Sobriety and Being Alone

You are never alone. You might think so since there is no one in the house with you. But really, God is with you or your higher power is near you if you are sober right now. I thought about this since I am usually alone at night. However, I have a Labrador that I love and treat her like a human. plus the almighty spirit I call God, to whom sees my actions and keeps me from loneliness every single day. It takes a little bit of time to accept this. However, with myself and what I do for work, I know God is with me during the day and the night. He never runs away, he is in me. I'm not God but I believe the spiritual God I worship is inside me. That is how he can tell me when the oven is hot don't touch it with my hand. If I start thinking stupid drinking thoughts, he rids these almost immediately. I never thank him enough. I don't think a person could love his God as I do mine. You have to love yourself a little bit for God to come into your soul and speak to you. Maybe not words as much as actions from the spirit I pray to all the time. I am not ashamed of prayer or for whom I am praying for.

Yes, I pray for myself, just as long as it helps others. I pray for the world that believes in a higher power and for them to have what they desire. We all want to feel needed and loved. If you learn how to accept yourself for whom you are, the love shines inside out of your body. You turn into a good human to be around. Even if it's with your animal that loves you unconditionally, I believe they have a spirit that is a miracle from God that enables us to love animals. They are comforting and loving no matter how most people act. Ok, since this is my site I am going to plug my Website , I could use a sale or two. The prices are quite cheap, and free shipping. Ok,
I will stop at that, but please help a recovering alcoholic that is trying to spread the word of love with my prayers and my words. Have a nice day.

The Police and Sobriety Checkpoints

I read this article this morning and I said for all the people that went through this check point , they only found two people intoxicated. Please read below.

Sobriety Checkpoint In Diamond Bar Nets Two Arrests

DIAMOND BAR, CA -- An overnight driver's license/sobriety checkpoint in Diamond Bar netted two arrests, the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department reported Saturday. One person was arrested on suspicion of drunk driving and another motorist was arrested on suspicion of operating a vehicle with a suspended or revoked license, the Sheriff's Information Bureau reported. Deputies also issued one citation.

The checkpoint at Diamond Bar Boulevard and Highland Valley Road began at 6 p.m. Friday and ended at 2 a.m. Saturday.

The Sheriff's Department reported that 838 vehicles were screened at the checkpoint.

--City News Service/Shutterstock image

Get the Diamond Bar-Walnut 

I know one this if this was done in my hometown of Midland about half of the 800 people these officers pulled in would have DWI or DUI. This little city I live in of 130K or more people is full of drunks at this time of night. I don't even go out this late at night. Have a good day. Chris

I have A Online Store Go Help an AA Guy out!

Hello, it is a beautiful cloudy day in the sober land today and I was thinking, Hey I got an online store that I need to plug into this blog of mine. I have about 2k readers a month on here. I never intended on getting people to read my alcoholic writing but it seems some have an interest in my life. So here is another part of it. Go to 925silverring.com and support your fellow alcoholic in trying to make a living online. They are ladies rings. Anyway, it is a nice day here and to wake up not hungover is an everyday blessing for almost 10 years now. It gets normal after a few years that is just how I am, clear-headed and ready to accomplish something every day.

I am sponsoring a guy right now, but I am not really good at it. I let the person take their time and get used to being around recovering alcoholics and then work the Big Book with them if we get a chance. I am no better than the man that just came out of treatment and a drink away from being the person I refuse to go back to. After time in AA you realize this new life is just how it is, the good and the negative. There really is not a negative, there is I don't drink time. The times when you use to drink you just do not do those things anymore and day by day it becomes a challenge and then easier. It takes time, Hell I was a wreck my first year, so my heart pours out for those starting a road to recovery, as it seems like time can go by slow in the start. I am blessed by God in so many ways that I get used to the blessings of my family and how valuable time spent with those you love is so important.

I wish all alcoholics and druggies to have a special week and try to enjoy the small things in life. Love your family and wife as never before because
 the next day may not come for all of us. God Bless Today

Midland, Texas Oil Boom and Sobriety, Is It a Joke

I was thinking of all the people that have moved back to the West Texas town in the Desert call Midland, Texas. Midland is halfway between El Paso and Dallas, Texas, therefore, the name Midland, the halfway point from the cities of DFW to the border of Mexico. Do we have a wide variety or folks? Yes, from the Cartels from El Paso that is making money off the locals with drugs to the bustling city of DFW that brings in Businessmen and women to cash in on the oil boom. To stay sober in a city like Midland is absolutely an incredible feat for anyone. No real entertainment except for the rich who drink away the days and nights and others from areas of the USA that want to cash in on the boom. However with Apartments, if you can find one, start at 1700 a month for a one bedroom. The unemployment rate is like 2.2 percent and people with houses here rent rooms out for 600 to 1200 a month for a room out of their houses. Go to Craigslist if you think I might be wrong and look up housing here plus jobs. There are more jobs than qualified people, so a lot of companies are training you for a position that only exists in the oil field. So beware because this is the third boom I have seen in Midland then it will bust like usual. Then all the people that came here will leave the deserted area of the country. Most are smart this time and bring RV's hooked up to massive pickup trucks for work in the fields. The problem is where to find land to park the RV.

In AA I've noticed people from all over the country filling up rooms at several AA clubs in town. That is good, but the worst thing I think I have noticed is the homeless sleeping in cars, nice cars, cause they can't find a place to spend 1100 a month to sleep in, that is fucking sad. But hey this is where the jobs are and if you are fortunate and have a roof over your head and paying the prices of living here, you really won't make more money due to the expenses you are having to shell out for this move to Midland or maybe some will.

The bars stay full and there are plenty of DWI people in AA trying to get off the charges from excessive drinking in town so I assume the city is making some good money from these alcoholics. So everyone benefits from a boom in Midland and Odessa, Texas. I can hardly blame most people for drinking while they stay in this city, as it is an activity that is popular and pushed by the local beer makers conventions here almost every other few months. That's entertainment, however, I forget to mention we do get top musical acts coming here to play because again the money is here.

There are churches here almost on every other block in the town and I am sure they benefit from all the people that arrive in this town, and God bless them. So if your spiritual or religious there are a few churches to entertain you as well. My advice to someone coming here is to research the options for where you are going to live, put a deposit down, and call today to schedule an Interview, because you will get hired, and some are on the spot interviews and that is why most are unprepared to live here, they are making 40k at Whataburger but no place to sleep. Now that is not an exaggeration, but the truth.

If you are a recovery person from a 12 step addiction, get yourself a home group as soon as you can and maybe make a friend or two, and maybe things will work out just fine. AA people who practice the program usually have a higher power that helps these people perform miracles and these are needed in this town in order to live a sober and good life in Midland, Texas.
Good Luck and God Bless.

Saying Thank You for Sobriety

I get caught up in myself and I need to remember to say Thank You, to those who have to listen to my bullshit and even read my blog. This blog makes no money, and I never set out to make any money from it. This is just a way I can get matters off my chest and remember what I have done stupid and smart. I have a lot of problems in my sobriety but I am sober. That was my main goal, right. I still dabble in stuff I should keep my nose out of, but I am not perfect and I am interested in the health as Americans are of the age of CBD and Marijuana Legalization. Pretty darn confusing, and maybe it is meant to be this way. I am in my mid-50s and I knew that Marijuana would be legalized when I reached this age, I really did but it seems like our country is split on politics and now states are separate from the Federal government. Just crazy shit like this could make a person want to get loaded. However AA is still around and my feelings towards alcohol are yes, it is there, so fucking what. I do not participate in alcohol drinking and I have my reasons as I am sure you have yours. My life has been better without it, my social life still sucks but maybe that is just me.

I have not written in a while and I am going through another job change, and getting kind of old at that..lol However I am still able to walk and talk and my family loves me, which is what matters. I am sure if you are sober or even a drunk someone loves you very much, hell I love you and I don't even know you, but you're
on my blog so you must care about what is within these notes. So Thank You. Chris

Stupidity and Sobriety

I have been sober for nine years this May 21st and I also have done a bunch of stupid things in my sobriety. I also witness others in AA that are sober but stupidity seems to follow them as they talk about their experiences. The definition of stupidity is behavior that shows a lack of good sense or judgment.

"I can't believe my own stupidity"

So Who is to judge one's stupidity is it me or you or is there an organization out there that says, "Yes he is the stupid one". He goes sober for 30 days then comes back in and preaches the AA word from the Big Book verbatim without having to open it, then leaves and proceeds to drink again. I have met several of these stupid people. However, this is just my opinion on stupidity. One who says they are practicing the twelve steps with a beer can in his right hand instead of his left hand, therefore limiting his drinking ability.lol

I guess it goes without saying if you read my articles and the stupid things I did. One was trying out CBD from a marijuana Hemp plant could be a cause to call me stupid. I was not thinking and wanted to experiment with CBD as I have anxiety still but on CBD, my anxiety seemed to diminish. I was not smoking pot and I was not ingesting THC as far as I knew and read, that was stupid. Wanting to feel different than I normally do is not a safe way to live in alcoholics anonymous. It can lead me right back to drinking a beer cause that made me feel good also, however, the consequences of alcohol were devastating to me and my family.

Well, I saw a car driver do several stupid things this morning and it brought out the stupidity thoughts I had. Like I said I write this blog to journal my life as I try to progress through the social sobriety lifestyle that I have chosen. I make mistakes but one is I have not had a drop to drink in 9 years. I am no better than the guy who has 24 hours of sobriety but I am smarter than ever on what stupid is. Have a good day. Chris

Mothers Day Stay Sober Today May 13th 2018

It's Mothers Day and one thing I can do is stay sober 24 hours for my self and my Mother who has put up

 with me and my crap for so long. My mother is still living and age 81 and she is in good spirits and health and looks much younger, however, I can see the age starting to change in her. I am 55 myself, so I am very blessed to have my mom around and living and she is still wanting to love me and be around me. What a woman I can say that no one compares to my mom, and you can probably say the same about your mom. If you drink, just for today try not to drink around your mother, 24 hours, just one day. I know how hard it can be, but it might be a start for you to have eternal life granted back into your soul.

God grants us the serenity to move on with our lives and even when we make mistakes he grants those mistakes and if you ask for forgiveness, that will be granted also. How do I know, because I am a sinner and I make bad choices every day, I try not to make decisions that will blow up in my face, but I do. Then a miracle of some sort comes into my life whether it be a job or a person I love, and that is the reward for asking for forgiveness. Please check this site out,   http://chrchunltd.churchonline.org/

I think you will be surprised at what you find. God Bless the Moms out in the world. Chris

Alcoholic ? Now How Can I be One if I Don't Drink Anymore

I have a problem with AA. How could I be an alcoholic if I freakin don't drink anymore? Good question I think and I am sure if you are a recovering or recovered alcoholic you had to ask this question to your self. Is it because we call ourselves alcoholics to impress others in AA. I would like to stand up and say "Hello I'm Chris and I am here to learn how to live life without drugs or alcohol, can you help me"?Maybe someone has said this in a meeting. I should because that is why I go to AA meetings and to learn how to live through the Big Book of AA is fine in the 1930s when it was written at least the initial book. I find a lot of biblical information on how I should live in this book, but does it need to be rewritten to the time we are now living in?

I listen to old timers say the same old shit day after day sometimes, and I can tell you what they are doing right now. They are at an AA meeting telling the same old shit again, sometimes three or four times a day at different clubs. I am not mad but AA to myself needs to deal with the present day, not back in the drinking day,cause for some of us, and only a few of us, do not have to drink today nor have even thought about it, but we have thought of what am I to do now that I don't party on a Friday or Saturday night, and I get back the same answers, go to an AA meeting.

I don't know about people in AA, they are strangers at meetings I do not attend regularly, How do you trust these newcomers coming in than going back out then coming back in and so forth. I never give out my address to a sponsee and rarely give my number to a stranger, because if they go back and get drunk, they might call me at 2AM in the morning and I go to bed at 9PM cause I have had it with the day and I get lots of sleep and wake up at 630AM almost every day. This is a habit that I got into just like not drinking or buying beer or pot. I have a habit of not looking at beer and not hanging around and body that smokes dope. I think that is the key to sobriety and it is hard for a guy to not want to go to the bars and have a drink, I can do it but just for so long, then I have to go cause these people are having too much fun and my thinking is or you poor bastard your going to hurt like I use to.I plan to be pretty old when I can't type anymore. God Bless and Have a Good Night. Chris
and wake up drinking like I use to do, .However, that may not be true it is what goes through my head. See, I think people that go to bars go to get fucked up, but I am wrong because I have seen a small percentage have a half beer and leave or keep sitting there talking with that half beer, drink that bitch is what I am thinking. Hurt like your supposes to. I know they are not me and I am glad I am not trying to be them, cause I mess up badly when I drink. Nine years sober this month I have and I have AA and the spirit of my God for this. Sure I have tried a few things that might cut through my sobriety but it was not alcohol, and or drugs. Remeber I write this as a journal of how I feel and not for your pleasure but for mine. Someday I will look back at all the stupid and not so stupid things I have written

Want Money Come to West Texas Social Sobriety

I am going off the alcohol beating path on this article, The oil prices on the stock market show about 70.00$ per barrel of oil being traded, so this, in turn, means work in Midland and Odessa, Texas and surrounding areas. If you have just sobered up and need to make money and don't mind the oil field, come on down like the rest of the USA. Yes, the cost of living is outrageous but with your 25.00 an hour job you should be ok, that is if you are involved in the oil business. Truck haulers are making 100k a year, not bad for driving a truck I this flat land of dirt and bad traffic. There are, of course, other jobs in the area associated with the oil business as people have to eat so restaurants are doing their fair share of the business. Don't be surprised to wait for about an hour for lunch to get served, there are not enough of the lower paid workers, however, the last boom these burger places were paying attractive 14.00 an hour for workers, so this will happen and is starting to happen right now.

There are a lot more drunks on the road so that should be comforting and the police departments cannot find places for new recruits to live so that has been put on hold in some areas of the county. An AA meeting is like going to a strange place now as newcomers from every city in the USA are here to make the big money.

It cost just as much to live here in Orange County, California now. A studio apartment runs about 900-1000 per month and you would be lucky to nail one of these. The area was pretty well prepared for this new boom to hit as it had built several apartments, but beware what comes up goes down in the oil business, I have witnessed this now three times. The rig count in the oil field is the highest ever recorded for the area and provides for 1/3 of all the oil for the country. This one will last a while because of the new techniques for getting the oil out of the ground. A big sinkhole should happen when this is all down and said, as drilling companies are sucking the oil out and drilling horizontally, and vertically, so they are possibly sucking oil for miles underneath my feet. If you have comments please leave them. God Bless

Thy Will be Done Social Sobriety

On Page 86 of the Big Book of AA there is a couple of paragraphs in this that say when we go through the day we see where we could help others not be self-centered and such. I read this every morning and then it says on page 89 I think that during the day we should say "Thou will be done", and keep saying this when we no longer have control over a problem or instance where we may be confused as to what we need to be doing during the working day and night. I find this quite useful and have begun using this phrase when I want to lie about something or just want something to go my way. "Thou will be done", Not my will be done..lol. However, it is very easy and comforting when done at the right time, because you know at this point in your day you have done everything in this world to ignore a situation or put something off. When saying this little phrase, I have noticed I seem to turn my car around and take care of something I did not want to or made me pull over and say I am sorry over the phone to someone I might have hurt earlier with my words.

We are not perfect but we seek perfection in our daily life trying to live sober and live life on life's terms. I am striving for perfection at all times and I get let down when things don't go my way. So, therefore, I remember this is my will and not God's will for me. It sometimes hits me later on, but then I make amends to what I have done and said and it is not easy but easier if you just say the phrase Thy will be done. Hopefully, this will help you in dealing with daily bumps and grinds in the road. I know it has helped me, and don't worry telling the truth pisses some people off, but you will feel free and better in the long run. Have a good day. I beg of you to Check out Churchunlimited.com and watch it, Even if you don't like a church you will get a good message

Watch out For CBD if you are Sober

I wanted to touch on information about CBD products that some may have a concern. I know I did and did something about it. I tested and tried Vaping CBD and there was supposedly no THC in the CBD I had bought in Texas in my hometown of Midland, Texas as THC is illegal. Granted the Hemp plant and Marijuana plant are one in the same, certain extraction takes place and I was told and read that THC would not be in the product I had consumed. I never felt high when taking the products sold in Midland, however, is concerned when I quit Vaping this crap a few weeks ago, I decided to take a drug test just to make sure I was clean. The result is I tested positive for THC. Never smoked Pot in over ten years and I just Vaped the products that were sold legally at this store for anxiety and the CBD benefits. The store clerks said I could smoke all the CBD they had and not ever test positive for THC, but they evidently smoke weed and or have not had any complaints from people like myself about there being THC in my urine after I had used the products. I was very upset with myself for being stupid t trusting what I read and heard from the store clerks, and it just shows how crazy the legalities are being swept under a mat and local officials are doing nothing about this. I have not confronted anyone on my findings and I know how to flush THC out of my system, but it pisses me off that I had ingested THC when I was told and I read on the product that no THC would be involved.

Be careful out there and watch what you drink and or vape, it could cause you problems you did not think existed. Have a good day. Chris

All Things Tried and True with Alcoholism

The title just sounded good this morning. I have tried to find interesting things to do while staying sober and yet my mind wonders into other areas. That was a long sentence. However, I get bored, when I drank I was too busy wondering and enjoying what I was doing. Coming up on 9 years next month of no alcohol, and yet the boredom is still here. I grew up with alcohol and now it is taken away, what a guy to do? Well, I try new things like the Vape thing and end up almost hurting myself with this trial. I take chances to see what the results will be like in real time. I am curious about those things I did drunk and now am sober, what are they really like? I take chances with my jobs because I get bored of them and get tired of traveling with work. All my life I have worked alone and traveled the West Texas area and it is not a pretty sight to travel in. I have aspirations of moving to Colorado for the weather and the weed. However I find out the drug test up there just like in Texas, so weed is out of the question. What can I do? It's like what can Chris do to get fucked up and enjoy his life, I believe that is my question. I know it sounds bad but is good for nine years has had too many good benefits and I sometimes cannot handle the good. I want stimulation and energy from something and I can't place what that may be. I find the town I live in the worst place in the world to be, but at least there is not any type of war going on except in my head.

Sobriety is important to me and the only reason why is I hate doing stupid things that could eventually put me in jail. The stupid things I do right now just hurt me personally no one else, Alcohol hurts everyone involved with me.I am self-destructive and I have been most of my life.I am not sad nor am I happy, I am just here. I need a form of action that will make me laugh and enjoy this God-given life and AA does not do this for me either, it just reminds me of what not to do. Please comment , Have a good Day Chris

The End of my CBD Testing

In recent days I have been very interested in this CBD stuff, and now it is time to move on and let the experts and legality over CBD take place. There is plenty of information on CBD and alcohol to fill up the Internet for everyone. It comes down to what is good for yourself and if you want to pursue such home remedies. Ever since the legalization of THC in some states, I believe that other states are jealous and therefore have found a way to make money on this CBD oil and wax, and whatever shape you want to ingest this stuff. How do I feel about it? I have mixed feelings and will continue checking it out. It does not appear to be addictive as I don't have the desire to just think about CBD and smoking it. Now for panic attacks, I think we might have something here with CBD and I just don't know how much of a test dummy I want to be. However, I will discuss this with a Doctor in releasing my Xanax and possibly using CBD? Anyway enjoy the day and God Bless

CBD an excuse to smoke Hemp?

As I go through my trial phase with CBD oil from Hemp plants, I discovered a new product. This is called Dabbing Wax, that is CBD concentrate because I wanted the real CBD and this is the strongest you can get. I bought the needed supplies and wax on Saturday and was in a hurry to see how this made me feel. You put the wax, little slivers into a heating, pipe and smoke it, only one hit and boom. I felt high as a kite a rush like never before since quitting Pot. It was just the initial first hit off the pipe that the rush was there, I thought I was going to fall down, what a rush I thought. Then a calm after effect, but is this really an excuse to get high off CBD? I am not sure how I feel about smoking wax this way to get rid of panic, I think it might be an excuse to get high for a short breathe of the initial rush. I have to be careful because this is all legal but so is alcohol. SO for those who really want to feel what true CBD does to you try the wax. I am laying off of this until I know more about this shit. Don't wantto trade one habit for another. Just Saying!!!

CBD and Panic No More

I am fascinated by what I have experienced and learned about CBD daily, and so much more is waiting to be learned. I am on week two of testing the vaping of 1000mg. Vape with CBD and I can tell that I have no preconceived anticipatory anxiety anymore with the panic attacks. I just go and do what I need to do without second thinking it. Amazing as it sounds, this stuff does not get you high or change you in any way except if you have a few issues with mood disorders or anxiety and pain. If you have these issues, please look into CBD. I have found relief in this and not Xanax. This is the kicker, I have been able to almost quit Xanax without withdrawal from Xanax in this short period of time. That is fucking amazing for anyone. No sweats or nervousness and I feel more like myself. I can only tell you this is my results but from reading online as the below information, this is one of the studies for panic.

CBD And Panic Attacks

Anyone who experiences anxiety knows about the incessant background noise that seeks to undo their very being. If that wasn’t enough, sometimes it goes a step further when a tidal wave of anxiety suddenly hits at once.

Coming out of the blue, this rogue wave takes hold and unfolds into a full-blown panic – unpleasant to say the least. Thankfully, CBD has a helping hand to play in riding this wave out.

Moderated once again through the activation of the 5-HT1A receptor, CBD impairs escape like behavior, which suggests that it packs an anti-panic punch. This was found by a study conducted on rats subjected to electrical stimulation whilst housed in a circular arena. Panic was defined as the threshold which prompted the rats to run around the arena in an attempt to escape.When injected with CBD, the rats showed reduced defensive responses (associated with anxiety and panic) when electrical stimulation was administered.

A similar study also showed inhibition of anxiety and panic in mice, whose fear was induced by the presence of a wild snake! 

These animal studies are encouraging, and can likely be supported by the anecdotal evidence of human CBD users who experience panic attacks.

Taking This Into Consideration

These studies may have a certain degree of internal validity, but when using CBD oil for yourself, doses and effects may vary. In addition, many studies showing a potentially efficacious effect of CBD are on animals, and may vary for humans. 

Due to your highly personalised genetic make – up and biochemical individuality, an effective dose for you may be different from others. In addition, the tone of your endocannabinoid system may vary, which could affect your response to CBD (and cannabinoids in general).

A good starting point is to try low doses of CBD and work your way up. Anywhere from 10mg allows you space to experiment. Doses used in studies (400 & 600mg) are considered fairly high, so before you dive into the unknown or potentially waste your CBD oil (isolated CBD may have a bell shaped curve effect compared to full spectrum extract), dip your toe in.

 According to the National Institute of Mental Health, about 18 percent of Americans experienced the symptoms of an anxiety disorder at some point over the past 12 months, making it the most common form of mental illness in the United States. Even for the rest of us, our chaotic world can still often leave us feeling overwhelmed.Regular users of psychoactive cannabis, also commonly known as marijuana, frequently report using the substance to relax after a hard day. For many people, hemp-based CBD oil can offer similar benefits, but with few side effects and without making them feel “high”.

Just as with our recent article on using CBD for pain relief, we’ve examined both the scientific evidence and anecdotal reports from regular CBD consumers online. Though there is still a lot of research to be done into CBD and anxiety, the preliminary results looks extremely promising.

Proven Benefits of CBD Sobriety or Not

Ok, so what the hell is CBD, well it is Cannabidiol from Marijuana plants and Hemp. Why do we care, well I do that is why I am writing this CBD article. THC is the drug in Pot that gets one high, with so many compounds and medical studies on this plant . Theyo have discovered CBD to be quite the benefit for people with anxieties to pain, causing no ill effects or getting high off the drug or Vitamin is what it is classified. "CBD is the major nonpsychoactive component of Cannabis sativa. According to a 2013 study published in the British Journal of Clinical Pharmacology, CBD benefits including acting in some experimental models as an anti-inflammatory, anticonvulsant, antioxidant, antiemetic, anxiolytic and antipsychotic agent, and is therefore a potential medicine for the treatment of neuroinflammation, epilepsy, oxidative injury, vomiting and nausea, anxiety and schizophrenia."
Good or bad, the medical community may have found a cure for panic or anxiety without pills that can cause addictions.

I vape the CBD extract and feel not high but not as anxious as I use to be, is it in my head or does this stuff really work. I have had the panic disorder for over 30 years and anything besides pills I am into and want to know more.

Among common CBD benefits, natural pain relief tops the list for many. Evidence suggests that cannabinoids may prove useful in pain modulation by inhibiting neuronal transmission in pain pathways. A 2012 study published in the Journal of Experimental Medicine found that CBD significantly suppressed chronic inflammatory and neuropathic pain in rodents without causing analgesic tolerance. Researchers suggest that CBD and other nonpsychoactive components of marijuana may represent a novel class of therapeutic agents for the treatment of chronic pain

Studies using animal models of anxiety and involving healthy volunteers clearly suggest an anxiolytic-like effect of CBD. Cannabidiol has shown to reduce anxiety in patients with social anxiety disorder and researchers suggest that it may also be effective for panic disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, social anxiety disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder.

God Bless, Chris

Xanax, Panic, and the Sober Human

Funny thing about life is we live in a addicted society, whether it be illegal drugs, prescription drugs, or alcohol. There is always a potential for abuse.I am one of these people that has had panic attacks for over 30 years and used alcohol and pills and other drugs to make me feel normal. The madness has not stopped, the illegal drug use and alcohol have stopped, but I continue with Xanax. I am coming out of the closet today for a reason. I have noticed that I am having more frequent panic episodes and Im on a high dosage of Xanax and have been for years. So if you read this blog I am a recovered alcoholic , but when I sober up nine years ago I was house bound. I could not go outside the house,fear of the marketplace or agoraphobia is what I had . I worked with dr.s on a solution beside Xanax and nothing worked as usual. I am monitored by a psychiatrist and I do not abuse my medication, yet the possibility is there to abuse these. I am fortunate that I am working still and able to get out of the house and do what normal people do.

There is no cure for panic attacks, I have searched for many years and if you don't know what they are , I am not going to explain this to you. Google this because I am sick and tired of having to explain to some people what it is like.To live in constant fear of if I am going to have a attack is stressful, finding help online at a treatment center is rare and most that I have found are trials with other drugs.The few clinics in the USA that help people with anxiety and panic are for the very rich as they don't take insurance and are very costly. However I have not really found one that is long term, just like alcoholism, you can go to treatment but a very low percentage of people ever sober up past treatment. So what do I do? Keep living my life one day at a time and still searching for an answer to my addiction and how to treat panic once I get off the medication. There is no answers to this.

Therefor, if you suffer like I do with these panic attacks and anxiety constantly, please leave me information if useful. a 12 step program for this medication is great but then I need to be able to function in the real world.Just like an alcoholic you might say, but it is not.I have sober up many times with the panic coming right back into my life and making me more miserable than being a alcoholic. This disorder of panic is really a bad deal, and needs attention. There are millions of people in my situation and from what I have read not a one has truly gotten totally off medication for panic.
God bless and please send me information. Thank You Chris

Recovering Addict and Being Normal

What is normal? That is the million dollar question. Is anyone really normal? There are so many different types of people and they have so many beliefs. I would guess normality would be a sane person that abides by most of our laws and has a job, maybe a wife and a kid, but that statement is not true either. So I do know that to walk around drunk or high during the day or night, probably is not normal but in movies, they depict this as being normal.

I believe if you are doing right by Gods way that you must be somewhat normal. Don't hurt others on purpose and abide by the ten commandments the best as you can seem like you are trying to be a good citizen and good human. If you drink that does not make you a bad person if you drink because of problems then that is normal but not a good excuse. Complicated as it may seem, I think the most of us that respect others and treat them as we would like to be treated is the best idea of being a good human and reflects a normal attitude. We all have our sins that we commit to our bodies, whether it is eating too much or drinking too much, but we don't really hurt anyone but ourselves and it affects others who live around us.

Being a recovering alcoholic is normal and it is part of living for a good majority of us. There are some people that will never know what it is to have a year of sobriety, and that is a shame. However if one seeks to get away from the stuff and really believes in a higher power, I believe they can lead a normal way of life like the rest of our normal people in this world. Even after nine years of sobriety, I think it is normal for a person to have a glass of wine and smoke a joint and enjoy it. My problem is I never could accomplish this and would go overboard with the drink or find other drugs. Life is a trip and hopefully,
you read this and get something out of it. If not I enjoy entertaining myself with these words I write. Have a good day and God Bless You. Chris

Prayers for Recovering Addicts Do Good

I pray every day at sunrise and sunset. I pray in the work day and sometimes I forget to pray during the day. The world is full of love and hate. I think the media is to blame and the Internet. No matter who is to blame, prayers can calm a man down when anxious or depressed. God is with me all the time and checking up on you the rest of the time. He never leaves any one of us. He is always there. Sounds like a miracle, well God is the miracle that no one can really explain in a manner where realism is concerned. You either accept the fact that there is a God and enjoy his power that he holds as his spirit runs through your body, planning out the day for you one moment at a time. I must live in the moment because I have no idea where I will be in an hour from now. God is powerful and all I need to do is look at my dog or a tree and realize the imperfections are really perfections of life as God wants them to be. I rely on God to show me the strength and keep my head cool in hot situations and to bless the world. What does this have to do with addiction, very simple, pray for God to remove your illness and do the right thing and stop and get help from one of God's people that care for us?


I rely on God more than anything to stay sober. It has been almost 9 years now and my way seems to work. AA is also a good place to hang out, but I don't rely on AA to keep me sober. I have heard the stories and I still hear them and I know I do not want the hurt from these stories. I like being free from drugs and alcohol, there are no problems with people when I do stay sober. Granted life throws at us certain people we don't want to be around and he gives us the strength to deal with these others.

Whether religious or not, prayers or mantras can become a valuable source of positive affirmation in your life when battling drug addiction. One of the most common prayers repeated in recovery is known as the Serenity Prayer. It was created by Reinhold Niebuhr and reflects the attitude that not everything in life may be controlled. It acknowledges the struggle we all face in seeking out a path toward serenity and recovery in a world that often feels chaotic and beyond our control.

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

A mantra, or prayer like the one above, may be repeated daily to help reinforce positive thinking when cravings are creating distractions on your path toward recovery. The Recovery Prayer by Abby Willowroot, is designed to reaffirm your awareness of the strengths it takes to recover from addiction:

Busy Recovering Alcoholic

Well, it has been some time since I have written, and I think I am going to get honest on this site because I have not been. I have been sober of illegal drugs and alcohol for almost 9 years. I do have a mental condition known as ADD to Panic Attacks. I take medicine for these issues and have been for most of my life. I don't know if I am right for doing what I do, but I cannot function without the medication in a way that will make me productive and happy. I have tried several times getting off the meds but I always came back to them because I could not work or do anything. I was housebound. Most in alcoholism recovery would say I am covering up something that could be worked out in the 12 steps, I cannot. Yes, I have tried and yet I feel guilty almost every day for taking this prescribed medication for my mental disorder and have not found any help in the small city I live in. There are cities in Dallas and Houston that have a way of recovery but I do not have the luxury to go to these clinics. I have to work and keep money coming in. So this is my self-inflicted level but is it. If I had cancer I would take treatment, well I have a mental disorder that can only be controlled by medication or long-term therapy in which I don't have the resources in my little city.
I guess this is a confession because I am not perfect but I have stayed off the drugs and alcohol that made my life miserable and no I did not trade it for other drugs. I have had the mental disorder before the alcohol and other things I use to ingest. This blog is for me and not for anyone else, and someday I will look back and see what I have written and maybe where I went wrong. Maybe this will be one of them. I'm sober it is Sat night and I work Sunday as usual. People will tell me different things about what I do from AA, however, it is the individual, and God that make the end choices. Please comment on this if you like. I'm not perfect nor profess to know about addiction like a professional, but these so-called pros do they really know what it is like to live agoraphobic and do they know how to live sober after 30 years of drinking. So many choices, you have to make your own. God Bless Chris