Darkness for the Alcoholic and Drug User

I have been very busy at work and loving my job. I am making good money, probably the best I have ever made. No problems with my boss or anything, able to afford to buy a new car. I have everything, sobriety, a new car , a life. What happened. I was tempted last night to start smoking pot .

So why would I start smoking pot when all is going good? I did not think about the negative or darkness that I might be putting myself into again, its has been almost 9 years now with no drinking or drugs, then on a Saturday night, I get the urge to smoke pot. I found a person on CL and i went to meet him with 140.00 in cash to buy some Hydro Pot. I meet with this guy I don't know and he jumps in my new car and I give him the money and he dispersal
..lol He fucking ran off with my cash. Was I mad , no. That was weird, this guy just took my cash and hauled ass. I actually thought that I was buying from a guy that needed to get rid of what he had and went to his car to get my drug. I waited only 20 minutes and texted him and never heard back. I told him I guess you borrowed my money, No answer..I am glad he stole from me last night, I am not mad at what he did or mad at myself, I am just glad he needed this cash more than I needed the pot. God was watching out for me and the darkness.

Sounds stupid I know but I awoke feeling like I got high last night, but it was guilt that I actually was going to go through the hell I put myself through 9 years ago, not even thinking about ifI got caught by the police. I would of lost my job, my family would of been crushed, and the darkness would become real.

The lesson for me here, is I want the light that I live right now, AA will not keep you sober but it might help. Only I can keep Chris sober, and my relationship to God. I was blessed that I got spanked for trying to buy pot last night by having a piece of me , my money taken from me. The story of when things get going good you better watch out, is so very true. That is what happened, my life is going good and i wanted to taste the bud again in my mouth and nose. I love the smell of pot , always will, but it casued me problems and I don't need the problems. The kid did me a favor by taking my money and not returning. I feel stupid of course, but I have enough money that it did not hurt me that bad, which is good so in the long run, I did not go to jail , for having drugs and i did not screw up my sobriety. I have to be careful. I need to find a NA group maybe today. Oh well thought I would mention this for my blog. Have a God Filled sober day! Chris

God Loves You, Just Have To Believe, and Believe Can be Hard

To live a sober life and be productive is a challenge in itself. I don't know when I have felt so good in my life these last four months, and pray I do. I have not changed my prayers but I live with my prayers and don't expect anything in return and I'll be damned if God throws me a curve ball and what seemed doomed turns out ok. I have mentioned this many times and I have lived this many times. I think what I am trying to say is , if you really want something you have to look in the mirror and tell yourself and God it is time for a change please be with me. That is what I did 4 weeks ago and one miracle after another keeps happening. I deal with problems in a calm way, I dont stress at night or sweat the small stuff. Life has been good for me the last eight years, but I have to be careful cause I start to think well a drink sure sounds good about now. I have to say to myself I would not be in this good of a situation if I started drinking. Drinking has a lot to do with how we process our thoughts and actions. When sober for a period of time and a hold on reality for a change, I became to realize that God was running all these peoples lives in AA that wanted to stay sober . You can hear it in thier words. Words really express how one is at the moment. They can change your life if you use better and encouragement words in every way and every body. Do something for some one else, this helps as well. Good night. God Bless, He has me on a high and I don't want it to end.

All is Good in Sobriety

It has been some time since I have posted anything, I have been too busy with my new job and traveling almost every day. Yes I even travel by plane with my work. I have beat my fear of flying sober. That is one of several miracles that has happened to me in recent weeks. I truly believe that if you follow what you think Gods plan is for you and live this plan sober , that miracles will come true. I have talked about it and lived these miracles for about eight years ow, and because I am sober I am able to remember them and tell them to you.

My higher power is God and he listens to me and answers me when its his time not mine. I am very happy right now making a goood income and living a good life. Staying sober in the months I did not have a job I stayed busy doing things that led up to me getting my job. I woke up early and looked for work just like I had a job and several weeks later i landed a good paying and family business position that I am comfortable with finally. It is not easy but it is a challenge and God challeges me every day. You have to keep an open mind and say Yes I can do this. Even when in doubt, the fear goes away when you hand this over to God. Have a blessed day. Chris

Alcoholic? The Sinclair Method may be for You

I have to admit that The Sinclair Method has a very high percentage of sober alcoholics using thier system of taking  Naltraxone and then an hour later going out to drink. My viewpoint is I have learned the old fashioned  way of AA and I am brain washed into the teachings and what I know about AA, that I am not sure about The Sinclair Method for me. Like so many people who come to detox at a treatment center , there is a underlying problem with each and every one of us. Whether  this be depression or anxiety or some type of family issue such as divorce and these are reasons we drink at times. Not too many alcoholics drink for the taste after having several drinks in one sit down. Yes, the first drink of a beer was good, but to be honest , I got to the point I liked the feeling of what the alcohol was doing for me, not the taste of the beer. I would usually light up a joint and smoke that and enjoy the high off of that for a while then drink some more.

So where in this Sinclair Method are they going to combine a guy like me that liked pills and , pot , and drinking? That is the mystery and trouble with this method. Now if I was to relapse I would consider The Sinclair Method , if I got out of control, but I would still go back to smoking grass also and I am not sure how Naltrexone will help with the weed I smoked. Granted I have taken Naltrexone for recovery and it was taken at night and I slept like a baby, and woke up feeling pretty good, so I am sure the medicine does what it is intended. If you have multiple addictions is where I see the problem with this form of treatment, but I also see hope for those who use to drink , so it is a double edged sword.

Treatment centers are now putting disclaimers on their  websites as to why they are not using ,"The Sinclair Method", and I think that is fucking funny. They don't want to lose the thousands of dollars they get for a 30 day program from each drunk that passes the doors , that usually does not work the first time. How would it be to lose all these treatment centers and their  coverage  from insurance companies , it would be a blow to their   financial loss.

Therefor  , could it be that AA and the Treatment centers want to discount the theory and facts that The Sinclair Method might just be the answer to most alcoholics  problems? The Big Book of AA was written and has four or five revisions since it's first writing. Could this book become dust on the book shelves? Don't jump too fast because the program does work for some of us, as we were brain washed into this is how best to live life. I have to admit , life with AA is a good life, but is it the only way with so few getting sober from AA and the treatment centers that charge you a Ferrari  to enter their 30 day intensive program that may not work for you? I have heard numbers like 7- 10 % of people that go to these 30 day programs ever stay sober and that is a high percentage rate, but very disgusting and financially  hard on the patient and the family.

If I were not sober right now, I would want the Sinclair Method and this is because of the high success rates they have and the non-obtrusive  alternative that I now live. I live a good life but granted AA may just become a thing of the past and the 12 steps are a good program for anyone, that is living, whether addicted  or not. It is spiritual program.I have only one complaint on Dr. Bob and his first reaction to noticing a spiritual light that came into his life known as a God insight. He was on Belladonna at a nut house when he made the statement that he saw the light and the light changed his thinking about drinking and a God concept. Belladonna, fo those who do not know is a hallucinogen and man you can see  lots of things on this bad ass drug. Just saying...Chris 7/19/17

Negativity and Living Life Sober

That thing is this:

 

Not all things that people may say or think are really about you.

 

If someone is pretty much always negative about what other people do or
someone sometimes make personal attacks and let the destructive words flow
then - when such things are aimed at you - remember that it isn't always about
you.

 

Such words or negative habits can be a way for that person to release pent up
anger, frustration or jealousy about something in his or her own life. 

 

Or a way to reinforce that his or her viewpoint or belief is the right one. 

 

Or he or she may have a habit of getting others involved emotionally - baiting
them - to build a negative spiral, an argument or fight to get attention. 

 

It's about him or her. Not about something you did or want to do. 

 

You may just have been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

 

I have found that it can have a calming effect to remember this. And to remember
that the other person is still human and might be having a bad day, month,
marriage or job.

 

This doesn't mean that all criticism you may get is about the other person. Think
about what people tell you and ask yourself if there is something in what they say
that you can take to heart and perhaps work on.

 

Just don't make the mistake of thinking that all criticism or verbal attacks you get
is always about you. That will only tear you and your days apart and create
misery in your life. Taken from a positive email I got today. Chris

 

The Sinclair Method VS Alcoholics Anonymous

I was searching for a topic today and I found the Sinclair method of approach to drinking too much alcohol. I think it is a good approach to the alternative of AA. You decide what you think. Here is a few words about what The Sinclair Method is:

The Sinclair Method (TSM) uses the nervous system’s own mechanism, called “extinction”, for gradually removing the interest in alcohol and the behaviors involved in alcohol drinking. Therefore, the technical term for TSM is “pharmacological extinction.”

The key scientific discovery underlying the treatment was that, contrary to earlier beliefs, detoxification and alcohol deprivation do not stop alcohol craving but in fact increase subsequent alcohol drinking[1],[2]. The old idea that alcoholism is caused by physiological dependence on alcohol, therefore, needed to be discarded, and a new understanding of alcoholism developed.

Subsequent research showed that alcohol drinking is a learned behavior [3]. Some individuals, partly for genetic reasons, get so much reinforcement each time they drink, and have so many opportunities to drink and get reinforcement, that the behavior becomes too strong. They cannot always control their drinking; they cannot “just say ‘no’.”  And society calls them alcoholics.

Laboratory studies indicated that in most cases, the reinforcement from alcohol involved the opioid system, i.e., the same system where morphine, heroin, and endorphin produce their effects.[4]

The brain has two primary mechanisms for changing its own wiring on the basis of experience.  First, there is learning for strengthening behaviors that provide reinforcement.  Second, there is extinction for removing behaviors that no longer produce reinforcement.  The best known example involves Pavlov’s dogs that learned to salivate to the sound of a bell when the bell was followed by food, but then had the learned behavior extinguished when the food reinforcement was no longer given after the bell was rung.

Certain medicines, such as naltrexone, naloxone and nalmefene, block the effects of endorphin and other opiates. I reasoned that if alcohol is drunk while one of these opioid antagonists is blocking endorphin reinforcement in the brain, the extinction mechanism would be activated, and it would then produce a small but permanent decrement in alcohol drinking and craving. The next day, the person would be slightly less interested in alcohol. Eventually control would be regained, and the person would no longer be an alcoholic; indeed, they no longer would be interested in alcohol[5].

The Sinclair Method was confirmed, first in a large body of laboratory studies[6], then in over 90 clinical trials around the world[7],[8],[9], and most recently in personal reports by people using it[10]. It has been found to be successful in about 80% of alcoholics.  This is very high for alcoholism treatment, but the treatment is not for everyone: some people apparently have a different form of alcoholism that does not involve the opioid system and cannot be treated effectively with opioid antagonists.

The Sinclair Method is simply taking an opioid antagonist before drinking. Naltrexone, naloxone, and nalmefene are not substitution drugs similar to methadone for heroin addiction or Nicorettes™ for nicotine addiction. The opioid antagonists are not addictive, and they do not directly reduce craving for alcohol.  And unlike disulfiram, the opioid antagonists do not produce an unpleasant aversive effect. Indeed, the opioid antagonists do not do anything until after endorphin has been released. Then the mechanism of extinction is triggered, and the extinction mechanism in turn progressively but permanently removes the neural cause for excessive drinking.John David Sinclair, Ph.D., Researcher Emeritus

Interesting study , as I have taken Naltraxone from my psychiatrist and I have to admit my craving for alcohol did not exist. I think it is good to look at alternative treatments. Please comment. Thank You Chris

Grateful For What God Has So Freely Given Me

It is easy for me to get lost in my problems with life and forget to be grateful for those things in which God has given me. It is easy to get lost in the confusion of the day and realize that I am sober from alcohol and drugs and should be grateful that God has given me the strength to carry forward in this life. I am grateful to be able to type this at 8:00 AM on Friday morning because eight years ago I sure would of not been doing this blog. I was always hung over and to combat the hangover I would smoke a joint upon waking then the cycle of the addiction would take over my day.

I believe we all have all sorts of issues we have to deal with on a daily basis. The best way I prepare for the next day is to not expect that I will have another next day, I give it to God in prayer at night and ask him to do for me what I can't do for myself and to guide me , that is about it. Upon waking the next morning , surprise phone calls or seeing my dog wag her tail at me in enthusiasm is a wonderful start to a new day. My days are not perfect, and I still have my faults but I am clear headed and make some sense of what I am doing for the most part of the day. I try to help another human being out as often as I can but I forget to do this also, and then it comes natural. Helping another person out takes me out of self and makes me feel useful to this life. I am ever so grateful for God in making me a sober individual that my family wants to be around, and my friends also. This is a blessing, even the computers I have to write this blog are miracles to have considering when I was in my addiction I had no car or anything of materials as I sold most all twice in my life to afford my addiction to alcohol and drugs. I hit bottom so many times , I have lost count, I don't think this will happen again, or i at least pray for this not to be the case for me. Have a grateful Day, Chris