Enjoy Your Kids Sober

I am very blessed with a fine young man that is my son. He does not live with myself , but he is 23 also. He is so very special even from day one. He was and is a quite young man and handsome , he does not smoke or drink , and never has done drugs or even said a cuss word for all I know. Almost incredible , I know. He is my Angel from God , and I do worry about him as he isolates himself because he has Autism or some form of this , and he is a happy guy at least. He lives with his mom and her husband , which I am glad he does, as I worry about his down time. They seem to keep a good eye out for him. He is one of the major reasons I got sober and it was to do with court and my ex wife. But time passes and he grew up with a dad that has always loved him. He never has let me down, which I cannot say about myself. I let my parents down all the time for over thirty years. I only cared about what Chris could get out of them. I was not responsible and even being a sober man of my age , stll have problems with responsibility issues, with a lot of issues in that fact.

AA has helped me get a grip on life, as I don't push AA on people, this is a very private thing , however I do make it known at times, because I want to. I live each day grateful that I have what I do , such as my son. If I had a son that was like me growing up , I could not afford to get him out of trouble like I was. I never hurt anyone on purpose, but that is what alcoholics do, and don't realize, is we hurt the ones we love the most. This thought never even hit my head until I sobered up. My son , thank God, never saw me in a state of being drunk , because I did not want him to see me this way. He was and still to an extent a little bit in awe about what alcohol and drugs have done to me. He ask questions and I tell him the truth. However he loves me and lately I see more of him because he wants to see me. This has recently been the case. He drives over and sometimes we just don't know what to do with each other. We sit in quite and peace and maybe that is what he likes when he comes over. I don't want to bore him, yet I isolate myself pretty good , and I am still working on this. In a town such as Midland , the number one thing to do is go to nightclubs for the single set. I have not even stepped into a bar in over eight years, as I know this is not for me. I stay home and watch TV or get on the computer and browse for sport cars I can't afford. I always stay busy doing something that is beneficial to my brain or just resting on occasion.It is hard to really know what the real normal people do in their lives. I seem to think I might be acting like one now. They don't sit around and drink theirs elves into oblivion like i use to and light up a joint and watch TV. I did this for so many years that eight years of not doing this has thrown me off. I am working at this however, slowly but surely I am regaining a little bit of sense to my life.
God makes sure that we live in the moment, and this is difficult at times and God loves you and me. The future I try to let God inform me, but this is difficult as I am the one who acts on my feelings. I pray and pray, but I am not struggling with a alcohol problem now, it is just a living problem. I guess this is just life.Have a good Night. Chris Hyer

2017 , A Year that Has Been Different

2017, started off on a whim of a year for me. I met a girl on the first day of this year and we dated and it ended as quickly as it started,. So life goes on, but I have had a hard time finding a job I am qualified for, with so many descriptions of what I do , it makes me wonder , how things will turn out. Being alcoholic and staying sober for eight years has been fairly easy , but my life gets a little more crazy at times. I do have a new job so I am thankful , and I plan to stick with it. I guess I feel I am better than the work that I find at times, but for almost 30 years of continuous drinking and smoking pot and then getting sober , what can I say.I celebrate my AA Birthday this week with my friends at the 12 Step group in Midland, Texas, and that is always good. The story pretty much stays the same but the years events always change just like if one was sober, so nothing really new here.

I guess you could say I am very blessed to have both of my parents alive. My brother and sister and I do have a son that I love very much. I have to think of all the good that has happened in my life, and try to forget most of the past or at least know what not to do , so I don't ever have to start over in AA again. This is the longest I have stayed sober ever. I should pat myself on the back. The daily life problems are there , but it is learning how to deal with them which is the trick to staying sober.I hear about all the addictions out on the news and I am glad that I am not dealing with this right now, and very much thank God for what he has given me a second or third chance to make my life better. Have a good day. Chris

Social Anxiety and staying Sober

I found this article in my email and I found it o be true about anxiety and people's perception and reality about anxiety. I hope you enjoy this article. Chris

The Three Steps to Dealing with Social Anxiety

At this point we established that trying to avoid or get rid of the feeling of social anxiety usually backfires. It leads to more social anxiety in the long run and you end up restricting your life and ridding it of all meaning and fun.

So here are three steps (backed up by decades of studies) that actually work:

STEP 1: ACCEPT YOUR ANXIETY

Social anxiety is not the enemy. It’s a feeling. A primal “warning” signal from your body to keep you from danger. Problem is, it was designed to keep you safe from wild animals and falling rocks, not strangers and pretty girls.

So when you notice anxiety coming up, together with all the negative thoughts, feelings, and sensations, sit with it. Don’t push it away, or change it in any way. Instead, let it be there, and really experience what it’s like to feel the fear.

Observe it like a curious scientist, without putting any judgment on it. You don’t have to like the fear, but you can learn to accept and embrace it as it is.

Notice where in your body you can feel it the most. What happens when you take a deep breath? When you hold eye contact with a stranger, does the fear get stronger? Stand up straight and lift your head up. What happens then?

Don’t try to change what you feel. Simply notice what happens. Instead of pushing the anxiety away, observe what’s going on. This trains your mind that anxiety in social situations is not something that needs to be avoided.

STEP 2: DO WHAT YOU DEEPLY CARE ABOUT

We usually feel the most vulnerable and the most anxious in the areas we value most in life.

I’ve never met a socially anxious person who didn’t care about having friends or connecting with people.

Instead of fighting anxiety, let anxiety be your guide towards what you care about most. There’s a good chance that situations where you get the most nervous, are the ones that matter most to you.

Being aware of this makes it easier to face your fears. One question we often ask our coaching clients is:

What are the things that are so important to you that you’re willing to feel anxious or nervous to experience them?

Think about it like this. When you are on your deathbed, do you want to look back on a life where you haven’t felt any anxiety, you never felt awkward, and you were always comfortable — but you also never really went all in, you missed out on parties, and never talked to the attractive stranger on your way home?

The other option is to look back on a life where you often felt nervous, anxious, and insecure — but it was a life filled with adventures, parties, random encounters with strangers, and deep connections.

So take a minute and really reflect on this:

What is so important to experience that you’re willing to feel a little anxious?

STEP 3: CONFRONT YOUR FEAR

This is the hardest part, but it’s also the most important one.

It might mean walking up to a pretty girl. It might mean talking to people you don’t know at a party. Or it might mean smiling at the cashier, asking your boss for a raise, or speaking up at a meeting.

There’s no easy way around it, and there are definitively no shortcuts. Be willing to feel the fear and do what matters most to you.

However, know that you don’t have to start with the scariest scenario. You can create a fear hierarchy, jotting down what scares you, and then start tackling the least scary item (e.g., saying “Hi” to a stranger) and working your way up to scarier tasks (e.g., asking a girl for her number).

The more often you face your fears, the better you’ll get at it.

Sober and What Becomes when We stay Sober

I have a lot on my plate lately, but it has been good and different. Lost my step father, however , I know he is with God. I am
not sad, just motivated to start my life on a new turn.I have been lookig for another job, as the one I have is not what I like to do. I have prayed about this daily and my prayers are coming true. I have had a few consultants call me on jobs that I like to do. Times in Midland are booming again with the oil field picking up and that brings in more business and retail shops, plus high prices.I will take advantage of the time I have and focus on the reality of being sober and alive. At times , I feel really lonely but then I get a glimpse of how lucky and fortunate I have in my life. I am thankful that I am not in a wheel chair , I am thankful I have some money, and food, plus a house that has musical instruments for me to pass the time, and hopefully get better.I have more than I deserve in material things, and yes most of it has been put o credit cards, so work has to continue.I like work and meeting new people, and I like doing certain types of work. Now I have a choice and that makes life a bit easier. However I am sober,and if not for AA and my program I could not feel this way. When a person gets off the beer or whatever, they have plenty of free time, at first . Then after a few years you realize this free time is just not there for drinking. I look back and made my free time available for smoking pot and drinking beer. I did not get much out of it except for misery in the end.

 This misery has stopped eight years ago, however it does get replaced by something called isolation time. This isolation time is not too good either, a little bit is ok. To rest and pray and relax is all good and healthy, but not all day long...lol...I think my age of 54 is starting to slip it's ugly head in, as I know what I want but at times what I want is not what others want . I do miss having a girl to love, I have met one recently in AA and she was a sweetheart , so I thought, then she shut me down like I did not exist, so beware of other alcoholics that you might like to date. We are still sick in a fashion, just not sick from doing the wrong things. God Bless Chris Hit THE FOLLOW BUTTON FOR MORE

Death In the Family and Sober Living

Well, I have lost my step father yesterday to what I will call old age. He was 81 and a bit over weight and had complications for years. It was not sudden, he had struggled in and out of hospitals for the past year. He was a jolly guy that was a sharp dresser and smart and funny. A real good hearted man that was always nice to my family and very kind.It is hard to find people like this in the world, he was always a giving nature person. He will be missed and for some reason I am not sad of his death, maybe it has not hit me yet. I am happy that his suffering is over , is how I feel. He liked recovering alcoholics,he thought we were good people, and he was pleased with my struggles in life. Like I said he had no mean bone in his body, just a big Teddy Bear and a heart as big as Texas.

How do we deal with death as a sober person? I guess just like we deal with daily living. We pray and remember the good times, and go about our day. Living one day at a time. We don't try to look back in our past and we treasure every moment we are  alive as this is a short life we are given. If staying sober is your thing , you will get more out of life than you bargain for. Sometimes good and sometimes bad, but most of the bad turns good at some point. When drinking it was always bad except when we were drinking and even then reflecting on being drunk it was bad at many times trying to forget the present. God works with each and every one of us in his own way. I pray that you have found your way as I think I am living my way God had intended. God Bless Chris

Tuesday Sober and Working

Well I made it through my first day on Monday and it was all pretty good. My trainer is a good person and very easy to get along with. He has a great attitude. Today is the real test because I will be doing the job I was hired for and seeing how I like it. I must like it because there is nothing else to do. I think this will work out to be a good job ass I get to travel a little and the only bad part is the waking up at 4:30 AM to get ready to go. But that is a small price to pay in order to have a paying job. I have gotten a little relaxed in the waking up department but today was not bad. It is better to be sober and waking up and doing the things that normal people do. That is what sobriety is all about is waking up to a new day and doing Gods work and trying to do my best for God. I can only do so much but I am heaalthy and I am eager so with these qualities I shoulld be alright. God Bless..Chris

Starting A New Job And Sobriety't

Well it is Monday 4/24/2017 and I am on my new position with a large company where I have travel most of Texas. It should be a good deal as I like to travel and work. However , this is the first day and I don't know exatly how this is all going to work. I have a vehicle being brought in from Lubbock this morning and we are stocking it with product to take out for me to display and then I drive to the next retail facility and do the same thing again. Im out 4 nights of the week so Hotels will get old, but I have my trusty computer and my guitars ready to travel. I plan on going to AA meeting in other towns as well. I will not be lonely that is for sure. I can stay busy. If it was not for being sober I don't think this job would last as I have to get up at 4 AM and I finish at 4 PM so it will be long days. I am looking forward to working as it has been a while and to get a paycheck would be nice also. Well just entering this in my blog , for future reference. Have a good day. Chris