Showing posts with label Alcoholic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alcoholic. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Good Things About being Sober

Monday I went to San Antonio with my AA sponsor to a meeting in which my sponsor Eddie was to speech
. We had a good time talking on the trip down there and then we hit the meeting in town and he got a standing ovation. Very proud of him and he was proud that I went with him on the 5 hour trip. On the way back on Tuesday to Midland I was called for a second interview with a company I have been trying to get on with in employment. I returned home and this was a phone interview and I had passed my electronics test and personality test , so I was pretty happy. This is a miracle from god that we talk about in AA , and how God works in our lives when we least expect it. Anyway I was invited to my last interview to be held on Thursday morning over the phone again with the hiring manager, so I would assume I am pretty well hired, but I won't know until Thursday.

Sobriety and giving back was was freely given to me is what this AA program is all about. Working the steps and getting out of self is a major part of staying sober as well. Taking your medication as directed is part of the program. Put all these together and you will have a healthy lifestyle working for one day at a time. I am living proof of the miracles and the confusion I bring to the table of a recovering alcoholic. I have fought the system and things in my life just did not work out, even when I thought I was in the right. God has blessed me , even in the hard times of my life as written in this blog with a better life when I let go and do something for others than myself. God Bless and have a good day. Chris

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Checked out Of Rehab

I checked out of Rehab for Xanax and Adderall on Monday as I could not go through this 30 day program. I got off all my medication but it was too fast of a withdrawal. My ears were ringing very bad in this loud facility and I went home because I needed something for my Panic which was over whelming to me, as a cloud of dust was a fog in my eyes. I went to my regular MD on Monday and he prescribed heart medication and Prozac for me to calm down and this has helped more than anything. I am finally off every pill except for 2 mg. of Xanax in which I put myself on compared to the 6 mg. I was taking for over 8 years. I do not drink anything alcoholic , so I am not at all concerned about any type of relapse, as this tr
eatment program was for alcoholics and drug users that have no experience with the 12 steps of AA. I have over eight years of sobriety and I took this medication as prescribed by a psychiatrist. Therefor I was ask many times why I was getting off Xanax, and I was told by two Doctors that I was taking too much. Inside , I kind of knew that 6 Mg. of Xanax was way too much , but i felt like the Dr. knew what he was talking about. Be careful about these Doctors that prescribe Xanax as it works very good with Panic attacks , but is very addictive in the long haul. I am feeling pretty good, going on a long walk with my puppy this early AM and I had breakfast and took the new medication with the blood pressure medication I have just gotten. I am taking this one day at a time, with the love of my family behind me, I will beat this . God bless Chris

Friday, February 17, 2017

Sober Weekend and Yourself

Today I would like to share one of my favorite thoughts on self-improvement.
 
This short thought comes from Nathaniel Branden's book The Six Pillars of
Self-Esteem and it simply goes like this: 
 
"No one is coming".
 
Short. But it has been a powerful and sobering reminder for me.
 
Because yes, you can look for the next big thing that will fix you. 
 
Read more blog articles. Read more personal development books. Look for people
to help you. 
 
And yes, some articles, books, products or people will give you support and
insights that resonate deeply with you and that you can put into practice. 
 
But in the end, if you are an adult then no one is coming. No one is coming to save
you. You have to take responsibility for your own life and what happens in it.
Other things and people can certainly aid you quite a bit. But you are responsible.
 
You can go around blaming society or some people for your problems in your
social life. Or finances. Or health. You can always find scapegoats to judge to feel

better about yourself. You can look for people that will "fix you". You can do this
for the rest of your life if you like. It won't change much. Whatever has to be done,
it's you who have to take responsibility and do it.
 
Yeah, things might always not go your way. You'll fall and stumble and you will
probably have bad luck from time to time.
 
But you still have to focus on yourself and on doing what you can do with what you
have in whatever situation that may arise in your world.

In sobriety we are the one who is responsible for completing Step 1 completely or we fail over and over again.
To move onto the other 11 Steps , first you have to accomplish the first step on your own.

You can do this, however only by yourself. No one can keep you from drinking.
 
Have a wonderful weekend!

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Being Positive in a Negative Thought in Sobriety or Life Itself

Say stop in situations where you know you cannot think straight.

Sometimes when I am hungry or when I am lying in bed and are about to go to
sleep negative thoughts start buzzing around in my mind.

In the past they could do quite a bit of damage. Nowadays I have become good at
catching them quickly and to say to myself:

No, no, we are not going to think about this now.

I know that when I am hungry or sleepy then my mind sometimes tend to be
vulnerable to not thinking clearly and to negativity.

So I follow up my “no, no…” phrase and I say to myself that I will think this
situation or issue through when I know that my mind will work much better.

For example, after I have eaten something or in the morning after I have gotten
my hours of sleep.

I know from experience that when I revisit a situation with some level-headed
thinking then in 80% of the cases the issue is very small to nonexistent.

And if there is a real issue then my mind is prepared to deal with it in a much
better and more constructive way.

Say stop to getting lost in vague fears.

Another trap that I have fallen into many times that have spurred on
overthinking is that I have gotten lost in vague fears about a situation in my life.
And so my mind running wild has created disaster scenarios about what could
happen if I do something.

So I have learned to ask myself: honestly, what is the worst that could happen?

And when I have figured out what the worst that could happen actually is then I
can also spend a little time to think about what I can do if that often pretty
unlikely thing happens.

I have found that the worst that could realistically happen is usually something
that is not as scary as what my mind running wild with vague fear could produce. 

Finding clarity in this way usually only takes a few minutes and bit of energy and
it can save you a lot of time and suffering.

Sunday, February 12, 2017

Big Spring, Texas AA Group Celebrates 70 years of Sobriety

What a day Saturday turned out to be. Big Spring, Texas is about 40 miles east of Midland, Texas and I went to celebrate their anniversary of 70 years for this group. There was a meeting at 1:00PM followed by a Al anon Speaker who was really good , then lunch from kitchens of alcoholics comprised of southern fried chicken and you name it the food was there. My uncle from Bedford Texas was the key speaker for AA and his wife Vera. I never had heard his story and it was good , he has over 37 years of sobriety and his wife about the same. Friends from Odessa and other cities across Texas gathered at this meeting for the celebration.

My father who drinks hard at times even came which blew my mind. He came with his brother Pat H. to this whole event which might mean he is interested. You never know who will show up at these gatherings. I was really proud of my father attending this celebration, for he might be one of us. He is the only one that would know, however. It was 90 degrees in Big Springs, Texas this winter day of Saturday the 12th of 2017 and that was a mind blower as well. The meeting drew approx. 100 people from all over Texas and lasted about five hours. I was exhausted afterwards and went back home. It was a day in history to see my father in a AA meeting on his own will. He recently lost his wife to Lupus after fighting this disease most of her life. My father is 80 years old but surely does not look the age. He still works and is active, but I am sure a little bit depressed from losing his wife.

I decided I better get the one love in my life some chocolates for her Valentines, that would be my mother. She has helped me in so many ways and support my sobriety with no end. I am very blessed to have both parents still living and healthy. Days like Saturday humble ones self like me. It makes you think about the good times and the not so good, maybe that was why I was drained. I don't usually go to these type conferences, I usually stick to the one hour meetings and leave. I see now why it is important to come to these gatherings, I had nothing else to do , plus I never heard my Uncles' story but I experienced  his drinking when I was young, and those thoughts were in my head. What a better man he is now. If you get a chance go to a conference like this one, it can be long and you do need to take breaks. Chris Hyer , One Day at a time.

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Accepting God Into Your Life Sober or Not

I know this is a strange heading I am writing about . However it is true that if we just acept Jesus into our lives , we will all go to heaven. Now some religions such as Mormons do not believe in this simple act, which is fine. I am not teaching religion on this blog, this blog is about saving lives through knowing a spirit greater than your self , named God. God and Jesus are the same. God is not man and Jesus is the spiritual advisory for God. If you are sober you have come to believe in a power greater than yourself, if your in AA, you know this spirit must be God or Jesus. Once you take the simple step and invite Jesus into your life, you will go to heaven. Period.

I don't know about you but when I die I want to go to heaven. I don't know what Hell is but I have a feeling I have visited Hell many times while I was in my addiction. Maybe you have felt this way also. It is enough to convince me that there is a loving God who can take away my sins and forgive me and help me to stay sober if I just ask for this act. Simple as it may sound , we find all the wrong answers to sobriety, maybe we think we can handle one more drink, maybe just one more pill. In some instances this may be true, but rare for us who have been diagnosed as alcoholic, and the AA book is a spiritual book with a chapter for Agnostics , so maybe some relief for those who have a hard time believing in a higher power such as God can come to rest with their alternative solution. I am here to say that God has blessed me with sobriety because I ask for it. I have not had a alcoholic drink in over 7 years which does not mean one thing except that the obsession to drink was taken away from a power greater than myself. That power is known to me as the spirit of God.

I hope who reads this understated the power of God in the steps of AA are not just writings on the wall or in the Big Book, we do have to take action and for go our old ways and develop new ways of living in the world as we are living. Understanding a God can be confusing with all the hate in the world, but I do know i sin every single day, and I ask for forgiveness in the day or evening for my sins. I have had miracles that have come true and spiritual experiences that would blow your mind. Is staying sober worth it? Yes, it is when I have so much going for me and sometimes I take this for granted. I forget God when things are going good and times, and when they are going bad I pray to God to make a wrong decision I have made into a right one to pleasure God.

To be honest I probably pray more now than ever. Maybe that is why when I am weak I do not think about alcohol, when I am strong and happy , I do not think about alcohol. There has to be a power that is informing me in some manner that drinking is not my answer. This is just a small part of living is the drinking. But it is big enough to kill a person who goes out and re-tries drinking . I have lost three people who are my age this month from drinking or drugs. They tried AA and they tried the program, but how much of a relationship did they have with their God? Happy Sunday. Chris Hyer

Sunday, November 6, 2016

Proof that Sobriety is a Beautiful Idea to Achieve

My spnosor sent the following message to my email as he always shares very interesting things to me. I belive it is God placing two people who are recovered alcoholics together with the same thinking in mind . Sobriety is such a beautiful idea to conceive, if not sober today, I would not of found this as beautiful as I did this morning . I hope you enjoy this.

Wyman Meinzer, the Texas State Photographer, used to live in the old jail in Benjamin, TX. The photo of the coiled rattlesnake appeared on the cover of a wildlife magazine in the 80's. He said there were times he crawled a long way on his belly to get a good shot of a wild animal.

The music is by Doug Smith. Doug is from Petersburg, Texas and lives south of town. Doug plays by ear- He cannot read music, but has many CDs. A pickup accident left Doug paralyzed and he does not play anymore.

Most of the pictures were taken in the rolling plains (cap rock to Seymour, the Fork, 6666, and Waggoner Ranches). There are some scenes in Palo Duro Canyon.

Please take a moment to watch this....I don't know if I've ever come across such a skillful combination of music and amazing animal and landscape photography. The changes in the tempo perfectly compliment the scenery.

This is simply a beautiful portrayal of the unique part of our continent.


God Bless Chris Hyer 11/6/2016

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

God Sometimes will Throw a Curve Ball

Good morning world, and it is  a beautiful day on Tuesday 10/4/2016. God throws me a curve ball at times and I don't know why? I do not question God as to why he does what he does for me. However , I get dissapoited at times. This job I have been hired for by a temporary agency, told me yesterday that it was no longer available. After waiting for the Territory manager for two weeks to start the job suddenly was not there for me. I had passed the background checks and the drug test and was offered the job but a start date was all I was suppose to be waiting for, and wham , no job. I was furious , but not surprised. I was calm and collective and just said , well God has something in store for me.
 In the meantime I was offered a interview as a sales rep for a company that I am not too sure sbout , if I am the right fit. However I leave this up to God to decide, so I am dressed for success the morning and ready to interview for this job today.

God has all this power and I have to follow what he throws at me. It could be for me to hone into my interview skills or to get a new job, I am not sure where this will lead me to, but I don't give in or up . I have learned this from AA and that is why I cannot stress the importance of going to these AA meetings if you are a recovering alcoholic, they can be very positive on your direction in life in general. You can use these 12 steps of AA to get somewhere in life and let go and let God work his miracles. His miracles for me are enormous, and unsuspecting at most times, and very glorious.

I have made it a little over eight years and God has held my hand and taken me places I woul not of known , that I was cabable of doing and so the chapter in my life keeps running with the clock and God's words to me are good. Have a blessed Day. Chris Hyer

PS. On a positive note a church I really love in Corpus Christy , Texas has ask me to help with thier online program, My friend Harry would be so happy that I volunteered for this position. I hope that I get this as well. Please go to http://chrchunltd.churchonline.org/ and check out Pastor Bill. Very good man with a plan for living and a plan for everyone.

Monday, September 19, 2016

Sobriety and Mindfulness?

I have been going to Barnes and Nobles almost every day to read and I came across the Best Sellers on the table and they were coloring books? Confused and out of date I must be , but they are also on the top list of wanted books on the New York Times. So of course, I went and bought a Adult coloring book and crayon pencils for about 40.00USD. Why? well I don't know why except I thought , you know this might be a way of keeping my anxiety down. When I was a child my parents bought me crayons and coloring books and I was not very good at doing this as I was a action type kid that liked to play Baseball and sports. However being an adult now, and coloring these books is a different meaning. My mother use to buy these books for the kids to keep them quite and calm, so I suppose that is the Mindfulness that belongs to these books for adults.
All these new words in the new world, lol, but I have to say this, coloring these books are no small feet, and they do help pass time, instead of watching TV. I also get a sigh of relief in coloring a black and white confused diagram in this book. Hey, they look pretty with color, and it is a great time to not think about anything for a short period of time.

So , I thought it was stupid at first, but in thinking about these coloring books, it is great for shaky hands and for focusing on what you are doing. So , I can't rule out the posiblility that they may be a good form of therapy for some of us. Let's put it this way , the first copy of one coloring book sold over 1 million copies when it came out for adults , so were either really stresed or bored to death. I can't really put my thumb on it. I get a little bit of everything, anxious,stressed, mad, and even calm now thanks to the my coloring book.Sobriety is many things to a alcoholic who was out of it for nearly 30 years, so this coloring book is kind of a cool idea for meditation and watching the page come alive. Give it a chot. God Bless. Chris Hyer

Thursday, September 15, 2016

Why is AA so Important to Keep Sobriety

AA is a group of recovered or recovering alcoholics that meet usually on a daily basis or during the week at specific times. What we do in AA is talk about how to better our lives with the tools that we are given in AA. One tool is the use of the 12 Step Program which if followed in order can help one beat the use of alcohol and keep one sober for many months, and years. It is not a cult and is not a religious group. It is people who are looking for answers to thier questions that are usually found in th Big Book of AA that is a read for the purpose of staying sober and breaking down the 12 Step Program into a more understandable way for us former alcoholics.

Why is it a necessity to go to these groups? You make friends with some of these people in AA that may have drank for the same reasons you did. We share our experiences in these rooms and remember how insignificant they really were compared to our new life of sobriety.We change while we attend these meetings into citizens that people want to be around and do business with. It could be called a new awakening of of lives and even though most of us don't really see it , it is our families that usually see our positive changes and they tend to like the new face we have put on since going to these meetings and working the program steps. It's a spiritual congregation of love and understanding that binds most of these groups together.

There are a few that go back ut and drink some more and end up dead. These are terrible results from not staying with the program. Somehow , somewhere the program did not adhere to these people and since I have been going to AA , I do know if a few that have started drinking and ended up dead within a few days to a month. This is serious to keep attending or staying in touch with a Sponsor to keeping yourself sober and happy. Yes, it is not an easy program at times we all get tempted, but we who go to these meetings realize that it is up to us to stay sober and not someone else. You cannot blame another for your drinking addiction. Hopefully this provides a little bit of insight into what AA is and what it is not. Have a nice day.God Bless Chris Hyer

Sunday, August 21, 2016

The Big Book and Sobriety

I don't make it a habit to read the Big Book of AA. I do read it in the mornings or evenings where I get bored. I usually see myself in some fashion or another in this book. This could be a present or past reflection on whom I have become as a sober individual. When reading the Big Book of AA , I find passages that are out of date. The meaning of some of the words can be quite confusing to me, so I look some of them up in a dictionary, and the word makes perfect sense to the context in which it is written. I find that reading the pages in the back of the book can be enlightening to myself, as when I go to AA meetings these back chapters are ignored.Most of the AA meetings are focused on the 12 steps of the book in the first 100 or so pages. This is good information and if lived with a spiritual connection do work for the alcoholic who is trying to understand what this whole book and program is about.

I also read the Bible on a daily basis and Rick Warren a Pastor out of California has a book called "The Spirit Driven Life", I believe that is the name of it. This book helps me to understand what God wants for me out of my relationship with him. I was hesitant to read a Pastor book , because of the church , but he has made the words make good sense to me in what my program is all about and that is a spiritual journey into God's life and how to please my God .

Years ago I could not care a less what these two books have to say. In sobriety, you need to believe in a spiritual life bigger than yourself  which can help you get over the first step in AA. How you do this can be confusing but in reality it just means you will give up drinking and or using for a power greater than yourself , the obsession will leave once you believe in this attitude. This sometimes will happen fast and other times it will be slow, I think it is how you believe in a power greater than you as to how fast this approach will transform your brain.The disease of alcoholics is really unfounded, it is a mental instability that causes most of us to drink until we pass out or otherwise get to the point in which we are comfortably numb. To stay sober  means that we will neglect alcohol and drugs and move on through the day and be as normal people do such as work and help others help themselves.

Helping others is key to living a spiritual life, but we first must focus on helping yourself get through the pain of so many years of self-abuse. This takes time and to each individual, this time also can be short to long term. You get what you put into your mind from reading and going to AA meetings and the people that you let yourself be around. I am amazed at the sober ones that have a boyfriend or girlfriend that still drinks and they are trying to stay in this sick relationship. Drinking is fine for those who do not abuse it. So I am not talking about the casual drinker , but the alcoholic who has to live with one whom is alcoholic , this must be a hard situation to cope with. I would have to get away from this person , or I could not of stayed sober for very long.

Well, it is Sunday 8/21/2016 amd I am still employed and paying bills, I go to the grocery store and run errands and do my paper work for work. I am a functioning recovered alcoholic. In the past I put off these things or they would not get done any of them. I seee my progression through these pages in my blog. I also see it and hear it from people in my AA program that say I have come a long way. That is pleasing but in reality I have a little more than 8 years of sobriety with about 20-30 years of drinking, and I am very glad that I do not crave anything like alcohol to make it through the day. I get bored and that just means I need to get busy. I call this idle hands syndrome. You have to be careful and not isolate yourself from the world and I know this at it's best. Have a great day and to feel God is to get knowledge about the spirit of God and I challenge you and myself to know more each day of our creator , so you can live one day at a time and live a whole new outlook on life. God Bles Christopher Hyer

Saturday, August 20, 2016

Saturday and Staying Sober

Saturday in the years of my drinking were days to re0couperate from Friday night highs and drinking. I would not wake up until noon or later and then go get food as I was hungry in which woke me up. It would be close to three or four in the afternoon before my head kicked in and I was truly awake. I am not sure how your Saturday was but for me it was quite and sleepy most of the day. Of course, I was preparing for Saturday night and what I was going to drink or smoke. If I was out of weed, I started to make phone calls to get some for the rest of the week. It was like a totally different lifestyle than it is now.
Eight years later in my present tense, I wake up about six AM and try to sleep in till 7 AM and then I let my puppy out the backdoor and let her do her stuff and fix breakfast and drink juice. That is my usual Saturday now. After breakfast, I look at my work phone to see if I have calls for the day I need to take care of , and then get ready to work them or if I don't I get ready for AA as I have a meeting at 10 AM I like to go to in Midland, Texas. I sometimes go grocery shopping in the morning but that habit has changed, and sometimes I just go and buy a few things cause I really just but what I can eat for a few days , but I buy a lot of sparling water. I like Swepps Sparkling water it is my beer for the day , and I like the fizz and taste of this drink. I have progressed to Gatorade also , for some odd reason, I like the taste.

So you now see the change of when I was using alcohol and drugs and to the now when I do not use these things. I really did not know the difference until I started writing this down on this blog. Maybe it is good to have a blog and write how your past was and what you are like now. It sure makes a difference in how far one has come to be sober and living with God. Yes, there is that God word again, he and I are best of friends on a daily basis. I have to have a higher power with me at all times. Call me co-dependent..lol However, it seems to work for me to have gone through these changes and end up not hung over and up and early like I am now. What a miracle once I read over what I just wrote. If you want what I have just take a few steps from AA and work them and then you become a better more productive human being, and you might help change someones life . I write this for me to loook back on and it is interesting to note that I have about 900 people that read this blog a month. So people are interested in how I live I guess. I hope it helps someone. Have a good Saturday, and God Bless. Christopher Hyer.

Sunday, July 31, 2016

Social Sobriety- Who I am and Will Become

This blog is for me as it is a journal through my life as a sober living man in Midland, Texas. I am 53 years old and grew up in Midland , Texas since age 8 . I have moved to several different cities around the country since then by myself, and have lived an adventurous and confusing life. This is not to say I am any different than most people my age as most will have moved at one point in thier lives and most will not drink themselves to complete oblivion like I use to . I sobered up many times since I was 18 years old but it was not until I was 45 did sobriety and treatment actually mean much to me. It took me getting so sick that I could barely walk, and talk. I started my sobriety in Kerrville , Texas at La Hacienda Treatment Center, One of the best programs in the USA. However It was not my first Rodeo , so to speak it has been my last . I have over eight years of continuous sobriety and I am grateful to AA and to God whom I talk to on a daily basis. He is my director for the day and the one I go to for problems and answers each and every morning and during the waking day. I also speak with Gos in the evening when I retire and ask for his blessings for many people including myself to make it through the night to face another day. This is how I live, I work a job and make my money and pay my bills on time. This is not how Chris use to be. I have come a long way to this point in my life and I am not looking to give up any time soon. In fact, I do not have another drunk left in me, I will surely die if I take another drink.

Christopher Hyer July 31 2016
I have a son who is 23 and loves me very much. I have a mother and a father that are getting up in age and soon God will throw more curve balls. I will hopefully have the knowledge to deal with whatever passes my way as he has been with me this last eight years by my side and many miracles have happened in my life. I have lived for a reason that in un- be known to myself. I have lived many different personalities in my life. The best one is the sober Chris, you ar reading right now. God bless you and have a good day. Christopher Hyer

Saturday, June 25, 2016

Christopher from Social Sobriety

Hello, and welcome to my blog, I am Christopher and the picture is me and my baby girl, Abbey. We live together in Midland, Texas and love eash other very much. I have been sober going on nine years now. My sobriety date is May 21st 2008. I am very happy to be sober this Saturday morning and thought I would write in my journal a little about myself. There are a few of you that follow this blog and I thought if I put a picture to match the words you might like this.

I will be chairperson at AA this morning in Midland , Texas at the 12 step group. It is always nice to be called on to lead a group of recovering alcoholics. I get nervous in a good way. Sometimes I talk too much and I will try not to let this get in the way of the meeting, but life has so many good things to offer the recovering alcoholic. It is nice to wake up without a hangover and tremors. I feel as good as I can feel, and I even played about 20 minutes of hardcore Tennis last night in 100 degree weather. I am way out of shape , but I am going to work Tennis into my program, I am 53 years young and I could feel my muscles aching when I moved while playing last night. I played against the backboard on the Tennis court cause I have not found me any players to hit with yet.

I write this blog for my own benefit, and it is for me to look back to see how I have grown or what I could of done better. To be honest with myself , I never really look back at the stuff I have written since I have started this back in 2011, I believe. I am writing this for when I am old and in my 90s , cause I have a feeling I will live that long at least.

I highly recommend that id you are sober and have no one to love to get a Labrador Retriever as I have in this picture. They are loving animals and very human like. My puppy is now 2 years old and she is my life. We do a lot of things together and she gets me out of the house for walks. She walks me , you see. SHe is a female and is so loving and giving, and so much fun to talk to every single day. I wake up to her in the morning as she has her own room in the laundry room. She is always wagging her tail and eager to see me. She waits while I take a shower to make sure I am alright and then loves on me to tell me how happy she is. ANyway I am mumbling, just thought you might like to se a picture of us..Christopher

Saturday, June 18, 2016

Single and Sober

I was traveling the other day and decided to place an ad on Match.com and see if I could find a nice young lady. I have used all the free sites and I keep running into girls that want money, or escorts, hookers, and you name it I have talked to them. I really am not looking for sex, I am looking for a friend to spend time with for a long while. Does she need to be an alcoholic, not really , I can accept about anyone, and if they drink so be it. If they drink too much then that is a closer. However I have not been on this site for more than a day I am glad to see there really is a few delightful women on this thing. Communication is one way , my way..lol..However, I am taking this last chance of finding that special girl online one more time and even spent money for this service. I must be serious, I am reading how to pick up a girl instead of just telling her she os pretty in a nice way. So I look on google and searched cute oneliners I could use and we will see if that helps. They are good and it has made me think about how to communicate with a women's intelligence.

I have been alone for about over 20 years and not really dated since I have been sober, the reason why is it is hard to find women when you don't go to the bar. I , even thought about making a night of it tonight to see if I could go to a bar and feel comfortable in finding a dancing partner, but I am pretty shy. I am not the Alpha male I claim I am . I get nervous and freak out. It's like when I ask a girl to dance I feel like she thinks I want to sleep with her, which are not my intentions. The alcoholic thinking , I have is this. Like I said I have not even tried the bar scene in so many years, I rememberer from experiences that is how I felt. I can't tell a girls age but I would probably go for the 20 year old cause she is cute and get a "Your as old as my father " look. I can't judge age, so maybe I should go for the older looking girls and not risk any rejection,because I don't like rejection.

It's a new thing I am into right now in finding one to love. I guess I must be really needing this , as it has been hitting my head lately. Wish Me luck. Christopher Hyer

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Alcoholic and Using Words To a Better Life

As a recovered alcoholic , I have read several books on self -help for everything I can to help me with anxieties to living life sober. I did have a book call Persuasion Techniques and Using Words. I found this very enlightening as the words we say make a negative and positive effect on whom we speak to and how someone might take the words we speak.

Its interesting to me that how negative words can be taken out of context and other findings I found on words. It is like when you say "How are you doing today?" That is very common, and the usual answer is doing fine. However we are really not communicating our true feelings we are just giving the answer that is easily out of our mouths. You might have just yelled at your spouse and your having a crappy day but you don't want to get into all that with a complete stranger. . Positive and negative words are very interesting to look up and read about. What is a word anyway? Got you on that one, I don't have a dictionary and I don't want to look it up right now. That would be negative in a sense
 that I just don't want to tell you cause I really don't care to do a search on google and then write a paragraph on this subject.

I just thought I would throw in my two cents on words today and if you find a book about words and what you tell yourself with these words , I think you will find yourself maybe saying words that either upset other people or make even yourself fel bad with the words that you use on a daily basis. Being positive in a recovering system is what life is all about is where I am going with this. Like I said I write this for me, and anyone that reads this blog , is fine with me. This is my journal and I think I will watch my words. lol Christopher Hyer

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Gambling and Alcohol Addiction " They go hand in hand"

I am perfect by no means. What I am going to point out to myself on here is that yes, I have addiction problems. I'm addicted to sex, gambling and was addicted to alcohol. I heard a speaker at my Treatment Center named Chris Raymer , and he goes on to say that we all have that little pleasure person inside us called the "Issue Man" The "Issue Man" Loves pleasure we get from drugs alcohol, sex, gambling anything that gives us a high. This part of our body craves our addiction and will tell us to get more of it. Controlling the :Issue Man " is near impossible for the recovering addict. However that is where the 12 steps come in to say , hey stop the insanity and let us get with the program; Chris. I do alright for a while then I fall back into gambling , I know the value of money, but I also know the rush I get from hitting a jackpot. They are almost the exact same except I don't get the same type of hangover with gambling as I did with alcohol. I do get a hangover from gambling especially if I have lost a lot of money. I feel terrible, and shameful , gutted, and stupid.

Yes, gambling produces a high like nonother I can think of. It is time-consuming and with the laughs and crowd, it can be most enjoyable to thiose of us who don't have anything else to do with our time. I drive 100 miles almost evry weekend to go gamble and I win at times , but lose more than win. Until I accept this for what it is, it might get worse, and I better watch out. I am on alert to this problem , and I thought I could control it, and I did but this last weekend I blew my whole paycheck, so out of control for me.

Beware of your addictions and how to manage them or do without them. Use the 12 steps to get out of something that may be ruining your life or taking your hard earned money. I know from experience that when I do wrong , I feel it. Nothing is worth going back to drinking for me , and I will have to deal with this addiction when I am serious about working it. It is just like an alcoholic, gambling is . You need to know when to stop or it will catch your ass when you are not looking. Hope this helps you as I hope it helps me. Christopher Hyer

Sunday, June 5, 2016

Time and the Alcoholic

Time, when we are awake and have a holiday or a weekend day off for an alcoholic can be a little unusual. In Midland, Texas there is no lakes for miles or mountains for miles and really not much in entertainment except for  eating out, or going to a movie. I have done both for the last 8 years and I have to say it gets boring. I might just be relaxed and with nothing to do, I get a little confused.I don't think about drinking or smoking but I do wonder what the hell to do. I drive  at least 1500 miles a week with the company I am with and the last thing I want to do is go for a ride. I use to paint a little bit here and there but I found this boring in itself. I am alone most of the time I am off, I don't date anymore. I have not found anyone I would even consider dating at my age of 53 in this town. I have looked, believe me I am on every singles sight there is that is free and no one appeals to me. A few ladies do appeal to me, but I have these chat sessions and they get boring really quick because I know where they are heading, to the next time I chat with them. lol

I'm not saying that life alone is boring , but at times, it can be. Maybe that means I need to change up my program a little bit. I go to enough AA meetings a week, and that is not the answer. To be honest with myself I don't want to hang out with a bunch of recovered drunks every day of my life. I like to break away from the social sobriety thing and just do my own thing. With so many years of drinking and being alone, I am glad I am sober at least for one more day and that is how I justify my boredom. I would sit at home with a hangover almost daily and have an excuse to be bored then. I now am sober and almost do the same thing as when I was drinking. I must find an activity that will give me a rush to do on days off. I will work on this possibly as I get tired of movies at home and yet I am 53 and most people my age, I am not sure what the hell they do except for rest on their day off. Hell, I only had one day off from work and I'm talking about boredom. Christopher Hyer

Friday, June 3, 2016

Sobriety and the Internet "huh"

Well, interesting enough, I started writing this blog about 7 years ago and I have about 400 readers monthly . So you are reading what was intended on being a personal journal abut my sobriety and living life. Thank you for finding an interest in this blog. I don't care if a thousand people read this a month, I am not making any money for it..Anyway, I had my AA Birthday night last week and 20 people turned out to listen to what I had to say. It really was a large crowd for my group as we are a small group of usually about 6- 10 people showing up to meetings. I was glad that there were people interested in what I had to say.
I wrote most of what I wanted to say down before going to the meeting as I was the only speaker. There was a fellow from the treatment center, called La Hacienda that was there, he was alright I guess. Treatment centers trip me out. They take all your money when you go into one and if you have no previous association with AA , it can really throw you for a loop. Especially if you don't stay sober when your 30 days are up. Then you lost about 60k from La Hacienda and then they beg you to come back. Shit, I understand that a lot of celebrities and musicians go to this treatment center, even more than the Betty Ford clinic in California. You would think there would be some type of warranty with your money. I guess what I am saying is that if you have not fallen off a cliff and lost everything , please get yourself some free help from the Salvation Army or something like this organization. It is no country club , but I have been there in Ft Worth and I did stay sober for about 4 years because the damn place scared the crap out of me. Scared straight!! Maybe that is the answer instead of expensive country club spa locations that cater to the rich and famous.

These are only my opinions but in real life when you get out of the country club setting , you might still have a job and a house and a spouse but nine times out of ten most have lost all. This is not true for everyone, granted we all hit our own bottom when we decide it or alcohol and drugs have taken our money and cars and caused relationships to dry up. There is hope for everyone, including myself. staying sober for eight years is the most I have ever been like this and I don't ever see myself going back to the old way of living because I was not living, I was dying..

Truth, is I am living a great life, now. Yes , there are some downfalls, but I am hitting them straight on with honesty and truthfulness.It is so much better than all the lies I use to tell people tomake myself feel good, and I did feel good when I was high or stoned. I feel good straight now also, and it takes a few months or years to feel like I do right now. I would be a fool to go back to the past and re-live my whole crushing living with booze and drugs. I think about it at times that I had fun parties, but in reality, I was not having that much fun. I was drunk or high and just existing in my body. We all have addiction traits , like to chocolate or ice cream. However , they do not change the way you think or communicate with the world. They are fun addictions that need control. I drink Swepps Soda Water all the time and I am addicted to the bubbles and frosty feel in my mouth. It is like a ber , if you know where I am coming from. I even get virgin Bloody Mary drinks at the bar sometimes because I like them. However , I don't go to the bar on a monthly basis. I am pretty much working at something everyday. I feel like I am excelling in every day and accomplishing something as stupid as washing my clothes or taking the dog for a walk. These are things I never did when I was using alcohol or drugs. in the past I just sat at home and painted some pretty far out pictures with oil paint and got high, I saw stuff and painted them. They were graphic and I can even do this sober, but it took a while for my artistic self to realize I did not need to smoke a joint to paint. I guess we never forget the past and remeber the good times more than the bad. I think that is where AA helps me out. I wish you al a good weekend and I hope you enjoy my blog. Keep coming back it just gets more and more interesting I think..lol  Christopher Hyer

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

I get Bored AT Times being Sober

AT times I get pretty bored in between work and at home. I like being home but , I have exhausted my old hobbies with music and art. I find that the time I kill now is laying on the couch and watching a movie with my eyes closed, cause I am tired. Funny thing is I use to do the same thing when I was drinking . Except now , I am not. I don't wake up with the room spinning and I don't feel bad. Maybe a little bit depressed and wondering if I should do something new with my living situation. Midland, Texas is a boring town. No Lakes or mountains to gaze at and the only place to go out at night is AA, a restaurant, or bar. Being single my choices are very limited, I use to look forward to going to work. Now this is getting boring. I have been to more AA meetings and I enjoy these, but while I work I can't really attend these and that would be a cruch in a way.

AA cannot rule my life just guide it. I would get bored from going to a meeting every hour on the hour or every day for that matter. So Chris has to come up with an alternative to keep busy when I am at home beside looking at porn on the internet. lol..Really I don't look at that much porn..but in reality I do have to find a book I guess and start reading something. I watched a movie with Robert Deniro last night called the Intern. See it if you have not , it is a new release, but it pretty much is about a guy who is 70 and gets a job with a Google type company run by 20 something kids. It is funny and it is reality. He stays busy with yoga and other things , but it was good for me to see this show. Oh well I will report on what happens to me , right now I am just trying to get through each day, seems to be getting a little tougher than before, not sure whats up. I think its the boredom.Chris

Sobriety and Covid and Living Normal

I have had this blog for ober 8 years and made nothing off of this blog. I write to talk about daily things and living without alcohol and I...