Time Moves Forward with a Clear Head

Alcohol, and drugs can blur our minds, and make us believe in things that are not true. When I sobered up , reality was hard to handle . I battled reality through my sobriety and still wanted things to go my way for almost 10 years. We all want things to work out just like we intend them, however this is not happening. Believe in God and things or days will go with the flow and nothing will over whelm you that you cannot live with. It is a two way street , you must accept those things that use to baffle us and continue to baffle us, but do not try to control them. Life is a struggle and it is tough at times but if you stay close to the 12 steps of living life day to day then all will be better just not exactly the way you might have expected.
Change is something we alcoholics are pretty good at. If you think about it we changed where we lived in hopes of stop drinking when we were in a new place but continued to drink. Change when one is sober is good but can be strange and scary. This is when you pause take a deep breath of fresh air and let go and let God into life. The answer will come, your body will go into motion at times reluctantly but usually for a positive reason for you at this time of day. Hopefully you understand what I am saying. I have ten years of sobriety and live life one day at a time. I do not consciously do this but it has become habit. I don't think to far in the future , I stay in the moment and try to see what I can give all the day to others. Try this in your life and see how it goes. Take Care. Chris

Drinking Just Makes Problems Worse

I was thinking the other day about some problems I have. One thought was to get a drink and let those problems go. However, the thought of drinking will never go away. It does recede with each day I live. I know alcohol is not an answer to anything except poison to me. It is my sick mind that thinks about drinking when life does not take me in a direction I intended. Of course , these times are seldom , they are part of living. God gives us choices and if we make the choice that gets us into trouble, then obviously we made the wrong choice. We should not beat ourselves over petty things and even the family problems will still be around after we drink. Years ago, ten to be actual is when I quit drinking alcohol, I developed a serene and lonely lifestyle. I have to admit that I miss the fun I had when I drank, but I also made a mess of things in the process. Maybe you can relate to what I am saying about alcohol or drugs. They are powerful chemicals and they can make you feel good about life in the moment. Long term they cause health problems, incarceration, and many other people problems. This is a known fact, and to quit drinking today is a idea I will point out is what you might need to get your life back in order.

Treatment centers should be a place where you should not be based on how much money you have and insurance. The alcohol business should pay for any treatment I have to take for drinking thier liquid. No way that will ever happen. I do not think much about expensive treatment centers. I have been to dumps and the expensive ones. They all have the same message. It is a shame that they want so much money from a drunk who is probably broke, and when he gets out of treatment he will have bills that will trigger him back into drinking. It is a crazy idea that if you need help from a center and they want to take all the money you have in order to dry you up.. They do not help afterwards. I know some of you do not think what I say is true, but it is.

Does Drinking Consume Your Life?

Does Drinking Consume Your Life?

By Chris

Does drinking alcohol consume most of your off time? Then you might be alcoholic, do You drink because you have to have the rush alcohol gives to you. Do you often black out from too much to drink? Well, these are examples of drinking too much but does it mean you cannot control your life because of these habits? These are things in life to consider if it takes up your lifetime. In other words, do you spend time with your wife drunk most of the time and around your family? You are the only one that can stop the insanity. Now you did not want to hear that but this is true. No one can make someone sober. You can encourage a person to get help, but don’t be rude about it. Try informing this drinker that maybe he or she should not drink because of this and that problem in your life.

Treatment centers surround themselves with the 12 step program, but is this outdated? It still works is what some would say and it is the only way. I do not subscribe to this theory as I have seen time and time again an alcoholic attends meetings right and left then went back to drinking so AA will not save you so who the fuck will save your drunk ass. You, and that is a hard concept to take hold of. You are in control and you know this deep down, but unable to admit it to your inner self or to God. Yes, God is the spirit that has made you and brought you into this world. If you don’t believe me on God I will surely debate you. No, you do not have to attend church, but it would not hurt going. I do not go to church but I feel good after I go for some reason. I guess for me I am blessed and maybe you are also that drinking is a blackout of my life substance I do not think of. So why the blog, well it is to document my progress through my ten years of sobriety, coming in May 2019. The trials and miracles that have happened to me. Nothing too far out but I have and still am growing up with sobriety. Social sobriety is the world and how I interact with life sober and conduct myself. Enjoy Life Today 3.30.2019

Everyday Worries

The worries that drag us down and holds us back from living the life we deep down dream about.

So I would like to just quickly share one tip that helps me out with this issue.

It is a simple two question combination that I have asked myself over and over until it became a habit. And until the questions often pop up automatically in my head in worry-inducing situations.

The first question goes like this:

How many of the things I worried would happen in my life did actually happen?

Most things you fear will happen never happen. They are just monsters in your own mind.

And worrying is most often just a waste of time.

This is, of course, easy to say.

But if you remind yourself of how little of what you feared throughout your life that has actually happened you can start to release more and more of that worry from your thoughts.

So I ask myself this question to remind myself of how few of the things that I have worried about over the years that have actually become real.

When fears feel vague in your mind, when you lack clarity then it is very easy to get lost in exaggerated worries and disaster scenarios.

So find clarity in a worry-inducing situation by asking yourself:

Honestly and realistically, what is the worst that could happen?

When I have answered that question then I follow it up with spending a little bit of time on figuring out what I can do about it if that pretty unlikely thing happens.

In my experience, the worst that could realistically happen is usually not as scary as what my mind could make up when it is running wild with vague fears.

Spending a few minutes on finding clarity in this way can save you a whole lot of time, energy and suffering.

I hope this question combo will help you too to calm yourself down and to think more clearly and optimistically again.

Have a wonderful Sunday and week ahead!

Chris

Sober and Making Mistakes

Just because I am sober does not mean I don't make big mistakes. I make mistakes every day and I pray that I stop but I am so bullheaded that I continue on making stupid mistakes. I sin, and therefore in God's book, I am normal to that extent. However I grow each day that I am sober, I step back two steps and forward one step. It would seem I lack self-discipline or dislike it. I am not sure what will come to me the next day, I change jobs like I change underwear because I don't like this or that and this has put me in a bind. I just cannot get comfortable with myself, maybe you experience these issues. I disappoint people still and I disappoint myself. How do I stay sober? I pray a lot and go to AA and I do not want to feel the alcoholic bad ever again, that is why I don't drink. Beside that I am honest to an extent, I cannot lie and get away with it.

Making mistakes that hurt people are not what I intend to do but at times this is what happens. It makes me sad to hurt a person especially a family member, but I get defensive at times and bow up over things I could have done differently. We all make mistakes if human, and some more often then others. I recognize this and that is why I am writing about mistakes and being sober. God knows when I was drinking I made huge mistakes and I paid for them dearly.

I probably need to hit more meetings and work my program, because I am coasting on the sober hiway right now, which does not feel

 right. Have a good day. Chris

Give Thanks To for Sobriety and just for Livng

The living is a given item that God has control over us all. You may not believe in God but you might think about this twice. Every day in every way God is in my life showing me the right thing to do and the wrong . I learn like you must be learning from reading this blog that I place a lot of spiritual influence into my life to keep going through one day to the next. I take chances that could land me in trouble, I lie at times which I hope I am forgiven by God. You do not have to go to church to know God, and it might be best if you do. I am not pushing you to church but just imagine if you pray to God and your dreams come true, they will. It will not happen when you want this to happen, the signs of a spirit are shown to us every day in all different ways. To stay sober you will need a higher power such as God. I don't believe there is any other higher power except for evil or the Devil. Do you believe the devil exists? I do and yes he has crept into my life on occasion but God usually takes care of the evil thoughts and sets me straight so I do the right thing, and believe in the right spirit. Think about it. What if God could fix all your problems? I have an answer, he can if you let him. So if you are drinking,

say a prayer to God to help you stop. Meditate on this in your own way not how someone may tell you. It is best to meet Godhead on then rely on other humans. The drinking will go away but you have to take action with prayer. Have a good Valentine Day and love one another. Chris

The Superbowl Sober

Well in our country the number one show last night was the Superbowl 53 which was quite a game. I remember past Superbowls for the last ten years but beyond that, I was always drunk. Yes, beer was to be had for sure at a Superbowl party, no excuses, however, that is not true. It took me a long time to realize that every occasion something special happens is not a drinking occasion. This was one of those nights, so what did I do? I don't watch football much at all anyway, but I did enjoy being safe at home and watching the colorful game by myself, without alcohol. That is how I live my life. I am sure there were a group of AA people watching the game but I really switch between channels when I watch football. Since being sober I spend a lot of my time alone anyway and this night was no different than any other night for Chris. I am not lonely, I just prefer to enjoy what I want to do and I enjoy being by myself for the most part. When I am in groups I talk and enjoy a group crowd for a little bit then I am ready for my time. There is a new book out on people like myself that just enjoys being alone and having to entertain me is not too hard. I have a recording studio with instruments and I can let my feelings come out in my music. It is very therapeutic and it calms me when stressed, it is my alcoholic memory that use to stifle my artistic creation of music. I listen to tracks I cut back when I was high or drunk and some are good and some are terrible. Being sober they are mostly good tunes that I create and share on a different program online and make money.

So you don't have to drink on these special occasions like a football game or Christmas or when it is Monday, lol. Once you can get a grip on the fact that alcohol does you no good, will you understand what I am talking about? Life has it's up and downs and right now I am neutral in how I feel. I was hit in the rear of my new vehicle last week and usually, that would have pissed me off, but now I am just waiting for the damage to be fixed and that's all I can do. Sure I could sue this fellow for a few things but that is not what this life is about, to get back at someone that made a mistake. God knows I make several mistakes every day. Have a good one,
Chris

Today Is A New Day and There May not Be a Next Day

We have all heard the saying, "live today as it was your last day". This is true in life as we really don't know what will happen tomorrow, or if we will live that long. I was hit in my car by a big pickup and shattered my life for just a few seconds, what happens when you are in shock of what just happened. The one thing about accidents is when they shock you, a thought in the back of my head is ok, am I alright? Am I dead? then all of a sudden you wake up, this takes only a few milliseconds after an accident. Then you realize that you are alive and now what is my next action to be. Reality comes into play and you think of what could have happened. Like when you use to drink too much, at times you might have done this with intentions of not waking up the next morning. Then when you inflict this type of drug or pain on your body you wake up hurting and feeling worse than ever. I am pretty sure we have all tried to make ourselves miserable but not on purpose usually. If I could only drink a case of beer and wake up feeling good and up early in the morning not thinking of how bad my head hurts and that nasty taste in my mouth from beer in the morning.

Life is unusual, we all test our limits or at least I have in most everything I do.I am sober almost 10 years and I have no desire to take one drink. I think that is a miracle from God as it was difficult to quit and also I stopped smoking cigs. So that is two habits that I stopped at a treatment center because I wanted to, and I pray about it daily and still read and go to AA meetings. I don't rely on anything but myself for not drinking. I do believe that AA is very important to go to, however, it can become old and addictive in itself. However, it is good for your soul when your tired and lonely, go to an AA meeting and get something good out of it. Usually, you will.

Living one day at a time is still difficult for me as I look toward the future. I do not think it is bad, to actually predict what I might do the next day if God lets me live for this day. We have to make plans but yes they do get altered, and sometimes a surprise will come about in a good way that we did not expect. So try to stay sober one day at a tie, go to AA when you need it, and pray to God for letting you live in the moment. Chris

One Way to Start You Day Sober

The alarm bell goes off.

You slowly open your eyes.

A new day lies before you.

A day of unexplored potential and opportunities. Not only out there in the world, but inside of yourself too.

So how can you get your day and more importantly yourself off to great and self-esteem boosting start today?

Well, one good way to get off to a good start is to have a note, a reminder on your bedside table that will be one of the first things you see after you have woken up.

A simple suggestion for what to write down on your note to boost your own self-esteem consistently each morning is...

Set a low bar for self-appreciation.

Write down: "Today I will set a low bar for self-appreciation". Read it and try to keep it in mind during the day.

Do not only appreciate yourself today when you do something perfectly or when you do something really important.

Instead, appreciate the little things too.

How you did the dishes today. How you replied to a whole bunch of emails.

How you are kind and helpful to your kids, partner or friends.

Make a decision to be kind to yourself today. To appreciate the good things that you do but you and others may take for granted.

Be your own best friend and keep lifting yourself, your mood and self-esteem upwards step by small step today.

Get some kindness over breakfast.

Instead of watching the news or reading the usual papers and magazines and getting a negative, subtly self-destructive and perhaps depressing start to your day do something that will inspire you and make you feel good about yourself.

Read one or a couple of new posts or newsletters from uplifting and self-esteem boosting blogs or websites.

Read a chapter from a book that makes you feel good about yourself.

Or have a kind, appreciative and warm conversation with the people closest to you around your kitchen table.

Have a wonderful Sunday!

CBD and Addiction

CBD which is from Hemp plants is being used on virtually everything we like. You can use it as a cream, smoke it, take it in liquid form, etc. Is it good for you? I would have to say that I tried it and might still be interested in this product for addiction. I have found I do not crave andy drug or alcohol with CBD. That does not mean anything except that I think there might be some popular ideas for this CBD in recovery for addicts. Who knows how far pharmacology and CBD will proceed. If you read the Internet on the benefits of CBD, you might think it is a miracle drug. Yet, when Prozac came out it was thought to be the intelligent pill to get from Dr.s and this turned out negative. There are not any real recent findings from The Mayo clinic or other recognized studies except a few you will find on Epilepsy cure for children that CBD seems to appear to help. Thousands of stories from people trying Hemp and CBD has made a few of us confused. They are making coffee with Hemp and cola is coming out with CBD soon. The 2014 Farm Bill was signed by Mr. Trump last week and that has made it legal to grow in the USA, and there are no miracle drug claims by the government.

My take is am I breaking my sobriety by using Hemp myself? I would say no because I do not get high from this product. What does it do for me? It is like the calm after a storm type of feeling. Not overly good feeling like Marijuana or alcohol., yet a relaxing break in your life while on CBD. How long does it last? It depends on how you take it. Smoking Hemp will make the CBD instantly come into your bloodstream and you feel a peaceful calm and that is about it. Some call this a body high, whatever the fuck that means. I never felt high, but relaxed and ready to just sit back and take it easy, without being high or any mind-altering way.

Can CBD help with addiction? Possibly those answers are in the internet and of course, people are going to say yes it is good and part will say it adds problems. I take chances but not with my sobriety, therefore
 beware of what you read from me.lol.....Chris

Find Your Inner Demon and Stop Addiction

All of us have a demon type disease that wants pleasure from activities that are or could be harmful to your health. Maybe you have no addictions, if not you would not understand where I am coming from. However, built-in addicted persons are this evil pleasure maker for addicts. We get off on feeding this evil being by drinking too much or any type of drug addiction. This applies to all addictions including gambling, that we want to feel different than we do right this second. Some of us are willing to hand this over to God and AA to get rid of the affection in alcohol. This also means you will probably have another addiction to take the pleasure point in your body to new highs. We, addicts, choose to smoke, drink to much coke, or ice cream and cake, and a good portion of us are overweight in eating to control our nerves. Try to discover those things that you might be doing that are probably not good for you and that you may be obsessed with what might be killing yourself such as snuff and cigarettes for example. We alcoholics can get addicted to most everything pleasurable in our lives. It can make for a big mess in your sober life. Trading addictions have bothered me from day one, and I still work on them. I am not trying to be perfect just sane and a member of the community, sober. Just a Thought. Chris

Addictions, Addictions and Addictions for Sober People

One addiction to another addiction. That is how my life seems to be right now. I have fought off the alcohol addiction then it leads me into the gambling addiction. I have a chocolate addiction, and I have obsessive thought addiction and the list goes on and on. My sister in town for the holidays said Chris, just take one problem at a time. Well, she is right but I have so many problems at a time which one to start with. People that are sober and in the AA program talk of how happy they are right now sober. I have to admit I am happier sober than when I drank all the time. I wonder if this is the happiness recovering alcoholics are talking about. My daily living is a struggle at times, however, and it takes control over my mind and body. I get worn out from the stress I put on myself, therefore, I start another addiction to something. I don't even try but it seems as though I cannot get enough done in one day or do this or that right. I am a perfectionist and it bums me out to make mistakes as I do. I have tried talking to God about my problems and even read a "Prayer for Today", website daily to keep my spirit in shape.

That was a mouthful, but true. I have so many things running in my mind that I get anxiety thinking sometimes. I have to learn to control my thought pattern and refocus on God the spirit that leads my every day. Maybe, God is testing my sobriety. My mom was in the hospital over Christmas and I was worried that we were going to lose her. I was stressed but I was ready to accept what every person has to go through called death. She pulled out of her sickness and is now at home. I am very grateful to God for letting me have more time with my Mother. She is my world, I am the youngest of the kids at 55 and I love her dearly. Life throws me curve balls and I have to bat them out the baseball park, the devil is trying to grab at me I guess but I will not have it. Have
 a good day. Chris

Slot Machines and Drinking, Are they the Same?

I am an avid gambler an addicted gambler, there I have admitted it in front of millions of people. I am not proud of this activity, but it is the truth. I am also an alcoholic with nine years of sobriety. The problem I run into in life in addition to most everything that I find appealing. I am not aware of my problem until I hit a bottom of some sort, and with casinos online and offline, I have hit a bottom. Damn, another problem to add to my list, but do most people have problems of the sort? I am not sure but I know I have addiction problems with most everything that gives me a rush of adrenaline. I came upon some money at Christmas that was not expected and what didi do with it. I gambled 70 percent of it and lost and won, but in the end, I was broke. Feeling stupid and guilty of what I have done I expressed what has happened to a couple of people and they just looked at me like whats new Chris?

SO once addicted to drugs, alcohol, and whatever, I am marked for life by my family. I am very lonely in my life and I try not to be. Should I change where I live, change jobs, I have no friends except for AA and they Fuck up also like I do and laugh. I find no humor in being addicted to things that please me, in fact, I get very depressed and feel isolated. I pray to God for answers and I might not be listening. Do you have other addictions in your life besides alcohol? Let me know so I don't feel like the only one out here living this life. Please comment on this topic or others if you will. This page gets about 50 hits a day so I know people are reading my personal journal that I have decided to post in a blog for myself.

Living sober is one day at a time, however living life is many days at a time for me. I have to think of the future and my past, as the past never really goes away. It is smeared by my brain but too old friends and family,
my past is well alive. They are grateful that I don't drink today but it is all the other things in my world I have to deal with that get so damn confusing at times. Have a good New Year! Please comment. Chris