It is about to be the new year 2015, Wow, how could it be!! I never really partied with anyone on New Years, I was always at home drinking and smoking. I didn't want to get a DWI or anything.I was a smart drinker in some ways, and that was one of them. If I knew I was going to drink more than one beer, I stayed at home..There was a DWI I got when I was a kid at 17 and that reflected back to what not to do. Driving and drinking do not mix with me. I could drive better is what I thought, and to this day I still think that I drove better when I had a few beers, but those days are long gone.
In Midland, we are having a Ice storm of sorts. The roads are closed and no traffic is in sight. It is in the teens in temperature, and I am stuck at home with my dog. I am still working though. I have training on different machines always, so I get paid for being at home training. Not too bad of a deal. It is lunch time and I felt like writing a bit so here it is.
When you are cabin bound like I am now, it brings back some old memories of what I use to do. I am glad I do not drink anymore, but if not sober I sure would go and buy a 12 pack and sit here andd play my guitar with a Cig hanging out my mouth and slopping the beer down..My neighbors would probably call the police cause I like to play loud rock, and that would be no good, I might get a PI. SO I think since I have almost 6 years of sobriety that writing is the best bet and doing my work online is even better, I can keep my job..
There is always two sides to a coin and which side you chose will make your day..I chose today to keep on living sober and I have..Being homebound because of Ice on the roads is ok..I just have to be creative in what I do so I don't get bored.In this town I live in each day I must be creative even after work or I might go gambling , online or at the casino, and this is not good either. One habit to another..It seems like I get addicted to most anything I touch or do that gives me a rush..Do you feel this way? It could be almost anything that gets my adrenaline going...I call it idle hands syndrome, and I have it bad sometimes.
That is why I write this blog is for no other reason thatn to communicate with you and myself. It is more of a diary than anything else. I look over the years and see where I progressed and where I did not.I have come a long way since I was 45 and drinking, and nothing can stop me now..I hope this has helped someone out there, but I am selfish and if this does not help anyone, so be it..I have to grab some lunch and do some work so I will leave you with this. Do not drive and drink..Period...Christopher
Living in a world of sober people and not so sober. A place for my interest in sobriety and how it affects life
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Living Sober through The Holidays 2014
It's holiday season again as it is every year. Living sober through the holiday season is no different then the rest of the year!! Is there a litttle bit more stress? Yes , of course there is..Some of us use to egt around out old school buddies and drink the night away and smoke . However if you have made the leap into a new faith of sober living you may not of gotten together with your old budies and if you did you might of not got drunk this year.
I kknow I had to change the people places and things in my life to stay sober. Did you?
Quite possibly you do not have the same friends as you did in your drinking days as you do now..I do not have many friends that are still living , so it's not too unusual to spend time alone reading books and collecting my comics as I do this for a hobby.
We all have our demons but if you believe in Christ our Lord he will rid these demons out and let you have a spiritually based holiday with no interruptions. Mine has been peaceful, with my family and the few friends I have in AA..Today is 12/30.2014 and I am off Thursday till Monday of this week, and that makes it nice to be able to sleep in , so to speak. Have you found it hard to sleep in? I have, really sleep in means about an hour more than 7 am for me. I have a schedule even on my off days to get things done at the house. God has made it possible for me to have chores to do to occupy my time, and then I have started reading more often than not books.
Living sober in 2014 was not bad, it had it's up and downs but mostly ups. I made several mistakes in life and what I did and said. I make no resolution when the new year starts, I just break them anyway..Have you really kept your New Years resolutions, or are they just conversation things to talk to friends about and laugh about?
Remeber , this is just a diary of my life and not to be taken too seriously because I do not take life to seriously or I would go nuts. I bought a new 2015 vehicle for work and home, and still do not know if it was stupid or not. It is not a Corvette , but it is what I needed for work and home life, so It is just the car I needed. God bless you all whom read this and take it One Day at a Time..Christopher...
I kknow I had to change the people places and things in my life to stay sober. Did you?
Quite possibly you do not have the same friends as you did in your drinking days as you do now..I do not have many friends that are still living , so it's not too unusual to spend time alone reading books and collecting my comics as I do this for a hobby.
Christopher and Son 2014 |
Living sober in 2014 was not bad, it had it's up and downs but mostly ups. I made several mistakes in life and what I did and said. I make no resolution when the new year starts, I just break them anyway..Have you really kept your New Years resolutions, or are they just conversation things to talk to friends about and laugh about?
Remeber , this is just a diary of my life and not to be taken too seriously because I do not take life to seriously or I would go nuts. I bought a new 2015 vehicle for work and home, and still do not know if it was stupid or not. It is not a Corvette , but it is what I needed for work and home life, so It is just the car I needed. God bless you all whom read this and take it One Day at a Time..Christopher...
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
Tis The Season of Alcoholics and Drug Abuse!!
Welcome all to my blog on sobriety and living life in our daily lives. This is a personal journal more than anything else. I have almost 6 years of sobriety this time around and I feel damn good. There are days that do not come offf like I think they should but there are always answers to my questions. I find myself struyggling with finaces on this holiday season as most of you might have problems with also. Do not worry there is always a solution to everything beside a drink and a drug.
Life is work!!If you don't have faith in what you do as far as living your daily life then there is struggles. I have not lost my faith , it continues to grow each and every day but not without some sacrifice on my part. Prayer helps 100 percent in times like now. I pray constantly , while I am at work and off. I pray for the answer to many questions I have and for help in doing my work when I need this. I always get a positive answer back. I might do everything just right when I work, but I try. That is all God wants us to do and our employer is to try..Not complain about having to go some place or do another task. You must have positive faith that leads you in a positive direction. Do not get negative on your self. This is easy to say but a little predictable to do.
Staying focused on this Christmas year is difficult for me, however through prayer each day keeeps coming and each answer also. I know I have to be positive in my work flow and to move forward in my program of alcoholics anonymous. I go only twice a week , but I have my schedule, if I think I need to go more often then I do. We have a Christmas party at the 12 step group in Midland, Texas that I will be attending at 530 pm on Thursday of this week. I usually do not go to these things but hey why not? My spondor will be there and so will my friends and others I have not met.
I am not a wholly roller with AA, I use AA as a support group and that is it. It does not keep me sober but implants into my head what sobriety is all about . To me sobriety is about God and not doing any drinking or drugging. If I hand over my bad habits to God he will tkae them away. I have to be honest in this though as I have other habits that need to be taken away but I have not gotten honest about them..So do yourslef a favor and be positive this Christmas season and honest with yourself, and you will have a jolly Christmas..God Bless Chris
My Puppy!! |
Staying focused on this Christmas year is difficult for me, however through prayer each day keeeps coming and each answer also. I know I have to be positive in my work flow and to move forward in my program of alcoholics anonymous. I go only twice a week , but I have my schedule, if I think I need to go more often then I do. We have a Christmas party at the 12 step group in Midland, Texas that I will be attending at 530 pm on Thursday of this week. I usually do not go to these things but hey why not? My spondor will be there and so will my friends and others I have not met.
I am not a wholly roller with AA, I use AA as a support group and that is it. It does not keep me sober but implants into my head what sobriety is all about . To me sobriety is about God and not doing any drinking or drugging. If I hand over my bad habits to God he will tkae them away. I have to be honest in this though as I have other habits that need to be taken away but I have not gotten honest about them..So do yourslef a favor and be positive this Christmas season and honest with yourself, and you will have a jolly Christmas..God Bless Chris
Friday, November 21, 2014
Treatment Centers (Are They Needed?)
I went to a few treatment centers when I hit bottom twice in my lifetime. I have to say that for a short while alcohol and drug treatment facilities are a way to stay sober for the lenghth of time you are to stay there. You have no choice and the community in which you are in seems so unreal. The fact is that it is not real. In every day life there are bars and liquor stores all around us and the temptation to take a drink is overwhelming at times in sobriety. Treatment centers have stores, but no liquor is to be found in these places. Everyone at the treatment facility is sober or at least appear this way.
I think they are a necessity for some people who have not been sober for long in their lifetime. The success rates in staying sober just out from a treatment center is staggering at about 3-7 percent will stay sober from leaving this treatment center. Why is this? Do they not teach how to live without drinking and drugging at these centers. Not really, you are in the now when you are locked up in a center, and the only contacts are with dried up drunks and counselors who have years of sobriety.
I have been to so many treatment centers and psychiatric places that I dould not sit down and tell you how many. Thats pretty damn bad, I know. I have almost 6 years of sober time now and the last 30 years of drinking really screwed me up with my past. The cool thing is , I have a life now that I would not trade for any drink or drug. That is the goal of one whom has been in and out of the treatment centers, or at least for me. I got sick and tired of seeeing sick and tired people, at these places. Yeas , I was one of them and had been homeless at least two times in my lifetime.
I guess I bring this up to remind myself of what I do not want to repeat in my life. The obsession to drink and smoke weeed has been taken away. What does that mean , you might ask? It means I know where it will take me if I decide to go back and start drinking again. I know the drill, so to speak and I don't want to fall back like so many people do. Until the goverment realizes that addiction is killing us off, and that alcohol is a disease that threatens their sons, and daughters. The viscous cycle will continue too endeavor and engulf people from now on. God Bless Happy Turkey Day..
I think they are a necessity for some people who have not been sober for long in their lifetime. The success rates in staying sober just out from a treatment center is staggering at about 3-7 percent will stay sober from leaving this treatment center. Why is this? Do they not teach how to live without drinking and drugging at these centers. Not really, you are in the now when you are locked up in a center, and the only contacts are with dried up drunks and counselors who have years of sobriety.
I have been to so many treatment centers and psychiatric places that I dould not sit down and tell you how many. Thats pretty damn bad, I know. I have almost 6 years of sober time now and the last 30 years of drinking really screwed me up with my past. The cool thing is , I have a life now that I would not trade for any drink or drug. That is the goal of one whom has been in and out of the treatment centers, or at least for me. I got sick and tired of seeeing sick and tired people, at these places. Yeas , I was one of them and had been homeless at least two times in my lifetime.
I guess I bring this up to remind myself of what I do not want to repeat in my life. The obsession to drink and smoke weeed has been taken away. What does that mean , you might ask? It means I know where it will take me if I decide to go back and start drinking again. I know the drill, so to speak and I don't want to fall back like so many people do. Until the goverment realizes that addiction is killing us off, and that alcohol is a disease that threatens their sons, and daughters. The viscous cycle will continue too endeavor and engulf people from now on. God Bless Happy Turkey Day..
Saturday, November 8, 2014
Chair Person For an AA Meeting
It's Saturday and I am the chairperson for my group . The 12 Step group of Midland, Texas/ Come out if you are from here or visiting the area. It is at 207 N. Midkiff Dr. and it is a small group. Usually have about 4 to 10 people show up. It is good to be a chair person for the Saturday morning group . It brings a beginning to the day of staying on track with what life is all about. I really like the first three steps and I practice them daily in my life, but we work on these on Saturday morning. I always learn more each Saturday than the last.
It is good to do service work at an AA group , it makes you seem worthwhile , while maybe helping out one or two new people also. I highly recommend that you do this type of service work if invoved in AA. It will bring out the shyness in you and concentrate on why you really are there. To help yourself and others that wake up early on Saturday morning to get thier dose of words.The Saturday meeting is at 10 am to 11 am so try to come if able..God Bless..Chris
It is good to do service work at an AA group , it makes you seem worthwhile , while maybe helping out one or two new people also. I highly recommend that you do this type of service work if invoved in AA. It will bring out the shyness in you and concentrate on why you really are there. To help yourself and others that wake up early on Saturday morning to get thier dose of words.The Saturday meeting is at 10 am to 11 am so try to come if able..God Bless..Chris
Thursday, October 30, 2014
Re-building Credit after Hitting Bottom Due to Drugs and Alcohol
Most of us have hit a bottom in our life leaving behind unpaid bills and bad credit. It is not unusual to be in such a situation after drinking and drugging. So I decided to tell you how I got my credit back after being below a 500 score on FICO. It is very easy to do, and it does take time. Here are a few tips that worked for me, and I actually have driven my credit rating up to 710 and have new credit cards.
The first thing is all those letters you get for being behind, forget them. Do not pay them. Find a credit company online that will work with you in deleting these negative remarks. Even if you owe on these they can be destroyed. It cost money but only about 45 a month, I don't want to endorse anyone, but hunt around for anyone that charges about that much. They usually dispute up to 5 items on your credit report and it actually works.
After that is done, your credit score will start to rise after a month or two, and you will be eligible for credit cards at the following companies. The score you will need to have is about a 600, Wallmart, Target, and Barclay Visa, JC Penny, Exxon, and others. These are the cards I was able to obtain. However be careful and do not max them out ..They all give pretty good credit to you even at a poor score of 600. They help you build credit if you let them sit and don't spend on them. Conns is a easy credit card store to get credit from. Besst Buy is another one that I found to be easy to get...
Too many cards can drive you stir crazy also if you start using them, pay them on time..Pay the full balance or more than the minimum payment..I made the mistake of maxing out my Visa cards and it has hurt my score again, so be careful.
If you need to take out a loan and have a credit score of 600 chose Springleaf Financial, they are reasonable, and they will loan on about 4k in money at 30 percent interest..Sometimes that is better on your higher interest cards.
I just thought I would mention this because I have been working on my credit for only 10 months now and I am fine as long as I can pay my bills..Good luck and God Bless..Chris Hyer10.30.2014
The first thing is all those letters you get for being behind, forget them. Do not pay them. Find a credit company online that will work with you in deleting these negative remarks. Even if you owe on these they can be destroyed. It cost money but only about 45 a month, I don't want to endorse anyone, but hunt around for anyone that charges about that much. They usually dispute up to 5 items on your credit report and it actually works.
After that is done, your credit score will start to rise after a month or two, and you will be eligible for credit cards at the following companies. The score you will need to have is about a 600, Wallmart, Target, and Barclay Visa, JC Penny, Exxon, and others. These are the cards I was able to obtain. However be careful and do not max them out ..They all give pretty good credit to you even at a poor score of 600. They help you build credit if you let them sit and don't spend on them. Conns is a easy credit card store to get credit from. Besst Buy is another one that I found to be easy to get...
Too many cards can drive you stir crazy also if you start using them, pay them on time..Pay the full balance or more than the minimum payment..I made the mistake of maxing out my Visa cards and it has hurt my score again, so be careful.
If you need to take out a loan and have a credit score of 600 chose Springleaf Financial, they are reasonable, and they will loan on about 4k in money at 30 percent interest..Sometimes that is better on your higher interest cards.
I just thought I would mention this because I have been working on my credit for only 10 months now and I am fine as long as I can pay my bills..Good luck and God Bless..Chris Hyer10.30.2014
Monday, October 27, 2014
Focused and Sober , Today!!
There are a lot of good things that happen when you stay sober, and one of them is being focused on your life and what's around you. I have been through many trials and tribulations while in the last six years of my sobriety. We all have been in actuality. How we handle these issues when they arise is a proven ability of God working within us. If you truly believe in God and pray for others and yourself, you will always be alright in the outcome of the possibilities of nature and life. Staying focused on what you are doing and saying is key to living sober.
I have been staying focused on my spiritual program for a long time. Even when I was drinking I was in complete contact with God, as I remember back. I , did however use my conscious contact with God in a different manner, than I do now. I am a more caring person that makes things happen, good and not so good. I make mistakes but I know when and how I did these mistakes now.
I have found a new love in life that I cannot explain. A new reason to get up early and get ready for the coming day and to see what awaits me. SOmetimes it's not exactly what I want but that is life. I do the job and I end up feeling good about what I have done. Never fails!! God Bless and Stay Focused!!Chris 10.27.2014
Stay Focused!! |
I have found a new love in life that I cannot explain. A new reason to get up early and get ready for the coming day and to see what awaits me. SOmetimes it's not exactly what I want but that is life. I do the job and I end up feeling good about what I have done. Never fails!! God Bless and Stay Focused!!Chris 10.27.2014
Sunday, September 14, 2014
Travel and Sobriety
Today is travel day for me. I am headed to Orange County, Ca for work for one week. It is always nice to get a break from thuis small town of Midland, Texas but I am still a bit unstable about flying and being sober. I don't worry about having to have a drink to fly. I just get caught up with anxiety over the entire trip. It is new every time I leave home, and now I have to leave behind my partner , Abbey. She is my dog.
However, I believe in God and he believes in me and all is going to be allright with this trip. I have a brother in Newport Beach , Ca. and he is picking me up at the airport and we will dine tonight before taking me to my hotel in Huntington Beach, Ca.. It seems over whelming this morning but I have read the bible and I am dressed to fly like a professional . I prefer to look as nice as I can , I am not sure why. In the
years people use to wear a suit and tie when flying by airlines, it was a privilege I guess. These days everyone just wears whatever, and that is fine with me, but I wear a sport coat and slacks , and just feel more comfortable looking nice.
I have been sober for over 5 years now and it just gets better each day. Even today is better than last year at this time when I had to fly to Chicago for work. That was very nervy yet this is also. I am calm , but anxious and this willl pass once I get going in the airports, I am positive. I just keep saying , Happy, Joyous, and free is what I am..I meditate and calm down. I love airplanes and I have seats next to the window like I like it so I have it all going my way or God's way.
God protects me and guides me everyday and he will today..I have to let go and let God run the show again like I do every day. It is not easy task for a former alcoholic to do. It can be done though if tried. Well its that time to roll back the car and head to the airport, have a great day and God be with us all...Chris
However, I believe in God and he believes in me and all is going to be allright with this trip. I have a brother in Newport Beach , Ca. and he is picking me up at the airport and we will dine tonight before taking me to my hotel in Huntington Beach, Ca.. It seems over whelming this morning but I have read the bible and I am dressed to fly like a professional . I prefer to look as nice as I can , I am not sure why. In the
years people use to wear a suit and tie when flying by airlines, it was a privilege I guess. These days everyone just wears whatever, and that is fine with me, but I wear a sport coat and slacks , and just feel more comfortable looking nice.
I have been sober for over 5 years now and it just gets better each day. Even today is better than last year at this time when I had to fly to Chicago for work. That was very nervy yet this is also. I am calm , but anxious and this willl pass once I get going in the airports, I am positive. I just keep saying , Happy, Joyous, and free is what I am..I meditate and calm down. I love airplanes and I have seats next to the window like I like it so I have it all going my way or God's way.
God protects me and guides me everyday and he will today..I have to let go and let God run the show again like I do every day. It is not easy task for a former alcoholic to do. It can be done though if tried. Well its that time to roll back the car and head to the airport, have a great day and God be with us all...Chris
Friday, September 12, 2014
Traveling and Being Sober
I will embark on a business trip this next week and I am looking forward to it however it has it's downfalls. I have a new puppy and she and I have really bonded, she is a Labrador and I feel like I am abandoning her to the Kennel . It actually feels like I have a child I have to take somewhere and leave cause Daddy is leaving her . The only thing is the dog does not know this. I tell her of course and I have discussed this in AA last night, but I can't help but feel sorry for my puppy and myself.
Being sober and having a companion like I have has made my life so much better. I highly suggest if your by yourself and have no puppy , you get one. It gives new meaning to life.
I now how someone to have responsibility for , even though it's just a dog. She is mine and we both play together and love each other. God knows this and some may think this is silly . But I can't stop thinking how lonely it is going to be not having her lick me when the alarm goes off in the morning , or how she is at night, sneaking underneath my bead to sleep. Me providing her comfort is what this is. It is nice to know that I can love another and be sober at the same time, even though it's just a dog.
I spoke enopugh on this subject now and it is time I take her, I just had to write this in my journal so I could get it it off my mind for a little while. God Bless you all!!
Being sober and having a companion like I have has made my life so much better. I highly suggest if your by yourself and have no puppy , you get one. It gives new meaning to life.
I now how someone to have responsibility for , even though it's just a dog. She is mine and we both play together and love each other. God knows this and some may think this is silly . But I can't stop thinking how lonely it is going to be not having her lick me when the alarm goes off in the morning , or how she is at night, sneaking underneath my bead to sleep. Me providing her comfort is what this is. It is nice to know that I can love another and be sober at the same time, even though it's just a dog.
I spoke enopugh on this subject now and it is time I take her, I just had to write this in my journal so I could get it it off my mind for a little while. God Bless you all!!
Thursday, September 4, 2014
A Dog in Sobriety
My New Puppy,"Abbey"09/04/2014 |
It takes patience and sometimes I run short of this. It takes love and I am full of love for my dog. I have to be in California for a week this month and I dread having to take her to the kennel, I love her so much and don't want her to think I just left her. However, I give her up to God and I let life keep on happening and I will be ok as she will.It is a humbling experience to own a dog and make sure she is fed and is kept healthy and trained. Responsibility is the utmost importance with my puppy.I would not of taken care of a dog years ago. This puppy folows me everywhere and is so smart, I am grateful for my girl. Sobriety brings about many different avenues in our lives and this is one of those times where it really pays off in loving one another.
Have a good day and God bless you on your journey as it can get rocky , yet trust in God and your day will be ok. I know this as I live this way every day. Pray for his forgiveness and you will be forgiven. Sins are always there for us to initiate and God willing he will forgive these sins if we ask. Living sober has its benefits and having a puppy is one of them.
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Higher Power AT Work
Just some Girl... |
Yes , I am sane and this is very true with my life. Any will run on self is not good. I pray in the mornings for God to be with me through the day and night and to make my judgements sane. I pray that all whom believe in God have a great day today. I pray for the world, indeed. I think this is powerful in my life and has lead to me being sober for so long. As I know that God is in control of my thoughts and my ways of dealing with other people. The rude , and the nice people of this world, is handled with care by me. I am a miracle of God and so are you!!
May God be with you today and tonight and ask for his direction in your day. Take a pause during stressful times and ask for his help in dealing with a situation you have no control over. He will help, this is a guarantee. Live this way of life and live sober and you will have a new beginning and a better ending. Have a Blessed Day and come back...Chris
Sunday, August 31, 2014
Five Years Sober
Hello world and good day to you all. I have been sober since May 23rd, 2009 and life has been so much better for myself. I go to AA meetings and see a counselor every week for the last few years and my life has improved 200 percent. My old friends , I am not sure what became of them. So be it. I live another new life today than what I did at age 45. I live in Midland , Texas and was brought up in the oil patch all my life. There were times of course I strayed away for years to other cities in the country. Howeve, my home is still in Midland, Texas.
Staying sober in this town is easy , it's the living in this town that is hard to do. The obsession to drink has left my body and I also stopped smoking when I quit drinking at La Hacienda Treatment facility in Kerrville, Texas.Its been only five years so God only knows how far I can actually go with my life.
I have a new employer and being all powerful and abiding by their work ethics , I have maintained a stable job, that I love. I have blessed with my family members wanting to spend time with me. I have few friends and that is fine with me. I have quality friends instead of quatity. I have a renewed look upon life and how my life goes ahead in the future. I have a future now and it looks bright.
I wish all these good things to all of you in the world and try to just stay away from that first drink and I promise you will have a better life ahead of yourself. God Bless
Staying sober in this town is easy , it's the living in this town that is hard to do. The obsession to drink has left my body and I also stopped smoking when I quit drinking at La Hacienda Treatment facility in Kerrville, Texas.Its been only five years so God only knows how far I can actually go with my life.
I have a new employer and being all powerful and abiding by their work ethics , I have maintained a stable job, that I love. I have blessed with my family members wanting to spend time with me. I have few friends and that is fine with me. I have quality friends instead of quatity. I have a renewed look upon life and how my life goes ahead in the future. I have a future now and it looks bright.
I wish all these good things to all of you in the world and try to just stay away from that first drink and I promise you will have a better life ahead of yourself. God Bless
Thursday, July 24, 2014
God This Morning and Sobriety
It is July 24th 2014 and a Thursday where I live. It will be Thursday alll day long. What does God have in store for me today? I started my day as usual with reading the Bible and then the Big Book of AA. I had my coffee and Coke and now I am ready to conquer my day.
This is the usual way I wake up with prayer in the shower and reading when I have time. I always wake up earlier then I need to now for a reason. I am not sure what that reason is? I feel drowsie early in the morning and it's hard to wke my ass out of bed, but once I get going it seems to just flow. I have a schedule I adhere to everyday. When I was drinking I had no schedule.
In the morning when I drank beer the night before I would be trying to think of excuses for not going to work and lost many jobs this way.I have had several jobs and so be it. Now, sober and clear headed these feelings of trying to get out of work do not hit my mind, it is how to get going and get ready for the day..It's a 360 degree way of living for me.
There is an AA meeting at 7 am and I think I will try to hit that sometime, that means waking up even earlier and being ready to be at work on time. So , this is an idea. You see, AA is spiritual and these meetings are spiritual. SO It is like going to church without a bunch of
hypocrites. I know that does not sound correct, but i suppose church is just not for me. The sprirt of God is what I live for on a daily basis, not the Church. The meaning that the church coveys is good I am sure, but the spirituality is not there for me.God is fine with that in my mind, a church is where a group of people get together and worship God , well I do this in AA. So what is the difference, except the Holiness of stained glass windows and an expensive organ that anyone can play in my eyes. I am a musician so I see the organ most churches have and if you hit one note on the thing it sounds magnificent.
There are those of you who do not agree with me and that is fine, this blog is for me not you. I write down how I feel right now this minute and if you care to read than fine. Maybe it will give someone an insight of an recovered alcoholic and how sick he is and has been. I am fine and spirituality wise I am sane and in God's prayer.Have a good Thursday as I am sure I will learn some lessons today as I always do everyday in my new life...God Bless You all...Chris
This is the usual way I wake up with prayer in the shower and reading when I have time. I always wake up earlier then I need to now for a reason. I am not sure what that reason is? I feel drowsie early in the morning and it's hard to wke my ass out of bed, but once I get going it seems to just flow. I have a schedule I adhere to everyday. When I was drinking I had no schedule.
In the morning when I drank beer the night before I would be trying to think of excuses for not going to work and lost many jobs this way.I have had several jobs and so be it. Now, sober and clear headed these feelings of trying to get out of work do not hit my mind, it is how to get going and get ready for the day..It's a 360 degree way of living for me.
There is an AA meeting at 7 am and I think I will try to hit that sometime, that means waking up even earlier and being ready to be at work on time. So , this is an idea. You see, AA is spiritual and these meetings are spiritual. SO It is like going to church without a bunch of
hypocrites. I know that does not sound correct, but i suppose church is just not for me. The sprirt of God is what I live for on a daily basis, not the Church. The meaning that the church coveys is good I am sure, but the spirituality is not there for me.God is fine with that in my mind, a church is where a group of people get together and worship God , well I do this in AA. So what is the difference, except the Holiness of stained glass windows and an expensive organ that anyone can play in my eyes. I am a musician so I see the organ most churches have and if you hit one note on the thing it sounds magnificent.
There are those of you who do not agree with me and that is fine, this blog is for me not you. I write down how I feel right now this minute and if you care to read than fine. Maybe it will give someone an insight of an recovered alcoholic and how sick he is and has been. I am fine and spirituality wise I am sane and in God's prayer.Have a good Thursday as I am sure I will learn some lessons today as I always do everyday in my new life...God Bless You all...Chris
Friday, July 18, 2014
Sobriety and Growing Stronger Each Day
I grow stronger each and every day of my sobriety. Do you understand what I am saying? I feel like I am growing each day with new challenges and opportunities in my life that I never had to deal with in life. This is truly a blessing in disguise for me. Today is Friday July 18th,2014 and it is 7:26 AM and I have been up since 6 Am. The funny part about this day is I wake up so damn early and only to read my Big Book and the Bible , so as to start my day off in the right direction. It just feels good. I like feeling good about myself and others. If this is how I must do this , then so be it.I have been doing this for almost five of the last six years and it has meaning in my life.
Each day I grow stronger with knowledge of people and how they perceive me and how I perceive them. It is knowledge that brings strength to an individual or at least me. I want to know about things I do not already know. In my line of work, the variety of it keeps me interested. I do not do the same thing over and over. I fix MFP printers and Production Copiers for a living and they can be very confusing on how they operate sometimes, and then there are the God times. Where I don't know anything about what I am doing and I push the right switch or pull out paper from a place it should not be and the machine starts working. That is God doing for me what I could not do for myself. Do I pray for this while I am working, your darn right I do.
I pray constantly while I am driving or listening to music, while on my way to a job or just when I feel like I need God into my life right now. I just say prayers in my head while I steer to the next job that God will be with me and imagine him sitting next to me as we are are brothers going to work. Try this and see how it feels, imagine God being with you and your the only one that knows about God watching over your shoulder while driving or working, it's amazing to me how more confident I am when I do this. I am never alone.
God is our creator and we are his children and once you accept this into your life, you will be lost. I use to be called a lost soul by a young lady I met in Austin during my drinking years. I never really understood her, but now I do. I had lost my true self in my illusions of what I was or doing with my life. No place or situation that I changed could get me in touch with myself and my soul. I had grown up in a Methodist church and feared God more than anything until I became open to him as I am now. Open your heart up to God and see what miracles can happen to you today!! God Bless...
Christopher Hyer@ Church in Odessa, Texas |
Each day I grow stronger with knowledge of people and how they perceive me and how I perceive them. It is knowledge that brings strength to an individual or at least me. I want to know about things I do not already know. In my line of work, the variety of it keeps me interested. I do not do the same thing over and over. I fix MFP printers and Production Copiers for a living and they can be very confusing on how they operate sometimes, and then there are the God times. Where I don't know anything about what I am doing and I push the right switch or pull out paper from a place it should not be and the machine starts working. That is God doing for me what I could not do for myself. Do I pray for this while I am working, your darn right I do.
I pray constantly while I am driving or listening to music, while on my way to a job or just when I feel like I need God into my life right now. I just say prayers in my head while I steer to the next job that God will be with me and imagine him sitting next to me as we are are brothers going to work. Try this and see how it feels, imagine God being with you and your the only one that knows about God watching over your shoulder while driving or working, it's amazing to me how more confident I am when I do this. I am never alone.
God is our creator and we are his children and once you accept this into your life, you will be lost. I use to be called a lost soul by a young lady I met in Austin during my drinking years. I never really understood her, but now I do. I had lost my true self in my illusions of what I was or doing with my life. No place or situation that I changed could get me in touch with myself and my soul. I had grown up in a Methodist church and feared God more than anything until I became open to him as I am now. Open your heart up to God and see what miracles can happen to you today!! God Bless...
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Still Sober after SIx Years!! How and Why of it?
I have not posted to this blog in a while and I decided to write a little bit in this sobriety blog. I have now over six years of sobriety and I feel just fine. It is something that confuses me when I go to AA and some guy blurts out ,"I have 667 days and 12 hours of sobriety"..Well that is fine and I am glad he does not think about his sobriety hourly..lol..However, we are all different, and for me it has become a part of my life.I don't think about it much at all, I just don't drink and I go to AA for reasons that I would say is my therapy.
You have to chose the right group for yourself. There are small groups and then there are the large ones. I prefer both, but I mostly go to a small group in Midland, Texas. It's called the 12 step group and there are quality people in my group with long term and short term sobriety. There has been a few I have met that have stayed sober and then one night have died from drinking again. So this disease can strike and kill at anytime you let up on it.
The How and Why of my sobriety is just I have a better life. It is more organized and I have daily rituals I go through in order to stay sober. These include reading the Bible, to reading the Big Book. I always get something out of both books and apply it to my day. It works and I have also started using hypnotism for a calming affect in my life. It is more of meditation than anything, and it works , if you want it to. Just like AA and what they stand for, You have to have an open mind. You have to believe in a higher power and I chose God as I know no other higher power than him.
It is July 2014 today and I feel better than I should. I have a meeting I go to on Thursday night, its called the La Hacienda out care group. It is therapy for me in this group as we go around the table and discuss how our week went. Each person contributes a little bit of their life story. You really get to make some close friends in this type of atmosphere. Its a small group of about 10 people, and it is a shame because it is a aftercare group for people coming out of treatment from La Hacienda Treatment Center in Hunt , Texas..
There are a lot of drunks in Midland, Texas and I am sure there are where you are from. The oilfield has several rough , and angry workers. They work long hours and make gobs of money and spend it on drugs and booze. Most in the oil field that work on drilling rigs are ex-cons. So , that is not to say they are bad people, just pretty damn rough around the edges, and I am glad I don't work around them. God willing this place will slow down a bit , as there are so many people in this town because of the oil boom we have. Prices are high for housing , if you can find any. The groceries are high and the gas for cars is high. This place will bust someday as it has boomed and dried up many times. Yet those who are not aware of this, will greatly be dissapoited when the boom stops.
Oh well, just checking in on my blog. Be safe and God be with you!!!
You have to chose the right group for yourself. There are small groups and then there are the large ones. I prefer both, but I mostly go to a small group in Midland, Texas. It's called the 12 step group and there are quality people in my group with long term and short term sobriety. There has been a few I have met that have stayed sober and then one night have died from drinking again. So this disease can strike and kill at anytime you let up on it.
The How and Why of my sobriety is just I have a better life. It is more organized and I have daily rituals I go through in order to stay sober. These include reading the Bible, to reading the Big Book. I always get something out of both books and apply it to my day. It works and I have also started using hypnotism for a calming affect in my life. It is more of meditation than anything, and it works , if you want it to. Just like AA and what they stand for, You have to have an open mind. You have to believe in a higher power and I chose God as I know no other higher power than him.
It is July 2014 today and I feel better than I should. I have a meeting I go to on Thursday night, its called the La Hacienda out care group. It is therapy for me in this group as we go around the table and discuss how our week went. Each person contributes a little bit of their life story. You really get to make some close friends in this type of atmosphere. Its a small group of about 10 people, and it is a shame because it is a aftercare group for people coming out of treatment from La Hacienda Treatment Center in Hunt , Texas..
There are a lot of drunks in Midland, Texas and I am sure there are where you are from. The oilfield has several rough , and angry workers. They work long hours and make gobs of money and spend it on drugs and booze. Most in the oil field that work on drilling rigs are ex-cons. So , that is not to say they are bad people, just pretty damn rough around the edges, and I am glad I don't work around them. God willing this place will slow down a bit , as there are so many people in this town because of the oil boom we have. Prices are high for housing , if you can find any. The groceries are high and the gas for cars is high. This place will bust someday as it has boomed and dried up many times. Yet those who are not aware of this, will greatly be dissapoited when the boom stops.
Oh well, just checking in on my blog. Be safe and God be with you!!!
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
God Got Me Sober Then God Got Me Drunk!!
Welcome to my blog and I will post your email to me as I just did with "God got me sober then God got me drunk"..This was in my blog email, and it struck me good. It either is from a person that is trying to heal through his alcoholism and is failing, or this person really means what he says.
Let's think about the statement this person sent me.Okay, I thought about it, and this person can say what he wants , this is a free USA and I am damn glad it is for now. He can say anything he pleases and believe in what he says.The "God got me drunk, I just don't buy unless God had a purpose for me to drink myself into a drunk state , so I would lean
how to recover and be a better person ,then I accept this. If this person is spiritual, and believes this he might have a hard time staying sober. I don't know, and really do not care.
This blog is about myself , and not the other alcoholics out there. I write because I like to see how far I have progressed in my disease against alcoholism.Everyday , I have to fight off the demons of doing wrong from right, it seems. I know drinking is not right for me ,so I do not drink. Period. God took this obsession away from me five years ago, and I don't think he intended my life to be a drunk.I used my will to drink not God's will to take the first drink.
I have to work at a funeral home on Thursday and I am dreading every minute I have to be in this place. Why? I don't know, exactly. This is a good reason to drink though, right..Wrong, I have learned to not drink when I have no control over my life, and all has turned out ok. I can find every thing, person, or situation to drink about , but now I chose to not drink it away and face my fears. I do ask from help from God to enter each and every day. I will do the same with this place full of death. However I have to remember that all these dead people in this place I am going to are actually going somewhere better. That is what the bible says, and I try to live up to the bible and it's words. Everlasting life is what we get for choosing to be the best we can in our human world. The spiritual self lives on. So I wonder how many thousands of spirits will run through this place when I work there. I am looking at this situation as a good thing, and that these spirits that are in this place will be willing to accept me...lol...I just hate that I have to go.However this to shall pass, and I live on to my next account.
Any more people want to comment , go right ahead, it gives me a reason to write about how I am feeling about life, today. God Bless You All!!!
My Oil Painting Christopher Hyer |
how to recover and be a better person ,then I accept this. If this person is spiritual, and believes this he might have a hard time staying sober. I don't know, and really do not care.
This blog is about myself , and not the other alcoholics out there. I write because I like to see how far I have progressed in my disease against alcoholism.Everyday , I have to fight off the demons of doing wrong from right, it seems. I know drinking is not right for me ,so I do not drink. Period. God took this obsession away from me five years ago, and I don't think he intended my life to be a drunk.I used my will to drink not God's will to take the first drink.
I have to work at a funeral home on Thursday and I am dreading every minute I have to be in this place. Why? I don't know, exactly. This is a good reason to drink though, right..Wrong, I have learned to not drink when I have no control over my life, and all has turned out ok. I can find every thing, person, or situation to drink about , but now I chose to not drink it away and face my fears. I do ask from help from God to enter each and every day. I will do the same with this place full of death. However I have to remember that all these dead people in this place I am going to are actually going somewhere better. That is what the bible says, and I try to live up to the bible and it's words. Everlasting life is what we get for choosing to be the best we can in our human world. The spiritual self lives on. So I wonder how many thousands of spirits will run through this place when I work there. I am looking at this situation as a good thing, and that these spirits that are in this place will be willing to accept me...lol...I just hate that I have to go.However this to shall pass, and I live on to my next account.
Any more people want to comment , go right ahead, it gives me a reason to write about how I am feeling about life, today. God Bless You All!!!
Saturday, June 7, 2014
Sober in a Alcoholic Society
Staying sober in a alcoholic society is key. There are beer ads and liquor ads that strike at us at all directions. The media is to blame and so are the companies that promote what they sell. They have a right to create a mass of media to sell their products , but to what extent? Your children and mine are affected by the ads that are on Bill boards in your city as well as mine. Every picture shows people having a god time and a bottle of their favorite drink next to them. Is this to assume that if I don't drink your product that I am to be unhappy and boring?
The society that we live in tolerate alcohol and the alcoholic, that is out of control. You have friends that drink too much , as I have them. Do we tell them, I don't unless they ask. I will be upfront and chose words that are not of an AA nature possibly. We were all there at one point in our lives. Could not put the beer down and when we did, we went and grab the car keys and made sure our breath was not smelling like liquor , just to go buy more liquor. The insanity of our alcoholism, is so obvious when you think back of how it use to be drinking.
Society and friends think that it's normal to drink. It is widespread throughout the world. To celebrate any holiday, we drink. Birthdays, Anniversaries, Joyous occasions are celebrated with alcohol. Every day of the week was a holiday for me , I would have to say. It was not a fun holiday in the end. It was off to the races , when I was coming down from a drinking binge. Back to the local store where they knew me by name and what I drank. I was special to this store owner!!
Friends , that I would call after catching a slight buzz would know right off that I was drunk when I phoned them. It was normal for them to cut me off when I spoke to some of my family members and close friends. I was a closet drinker and did not go driving around and drinking. I might get another DWI, so I thought I was smart in not driving and just drinking at home. I was alone and getting lonelier. It is heart breaking when I think about it, so I try not to think about the bad times. There were so many towards the end of my drinking though, it is hard not to forget..
Social outcast as I was, and not blending in with social drinkers was me. In fact, when I had to meet business associates for a drink out, I would not drink alcohol, because I knew I would not stop at one glass. I would drink soda water with lime , like I do now all the time. I used my head when I
did drink , and then I did not. After a while the body gives out from so much alcohol, and starts to kill you. Your liver goes bad, and you have to heal or you die.
This is the reality of being sober in an alcoholic society!! For some people and I am talking into the millions in the USA, alcohol is killing us. I am sure you can think of one or two people right this minute that is alcoholic and you can't do a thing about it. He has to change, not you changing him. That is where our thinking has to change in society. There is a cure for this disease and its rather simple. It just takes stopping that first drink and for long you will be a sober individual, with a life better than you had ever in your life... Christopher Hyer 6.7.2014
Photos By Christopher Hyer |
Society and friends think that it's normal to drink. It is widespread throughout the world. To celebrate any holiday, we drink. Birthdays, Anniversaries, Joyous occasions are celebrated with alcohol. Every day of the week was a holiday for me , I would have to say. It was not a fun holiday in the end. It was off to the races , when I was coming down from a drinking binge. Back to the local store where they knew me by name and what I drank. I was special to this store owner!!
Friends , that I would call after catching a slight buzz would know right off that I was drunk when I phoned them. It was normal for them to cut me off when I spoke to some of my family members and close friends. I was a closet drinker and did not go driving around and drinking. I might get another DWI, so I thought I was smart in not driving and just drinking at home. I was alone and getting lonelier. It is heart breaking when I think about it, so I try not to think about the bad times. There were so many towards the end of my drinking though, it is hard not to forget..
Social outcast as I was, and not blending in with social drinkers was me. In fact, when I had to meet business associates for a drink out, I would not drink alcohol, because I knew I would not stop at one glass. I would drink soda water with lime , like I do now all the time. I used my head when I
did drink , and then I did not. After a while the body gives out from so much alcohol, and starts to kill you. Your liver goes bad, and you have to heal or you die.
Photo By Christopher Hyer |
This is the reality of being sober in an alcoholic society!! For some people and I am talking into the millions in the USA, alcohol is killing us. I am sure you can think of one or two people right this minute that is alcoholic and you can't do a thing about it. He has to change, not you changing him. That is where our thinking has to change in society. There is a cure for this disease and its rather simple. It just takes stopping that first drink and for long you will be a sober individual, with a life better than you had ever in your life... Christopher Hyer 6.7.2014
Monday, June 2, 2014
Five Years as of This Month , Sober
I have not kept up with this blog on Sobriety and I will try to keep it going since there are people reading it.As of this writing , I will receive my 5 year chip for sober living on Tuesday night. It is a bigger deal than I first thought. I have for the last year been granted a great job in which I get to travel. I have a healthy son that is a non drinker and non smoker and he is 20, I have been blessed with a new house that was given to me by my mother, I have a daily routine, which I never had before sobering up. I pray constantly and my prayers are answered in a way I can't really put my finger on.
God has given me everything I could possibly need in life , and God either is or is not. He is the main reason for my success and I have to say AA also has improved my thought patterns about people and life. Watching the new comer come in all strung out with no hope. That is the real deal with AA is helping those with no hope as I was one of these. They really don't seeem to get it, but a couple will stay around and sober up out of 30 people that come to my group , which is called the 12 Step Group of Midland, Texas.
The AA group I go to has a low attendance and I seem to like it that way. Every one has their preference, and I go every Thursday and Saturday to this group. It is on my schedule to do this and I don't even think twice about it. It has become habit to me and a good one at that. You learn that your problems may not be as big as you think when attending an AA meeting, and then you might just go away in a pink cloud, and happy that you went. That to me, is the spiritual side of AA, the God miracle working in our group as maybe in your group.
I have chaired meetings the last few months and enjoy doing this. If my sponsor ask me to do this , I automatically will. There is something to be said about relationships with others in AA that are staying sober, you can trust them. People that you would of past and not look back at, now are respectable citizens with jobs and family.
My family is not very close, however since I have cleaned up they have become closer. My mother and I were so far apart when I was drinking that we never really knew each other. Now I have the deepest respect for her and my brothers and sister, that are in my family. My father on the other hand still drinks quite a bit, and God Bless him, and I hope he lives out a good life. I still have lunches with my father at the bar of a local restaurant. It bothers me none that he drinks wine consist
ently while chatting to me, and I don't bug him about his drinking. He is 78 years old and has a few DWI's and knows what he is into if he gets caught. It is his life and I can't tell him what to do. He is wealthy and thinks he can buy his self out of this. I just pray he does not hurt anyone, or he could not live with himself.
On a positive note, Life is good, and it is not easy being single in this town I live in. I am making the best of it the only way I know how, is to not take a drink. That's it!!!Really once you stop and stay stopped, life gets better, but it takes time. I am living proof of this. Have a good day, I know I will. Christopher Hyer
Don't be caught in this!!lol |
The AA group I go to has a low attendance and I seem to like it that way. Every one has their preference, and I go every Thursday and Saturday to this group. It is on my schedule to do this and I don't even think twice about it. It has become habit to me and a good one at that. You learn that your problems may not be as big as you think when attending an AA meeting, and then you might just go away in a pink cloud, and happy that you went. That to me, is the spiritual side of AA, the God miracle working in our group as maybe in your group.
I have chaired meetings the last few months and enjoy doing this. If my sponsor ask me to do this , I automatically will. There is something to be said about relationships with others in AA that are staying sober, you can trust them. People that you would of past and not look back at, now are respectable citizens with jobs and family.
Marfa , Texas |
ently while chatting to me, and I don't bug him about his drinking. He is 78 years old and has a few DWI's and knows what he is into if he gets caught. It is his life and I can't tell him what to do. He is wealthy and thinks he can buy his self out of this. I just pray he does not hurt anyone, or he could not live with himself.
On a positive note, Life is good, and it is not easy being single in this town I live in. I am making the best of it the only way I know how, is to not take a drink. That's it!!!Really once you stop and stay stopped, life gets better, but it takes time. I am living proof of this. Have a good day, I know I will. Christopher Hyer
Friday, May 2, 2014
Alcoholics and Denver Colorado
The legalization of marijuana in the Colorado area had me wondering the other day. I was thinking how nice it would be to go to the store and pick out my dope by flavor. How nice that would be. I don't smoke pot anymore, it has been 5 years since May 2009 since I have smoked. I am an alcoholic though, and a drug addict that has recovered, or have I.
When you think of legalized pot, like in Colorado. It has me thinking how nice it would be to go back to smoking pot. However it would trigger my drinking a beer with smoking, so that would not work.
The same old sick thinking starts to creep in when they legalize stuff like this. Its like going to your local convience store and picking your drug of choice , beer, pot, whatever else they sell.It makes it hard on some of us that live to stay sober ,and stay sober to live. It is a choice of your own.
Anyway had to throw that comment in there. I wonder if there is pot smoke all around the place in Colorado? I might have to visit, but it is like a gambler with gambling problems and going to Vegas. Could this hurt Colorado, by legalizing Pot? I doubt it so many people smoke it. Just m,y thought for the day. Have a great day and God bless...
When you think of legalized pot, like in Colorado. It has me thinking how nice it would be to go back to smoking pot. However it would trigger my drinking a beer with smoking, so that would not work.
The same old sick thinking starts to creep in when they legalize stuff like this. Its like going to your local convience store and picking your drug of choice , beer, pot, whatever else they sell.It makes it hard on some of us that live to stay sober ,and stay sober to live. It is a choice of your own.
Anyway had to throw that comment in there. I wonder if there is pot smoke all around the place in Colorado? I might have to visit, but it is like a gambler with gambling problems and going to Vegas. Could this hurt Colorado, by legalizing Pot? I doubt it so many people smoke it. Just m,y thought for the day. Have a great day and God bless...
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Why Am I Alive
There is a reason why you are alive today. God planned it this way. Yes, you may have had bad habits and still have them. However, God planned you in the beginning. He has plans for you ever since the day you were conceived. He loves you. He loves me. There is a reason why you are breathing today, it is God's will that we breathe and some do not. He knows when we will die and when we will fail, but is it really a failure to live at times, or are these just lessons. We did not create ourselves, so we do not know how we were created . God created you in his image and Rick Warren , "Purpose Driven Life" is a great example of why we live. Set goals, aim high, break bad habits and live. Live today and be successful.
God loves alcoholics and he planned you to be this way, not you. He did this possibly for you to concieve your purpose in life. Life as a spiritual person who now understands God's powers and strengths in your life. I really believe we are meant to be the way we are. If you treat others with the same respect that you would like, that is what God would like us to do. God Bless. Christopher
God loves alcoholics and he planned you to be this way, not you. He did this possibly for you to concieve your purpose in life. Life as a spiritual person who now understands God's powers and strengths in your life. I really believe we are meant to be the way we are. If you treat others with the same respect that you would like, that is what God would like us to do. God Bless. Christopher
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Faith Is Big With God and Sobriety
To have faith in the Lord God is to have a type of humility for life. You have to humble oneself to get faith . Faith in God is trusting him to help us in our every day lives. By faith all things are possible in life. The good and the bad can be controlled by faith in God. Do you have the faith to walk with the Lord and stay sober today? It is not an easy thing to be humble and let go of the things we use to control in your lives. To give it to the spiritual God is not easy until you have done it several times, then it comes naturally. I have faith in that I will do the best job I can today and everyday that I ask the Lord to help me in my work and life. God knows what is going to happen to me today already , it is how I deal with this faith is what determines the outcome of my day. I can walk with God by my side or not. It is up to me, however the control is in God's hands as I go out and stay sober and try to contribute to life and my work in life.
To have a spiritual awakening you have to let go and let God become your leader through each day. You pray for his guidance and his strength to keep your head up high. What is in your past is the past and will not be relived. Look forward to the future for greater things to happen in your life, no matter how small or big they are, that will be God working in your life.God is a kind and gentle spirit that will effect your relations with everyone you come in contact with. Try it one day to be gracious and show grace by being kind. Even if you may not feel this way , it will reflect in your attitude toward one another. Try it...God Bless. Christopher
To have a spiritual awakening you have to let go and let God become your leader through each day. You pray for his guidance and his strength to keep your head up high. What is in your past is the past and will not be relived. Look forward to the future for greater things to happen in your life, no matter how small or big they are, that will be God working in your life.God is a kind and gentle spirit that will effect your relations with everyone you come in contact with. Try it one day to be gracious and show grace by being kind. Even if you may not feel this way , it will reflect in your attitude toward one another. Try it...God Bless. Christopher
Monday, January 6, 2014
Worth Living For
There are times when I wish I knew what the hell I am living for. Is it to please someone or myself? I wake up say my prayers and hope that each day will be a great day and not all are. They are not bad days , as I try to pay my bills and be responsible. This is called living in itself. I had never really been responsible for my own stuff. I would put it off and wait on this or that bill. I got that taken care of this weekend , and I payed all my bills that I owe right now. I feel good about this and maybe this is just life.
I incur bills from credit cards, car payments, insurance IRS, and everything imaginable. I am trying to cut back some of these bills and doing good at this. Being responsible is part of living sober and the AA way of taking control of oneself.It has taken me almost 5 years of sobriety to understand this . I am now realizing how irresponsible I was. My finances were always in debt. I was living a life of lies and deception. I was drunk or hung over and just did not want to pay my bills. Maybe I am the only one that was this way, I don't know. I do know it feels good to know they are paid now and I do not get harassing phone calls anymore. Growing up is what this is called.God Bless and have a great day...Christopher
I incur bills from credit cards, car payments, insurance IRS, and everything imaginable. I am trying to cut back some of these bills and doing good at this. Being responsible is part of living sober and the AA way of taking control of oneself.It has taken me almost 5 years of sobriety to understand this . I am now realizing how irresponsible I was. My finances were always in debt. I was living a life of lies and deception. I was drunk or hung over and just did not want to pay my bills. Maybe I am the only one that was this way, I don't know. I do know it feels good to know they are paid now and I do not get harassing phone calls anymore. Growing up is what this is called.God Bless and have a great day...Christopher
Friday, January 3, 2014
There is Good in This World
I had a thought the other day. Why was I living and what do I contribute to society. I don't really know the answers. I live for day to day for my work . I have a son that counts on me to be here. I have a Mother and a Father that enjoy me when it is convenient for them. I guess these are good enough reasons to show up and suit up for work each day and make a living and be sober. These people rely upon me even though I barely see them every day. even at age 50 , I am still single but by my choice and I cannot blame God for this.This town I live in was to blame for my drinking years, I thought. However when I look back and think it matter none where I lived. I drank to oblivion wherever I lived. Always blaming the city and my loneliness, and that was why I drank. Loneliness is a good reason to drink. It is not a valid reason for destroying your body and others lives though.
That is why I stay sober and get up everyday and say my prayers. I don't go to AA much anymore. I had a friend die and for some reason it has kept me away from AA. I have been enjoying coming home after work and just lying down and watching TV and sleeping. I hope this is normal, I am not sure, just kind of tired from work I guess lately. I need to get up and start going to AA again so I do not slip back into a recluse. I can do this very easy.
I have gotten rid of my Corvette and my SUV for a smaller car that gets better gas mileage and this is responsible. I hate being responsible. This is what sober living does to me. I traded off my toys for a car that makes sense for my work and life. I , also had to cut back on bills as they were high in car cost. Responsibility is discipline where you may not be use to like myself.God bless and I am glad I wrote this today so I know now why I am here. Have a good day..Christopher
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