Well its Thursday 07/11/2013 and yesterday I did my 5th and sixth step with my sponsor. It was an emotional meeting of sorts. I did not expect to get this way after I submitted my 5th step to my sponsor. I realize now some of the things that I hold deep down inside me that I take for granted. Love for one is what I have to offer to a lot of people, and peace became upon me as I read to him my resentments. I really did not know I resented so many things and that most were a cause from myself. I will make amends to those that I have hurt this week as well. The faster you work theough these steps and heal your inner soul, the better all this AA stuff is. My sobriety is stronger than ever, my conscios contact with the spiritual world is even more evident since I took these steps.
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My C5 Corvette by Christopher Hyer |
It seems when you read through the steps , a simple feet indeed once you get past step one. However by working the steps outlined by the Big Book, a spiritual beginning takes place again.Another round of peace came over me, and really it sounds strange, but I felt good about how my life was heading. If this is all it takes to stay sober and feel good about life, Is it not worth the risk of doing? I think it is, and being a sceptic for so long about AA and what happens in this group, it seems to be doing me a lot of good for my attitude and my living.
I have damned AA enough and I guess, I have just given in . I am glad I have calmed down about it. There is so much in the world about the good and bad about AA and their principles, that anyone would be a suspicious of why it works. I believe it is the spiritual aspect instead of the being at a meeting that tends to take over ones life, and this is good. My actions and thoughts are not perverse or destructive. I do however during the day have problems in which if I let go and say a pryer, seem to take over and the outcome is tolerable. I think this is called living life on life's terms. Thy will be done, not mine. To let go , is not in most of our vocabulary, we all want control. We basically have no control except for over people places and things. God has the control over everything, and until you find this out, like I am still learning, you will be spiritually sick.
A new way of life has become of me lately and by doing the fifth step and practicing the words I hear at AA meetings must be what this deal is all about. It will change your thought patterns into a good way of life for you. You have to work at this though and not just sit on your ass and hope things will come about. I have tried this even with prayer and the prayer will show you that this is not a way of living. Many exclaim " What an order , I can't go through with this", Yes you can if you are wiling to take certain steps, and believe in a higher power, and I chose the Lord. You may chose any relationship you like as your higher power and find out your stuck with God as being this higher power. It is good when this happens to a human being, they are better people in the world. God knows when we need help and he is there to provide this. Open your hearts and let your prayers be heard and pass it on to someone that may not want to hear about your spirituality because it will make them think.
My life is not perfect, yet perfection is not what I seek. I just want to tolerate it and enjoy a laugh or two in the mean time. I have not been open to much joy until I finished this step of my life. Like a baby taking his first steps, and learning how to walk is what this is all about, God will show you the way if you try. Have a great day....Chris07/11/2013