The First Six Steps to Sobriety

Well its Thursday 07/11/2013 and yesterday I did my 5th and sixth step with my sponsor. It was an emotional meeting of sorts. I did not expect to get this way after I submitted my 5th step to my sponsor. I realize now some of the things that I hold deep down inside me that I take for granted. Love for one is what I have to offer to a lot of people, and peace became upon me as I read to him my resentments. I really did not know I resented so many things and that most were a cause from myself. I will make amends to those that I have hurt this week as well. The faster you work theough these steps and heal your inner soul, the better all this AA stuff is. My sobriety is stronger than ever, my conscios contact with the spiritual world is even more evident since I took these steps.

My C5 Corvette by Christopher Hyer

It seems when you read through the steps , a simple feet indeed once you get past step one. However by working the steps outlined by the Big Book, a spiritual beginning takes place again.Another round of peace came over me, and really it sounds strange, but I felt good about how my life was heading. If this is all it takes to stay sober and feel good about life, Is it not worth the risk of doing? I think it is, and being a sceptic for so long about AA and what happens in this group, it seems to be doing me a lot of good for my attitude and my living.

I have damned AA enough and I guess, I have just given in . I am glad I have calmed down about it. There is so much in the world about the good and bad about AA and their principles, that anyone would be a suspicious of why it works. I believe it is the spiritual aspect instead of the being at a meeting that tends to take over ones life, and this is good. My actions and thoughts are not perverse or destructive. I do however during the day have problems in which if I let go and say a pryer, seem to take over and the outcome is tolerable. I think this is called living life on life's terms. Thy will be done, not mine. To let go , is not in most of our vocabulary, we all want control. We basically have no control except for over people places and things. God has the control over everything, and until you find this out, like I am still learning, you will be spiritually sick.

A new way of life has become of me lately and by doing the fifth step and practicing the words I hear at AA meetings must be what this deal is all about. It will change your thought patterns into a good way of life for you. You have to work at this though and not just sit on your ass and hope things will come about. I have tried this even with prayer and the prayer will show you that this is not a way of living. Many exclaim " What an order , I can't go through with this", Yes you can if you are wiling to take certain steps, and believe in a higher power, and I chose the Lord. You may chose any relationship you like as your higher power and find out your stuck with God as being this higher power. It is good when this happens to a human being, they are better people in the world. God knows when we need help and he is there to provide this. Open your hearts and let your prayers be heard and pass it on to someone that may not want to hear about your spirituality because it will make them think.

My life is not perfect, yet perfection is not what I seek. I just want to tolerate it and enjoy a laugh or two in the mean time. I have not been open to much joy until I finished this step of my life. Like a baby taking his first steps, and learning how to walk is what this is all about, God will show you the way if you try. Have a great day....Chris07/11/2013

Monday and Being Humble

To be humble, what does this exactly mean? I think I know a little bit about this. Correct me if I am wrong. I am looking for another job , and there are plenty of fast food places to work at. They pay good money , because no one wants to work there. When I say good money , I mean about 14 to 16 dollars and hour. I am having trouble getting a job in IT or any computer related field. SO I was thinking , why not do fast food? I never thought this would be my destiny nor do I want this. The money is there though. I am not qualified for most jobs in my area in oil and gas. I never have worked in a restaurant atmosphere, and don't desire this. I would think this a humbling experience, and I do not want to do this. I may have to though, if nothing alse comes my way.

Why, oh lord does it have to be this way? I have so much experience in other areas, and I would rather move away from here than work in fast food. Maybe that is a idea? I am confused as to what to do, so I pray about this and , the answer has not come. I was just turned down for a job with an Airlines company and this is ridiculous. The times in my town I live in are booming and yet I am older now and sometimes I feel like I am not as wise as I thought I was. I use to be able to get almost any job I wanted. I have bounced around so many times and burned many bridges with other companies because of my drinking in the past.

This is where I am at this day is how to be humble and accept the things I cannot change and change the things I can. The wisdom to know the difference is hard to decipher. I have been putting in applications this morning for other jobs, and Yes they may come through. The time it takes to get hired on these days is ridiculous as well. The background checks ( which I pass with no problem), are everywhere I go looking for a job. It's like are you an American citizen and stupid shit like that. I was born American and I am white and never have been a from another country. This is what pisses me off is that you have to prove your an American citizen when you have paid taxes for years and your parents are American born and yet I get , and you also get the run around about if your able to work in this country.. Shit there are people from Mexico that barely speak English and they have no problems getting work , work that should go to people that grew up in this country. I do not want to sound like a racist but , in reality we let all these people from other countries come to the USA and they take our jobs away from the citizens that grew up in this country. Being humble and being realistic is two separate things.

Stop the bitching , I know, and I will find something, Humbling experience , I am living . We , who live in America are all humble in one fashion or another. I am sure some of you relate to what I am saying here. The world is not going to change for me, or you. We have already been subjected to what our government has done to us. I will stop at this , because I could go on and on about the unfairness to Americans on here. Somehow I will deal with the idea that some person from another country is taking jobs away from us. My little piss problem is over now...Chris

One Day At a Time ; Sobriety

Taking my life one day at a time. I don't know how good I practice this. I do try to think ahead, because I have to line up my life a few days ahead of time. Taking "One Day at a time", is a difficult step for any of us. I have so much to look forward to in the future, even if right now, I don't see it. I am sober again today and this will be everyday as far as I know, and for today I will be sober. The craving for alcoholic beverages really does not thoroughly go away when I think about this. The ads on Television and going to convenience stores surely throw this shit at me. So , I salivate for about 5 seconds and then I am ok, so the obsession to buy this particular drink has been lifted. Enjoy Stevie Ray Vaughn below for a little "Superstitions"

There are still problems in my daily living and AA helps in taking care of this. I also put in my two cents of , "No I am not going to drink because of so and so. There are problems , but drinking just makes them go away for a short period of time. I know this from experience and I am sure you do too. So taking this one day at a time, or even one hour at a time is needed, for me to live a sober life .
I say the serenity prayer constantly, and obsessively at times. I am the typical recovering alcoholic that thinks I can take one drink and stop , but knowing that I will take another sometime soon is what keeps me away fo 4 plus years of sobriety. I am working the steps daily , and my 4th step is done,however I need to get my sponsor involved into this.

One thing I have slacked up on is how many meetings I go to, and I need to get back in this habit of going to more, it would seem, or appear to me. I damned these AA meetings enough. They really help when I need them and other times I wonder why the hell I go. If it keeps me sober then there is no contemplating them.So live "One Day at a time" and God Bless.     

Saturday 07/06/2013 ---1 Timothy of the Bible

"May God our Father and Christ Jesus our Lord give you grace,mercy,and peace" Chapter 1 in Timothy in the bible. 

Wow, what a strong phrase we have been given. Paul in the bible was given control by the command of Jesus, "It is written to Timothy,my true child in the faith".....What a concept, to have the Lord Jesus Christ give one such an honor. To be loved by Jesus , so much that God had appoited Paul to spread the word of God and to trust and have faith in him to do his deed.

Christopherhyer 2013

Is that what we all seek in reality , is a commitment from others to understand that through faith and love that God has made us into human beings to carry on this message to other human beings. A twelve step for sure, I would imagine."Live a life of Faith " is what Paul says in Timothy and do not stray away into any false promises.

This would hold true for alcoholics," please oh lord help us keep the faith and do not let us go a stray with our own ides" and "Thy will be done" not mine. This would tend to be the message I received this morning.

I am selfish with God and my own delusions of what I should be doing. I am guilty of not loving God every moment I can get a chance. Maybe for today we pray a little more and have faith that a power greater than ourselves brings us out of misery and into happiness. We all deserve this happiness and joyfulness.  

God Grant Me!! Sobriety

In the mornings , I say prayers for the day to begin with and ask for guidance and courage to face the world. It has become habbit, and without prayer in the morning , I would not be complete for the day. It is so much of a habit that I even recite the Serenty prayer a few times to get me going. Do you do this?

God grant me the serenity to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Sucha strong prayer for living . The short prayer is good for everything in this world. You cannot change the things you can't. It is so true. Love for other animals and human beings seem to take place with the serenity prayer. I don't think about drinking in the morning, that obsession has been removed. I have days where I am not so up . This is true with all of us, though I have not had a bad day since being sober. No hangovers, no headaches, or alcohol on my breath to get off. There is so much to be thankful for this morning.

July 4th was a bit hard to take, yet I woke up this Friday with a different attitude, and feel good about myself. I can't change those things I cannot control. Maybe this is hard to swallow on occasion, so I just keep praying all day long. Have a beautiful day and God Bless...Chris

July 4th, God's Grace I am Sober

Ingram, Texas by Christopherhyer 2013

Well it's that time of year where in Midland, fireworks happen even though there is a possibility of a good fire happening tonight somewhere. It never cease to amaze me , that they fire these off in and around the town. They are beautiful , if you like rockets blwing up in the sky. I could care less, if I was in New York City or somewhere where there is a little excitement , then my thoughts are there. To be sober in Midland, Texas is a feet in itself. There is basically nothing to do , but work. There are parks with no water in them. There are trees around the homes in the main city , however outside the city limits there is brush and dirt. The Oil rigs are everywhere, and that gets old too. The smell of gas is ever present in my city and I am sure it is not good for people, but its money.

So staying sober on July 4th in my town is a test of ones sobriety.Every day in this city is a test of one's sobriety. The only places to go are to eat , bars, and AA. You could go to a Hospital I guess and see how fancy that is,,lol...Shit this place really needs activities for people, beside drinking at a celebration on the night of the 4th.I try to compare this place to Corpus where I use to live 4 years ago, and there is no comparason. As an alcoholic I tend to want to move from place to place, to run from myself. When sober you realize you can't do this. You cannot run from yourself.

To get out of this Hell hole in West Texas one needs to drive about 3 hrs north or south to a lake. Maybe that is what I will do, we put a lot of miles on our vehicles out here because of this factor. Oh well, hopefully you live somewhere where it is pretty and not a 100 degrees. God Bless and Happy 4th....

Chris Raymer and AA

When I met Chris R. , he was a speaker at La Hacienda treatment facility in Hunt, Texas. I was foggy when he spoke and in my Big Book , I have diagrams trying to follow him. He is controversial to some members of AA , although are we not all. He is straight to the point on the program of AA. This was taken from You Tube and if you like it search this one eyed bandit that discusses the "Issue Man", that for some reason is hard to find on the Internet , if not impossible. He talks of the "Issue man " as our spiritual malady and for some reason, not much is found on the Internet on this speech. I will try once more to find his discussion of this. Enjoy listening to this program of Chris R. He is a sircuit speaker and pretty upfront about his passion for recovery and people.