Depression and Sobriety: Do they conflict?

I write this blog to keep track of certain stages in my life as I live sober day to day and try to keep my head high. There are times like now, where I am questioning my outlook into the future. I have started a new franchise and it is not going very well. I have ben working PT as a Uber driver and this is fine, but not many rides lately. Therefor the money I was making has dwindled down to the point I have to borrow. I am looking for a full time job right now, not as hard as I should casue I don't know exactly what I can do.

When I was drinking almost eight years ago, wow..I had problems with getting work cause I had so many jobs I bounced to and from. They were usually white collar jobs and I learned quite a bit about interviewing and quitting. The experience from the past is now different in my present state. I lost my good paying job and I dwindled into Ebay and made a smal fortune but that was lived fast. Then I got this idea of a franchise I bought into and this is stale right now. I need advertising, and blogging has helped bring more business , however not enough to sustain a living from this new position.

I am very creative , with art, music and photography, I know how to dress the part in the role in which I decide to put myself in. I have so many talents that possibly if I focused on one of them I could make a living at one of these hobbies. I am 52 and the age thing bothers me today. I don't really look this old but it is getting harder to do a few things I use to could accomplish in my youth. I am lonely and have not even had a date in over ten years. I feel like I need a vacation from life , I seem to always be chasing jobs and money. Maybe this is the real world, but it has gotten to the point I get depressed when I am at a roadblock.

Alcohol and drugs are not the answer nor have they even entered my mind, but a solution to my problems right now have been positive cause I have stayed sober this long. I have the help when I need it now, and I don't lie about how my life is really going. I face life in a truthful manner and discuss this with my family. They seem to respect the fact that I have taken action and have not let myself get down and keep pushing forward, where back in the day I just gave up. So Sobriety and depression can go hand in hand. However there is a light at the end of my tunnel. Just not sure which way God is jerking me toward . Is it left or right? Is Chris suppose to be going on this little hayride and into the unknown again sober.

God is in my prayers for everything and everyone , and I include myself. Living life on life's term is not very easy to me at this point in my life, however, I am doing this. Fell glum and try to perk up but it is difficult as the days fly by. I am always busy looking for signs on the Internet or marketing my company. So I just dont give in and up. 10.28.2015

New Chapter in My Life Today Sober!!

I have been researching and wondering how to make a full time business with little or no money down. I came up with an answer that I pray will work. I have decided to get into the shopping business, Yep, there is a need in my city as I have discovered by my clients I drive around in Uber and there is no one in the area doing this type of work.
 I started out with a business plan and marketing , and have succeeded in grasping a hold of the money for a franchise that will enable me to get a web presence and apps for my customers. Sobriety clears the head!! It gives one a creative thought that you can act upon and deliver if persistent in staying sober and confident that you are doing the right thing to the right people.
 Is that part of the drinking problem is hanging around the wrong type of person whose life was going nowhere and your also  , and its an affliction to the addiction. You both have no motivation to make anything out of yourself except a drunk. I talk about AA and my sobriety when I drive for Uber, and it gets mixed reviews. I expect I don't really care, however it makes me glad when I am tired and sober at the end of my day.
 I have positive thoughts now, and I grew up negative. I never thought I would amount to much but acted as though I was indefensible when I was drunk or stoned. I was lyeing to myself for so many years that I believed the lies. Those days are gone and reality has hit once more, and I have high hopes and God to back me on my new project. Keep plugging and stay sober, or get help getting sober. It really does pay off in the long term situation with families and friends..God Bless..Christopher Hyer 10.8.2015

Uber Time For this Fellow Alcoholic

I have a little more spare time with losing my job or do I? I have been driving for Uber and making decent money to pay my bills in the West Texas area. Where there is a will and a way you can find your answers by praying for God and to him. As a recovering alcoholic I find that my work with Uber has been humbling from the start. It is really a cool job  , except for all the down time that I have no calls. However if you work it or stay on the App for long enough each and every day , I am making a little more money than I was with my last company.
 Is this  wonderful that I can leave my former job and find money driving my car, and actuallly make my bills? I think miracles from God come in many shapes and sizes. For my case I get to attend more AA meetings and have more free time, and yet I am working probably harder now then ever. How do I mean by this?
 I have started to think of ways to make a living where I am in control..Hahah..Sounds familiar to the alcoholic that has recovered, but in reality God is in control of my thoughts of self-employment. I have decided to start a need for a shopping service in Midland , Texas and there is no compitition in this market. I have found a template to work with and have made a business plan, ( which I would of never done if drinking), and things seem to add up just right. Will it be easy, no .However anything that is easy reaps no benefits and I am aware of this with my seven years of sobriety. I am not really counting the years of being sober, but brought that up to show those of you how one's mind can be straighten up and clear as to seing new objectives coming my way.
 With Uber I do 12 step work in helping people that have drank too much get home safe and no in trouble with the law and get paid for this, What a deal this is and it bothers me not one bit at all. Of course this is temporary but the money and people are all good. This is a God send for people out of work with a newer vehicle to use this platform in a way to make money. You also meet some reallly nice people in the world this way. Sober ones and not so sober ones.
 Do I preach Aa? Yes and no, I explain I am a recovered alcoholic and some wonder how to stop. I explain how I did, and answer any questions someone may have. It is a great feeling to be a rescue of sorts to others whom are strangers...
 In the long run if I was not sober right this minute I would be a wreck!! No doubt about this, however I have learned how to forgive and forget the bad. I have learned how to ove those that my or may not like me. I seem to shine when I have a new rider with me and I always have something to ask them. I am curious as to what they do and why they do what they do. I try not to ask to many questions and the drunks are some of the nicest people I have met. Most just slur thier words but I have to give them credit for not being stupid and driving. It's funny how I can not relate to most of them, cause I would of driven my car where these smart social drinkers take Uber instead cause they know the consequences of driving while having too much to drink, I give them dredit for responsibility to thier selves and others.
 I am no saint I just try to live by the 12 steps in AA and I try to adhere to most of them throughout my daily grind of driving and waiting. I am treated with respect and did not know that would happen. Maybe I bring something to these people that ride with me. I know when they smile they are comfortable with me as a driver and friend for just a few minutes and this is rewarding. Humbling oneself is very good for the soul and I am doing just that. I am not at home complaining that things are not going my way they are going in a direction I would of not picked if I were stilll using. Only those with sobrioty can understand what I must be talking about. Sober life is a good life and even though there are trials and situations I do not agree with they flutter off my shoulder and I rest in peace while I go through the day. Remeber this is not for you, this is for my self, I am selfish but I am loveable and a great man. I have become this though the program of AA and those that love me , yes even my family see I am doing something with my life and loving Chris for what he is doing. This would not be true if I was to start drinking again. So onward with sobriety and through the fog I see the light and it is good..God Bless Christopher Hyer

Sober The Tough Times

I have not written for a while now and I guess things were going to good. I have lost my job with 2 years behind my belt. Was I being unreasonable , I don't think so. I was up for a pay raise and the company wanted me to go into Production Printing . I had no problem with moving up but not with the salary they were paying me or not willing to pay me. The company found a minute issue with my job performance and decided I did not deserve a raise this year. I informed them through email I did in fact deserve a raise and I was professional in asking for this raise. Anyway I am now a official Uber driver in Midland, Texas with hardly any rides this week.

Staying sober through all this has been a challenge but the obsession to drink has been taken away for many years now, In fact I have seven years sobriety , so going out and getting drunk was not an option this time. I got on my high horse and stated selling on eBay and making quite a bit of money drop-shipping products form other retail outlets, until eBay caught on and put a hold on my account, for drop-shipping, I worked hard on this website listing more than 300 items to sell and then a complete stop by eBay and I was not in violation of anything wrong. They wanted me to verify who I was and where I got my products from. I told them the truth and sent the required documents then they wanted them again. I said Hell no, I am not going to provide any more information as I already have done this twice. I can't figure eBay out I was making about 4000 per week in net income from doing this and it was a headache, but God must have other things in mind for me.

Living life on life's terms is a hard thing to do at times, but God has brought me through many difficult times and I am sending out Resumes to everyone. In Midland , Texas it was booming with oil prices in the 80 to 100 a barrel prices but now that it is down to 4-0 dollars its dead out here. The bust has set in and the jobs are not there like they were a year ago. Like I said I am writing this journal so I can look back at my life as it progressess. It would appear that I am degressing at this point in my life, but I am not.

It is called change, and God knows I have changed for the better and he will choose what is best for me next. It is the waiting game that kind of throws me off. You see I am wanting results now, and I am working at anything I can to lessen the burden of having to borrow from anyone to pay my bills right now. I have sources that are willing to help me, and I am putting them off the best I can because I can make it. I might have to borrow from someone to get through this stage but not for long and the good thing about being sober, is the trust factor that people have with me now. In the past no one would of been willing to help me out in the situation I am in now. So staying off of drugs and drinking does pqay off in more than a few ways for me.

God , I hope whoever reads this realize I am not perfect in any way. I am just sober trying to live by God's will not mine, but I do have to put things into action as I am doing. I don't sit around watching Television or anything like that. I am not depressed as I know something better is headed my way, cause that has been the case through seven years of believeing in a higher power , which is God whom love you and me, and ask for his help in our time of needs. God Bless..Christopher

Staying Sober Through The Day

Work seems to help me and keeping my attitude towards God , and prayer keeps my mind offf of the drink thing. During the day I listen to music while I drive to different accounts around the area I live. I enjoy my music and my car, so most of the time I am occupied by work and driving during the day. I have been known to do a little bit of gambling online when I am not working a full day and I don't think this is positive for anyone. Like , I said from the beginning I am only human and I write this blog to keep track of my progress through the years of sobriety.
I attend AA meetings twice a week and sometimes more and sometimes not at all. I do find a spiritual connection when I go and I am glad when I go . The problem during the week is when I get home from a long day, I cook and feed and play with my Labrador and then relax playing my music and eat and then go to bed. Its been a good habit , yet sometimes a break in my habits are good also.I don't usually break my haits of prayer in the morning or in the day then evening. This has become a ritual of mine daily and seems to also keep myself sane and sober at the same time. 
I think the worst part of sobriety is to have idle hands where you don't have anything to do but search the web and just see whats going on. It can be depressing and it can be enlightening. For me, I do a little of both each day.
I have seven years of sobriety in a few days and it seems long yet it was short. The growing up I have done is remarkable thanks be to God. I attribute my sobriety to the spiritual side of the AA program and to the many friends I have in AA. The Big Book also has been a great way for me to understand myself as well. I hope this helps other people in their trek for staying sober as we all live different lives and situations. I still have money issues even with a good paying job, that is my fault but they are slowly getting better by the month as I pay down bills. Nobody said being sober and a good citizen of the world is easy but it can be if you let it be..Chris

Fear of The Unknown and Sobriety

Driven by a thousand forms of  fears we drank to rid ourselves of these fears. Facing fear head on is like facing the Devil and in fact fear is evil. If you think about it, the most fearful things we have today is the not knowing sensation. Not knowing if Jade Helm 15 is an exercise or just a military over run of our country is fear. This is big fear, this is evil fear.

If you think about it this whole fear factor with the military exercise is put in place by our own government. Evil is not stupid, they knew web sites would go up and fear would overcome some people into thinking the odd things they write for us to read on the internet. Mainstream TV is just now getting involved into this fear of ourselves, and it is growing. It is not the time to drink and say , Oh man might as well, the world is coming to an end. That is giving into fear and that is exactly what the Devil  wants is for us to give in to fear of an invasion. Personally , I think this is a show and an act of stupidity of our government to see how frightened they can get people, to run to the hills type of thing.

For those of us that believe in God we fear nothing, not even a government that does not acknowledge our pledge of allegiance, as I was trying to remember this the other day. It is a shame that so many Veterans have to be look at this as an invasion but I can understand where they think. They fought for our country and I still believe in our military . The military has orders and they will go through with them, but fear not any blood shed during this exercise, because I don't believe there is enough American soldiers that would shoot their own people. If provoked by some activist this could be a different story , and that I can see happen with all the mis-information being passed along the internet. How was this provoked by our US Army Generals in releasing documents and statements of their planned activity in our country. Did we really need to know this, as they do these exercises daily across the country., yes to promote fear so we should fear our Federal government.Why? Who really knows but of course there is changes happening in our own country.

So say your prayers for our soldiers and pray for the President and God Bless him for he may not know what is wrong and what is right.Fear starts with the high command and then ripples down to the people in ways where technology goes around the world in seconds through pages like this one.

I am for the Federal government having our soldiers here on US land, they are not at risk here, therefor their lives will be spared and this is what this is all about . Saving lives and making our soldiers stronger in battle The fear factor I could do without but thanks to limited coverage and our resources on the web we get several opinions that make seance to us and we believe someof them..Go sober and tell a service man you love him or her for their work..DO not bow down to fear though...God Bless...

Hostile Sober Texans

The heading is misleading in the fact that Jade Helm 15 has declared that Texas is hostile on thier map for exercises in the Texas area this summer. Is this something to worry about? Supposedly not, because they are our American troops in these war games and they are our children, aunts and uncles that make up the USA Army and special forces. For a person getting sober though this can mean a time of great confusion. With all the conspiracy theories out on the internet about what is really going on with our government it could frighten the most highly decorated veteran.

To tear away from this army exercise I have to say this is the best time for a person to get sober and keep his feet on the ground and not make any hasty thoughts control your actions. I think the fear I have with this Jade Helm 15 is that some crazy local militia person goes crazy and pop shots one of our soldiers out of fear and all hell breaks loose. That is the fear I have about this Jade Helm training. I wish they would just call it off , so we can live our lives like we have. There has been too much abrogation in the media and on the internet as a full blown war against ourselves. However right the websites may or may not be, it is confusing to the general public as to whom to believe.

I live for God and I am a Christian and no one will change this. No one!!!I have stayed sober because of my belief in God and my Christian ways. I ask my fellow friends to remember who really runs our country and that is one nation under God..Therefor we have no fear to fear. Remeber the army is on our side even if given orders to disrupt our peace and freedom , I don't think the USA forces woudl implament a plan to invade our home towns. I do believe this has been blown out of proportion and the conspiracy theories are not too far off their intentions, but we are talking about US forces, not Russian or any other country practicing on our soil.

STay sober and just be aware of yourself and how you feel. Let someone know if you have concerns about living life sober. A sponsor is what this is called in AA. Do not go out and buy a gun because of this army exercise, that would be stupid. Trouble enacts trouble and fears run rapid amongst those whom do not believe that God will take care of all of us in the end..