Hot day in West Texas and wind blowing and sand storms always. Not the prettiest place in the world. Had anothe r, hmm day at my job. I fix computers, and I never have tried to fix an Alll In One before. I think it was a mess when I finished. I tried damn hard all day to get this thing to work, and to no operation. I had to talk to a guy in India and he frustrated the hell out of me, I kept saying I don't get you? He was only trying to speak English, I can't blame him. Its these darn corporations that have gone global to east India and Pakastan whenre they make a dollar or two, so why would he be in a hurry to help me?

He wasn't. So I stoof online the phone for my call for about an hour, to tech support. Its' frustrating and I was sweating bullets because this is the job I want to keep. Have you found "The Job" you love. I love this job and how I have the freedom to call most of the shots. No boss breathing down my back and the company I work for seems to have been tolerant of my issues with some of the computers I fix. You can't beat that. I am not making the money I am use to yet, but I am still in training. I just started this job two weeks ago, and so far I have been happy with their attitude towards me and my problems I have run into. No yelling at me or saying that I suck. It is noce to have this convience, I beg you all to change jobs and find that right one, that is bearable.

Work in Midland, Texas is abundant, because of the oil industry. I have so far been able to keep out of it. Most of my service calls are to IT dept. of these companies,. I would much rather be inside than outside in this heat.

Idle Hands and the Issue Man , my favorite subjects including God. I have lost quite a few readers when I mention God in my blogs. So be it. Theuir fate is of no concern to me. It is the faithful readers that have regular jobs and trying to stay sober in Christ name that concern me.

I dare to be different, cause I am. There is no one in this world that is even close to the man I am. God makes us all unique, even you. Yes U.....Stay sober tonight and enjoy a show or paint a picture or play your guitar, keep you soul open and don't fret tomorrow. Its not here yet , we have to get through tonight. Thanks for sticking with me the very few who have. I will have something exciting soon. ..Christopher 05.29.2013

The Sober "Issue Man"

Sometimes it is plain hard to stay sober. Here I am with over 4 years and I have been thinking about what to do next. I am very busy all the time, but that little man inside me as discussed earlier in this blog, screams!

I don't want a drink , I just want something different. A girlfriend maybe , a new car, or just a want. I get agitated as the rest of you do. I know there is a few reading this blog as the numbers are shown. Yet this blog is not for cash, and not a waste of time.

I feel like if I can share the crappy moments with the good ones to someone , they will stay sober also. I don't attend AA very often any more, maybe that is my cue. I don't crave liquor at all, and I am glad. I don't have much to say tonight except , that it was a day. Not a bad day, just a day and I'm a little bummed that my postal card collection is not worth hundreds of dollars. lol

So keep your head up high and don't let the "Issue Man "inside you bring you down. He will and will try. Keep your spiritual side going all day long , not just in the morning, like I use to, but all day. God will take care of you. I am a living example of the way God is working through me to you. Have a great Wed. and were half
way through the week.

Sober and the "God Prayer"

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference!”

Photos by christopherhyer.com cpy2013

This prayer is for everyone, alcoholic or not, it covers a wide range of daily living. Is that not all we seek? What a prayer that can cover all angles of life and what one person can accomplish in this prayer.

There are things we have no control over. It could be your husbands drinking, or his Saturday nights out at the casino. You can tell someone you don’t like what they are doing with their lives, but you can’t tell them how to live.

God will undoubtedly give you what you don’t have. Whether it is money, clothes or friendship. If you pray, and sincerely need these items they will come if prayed and asked for it. Be careful what you ask for you might get it.

Have a fantastic time and tell yourself this will be an perfect time for you to help another human being. Pay it forward to another human being, and give of yourself to him or her. Have a blessed day!!

New Sober Info on "Idle Hands"

The sober person has "Idle Hand" syndrome. "What the hell is this"? Its is a term I made up during my years of sobriety that is true to itself. When your use to doing certain things as smoking a joint or cigarette, your hands are left idle from not drawing the hands up. Those whom have quit know what I am talking about. Opening a beer is just as bad, we are use to popping the top off of a beer can , and Yes we get some sort of satisfaction of the act.

Idle hands syndrome, evolved from my sobriety and use of my hands to do certain activities that will keep you in money as well. Painting, photography, and writing will help with "Idle Hands " syndrome. I have always known there was a need to explain this and now its open to those of you who read my crap on here. Granted its good crap and truthful. Yet to  stay in focus, if your a beer drinker, and use to going to the refrigerator and grabbing a beer. Buy you some bottled root beer. The cap is damn hard to get off like a beer and the bottle resembles a beer bottle, and it will cut your fingers just like a real beer bottle. How cool is this!! Pretty damn sick, I would say, but true. Try it , is what I say and if it makes a difference and keeps you sober, than always try new ideas from nuts like me, that have had "Idla Hand " syndrome since day one of sobriety. Here is my new blog on this "Idle Hand " syndrome theory I cam up with. I hope this helps one person out there. Please comment. Have a great weekend.

Sober and Living Spiritual

When you get up in the morning, pray to God to lift you up and put a smile on your face. Laugh at yourself, and see how stupid you look. Don't take your self so seriously. You are God's child and he wants to see you smile in the morning. You may feel awful, but actually telling your self that you feel great , will change your thought pattern. Believe me I have lived this way well over 5 years. Positive attitude even if your hung over from the night before.

Get on your knees and pray to God at times when the day will seem to much to bare. It will change you. The program of Sobriety, or being calm is to pray and meditate.

What are you going to do for someone else today. What can you possibly do to make this person feel good. Maybe it is a stranger you meet in a restauraunt or on the street, say something up lifting and you will feel great. Try it. Try no t to think about yourself, and how you feel , think about the other guy or girl.

Help someone out today do what they can't do.

The Real McCoy- Chris Raymer Soberiety Discussed

Chris Raymer got sober in AA, not a treatment center. He lived in Lewisville at the time and attended a meeting there when everything else had failed. In 1982 he sobered up for the last time , hehas been active on the AA speaker circuit ever since this time. He speaks of AA in terms that are realistic. He is a testament to how one can live and die externally and still make it sober. He is a one eyed jack of all trades with AA. He is amusing and excited when he talks. He believes to stay sober you have to help other alcoholics, period. Implement the 12 steps into the system of AA and help others with drug and alcohol problems all over the world is what this man succeed has became. he is from Ingram , Texas and has worked at La Hacienda Treatment Center in Hunt, Texas for well over ten years. every single day he delivers his message.

He explains that AA has changed or needs a change. He worked his steps on the 1st day of staying sober at an AA meeting in Lewisville, Texas. As he said, he was at his last straw when he went back to this AA group in Lewisville, Texas. He had heard the words before in AA , but inside he could not seem to grasp the AA style and there complaining of exterior problems of why these women and men drink.

Inside we hurt, the "Issue Man" is what he came up with after concluding what the issue with AA was. Keep coming back 90 meetings in 90 days or you will lose your sobriety. He does not believe that meetings keep us sober, God keeps us sober! Yes, God and implementation of the 12 steps. He does not believe in the "One day at a time" saying, he missed the whole concept of what AA was about. He did not really, he just modernized the theories that for 40 years have not been working in AA meetings.

Page 155 of the Big Book he exclaims that "Vision for you, and Dr. Bob , what did it mean to be alcoholic? Dr. Bob could not stop because he didn't know what it is to be alcoholic" This is the problem Chris goes on to say. We just don't understand how to be an alcoholic, and scare tactics from war stories about drinking and AA , there is no place for these. What do you do when you have the disease of alcoholism?People are dying to get the message of what they are? Confusion among people with drinking problem is a problem.

The power to stop drinking is God given. How to stop all together, " You just can't go to AA meetings and stop. You must have a spiritual belief. That is the only way. Non- spiritual people can they quit? Chris exclaims, that "The only people that can be sober have to be honest with yourself". Chris goes on to say" Find out if you really are an alcoholic, that is what the first 60 pages of the Big Book is all about"

Here are some statements about drinking and if you are a alcoholic.Physical allergy, the doctors say that the craving only takes place in people who cannot control drinking. If this is you then possibly you are an alcoholic. If you can drink one beer and say that's enough, then stop, your not an alcoholic.Pretty simple.. Then there are some of us that buy a case of beer and drink it all, then Yes, you are an alcoholic.

When your drink lots of beer you start gaining control, if your alcoholic, if your not alcoholic, then you do not drink lots of alcohol. You don't crave the feeling of the doping that alcohol produces in people that drink to much. A genetic disposition is what Chris R. thinks is the problem.

Yes, blame genetics and scientist and doctors are still trying to figure out how to make a cure for the alcoholic. Maybe one day you can drink just one drink and stop and forget about it. Then quite possible not." We drink for the effect it does to us" ease and comfort is why we drink, and we drink too much. Physical craving, and mental obsession. Mental peace is what we strive for as alcoholic. Pg 23 of the big book explains this. The "Just Say No" campaign does not work with the alcoholic. Nancy Reagan had high hopes but does not understand the alcoholic.

Will power , we have lost all power to overcome drinking. We needed a spiritual awakening to happen for us to stop. Praying to God is the only way to end this obsession. What a tall order, but it has been done by millions of drinkers, and is working today. Normal drinkers know when to stop, when they start feeling woozy they say , wait I can't drink anymore. The true heavy drinker wants to feel this woozy feeling and want it ten times more than you would expect. These are true signs of a drinking problem, fairly simple questions to ask ones self.

The real alcoholic, is uncontrollable, can stop for short periods of time. Then go back to heavuy drinking. Its an endless cycle, of stop and start. The controversial part Chris explains is the spiritual aspect to alcoholism.The spiritual malady is controversial because of the message to stay sober involves a belief in God. God is mentioned in the big book by Dr. Bob and all through the big book. God is the "Issue Man" in your soul or body. Therapy will not fix an alcoholic, you will learn about what causes you to drink, but you will go back and drink again.

Can you stop drinking, given sufficient reason?
That will be your answer.

Irritable, discontent, trouble in relationships, unhappiness, no sense of direction, if you have this , you may be alcoholic.AA is about carrying the message of hope, or it should be. AA has sometimes turned into a social outlet for exterior conditions that effect you. The inside of your thoughts can be controlled by working the 12 steps. There is no wrong way to work these steps and do not let someone destroy you or your plan to work the steps. Work with God and he will work with you.

Recover and you will have a different type of life. Action is required to accomplish sobriety. Get rid of the poor me syndrome, it will not work. Stop being a victim, the problem is we don't have enough people to carry this message. We have lost the true meaning of helping other alcoholics. Treatment centers are here to dry you out, then you have to make the decision to make good on how you will continue to stay sober. A dry drunk is one that craves drinking and cannot or will not accept a spiritual belief. True sobriety will take away the disease of wanting that first drink, and responsibility to get this to work.

I. Sobriety: The Spiritual Malady "issue man"

Sobriety is a noun for the intention of being “staid” or “solemn”. The very name of solemn is to express a calm and collective person or individual. Is there addiction to being rational or in a solemn condition? There is a lot of people that believe in the “Issue Man”. What is the “Issue Man"? The Issue Man is a spiritual malady that exist in each and every person on this planet. The discovery of the Issue Man is from Chris R. from Ingram, Texas. A sober man with a black patch over one eye with the knowledge of a professor. However, he is just a normal recovering alcoholic, drug abuser that helps people world wide by his speeches.

In growing up we all had different backgrounds to sustain our childhoods. Some of the experiences were unpleasant, and others were not. Staying abstinent from alcohol and drugs was not even on people’s minds growing through the years. We would see relatives come over for drinks with our families and see some that drank too much and actually paid no attention to this. When we grew up to see whats right and wrong, we started to see the effects drugs and alcohol did to individual’s that were close to us. We would laugh at them, and some of the drunks and drug abusers were frightening also.

As time went on, and some of us went to school we started to drink and smoke pot or had been doing it for years before we even were old enough to buy liquor. Sneaking around our folks and stealing a bottle of whatever to seduce our minds. Having fun with drinking or were we killing the pain inside ourselves was to some of us a daily way of living in our teens.

There is a man from Ingram, Texas called Chris R. and he developed the concept of the “Issue Man”. He believes that inside every human being is a little man called the “Issue Man”. As silly as this is drawn out by Chris, it is tremendously compelling to take note of how he describes this concept.

When a person drinks too much or takes too many drugs and is unable to control his or her intake. This is not the fault of the individual. Each human has a resistance level and chemical make up that is different to substances that we ingest into our bodies. Is alcoholism based on the fact that because some external power invades your inner peace, that one will drink? Yes,  and no, there is simple evidence that do show that siblings can adopt a genetic gene around that if related you could become an alcoholic or drug user because of your genetic makeup.  Yet, let’s back up to the “Issue Man” inside each of us and talk about the alcoholic.

The spiritual malady or Issue Man we like to call it, tells an alcoholic that when they become agitated, irritable, unpredictable and uncontrollable inside their bodies. Alcoholics can replace this emotional trouble by just taking a drink or two like most people do. The only problem is that a real alcoholic will go overboard and not just drink one or two drinks, yet inside thinking they can. It is a illness, that is unmanageable unless you have the tools of Alcoholics Anonymous and the spiritual guidance from God.

Most alcoholics describe the symptoms of why they drink. They blame the poor economy or that they lost money in a big deal with work. There are many excuses that an alcoholic will use. The problem is we listen to these excuses. How many times are you going to quit drinking and then come back with beer on your breath ? Until you die or get advice. Are treatment centers the answer, no. Do treatment centers help the alcoholic? Yes, they will always be there to take your hard earned money or insurance. The experience from a treatment center is what an alcoholic will remember, and till he or she dies. Sober or not sober, the facts are that this disease kills. There is no quick fix.

Which treatment center should I go to ? Betty Ford clinic is one answer, why not? To be quite honest with yourself, the best place to start is to admit you have a problem and know you can’t just quit on your own. Treatment centers will install in your brain ideas and sober you up long enough to find out that that wife of yours is not who  you thought she was. Your whole outlook on life will change whether you stay sober or not. The treatment centers that you pay money for will always be on your mind for what good they did for you and how you were when you were off the drug or drink. The next post on this blog will be more about Chris R. and the treatment centers in our American soil. There are those that are run by the salvation army that are exceptionally courteous and free. They are not pretty and can scare the devil out of you, but you will remain sober for a few weeks.

Best bet if you're trying to get sober today is to go to an AA

meeting in your neighborhood or somewhere close by. If you go drunk, that is fine. It might be better if someone else drives though. You will find help if you seek it. Free and paid help are available in every major city. AA is free, and some of the facilities offer a place to spend the night, to let you dry up. Keep reading this blog, and from personal knowledge, you will be able to at least have ideas on what your next move should be. Start today, and get help, not for anyone but yourself, or you will not make it. That is a guaranteed answer from experience. God Bless and the only reason I am writing this blog are to hopefully help those that need it. I have to give back what has been giving to me, or I will not make it another day myself. Email me at filmpro45@yahoo.com and put NEED HELP. I will respond to you.