Lost Job Due to Panic Attacks and Flying

Well, I have been obsessive for the last week for a flight for my new job. I was to fly out Monday early morning, However, I could not stand the anxiety the thought of flying was driving me crazy. I could not relax, and I emailed my boss tonight and told him the truth that I have Panic Disorder. His response was "Cancelled" referring to the flight. I have a feeling that also means you have no job with us. This really bothers me and is testing my sobriety right now. I need help dealing with Panic Disorder, I take medication but I knew if I got ont the plane and felt the panic I might take more than prescreibed. So I chicken out and said I just can't take this anymore. I'm upset of course, but this is not the first job I have lost to not flying. However it is time for an end to these attacks as they are taking control of my life. I feel so lonely, no one understands what I am going through. Have a good night. Chris

Day 3 New Job Sober

Well it has been a good three days , I wake up early and listen to meditation music for about an hour and then I am ready to ride with one of my co workers. They seem to be pleasant and helpful. I am not as nervous as I was in the beginning. I am very lucky to be with a top rated company and all the benefits I will acquire from within this company. I fly out Monday early morning about 6 am and this is ok. I am ready to face fear and if I have anxiety then that is ok. I cannot give this up becasue of being nervous. I have to remember that god will take these fears away from me if I ask. I got on my knees and prayed last night for him to take care of my fears and I woke up this morning feeling a lot more in control, though I know it is God working in me where I don't know how. God the spirit is all I need and a couple of AA meetings for medicine to get me through a great time in Springfield. The thought of getting out of town sounds good as I have not even left Midland in a few years. The unknown is an exploration and a wonderful part of my life that baffles my mind. Have a good Day. Chris Hyer

Starting A New Job Today Sober

Possibly I am starting a new job not hung over and sober today and this is new to me for the last few years. I use to get hired then did not make it in on the first day. I would usually put this new job off for as long as I could and I bet I made a shitty first impression.
This time I had ample time to get ready and I bought clothes and stuff to be prepared for this position. I will be flying and I needed things to keep my mind busy while I don't really like to fly. I have no fears..lol..I keep telling myself. However I do have a little apprehension with riding with a stranger today through friday and getting myself located with this job. Then I fly off for training next Monday and I wil not put that off either. I am going head first into all this job. I am a bit nervous to be around a lot of drinking out of town but I have delt with this before and I can do this again. I am on a new road today to hopefully a better life..Chris HYer

New things That Happen in a Sober life

Miracles keep happening in my life. I got a new job and I start this week, then travel quite a bit to train for this new position. New things to worry about , but I am trying not to worry and just let one thing happen at a time. Taking it slow and easy but being ready for the next event in my life. I am not high and mighty about flying but I was given the option to drive and the places I need to travel to are very long drives, in possibly snow type weather, so I will fly to these meetings. Fear of flying , is under the heading of many fears we use to have and we drank about them. This is nothing I will drink about , I might have anxiety and if I do I will keep as calm as I can and enjoy this flight . I have it in my head not to worry about the next day, as I am prepared for the events I will need to do in order to keep this job and be a good employee. Worry and fear have bothered me most of my life, however I have given this to God and let him control my emotions and take control of my life as it says in the steps. Any will on self is not good, so let God shine in to take care of the things I cannot control. I need this job and it is a good steady position and I will be proud of myself for completing the missions I will need in order to stay with this job. Not by my will but with God holding my hand and guiding me into the unknown.Hope you have a nice day..Chris Hyer

God gives you Special Treats when Sober

It is Wed 2/22/17 and all sorts of miracles have happen in my life. I was hired by a Nationwide corporation to work for them in my area of Texas. They say I start on March 1st but the HR department seems slow , so I doubt I start this soon. I have been unemployed for almost 6 months now, doing odd jobs to keep money in my pocket. It is by the grace of God that I got this position , because at my age it is hard to find a company that wil train you from the bottom up. I have some anxiety along with this job as I have to fly quite often to Springfield , Mo. for training, but I have been getting ready with buying slacks to seeing Dr.s so I am prepared for my plane trip on the 5th of March.
Since I have been sober all sorts of miracles have come true , just not on my time, but on God's time. I have had interviews and Skype interviews and nothing was panning out. There are a lot more people in Midland, Texas now since the oil field is picking up pace . However I do not work in the oil and gas industry and never will. It is dangerous work and have lost many friends and many friends have lost limbs to working out in the oil patch.

Sobriety and my belief in a higher power in which I call God has all the answers but are we willing to listen? I try to listen to God when he speaks buy he speaks indirectly to me , so I have to slow down and let the words come through to my brain or psychic before I understand them. Sometimes when I do something good for someone else then the answer lies right there for me to grab a hold of.
In AA we talk about God and the spirit of God in our lives, I think that is why we have such long term dobriety in my little group in Midland, texas. We all know one another and knwo each others family. We are relative to the other members and yet new members like this and so we have grown in the small group we use to have. Well have a nice Day it is to be 86 today in town..Chris Hyer

Sober Weekend and Yourself

Today I would like to share one of my favorite thoughts on self-improvement.

 

This short thought comes from Nathaniel Branden's book The Six Pillars of
Self-Esteem and it simply goes like this: 

 

"No one is coming".

 

Short. But it has been a powerful and sobering reminder for me.

 

Because yes, you can look for the next big thing that will fix you. 

 

Read more blog articles. Read more personal development books. Look for people
to help you. 

 

And yes, some articles, books, products or people will give you support and
insights that resonate deeply with you and that you can put into practice. 

 

But in the end, if you are an adult then no one is coming. No one is coming to save
you. You have to take responsibility for your own life and what happens in it.
Other things and people can certainly aid you quite a bit. But you are responsible.

 

You can go around blaming society or some people for your problems in your
social life. Or finances. Or health. You can always find scapegoats to judge to feel
better about yourself. You can look for people that will "fix you". You can do this
for the rest of your life if you like. It won't change much. Whatever has to be done,
it's you who have to take responsibility and do it.

 

Yeah, things might always not go your way. You'll fall and stumble and you will

probably have bad luck from time to time.

 

But you still have to focus on yourself and on doing what you can do with what you
have in whatever situation that may arise in your world.

In sobriety we are the one who is responsible for completing Step 1 completely or we fail over and over again.

To move onto the other 11 Steps , first you have to accomplish the first step on your own.

You can do this, however only by yourself. No one can keep you from drinking.

 

Have a wonderful weekend!

Being Positive in a Negative Thought in Sobriety or Life Itself

Say stop in situations where you know you cannot think straight.

Sometimes when I am hungry or when I am lying in bed and are about to go to
sleep negative thoughts start buzzing around in my mind.

In the past they could do quite a bit of damage. Nowadays I have become good at
catching them quickly and to say to myself:

No, no, we are not going to think about this now.

I know that when I am hungry or sleepy then my mind sometimes tend to be
vulnerable to not thinking clearly and to negativity.

So I follow up my “no, no…” phrase and I say to myself that I will think this
situation or issue through when I know that my mind will work much better.

For example, after I have eaten something or in the morning after I have gotten
my hours of sleep.

I know from experience that when I revisit a situation with some level-headed
thinking then in 80% of the cases the issue is very small to nonexistent.

And if there is a real issue then my mind is prepared to deal with it in a much
better and more constructive way.

Say stop to getting lost in vague fears.

Another trap that I have fallen into many times that have spurred on
overthinking is that I have gotten lost in vague fears about a situation in my life.
And so my mind running wild has created disaster scenarios about what could
happen if I do something.

So I have learned to ask myself: honestly, what is the worst that could happen?

And when I have figured out what the worst that could happen actually is then I
can also spend a little time to think about what I can do if that often pretty
unlikely thing happens.

I have found that the worst that could realistically happen is usually something
that is not as scary as what my mind running wild with vague fear could produce. 

Finding clarity in this way usually only takes a few minutes and bit of energy and
it can save you a lot of time and suffering.