Saturday and Staying Sober

Saturday in the years of my drinking were days to re0couperate from Friday night highs and drinking. I would not wake up until noon or later and then go get food as I was hungry in which woke me up. It would be close to three or four in the afternoon before my head kicked in and I was truly awake. I am not sure how your Saturday was but for me it was quite and sleepy most of the day. Of course, I was preparing for Saturday night and what I was going to drink or smoke. If I was out of weed, I started to make phone calls to get some for the rest of the week. It was like a totally different lifestyle than it is now.
Eight years later in my present tense, I wake up about six AM and try to sleep in till 7 AM and then I let my puppy out the backdoor and let her do her stuff and fix breakfast and drink juice. That is my usual Saturday now. After breakfast, I look at my work phone to see if I have calls for the day I need to take care of , and then get ready to work them or if I don't I get ready for AA as I have a meeting at 10 AM I like to go to in Midland, Texas. I sometimes go grocery shopping in the morning but that habit has changed, and sometimes I just go and buy a few things cause I really just but what I can eat for a few days , but I buy a lot of sparling water. I like Swepps Sparkling water it is my beer for the day , and I like the fizz and taste of this drink. I have progressed to Gatorade also , for some odd reason, I like the taste.

So you now see the change of when I was using alcohol and drugs and to the now when I do not use these things. I really did not know the difference until I started writing this down on this blog. Maybe it is good to have a blog and write how your past was and what you are like now. It sure makes a difference in how far one has come to be sober and living with God. Yes, there is that God word again, he and I are best of friends on a daily basis. I have to have a higher power with me at all times. Call me co-dependent..lol However, it seems to work for me to have gone through these changes and end up not hung over and up and early like I am now. What a miracle once I read over what I just wrote. If you want what I have just take a few steps from AA and work them and then you become a better more productive human being, and you might help change someones life . I write this for me to loook back on and it is interesting to note that I have about 900 people that read this blog a month. So people are interested in how I live I guess. I hope it helps someone. Have a good Saturday, and God Bless. Christopher Hyer.

Belief In a Higher Power For Social Sobriety

God, is a big spiritual relief for me. There are those that do not understand God, and I think that is God's intentions. He wants us to believe in a higher power that is stronger than yourself, therefore the word , God. I have for the last eight years have had a strong belief in God working wonders of miracles in my life. Like my previous post about Panic, God knows that I could have a problem with addiction with the medications but he knows what is up with my life at all times. So be it. I wake up in the early morning about 5 AM and begin to pray for the new day everyday, and this last during work and after work up until the evening. See , in my opinion, God wants to know how you feel about him and yourself on a daily basis. He wants us to rejoice in knowing him on a personal basis. Whether you want to call it a friendship, in which God is my best friend, or spirituality , God works so many miracles in my daily life, that I know no other person or thing could do for me. I am almost 9 years sober now, and it is the miracle of AA and my God spirituality that gets me through the good times and the rough times. This is just me, there are those of you who do not believe in God. I suggest you go outside and look at a leaf and wonder about the veins in which the leaf grows and how intricate the lines are, perfect. I don't think we are a mistake in this world, and yet to believe in something one cannot see is hard to explain until you have had situations that are miracles that only would be happen chance of going on in your life. For me , and my belief , I think every time something goes wrong a right seems to happen . It seems to follow a lesson from God that I either have done something he is not particular lily happy with and then I do something to help someone and I get this feeling that is good and wholesome. We all know when we sin. No one needs to tell us when we do something immoral or sinful. We all sin, but what I think God wants us to do is show to him and tell him we were wrong. It takes a spiritually guided look on life to do this particular action.

In the Big Book of AA there is a part that says either God is or he is not , what is your choice to be? I want to be on a winning team and God to me is a happy spirit and I am here for his entertainment, but he wants us all to succeed, maybe not get rich or have a Corvette, but whatever we can accomplish in our daily lives and give back to those who may not have what we have is the true trick to this God outlook. The feeling of helping a stranger out with groceries or helping a person with the door, is morally right and it shows we generally care about one another. That makes my God smile and it makes me smile when I know I have done something in my life that I make no money but provide just a little bit of help to those in need.

Of course, there are those who cut us off in traffic and we swear at them or shoot the finger, but if you are where I am at in my program you let it go and say:God Bles Them" I was taught that by a friend that has passed away. Everytime, something rude was done to this friend of mine he would say "God Bless Them "out loud. I use to really trip out to this , but it is like cussing but your not. Your asking for God's help in dealing with this person and your also praying that this person has a better day. It takes a strong person to admit a higher power such as God can help you. However, once you take a hold of prayer and really believe in God you will notice changes in your lifestyle, and they are good. This is a good reason to stay sober, to have a better relationship with God and yourself. It is selfish in a way but most who drink are very selfish people, and it stays with us . I really feel a need to write more on God, and I will throughout my life on this blog . As I said this is a journal for myself and you are welcome to read it. I am 53 now and plan to keep writing on this blog until the end of my time. God Bless Chris Hyer

Social Sobriety- Who I am and Will Become

This blog is for me as it is a journal through my life as a sober living man in Midland, Texas. I am 53 years old and grew up in Midland , Texas since age 8 . I have moved to several different cities around the country since then by myself, and have lived an adventurous and confusing life. This is not to say I am any different than most people my age as most will have moved at one point in thier lives and most will not drink themselves to complete oblivion like I use to . I sobered up many times since I was 18 years old but it was not until I was 45 did sobriety and treatment actually mean much to me. It took me getting so sick that I could barely walk, and talk. I started my sobriety in Kerrville , Texas at La Hacienda Treatment Center, One of the best programs in the USA. However It was not my first Rodeo , so to speak it has been my last . I have over eight years of continuous sobriety and I am grateful to AA and to God whom I talk to on a daily basis. He is my director for the day and the one I go to for problems and answers each and every morning and during the waking day. I also speak with Gos in the evening when I retire and ask for his blessings for many people including myself to make it through the night to face another day. This is how I live, I work a job and make my money and pay my bills on time. This is not how Chris use to be. I have come a long way to this point in my life and I am not looking to give up any time soon. In fact, I do not have another drunk left in me, I will surely die if I take another drink.

Christopher Hyer July 31 2016

I have a son who is 23 and loves me very much. I have a mother and a father that are getting up in age and soon God will throw more curve balls. I will hopefully have the knowledge to deal with whatever passes my way as he has been with me this last eight years by my side and many miracles have happened in my life. I have lived for a reason that in un- be known to myself. I have lived many different personalities in my life. The best one is the sober Chris, you ar reading right now. God bless you and have a good day. Christopher Hyer

Sober up Today and Live for the Future

It's never too late to sober up from drugs or alcohol. If you are still breathing and I assume you are then you have the chance of being sober for today. If taken one step or moment at a time, you can be  free of alcohol and drug abuse if you really want to . You have to take this action, however, and one of the ways is to not buy the drug at all. Then the second thing you will have to do is tell your old friends that you have quit, like you might have told them a hundred times, but if honestly, you want the power of sobriety in your life. The friends will not longer be friends, cause they probably still drink or they are not the new crowd you want to be around anymore.

Yes, at times, changing your surroundings and people that you love is a necessity to keep sober. Stop blaming others for what you put in your stomach, cause it is a personal thing . You decided to inject alcohol and or drugs into your system, not anyone else. Like I have heard before when I was a baby I was not born with a beer in my hand. So step back and take the day off from those who want you to join them in an hour or so of alcoholic drinks, that is really all it takes. You might go through a little withdrawal and if it gets bad enough , go to the hospital and get help. That is step 1 of AA is admitting you have a problem and believe a power ( God, a Group of People, Whatever ) a power greater than yourself. I prefer to use God as he was easy to talk to and inside each and every one of us. There are those who do not believe in God and have a hard time with this belief, I suggest you get a AA Big Book from an AA group for free and read the first 48 pages. If by the end of this study you do not see yourself, then you may not have a problem with drinking or drugs.

I can't tell you what to do, but I can make suggestions, that have worked for me. You can go ahead and drink until you are so sick that you need a hopital to get help at. You could lose everything including your job and your self-respect then get help. I have done all of these and I still kept up my drinking. It took me wanting and I mean really wanting to quit something I truly liked.

Quit drinking for yourself is most important, or you will not stay sober. Some of us do not even have to go to AA to stay sober, I did not go for the first two years, but I wanted to be around others that were doing what I was doing and that was not drinking. I wondered what the hell these people did when they did not drink, and so I started going to AA and have made a bunch of new friends , and they are true friends that I can count on. It is a miracle and many miracles do happen when you stop drining and start living. It is not easy , at all, but after a while the obsession to even take the first drink goes away if you follow the program. Good luck and God Bless. Christopher Hyer

Changes in your Sober Thinking and Perception

When I was drinking my thinking was not right. I thought it was on the dot with what I was doing at the time. In reality , no one who is drinking is thinking right. Alcohol seems to distort what we think and , in myself, I thought all was ok and that I was this guy that could take on everything impossible.
Now that I am eight years sober, I realize that my drinking of water and cokes that I am no super power. I am just myself, but I do have images of a perception that good things will continue to happen if I stay sober. I know for over eight years that I wake up on time and make it to work and do the things I am supposed to do in real life. I have dreams of course of doing something else always. However, they are bigger and better things in my life. If only I stay sober one more day it will get better. Pretty simple self-persuasion I believe. Every day is not great but every day is unusual, in many ways.

I have productive days and it is not just work , it could be as simple as going to the post office when I don't really want to or grocery store . I know I need to get things done and they get done. When I was drinking I would think of these things but put them off till the next day or the next week. Just like my bills , I pay them on time now and have been for over eight years. I use to wait till I got a late notice before I made a payment. I had fees and it just made me madder when in my drinking years. I made a lot of little foolish mistakes,. It's funny cause I watch a lot of movies at night and most of them have someone drinking or smoking pot and they end up in bed with someone that they should not be with or missing work , that is the reality to just plain drinking. Drinking alcohol is really childish but a necessity for an alcoholic. Who are you today? Christopher Hyer

Christopher from Social Sobriety

Hello, and welcome to my blog, I am Christopher and the picture is me and my baby girl, Abbey. We live together in Midland, Texas and love eash other very much. I have been sober going on nine years now. My sobriety date is May 21st 2008. I am very happy to be sober this Saturday morning and thought I would write in my journal a little about myself. There are a few of you that follow this blog and I thought if I put a picture to match the words you might like this.

I will be chairperson at AA this morning in Midland , Texas at the 12 step group. It is always nice to be called on to lead a group of recovering alcoholics. I get nervous in a good way. Sometimes I talk too much and I will try not to let this get in the way of the meeting, but life has so many good things to offer the recovering alcoholic. It is nice to wake up without a hangover and tremors. I feel as good as I can feel, and I even played about 20 minutes of hardcore Tennis last night in 100 degree weather. I am way out of shape , but I am going to work Tennis into my program, I am 53 years young and I could feel my muscles aching when I moved while playing last night. I played against the backboard on the Tennis court cause I have not found me any players to hit with yet.

I write this blog for my own benefit, and it is for me to look back to see how I have grown or what I could of done better. To be honest with myself , I never really look back at the stuff I have written since I have started this back in 2011, I believe. I am writing this for when I am old and in my 90s , cause I have a feeling I will live that long at least.

I highly recommend that id you are sober and have no one to love to get a Labrador Retriever as I have in this picture. They are loving animals and very human like. My puppy is now 2 years old and she is my life. We do a lot of things together and she gets me out of the house for walks. She walks me , you see. SHe is a female and is so loving and giving, and so much fun to talk to every single day. I wake up to her in the morning as she has her own room in the laundry room. She is always wagging her tail and eager to see me. She waits while I take a shower to make sure I am alright and then loves on me to tell me how happy she is. ANyway I am mumbling, just thought you might like to se a picture of us..Christopher

Single and Sober

I was traveling the other day and decided to place an ad on Match.com and see if I could find a nice young lady. I have used all the free sites and I keep running into girls that want money, or escorts, hookers, and you name it I have talked to them. I really am not looking for sex, I am looking for a friend to spend time with for a long while. Does she need to be an alcoholic, not really , I can accept about anyone, and if they drink so be it. If they drink too much then that is a closer. However I have not been on this site for more than a day I am glad to see there really is a few delightful women on this thing. Communication is one way , my way..lol..However, I am taking this last chance of finding that special girl online one more time and even spent money for this service. I must be serious, I am reading how to pick up a girl instead of just telling her she os pretty in a nice way. So I look on google and searched cute oneliners I could use and we will see if that helps. They are good and it has made me think about how to communicate with a women's intelligence.

I have been alone for about over 20 years and not really dated since I have been sober, the reason why is it is hard to find women when you don't go to the bar. I , even thought about making a night of it tonight to see if I could go to a bar and feel comfortable in finding a dancing partner, but I am pretty shy. I am not the Alpha male I claim I am . I get nervous and freak out. It's like when I ask a girl to dance I feel like she thinks I want to sleep with her, which are not my intentions. The alcoholic thinking , I have is this. Like I said I have not even tried the bar scene in so many years, I rememberer from experiences that is how I felt. I can't tell a girls age but I would probably go for the 20 year old cause she is cute and get a "Your as old as my father " look. I can't judge age, so maybe I should go for the older looking girls and not risk any rejection,because I don't like rejection.

It's a new thing I am into right now in finding one to love. I guess I must be really needing this , as it has been hitting my head lately. Wish Me luck. Christopher Hyer

Alcoholic and Using Words To a Better Life

As a recovered alcoholic , I have read several books on self -help for everything I can to help me with anxieties to living life sober. I did have a book call Persuasion Techniques and Using Words. I found this very enlightening as the words we say make a negative and positive effect on whom we speak to and how someone might take the words we speak.

Its interesting to me that how negative words can be taken out of context and other findings I found on words. It is like when you say "How are you doing today?" That is very common, and the usual answer is doing fine. However we are really not communicating our true feelings we are just giving the answer that is easily out of our mouths. You might have just yelled at your spouse and your having a crappy day but you don't want to get into all that with a complete stranger. . Positive and negative words are very interesting to look up and read about. What is a word anyway? Got you on that one, I don't have a dictionary and I don't want to look it up right now. That would be negative in a sense

 that I just don't want to tell you cause I really don't care to do a search on google and then write a paragraph on this subject.

I just thought I would throw in my two cents on words today and if you find a book about words and what you tell yourself with these words , I think you will find yourself maybe saying words that either upset other people or make even yourself fel bad with the words that you use on a daily basis. Being positive in a recovering system is what life is all about is where I am going with this. Like I said I write this for me, and anyone that reads this blog , is fine with me. This is my journal and I think I will watch my words. lol Christopher Hyer

Gambling and Alcohol Addiction " They go hand in hand"

I am perfect by no means. What I am going to point out to myself on here is that yes, I have addiction problems. I'm addicted to sex, gambling and was addicted to alcohol. I heard a speaker at my Treatment Center named Chris Raymer , and he goes on to say that we all have that little pleasure person inside us called the "Issue Man" The "Issue Man" Loves pleasure we get from drugs alcohol, sex, gambling anything that gives us a high. This part of our body craves our addiction and will tell us to get more of it. Controlling the :Issue Man " is near impossible for the recovering addict. However that is where the 12 steps come in to say , hey stop the insanity and let us get with the program; Chris. I do alright for a while then I fall back into gambling , I know the value of money, but I also know the rush I get from hitting a jackpot. They are almost the exact same except I don't get the same type of hangover with gambling as I did with alcohol. I do get a hangover from gambling especially if I have lost a lot of money. I feel terrible, and shameful , gutted, and stupid.

Yes, gambling produces a high like nonother I can think of. It is time-consuming and with the laughs and crowd, it can be most enjoyable to thiose of us who don't have anything else to do with our time. I drive 100 miles almost evry weekend to go gamble and I win at times , but lose more than win. Until I accept this for what it is, it might get worse, and I better watch out. I am on alert to this problem , and I thought I could control it, and I did but this last weekend I blew my whole paycheck, so out of control for me.

Beware of your addictions and how to manage them or do without them. Use the 12 steps to get out of something that may be ruining your life or taking your hard earned money. I know from experience that when I do wrong , I feel it. Nothing is worth going back to drinking for me , and I will have to deal with this addiction when I am serious about working it. It is just like an alcoholic, gambling is . You need to know when to stop or it will catch your ass when you are not looking. Hope this helps you as I hope it helps me. Christopher Hyer

Time and the Alcoholic

Time, when we are awake and have a holiday or a weekend day off for an alcoholic can be a little unusual. In Midland, Texas there is no lakes for miles or mountains for miles and really not much in entertainment except for  eating out, or going to a movie. I have done both for the last 8 years and I have to say it gets boring. I might just be relaxed and with nothing to do, I get a little confused.I don't think about drinking or smoking but I do wonder what the hell to do. I drive  at least 1500 miles a week with the company I am with and the last thing I want to do is go for a ride. I use to paint a little bit here and there but I found this boring in itself. I am alone most of the time I am off, I don't date anymore. I have not found anyone I would even consider dating at my age of 53 in this town. I have looked, believe me I am on every singles sight there is that is free and no one appeals to me. A few ladies do appeal to me, but I have these chat sessions and they get boring really quick because I know where they are heading, to the next time I chat with them. lol

I'm not saying that life alone is boring , but at times, it can be. Maybe that means I need to change up my program a little bit. I go to enough AA meetings a week, and that is not the answer. To be honest with myself I don't want to hang out with a bunch of recovered drunks every day of my life. I like to break away from the social sobriety thing and just do my own thing. With so many years of drinking and being alone, I am glad I am sober at least for one more day and that is how I justify my boredom. I would sit at home with a hangover almost daily and have an excuse to be bored then. I now am sober and almost do the same thing as when I was drinking. I must find an activity that will give me a rush to do on days off. I will work on this possibly as I get tired of movies at home and yet I am 53 and most people my age, I am not sure what the hell they do except for rest on their day off. Hell, I only had one day off from work and I'm talking about boredom. Christopher Hyer

Sobriety and the Internet "huh"

Well, interesting enough, I started writing this blog about 7 years ago and I have about 400 readers monthly . So you are reading what was intended on being a personal journal abut my sobriety and living life. Thank you for finding an interest in this blog. I don't care if a thousand people read this a month, I am not making any money for it..Anyway, I had my AA Birthday night last week and 20 people turned out to listen to what I had to say. It really was a large crowd for my group as we are a small group of usually about 6- 10 people showing up to meetings. I was glad that there were people interested in what I had to say.
I wrote most of what I wanted to say down before going to the meeting as I was the only speaker. There was a fellow from the treatment center, called La Hacienda that was there, he was alright I guess. Treatment centers trip me out. They take all your money when you go into one and if you have no previous association with AA , it can really throw you for a loop. Especially if you don't stay sober when your 30 days are up. Then you lost about 60k from La Hacienda and then they beg you to come back. Shit, I understand that a lot of celebrities and musicians go to this treatment center, even more than the Betty Ford clinic in California. You would think there would be some type of warranty with your money. I guess what I am saying is that if you have not fallen off a cliff and lost everything , please get yourself some free help from the Salvation Army or something like this organization. It is no country club , but I have been there in Ft Worth and I did stay sober for about 4 years because the damn place scared the crap out of me. Scared straight!! Maybe that is the answer instead of expensive country club spa locations that cater to the rich and famous.

These are only my opinions but in real life when you get out of the country club setting , you might still have a job and a house and a spouse but nine times out of ten most have lost all. This is not true for everyone, granted we all hit our own bottom when we decide it or alcohol and drugs have taken our money and cars and caused relationships to dry up. There is hope for everyone, including myself. staying sober for eight years is the most I have ever been like this and I don't ever see myself going back to the old way of living because I was not living, I was dying..

Truth, is I am living a great life, now. Yes , there are some downfalls, but I am hitting them straight on with honesty and truthfulness.It is so much better than all the lies I use to tell people tomake myself feel good, and I did feel good when I was high or stoned. I feel good straight now also, and it takes a few months or years to feel like I do right now. I would be a fool to go back to the past and re-live my whole crushing living with booze and drugs. I think about it at times that I had fun parties, but in reality, I was not having that much fun. I was drunk or high and just existing in my body. We all have addiction traits , like to chocolate or ice cream. However , they do not change the way you think or communicate with the world. They are fun addictions that need control. I drink Swepps Soda Water all the time and I am addicted to the bubbles and frosty feel in my mouth. It is like a ber , if you know where I am coming from. I even get virgin Bloody Mary drinks at the bar sometimes because I like them. However , I don't go to the bar on a monthly basis. I am pretty much working at something everyday. I feel like I am excelling in every day and accomplishing something as stupid as washing my clothes or taking the dog for a walk. These are things I never did when I was using alcohol or drugs. in the past I just sat at home and painted some pretty far out pictures with oil paint and got high, I saw stuff and painted them. They were graphic and I can even do this sober, but it took a while for my artistic self to realize I did not need to smoke a joint to paint. I guess we never forget the past and remeber the good times more than the bad. I think that is where AA helps me out. I wish you al a good weekend and I hope you enjoy my blog. Keep coming back it just gets more and more interesting I think..lol  Christopher Hyer

Non-Drunk Memorial Day and Socially Sober

It's been a while since I have written. I do this blog for my own journal anyway, so when I look back over the future, I can see how much I have grown or resisted growth. However you are welcome to review my blog post and make comments.

Its Sunday night in Midland, Texas and it is Memorial Day on Monday, in which we have so many Veterans that are young and old that have made the USA free with the work in our military. God bless them and hopefully we can bring home a few thousand more young people home with thier families. That is what life is about , is family living and not war. I think our political system seems to split this up especially during the election year. Let's bring our brothers and sisters home where they belong.

Staying sober today is no different than it was last week or eight years ago for me. I do stay sober for a reason. The main reason is I do not want to feel bad the next day. When drinking and smoking pot , at night usually , I was very happy and content I thought. However ,now that it has been 8 years of complete sobriety, it is just normal for me to be sober on any given day. That is a great obstacle I have overcome over the time of being sober, and I hope if you have a drinking problem you will realize that this can happen to you also. It takes a little bit of work on your part and a lot of spiritual work on God's part to stay sober, but once you have it, sobriety will stay with you as long as you will it to be.

I am not feeling like I am missing out on anything right now, I worked today and I have lots of hours in overtime, and this makes me happy. I have other problems besides worrying about drinking today , that the urge to have alcohol is not even a option. I will celebrate with the 12 step group at the PDAP building in Midland, Texas on Wed at 7:30 PM of this week. So if anyone is local , please say you saw my blog and I will be happy to know you.I have no idea of what I will say as my sobriety is due to so many things in my life. From AA Meetings to the spirit of god I pray to everyday to my family being happy I am alive and living without alcohol and pot. That should be enough, as some of the speaker meetings can go on and on. I will not talk about certain things in my life, but I am really an open book when I am at these meetings and I believe that most in my group know my circumstances.

Why do we talk about the past, I guess it is to remember where we came from and how the fight to keeping sober for so long is accomplished to those who cannot even think about being sober for a day. I know I was one of these people, and yet after several treatment centers and breaking so many hearts. I did stay sober this time for myself. It has paid off with love and material things that I have worked for. I live in a nice large house and have a loving puppy that loves me to pieces. I just hope that I can keep on staying sober for one day at a time like I have. That is all it really takes is AA Meetings and believing that you can make it one day at a time until the obsession goes away and it will. Well,thats about all I have to say, back to watching a movie and having a pizza. Goodnight. Christopher Hyer

I get Bored AT Times being Sober

AT times I get pretty bored in between work and at home. I like being home but , I have exhausted my old hobbies with music and art. I find that the time I kill now is laying on the couch and watching a movie with my eyes closed, cause I am tired. Funny thing is I use to do the same thing when I was drinking . Except now , I am not. I don't wake up with the room spinning and I don't feel bad. Maybe a little bit depressed and wondering if I should do something new with my living situation. Midland, Texas is a boring town. No Lakes or mountains to gaze at and the only place to go out at night is AA, a restaurant, or bar. Being single my choices are very limited, I use to look forward to going to work. Now this is getting boring. I have been to more AA meetings and I enjoy these, but while I work I can't really attend these and that would be a cruch in a way.

AA cannot rule my life just guide it. I would get bored from going to a meeting every hour on the hour or every day for that matter. So Chris has to come up with an alternative to keep busy when I am at home beside looking at porn on the internet. lol..Really I don't look at that much porn..but in reality I do have to find a book I guess and start reading something. I watched a movie with Robert Deniro last night called the Intern. See it if you have not , it is a new release, but it pretty much is about a guy who is 70 and gets a job with a Google type company run by 20 something kids. It is funny and it is reality. He stays busy with yoga and other things , but it was good for me to see this show. Oh well I will report on what happens to me , right now I am just trying to get through each day, seems to be getting a little tougher than before, not sure whats up. I think its the boredom.Chris

Happiness With Staying Sober Socially

I have been in a rut the last few weeks, and I think I might of found a way around my glum. I work on call 7 days a week and I was getting burned out from my job. My attitude was changing , I really was not caring about myself or the job. I think people call this burnout.

Well for me I started to think about smoking pot again and then I knew I was in trouble, so I went to an AA meeting as soon as I could. Noticed that I was not making AA much during the week cause of my burnout period. SO I changed this and then I realized I was doing the best job I could and to make it a little more fun than I have been . I wake up early at 5 AM to start work and usually home by 3PM and I was getting slack in this area. I realize AA is a big deal but I was too bored and tired to go to AA meetings lately . I was slowly sinking and realized that my job is not my life, but it has to be a part of my daily living if I want money.

SO change again, I am now making sure I put some fun into my work and that I try to take different mind games so as to not dread waking up in the mornings. I hope I can stay positive, I am coming up on 8 years on May 21st of this month and i felt really down.

I guess I just have to understand that Im not that important but my well being is. I cannot drink nor will I . But that sick thinking comes into play at times when I am too bored or depresssed> maybe some of you out there have felt this way. There is a way out of the boredom and that is getting involved with projects like gardening or whatever. I will report later on what I have done, but to realize this and to take action now is most important..Chris

Sobriety and Having a Dog?

There is something to be said about having my Labrador Retriever as my friend and companion . I highly recommend getting an animal such as a dog that you can love when going through sobriety. The animal unconditionally loves you all the time. I have had Abbey my puppy for over threee years and she is always there for me . In the tough times I can hug her and even when I feel like loving her I can, she loves being loved. I am single so this puppy has been my girlfriend and friend in life. I treat her like a human and she loves me for it.

Someone to love and love you back is important in sobriety. I still have not found Mrs. right for me, so the dog just does fine in my case. She does not complain ever or get sad, or tell me any lies. Love her to the moon. I have been doing ok recently , my new job has its moments but I finally got off this weekend and decided to write in my journal. I will have eight years sobriety in May 21st of this month. That is a long time for me. However if your reading this and only have one day , that also is a long time , as I remember this as it was yesterday.

I basically was talking to my puppy and figured this would be good information to put on my blog since I love my pupy so much and has brought me company when I had none. So run out and get yourself a pet and learn how to give and love giving to this animal. Chris 5/1/16

Social Sobriety and God Living

Living with God in your heart and mind is possible once you have been sober . You may have God in your heart right now, and not be sober, if so then great you are in a win , win situation if this is your case. I see many people run from t the word God when mentioned in AA meetings and I really don't know why. In church many of us as little children may have thought God was this mean person that would come down and damn us to hell for messing around when we knew we should of. A force greater than ourselves is what God is taught to be and he is. The mention of God in AA is to find a higher power greater than ourselves that will love us and protect us from evil and bad wrongs that we seem to do to ourselves. 

I have always had God in my heart but until I started going to meetings I never really understood how to use his powers to make my life more livable. Do you have this problem? It is not unusual to fear the unknown and the unseen person that has great and almighty powers. However when you see a tree and the leaves and veins in the leaves , you have to kind of think there must be some supreme leader that can make such a beautiful tree. I , am a believer in faith now and not before I sober up that I had such a belief. God fills us with joy and sorrow and he gives us the ability to do right or wrong. He gives us choices in life and we make the decisions whether to act on these choices. That is God given power and love to each and every one of us. 

Do not give up on God when things are wrong in your life, sure I have doubted him from time to time and this is not unusual but I always knew something good would happen after ward. I believe as a recovering addcit and drunk that I have to rely upon God for my sobriety and the steps of AA to keep the faith. Why not try and talk to God on your knees right now for what you need and want. The miracles do happen and they happen often. God Bless Chris

2016 Sober Birthday Today

I turned 53 today on April 17th ,1963 and I tried to put together a trip , but just made a mess out of it. I am happy to be sober today and quite tired as I ended up going to Ruidoso, New Mexico on Saturday to celebrate my birthday by myself. I also played at the casino on my trip and did not win a thing. I went through ton of money and nothing hit on the one armed bandits. I usually do pretty good, but I have come to the conclusion that my hard earned money was not worth losing to a machine in a mattter of minutes. I had booked a hotel room as Ruidoso is about a 5-hour drive from Midland, Texas. When I was finished losing all my money, I checked in and then laid down for a moment, and checked out. I drove all the way back last night. Foolish as it was, because I was tired, I wanted to be home on Sunday. Addiction is always with the recovered alcoholic. whether it is sex addiction or gambling addiction , we have that personality that over comes us in some things we do. I can't seem to do things in moderation. This has been a ongoing problem since I have been sober.

Money problems have plagued me. It is no different than the alcoholic who has a drinking addiction, and if I don't stop gambling then I will have another problem as I already have this issue. I am blessed in that I am not completely broke from my escapade, but I hit myself hard and my credit cards are getting maxed out. I really want what I want when I want it. Obsessive Compulsive disorder to an extent. I am not sad , however, cause thing swill work out with the help of God and a little more control over my spending habits. It is simple just do not spend on stuff I cannot afford. The alcoholic who has to have everything , is a crazy person. I am a little crazy in this aspect.

I met a woman online from years back from High School and I was meaning to go visit her in Bryan < Texas. Decisions on not meeting her were maybe not sound. I thought after talking to her that she drank every night. She seemed quite drunk every time I spoke to her, so I decided not to go and see her because I did not want to deal with her issues. However, her issues may be unfounded, and maybe she was just tired, I don't or should not question a person if they are a drunk until I have met them. I could of been wrong, and I made up the excuse not to come and see her. I hope I don't live to regret this decision.I am lonely for sex, and love and a relationship, could she be the one? I don't really know yet. Life is very confusing when you know someone but from a long time ago.

Well life goes on today, and one more day for God to direct me in the right direction. I paused this part of the blog to run a few errands, and to go see my mother , and it was good. Sobriety has it's advantages and there a lot of people that would dis agree with me, and a few that would agree with me. When you run your life God driven like I have or have tried, the perspective on your future is good and relations with people are better than when I drank. Ask your self, would you be better off sober socially or not? Would it make a change in you and would it be positive. It has been for me, even though I question sobriety at points in my life, am I missing out on drining parties and going out to the bars? I am not going to test this theory out. God Bless

Its Been s Sober time lately

It is April of 2016, and I have had a great new month witha new position in life, and my sobriety is well in tact with myself. I had planned a trip[ on my birthday which is on April the 17th to Las Vegas, but I did not feel right going by myself, so I lost a few hundred on this trip. You sometimes have to lose a little to gain self-confidence in why you are sober. I did some soul searching and I decided that Vegas was not right for me in the long run. I love to gamble but the drinking that goes on there and being by myself did not settle with em right now. So I have canceled the trip and I am heading to the mountains of New Mexico , and staying at a lodge where it is beautiful. I plan to take my photography equipment and take some pretty shots of the area, with the weather being so warm in Texas, and cooler in New Mexico.

I have to slow down when things start going in a positive direction , because I have the disease of alcoholism. I know that sounds like a cop out but I have lived sober for eight years in a row now on May of this year. I will do nothing that will provoke my sober state of mind. God has seen me through some tough times and I feel he test us at times to see what we will do next.

My job is not stressful, which is what I needed, it does require me to work weekends at times and I have to accept this , however I am single and I have nothing else to do but watch TV and I make overtime. That is why I have not written in so long. I have been pulling 60 hour weeks and to me that is a lot of driving with work and trouble shooting. I wish all who are struggling with drugs or alcohol that they can see that you can have a good and fullfilling life but you do have to take action and not put it off. You have to go to meetings of AA and you have to believe in God the spirit. If not you may be doomed. I know for me I have to do these things , and practice these steps in all I do in life to manage who I am and whom I will turn out to be in my older years. I will be 53 this month. I grew a beard so I would fit in with work and fellow employees, however no one really enticed me to do this, It is just different for me, and I like change to an extent. So please listen here, God will make your dreams come true. I am a witness to this, but you can shoot yourself down. Try to stay positive and stop drinking or stay sober and enjoy the world for what it is , and not for what it is not..Have a Blessed Day ...Christopher 4.4.2016

The Sober Life Can Be Great!

I have been busy with my new position at work and have not had time to write. I have been getting overtime and I have to tell you it's nice to get, but it tires me out. Therefor , I have neglectrd to write in my blog. I have had many good things happen to me.

A member of my family had offered a loan to me to get myself out of debt. I could not believe it, I did not have to ask or anything. This person knew I was underneath a lot of debt from credit cards and it was taking forever to get them out of debt. Well a check showed up with more than enough to pay all my debt off and this person just wants the bare minimium  monthly to pay back over 4 years. What a deal staying sober others see you try and they give you miracles as this was. This is how my last sight years have been while sober. Miracles from God and my family and others whom I just knew from AA. This is a program of action though, cause I was told in the letter that followed the check " Chris because you have been an outstanding , sober , human being is why I am bailing you out of this mess. If you were drinking I would not of helped you in this manner." The words were not exact but what a deal in life. These miracles can happen to anyone out there who truly tries , and I have to admit I have tried hard lately to be a good person and a good citizen.

Wow, my life has really changed again and there will be the ups and downs but I would have to say cause I am sober today I have a job and a family that loves me. God Bless.

I am not a schizophrenic and neither am I.

Kind of a joke this morning for my headline. However, it is true there are a lot of people who drink that have mental disorders and they can recover from alcoholism if they have the capacity to know the difference. Most of us have that capacity to know right from wrong, but this is a disease . A disease of alcohol consumption seems to much for some people. They shrug this off and says yeah and I have a laughing disease or some smart ass thing to say. But alcohol has been listed as a disease that we have no control over. I believe I have an alcoholic drinking problem that is under control from God. I gave my drinking to God the spirit and I live sober day to day, even in the rough times of each day.

I had a wonderful time with my son who is 22 this year. He is not like his father, he is reserved and a thinker not a drinker or smoker, nor does he cuss. He is my angle from heaven and I love him very much. I put him through some tough times when he was growing up as a child verbally. I think I was controlling but what father is not controlling to thier kids, anyway I never physically abused him but verbally I may have. I never was knock down drunk in front of my kid, he did not see that side of me. I made sure he was safe and I never drove drinking with hiom in the car. I was a good father I think but his mother did not like me having him with me. So that brought out problems with our marraige years back. I am still divorced for over 20 years. I think I will stay this way, I am to set in my ways. Well its a good Sunday in this town and I have things to do before work so havbe a good day!1 Chris