Saturday, June 25, 2016

Christopher from Social Sobriety

Hello, and welcome to my blog, I am Christopher and the picture is me and my baby girl, Abbey. We live together in Midland, Texas and love eash other very much. I have been sober going on nine years now. My sobriety date is May 21st 2008. I am very happy to be sober this Saturday morning and thought I would write in my journal a little about myself. There are a few of you that follow this blog and I thought if I put a picture to match the words you might like this.

I will be chairperson at AA this morning in Midland , Texas at the 12 step group. It is always nice to be called on to lead a group of recovering alcoholics. I get nervous in a good way. Sometimes I talk too much and I will try not to let this get in the way of the meeting, but life has so many good things to offer the recovering alcoholic. It is nice to wake up without a hangover and tremors. I feel as good as I can feel, and I even played about 20 minutes of hardcore Tennis last night in 100 degree weather. I am way out of shape , but I am going to work Tennis into my program, I am 53 years young and I could feel my muscles aching when I moved while playing last night. I played against the backboard on the Tennis court cause I have not found me any players to hit with yet.

I write this blog for my own benefit, and it is for me to look back to see how I have grown or what I could of done better. To be honest with myself , I never really look back at the stuff I have written since I have started this back in 2011, I believe. I am writing this for when I am old and in my 90s , cause I have a feeling I will live that long at least.

I highly recommend that id you are sober and have no one to love to get a Labrador Retriever as I have in this picture. They are loving animals and very human like. My puppy is now 2 years old and she is my life. We do a lot of things together and she gets me out of the house for walks. She walks me , you see. SHe is a female and is so loving and giving, and so much fun to talk to every single day. I wake up to her in the morning as she has her own room in the laundry room. She is always wagging her tail and eager to see me. She waits while I take a shower to make sure I am alright and then loves on me to tell me how happy she is. ANyway I am mumbling, just thought you might like to se a picture of us..Christopher

Saturday, June 18, 2016

Single and Sober

I was traveling the other day and decided to place an ad on Match.com and see if I could find a nice young lady. I have used all the free sites and I keep running into girls that want money, or escorts, hookers, and you name it I have talked to them. I really am not looking for sex, I am looking for a friend to spend time with for a long while. Does she need to be an alcoholic, not really , I can accept about anyone, and if they drink so be it. If they drink too much then that is a closer. However I have not been on this site for more than a day I am glad to see there really is a few delightful women on this thing. Communication is one way , my way..lol..However, I am taking this last chance of finding that special girl online one more time and even spent money for this service. I must be serious, I am reading how to pick up a girl instead of just telling her she os pretty in a nice way. So I look on google and searched cute oneliners I could use and we will see if that helps. They are good and it has made me think about how to communicate with a women's intelligence.

I have been alone for about over 20 years and not really dated since I have been sober, the reason why is it is hard to find women when you don't go to the bar. I , even thought about making a night of it tonight to see if I could go to a bar and feel comfortable in finding a dancing partner, but I am pretty shy. I am not the Alpha male I claim I am . I get nervous and freak out. It's like when I ask a girl to dance I feel like she thinks I want to sleep with her, which are not my intentions. The alcoholic thinking , I have is this. Like I said I have not even tried the bar scene in so many years, I rememberer from experiences that is how I felt. I can't tell a girls age but I would probably go for the 20 year old cause she is cute and get a "Your as old as my father " look. I can't judge age, so maybe I should go for the older looking girls and not risk any rejection,because I don't like rejection.

It's a new thing I am into right now in finding one to love. I guess I must be really needing this , as it has been hitting my head lately. Wish Me luck. Christopher Hyer

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Alcoholic and Using Words To a Better Life

As a recovered alcoholic , I have read several books on self -help for everything I can to help me with anxieties to living life sober. I did have a book call Persuasion Techniques and Using Words. I found this very enlightening as the words we say make a negative and positive effect on whom we speak to and how someone might take the words we speak.

Its interesting to me that how negative words can be taken out of context and other findings I found on words. It is like when you say "How are you doing today?" That is very common, and the usual answer is doing fine. However we are really not communicating our true feelings we are just giving the answer that is easily out of our mouths. You might have just yelled at your spouse and your having a crappy day but you don't want to get into all that with a complete stranger. . Positive and negative words are very interesting to look up and read about. What is a word anyway? Got you on that one, I don't have a dictionary and I don't want to look it up right now. That would be negative in a sense
 that I just don't want to tell you cause I really don't care to do a search on google and then write a paragraph on this subject.

I just thought I would throw in my two cents on words today and if you find a book about words and what you tell yourself with these words , I think you will find yourself maybe saying words that either upset other people or make even yourself fel bad with the words that you use on a daily basis. Being positive in a recovering system is what life is all about is where I am going with this. Like I said I write this for me, and anyone that reads this blog , is fine with me. This is my journal and I think I will watch my words. lol Christopher Hyer

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Gambling and Alcohol Addiction " They go hand in hand"

I am perfect by no means. What I am going to point out to myself on here is that yes, I have addiction problems. I'm addicted to sex, gambling and was addicted to alcohol. I heard a speaker at my Treatment Center named Chris Raymer , and he goes on to say that we all have that little pleasure person inside us called the "Issue Man" The "Issue Man" Loves pleasure we get from drugs alcohol, sex, gambling anything that gives us a high. This part of our body craves our addiction and will tell us to get more of it. Controlling the :Issue Man " is near impossible for the recovering addict. However that is where the 12 steps come in to say , hey stop the insanity and let us get with the program; Chris. I do alright for a while then I fall back into gambling , I know the value of money, but I also know the rush I get from hitting a jackpot. They are almost the exact same except I don't get the same type of hangover with gambling as I did with alcohol. I do get a hangover from gambling especially if I have lost a lot of money. I feel terrible, and shameful , gutted, and stupid.

Yes, gambling produces a high like nonother I can think of. It is time-consuming and with the laughs and crowd, it can be most enjoyable to thiose of us who don't have anything else to do with our time. I drive 100 miles almost evry weekend to go gamble and I win at times , but lose more than win. Until I accept this for what it is, it might get worse, and I better watch out. I am on alert to this problem , and I thought I could control it, and I did but this last weekend I blew my whole paycheck, so out of control for me.

Beware of your addictions and how to manage them or do without them. Use the 12 steps to get out of something that may be ruining your life or taking your hard earned money. I know from experience that when I do wrong , I feel it. Nothing is worth going back to drinking for me , and I will have to deal with this addiction when I am serious about working it. It is just like an alcoholic, gambling is . You need to know when to stop or it will catch your ass when you are not looking. Hope this helps you as I hope it helps me. Christopher Hyer

Sunday, June 5, 2016

Time and the Alcoholic

Time, when we are awake and have a holiday or a weekend day off for an alcoholic can be a little unusual. In Midland, Texas there is no lakes for miles or mountains for miles and really not much in entertainment except for  eating out, or going to a movie. I have done both for the last 8 years and I have to say it gets boring. I might just be relaxed and with nothing to do, I get a little confused.I don't think about drinking or smoking but I do wonder what the hell to do. I drive  at least 1500 miles a week with the company I am with and the last thing I want to do is go for a ride. I use to paint a little bit here and there but I found this boring in itself. I am alone most of the time I am off, I don't date anymore. I have not found anyone I would even consider dating at my age of 53 in this town. I have looked, believe me I am on every singles sight there is that is free and no one appeals to me. A few ladies do appeal to me, but I have these chat sessions and they get boring really quick because I know where they are heading, to the next time I chat with them. lol

I'm not saying that life alone is boring , but at times, it can be. Maybe that means I need to change up my program a little bit. I go to enough AA meetings a week, and that is not the answer. To be honest with myself I don't want to hang out with a bunch of recovered drunks every day of my life. I like to break away from the social sobriety thing and just do my own thing. With so many years of drinking and being alone, I am glad I am sober at least for one more day and that is how I justify my boredom. I would sit at home with a hangover almost daily and have an excuse to be bored then. I now am sober and almost do the same thing as when I was drinking. I must find an activity that will give me a rush to do on days off. I will work on this possibly as I get tired of movies at home and yet I am 53 and most people my age, I am not sure what the hell they do except for rest on their day off. Hell, I only had one day off from work and I'm talking about boredom. Christopher Hyer

Friday, June 3, 2016

Sobriety and the Internet "huh"

Well, interesting enough, I started writing this blog about 7 years ago and I have about 400 readers monthly . So you are reading what was intended on being a personal journal abut my sobriety and living life. Thank you for finding an interest in this blog. I don't care if a thousand people read this a month, I am not making any money for it..Anyway, I had my AA Birthday night last week and 20 people turned out to listen to what I had to say. It really was a large crowd for my group as we are a small group of usually about 6- 10 people showing up to meetings. I was glad that there were people interested in what I had to say.
I wrote most of what I wanted to say down before going to the meeting as I was the only speaker. There was a fellow from the treatment center, called La Hacienda that was there, he was alright I guess. Treatment centers trip me out. They take all your money when you go into one and if you have no previous association with AA , it can really throw you for a loop. Especially if you don't stay sober when your 30 days are up. Then you lost about 60k from La Hacienda and then they beg you to come back. Shit, I understand that a lot of celebrities and musicians go to this treatment center, even more than the Betty Ford clinic in California. You would think there would be some type of warranty with your money. I guess what I am saying is that if you have not fallen off a cliff and lost everything , please get yourself some free help from the Salvation Army or something like this organization. It is no country club , but I have been there in Ft Worth and I did stay sober for about 4 years because the damn place scared the crap out of me. Scared straight!! Maybe that is the answer instead of expensive country club spa locations that cater to the rich and famous.

These are only my opinions but in real life when you get out of the country club setting , you might still have a job and a house and a spouse but nine times out of ten most have lost all. This is not true for everyone, granted we all hit our own bottom when we decide it or alcohol and drugs have taken our money and cars and caused relationships to dry up. There is hope for everyone, including myself. staying sober for eight years is the most I have ever been like this and I don't ever see myself going back to the old way of living because I was not living, I was dying..

Truth, is I am living a great life, now. Yes , there are some downfalls, but I am hitting them straight on with honesty and truthfulness.It is so much better than all the lies I use to tell people tomake myself feel good, and I did feel good when I was high or stoned. I feel good straight now also, and it takes a few months or years to feel like I do right now. I would be a fool to go back to the past and re-live my whole crushing living with booze and drugs. I think about it at times that I had fun parties, but in reality, I was not having that much fun. I was drunk or high and just existing in my body. We all have addiction traits , like to chocolate or ice cream. However , they do not change the way you think or communicate with the world. They are fun addictions that need control. I drink Swepps Soda Water all the time and I am addicted to the bubbles and frosty feel in my mouth. It is like a ber , if you know where I am coming from. I even get virgin Bloody Mary drinks at the bar sometimes because I like them. However , I don't go to the bar on a monthly basis. I am pretty much working at something everyday. I feel like I am excelling in every day and accomplishing something as stupid as washing my clothes or taking the dog for a walk. These are things I never did when I was using alcohol or drugs. in the past I just sat at home and painted some pretty far out pictures with oil paint and got high, I saw stuff and painted them. They were graphic and I can even do this sober, but it took a while for my artistic self to realize I did not need to smoke a joint to paint. I guess we never forget the past and remeber the good times more than the bad. I think that is where AA helps me out. I wish you al a good weekend and I hope you enjoy my blog. Keep coming back it just gets more and more interesting I think..lol  Christopher Hyer

Sunday, May 29, 2016

Non-Drunk Memorial Day and Socially Sober

It's been a while since I have written. I do this blog for my own journal anyway, so when I look back over the future, I can see how much I have grown or resisted growth. However you are welcome to review my blog post and make comments.

Its Sunday night in Midland, Texas and it is Memorial Day on Monday, in which we have so many Veterans that are young and old that have made the USA free with the work in our military. God bless them and hopefully we can bring home a few thousand more young people home with thier families. That is what life is about , is family living and not war. I think our political system seems to split this up especially during the election year. Let's bring our brothers and sisters home where they belong.

Staying sober today is no different than it was last week or eight years ago for me. I do stay sober for a reason. The main reason is I do not want to feel bad the next day. When drinking and smoking pot , at night usually , I was very happy and content I thought. However ,now that it has been 8 years of complete sobriety, it is just normal for me to be sober on any given day. That is a great obstacle I have overcome over the time of being sober, and I hope if you have a drinking problem you will realize that this can happen to you also. It takes a little bit of work on your part and a lot of spiritual work on God's part to stay sober, but once you have it, sobriety will stay with you as long as you will it to be.

I am not feeling like I am missing out on anything right now, I worked today and I have lots of hours in overtime, and this makes me happy. I have other problems besides worrying about drinking today , that the urge to have alcohol is not even a option. I will celebrate with the 12 step group at the PDAP building in Midland, Texas on Wed at 7:30 PM of this week. So if anyone is local , please say you saw my blog and I will be happy to know you.I have no idea of what I will say as my sobriety is due to so many things in my life. From AA Meetings to the spirit of god I pray to everyday to my family being happy I am alive and living without alcohol and pot. That should be enough, as some of the speaker meetings can go on and on. I will not talk about certain things in my life, but I am really an open book when I am at these meetings and I believe that most in my group know my circumstances.

Why do we talk about the past, I guess it is to remember where we came from and how the fight to keeping sober for so long is accomplished to those who cannot even think about being sober for a day. I know I was one of these people, and yet after several treatment centers and breaking so many hearts. I did stay sober this time for myself. It has paid off with love and material things that I have worked for. I live in a nice large house and have a loving puppy that loves me to pieces. I just hope that I can keep on staying sober for one day at a time like I have. That is all it really takes is AA Meetings and believing that you can make it one day at a time until the obsession goes away and it will. Well,thats about all I have to say, back to watching a movie and having a pizza. Goodnight. Christopher Hyer