Saturday, August 20, 2016

Saturday and Staying Sober

Saturday in the years of my drinking were days to re0couperate from Friday night highs and drinking. I would not wake up until noon or later and then go get food as I was hungry in which woke me up. It would be close to three or four in the afternoon before my head kicked in and I was truly awake. I am not sure how your Saturday was but for me it was quite and sleepy most of the day. Of course, I was preparing for Saturday night and what I was going to drink or smoke. If I was out of weed, I started to make phone calls to get some for the rest of the week. It was like a totally different lifestyle than it is now.
Eight years later in my present tense, I wake up about six AM and try to sleep in till 7 AM and then I let my puppy out the backdoor and let her do her stuff and fix breakfast and drink juice. That is my usual Saturday now. After breakfast, I look at my work phone to see if I have calls for the day I need to take care of , and then get ready to work them or if I don't I get ready for AA as I have a meeting at 10 AM I like to go to in Midland, Texas. I sometimes go grocery shopping in the morning but that habit has changed, and sometimes I just go and buy a few things cause I really just but what I can eat for a few days , but I buy a lot of sparling water. I like Swepps Sparkling water it is my beer for the day , and I like the fizz and taste of this drink. I have progressed to Gatorade also , for some odd reason, I like the taste.

So you now see the change of when I was using alcohol and drugs and to the now when I do not use these things. I really did not know the difference until I started writing this down on this blog. Maybe it is good to have a blog and write how your past was and what you are like now. It sure makes a difference in how far one has come to be sober and living with God. Yes, there is that God word again, he and I are best of friends on a daily basis. I have to have a higher power with me at all times. Call me co-dependent..lol However, it seems to work for me to have gone through these changes and end up not hung over and up and early like I am now. What a miracle once I read over what I just wrote. If you want what I have just take a few steps from AA and work them and then you become a better more productive human being, and you might help change someones life . I write this for me to loook back on and it is interesting to note that I have about 900 people that read this blog a month. So people are interested in how I live I guess. I hope it helps someone. Have a good Saturday, and God Bless. Christopher Hyer.

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Belief In a Higher Power For Social Sobriety

God, is a big spiritual relief for me. There are those that do not understand God, and I think that is God's intentions. He wants us to believe in a higher power that is stronger than yourself, therefore the word , God. I have for the last eight years have had a strong belief in God working wonders of miracles in my life. Like my previous post about Panic, God knows that I could have a problem with addiction with the medications but he knows what is up with my life at all times. So be it. I wake up in the early morning about 5 AM and begin to pray for the new day everyday, and this last during work and after work up until the evening. See , in my opinion, God wants to know how you feel about him and yourself on a daily basis. He wants us to rejoice in knowing him on a personal basis. Whether you want to call it a friendship, in which God is my best friend, or spirituality , God works so many miracles in my daily life, that I know no other person or thing could do for me. I am almost 9 years sober now, and it is the miracle of AA and my God spirituality that gets me through the good times and the rough times. This is just me, there are those of you who do not believe in God. I suggest you go outside and look at a leaf and wonder about the veins in which the leaf grows and how intricate the lines are, perfect. I don't think we are a mistake in this world, and yet to believe in something one cannot see is hard to explain until you have had situations that are miracles that only would be happen chance of going on in your life. For me , and my belief , I think every time something goes wrong a right seems to happen . It seems to follow a lesson from God that I either have done something he is not particular lily happy with and then I do something to help someone and I get this feeling that is good and wholesome. We all know when we sin. No one needs to tell us when we do something immoral or sinful. We all sin, but what I think God wants us to do is show to him and tell him we were wrong. It takes a spiritually guided look on life to do this particular action.

In the Big Book of AA there is a part that says either God is or he is not , what is your choice to be? I want to be on a winning team and God to me is a happy spirit and I am here for his entertainment, but he wants us all to succeed, maybe not get rich or have a Corvette, but whatever we can accomplish in our daily lives and give back to those who may not have what we have is the true trick to this God outlook. The feeling of helping a stranger out with groceries or helping a person with the door, is morally right and it shows we generally care about one another. That makes my God smile and it makes me smile when I know I have done something in my life that I make no money but provide just a little bit of help to those in need.

Of course, there are those who cut us off in traffic and we swear at them or shoot the finger, but if you are where I am at in my program you let it go and say:God Bles Them" I was taught that by a friend that has passed away. Everytime, something rude was done to this friend of mine he would say "God Bless Them "out loud. I use to really trip out to this , but it is like cussing but your not. Your asking for God's help in dealing with this person and your also praying that this person has a better day. It takes a strong person to admit a higher power such as God can help you. However, once you take a hold of prayer and really believe in God you will notice changes in your lifestyle, and they are good. This is a good reason to stay sober, to have a better relationship with God and yourself. It is selfish in a way but most who drink are very selfish people, and it stays with us . I really feel a need to write more on God, and I will throughout my life on this blog . As I said this is a journal for myself and you are welcome to read it. I am 53 now and plan to keep writing on this blog until the end of my time. God Bless Chris Hyer

Friday, August 5, 2016

Sobriety and Panic

I don't write very consistently but when I get a thought I usually have to write about it. Panic attacks are common in most people,, or anxiety. The higher the anxiety the more likely you will have a panic attack. I have had these off and on for all my life. Sobriety does not cause panic but an alcoholic drink surely calms panic down and anxiety,.So what do you do? I give it up to God plus I take medication for Panic attacks and prevention. There are a lot of people that would not agree with this action. When I first sobered up eight years ago, I was a full-blown agoraphobic, I would not leave the house or I would have massive panic attacks.This was horrible, I had this before I even started drinking at a very young age and I have seen hypnotherapist, and taken CBT therapy and many different medications over the years. You may be having the same issue as I have and are looking for answers and I really don't have them. You might take a chance and take medication , I would not take it lightly, however.

Panic medication can be addictive and I just might be addicted to my medication. I do know I take it as directed by a psychiatrist and my sponsor knows about this and God is aware of what I do. I do not think that it is a good idea, but there is no cure for anxiety that rages and ruins your life. I have sought after a cure for many years and the same old therapy is out there that does not work for me. I just thought I would throw this Panic idea out at you people and hopefully get some feedback. Thank You Chris Hyer

Sunday, July 31, 2016

Social Sobriety- Who I am and Will Become

This blog is for me as it is a journal through my life as a sober living man in Midland, Texas. I am 53 years old and grew up in Midland , Texas since age 8 . I have moved to several different cities around the country since then by myself, and have lived an adventurous and confusing life. This is not to say I am any different than most people my age as most will have moved at one point in thier lives and most will not drink themselves to complete oblivion like I use to . I sobered up many times since I was 18 years old but it was not until I was 45 did sobriety and treatment actually mean much to me. It took me getting so sick that I could barely walk, and talk. I started my sobriety in Kerrville , Texas at La Hacienda Treatment Center, One of the best programs in the USA. However It was not my first Rodeo , so to speak it has been my last . I have over eight years of continuous sobriety and I am grateful to AA and to God whom I talk to on a daily basis. He is my director for the day and the one I go to for problems and answers each and every morning and during the waking day. I also speak with Gos in the evening when I retire and ask for his blessings for many people including myself to make it through the night to face another day. This is how I live, I work a job and make my money and pay my bills on time. This is not how Chris use to be. I have come a long way to this point in my life and I am not looking to give up any time soon. In fact, I do not have another drunk left in me, I will surely die if I take another drink.

Christopher Hyer July 31 2016
I have a son who is 23 and loves me very much. I have a mother and a father that are getting up in age and soon God will throw more curve balls. I will hopefully have the knowledge to deal with whatever passes my way as he has been with me this last eight years by my side and many miracles have happened in my life. I have lived for a reason that in un- be known to myself. I have lived many different personalities in my life. The best one is the sober Chris, you ar reading right now. God bless you and have a good day. Christopher Hyer

Saturday, July 30, 2016

Sober up Today and Live for the Future

It's never too late to sober up from drugs or alcohol. If you are still breathing and I assume you are then you have the chance of being sober for today. If taken one step or moment at a time, you can be  free of alcohol and drug abuse if you really want to . You have to take this action, however, and one of the ways is to not buy the drug at all. Then the second thing you will have to do is tell your old friends that you have quit, like you might have told them a hundred times, but if honestly, you want the power of sobriety in your life. The friends will not longer be friends, cause they probably still drink or they are not the new crowd you want to be around anymore.

Yes, at times, changing your surroundings and people that you love is a necessity to keep sober. Stop blaming others for what you put in your stomach, cause it is a personal thing . You decided to inject alcohol and or drugs into your system, not anyone else. Like I have heard before when I was a baby I was not born with a beer in my hand. So step back and take the day off from those who want you to join them in an hour or so of alcoholic drinks, that is really all it takes. You might go through a little withdrawal and if it gets bad enough , go to the hospital and get help. That is step 1 of AA is admitting you have a problem and believe a power ( God, a Group of People, Whatever ) a power greater than yourself. I prefer to use God as he was easy to talk to and inside each and every one of us. There are those who do not believe in God and have a hard time with this belief, I suggest you get a AA Big Book from an AA group for free and read the first 48 pages. If by the end of this study you do not see yourself, then you may not have a problem with drinking or drugs.

I can't tell you what to do, but I can make suggestions, that have worked for me. You can go ahead and drink until you are so sick that you need a hopital to get help at. You could lose everything including your job and your self-respect then get help. I have done all of these and I still kept up my drinking. It took me wanting and I mean really wanting to quit something I truly liked.

Quit drinking for yourself is most important, or you will not stay sober. Some of us do not even have to go to AA to stay sober, I did not go for the first two years, but I wanted to be around others that were doing what I was doing and that was not drinking. I wondered what the hell these people did when they did not drink, and so I started going to AA and have made a bunch of new friends , and they are true friends that I can count on. It is a miracle and many miracles do happen when you stop drining and start living. It is not easy , at all, but after a while the obsession to even take the first drink goes away if you follow the program. Good luck and God Bless. Christopher Hyer

Monday, July 25, 2016

Changes in your Sober Thinking and Perception

When I was drinking my thinking was not right. I thought it was on the dot with what I was doing at the time. In reality , no one who is drinking is thinking right. Alcohol seems to distort what we think and , in myself, I thought all was ok and that I was this guy that could take on everything impossible.
Now that I am eight years sober, I realize that my drinking of water and cokes that I am no super power. I am just myself, but I do have images of a perception that good things will continue to happen if I stay sober. I know for over eight years that I wake up on time and make it to work and do the things I am supposed to do in real life. I have dreams of course of doing something else always. However, they are bigger and better things in my life. If only I stay sober one more day it will get better. Pretty simple self-persuasion I believe. Every day is not great but every day is unusual, in many ways.

I have productive days and it is not just work , it could be as simple as going to the post office when I don't really want to or grocery store . I know I need to get things done and they get done. When I was drinking I would think of these things but put them off till the next day or the next week. Just like my bills , I pay them on time now and have been for over eight years. I use to wait till I got a late notice before I made a payment. I had fees and it just made me madder when in my drinking years. I made a lot of little foolish mistakes,. It's funny cause I watch a lot of movies at night and most of them have someone drinking or smoking pot and they end up in bed with someone that they should not be with or missing work , that is the reality to just plain drinking. Drinking alcohol is really childish but a necessity for an alcoholic. Who are you today? Christopher Hyer

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Life is Complicated Drunk , When Sober Life Changes

Hello, and welcome to my personal journal. I was thinking this evening how complicated life is. However, it really does not have to be. I was watching a movie and it was disturbing , so I walked outside and watched my Labrador Retriever enjoy her back yard, and even myself.

When I was drinking I was always in the moment, and yes I remember seeing some pretty things that God gives us all, like the Ocean, beaches and fish where I use to live on N Padre Island, Texas. It was beautiful most of the time. I was high most of the time also. At night I was always high and beginning my drinking for the night. Therefor I did not do much after about 7 or 8 PM at night except for the photographs of surfing I use to take on a daily basis on the island. If there was no surf I would drive down the coast to take pictures of the birds, and Pelicans that were so spiritual to me and my friend Harry. I will discussm,"Harry" in another part of my journal. He was a big influence to me even during my drinking and pot smoking times over eight years ago. He is dead now , but I will never forget what he taught me about the bible and God. He was a gentle man and a really cool person that I could relate to and I deeply miss him, however like he said to me. You and I are partners in Christ, and I agreed and still agree . He is with me through the day and the night.

Back to why I wrote tonight , I was sitting there watching my puppy just run and hop like a bunny around the yard and sat there in my lawn chair and started looking at the trees and how green the leaves were, and my roses that I don't too good of care of, and they were blooming up a storm. God , I thought is speaking to me and showing me the beauty of life, in a new concept, that I am understanding. The relaxing warm air blew in my face and my puppy was running through the sprinkler system and playing with the water,. She was showing off to me how beautiful the backyard of my house really is and spiritually I was really enjoying the peace from all this. I have not been very stressed out lately , but I do get lonely, but that is my own choice.

Anyway it is good to be sober tonight and July 4th was just another day for me and my puppy. We Bbq a few hamburgers so it would feel like a holiday and I watched a lot of movies, which I do when I have nothing else to do. I also read about Anxieties and how to deal with them, as I am very much the Panic Disorder type of person. I am being treated for Panic and I am looking for other ways in which to cope with my panic. If you have this you know how it feels to not have some type of meditation or medication to go through life with ease. That is another story. So that is wbout it for this July 5th. I have to wake up early and start my work day off, and the good thing is I am not stressed . Pray my prayers and go to bed. Life is just a merry go round at times. I am learning how to love life. Christopher Hyer