No More Medication for Panic

I take Xanax and Adderall for panic attacks but I have recently squired two Dr.'s to help me wean off these medications. These are addictive meds and should not be taken for long periods of time like I have taken them. My former Doctor said I could take them forever, however I noticed that they were losing their kick. I sought out help and as of Monday have started getting off these pills one by one. I don't know what to expect except the worse, but I don't feel that bad so I might be wrong. I took these because I could not stand the panic when I got out of treatment 8 years ago. My Doctor assured me that there would be no complications, so beware of what your Doctor may tell you when prescribing medication. The withdrawals can be very bad, if not done right like I am with a counselor and a different psychiatrist. I should be totally off in eight weeks.This will be a relief to me as I knew they were addictive but followed my Doctors advise and took these anyway.When your sober or getting sober life is different. Your whole entire outlook on life has changed. Learn how to accept this starnge new feeling before you go stomping off to a doctor like I did. This is day 2 of getting off of these medications and I am ok, and feel a little more better than I expected. I pray to the lord that this will continue to happen. In the meantime I am going to do volunteer work someplace to kill them time while I withdraw and spend a lot of time at Barnes and Nobles.I want to be normal again. Chris

Seek Help When it All Gets Too Much

Recently with not flying because of fear and losing another job. I have decided to get off the medications which can be addicting for anxiety. This is a feat in which I am going to have to accomplish because the pills just do not work. Sure I could take more of them and all would be fine for a while, but that is addiction, and I don't want to go further into my addiction so I have decided to get off Xanax and work through my problems with a LPC couselor and a new Psychiatrist, starting Monday. This will not be easy , as the panic will get worse but hopefully if I understand why I have panic attacks in the first place, that I will learn how to control them, without drugs. This is going to be a long term situation and since I am sober it should not be a s bad as when I was drinking and trying to get off medicine. Its a start in a new direction for Chris and a much needed one. Id rather fear and shake then have to take medicine every day. I am taking a large step in my mind and I have support from my family. I am sure I will kepp this site updated as I go through the process. God Bless. Chris Hyer

Am I A Failure in Life?

SO many things have backfired in my life. I am a alcoholic recovering and a former drug addict. Is that all I am? That does not look god on a resume. I am good man and I push forward in bad times, but I have to ask myself what am I really good at? We all have setbacks in life and maybe my recent flying routine is my setback. I lost another job , so that means Ill have to start all over . Sometimes this is too damn much. It is not that I am going to drink again, I don't have another drunk in me. I just get confused as to where to start off again to get my life in order. Here is a 53 year old man who cannot hold on to a job , but he can stay off the liquor, so I guess that is one thing in my favor. Very confused as to what to do next. A part of me just wants to get in my car and travel to the beach and get away. However when I get there what do I do? I can't run from myself but I would like to. I have reached a low point in my life right now. I hope all who read this will not be down, but can see that you can stay sober ina crazy world. Chris Hyer

Lost Job Due to Panic Attacks and Flying

Well, I have been obsessive for the last week for a flight for my new job. I was to fly out Monday early morning, However, I could not stand the anxiety the thought of flying was driving me crazy. I could not relax, and I emailed my boss tonight and told him the truth that I have Panic Disorder. His response was "Cancelled" referring to the flight. I have a feeling that also means you have no job with us. This really bothers me and is testing my sobriety right now. I need help dealing with Panic Disorder, I take medication but I knew if I got ont the plane and felt the panic I might take more than prescreibed. So I chicken out and said I just can't take this anymore. I'm upset of course, but this is not the first job I have lost to not flying. However it is time for an end to these attacks as they are taking control of my life. I feel so lonely, no one understands what I am going through. Have a good night. Chris

Day 3 New Job Sober

Well it has been a good three days , I wake up early and listen to meditation music for about an hour and then I am ready to ride with one of my co workers. They seem to be pleasant and helpful. I am not as nervous as I was in the beginning. I am very lucky to be with a top rated company and all the benefits I will acquire from within this company. I fly out Monday early morning about 6 am and this is ok. I am ready to face fear and if I have anxiety then that is ok. I cannot give this up becasue of being nervous. I have to remember that god will take these fears away from me if I ask. I got on my knees and prayed last night for him to take care of my fears and I woke up this morning feeling a lot more in control, though I know it is God working in me where I don't know how. God the spirit is all I need and a couple of AA meetings for medicine to get me through a great time in Springfield. The thought of getting out of town sounds good as I have not even left Midland in a few years. The unknown is an exploration and a wonderful part of my life that baffles my mind. Have a good Day. Chris Hyer

Starting A New Job Today Sober

Possibly I am starting a new job not hung over and sober today and this is new to me for the last few years. I use to get hired then did not make it in on the first day. I would usually put this new job off for as long as I could and I bet I made a shitty first impression.
This time I had ample time to get ready and I bought clothes and stuff to be prepared for this position. I will be flying and I needed things to keep my mind busy while I don't really like to fly. I have no fears..lol..I keep telling myself. However I do have a little apprehension with riding with a stranger today through friday and getting myself located with this job. Then I fly off for training next Monday and I wil not put that off either. I am going head first into all this job. I am a bit nervous to be around a lot of drinking out of town but I have delt with this before and I can do this again. I am on a new road today to hopefully a better life..Chris HYer

New things That Happen in a Sober life

Miracles keep happening in my life. I got a new job and I start this week, then travel quite a bit to train for this new position. New things to worry about , but I am trying not to worry and just let one thing happen at a time. Taking it slow and easy but being ready for the next event in my life. I am not high and mighty about flying but I was given the option to drive and the places I need to travel to are very long drives, in possibly snow type weather, so I will fly to these meetings. Fear of flying , is under the heading of many fears we use to have and we drank about them. This is nothing I will drink about , I might have anxiety and if I do I will keep as calm as I can and enjoy this flight . I have it in my head not to worry about the next day, as I am prepared for the events I will need to do in order to keep this job and be a good employee. Worry and fear have bothered me most of my life, however I have given this to God and let him control my emotions and take control of my life as it says in the steps. Any will on self is not good, so let God shine in to take care of the things I cannot control. I need this job and it is a good steady position and I will be proud of myself for completing the missions I will need in order to stay with this job. Not by my will but with God holding my hand and guiding me into the unknown.Hope you have a nice day..Chris Hyer